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dogmother1776
Apr 16, 2016

There's a bomb in the box not Brad Pitt's wife's head. That's why Morgan Freeman calls for backup.

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JediTalentAgent
Jun 5, 2005
Hey, look. Look, if- if you screw me on this, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine, you rat bastard!
My personal favorite is that Forrest Gump is only thinks the things he recalls happened to him. In reality, he's confusing the real world for things he's seen seen on TV and stories he's been told, that's why he thinks he's been at the center of all those events in American history.


The only reason Batman isn't dead is that he's always unknowingly protected and given help by his ghost parents who are killing themselves (and they're already dead, so figure that out) trying to keep their son safe.

BirryJoru
Mar 21, 2012

GRAMAGEDDON ISN'T OVER YET. SORRY.-RA TEHUTI :smuggo::smug::smugdon::grin::parrot:

JediTalentAgent posted:

My personal favorite is that Forrest Gump is only thinks the things he recalls happened to him. In reality, he's confusing the real world for things he's seen seen on TV and stories he's been told, that's why he thinks he's been at the center of all those events in American history.

mind blown

Hector Beerlioz
Jun 16, 2010

aw, hec
People like to claim James Bond is a code word and the different actors are different people. Untrue. In On Her Majesty's Secret Service, Lazenby Bond ended up marrying Teresa who was then killed by Blofelt. During the opening of For Your Eyes only Moore Bond was seen laying flowers at the grave of Teresa Bond. The tombstone said, "we have all the time in the world", the name of a Ray Charles song played during On Her Majesty's Secret Service. James Bond is one person.

JediTalentAgent
Jun 5, 2005
Hey, look. Look, if- if you screw me on this, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine, you rat bastard!
Peter's Uncle Ben was actually a fence for stolen goods and the guy who shot him did so because he owed money to the Kingpin. Aunt May had to sign over a considerable part of his insurance policy to Fisk Enterprises to settle the debt and keep her and Peter safe.

504
Feb 2, 2016

by R. Guyovich

Hector Beerlioz posted:

People like to claim James Bond is a code word and the different actors are different people. Untrue. In On Her Majesty's Secret Service, Lazenby Bond ended up marrying Teresa who was then killed by Blofelt. During the opening of For Your Eyes only Moore Bond was seen laying flowers at the grave of Teresa Bond. The tombstone said, "we have all the time in the world", the name of a Ray Charles song played during On Her Majesty's Secret Service. James Bond is one person.

Plus they have flat out, plain and simple, often and openly said "No, its the same dude".

BirryJoru
Mar 21, 2012

GRAMAGEDDON ISN'T OVER YET. SORRY.-RA TEHUTI :smuggo::smug::smugdon::grin::parrot:
The Golden Girls
weren't actually girls

JediTalentAgent
Jun 5, 2005
Hey, look. Look, if- if you screw me on this, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine, you rat bastard!
The Terminator movies are actually tied into the Planet of the Apes films through the Forbin Project.

Hector Beerlioz
Jun 16, 2010

aw, hec

JediTalentAgent posted:

The Terminator movies are actually tied into the Planet of the Apes films through the Forbin Project.

I respect anyone who knows about Colossus

criscodisco
Feb 18, 2004

do it
Green Acres
Oliver is in the final stages of alcoholic psychosis. None of the crazy surreal poo poo actually happens, it's all in his head. That's why every single other character constantly calls him a drunk even though you never see him drink.

Hector Beerlioz
Jun 16, 2010

aw, hec

criscodisco posted:

Green Acres
Oliver is in the final stages of alcoholic psychosis. None of the crazy surreal poo poo actually happens, it's all in his head. That's why every single other character constantly calls him a drunk even though you never see him drink.

You just made me depressed

criscodisco
Feb 18, 2004

do it

Hector Beerlioz posted:

You just made me depressed

He didn't leave his wildly successful law practice, Lisa took him to the country to dry out. Watch a few episodes with that mindset and you'll see.

It's also why no one in town, even his wife, notice that anything is off when crazy poo poo happens. However every time he tells someone about the things that happen, they accuse him of being drunk.

Hector Beerlioz
Jun 16, 2010

aw, hec

criscodisco posted:

He didn't leave his wildly successful law practice, Lisa took him to the country to dry out. Watch a few episodes with that mindset and you'll see.

Please don't ruin Hooterville for me.

criscodisco
Feb 18, 2004

do it
I know it's hard it's one of my favorite shows but the truth hurts.

Ein cooler Typ
Nov 26, 2013

by FactsAreUseless
Robocop is Jesus isn't a fan theory; it's what the director intended

Paul Verhoeven confirms this in the dvd commentary

Hector Beerlioz
Jun 16, 2010

aw, hec

criscodisco posted:

I know it's hard it's one of my favorite shows but the truth hurts.

Next you'll be telling me the Robot from Lost in Space has been active for 10,000 years just living out fanciful daydreams of the long dead Robinsons & co.

criscodisco
Feb 18, 2004

do it

Hector Beerlioz posted:

Next you'll be telling me the Robot from Lost in Space has been active for 10,000 years just living out fanciful daydreams of the long dead Robinsons & co.

No, the advanced space family actually put a mincing pedophile in charge of childcare.

BirryJoru
Mar 21, 2012

GRAMAGEDDON ISN'T OVER YET. SORRY.-RA TEHUTI :smuggo::smug::smugdon::grin::parrot:
fans can theorize on what the director intended

okay?

Hector Beerlioz
Jun 16, 2010

aw, hec

criscodisco posted:

No, the advanced space family actually put a mincing pedophile in charge of childcare.

Dr. Smith went way over my head as a child. Someone asked June Lockhart if Smith was supposed to be gay and she said oh yeah super gay.

The Bananana
May 21, 2008

This is a metaphor, a Christian allegory. The fact that I have to explain to you that Jesus is the Warthog, and the Banana is drepanocytosis is just embarrassing for you.



Danger, boy Robinson!

shoophobo
Aug 30, 2013

"shoophobo? more like shittyposter!" :grin:

Fallen Rib
Link from The Legend of Zelda is actually a guy.

Smythe
Oct 12, 2003

JediTalentAgent posted:

The Terminator movies are actually tied into the Planet of the Apes films through the Forbin Project.

This.

BirryJoru
Mar 21, 2012

GRAMAGEDDON ISN'T OVER YET. SORRY.-RA TEHUTI :smuggo::smug::smugdon::grin::parrot:

yeah
pretty much

Zombiepop
Mar 30, 2010

I read all of this and now I need to play FF8 again, thanks!

BirryJoru
Mar 21, 2012

GRAMAGEDDON ISN'T OVER YET. SORRY.-RA TEHUTI :smuggo::smug::smugdon::grin::parrot:
Jar Jar Binks?

more like darth darth binks, dinks

BirryJoru
Mar 21, 2012

GRAMAGEDDON ISN'T OVER YET. SORRY.-RA TEHUTI :smuggo::smug::smugdon::grin::parrot:
Die Hard
john mcclane has a machine gun now

JediTalentAgent
Jun 5, 2005
Hey, look. Look, if- if you screw me on this, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine, you rat bastard!
The reason that every Mission: Impossible film has a different head of the agency is because they end up having to step down in disgrace over the events of the previous film for questioning the loyalty and ability of Tom Cruise's character.

Khazar-khum
Oct 22, 2008

:minnie: Cat Army :minnie:
2nd Battalion
Korean Fan Death
is real

BirryJoru
Mar 21, 2012

GRAMAGEDDON ISN'T OVER YET. SORRY.-RA TEHUTI :smuggo::smug::smugdon::grin::parrot:

Khazar-khum posted:

Korean Fan Death
is real

probably. I mean, that old lady died in a room with a fan running so, sure.
why not?


James Bond
007 is a codename

The Bananana
May 21, 2008

This is a metaphor, a Christian allegory. The fact that I have to explain to you that Jesus is the Warthog, and the Banana is drepanocytosis is just embarrassing for you.



BirryJoru posted:

James Bond
007 is a codename

No.

Egbert Souse
Nov 6, 2008

Rick fled from America to Casablanca because he wrote The Hut Sut Song

BirryJoru
Mar 21, 2012

GRAMAGEDDON ISN'T OVER YET. SORRY.-RA TEHUTI :smuggo::smug::smugdon::grin::parrot:
Suicide Squad
was overproduced with no clear vision from producers and edited to jarred poo poo

Ride The Gravitron
May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
Contact
It wasn't an alien, it was god.

BirryJoru
Mar 21, 2012

GRAMAGEDDON ISN'T OVER YET. SORRY.-RA TEHUTI :smuggo::smug::smugdon::grin::parrot:
Hitler
did nothing wrong

BirryJoru
Mar 21, 2012

GRAMAGEDDON ISN'T OVER YET. SORRY.-RA TEHUTI :smuggo::smug::smugdon::grin::parrot:

Volume posted:

Contact
It wasn't an alien, it was god.

Star Trek V
it wasn't god, it was an alien

JediTalentAgent
Jun 5, 2005
Hey, look. Look, if- if you screw me on this, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine, you rat bastard!
The reason that everyone who works for some variation of W-Y in the Aliens films are so dead set on getting the aliens for research is that a huge portion of humans have a similar racial memory to the xenomorphs.

In short, the Engineers hardwired us when we hit a certain level of technological advancement to seek out the xenomorphs as a means of self-destruction and propagation of the xenomorphs to any worlds we have touched.

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BirryJoru
Mar 21, 2012

GRAMAGEDDON ISN'T OVER YET. SORRY.-RA TEHUTI :smuggo::smug::smugdon::grin::parrot:
Life
it's a mystery

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