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I'd like an arranged marriage, but it's such a big deal that I want to work up to it gradually. I'm starting with an arranged handjob.
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Oct 11, 2021 14:44
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naem posted:I’m not sure how much the western worlds strategy of “pretend you’re the protagonist in a romantic comedy and expect impossible happiness as the mark of success and anything less than orgiastic joy equals failure” makes sense because half of all marriages fail here Perhaps monogamy is simply untenable in a world where people live past 600
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Oct 11, 2021 16:23
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I have a 17 year old son who will be 18 in April, has middling prospects of playing Division 3 football at a small Christian college, a stylish goat beard, and a solid job at Home Depot. Naturally I’m not expecting a large dowry, but I’ll need a familial fertility history, proof of no major genetic defects, and an affidavit of good character.
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Oct 11, 2021 20:42
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Szyznyk posted:I have a 17 year old son who will be 18 in April, has middling prospects of playing Division 3 football at a small Christian college, a stylish goat beard, and a solid job at Home Depot. Naturally I’m not expecting a large dowry, but I’ll need a familial fertility history, proof of no major genetic defects, and an affidavit of good character. How fair is his skin? Was his maternal grandmother born within 5km of the same village my paternal great grandfather lived in? Does he have an MBA? (All real questions that would be asked were you to put him up on the marriage market in certain places.)
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Oct 11, 2021 21:57
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Xaintrailles posted:I'd like an arranged marriage, but it's such a big deal that I want to work up to it gradually. I'm starting with an arranged handjob. Lmao BrigadierSensible posted:Was his maternal grandmother born within 5km of the same village my paternal great grandfather lived in? This seems like a dangerous aspect of an already bad idea. I wonder if anyone has been arranged to marry their cousin on accident.
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Oct 11, 2021 22:11
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Poohs Packin posted:Glad someone couldn read between the lines and figure out that I was harder than AP Calculus throughout the entirety of the anecdote. you looked for images of women that looked similar to her to post in the thread and beat off to
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Oct 11, 2021 22:28
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Full disclosure I googled "hot lawyer".
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Oct 11, 2021 23:12
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Poohs Packin posted:This seems like a dangerous aspect of an already bad idea. I wonder if anyone has been arranged to marry their cousin on accident. I mean in a lot of places if it happened on accident it'd be a nice bonus, the "cousin marriage is gross" is largely a fairly modern development.
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Oct 11, 2021 23:49
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WILDTURKEY101 posted:An Indian kid I was coaching didn't show up to practice for two days. When I asked the other guys where he was they told me that his parents found out he was dating a white girl so they sent him back to India to live with his grandparents. What pieces of poo poo. My wife's parents also tried this. Her boss got wind of the plan and straight up stole her passport.
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Oct 12, 2021 01:34
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reignonyourparade posted:I mean in a lot of places if it happened on accident it'd be a nice bonus, the "cousin marriage is gross" is largely a fairly modern development. Cousin fucker spotted, lol
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Oct 12, 2021 01:57
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State of Florida is a-ok with first cousin marriage.
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Oct 12, 2021 02:02
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reignonyourparade posted:I mean in a lot of places if it happened on accident it'd be a nice bonus, the "cousin marriage is gross" is largely a fairly modern development. Wait how is marrying your cousin a bonus? Less of a debate on whos family dinner to go to on Christmas I guess.
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Oct 12, 2021 02:27
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Poohs Packin posted:Wait how is marrying your cousin a bonus? Less of a debate on whos family dinner to go to on Christmas I guess. More family assets stay within the family is the big one I think, but in general I just know that preferential cousin marriage is not actually particularly uncommon throughout the world.
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Oct 12, 2021 02:51
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It would be pretty interesting to have a marriage recruiter/agent
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Oct 12, 2021 02:56
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YeahTubaMike posted:It would be pretty interesting to have a marriage recruiter/agent Theres no denying that.
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Oct 12, 2021 03:43
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Yes, then instead of failing to meet woman in bars we can all sit at home waiting to the phone to not ring.
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Oct 12, 2021 04:01
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I've known a few people with arranged marriages. They seem to like each other and enjoy each other's company, much like any couple. Though one of my favorite stories is about a friend of mine. His parents emigrated to the US from Pakistan and he was born and raised here, going back to Pakistan maybe a handful of times until he hit HS when he went to internships at his Uncle's bank. There are stories there too, like how he had to buy a ridiculously gaudy watch to conform to the culture of conspicuous consumption there, contrasted with the understated-but-more-expensive watch he normally wore for the American/European culture of conspicuous consumption. Who the hell is Patek? My buddy Patel can hook you up with gold and diamonds! Anyway, a big part of the internships was meeting girls and he figured out this was for marriage purposes. He went nuclear on his parents and explained that he was an American and was going to have a love marriage. His parents were pretty cool about it, all things considered. So, he went on to date and basically have a normal American experience. However, he has a brother who is a little over 4 years younger than he is. His brother is also a lot more observant than he is. His parents, trying to be good parents and accept their Americanized children, didn't do anything arranged for his younger brother. However, they did not discuss this with their son. So finally at 22, after hormones have been ranging for a long time, never been kissed and one of his go-to jokes is that if you sit on his bed you might get pregnant, his brother asks his parents, "So, Mom and Dad, when am I going to get married?" His parents were shocked and just said that since he was raised in America they figured he would want an American-style love marriage. This was loving news to him. He was very frustrated about all the wasted time so he started dating immediately. He's pretty attractive so it worked out pretty well for him, despite the late start. It was also a huge relief to his brother and his family because they were concerned that since he wasn't showing interest in women that he was probably gay. And westernized or no, that would *not* have been OK.
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Oct 12, 2021 04:37
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Anything would have been better than the lovely choices I made. I had an admittedly magical ability to instantly know who my next boyfriend would be, it was truly eerie But goddamn was I drawn to whack
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Oct 12, 2021 04:48
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naem posted:I’m not sure how much the western worlds strategy of “pretend you’re the protagonist in a romantic comedy and expect impossible happiness as the mark of success and anything less than orgiastic joy equals failure” makes sense because half of all marriages fail here
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Oct 12, 2021 05:23
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OnlyBans posted:I've known a few people with arranged marriages. They seem to like each other and enjoy each other's company, much like any couple. What you are saying about siblings re: 1 being more traditional/observant rings true with my cousins. Although they are Hindu rather than Muslim. Hema, (the older cousin), is very serious and traditional so was happy to go along with the whole arranged marriage thing, meeting her future husband that her parents had picked out for her. Whereas Arvind, (her younger brother), despite being born and growing up in Bangalore, was a lot more 'westernized' to coin a phrase. Listening to Iron Maiden, and riding around on a motorbike etc. Now he is in his late forties, he likes expensive whiskey, whilst his sister still listens to Carnatic music and is pushing her son to be a doctor. Arvind had a love match marriage. Although, as I have mentioned before, scandal was averted due to his bride also being an Iyengar Brahmin, just from Chennai instead.
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Oct 12, 2021 05:29
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YeahTubaMike posted:It would be pretty interesting to have a marriage recruiter/agent Today, instead of looking in her special matchmaker’s book, Yenta would just throw your picture up on Plentyoffish and send you whatever dregs responded.
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Oct 12, 2021 09:59
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YeahTubaMike posted:It would be pretty interesting to have a marriage recruiter/agent A spokesman's wages is a shirt with seven pockets, and a bottle of booze in each pocket. (According to an old saying. I may be off by a few on the exact number of pockets and bottles.) So I'd much rather be the agent than have one.
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Oct 12, 2021 10:47
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One of my good friends whom I grew up with has Indian parents. His parents have been living in Norway probably 40 years now, and all of their kids; eldest son, daughter, and youngest son (my friend) were born in Scandinavia. While I don't know for sure, it was heavily implied that both his elder siblings marriages were arranged. The brothers wife I know fairly well, she was also born in Norway to Indian parents, they have two awesome kids and seem happy. His sister also married a Norwegian born Indian, but that guy was a dick and they actually got divorced. I don't know the details, but last time I met the whole family everything seemed ok, so I don't think the divorce made her a pariah. Anyway, my friend though, he really hated the very idea of an arranged marriage, and confined in me that he doesn't want to marry an Indian woman at all. He actually met a black *gasp* woman and fell in love. It caused so much drat drama between him and his parents it was unreal. However the parents did relent in the end after the older brother gave his "blessing". During their wedding I spoke to his father, his father was still not exactly happy about the choice of partner but decided to keep his mouth shut. My friends wife is smart, has a great career (lawyer), and is a pleasant woman and they are happy together, but because she's black it was this whole drama. .. In China there is also w whole "matchmaking culture" where parents try to set their kids up with potential partners. I don't know if they still have it, but every Saturday (or was it Sunday?) in the People's Park there was a marriage market. Parents would write out some facts about their sons on large posters, mostly things like height, education, salary, age, and in which part of Shanghai he owned an apartment, and put them up around the park. Parents of daughters would write what they were looking for in a partner for their daughter, again, height, salary, education and apartment were the important aspects. Then the parents would mingle with other parents trying to set up blind dates. One of my wife's friends went on blind dates arranged by her parents almost every week, I think she went through at least 30 dates before finding a guy to marry and have a child with. While she was allowed to refuse or accept a suitor for any reason, she still had pressure on her to get married and have a child before she turned 25 years old. From what I heard from my wife she's not very happy, but at least the guy had an apartment and they have a child so mission accomplished. fish and chips and dip fucked around with this message at 11:11 on Oct 12, 2021 |
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Oct 12, 2021 11:07
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Spinz posted:I had an admittedly magical ability to instantly know who my next boyfriend would be, it was truly eerie I'm just interpreting this as you've mostly been able to pick up who ever you want.
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Oct 12, 2021 11:20
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I wonder if there's more tacit infidelity in arranged marriages, where both parties accept that they are together for a different reason so finding someone else to fulfill the physical aspect isn't as looked down upon? Just speculation, but it seems likelier that you'd have possible bedroom incompatibilities if you marry someone you've never been intimate with before.
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Oct 12, 2021 12:39
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If it weren't for arranged marriage, one of my buddies would admittedly have almost zero chance of being in a relationship. He's an obnoxious nerd who used to spend slightly less time than myself playing ARPG's. Total goon personality. Now he's married and plays console games by himself, while occasionally dropping by our Ventrilo server to sigh about how no one wants to play games with him because he's almost never around to commit to anything. We'll see how the arranged divorce goes in a few years or so.
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Oct 12, 2021 19:19
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The Management posted:You can marry for love but it better be either your own caste or a white person (whom I understand is the wildcard), and that person better have a promising career or money, and your family can’t know you’re dating until you’re already engaged. A friend of mine (a white American girl) dated an Indian engineer for a couple years. He was extremely reluctant to tell his family about her but she eventually pressured him into it once it became a serious relationship. She was in the room during his phone call; his mother went absolutely ballistic, just screaming at the top of her lungs, and then started sobbing and hung up. She ended up breaking up with him a few months later when they started discussing engagement and a whole host of patriarchal ideas came out that he wouldn't let go of. I'm sure his family was extremely relieved.
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Oct 12, 2021 19:49
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YeahTubaMike posted:It would be pretty interesting to have a marriage recruiter/agent Matchmaking and Dating services were killed by the web.
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Oct 13, 2021 01:05
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As someone that has known a rather large number of Westernized Indian women, the word seem in the constant refrain of, "They seem happy..." is carrying an immense amount of weight. Honestly one of the biggest problems with the whole process (besides the massive patriarchy inherent in it) is that there is this giant subset of Indian men that have never had to go through that depressing, harsh, and important process of figuring out how to talk to women. As a biology major in college I had to deal with a constant stream of pre-med dudes who were fine talking about most things and had no idea how women functioned at all. For any Indian woman who had made the horrible mistake of knowing what an orgasm was before their arranged marriage, it was truly a sad day.
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Oct 13, 2021 01:35
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BrigadierSensible posted:And to anyone who knows how long and exhausting an Indian wedding can be for the bride and groom, imagine having 2 within the space of a week. Shortly after graduating uni my buddy and I got hired to film an Indian wedding and from what I could tell these things were massive chores and really more for the parents than the bride and groom. Also the father who hired us rented a Rolls Royce for the event and asked us to use VFX to make it look like he had a whole motorcade of the loving things lol. We didn’t though, not for the money he was paying us
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Oct 13, 2021 01:44
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WILDTURKEY101 posted:A couple years later I was coaching another Indian kid, this time a girl, and she was TERRIFIED of her parents seeing her with a tan or finding out about her boyfriend because she said they'd send her back to India if they found out about the boyfriend. I guess I was the "trusted adult" and she told me about this stuff. She told me she wanted to get away from them and I said that the guidance counselor and I could help. Me and the guidance counselor helped her apply to UC Santa Cruz and get scholarships so she really didn't have to take many loans. When her parents found out she got in they tried to send her back to India, but she was 18 and told them to gently caress off and lived with a friend for the last few months of high school. Then she went to Santa Cruz and never talked to them again. Extra row of tits posted:My wife's parents also tried this. Her boss got wind of the plan and straight up stole her passport. loving legends.
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Oct 13, 2021 08:58
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I knew a guy who was a victim of arranged marriage and he told me that he cheated during the first couple of months of his marriage not out of lust but just to tell himself that he still has control over his life. Feels bad man.
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Oct 13, 2021 09:02
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Anonymous Zebra posted:As someone that has known a rather large number of Westernized Indian women, the word seem in the constant refrain of, "They seem happy..." is carrying an immense amount of weight. This is the vibe I got from ol Steve. He could only interact on a social level while talking about the cricket. I cant really speculate on his sexual prowess but he was nearing "dick problems" levels of obese.
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Oct 13, 2021 11:16
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Anonymous Zebra posted:As someone that has known a rather large number of Westernized Indian women, the word seem in the constant refrain of, "They seem happy..." is carrying an immense amount of weight. Subcontinental women absolutely have the worst deal of it. The Turks and Nigerians I know with arranged marriages seem much happier with their marriage, like, they seem to like each other, as opposed to arranged subcontinentals where the couples are often more distant.
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Oct 14, 2021 05:47
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I prefer deranged marriages, like my own.
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Oct 14, 2021 06:01
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Down with the sickness.
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Oct 14, 2021 06:04
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kntfkr posted:I prefer deranged marriages, like my own. Just a 'lo and his 'lette
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Oct 14, 2021 06:05
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whoop whoop!
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Oct 14, 2021 06:14
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