|
As a personal project, I'm compiling a list of terrible superpowers that have appeared in fiction. To make things a little more difficult, I'm trying to limit this to powers that would be terrible to have. A clever enough writer can turn an apparently nothing skill into something really impressive - I'm thinking of "Metallurgist" (from Marvel's New Universe), who had absolute total control over one hubcap from a 1949 Chevrolet that he found by the side of the highway. (Imagine Captain America's shield. Now imagine it would come when you called, and carry you when it levitated, and guard you while you slept.) Even if the power doesn't much lend itself to munchkinry - here's what I have so far: King Midas (Greek myth) - turns everything he touches to gold, including food and loved ones (and eventually the whole planet - Ryan North's "The Midas Flesh") Black Bolt (Marvel Comics) - shockwave powers that are linked to his ability to speak, so he can never use his voice without destroying everything around him and has to stay mute Lepidopt (Tim Powers' novel 'Three Days to Never') - knows when he's had a given experience for the last time. "That's the last time I'll ever be in Australia / eat a tuna sandwich / hear anyone say 'John Wayne'", etc Miriam Black (Chuck Wendig's 'Miriam Black' novels) - upon making skin contact with you, knows how and when you die. She's tried to change the future. It never works. Kid Psycho (Legion of Superheroes) - forcefield projection that shortens his lifespan by a year each time he uses it. Nick Stavrianos (Greg Egan's novel 'Quarantine') - 'eigenstate', or 'quantum diffraction', which creates (n) versions of you and is utterly terrible for (n-1) of them Gus Kusevic (Algis Budrys' story "Nobody Bothers Gus"), is super strong, super smart, and super unmemorable. And super lonely. Mr. McMahon ("the Man who Always Knew", again by Budrys) knows who's going to come up with amazing inventions, and when, and where, and even what, and he invests in them and everyone gets rich and successful, hurray, and impostor syndrome is crushing him because he doesn't do anything. Nathan "Dr Nemo" Flack(Milestone Comics) - worse than Gus, because at least people will talk to Gus if he's there and approaches them. Nobody even notices Dr Nemo unless he's actively concentrating. "Do you know what it's like to spit on the President? To beat a man to death in broad daylight and get no reaction?" 'Don't Call Me Til Morning'("Miss Bulletproof Comes Out of Retirement" by Louis Evans) has no powers unless you wake her up when she was trying to loving sleep goddammit. Related point: Max Damage (Irredeemable / Incorruptible) gets more powerful the longer he stays awake, so whenever he needs to do something difficult he's hallucinating from sleep deprivation. Gardner 'Flashback' Monroe (Alpha Flight) can generate copies of himself that are actually him from the future. One of them got killed in a fight, and now he lives in terror that at any moment he'll be yanked into the past and impaled by an evil robot. Tom Niles ("The Man Who Never Forgot", Robert Silverberg) - the one thing he can't remember is that other people won't remember having interacted with him for eleven minutes at a baseball game 7 years 4 months 3 days ago and thus he can't function in society Victor 'Kleenex' Pasco, (New Universe) is allergic to superpowers. That's his only power: if you have powers and are standing next to him, he's constantly sneezing and itchy all over. Emery 'Butterball' Schaub (Avengers Initiative) is invulnerable and indestructible, and when he got his powers he was fat and weak and out of shape, and his power will keep him that way forever.
|
#
?
Oct 31, 2023 06:01
|
|
|
|
| # ? Jun 7, 2024 20:28 |
|
|
this is a recurring thing in the (otherwise mediocre) wild card novels
|
|
#
?
Nov 1, 2023 18:41
|
|
|
Cease to Hope posted:this is a recurring thing in the (otherwise mediocre) wild card novels Don't suppose you could provide any specific examples? It's been a long time since I read those.
|
|
#
?
Nov 2, 2023 18:34
|
|
|
it's complicated by the fact that i haven't read them in ages either, lol there's a supervirus that mutates people who get infected. most people die when symptoms erupt, most of the survivors are horribly mutated ("dealt a joker") although this can come with superpowers, and the remainder who get superpowers but aren't disfigured are "aces" (or "deuces" if their power is trivial or dumb). all i remember is that jokers were mostly animal people and really discriminated against
|
|
#
?
Nov 2, 2023 23:46
|
|
|
Cease to Hope posted:it's complicated by the fact that i haven't read them in ages either, lol No, I remember that, it's the basic premise of the books ("I can't die yet, I haven't seen The Jolson Story"). And I remember a bunch of specific examples of characters with powers, and characters with grotesque mutations. But I don't remember any specific examples of powers that would be terrible to have.
|
|
#
?
Nov 3, 2023 01:56
|
|
|
being an oppressed minority seems like a pretty bad superpower if you ask me
|
|
#
?
Nov 3, 2023 06:08
|
|
|
Parahexavoctal posted:No, I remember that, it's the basic premise of the books ("I can't die yet, I haven't seen The Jolson Story"). And I remember a bunch of specific examples of characters with powers, and characters with grotesque mutations. But I don't remember any specific examples of powers that would be terrible to have. There was one character named Angelface who was trampled by a horse and spent decades confined to a bed with a shattered face and spine. When the virus happened it rejuvenated her and made her magnificently beautiful but also gave her extraordinarily sensitive nerves and skin, to the point that just walking causes her horrible pain and bruising. She's also highly resistant to sensation-dulling drugs and medications, so when she became a heroin addict to deaden the pain she had to shoot up epic amounts to get a minimal high.
|
|
#
?
Nov 3, 2023 10:49
|
|
|
McSpanky posted:There was one character named Angelface who was trampled by a horse and spent decades confined to a bed with a shattered face and spine. When the virus happened it rejuvenated her and made her magnificently beautiful but also gave her extraordinarily sensitive nerves and skin, to the point that just walking causes her horrible pain and bruising. She's also highly resistant to sensation-dulling drugs and medications, so when she became a heroin addict to deaden the pain she had to shoot up epic amounts to get a minimal high. A better fate than Biblically-Accurate Angelface, one of those unfortunate jokers.
|
|
#
?
Nov 3, 2023 14:27
|
|
|
There are tons of stories about immortality being a curse, going back hundreds of years. Some characters have the problem that they can't turn their powers off, like Cyclops and Rogue from X-Men. Also there's a character in I'm a Virgo who's super fast and has to do everything incredibly slowly (from her perspective) to be able to interact with anyone else. The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul by Douglas Adams has someone who says everything said by Dustin Hoffman a moment before Hoffman says it. It doesn't matter where Hoffman is or what he's doing. Action Jacktion fucked around with this message at 18:17 on Nov 3, 2023 |
|
#
?
Nov 3, 2023 17:17
|
|
|
OP you may be interested in the Worst X-Man Ever run. https://marvel.fandom.com/wiki/X-Men:_Worst_X-Man_Ever_Vol_1_1
|
|
#
?
Nov 3, 2023 20:50
|
|
|
The worst superpower is definitely America. 
|
|
#
?
Nov 8, 2023 22:11
|
|
|
Sanguinia posted:The worst superpower is definitely America. What about that one that built the big "death star" thing. Bunch of idiots the lot of them. As far as I can tell they only got into power because everyone else was somehow stupider. ...which honestly that seems the most realistic part.
|
|
#
?
Nov 9, 2023 11:59
|
|
|
dr_rat posted:What about that one that built the big "death star" thing. Don't be too proud of that technological terror
|
|
#
?
Nov 9, 2023 17:17
|
|
|
Sanguinia posted:Don't be too proud of that technological terror Don't try to frighten us with your sorcerous ways
|
|
#
?
Nov 10, 2023 00:07
|
|
|
What, no Dogwelder yet?
|
|
#
?
Nov 10, 2023 13:27
|
|
|
Groke posted:What, no Dogwelder yet? a) not really a power, is it? b) even if it was, how is it terrible for him?
|
|
#
?
Nov 10, 2023 17:22
|
|
|
Pirate Jet posted:OP you may be interested in the Worst X-Man Ever run. https://marvel.fandom.com/wiki/X-Men:_Worst_X-Man_Ever_Vol_1_1 So apparently that guy's power is he can blow himself up, but only once, then he's dead. I guess he could just... not do it, and then he would just be normal? The only thing super about that power is that it's super disappointing, but it's not a real nuisance. Anyone could blow themselves up once if they really wanted to. Maybe not instantly on command, but still. I didn't read too far into it other than that, but if he is in constant fear of accidentally blowing himself up at any given moment, like if he just thought about it wrong for a second and then *boom*, then yeah that would suck. I guess he could get his hopes up about his power then tumble into crippling depression upon learning how bad it is, and that would suck too. Having that happen in life doesn't exactly take a superpower, though it would be a pretty crappy catalyst for the result. I'm guessing there's more in that series, I just looked at the one posted.
|
|
#
?
Nov 10, 2023 23:07
|
|
|
Twenty Four posted:So apparently that guy's power is he can blow himself up, but only once, then he's dead. I guess he could just... not do it, and then he would just be normal? The only thing super about that power is that it's super disappointing, but it's not a real nuisance. Anyone could blow themselves up once if they really wanted to. Maybe not instantly on command, but still. I'd say the worst powers are ones like that, ones that are garbage on their own and need to be paired with some level of invulnerability or healing to actually be feasible.
|
|
#
?
Nov 11, 2023 04:01
|
|
|
super sweet best pal posted:I'd say the worst powers are ones like that, ones that are garbage on their own and need to be paired with some level of invulnerability or healing to actually be feasible. The original superman "flight" which was just jumping really high. Like if you can't survive falling from high distances as well, it's sort of handy but if your able to jump sky scrape height, then the tallest you can jump and how high you can survive jumping are very different values. You would have to be realllll careful anytime you jumped.
|
|
#
?
Nov 11, 2023 04:09
|
|
|
super sweet best pal posted:I'd say the worst powers are ones like that, ones that are garbage on their own and need to be paired with some level of invulnerability or healing to actually be feasible. Usually I would agree, but some of the ones in the first post and some posted later are worse than just being garbage, they are a regular nuisance at best or completely debilitating in some cases, also some with zero upsides. Although the "you can do such and such but..." are way funnier, I can vaguely remember some threads like that.
|
|
#
?
Nov 11, 2023 05:09
|
|
|
This discussion reminded me of a pretty good Superman annual from the cross-brand themed "Legends of the Dead Earth" event. On an Earth colony far in the future, they have a full genetic scan of Superman's DNA and could splice small portions of it into a normal human to give them one of his superpowers, creating a team of superheroes. But the process is imperfect and there's always some kind of drawback:
|
|
#
?
Nov 12, 2023 12:11
|
|
|
This kid's got a pretty poo poo power: https://imgur.com/gallery/I71V6 And then there's an X-Man who was retconned into existence called "ForgetMeNot" whos' power is like The Silence from Doctor Who... if you aren't actively looking at/talking to him, you immediately forget he exists. Even electronic surveillance "forgets" he's there, or something. Like, his power makes it so he won't show up on recorded footage. Poor dude can't have friends or anything, really.
|
|
#
?
Nov 13, 2023 19:25
|
|
|
Chamber (X-Men/New Warriors) can cast energy blasts from his chest. After he lost his mutant power, on M-Day, he was left with a gaping hole in his chest and no jaw and ended up hooked up to some crazy machinery created by Beast to keep him clinging to life in a special bed. I think any super power that would cause you to die if you lost the power pretty much sucks. tadashi fucked around with this message at 21:21 on Nov 13, 2023 |
|
#
?
Nov 13, 2023 21:17
|
|
|
DrBouvenstein posted:This kid's got a pretty poo poo power: the gently caress is it with mutants in x-men that literally cannot help but kill everything around them like isn't there some other character that kills people if they touch them?
|
|
#
?
Nov 14, 2023 05:59
|
|
|
Farmer Crack-rear end posted:like isn't there some other character that kills people if they touch them? That's not a mutant superpower, that's just the every day life of a clumsy surgeon.
|
|
#
?
Nov 14, 2023 06:12
|
|
|
Farmer Crack-rear end posted:the gently caress is it with mutants in x-men that literally cannot help but kill everything around them Not sure about Marvel but there's a DC character named Mr. Bones because his flesh is invisible so all you see is his skeleton, also his skin exudes cyanide on contact. But he works for the CIA I believe, so it's more of a job perk in that case.
|
|
#
?
Nov 14, 2023 18:07
|
|
|
Farmer Crack-rear end posted:the gently caress is it with mutants in x-men that literally cannot help but kill everything around them Rogue's power was doing that for a while, but it got fixed. Probably happened with someone else, too. It's basically the same metaphor as Edward Scissorhands so yeah, they go back to the well a lot.
|
|
#
?
Nov 16, 2023 00:11
|
|
|
I'd say the powers of a frog but My Hero Academia neatly disproves that.
|
|
#
?
Nov 16, 2023 14:37
|
|
|
That's pretty much Sammy the Squid-Boy.
|
|
#
?
Nov 17, 2023 12:03
|
|
|
McSpanky posted:There was one character named Angelface who was trampled by a horse and spent decades confined to a bed with a shattered face and spine. When the virus happened it rejuvenated her and made her magnificently beautiful but also gave her extraordinarily sensitive nerves and skin, to the point that just walking causes her horrible pain and bruising. See also: Mister Sensitive/Orphan from X-Force/X-Statix. His mutant power grants him supertuned senses that basically border on precognition, but they're not selective or something that can be turned off and on at will. All five senses are under constant assault, but especially his sense of touch. He has a special suit and medicines that can moderate the effects, but he's basically constantly feeling intense physical pain. (There's a great sequence where Orphan fights Tony Stark one-on-one, both guys out of their suits and completely naked, and Stark gets the upper hand on Orphan for a second by throwing a handful of loose grass at his face.)
|
|
#
?
Nov 21, 2023 07:15
|
|
|
Arm-Fall-Off-Boy is probably the answer, although I'm sure having a detachable arm is useful if you have an itch on your lower back.
|
|
#
?
Nov 21, 2023 07:46
|
|
|
I had the realization as a kid that classic invisibility sounds pretty overrated as a superpower. You have to be naked for it, so you're cold and exposed to the ground and the elements, you can't really carry anything, your presence can be revealed through a lot of different ways, and it doesn't have many uses that aren't criminal. Was pleasantly surprised reading The Invisible Man that the book specifically adresses this, and that the story is largely about some psychopath with delusions of grandeur getting shown up by regular people. There's a (rather unremarkable otherwise) 2019 French movie, L'Angle Mort, where some ordinary guy has had the power to turn himself invisible since birth through breathing exercises and, as the power starts fading, wonders what the hell he can even use it for besides gently caress around.
|
|
#
?
Dec 5, 2023 20:11
|
|
|
The other thing about invisibility is that using it would make you blind, unless it also comes with the ability to see into non-visible wavelengths.
|
|
#
?
Dec 6, 2023 11:14
|
|
|
Gravitas Shortfall posted:The other thing about invisibility is that using it would make you blind, unless it also comes with the ability to see into non-visible wavelengths. I know it's a caveat that has to be accepted in order for virtually all invisibility stories to work, but it's kind of annoying all the same that most don't even try to handwave it. At least the Sci-Fi Channel's Invisible Man series had his perspective portrayed in black and white, implying that something weird was going on with the quicksilver. He could also be seen in infrared and the substance flowed through his whole body, so maybe it somehow allowed his eyes to absorb infrared wavelengths or something. There was also the Invisible Woman analogue in Wildstorm's Planetary villain team The Four, who actually couldn't see when she turned invisible until the similarly Reed Richards-esque team leader devised some kind of superscience solution involving a sensory visor wired into her brain.
|
|
#
?
Dec 7, 2023 22:42
|
|
|
There was a D&D game I was watching where the rule was that you could notice invisible people if you had really really good vision and senses because the invisibility spell would leave a tiny part of their pupils visible, so they could still see a bit
MikeJF fucked around with this message at 05:06 on Dec 8, 2023 |
|
#
?
Dec 8, 2023 05:04
|
|
|
Why do people who are willing to accept superpowers that defy all laws of physics always have that one hangup about invisibility and blindness?
|
|
#
?
Dec 8, 2023 13:42
|
|
|
Buttchocks posted:Why do people who are willing to accept superpowers that defy all laws of physics always have that one hangup about invisibility and blindness? Because invisibility is one of those powers that's almost plausible, and once you start thinking about how ways it could work, you run into the "but we use light to see with" problem. I assume this is also why the Predator sees in thermal vision.
|
|
#
?
Dec 8, 2023 15:33
|
|
|
It's powered by the Invisibility Force, which, like the Speed Force, just happens to solve any problems with actual physics that would realistically occur.
Emrikol fucked around with this message at 20:50 on Dec 8, 2023 |
|
#
?
Dec 8, 2023 17:44
|
|
|
All the invisibility discussion reminds me of The Invisible Boy from Mystery Men, which put a fun twist on the power: He could become completely invisible...as long as nobody was looking at him. The utility was that security cameras and motion detectors don't count as "being seen," so he could get past automated security systems without issue (assuming that no one looked at the camera feed.)
|
|
#
?
Dec 8, 2023 20:02
|
|
|
|
| # ? Jun 7, 2024 20:28 |
|
|
MikeJF posted:There was a D&D game I was watching where the rule was that you could notice invisible people if you had really really good vision and senses because the invisibility spell would leave a tiny part of their pupils visible, so they could still see a bit That's pretty funny since "a wizard did it" is the literal go-to handwave for this sort of thing.
|
|
#
?
Dec 9, 2023 00:42
|
|