bringing news of a video game soldiers' fate to their loved ones

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Jaguars!

She was killed trying to land a Huey on top of a 100m tall pile of tanks, APCs, armoured cars, fighter-bombers and missile launching jeeps. We aren't sure why. We think maybe she was caught in a tough spot and improvised a battle plan.

# ? Dec 10, 2020 01:19

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# ? May 15, 2024 05:56

magic cactus: We lied. We are not at war. There is no enemy. This is a rescue operation.

we tried to warn him about the sniper ma'am, but the lag was so bad it took a minute for us to figure out he'd been hit. We'd give you the body, but it's missing the head.

Thanks to Saoshyant for the amazing spring '23 sig!

# ? Dec 10, 2020 02:07

google THIS

"Ma'm?"

"Yes?"

"I'm here about your husband."

"What is it?"

"F"

"F"

# ? Dec 10, 2020 02:15

Prof. Crocodile

FactsAreUseless posted:

Four Snifits play Taps with their masks around the tiny casket of a Shy Guy.

# ? Dec 10, 2020 02:45

Heather Papps: hello friend

i'm sorry timmy but your dad was tending the yucca plants when some courier ran straight through the farm shooting everything in sight. here's his goo pile. rent is due tomorrow.

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Dec 10, 2020 02:51

Heather Papps: hello friend

i know twenty three jaguar, we never should have sent your son to look for wild turkeys alone but the gods demanded it, and the jaguars have made a sacrifice of him

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Dec 10, 2020 02:52

Heather Papps: hello friend

janie fell for the spray trap. i'm sorry. if it's any comfort it was a very funny spray.

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Dec 10, 2020 02:53

biosterous

sk posted:

your highness, while mario DID survive the paratroopa ambush, he's...very small now. i'm so sorry

^{^{thank you saoshyant for this sig!!!}}
^{^{gallery of sigs}}

he/him

# ? Dec 10, 2020 04:32

nut

sk posted:

your highness, while mario DID survive the paratroopa ambush, he's...very small now. i'm so sorry

# ? Dec 10, 2020 04:34

your friend sk: (ヤイケス!)

Buttchocks posted:

We found what we believe are your husband's remains, but have been unable to positively ID the body. No matter which direction we approach it from, it's somehow always facing away from us.

lmao

# ? Dec 10, 2020 05:10

Escape From Noise

F
eFb

# ? Dec 10, 2020 09:58

Yinlock

FactsAreUseless posted:

Four Snifits play Taps with their masks around the tiny casket of a Shy Guy.

# ? Dec 10, 2020 14:56

vanisher

He crashed out of the program

# ? Dec 10, 2020 16:37

Drink-Mix Man: You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

*Accidentally brings up folded flag from inventory instead of a gun while getting pounded by machine gun fire*

Oh no no no fuuuuck drat IT

# ? Dec 10, 2020 17:56

Drink-Mix Man: You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

*Tossing little triangular folded flag at widow's doorstep like a proximity mine*

# ? Dec 10, 2020 17:58

alnilam

Mrs. Kerman, I'm afraid your husband is trapped in an enormously eccentric lunar orbit. No, I'm afraid there's no fuel to change it... Our engineers felt that the speed afforded by 46 solid rocket boosters were more important to the mission. It may bring you comfort to know that he imitated lewd gestures during his only EVA.

_{ty manifisto}

# ? Dec 10, 2020 18:17

Bonaventure: by sebmojo

[tosses the bucket of Tom all over his mother]

Ludicrous gibs!

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Dec 10, 2020 18:28

Finger Prince

google THIS posted:

"Ma'm?"

"Yes?"

"I'm here about your husband."

"What is it?"

"F"

"F"

# ? Dec 10, 2020 18:45

Finger Prince

Ma'am, I have some terrible news. Your son has been killed in action. Over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over and over, well you get the point. But despite his abysmal k/d ratio, he will always be remembered as the hero who finally ganked that cheap-rear end hill wookie with, of all things a blowtorch mounted on a bomb disposal robot. I'm told by his squad mates that his killcam teabag dance was legendary.

# ? Dec 10, 2020 18:53

StupidSexyMothman

Mrs. Freeman, please, the silent treatment isn't going to make this any easier for anyone.

# ? Dec 10, 2020 19:00

alnilam

He was cut down by cowardly AWP fire during a heroic dualies rush on the CT spawn. The freedom fighters of the Leet Crew will always remember him.

_{ty manifisto}

# ? Dec 10, 2020 19:02

RickRogers: Woh, is that a thing I like??

Yes Ma'am, he died a hero defending that point, and left you his service issue hats.

Ok boys, bring in the first truck!

# ? Dec 10, 2020 20:28

Finger Prince

His last emote was "play the objective!" as he selflessly ran headlong into a heavily mined flagpole. Sadly there was no corpse to return. Well, not one that has landed yet.

# ? Dec 10, 2020 20:50

canyoneer: I only have canyoneyes for you

"one last thing ma'am. I don't know how to say this, but your son's killer said he already knows you. he said a few more things too"

# ? Dec 10, 2020 22:02

StupidSexyMothman

canyoneer posted:

"one last thing ma'am. I don't know how to say this, but your son's killer said he already knows you. he said a few more things too"

lmao

# ? Dec 10, 2020 22:04

RickRogers: Woh, is that a thing I like??

Hello Mrs. DANKw33dkilla5?
I am afraid I have some bad news about...about your son being a total noob.
I am so sorry.

# ? Dec 10, 2020 22:17

RickRogers: Woh, is that a thing I like??

Mrs. Samedi, the morgue is this way.....please mind your head

# ? Dec 10, 2020 22:24

Yinlock

alnilam posted:

He was cut down by cowardly AWP fire during a heroic dualies rush on the CT spawn. The freedom fighters of the Leet Crew will always remember him.

canyoneer posted:

"one last thing ma'am. I don't know how to say this, but your son's killer said he already knows you. he said a few more things too"

# ? Dec 10, 2020 22:46

Finger Prince

Children, your father was a Hero and a Patriot, and you should always be proud of him, as I know he is proud of you, looking down on us from heaven.

You mean looking up?

What?

Looking up at us from heaven.

I'm sorry, I don't follow.

Yeah, he tweeted us this picture from the other side:
https://twitter.com/King__Dugga/status/433283294659375104/photo/1

# ? Dec 10, 2020 22:50

snergle: A kind little mouse!

Jaguars! posted:

Perhaps you can take pride that he died like a fighting worm, he made a little quip and blew himself up with an old fashioned explosives dynamo in the best traditions of the service.

# ? Dec 11, 2020 00:06

Heather Papps: hello friend

we told him, time and time again, don't stand by the barrels of nuclear waste, but he didn't care. he said he liked the way it smelled. we should have been more firm, but you knew phil, he was a charmer. anyways one day a stray bullet from an intruder triggered a chain reaction and i'm sorry... he's gone to the great spawn point in the skybox.

thanks Dumb Sex-Parrot and deep dish peat moss for this winter bounty!

# ? Dec 11, 2020 01:47