- deep dish peat moss
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A grumpy-looking old man in a custodial outfit carrying a mop and plunger in one hand and an orange bucket full of supplies and the words "Let's do this" spray-painted in white on the side in the other, walking through the apartment complex.
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Dec 10, 2015 17:35
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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Jun 5, 2024 19:11
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- deep dish peat moss
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Miffed old plumber has seen some poo poo...
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Dec 10, 2015 17:36
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- deep dish peat moss
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If you were to ask him how he remains so calm in the face of an overwhelming duty he would tell you about his three tours at the Peoria County Fair
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Dec 10, 2015 17:37
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- deep dish peat moss
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"I spent three years in The poo poo watching flies swarm what was left of my buddies, I'm still haunted by the agonizing groans and the stench of death. I don't deserve to be treated like this." he says, sternly, before throwing down his mop and bucket on Principal Browning's desk and resigning.
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Dec 10, 2015 17:41
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- alnilam
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Plumber's grandson gets a pet snake, and now every goddamn time grandpa comes over he gets that distant look and says "snakes?... Let me tell you a thing or two about snakes."
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Dec 10, 2015 17:47
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- Pot Smoke Phoenix
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Smoke 'em if you gottem!
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Theodore Anton Watson III had been through some tough times. He earned his stripes during his tour of duty as a Domestic Sanitation Engineer in a large apartment complex in the Bronx. You can see the stories in his eyes, the adventures he had fighting against the enemies of the people. He was a veteran of the Toilet Wars of 1983, the Great Oil Slick in the basement where 3 men and a sheep were attempting to film... something. "Ahahaha!" he would cackle, through the gaps where teeth once lived long ago in his smile, as he told you the story of how the ASPCA got involved side by side with the Feds in the investigtion. "Ayuh, them Feds came in wit dere fancy clothes and dere shiny badges, didn't matter not a one, still got dere cars up on cinder blocks and radios got stole, but dem feds ain't never done nuttin' about no pit bull fightin' in dat basement, no Suh!" The drains were clogged, and a job was a job- but those news folks sure were eager for a story!
Teddy wrestled refrigerators to patch holes in the walls behind them, wrangled sacks of trash to the incinerator to burn them and tackled blocked drains like a man born to it. He had the 100 yard stare of a man who had touched used diapers, with his bare hands...
https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4
Sig elements by Manifisto and Heather Papps
Sig File protected by SigLock. do NOT steal this sig!
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Dec 10, 2015 17:53
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- platonicbackrub
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A guy chasing a paper bag down the street but the wind is progressively blowing the bag further and further
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Dec 10, 2015 19:04
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- Piso Mojado
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the funniest thing ive ever seen was when I was drinking a coffee outside once and watched this guy running down the opposite sidewalk slip on a banana peel.
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Dec 10, 2015 19:09
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- posting smiling
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one really sad thing i saw when i was a child was an old man walking alone on the pier, looking out into the ocean. the wind blew up and knocked his hat off his head, and as he bent down to retrieve it, it blew again and swept the hat right under the railing and into the dark depths of the sea. then the man was just alone with no hat. it still makes me sad.
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Dec 10, 2015 20:19
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- deep dish peat moss
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one really sad thing i saw when i was a child was an old man walking alone on the pier, looking out into the ocean. the wind blew up and knocked his hat off his head, and as he bent down to retrieve it, it blew again and swept the hat right under the railing and into the dark depths of the sea. then the man was just alone with no hat. it still makes me sad.
I'm picturing this old man doing what I would do and trying to act cool and pretend I never had a hat in the first place, glancing around nervously so that if anyone saw some commotion and decoded to take a gander my way they might just think they saw my head moving out of the corner of their eye.
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Dec 11, 2015 01:29
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- Ace of Baes
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one really sad thing i saw when i was a child was an old man walking alone on the pier, looking out into the ocean. the wind blew up and knocked his hat off his head, and as he bent down to retrieve it, it blew again and swept the hat right under the railing and into the dark depths of the sea. then the man was just alone with no hat. it still makes me sad.
drat...right i n the feels
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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!
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Dec 11, 2015 15:47
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- drilldo squirt
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a beautiful, soft meat sack
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That's a good parable for life.
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Dec 12, 2015 23:56
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- Adiabatic
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What have you assholes done now?
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if you love something let it go and if it comes back it was meant to be
that old man was just making sure that was the right hat for him
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Dec 13, 2015 01:21
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- platonicbackrub
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if you love something let it go and if it comes back it was meant to be
that old man was just making sure that was the right hat for him
Yeah
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Dec 13, 2015 02:19
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- deep dish peat moss
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This thread went from puns about poop to making all of us feel bad about the mean-spirited nature of the universe.
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Dec 13, 2015 22:58
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- deep dish peat moss
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Just a funny thing I saw: God is dead and the universe hates us.
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Dec 13, 2015 22:58
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- deep dish peat moss
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Humanity is on the cusp of solving the climate change problem before the world freezes over and wipes us out when a giant alien walks by and shoots the planet with a freeze ray, just for fun. That's not fair, but it's just how this place feels about the world. Just a funny thing I saw, lol.
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Dec 13, 2015 23:00
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- deep dish peat moss
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Freddie Peavis is about to pull back the sheet to reveal his newest invention to the local fair in 1879, the light bulb, when lightning strikes and kills him. A young Thomas Edison seizes the opportunity, jumping up to the podium and yelling about how Mr. Peavis had stolen this brilliant new invention from him, and this is proof of God's vengeance. Young Thomas spins a yarn to the crowd about how the first-ever light bulb was invented in a cloud over his head, right after he first thought of the light bulb, and they all buy it. The rest is history. This isn't fair, but it is just a funny thing I saw.
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Dec 13, 2015 23:05
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- google THIS
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my grandpa saw a funny thing and it made him laugh so hard he fell out of the guard tower
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Dec 13, 2015 23:12
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- deep dish peat moss
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That's one of the biggest dangers of being a circus guard.
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Dec 13, 2015 23:13
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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Jun 5, 2024 19:11
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- drilldo squirt
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a beautiful, soft meat sack
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You should sue because I doubt those rails were high enough.
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Dec 13, 2015 23:18
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