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Petr
OK so this is basically like pretzels, except in flat cracker form. You can add spices or caraway seeds or poo poo to it, or sugar and cinnamon for a sweet version. The trick is to roll it REALLY thin. It's gonna rise more than you think in the oven, so it's gotta be thin as gently caress, almost translucent. You'll probably have to let the dough rest a bit and re-roll it a couple times.

1½ cups (6.75 ounces) unbleached bread flour

½ teaspoon (.13 ounce) salt

½ teaspoon (.055 ounce) instant yeast

1 tablespoon (.75 ounce) honey

1 tablespoon (.5 ounce) vegetable oil

⅓ to ½ cup (3 to 4 ounces) water, at room temperature

Poppy seeds, sesame seeds, paprika, cumin seeds, caraway seeds, or kosher salt for topping

1. In a mixing bowl, stir together the flour, salt, yeast, honey, oil, and just enough water to bring everything together into a ball. You may not need the full ½ cup water, but be prepared to use it all if needed.

2. Sprinkle some flour on the counter and transfer the dough to the counter. Knead for about 10 minutes, or until the ingredients are evenly distributed. The dough should pass the windowpane test and register 77° to 81°F. The dough should be firmer than French bread dough, but not quite as firm as bagel dough (what I call a medium-firm dough), satiny to the touch, not tacky, and supple enough to stretch when pulled. Lightly oil a bowl and transfer the dough to the bowl, rolling it around to coat it with oil. Cover the bowl with plastic wrap.

3. Ferment at room temperature for 90 minutes, or until the dough doubles in size. (You can also instead retard the dough overnight in the refrigerator immediately after kneading.)

4. Mist the counter lightly with spray oil and transfer the dough to the counter. Press the dough into a square with your hand and dust the top of the dough lightly with flour. Roll it out with a rolling pin into a paper-thin sheet about 15 inches by 12 inches. You may have to stop from time to time so that the gluten can relax. At these times, lift the dough from the counter and wave it a little, and then lay it back down. Cover it with a towel or plastic wrap while it relaxes. When it is the desired thinness, let the dough relax for 5 minutes. Line a sheet pan with baking parchment. Carefully lift the sheet of dough and lay it on the parchment. If it overlaps the edge of the pan, snip off the excess with scissors.

5. Preheat the oven to 350°F with the oven rack on the middle shelf. Mist the top of the dough with water and sprinkle a covering of seeds or spices on the dough (such as alternating rows of poppy seeds, sesame seeds, paprika, cumin seeds, caraway seeds, kosher or pretzel salt, etc.). Be careful with spices; a little goes a long way.

If you want precut crackers, use a pizza cutter (rolling blade), and cut diamonds or rectangles in the dough. You do not need to separate the pieces, as they will snap apart after baking. If you want to make shards, bake the sheet of dough without cutting it first.

5. Bake for 15 to 20 minutes, or until the crackers begin to brown evenly across the top (the time will depend on how thinly and evenly you rolled the dough).

6. When the crackers are baked, remove the pan from the oven and let them cool in the pan for about 10 minutes. You can then snap them apart or snap off shards and serve.

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Petr
It's for when you're BAKED

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

posting smiling
wash it down with crang.

Petr
?

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

Scaly Haylie

posting smiling posted:

wash it down with crang.

i'm gonna need a crang recipe

posting smiling

Lizard Wizard posted:

i'm gonna need a crang recipe

the crang recipe is in the crang thread

ron color posted:

crang:
4 cups water
1 cup unsweet crangberries or crangberry juice
1/2 cup a lemons juice
2 tsp apple cider vinegar

crangreal:
2 shots crang
shot of dry gin
part of a egg white
tbsp sugar powder
milk to taste or until it lookks really good

the naked gun:
2 parts crang
2 part oj
shot of vodka
oj usually shows up to make it. dont ask him about leslie nielsen

Scaly Haylie


when the crang just right

Goons Are Gifts

That purple leather combo rocks though.


mags

I am a congenital optimist.
one can of salmon

two cups of milk

one stick of butter

salt and pepper for taste

directions: combine ingredients in sauce pan, heat until boil while stirring often, remove from range and serve. salt and pepper to taste

paul_soccer12 posted:

everyone in the idf must die

(USER WAS PERMABANNED FOR THIS POST)
Robot Made of Meat

mister magpie posted:

one can of salmon

two cups of milk

one stick of butter

salt and pepper for taste

directions: combine ingredients in sauce pan, heat until boil while stirring often, remove from range and serve. salt and pepper to taste

You forgot the oyster crackers.


Thanks to Manifisto for the sig!

mags

I am a congenital optimist.

Robot Made of Meat posted:

You forgot the oyster crackers.

oops mods please add oyster crackers to recipe

paul_soccer12 posted:

everyone in the idf must die

(USER WAS PERMABANNED FOR THIS POST)
Scaly Haylie

I'm almost positive there's more than 2 cups of milk but ok

lmbo calrissian

i'm into fashion
men are my passion
how do we solve the problem of eating an unneccessarily high amt of carbs while trying to be stoner while trying to be a fitness person

lmbo calrissian

i'm into fashion
men are my passion

mister magpie posted:

oops mods please add oyster crackers to recipe

the spirit of this recipe continues to resonate. i'm humbled at each mention

myDad

ce n'est pas ma mère

lmbo calrissian posted:

the spirit of this recipe continues to resonate. i'm humbled at each mention


sig by vanisher™®

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FactsAreUseless

1 loaf WonderBread or Sara Lee

eat the loaf
eat it with your hands
slice by slice consume it all

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