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boop the snoot
Jun 3, 2016
I started drinking again. Went to the bar last night. loving tab was $75 and I only had two tequila shots.

#MAGA

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SwampDonkey
Oct 13, 2006

by Smythe

(and can't post for 4 years!)

TBeats posted:

I started drinking again. Went to the bar last night. loving tab was $75 and I only had two tequila shots.

#MAGA

Was going to congratulate you on getting laid but then I remembered Viagra imports were halted by the EU.

FastestGunAlive
Apr 7, 2010

Dancing palm tree.

TBeats posted:

I started drinking again. Went to the bar last night. loving tab was $75 and I only had two tequila shots.

#MAGA

be careful- thats only 1 of 3 pieces of hispanic contraband needed to brand you an illegal, resulting in your immediate deportation

Kuroyama
Sep 15, 2012
no fucking Anime in GiP

bird food bathtub posted:

I'm...kinda doing...exactly that? No part of what I said is RARGH NOT MY PRESIDENT stuff, it's outlining something that I think is extremely likely to happen. That would be a good idea for dealing with everything to come wouldn't it?

I was playing at you posting that every few months between now and 2020.

Comrade Blyatlov
Aug 4, 2007


should have picked four fingers





Sergg posted:

Wrestlemania 41 was held in Washington DC. In the sweltering summer heat of yet another hottest year on record, Trump glistened with sweat-soaked, freakishly huge muscles. He was the size of a small elephant, his hands like meaty watermelons with foot-long fingers. The fingers flushed red as they wrapped around another wrestling opponent, launching him out of the ring like a ragdoll.

Surgeon General Carson marveled at the creation of his mad science as the wrestler smashed into the crowd near him, sending chairs and spectators catapulting into the air. He stared pitilessly at the wounded, their limbs twisted from the impact. "Always bring your Health Coupons to a WWF match." he quipped. The audience cheered and hooted. Carson had come to a solemn peace about his masterwork; the ultimate application of stem cells and genetic engineering. Press Secretary Sean Hannity issued denials against the rumors of unethical science experiments in the Trumphouse bunker, but the public couldn't help noticing that their president was "yuuuge."

As he beat his massive chest, Donald shouted "WHO BUILD WALL?!?!" to chants of "Trump! Trump!" from the audience. As the chanting continued, he bellowed "WHO TAKE IRAQ OIL!? WHO BAN MUSLIMS?!" While the roar of the crowd continued, one last wrestler was brought in. The event wouldn't be over until Trump did his signature move, "The Stump." The terrified bodybuilder was ushered into the ring; the behemoth in front of him reaching around to grab a Ford Focus by the axle, hoisting it aloft. The wrestler's last sight was the undercarriage of a car whooshing down through the air with dazzling speed. As always, the remains would be taken to the Protein Reclamation Vats for reprocessing.

It is every citizen's final duty to go into de tanks

Blind Rasputin
Nov 25, 2002

Farewell, good Hunter. May you find your worth in the waking world.

SwampDonkey posted:

Was going to congratulate you on getting laid but then I remembered Viagra imports were halted by the EU.

Did you hear about all the viagra that was stolen from the border office?

The cops don't know who did it, but they're pretty sure they are hardened criminals.

boop the snoot
Jun 3, 2016

Blind Rasputin posted:

Did you hear about all the viagra that was stolen from the border office?

The cops don't know who did it, but they're pretty sure they are hardened criminals.

Okay where did you hear this because lmao

bengy81
May 8, 2010

Blind Rasputin posted:

Subsidized time has been fun but, "the year of the Ivanka Trump Asymmetrical Walking Coat only sold at Macy's" just seems to be pushing it.

Also, the hamsters came back. That feral horde Continues to thunder eastward across pedalferrous terrain that still is fallow, denuded. Dimmed in that fulvous cloud the hamsters send up, is the vivid verdant ragged outline of the annularly overfertilized forests of what used to be central Maine. I miss Maine in the spring.

:golfclap:

I just read this party of the book last night, so I appreciate waking up and seeing this today.

US Berder Patrol
Jul 11, 2006

oorah
Does anybody know how the veterans preference for one of these maximum wage laborer jobs works?

The Rat
Aug 29, 2004

You will find no one to help you here. Beth DuClare has been dissected and placed in cryonic storage.

That only works if you volunteer to have your prosthetics replaced with heavy lifting equipment and power machinery.*



















*Other bonus and restrictions may apply in the veteran servitor program. See your local techpriest for disposal details.

The Rat fucked around with this message at 17:03 on Jan 27, 2017

bengy81
May 8, 2010
I still can't believe that even after building the wall, those "people" are jumping the border trying to get into Mexico. I mean it's fine, we don't need those types here anyhow.

Marshal Prolapse
Jun 23, 2012

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

bengy81 posted:

I still can't believe that even after building the wall, those "people" are jumping the border trying to get into Mexico. I mean it's fine, we don't need those types here anyhow.

Don't worry the new USPFL deployment should fix that problem once they finish their training at Liberty Island under Commissioner Hauk.

Kuroyama
Sep 15, 2012
no fucking Anime in GiP

DownByTheWooter posted:

Does anybody know how the veterans preference for one of these maximum wage laborer jobs works?

You managed to get out again?

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bengy81
May 8, 2010
Все града Лорд Emporer Новой Соединенных Штатов России Путина !!! Могу ли он заполнить мой суп миску с теплым бульоном снова на этой неделе!

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