- some plague rats
- Jun 5, 2012
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by Fluffdaddy
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Gandalf chooses a yellow bean from the bag hoping for lemon and eats it, then exclaims "alas! Krokodil."
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Oct 7, 2020 02:22
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 5, 2024 21:43
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- EclecticTastes
- Sep 17, 2012
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"Most plans are critically flawed by their own logic. A failure at any step will ruin everything after it. That's just basic cause and effect. It's easy for a good plan to fall apart. Therefore, a plan that has no attachment to logic cannot be stopped."
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Gandalf chooses a yellow bean from the bag hoping for lemon and eats it, then exclaims "alas! Krokodil."
I think we've got some cross-promotion opportunities with Space Station 13, at this rate.
Old Man Cogwerks' Old-Fashioned, Homestyle, Gourmet Floorpills
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Oct 7, 2020 04:18
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- TooMuchAbstraction
- Oct 14, 2012
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I spent four years making
Waves of Steel
Hell yes I'm going to turn my avatar into an ad for it.
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Fun Shoe
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How many times can you fry a lemon drop?
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Oct 7, 2020 04:34
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- some plague rats
- Jun 5, 2012
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by Fluffdaddy
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I think we've got some cross-promotion opportunities with Space Station 13, at this rate.
Old Man Cogwerks' Old-Fashioned, Homestyle, Gourmet Floorpills
I have no idea what this means and I fully endorse it
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Oct 7, 2020 05:20
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- EclecticTastes
- Sep 17, 2012
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"Most plans are critically flawed by their own logic. A failure at any step will ruin everything after it. That's just basic cause and effect. It's easy for a good plan to fall apart. Therefore, a plan that has no attachment to logic cannot be stopped."
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I have no idea what this means and I fully endorse it
Allow me to introduce you to the best mistake you'll ever make.
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Oct 7, 2020 05:25
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- Rarity
- Oct 21, 2010
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~*4 LIFE*~
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But our customers won't be able to stuff candy into their faces if they don't have faces
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Oct 7, 2020 07:28
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- EclecticTastes
- Sep 17, 2012
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"Most plans are critically flawed by their own logic. A failure at any step will ruin everything after it. That's just basic cause and effect. It's easy for a good plan to fall apart. Therefore, a plan that has no attachment to logic cannot be stopped."
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I think we're getting ahead of ourselves. We should take advantage of our existing resources to begin with, don't want to burn through all that sweet riddle prize money immediately.
Make candy using whatever we find in the cabinets in the vet surgery.
Market it to the animal lovers, get some of that Animal Crossing hype.
Or label it medicinal, like those goddamn lethal peppermints that basically cure colds by scouring your sinuses, or gummy vitamins.
If we avoid Googling what any of the drugs are meant to do we'd get that good gacha random loot aspect as well.
Obtain additional supplies from reputable sources like that one guy hanging around the gas station, and pills found in restroom trash cans, and free samples from salesmen who think we're still a vet.
Then we can branch out into actually paying for things other than corn syrup and make things that might almost be real - if horrible - candy.
Hey, if we run ourselves into insurmountable debt/the FBI's most-wanted list producing a bunch of terrible/illegal candies, we can just hold a golden ticket contest of our own, where the winner gets not just the "factory", but also the company itself*.
*financial and legal liabilities included.
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Oct 7, 2020 08:52
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- inflatablefish
- Oct 24, 2010
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Hey, if we run ourselves into insurmountable debt/the FBI's most-wanted list producing a bunch of terrible/illegal candies, we can just hold a golden ticket contest of our own, where the winner gets not just the "factory", but also the company itself*.
*financial and legal liabilities included.
This is a genius plan!
I wonder if anyone has ever tried it before...
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Oct 7, 2020 10:45
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- cant cook creole bream
- Aug 15, 2011
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I think Fahrenheit is better for weather
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Legal note: At the time of this writing, Something Awful LLC is owned and directed by one Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka. Any federal legal inquiries should focus on his involvement.
cant cook creole bream fucked around with this message at 11:49 on Oct 8, 2020
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Oct 8, 2020 11:45
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- Jen X
- Sep 29, 2014
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To bring light to the darkness, whether that darkness be ignorance, injustice, apathy, or stagnation.
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IMO we should lean into what we have and start with candy for pets, and market them as edible to humans too.
Share a snack with Fido! Enjoy dessert with Mittens!
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Oct 12, 2020 01:28
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- Astrofig
- Oct 26, 2009
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Scobbie Snax! Made from real ingredients!
*Ingredients may include cardboard, rat droppings and corn syrup
Candy cans, gummies the size and shape of aluminum cans that have jelly beans/candy slime inside. Can candy: it tastes canned-y!
Astrofig fucked around with this message at 03:03 on Oct 12, 2020
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Oct 12, 2020 02:58
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- cant cook creole bream
- Aug 15, 2011
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I think Fahrenheit is better for weather
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quote: 451: Unavailable due to legal reasons
We recognize you are attempting to access this website from a country belonging to the European Economic Area (EEA) including the EU which enforces the General Data Protection Regulation (GDPR) and therefore access cannot be granted at this time. For any issues, contact ktnews@kokomotribune.com or call (765) 459-3121.
any chance to can give a summary to that?
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Sep 19, 2021 14:48
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May 5, 2024 21:43
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- idhrendur
- Aug 20, 2016
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any chance to can give a summary to that?
A news site doing unsavory things with my data posted:For over three months, a small necklace with a golden ticket attached lay buried in the ground at Highland Park, waiting to be found.
Andrew Maas, a 39-year-old father from Colorado, did just that. On Aug. 29, he walked into the park and dug up the ticket hidden beneath the Vermont Covered Bridge.
And with that, he became the new owner of a 4,000-square-foot candy factory in Florida.
The find was the culmination of a year-long, nationwide, Willy Wonka-inspired treasure hunt that had 35,000 people solving riddles and then scouring the country for golden tickets hidden in every state.
But the final ticket for the ultimate candy factory prize lay quietly underground in Highland Park.
THE CANDYMAN CAN
The national scavenger hunt was orchestrated by David “Candyman” Klein, who developed the world-famous Jelly Belly brand in 1976 and founded Candyman Kitchens.
Last year, he and his partner, Stephanie Thirtyacre, drove around the country hiding the tickets in every state and then creating four-line riddles leading hunters to the prize. One thousand people were allowed to register for each state hunt, and the finder was awarded a $5,000 prize.
“We just got in the car and went,” Thirtyacre said. “We do things really spontaneously.”
When Klein, 74, announced the treasure hunt in September, it quickly gained national media attention, with major news outlets around the world covering the fantastical undertaking. Soon, their website for the search went viral.
That’s when Maas came across the contest.
He said he loves riddles and adventures. He even met his wife during a year-long mission trip around the world that was based on the hit TV show “The Amazing Race.”
So the prospect of getting clues and searching for golden tickets was something Maas couldn’t resist. He ended up registering for the hunt in Colorado, Kansas, Wyoming and South Dakota, but never found a ticket.
Maas said he did solve the riddle for the ticket in Kansas and was on his way to get it when another contestant beat him to it one minute before he arrived.
Then, on Memorial Day weekend, the final riddle for the last ticket was released for everyone who had registered for the state hunts. It read:
Don’t have a instant idea, for a treasure diehard
We see witches nearby, two stand guard
Go Solve and Search, as low as our toe
Why find a nut and walks are no foe
Maas instantly started working on solving the puzzle. For months, he worked through the clues, but kept hitting dead ends.
As the weeks dragged on and no one found the ticket, Klein started releasing smaller clues to help, including narrowing down the search area from six states to just Illinois and Indiana.
That’s when Maas hit on the idea that “a treasure diehard” was Indiana Jones. The ticket was in Indiana. He started looking at cities in the state and came across Kokomo. That’s when the line “Don’t have a instant idea” made him think of the Beach Boys’ song “Kokomo” and the lyrics “We’ll get there fast and then we’ll take it slow.”
“It was such a fun name, and I knew David was a fun, lighthearted person,” Maas said.
It felt right, so he started looking at all the parks in the city, knowing the tickets were always hidden in public spaces. Maas found a photo on Google Maps of the two pavilions near the Vermont Covered Bridge in Highland Park. They looked like two witches’ hats.
At 10:30 p.m. Aug. 28, all the clues fell into place. Maas had it.
THE SEARCH IS ON
At midnight, he bought a 6 a.m. flight from Denver to Indianapolis, where he landed that morning and drove straight to Kokomo.
After a 30-minute search, Maas knew it was buried somewhere under the bridge after looking around the displays of Old Ben and the Sycamore Stump.
Klein had earlier provided all the contestants with a close-up photo of the spot as a clue, which showed metal. From the sun glinting in the picture, he knew it had to be under the northwest metal truss of the bridge.
Maas started digging. Then he saw the glint of the metal ticket in the ground.
“I thought, ‘Oh my gosh! I can’t believe it,’” he said. “After all this time, I had it. It was so surreal. I had been thinking about this for a year. It was a crazy mix of adrenaline and excitement.”
Maas registered his find on the treasure hunt website. Twenty minutes later, Klein called him while he was still in Highland Park and told him he had won. He had just won the candy factory.
Maas was floored. He now owned the plant, which makes an edible sand-art treat called Sandy Candy, along with other sweet concoctions. But he knew he couldn’t pick up his wife and two kids and move them to Florida to run the business.
Instead, the two are now working on an agreement in which Klein gives him the factory and then buys it back from him. Maas said he’s fine with whatever the agreement turns out to be.
“Whatever it is, we’ll be happy with it,” he said. “It’s money we didn’t have. But the excitement and adventure was the real reward. The money is the gravy on top.”
It all begs the question: Why choose Kokomo for the final golden ticket?
As with most things with Klein and Thirtyacre, it came down to random chance.
‘BETTER THAN REALITY’
Around March, the two started thinking about where to hide the final ticket, and figured they wanted it somewhere in the middle of the country. Kansas was in the back of their minds.
So like before, they jumped in the car and started driving from Florida to Kansas with no particular place in mind. When they hit Indiana, Thirtyacre decided she was tired of driving. The two planned to head to Illinois to see her son.
That’s when they saw the exit for Kokomo. Klein started humming the Beach Boys song, and Thirtyacre remembered she had an aunt who had recently died who lived there. Soon, they were on the exit and heading into the city before they found themselves in Highland Park.
They both instantly fell in love with the Vermont Covered Bridge. And that’s where they buried the last golden ticket that ended up hidden for three months before Maas flew from Colorado to find it.
The two ended up also falling in love with the city. In fact, they named their new kitten Kokomo.
“Everybody there has a really, really good attitude and a positive attitude, and we really felt welcome there,” Klein said.
The treasure hunt fulfilled a lifelong dream for Klein, who has worked in the candy business since he was 7 years old, when he ran the candy section of his grandmother’s licorice store in California.
Inspired by Willy Wonka, Klein has always wanted to give away a candy factory, and Thirtyacre said she’s always wanted to create her own national treasure hunt. With their powers combined, they decided to pull it off last year.
And now that the contest is over, and they’ve given away a candy factory and $250,000 in prize money, they both say they feel like they’ve done something truly special for the nation as it struggles through the COVID-19 pandemic.
“We honestly felt like we did some good for the world, and that gave us the greatest pleasure,” Klein said. “It was something to think about and dream about. And sometimes dreams are better than reality."
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Oct 7, 2020 02:22
