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The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > BYOB Goldmine: Gold Mango > itt we're general contractors explaining why we need another $1000
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Queen-Of-Hearts

"I want to break your heart💔 and give you mine🫀"




 The extra grand? Thats my Colonel Equivalent Consulting Fee.

* # ? Nov 15, 2019 15:56
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# ? May 4, 2024 20:15
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Escape From Noise

 See these dovetail joints used real European turtledove. Not cheap. We thought you deserved the best. Sure, the price point is higher but it's just suck a step up from pigeon.

* # ? Nov 15, 2019 16:00
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Queen-Of-Hearts

"I want to break your heart💔 and give you mine🫀"




 Look normally we don't do this, but you seemed like nice enough newlyweds.
We only charged material cost for the slide AND genuine Charles Entertainment Cheese Ball-Crawl Experience™.

I know you didn't ask for it. We're trying to do you a favor here! Whattsa matter? You don't like when someone does you a favor?
Now cough up the extra grand!
That's a real nice ball-crawl. Be a cryin' shame if something were to uh... happen to it. Capiche?


:h: sig by Prof. Crocodile:h:
:byodame:BYOB spells: Mutually Assured Kindness:byodame:

* # ? Nov 15, 2019 16:51
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FutonForensic

 well, we didn't find any problems with the house, so--wait, this stone *sniffs countertop* Fool's Granite! your whole house is a goddamned time bomb! run! flee, you gently caress!!


* # ? Nov 15, 2019 18:52
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vanisher

FutonForensic posted:

well, we didn't find any problems with the house, so--wait, this stone *sniffs countertop* Fool's Granite! your whole house is a goddamned time bomb! run! flee, you gently caress!!
* # ? Nov 15, 2019 20:21
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nut

 ya i gotta hire a new general, i was stalking our last one's twitter and foun some very problematic hot takes

* # ? Nov 15, 2019 20:45
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Jaguars!


 We had a safety meeting and do you realize how dangerous some of these tools are? We've isolated the hammer until a bomb disposal robot can get to it and we're mitigating the rest of the risks by not doing anything.

* # ? Nov 15, 2019 21:47
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canyoneer


I only have canyoneyes for you
 there should have been an asterisk on the bid that says "crew labor not included"

i didn't realize that paying the guys was not optional

* # ? Nov 15, 2019 22:17
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Twenty Four


 "Yeah, gonna need another thousand bucks over here. What, no, not Mister Contractor, that's General Contractor to you, I didn't serve all that time the Army to be called mister you filthy tenant!"

* # ? Nov 16, 2019 07:27
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# ? May 4, 2024 20:15
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bradzilla

 What's that? You think stairs don't need to be insulated?

Let me tell you about a pioneer named Grover...

* # ? Nov 16, 2019 15:54
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The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > BYOB Goldmine: Gold Mango > itt we're general contractors explaining why we need another $1000
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