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Computer. Set bidet to 'enema'. |
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Mar 13, 2020 18:18
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| # ? Apr 29, 2024 17:34 |
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hi i bought an arduino clone to control the pressure of my triple king ASP solutions type 3 bidet down to the tenth of a psi but i am finding that there is no single setting ideal for each day. could this be an issue with the city water? i am wondering if a dedicated cistern for bidet use might be the next logical step.
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Mar 13, 2020 18:27
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cda posted:my compliments to the chef, this is the bidet of steaks
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Mar 13, 2020 18:36
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Heather Papps posted:could this be an issue with the city water? i am wondering if a dedicated cistern for bidet use might be the next logical step. Hi Heather. I've ran into a lot of issues with city ordinances i.r.t. constructing personal reservoirs. You may want to consider relocating to a completely unincorporated zone, or, if you're really serious about pressure & volume, setting up an offshore facility with a desalination system
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Mar 13, 2020 19:47
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"My other car is a bidet" bumper sticker |
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Mar 13, 2020 19:52
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"My other bidet is a car" tattooed on my butt. |
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Mar 13, 2020 19:54
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FutonForensic posted:Hi Heather. I've ran into a lot of issues with city ordinances i.r.t. constructing personal reservoirs. You may want to consider relocating to a completely unincorporated zone, or, if you're really serious about pressure & volume, setting up an offshore facility with a desalination system i have been considering an offshore platform in the arctic for a few years, but it may be time to finally flush the toilet, as it were! also, is it possible that the phases of the moon are affecting my bodies needs vis a vis pressure? i am considering that despite my meals'n'movements, (MNMs), being extremely regular outside conditions may be the reason for my inability to find a singular pressure that works in all circumstance
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Mar 13, 2020 20:01
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Heather Papps posted:also, is it possible that the phases of the moon are affecting my bodies needs vis a vis pressure? Like many bidet enthusiasts, I have long contemplated the destruction of the moon. The only available workaround is to use MySecretSplash93's custom bidet API that can sync your unit to lunar cycles. Unfortunately, the latest release conflicts with rectalTyphoon's API that adjusts pressure based on proximity to the equinoxes.
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Mar 13, 2020 21:03
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Heather Papps posted:hi i bought an arduino clone to control the pressure of my triple king ASP solutions type 3 bidet down to the tenth of a psi but i am finding that there is no single setting ideal for each day. What kind of piping are you using? My house had cheap, flexible 3/4 inch PEX lines installed when I moved in, and a 2 inch inlet from the main. Hard piping is suggested for minimum vibrational disturbances in the supply flow, so I considered a re-pipe in 2 inch copper with a new 4 inch inlet which would increase pressure and eliminate vibration. After weighing the pros and cons, I opted for a team of water-bearers to deliver fresh spring water to a large continuous flow pump operated by treadmill. It's amazing! There's nothing like taking a dump and knowing you've got a team of dedicated professionals behind you. |
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Mar 13, 2020 21:19
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GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:"My other car is a bidet" bumper sticker |
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Mar 13, 2020 23:15
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On my bidet now. AMA |
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Mar 14, 2020 01:15
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SweetWillyRollbar posted:On my bidet now. AMA what's it like not paying proper attention to your bidet experience?
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Mar 14, 2020 01:22
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SweetWillyRollbar posted:On my bidet now. AMA can you draw a dragon? also what's the buttfeel like? lots of posts in this thread leaving out this very important category!
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Mar 14, 2020 01:33
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Heather Papps posted:what's it like not paying proper attention to your bidet experience? It's called multitasking. Maybe you should look it up? biosterous posted:can you draw a dragon? Like a warm, violent kiss from the angels themselves |
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Mar 14, 2020 02:29
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Door to door bidet salesman rings doorbell and drops trou in front of the bidet toilet he's been lugging around all day. Gotta make that sale! |
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Mar 14, 2020 02:30
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*Sees co-worker browsing TUSHI* "loving casuals." |
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Mar 14, 2020 02:33
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Bideeeeet You saw me standing alone Without a turd in my fart Without a bowl of my own |
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Mar 14, 2020 02:36
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SweetWillyRollbar posted:Bideeeeet
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Mar 14, 2020 02:45
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This thread is so funny, Mr. Dick just fell off his bidet laughing at it. He's alright though, the stream from his nipple bidet kept him upright.
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Mar 14, 2020 02:48
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gently caress you! That's my name! You know why, mister? You drove a TUSHI to get here. I drove an eleven hundred dollar TOTO Washlet. THAT'S my name. And your name is you're wiping. You can't play in the man's game, you can't clean them - go home and tell your wife your troubles. Because only one thing counts in this life: Get them to clean on the line which is cleft. You hear me, you loving assholes? A-B-C. A-Always, B-Bidet, C-Clean. Always bidet clean. ALWAYS BIDET CLEAN. A-I-D-A. Anus, Immaculate, Directed, Action. Anus - Do you have an anus? Immaculate - Is it immaculate? I hope it is, 'cause it's poo poo or get off the pot. You poo poo or you hit the bricks. Directed - Have you told them the stream is directed for Christ? And Action. A-I-D-A. Get out there - you got the prospects coming in. You think they came in to get out of the rain? A guy don't pop a squat on the john unless he wants to bidet. They're sitting out there waiting to clean their buttocks. Are you gonna take it? Are you man enough to take it?
Escape From Noise fucked around with this message at 05:28 on Mar 14, 2020 |
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Mar 14, 2020 03:08
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SweetWillyRollbar posted:gently caress you! That's my name! You know why, mister? You drove a TUSHI to get here. I drove an eleven hundred dollar TOTO Washlet. THAT'S my name. And your name is you're wiping. You can't play in the man's game, you can't clean them - go home and tell your wife your troubles. Because only one thing counts in this life: Get them to clean on the line which is cleft. You hear me, you loving assholes? A-B-C. A-Always, B-Bidet, C-Clean. Always bidet clean. ALWAYS BIDET CLEAN. A-I-D-A. Anus, Immaculate, Directed, Action. Anus - Do you have an anus? Immaculate - Is it immaculate? I hope it is, 'cause it's poo poo or get off the pot. You poo poo or you hit the bricks. Directed - Have you told them the stream is directed for Christ? And Action. A-I-D-A. Get out there - you got the prospects coming in. You think they came in to get out of the rain? A guy don't pop a squat on the john unless he wants to bidet. They're sitting out there waiting to clean their buttocks. Are you gonna take it? Are you man enough to take it?
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Mar 14, 2020 06:53
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I come to this thread with a strong and ultimately unfounded distrust of bidets as I fear it will only serve to moisten the area in question could this fear be alleviated after proper exposure to bidet culture? I cannot answer that, and for the time being I will not be allowing a bidet into my home, but perhaps there is hope yet in this dark post toilet-paper world |
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Mar 14, 2020 12:18
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Doxxieh posted:I come to this thread with a strong and ultimately unfounded distrust of bidets as I fear it will only serve to moisten the area in question Hold on. I have some literature. |
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Mar 14, 2020 14:57
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FutonForensic posted:The only available workaround is to use MySecretSplash93's custom bidet API that can sync your unit to lunar cycles. Unfortunately, the latest release conflicts with rectalTyphoon's API that adjusts pressure based on proximity to the equinoxes. Heather Papps posted:it may be time to finally flush the toilet, as it were! 
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Mar 14, 2020 15:21
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Rorschach's Journal. March 12th, 2020. Used the bidet again this morning. Soothing jet on stanky hole. This city's afraid of me. I've seen its true butt. The streets are extended gutters, and the gutters are full of COVID-19, and when the stores run out of toilet paper all the vermin will drown. The accumulated filth of all their poop and farts will foam up about their cracks and all the whores and politicians will look up and shout "Wipe us!" and I'll whisper "No." |
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Mar 14, 2020 18:17
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"BUY debt!" I loudly say, mispronouncing the name like a Philistine. "I wonder how they flush south of the Equator?" I say, to no one in particular. Sure, people step away from me uncomfortably after awhile, clearly having established myself as a loud, uncouth boor. But that's only because I have the smug confidence that only a man who uses a bidet regularly can have, so it's all good  .
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Mar 14, 2020 23:19
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SweetWillyRollbar posted:Hold on. I have some literature. I patiently await this literature which hopefully explains, in great detail, how and why I won't just have brown water running down my leg after use |
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Mar 15, 2020 01:12
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The water running out of my nose on our video conference might mean I'm sick with that virus OR it might mean my bidet's water pressure is a touch too high
https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Mar 15, 2020 03:36
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Doxxieh posted:I patiently await this literature which hopefully explains, in great detail, how and why I won't just have brown water running down my leg after use You sit down while using it then wipe. If the water running down your leg after that is still brown you didn't bidet enough. |
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Mar 15, 2020 06:20
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SweetWillyRollbar posted:You sit down while using it then wipe. To-do list: Acquire toilet paper in case I try the paperless method (Just to be safe, wouldn't want Deborah next door asking too many questions now would we?) Determine the line between not bidet-ing enough and being far too det Drink Invite Deborah 'round for lunch quoting an interesting market research opportunity and hope she doesn't get all flushed like the last one |
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Mar 15, 2020 12:32
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SweetWillyRollbar posted:You sit down while using it then wipe. Got to get one of those fancy air dryer models. Blow dry your bunghole. |
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Mar 15, 2020 12:47
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Pot Smoke Phoenix posted:The water running out of my nose on our video conference might mean I'm sick with that virus OR it might mean my bidet's water pressure is a touch too high |
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Mar 15, 2020 14:45
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Bidet, or not bidet? That is the question. The answer is yes, always! Escape From Noise fucked around with this message at 15:06 on Mar 15, 2020 |
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Mar 15, 2020 15:02
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will you vote for joe bidet? or will you vote for bidet sanders? the choice is yours but either way.....you're getting a bidet |
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Mar 15, 2020 15:32
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the year is 2021. toilet paper is extinct, and my control of the only rear end-cleaning technology in the neighborhood has transformed me into that warlord from mad max: fury road do not, my friends, become addicted to a whistling-clean rectum. It will take hold of you, and you will resent its absence
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Mar 15, 2020 15:40
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Tiny Tubesteak Tom posted:will you vote for joe bidet? or will you vote for bidet sanders? the choice is yours but either way.....you're getting a bidet Bidet 2020 |
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Mar 15, 2020 15:46
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SweetWillyRollbar posted:Bidet, or not bidet? That is the question. When someone asks you if you want a bidet, you say yes! |
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Mar 15, 2020 16:12
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If you think about it, a neti pot is kind of like a bidet for your face. This makes the nostrils twin buttholes. |
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Mar 16, 2020 01:44
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Restaurant was clean. Service was excellent. Food was fairly priced, fresh, and well made. But the bathroom facilities were like something from a third world hellhole. Not even a squeeze bottle of water to bidet with. 1.5 stars Escape From Noise fucked around with this message at 13:11 on Mar 20, 2020 |
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Mar 20, 2020 09:49
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| # ? Apr 29, 2024 17:34 |
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SweetWillyRollbar posted:Restaurant was clean. Service was excellent. Food was fairly priced, fresh, and well made. But the bathroom facilities were like something from a third world hellhole. Not even a squeeze bottle of water to bidet with. Review for Cheep Laundromat (Restaurant): the only food is a gumball machine that hasn't been used since 2017, but if you put your rear end in the washers you won't have to bidet for a week. 5 stars
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Mar 21, 2020 01:29
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