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So far I've only really thought about mapping it out and finding the shortest route but it turns out this problem is NP complete so I must approacj it from another angle I know there's a big game here and a lot of people have expertise in this area, any tips for a novice? |
# ? May 6, 2018 19:19 |
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# ? May 21, 2024 14:58 |
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op, how many wigs / fake moustaches / pairs of sunglasses do you usually bring with u? |
# ? May 6, 2018 19:37 |
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Manifisto posted:op, how many wigs / fake moustaches / pairs of sunglasses do you usually bring with u? i was under the impression that the trick here just go to the clothes section and keep swapping hats and jackets, then returning them to their respective rack, but you know wigs and moustaches sunglasses these could all be very good additions -- maybe i carry them in a postal bag |
# ? May 6, 2018 20:50 |
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BrownianMotion posted:i was under the impression that the trick here just go to the clothes section and keep swapping hats and jackets, then returning them to their respective rack, but you know wigs and moustaches sunglasses these could all be very good additions -- maybe i carry them in a postal bag trying out different accents is good too "mon dieu, zis fromage looks tres deliciouse! eet ees free you say? sacre bleu!" |
# ? May 6, 2018 20:53 |
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yes but what about the other side of the problem, where there are so many different samples to get on a saturday that you can't possibly get all of them |
# ? May 6, 2018 20:55 |
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"excuse me, I'm don costco, I own this place. I need to get to the front of this line to check sample quality, I'll just be a moment, sorry for the inconvenience folks!" |
# ? May 6, 2018 21:07 |
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ok so, my brother and i have been discussing this & we've come up with a good plan: you really need a team for this sort of large-scale heist. we're talking about the big take, not some small-time five-sample grab and go. you're going to need people on the inside, demonstrators who are contracted by the big guys in corporate to show off some of those tiny weiners in barbecue sauce and weird pub cheese in a plastic tub that never needs refrigeration. you're going to also need someone in the pharmacy to stage a distraction so all the managers are over there, helping an elderly person with poor vision read every single line of the fine print before they sign for their prescriptions. i suggest your nana, or maybe someone's bubbe--maybe even a great-auntie, so long as they're trustworthy, vision impaired, very gentle and smell like lavender mothballs. you're going to need five minutes, and remember, that's all you're going to be able to get, unless nana has at least nine prescriptions for her bursitis, arthritis and any other -itses we olds get. you're going to need to bring your own ziploc bags, some wheelies--can't risk being caught on inline skates, because that would be embarrassing as heck--and a tote bag for your "groceries" because you're "saving the earth" and not taking every last cocktail shrimp on a stick they have on offer. plan goes as thus--you and your five closest pals arrive in pairs, using one costco membership per pair, because you can always bring a friend for free. stage it about a minute apart, none will be the wiser. rotate in a counter-clockwise round, hitting every sample stand, each of you getting a sample of what they have--then grab one of those cheap roasted chickens, check out (it's $5.95 before tax, so that's a heck of a deal and you can make meals for a week off of one, just do it), and meet back at the car. nana will still be filling prescriptions by the time you're out of the underpants and weird outdoor pavilion special order section, you'll have a feast fit for very small and not very hungry kings, and also maybe nana will take you out for ice cream afterward. good luck. don't get caught. and for gods' sakes, no more of that awful salsa, it gives me heartburn.
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# ? May 7, 2018 04:15 |
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just cry
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# ? May 7, 2018 04:27 |
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[sobbing, snot running from my nose] can i please have another peice of peppermint bark my [INSERT RELATIVE HERE] just died. it was their favorite food. its like eating a little piece of them
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# ? May 7, 2018 04:28 |
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you also wont get kuru this way.
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# ? May 7, 2018 04:29 |
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im sorry i think i ended up missing the point of the thread
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# ? May 7, 2018 04:29 |
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Manifisto posted:"excuse me, I'm don ftfy |
# ? May 7, 2018 07:50 |
if a stack of dogs in a trenchcoat can do it, so can you
paul_soccer12 posted:everyone in the idf must die |
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# ? May 7, 2018 16:02 |
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The trick is to steal a uniform and bring in your own table and portable grill. Then just sit there all day preparing whatever you want. |
# ? May 7, 2018 20:31 |
WindmillSlayer posted:[sobbing, snot running from my nose] can i please have another peice of peppermint bark my [INSERT RELATIVE HERE] just died. it was their favorite food. its like eating a little piece of them lol ---------------- |
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# ? May 7, 2018 23:11 |
find a magic lamp and make a wish, duh
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# ? May 7, 2018 23:12 |
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costco sample speedrunners usually use an exploit where you stand behind the sample person and spam the 'wrong shoulder tap' move, dodging left and right grabbing a sample on each move. you can clear a platter in under 30 seconds if your timing is good and your speedeating skill is maxed |
# ? May 10, 2018 21:20 |
Grab one of the giant bags of Doritos, discreetly open up one edge of it, and slip samples inside. If you're asked why you're coming back for seconds, thirds, sixths, whatever, just shrug. Costco employees are trained to not provoke or upset the wildlife. I've heard people have managed to sneak out the equivalent's worth of plates of ravioli, spring rolls, cheesecake, sausage, and flat screen TVs this way. ---------------- |
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# ? May 10, 2018 21:54 |
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Why hasn't anyone said the obvious and use the Jedi mind trick! Me *waving hand and waggling fingers*: I haven't been here before. Costco Employee: Uh, yes you have... Me *waggling fingers more desparately*: I said I haven't been here before to sample the awesome yummyness! Costco Employee: Go ahead and take whatever you want, I don't care- here, I'll eat a few *gobbles down some bacon-wrapped goodies* See? Me: I can't believe that actually worked! *grabbing many bacon-wrapped goodies and stuffing them in the pockets inside of my pockets* https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
# ? May 10, 2018 21:56 |
Yes, I would like a taquito.
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# ? May 10, 2018 22:13 |
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# ? May 21, 2024 14:58 |
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Zeluth posted:Yes, I would like a taquito. |
# ? May 10, 2018 22:40 |