Wario has turned his life around...

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Putty: HOOKED ON THE BROTHERS

Wario has turned away from his devilish ways to have a more wholesome and good life.

He doesn't antagonize the mario brothers anymore at tennis tournaments. He doesn't scam his friends Dr. Cyborg, Jimmy, or Mona Pizza anymore. He stays away from all forms of garlic. He now wears business casual clothes and goes to work daily at his local temp agency where he pursues part-time opportunities in data entry and sometimes construction. He is still fat but he makes sure to brush his teeth, shower, and comb his hair daily.

# ? Jul 14, 2018 00:13

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# ? May 16, 2024 22:45

Areola Grande: it's a free country u pervs

waluigi doing community service at the ymca

# ? Jul 14, 2018 01:06

ferroque

Jimmy T. did not appreciate being scammed.

# ? Jul 14, 2018 01:36

cda: by Hand Knit

Wario is in therapy. Wario went to a retreat.

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Jul 14, 2018 03:27

Scaly Haylie

Still wears the hard hat, though.

# ? Jul 14, 2018 03:48

FutonForensic

"hey wario, get over here! the foreman ordered some papa John's"

"No a-thanks, I'm-a on a diet"

"and he got extra g a r l i c dipping sauce"

G-garlic? One dip couldn't hurt...

# ? Jul 14, 2018 06:16

MockingQuantum

Wario putting his mad motorcycle skills to work by riding into the gymnasium at various middle school assemblies, talking straight truth to those kids about the dangers of obesity through retellings of his battles with Captain Syrup

_{_{_{thank you luvcow for the sig}}}

# ? Jul 14, 2018 06:18

FutonForensic

Mona reached under the car seat for her dropped phone, when her hand brushed across something papery. Candy wrappers? she thought. I told that man to lay off the sweets.

What Mona pulled out wasn't a wrapper-- not for a candy anyway. To anyone else, it meant something sweet and spicy, but to her, it was all too bitter.

hey guuuys, i hope you are enjoying the fic ill be busy with exams this month but i promise there'll be more hurt/comfort to come!!! XOXOXO

# ? Jul 14, 2018 06:32

Putty: HOOKED ON THE BROTHERS

Putty fucked around with this message at 22:33 on Jul 14, 2018

# ? Jul 14, 2018 22:31

treasure bear

wario is old mario, when theres a mario and wario thats actually wario/mario's son mario junior

# ? Jul 14, 2018 23:38

Jedrick: There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. Some kind of high-powered mutant never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die.
Smoke weed every day.

Wario begins a pilgrimage to museums from all the countries he stole ancient treasure from.

# ? Jul 16, 2018 16:08

Putty: HOOKED ON THE BROTHERS

Think Waluigi turned his life around? Wrong. He now wears a greaser jacket over his overalls, adonishes crooked black sunglasses, and vapes motor oil. He is wanted by the police for eating Toadette, who he mistook for a poison mushroom.

Think this is because Wario left him? Have you seen the WarioWare games? He didn't even know Waluigi existed, and that might have been the trigger.

# ? Jul 16, 2018 17:30

joke_explainer

He walked out of Dr. Mario's office in a hazy fugue. He had been fatigued, yes, even grabbing coins was leaving him exhausted, but he never imagined it was this bad. He got into his Honda Civic and was soon driving down the highway, not even sure which direction he was going. Day turned to night and eventually he pulled over next to a cliffside, parking and sitting next to the sounds of the ocean slapping the cliffs. He never thought he had a problem, but then he remembered what he looked like as a young man; his nose wasn't a hideous purple bulb, his abdomen wasn't swollen with accumulated fluid from liver damage. He threw his flask into the ocean after staring at it for five whole minutes.

Gazing up at the stars with tears in his eyes, he was determined to turn his life around, even if it didn't mean for very long. "Wah...", he said. "Wah! Waaaah!" He could beat this, like he beat the odds to become a competitive go-kart racer at his weight. The people of Wario Land depended on him for... something. He'd figure out a way to not just survive, but to thrive, and to be the kind of person his parents would have wanted him to be.

# ? Jul 17, 2018 05:18

FactsAreUseless

This is Wario's canon origin story:

# ? Jul 17, 2018 05:33

Starman Super DX: This title text is surprisingly sturdy.

FactsAreUseless posted:

This is Wario's canon origin story:

wow mario's kind of a rude dickhead

Tell me more!
btw ty Birdcon for the sweet spring sig

# ? Jul 17, 2018 05:34

FactsAreUseless

Starman Super DX posted:

wow mario's kind of a rude dickhead

Mario is a fucker. He's poo poo!!!! I heard he hosed Captain Syrup, Wario's girlfriend!!!!!

# ? Jul 17, 2018 05:35

ferroque

FactsAreUseless posted:

This is Wario's canon origin story:

you can unlock a sheriff minigame in warioware so wario can pretend to be an rear end in a top hat sheriff as much as he wants

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5HbcEe0WXms

# ? Jul 17, 2018 06:31

krampster2

Wario's recovery was going so well. But then he got an internet connection and stumbled across the erotic fan fiction written about him. Now he is in back in rehab.

# ? Jul 18, 2018 12:20