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I found out recently that quite a few more people that I thought are in or have been in an arranged marriage. Here is an example of one: I worked with a guy, lets call him "Steve". Steve was an overweight line cook who had worked in the same restaurant for 12 years. He had a work "mummy" there who called him "baby" instead of "Steve". He was very clearly very comfortable in his position and had no designs on leaving. I would find out later than when they brought me in as "Sous Chef", he had argued for a pay rise and promotion and had basically made it clear that I wasn't really his new boss. After all, his mom worked there. Steve was kind of a poo poo head. He didn't like taking direction or collaborating. He didn't communicate except for with people he wanted to and on his own terms. He flirted with waitstaff regularly and was often very moody and crabby.  Pictured: Not "Steve" He was not what you would call an attractive man. Worst of all, he didn't look after himself. He was typically unshorn, smelly, and clearly didn't practice oral hygeine with any sort of regularity. He had weird long fingernails, which are typically a big no-no in a pro kitchen.  Pictured: Also not "Steve" I make a point here because this is a forum of goons after all. Even if you aren't exactly topping the charts in terms of natural good looks, you can do yourself a ton of favors by looking after yourself. Turns out old Steve didn't really have to though! One day a Strikingly beautiful woman comes to the kitchen pass/window. She could have been a model. She had a very expensive looking dye job and curls, manicured nails and nice clothes. She was classically beautiful and had curves for days. Without getting too pervy, this chick was an absolute smoke machine. I found out later that this was his wife, and she had dropped his lunch off for him at work. I was naturally intrigued. Steve was not good looking, had kind of a goony personality, and was clearly not a rich man. While I truly believe that there is someone out there for everyone, and that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, this guy was punching WAY above his weight.  Pictured: Not Steve's wife, although quite close. "What does your wife do, Steve?" "She is a lawyer"  I think to myself: She's beautiful, smart, and successful, just how, just why "Oh, that's awesome, I hear law-school is tremendously difficult," "Yeah mate" (silence) "So how did you guys meet?" "Oh our parents are friends and we've been friends since we were young", I can see he's starting to get agitated, as he was inclined to, so I drop it. I was mostly satisfied with this answer, until the kitchen manager, a huge Kiwi guy, booms from the other side of the kitchen:  Pictured: Rex Morgan, not the kitchen manager "Oh don't let baby sell you that poo poo! His marriage was arranged and he's punching well above his weight! Brah!" "Oh okay", I said, trying not to really react. It all made total sense but to say I was satisfied would be a lie. I look up at Steve/Baby and he just sort of shrugs. Steve chirps back at the kitchen manager: "What the gently caress does that mean, punching above my weight?!"  At this point I just put my head down and focus on my prep task, feeling like I've opened a weird can of worms, and sensing a goony spaz-out any second. The Kitchen Manager responds with a  "Bruh, it means she's way to hot for you! HAHA! And it means you couldn't have an ice cubes chance in hell of dating someone like that in the real world!" Another cook steps in and explains the metaphor literally: "Yeah like if Mike Tyson had to fight some skinny crackhead, the crackhead wouldn't stand a loving chance" I continue to chop onions with laser focus. Steve loses it: "Man. Man. gently caress! gently caress! all of YOU GUYS! Don't talk about MY WIFE! SHE IS MY WIFE!", He started to yell in this super weird monotone staccato nerd-shriek. He left that section of the kitchen and went and complained to "mummy". I felt kinda bad about it but then didn't, at all. I was mostly just curious how a guy like that ends up with a girl like that, I didn't mean anything malicious. Steve just walked around for the rest of the day with a blank, unblinking, clenched fury. He was actively not talking to anyone any he was making it very clear he was mad. https://twitter.com/iDontGiveATosss/status/1445414870099316739?s=20 I went to the KM about it and he just waved the whole thing off, they had known each other for over 10 years and were more like brothers than co-workers: "Baby gets on his high horse sometimes and I like to bring him down a peg he'll be fine in a week, its all love, bro". I quit working there about 2 months later because the whole "hosed up family" dynamic wasn't really for me. I'm also pretty much flatly against arranged marriage for pretty much this reason: no matter how ambitious or successful Steve's wife becomes, she's ALWAYS going to have this stagnant bucket of pondwater in human form husband tied to her through family obligation. She could become a Judge or Magistrate and still be bringing this guy lunches at his dead-end cook job. So like gently caress arranged marriages I guess. I still laugh about his nerd-rage and the incredibly on-the-nose explanation of "punching above your weight", he received.
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Oct 7, 2021 10:35
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Maybe some people like disgusting heaps of garbage, hmmm??
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Oct 7, 2021 11:44
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Alternatively, goons still have the opportunity to punch under their weight and find a truly plain but interesting woman that is still equipped with girl-parts. My wife is secretly a serious nerd tomboy. I cannot recommend the combo enough. On the outside she looks like a typical woman but when nobody’s paying attention she blurts out obscure Star Trek trivia. I didn’t have to explain anything from Lower Decks. As for arranged marriages, nobody truly is forced into this in the modern world. Maybe homeboy is different at home and has a 12 inch donger.
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Oct 7, 2021 11:53
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Richard Cabeza posted:My wife is secretly a serious nerd tomboy. I cannot recommend the combo enough. On the outside she looks like a typical woman but when nobody’s paying attention she blurts out obscure Star Trek trivia. I didn’t have to explain anything from Lower Decks. a very humble brag
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Oct 7, 2021 12:12
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op this means you have to steal/rescue steve's wife
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Oct 7, 2021 12:13
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Richard Cabeza posted:As for arranged marriages, nobody truly is forced into this in the modern world. Maybe homeboy is different at home and has a 12 inch donger. Its entirely possible he had a big swangin hog but I highly doubt the different at home bit. The guy could barely regulate his emotions at work. I disagree with the "nobody is really forced into this in the modern world", but dont care to unpack coercive control right now. Lets just say the poo poo happens alot. Pretty funny to see a guy just get called out on it and freak out though. Also pretty funny that he tried to down play it like she fell for him after a lifetime of totally not arranged friendship.
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Oct 7, 2021 12:16
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Booty Pageant posted:op this means you have to steal/rescue steve's wife My own smokeshow nerd of a wife works in the family courts, she'll be there if she needs. Although a good old fashioned balkan style wife-napping could be fun.
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Oct 7, 2021 12:24
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I don't know, if you visit the r/relationships thread you'll see that any man who can wipe own rear end is pretty much a cut above the rest Maybe he wipes own rear end
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Oct 7, 2021 12:51
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Poohs Packin posted:So like gently caress arranged marriages I guess. I still laugh about his nerd-rage and the incredibly on-the-nose explanation of "punching above your weight", he received.  's a child because they decided to marry outside the caste.
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Oct 7, 2021 12:53
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womb with a view posted:I don't know, if you visit the r/relationships thread you'll see that any man who can wipe own rear end is pretty much a cut above the rest The r/relationships thread taught me about the holy boyfriend trifecta: Has a job Is emotionally stable Wipes his own rear end Pick two.
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Oct 7, 2021 13:05
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Das Boo posted:The r/relationships thread taught me about the holy boyfriend trifecta: Has the same job hes had for 12 years where his work mommy makes him cookies and calls him a good boy Personification of a dialtone and prone to weird monotone outbursts Maybe wipes own rear end but probably misses some brown if other hygiene practice is any indication.
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Oct 7, 2021 13:11
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Poohs Packin posted:Has the same job hes had for 12 years where his work mommy makes him cookies and calls him a good boy Every day I'm so happy I'm not into dudes.
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Oct 7, 2021 13:15
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What's wrong with job security anyways? We can't all be high faluting computer touchers who switch jobs at the drop of a hat
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Oct 7, 2021 13:18
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This was a good episode of Jackass.
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Oct 7, 2021 13:32
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the only way you'll get married is if it's arranged OP so don't knock it
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Oct 7, 2021 13:36
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A ranged marriage so you never have to be closer than 30 feet
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Oct 7, 2021 13:36
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Maybe the “arrangement” is she gets to date other dudes on the side and he gets to, I don’t know, play Warcraft or what have you the other 12 hours he’s not at work?
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Oct 7, 2021 13:39
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If you have a better way to cement alliances between kingdoms I'd like to hear it.
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Oct 7, 2021 13:41
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I was friends with this Pakistani guy on college. He dressed like a typical dirtbag, and I guess he was a typical dirtbag. Openly smoking weed on campus, doing all the other drugs, loving around with women. He let us know he was going back to Pakistan to get married and be a doctor soon, and were all like what the gently caress. He said his parents set it up, hes met the girl and shes cool, and he seemed 100 percent fine with this. Sure enough he is back in Pakistan, married, a doctor, and devout Muslim - or so his social media pages show him to be, who knows. But it was fuckin weird that this guy who was just as much of a dirtbag as any of us was just like "ok, all done with that, time to go home and be a grownup and follow the path that my parents set up for me.'
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Oct 7, 2021 13:43
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Conservative-appearing people with power are dirtbags like everyone else, they just usually hide it better. It's all a grift
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Oct 7, 2021 13:45
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Id hate to be a marriage arranger. It would be like the grown up version of making ken and Barbie kiss. Like you can see how it would work out with ken and barbie, I mean everyone hopes you know? But it’s like, despite the implication, they are their own independent people. What if ken is gay? What about barbies unfulfilled sexual desires? What if she buys too many goddamn pillows for the couch? Like all sorts of poo poo could go wrong, and they can just avoid working it out because they didn’t make their own choices as adults. It’s always some higher powers fault.  
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Oct 7, 2021 14:50
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I'm gonna rearrange your marriage, buddy
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Oct 7, 2021 15:08
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Well that's one way to fix incels I guess
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Oct 7, 2021 15:09
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Just take them to the vet, snip snip.
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Oct 7, 2021 16:52
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I’ve arranged for you to suck my balls OP!
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Oct 7, 2021 16:55
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who the gently caress calls their mom "mummy" beyond like, age 5?
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Oct 7, 2021 17:00
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WILDTURKEY101 posted:I was friends with this Pakistani guy on college. He dressed like a typical dirtbag, and I guess he was a typical dirtbag. Openly smoking weed on campus, doing all the other drugs, loving around with women. He let us know he was going back to Pakistan to get married and be a doctor soon, and were all like what the gently caress. He said his parents set it up, hes met the girl and shes cool, and he seemed 100 percent fine with this. This reminds me of the way the Amish get a summer or two to go nuts and watch TV before raising barns till the grave.
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Oct 7, 2021 17:02
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Im like steve but without the wife. His situation seems cooler 
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Oct 7, 2021 17:04
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A good friend of mine from work is in an arranged marriage. She described the whole process to me. She wasn't arranged to a specific person from birth, but she was always told that at a certain age a man would choose her and she would marry him so she never dated anyone. When the time came it was a literal interview process where she met with a series of men for an hour each and then waited to hear which one chose her. To make things even crazier the guy who chose her went to America for a year immediately after marrying her and left her in India. Surprisingly it all worked out great and they get along really well and have 2 kids. She's told me that her situation is a rarity and most of the arranged marriages she knows of are a mess.
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Oct 7, 2021 17:17
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marriages are for forming alliances between houses domestic partnerships and civil unions are for couples bound by love
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Oct 7, 2021 17:50
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Bad Purchase posted:marriages are for forming alliances between houses Get a concubine for sexual relations beyond producing heirs. Real talk, arrangements of any social kind make me uncomfortable. Except flower arrangements.
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Oct 7, 2021 18:00
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Maybe his wife has a disgusting slob fetish
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Oct 7, 2021 18:08
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runnypoops posted:Im like steve but without the wife. His situation seems cooler I will buy you a new wife
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Oct 7, 2021 18:15
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DarkSoulsTantrum posted:I’ve arranged for you to suck my balls OP! can you just loving share for once? im sick of all these ball hogs.
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Oct 7, 2021 19:05
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BIG TIT LIL NIP posted:can you just loving share for once? im sick of all these ball hogs. I’m sure we can work out an….arrangement…
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Oct 7, 2021 19:07
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Reminds me of a news story from several months ago, where the bride in an arranged marriage died during the wedding, so the groom married her sister instead.quote:During the jaimala, the exchanging of garlands by the bride and the groom in an Indian wedding, Surabhi collapsed and a doctor was called to treat her after she suffered a heart attack, News 18 reported.
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Oct 7, 2021 19:40
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WILDTURKEY101 posted:I was friends with this Pakistani guy on college. He dressed like a typical dirtbag, and I guess he was a typical dirtbag. Openly smoking weed on campus, doing all the other drugs, loving around with women. He let us know he was going back to Pakistan to get married and be a doctor soon, and were all like what the gently caress. He said his parents set it up, hes met the girl and shes cool, and he seemed 100 percent fine with this. lots of conservative cultures have a sort of rumspringa but with the expectation that because they looked the other way while you went wild for x time you come back and do whats expected of you.
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Oct 7, 2021 19:49
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My father in law never paid a dowry I demand 3 chickens and a sturdy mule
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Oct 7, 2021 21:25
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im arranging the marriage of tha OPs head and a flushing toilet bowl!!!!!
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Oct 7, 2021 21:30
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Biohazard posted:who the gently caress calls their mom "mummy" beyond like, age 5? Weird Brits.
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Oct 7, 2021 21:30
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