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Barking Gecko posted:You're welcome. *coming towards you, dressed as a mailbox* Hey buddy, boss sent you a memo as he forgot that we are not exactly into reading those, so he now sent me to tell you that you are being promoted and earned a raise. Keep up the good work!! Now, as byob incorporated chill officer, would you mind lighting that joint for me? I can't reach my face in this. |
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Mar 12, 2019 12:27
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To: All Employees From: HR Department Re: Mandatory Drug Testing It has regretfully come to our conclusion that some of our employees have decided to behave irresponsibly by smoking ditch weed, shake, and "this old baggie that my cousin Carl found in his van", rather than prime sticky buds. Please bring your stash to HR to be tested for potency, efficacy, and good loving vibes that will simultaneously blow your world apart and let you know everything is totally okay. Employees found smoking leaf will not be punished, but will be sent to a mandatory training on selecting good weed.
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Mar 12, 2019 20:54
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*wearing a blinky hat with lots of weed symbols on it, in the background there are more people wearing and doing weird things* Sir, it appears someone photoshopped everyone while being too high to Photoshop, now it became reality. Half of our staff is now part of byob the font, the other half is wearing weird hats and is followed by amazingly made and funny looking sigs below their feet. I tried to contact HR about this but the phones were photoshopped into massive amounts of pizza. What shall we do now?
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Mar 16, 2019 13:03
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Goons Are Great posted:*wearing a blinky hat with lots of weed symbols on it, in the background there are more people wearing and doing weird things* Eat the phones, chief
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Mar 16, 2019 18:43
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watho posted:*comes in to work 7.5 hours late and immediately falls asleep at my desk* I think a promotion is in order |
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Mar 17, 2019 22:10
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SciFiDownBeat posted:I think a promotion is in order The board officially confirmed this and sent him the letter four days ago. Sadly we didn't have any regular paper anymore and wrote it on a ton of joint papes, now we have a theory why it never reached him, despite the guys in the mail department being so happy lately.
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Mar 17, 2019 22:21
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Send him smoke signals bruh
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Mar 18, 2019 00:12
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hamjobs posted:Send him smoke signals bruh We did try that, but everyone kinda forgot what we are trying to do in the process of setting it up. 
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Mar 18, 2019 02:40
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*speaker announcement with quite some disturbance noises in the background* Good morning folks, first off, we managed to get our speaker system installed. Whoever did it, thank you, we would like to thank you personally but we honestly cannot remember even ordering it, but we are very sure you did an amazing job. Next up, due to something that came up, we have to address the situation real quick: Please refrain from advertising for BYOB Inc. as an employer by walking through the streets downtown, offering lit joints and super hot chicken wings to literally every living being that passes you. Not that it wouldn't be charming way to introduce others to what we do, but we got so many applications from people who seem too high to apply that our HR department now needs to actually do some work, which, as I hear, is impossible, as they are too high to work. *clearly chewing* Unused chicken wings can be brought to office and be shared with everyone. If you want one and did not yet get one, you can come to the speaker announcement office. No, sorry, I can't tell you where it is, I don't know either. I don't even know how I got here in the first place. This is a one-way-speaker system, so no, I did not hear you ask for where it is. I just assumed someone would ask that by asking the speaker. Thanks for listening, have an amazing work day or night today, remember to cash in your checks, there's a chicken wing discount in the pizza shop nearby. Yeah, probably!
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Mar 23, 2019 13:34
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*Was. BYOB was a successful corporation. |
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Mar 23, 2019 14:50
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Nah it's fine, we got so many investors heavily investing all the investments, our profit margin is currently at exactly 607, also our revenue generated sky rocketed to as much as 4, while costs went down to &, as finance department says. Everyone gets a raise!!
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Mar 23, 2019 15:07
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