What if in LOTR they had guns instead of swords

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DOPE FIEND KILLA G

i dont think either mary nor pippin should be allowed guns. imho. they're too wily.

# ? Feb 12, 2020 18:59

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# ? Apr 29, 2024 10:18

Heather Papps: hello friend

SweetWillyRollbar posted:

See this is why I hate this Harry Potter/LOTR influx. I haven't really read either of these since I was in junior high and fans really care about these things

FRIENDSHIP WITH SWR ENDED

WHOEVER READS OLD BOOKS IS MY BEST FRIEND NOW

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Feb 12, 2020 19:06

Escape From Noise

I just haven't read them lately. That's all I meant. Geeze.

Thank you Pot Smoke Pheonnix for this Kickin' Rad sig

# ? Feb 12, 2020 19:08

Heather Papps: hello friend

SweetWillyRollbar posted:

I just haven't read them lately. That's all I meant. Geeze.

i am so mad

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Feb 12, 2020 19:09

Escape From Noise

Heather Papps posted:

i am so mad

I guess someone who desperately clings to the dead medium of print media would be

Thank you Pot Smoke Pheonnix for this Kickin' Rad sig

# ? Feb 12, 2020 19:13

Heather Papps: hello friend

SweetWillyRollbar posted:

I guess someone who desperately clings to the dead medium of print media would be

brb tossing my desktop out a window,

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Feb 12, 2020 19:18

Yinlock

i just really love the idea of tolkein being a lowkey hardcore gun-nut who goes off on weird specific tangents during his prose

As Frodo marveled at the majestic waterfalls of Rivendell and the ancient elven magics that gave the city an ethereal glow, he saw several elves performing maintenance on their Baretta 21A Bobcats, The Beretta 21A Bobcat is available chambered for either .22 LR or .25 ACP (6.35 mm) ammunition. It has a simple blowback operation, with a single- and double-action trigger mechanism, and exposed hammer. It has a magazine release button in the left side grip, located between the grip retaining screws. The frame is made out of aluminum alloy; the slide and barrel are either carbon steel or

# ? Feb 12, 2020 19:21

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

Meanwhile in the town of Lakeville, a guy named Brad just noscoped Smoog the dragon

# ? Feb 12, 2020 19:23

xcheopis

albany academy posted:

*-----------------* |YOU SHALL NOT PASS!| *-----------------* \ | \|

I laughed out loud on public transit.

# ? Feb 12, 2020 19:30

biosterous

sam crying at the gates of moria, because bill the bmp will not fit and they have to leave it behind

^{^{thank you saoshyant for this sig!!!}}
^{^{gallery of sigs}}

he/him

# ? Feb 12, 2020 20:10

biosterous

the 3000-lumen taclight of galadriel

^{^{thank you saoshyant for this sig!!!}}
^{^{gallery of sigs}}

he/him

# ? Feb 12, 2020 20:14

Heather Papps: hello friend

a 3 page poem about ammo variants, and then a 20 page appendix about the invention of barrel rifling

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Feb 12, 2020 20:17

Yinlock

"he lies to you my liege, he wants your clips" whispered Wormtongue

"IT'S CALLED A MAGAZINE" thundered Galdalf

# ? Feb 12, 2020 21:19

Yinlock

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:

Meanwhile in the town of Lakeville, a guy named Brad just noscoped Smoog the dragon

the uruk begin to charge at helms' deep

gimli somberly intoned the ancient dwarven battle prayer: "mom get the camera"

"oh baby a triple" responded legolas, saying an ancient elven prayer in return

# ? Feb 12, 2020 21:25

Heather Papps: hello friend

gimli decapitates an orc, turns to legolas and begins to shout "fi-

MMMMMMMONSTER KILLLLLLLL

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Feb 12, 2020 21:29

The Klowner: by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

alnilam posted:

aragorn goes down to the basement in rivendell to behold the shards of narsil, the ancient weapong of his ancestors now in pieces

e: actually just pretend I quoted the entire thread

# ? Feb 12, 2020 21:29

xcheopis

The Clowner posted:

e: actually just pretend I quoted the entire thread

Essentially, yes.

# ? Feb 12, 2020 21:41

Kaiser Schnitzel: Schnitzel mit uns

The ancient dwarven warcry of � Baruk Khaz�d! Khaz�d ai-m�nu!� has often been translated as �Axes of the Dwarves! The Dwarves are upon you!� But this actually results from a mistake in the transcription of the original manuscript. Tolkien actually wrote �AK�s of Dwarves! The Dwarves are upon you!�

Just a neat lil� Tolkien fact I thought I�d share

https://i.imgur.com/R8ctked.mp4
ty Manifisto for this wonderful sig!

# ? Feb 12, 2020 23:30

Nosfereefer: IF YOU FIND THIS POSTER OUTSIDE BYOB, PLEASE RETURN THEM. WE ARE VERY WORRIED AND WE MISS THEM

one doesn't simply blast into mordor guns akimbo

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# ? Feb 12, 2020 23:35

Nosfereefer: IF YOU FIND THIS POSTER OUTSIDE BYOB, PLEASE RETURN THEM. WE ARE VERY WORRIED AND WE MISS THEM

the twist is, they do precisely that.

wearing sunglasses.

at night.

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# ? Feb 12, 2020 23:36

take the moon: by sebmojo

legolas firing round after round off his tactiscoped sniper rifle clearly not reloading

# ? Feb 12, 2020 23:45

alnilam

take the moon posted:

legolas firing round after round off his tactiscoped sniper rifle clearly not reloading

Legolas firing a single shotter and reloading after each shot with incredible speed and perfect precision

# ? Feb 12, 2020 23:46

alnilam

Aragon bursts onto old weathertop dual wielding a flamethrower and a submachine gun, to save his friends from the black riders

# ? Feb 12, 2020 23:47

take the moon: by sebmojo

gimli furiously spawncamping trying to match legolas' k/d ratio

# ? Feb 12, 2020 23:52

wearing a lampshade

Boromir going out in a hail of bullets ala platoon

# ? Feb 13, 2020 00:08

Finger Prince

alnilam posted:

Legolas firing a single shotter and reloading after each shot with incredible speed and perfect precision

He absolutely no-scopes a bolt action sniper rifle to great effect.

# ? Feb 13, 2020 00:09

wearing a lampshade

Finger Prince posted:

He absolutely no-scopes a bolt action sniper rifle to great effect.

Legolas bunny hopping, no scope awp, solos de_dust2

# ? Feb 13, 2020 00:10

biosterous

frodo buys armor (without telling the rest of the team), leading to him not dying in a critical round in de_moria2

^{^{thank you saoshyant for this sig!!!}}
^{^{gallery of sigs}}

he/him

# ? Feb 13, 2020 00:13

Pot Smoke Phoenix: Smoke 'em if you gottem!

Elrond: those aren�t Moon letters, those are serial numbers.

Bilbo: Whatever are serial numbers?

Elrond: they were written for the Gondolin Wars, when the Feds were trying to go after our guns.

Bilbo: So conspiracy theorists?

Elrond: the same.

# ? Feb 13, 2020 00:40

Fredrik1: Gopherslayer

slightly modified one of my old photoshops

# ? Feb 13, 2020 00:41

Pot Smoke Phoenix: Smoke 'em if you gottem!

Sauron: oh, look! It�s Isildur, with his stupid band of men and Elves and a stupid sword that�s just gonna break!

Isildur: Read the thread, bitch! **pulls out a Desert Eagle** KLA-POW! **shoots off Sauron�s fingat** KA-PLOW! **shoots the One Ring into Mount Doom** KLA-PLOW! **shoots Sharon in the head before he could be unmade after the One Ring is melted** That one�s for Pops!

Elrond: that�s dark, kid. I like it!

https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4
_{_{Sig elements by Manifisto and Heather Papps}}
Sig File protected by SigLock. do NOT steal this sig!

# ? Feb 13, 2020 00:44

DOPE FIEND KILLA G

Pot Smoke Phoenix posted:

Sauron: oh, look! It�s Isildur, with his stupid band of men and Elves and a stupid sword that�s just gonna break!

Isildur: Read the thread, bitch! **pulls out a Desert Eagle** KLA-POW! **shoots off Sauron�s fingat** KA-PLOW! **shoots the One Ring into Mount Doom** KLA-PLOW! **shoots Sharon in the head before he could be unmade after the One Ring is melted** That one�s for Pops!

Elrond: that�s dark, kid. I like it!

lmao

# ? Feb 13, 2020 00:48

wearing a lampshade

Pot Smoke Phoenix posted:

Sauron: oh, look! It’s Isildur, with his stupid band of men and Elves and a stupid sword that’s just gonna break!

Isildur: Read the thread, bitch! **pulls out a Desert Eagle** KLA-POW! **shoots off Sauron’s fingat** KA-PLOW! **shoots the One Ring into Mount Doom** KLA-PLOW! **shoots Sharon in the head before he could be unmade after the One Ring is melted** That one’s for Pops!

Elrond: that’s dark, kid. I like it!

# ? Feb 13, 2020 00:53

wearing a lampshade

DOPE FIEND KILLA G posted:

lmao

# ? Feb 13, 2020 00:54

Yinlock

Pot Smoke Phoenix posted:

Sauron: oh, look! It�s Isildur, with his stupid band of men and Elves and a stupid sword that�s just gonna break!

Isildur: Read the thread, bitch! **pulls out a Desert Eagle** KLA-POW! **shoots off Sauron�s fingat** KA-PLOW! **shoots the One Ring into Mount Doom** KLA-PLOW! **shoots Sharon in the head before he could be unmade after the One Ring is melted** That one�s for Pops!

Elrond: that�s dark, kid. I like it!

# ? Feb 13, 2020 02:48

alnilam

when they're getting avalanched in the mountains but instead of magic sauromon is just shooting artillery cannons at the mountains like they do irl to induce avalanches did you know thatdid you know it's someone's job irl to shoot a freaking howitzer at mountainsides to make a controlled avalance happen so it doesn't build up to dangerous avalanche levels

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