r/relationships: it sounds like I'm having sex with a parrot or malfunctioning robot

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: it sounds like I'm having sex with a parrot or malfunctioning robot

«‹›3 »

Halloween Jack: Sep 12, 2003; I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

mystes posted:

I guess if his wife is really determined that he should somehow convey this information to his coworkers, he could take a picture of her posing with a bi flag and have that at his desk or something

That's the least weird way that I can think of. It would probably still seem weirdly forced but at least it's not creepy.

Just put up a bunch of photos of your wife with a bisexual lighting filter on all of them.

# ¿ Apr 6, 2024 00:34

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ May 17, 2024 11:13

Halloween Jack: Sep 12, 2003; I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

Agrikk posted:

Pages back but I�ve been in recovery for going on thirteen years now and I order milk when I go to bars with my friends just to gently caress with people. In a sea of mules and tonics and pints and old fashions, my pint of 2% stands tall and unrepentant.

It�s really bizarre how strong of a reaction I�ve received over the years from bartenders and patrons alike. On more than one occasion a (very drunk) guy tried to get me to �step outside� so he could kick my rear end.

People are weird

# ¿ Apr 7, 2024 00:52

Halloween Jack: Sep 12, 2003; I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

The ages of everyone involved are interesting.

# ¿ Apr 8, 2024 16:38

Halloween Jack: Sep 12, 2003; I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

I nurse a particularly bitter hatred for adults who play dumb about how children actually think as opposed to what they're supposed to think. Why isn't my 15 year old excited about a baby?! Why doesn't my 17 year old daughter want to hang out with her 8 year old brother?! Why isn't my blended family perfect???

# ¿ Apr 8, 2024 17:36

Halloween Jack: Sep 12, 2003; I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

Don't worry, she can leave for college as soon as she's done potty-training her sibling.

# ¿ Apr 8, 2024 17:49

Halloween Jack: Sep 12, 2003; I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

John Wick of Dogs posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xGcCV-WYGKU

Five bags of popcorn.

Molybdenum posted:

There's a YouTube video that explains the humor of that set:

Yeah, that's a 1-bagger.

# ¿ Apr 8, 2024 21:26

Halloween Jack: Sep 12, 2003; I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

Kuros posted:

Are we playing three sets? I'm sure I can suss out a bullshit point against Serena. Maybe if she double faults or something.

I think I have like a 0.5-1% chance. She's a professional athlete, there's always a chance that her ACL just explodes for no reason.

# ¿ Apr 9, 2024 15:24

Halloween Jack: Sep 12, 2003; I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

I have twice defeated a bear in close-quarters battle. In both cases I tactically assessed the situation and immediately neutralized the bear with a headshot from approximately 10m using a rock I found on the ground. The bear hosed off into the woods.

# ¿ Apr 9, 2024 15:31

Halloween Jack: Sep 12, 2003; I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

AITAH for not wanting to breakup my engagement with my fiance that happens to be my stepsister.

quote:

Apologies for the throw away but giving the title i hope everyone can understand why we want to stay anonymous.

Don't care if you believe me.

The title is correct i 28M have been in a relationship with my now fiance 27F for the last 5 years and now engaged for a couple of week she also just so happens to be my stepsister as well.

Our parents wants us to break it off and breakup because they think it's weird.

The problem with this is i have known my fiance for more than 8 years now and the only reason why we are stepsibling is because her father and my mother started to date 3 years back after we introduced them to each other and got married last year.

My mother and her father where bought single when we untroduced them to each other at her 23th birthday party and we never thought a relationship will happen between them because they are worlds apart. Introducing the parents are just one of those things that comes with being in a relationship was our thoughts.

Neither my father of her mother are alive.

We found out about them dating 7 months into their relationship and yes it was weird as hell but decided to stay out of it because their relationship had nothing to do with us and they seemed happy.

Everything was going sort of okay but we did keep our distance from them as the situation was still weird for us they also left us alone but that all stopped after their wedding.

Everything started with weird comments from them here and there and my mother all of a sudden started talking to me about this pretty girl she works with or the new girl at the grocery store wanting to intreduce me, her father basically did the same but in a more suttle way talking about not getting married young, traveling enjoying life all that poo poo. We found this strange and multiple times we asked them to stop.

Everything escalated after i proposed and they where pissed to say the least when we told them.

They got visibly angry, yelling at us and asking what will people think, are we trying to make them look bad, we are siblings, the joke of us dating has gone on long enough and it's time we break up because we are no longer allowed to date each other because we became a family after they married.

They actually demanded that we call off the engagement and break up because they are tired of how awkward we made them feel and having to hear people talking behind their back. We are disgusting my fiance was actually in tears at this point.

I told the to go an gently caress themselves as we did nothing wrong and if anyone was disgusting it was them because who goes out them marries their childs partners parent if they want to see disgust they should look into a mirror.

Things almost got physical between my fiances father and me but my fiance came between us and just asked if we could leave. I was pissed, i don't think i have ever been that angry.

Now call me childish, disgusting, pig, or the rear end in a top hat, whatever but i know im a DICK and with how pissed i was i wanted to get one last jab in before leaving their house just before i walked out the door, i yelled don't worry about us just know i will enjoy loving my sister tonight.

She was pissed at that comments and told me in the car that was unnecessary but the next morning after all the emotions wasn't so high she actually laughed at it but still told me that was unnecessary i kind of agree with her.

Our phones have been going crazy with all the calls and text telling us they refuse to support us and will cut us off if we decide to continue on dating and a bunch of other thing i don't think is allowed on here.

Me an my fiance are on the same page we will not be breaking up or calling off anything and if that means we do some cutting off, we are happy to do so.

I know it looks bad looking in from the out side as we are technically stepsibling and i don't want to sound like a 9 year old but we dated first. What if we where already married will they then demand that we divorced. She agreed with me posting but under a throw away to ask for judgment because this whole situation and their demands are complete poo poo in my opinion.

Will give additional information if needed depending on what is asked.

AITAH.

Edit.

If and when our parents show up again which they will. Im working on a couple if more jabs, if you have any please share.

Petty as gently caress over here.

It's pointless to debate if these are real, but I gotta think: Wouldn't you start off by saying that you and your fiancee were dating for 2 years before your parents met and started dating?

# ¿ Apr 9, 2024 19:56

Halloween Jack: Sep 12, 2003; I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

I don't know how anyone can afford to smoke cigarettes.

# ¿ Apr 10, 2024 17:17

Halloween Jack: Sep 12, 2003; I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

Yeah, but think of all the kids who got asthma because their parents were fat!

# ¿ Apr 10, 2024 17:53

Halloween Jack: Sep 12, 2003; I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

My Spirit Otter posted:

no but they are a burden on tax-payer funded healthcare systems, because it turns out you are not healthy at any size

Oh no! My taxpayer funded healthcare system! It was doing so great until all those fat people showed up and ruined everything!

# ¿ Apr 10, 2024 18:33

Halloween Jack: Sep 12, 2003; I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

Mordiceius posted:

UPDATE: AITAH for dumping my gf after moving in with her.

What an idiot! When TikTok Relationship Court clears her name and forces him to move back in with her, he's gonna have hell to pay. To saying nothing of what's in store for the landlord.

# ¿ Apr 10, 2024 18:44

Halloween Jack: Sep 12, 2003; I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

FMguru posted:

AITAH for exposing my bestfriend's boyfriend to his own mom because he's a chronic cheater? And now his family hates him

Well gosh, I dunno, I'm sure he's a shithead but getting involved in his family sounds like you're just looking to stir shi--

(actually reads story)

Yes, nuke this rear end in a top hat's entire life, you're doing a public service.

# ¿ Apr 11, 2024 14:51

Halloween Jack: Sep 12, 2003; I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

mystes posted:

The partner is being dumb but reading between the lines I think it's because he's feeling insecure that the OP is the only one bringing in any money and so by OP jumping in and telling him what to do the partner feels like it's undermining the business he's trying to start to change that being his thing

Yeah, but tough poo poo. If he doesn't understand the concept of an itemized receipt, he's not going to be in business very long.

ApplesandOranges posted:

What about people with genetic issues or can�t afford anything but cheap food that also makes you fat

M. Night Shyamalan should make a movie about a beach that makes you fat

# ¿ Apr 11, 2024 15:34

Halloween Jack: Sep 12, 2003; I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

I (23F) can no longer stand my fiance's (30M) ex (30F) living with us, how do I suggest she moves out?

quote:

The ex gave birth to twins after they broke up, and fiance's parents built a guest house on their property for her to move in to. My fiance and I also live with his parents. They have a beautiful, large home that allows us all the privacy we need and we get to save a lot of money all while living close to work. It works for us. It would be perfect if the ex would just move out.

My main issue is she gets into a lot of fights with everyone. My fiance, his parents. It's frustrating that my ex always sticks up for her. He's quick to excuse her lovely behavior because he has a lot of empathy for her.

But they're constantly fighting. Like, you know when you walk into a room and the atmosphere is so awkward because they had just been fighting before you got there? That happens to me daily. It's even worse when they fight in front of other people because then I get my friends asking me if I'm worried about the chemistry between them. To other people, they just look like a couple fighting. It almost make me feel bad that my fiance and I never fight which is weird because that actually just goes to show we have the perfect relationship.

I know that the whole family wants the babies to grow up there, but I also know that no one really likes the ex gf. I think everyone would be happier if she just moved, but how do I go about bringing that up without offending her?

edit: She barely is around her own babies, she's out most days. She doesn't even work as they are supporting her financially. If they weren't making her life as easy as possible, she probably would give up custody and let my fiance and his parents raise the kids. The reason she fights with his parents so much is they want her to be more involved. My ex comes up with a million excuses because he's very empathetic to her mental health issues. But she's just making everyone's lives harder. She'd clearly be happier just giving up custody and living her life.

# ¿ Apr 11, 2024 20:26

Halloween Jack: Sep 12, 2003; I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

Lottery of Babylon posted:

Why does she say "my ex" a couple times? Did she forget halfway through writing this that she was still dating her fiance, or does she have an ex of her own who keeps chiming in with his opinions but is otherwise irrelevant?

From her comments, I'm sure "my ex" instead of "my fiancee" is just a mistake, but it's not surprising given that she's very very naive about the actual nature of their relationship.

# ¿ Apr 11, 2024 20:59

Halloween Jack: Sep 12, 2003; I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

Enemabag Jones posted:

One time when I was really little I ate a Cocoa Puff off the floor, because I was young and stupid and sugar was a rare treat.

I still remember what Ol' Roy dog food tastes like 30+ years later.

Be grateful your parents didn't keep bunny rabbits.

# ¿ Apr 12, 2024 17:04

Halloween Jack: Sep 12, 2003; I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

Shanghaied posted:

Also dad is a real piece of poo poo for not stopping this years ago. I hope in their old age they like having food smashed into their faces every time any of the kids come visit.

I can't imagine being him and having to explain the concept of comeuppance. I guess I'd just start with "Honey, you owned yourself" and go from there.

# ¿ Apr 12, 2024 20:57

Halloween Jack: Sep 12, 2003; I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

Chef Boyardeez Nuts posted:

Yeah my kids would hate being spoiled by a grateful aunt.

As someone who was lent out as a therapy animal as a child, gently caress off into the acid vat.

# ¿ Apr 13, 2024 15:26

Halloween Jack: Sep 12, 2003; I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

I am absolutely shocked that anime doesn�t appear to be a contributing factor.

So did these thought patterns manifest before, or after he got kicked in the head by his parents� horse?

Assuming that actually happened.

# ¿ Apr 14, 2024 18:38

Halloween Jack: Sep 12, 2003; I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

I have a calculator on my smartphone

# ¿ Apr 18, 2024 18:44

Halloween Jack: Sep 12, 2003; I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

Defiance Industries posted:

Boyfriend's [25M] watch kink has me [25F] feeling uncomfortable. What should I do?

Does any 25-year-old woman decide to wear a wristwatch to look more formal?

# ¿ Apr 18, 2024 18:48

Halloween Jack: Sep 12, 2003; I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

It's not embezzlement to spend less than your company's per diem and pocket the difference. But that's usually for food and toiletries and stuff.

I still don't understand how his company's policy works. It's normal to have a set budget for the trip. But IME flights and hotels are either purchased with company funds, or immediately reimbursed. I don't know how they have a policy where he can book a cheaper flight, pocket the difference in cash, and add it to his "petty cash" for traveling expenses. Setting aside that the specific airline wasn't approved, it sounds like a lovely policy.

# ¿ Apr 18, 2024 19:32

Halloween Jack: Sep 12, 2003; I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

Shanghaied posted:

I'm guessing something like:

Oh, that makes perfect sense. And yeah, it's embezzlement, no argument there. According to OP, the fact that the airline was unapproved is how the company is officially blaming them for everything. But it was a massively unprofessional firing offense regardless.

quote:

I got written up for not telling him which I know I deserve. I have so much so shame. He is telling everyone what happened and our boss, his boss and HR say he can�t get in trouble for telling people about an actual situation that happened to him. I know there is gossip about me and my weight. I�m ashamed I made such a dumb decision and that my weight has gotten so bad. I also shouldn�t have bought a cheaper airline ticket so I could have more petty cash for the trip. If I stayed with the original company approved airline none of this would have happened. I took a sick day today because I couldn�t face anyone st work but there is a meeting Monday I need to be there for and can�t miss. I�m so embarrassed. Even writing this here was hard and I couldn�t use my name.

I don't know why OP would mention this if they hadn't already tried to shift blame to the junior worker or shut him up about it. It also sounds like they're trying to create a narrative where it's all about them being shamed and ashamed about their weight and not the actual problem. The company is also being lovely:

quote:

My coworker did not accept my apology and per HR I�m no longer allowed to talk to him or �meddle� in the situation. He said he will come after me for the ticket because the company won�t pay him since I knowingly broke the company policy. I am ashamed at how I acted.

Yeah so the senior coworker who stranded you in another country isn't allowed to harass you anymore, but because they violated company policy, you're going to have to take them to small claims court to get your ticket home reimbursed.

# ¿ Apr 18, 2024 19:53

Halloween Jack: Sep 12, 2003; I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

I actually just hosted a guest speaker from a government agency that doesn't allow the host to reimburse their employees, and it makes the basic ethics around business travel a pain in the rear end. We have to take them to and from the airport because we can't reimburse them for a taxi, we have to host them for every meal because we can't reimburse them for meals, etc.

A weird thing about state/federal per diem rates is that domestic rates top out around $80 a day, but you get more for international travel. It's much cheaper to eat and drink in Milan or Florence than in NYC.

Halloween Jack fucked around with this message at 20:20 on Apr 18, 2024

# ¿ Apr 18, 2024 20:15

Halloween Jack: Sep 12, 2003; I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

Batterypowered7 posted:

Um, actually, if you don't spell it bourgeoisie then you're a filthy philistine.

Bourgeoisie is the class of people, bourgeois is the adjective describing the behavior that justifies their violent expropriation.

I hate it when people say �judgy.� The word is �judgmental.� Aw, was the waitwess all judgy-wudgy when you ordered chickie nuggies for your 40th birthday party?

# ¿ Apr 19, 2024 14:16

Halloween Jack: Sep 12, 2003; I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

ChickenOfTomorrow posted:

AITA for making fun of my friend for getting sloppy seconds?

Rugby festivals are an opportunity to get hosed up and gently caress fit people who share your interests. Anyone who gets judgmental about it should be cast into the outer darkness.

Dameius posted:

My (29F) Boyfriend (29M) keeps getting into fights with a cook at Waffle House

We finally have an answer to the question "What would Charles Bukowski have been like without the booze?"

# ¿ Apr 19, 2024 15:27

Halloween Jack: Sep 12, 2003; I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

drat, now I actually want to know what happens if you're on estrogen and you take a lot of zinc. That won't kill me or give me kidney stones or anything, right?

# ¿ Apr 19, 2024 16:27

Halloween Jack: Sep 12, 2003; I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

Pope Corky the IX posted:

I just like the word zinc. Riboflavin too.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SfIop2qLy0k

# ¿ Apr 19, 2024 16:34

Halloween Jack: Sep 12, 2003; I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

One morning as I was leaving for work, "High High Hopes" was on the radio when I turned the car on, so I switched it as fast as I could. I was about to drive off when my spouse came running out the front door and asked me if I was okay. I was like yeah, why? And they said "You were just screaming 'No, no, no' at the top of your lungs so I came to see what was wrong"

But they totally understood.

Qylvaran posted:

Also: r/relationships: Extinction-Lesbo Event

That's only if you try to drive after they throw the Jell-O shots at you. I was fine.

# ¿ Apr 19, 2024 18:37

Halloween Jack: Sep 12, 2003; I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

oh jay posted:

[32m] My wife [33f] will not shut up, and I'm not sure I can take it that much longer. Is it possible for that to be a reason to leave?

I remember this couple and I hate them. I hope their son gets speech therapy, and other therapy.

# ¿ Apr 19, 2024 20:56

Halloween Jack: Sep 12, 2003; I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

Scathach posted:

"Sexy times" sounds like it came from a married teenager in the Bible Belt.

# ¿ Apr 19, 2024 22:51

Halloween Jack: Sep 12, 2003; I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

Fil5000 posted:

British PSAs are their own specific horror genre.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VZzQDhYE2c0

# ¿ Apr 22, 2024 15:11

Halloween Jack: Sep 12, 2003; I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

wheatpuppy posted:

Does the son not realize that you are allowed to do that? If you don't like someone you aren't like, legally required to acquiesce to their every request.

Sure, she doesn't have to give the recipes away, but that's gatekeeping and it means she's a bad person. She's already gaslit half her extended family into ganging up on DIL!

# ¿ Apr 22, 2024 17:49

Halloween Jack: Sep 12, 2003; I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

It's important not to make yourself look even worse than the person who wronged you.

# ¿ Apr 22, 2024 18:29

Halloween Jack: Sep 12, 2003; I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

Actually, gatekeeping is when I want something and other people won't give it to me.

# ¿ Apr 22, 2024 18:33

Halloween Jack: Sep 12, 2003; I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

That kid is probably neurodivergent, but I get a little uncomfortable when people jump to the conclusion that any given trait is proof of neurodivergence. As a general rule, kids are bored by wedding ceremonies.

FMguru posted:

My favorite misappropriation of 'gatekeeping' was a few years ago, when the then-lead designer of Dungeons & Dragons posted that fans that weren't going out there and promoting the game and getting new players (i.e., doing unpaid marketing work for a giant corporation) were 'gatekeeping' the hobby.

Want to play a Warlord? That's gatekeeping.

Halloween Jack fucked around with this message at 18:55 on Apr 22, 2024

# ¿ Apr 22, 2024 18:51

Halloween Jack: Sep 12, 2003; I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

I'd say it's sad that any adult would spend their own wedding obsessing over what a random 11-year-old is doing, but that implies a degree of sympathy I don't feel.

# ¿ Apr 22, 2024 19:33

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ May 17, 2024 11:13

Halloween Jack: Sep 12, 2003; I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

When I was growing up there was no limit to what they'd do to scare you into not smoking. I had to listen to speeches given by men without jaws. I still remember one video where a fetus smokes a cigarette while "Also Sprach Zarathustra" blares in the background. They'd have locked us in a closet with Jeffrey Epstein if they thought it would stop us buying a pack of smokes.

# ¿ Apr 22, 2024 20:52

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: it sounds like I'm having sex with a parrot or malfunctioning robot

«‹›3 »