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Proficient Scoundrel posted:i ordered food delivery this week and they got my order wrong. Prayin 4 u
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Dec 14, 2021 19:16
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Gasmask posted:mom dead. so what. LOL!
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Dec 14, 2021 19:50
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Mooey Cow posted:My big bro died so long ago, that not only am I the big brother now, I'm older than him than he was older than me. Every now and then I still have dreams that he didn't really die or he's somehow come back. i hate those dreams, but occasionally they're funny earlier this year we bought our first house and after we moved in I dreamt that we were showing it off to my parents. my mom was very confused what the urn on the mantelpiece was for and I had a very hard time trying to explain it.
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Dec 14, 2021 19:56
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Here's a more fun one: My maternal grandparents were monsters. My grandfather was abusive in in every sense of the word and my grandmother managed to keep it to physical and emotional abuse. It's a real wonder at least one of their kids didn't become a serial killer. Well, they got old and died. My grandmother went first. You know how sometimes dying people see loved ones or dogs just before they die? She saw a huge black bear in the corner. We only found out my grandfather died months after the fact. He had requested my mother and her sister not be told. He collected antiques and my mom refused to take any for fear they "might be cursed." If energy is truly entropic, she would be 100% right. The fun part came in 2017 when my family, my sister's family, my brother's family, and my uncle's family all met up at a big-rear end cabin in South Dakota for a quasi-family reunion. My uncle surprised everyone when he retrieved an item from his trunk: My grandparents' urn. There was a dumping ceremony and lots of pictures. My nephews posed drinking the from the urn and playing football with it. My mom dumped the ashes on my brother's leg, and also on a tree where our dog later peed on it. Everyone was laughing their asses off. In the end, my brother pitched the urn off a cliff from the window of their moving car. My grandparents would have hated how much fun everyone had at their literal disposal, but that's what you get when you're a dead piece of poo poo.
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Dec 14, 2021 20:16
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My biggest fear about losing family is the concept of never being able to talk to them again. Like, I'm sure there will be a time in the future when my dad is dead and I'll have a question I want to ask him about home repair stuff or something, or get some advice about life stuff, and he just won't be there. What's that like? I always think of the disconnecting permanence of death being the hardest part.
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Dec 14, 2021 20:41
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Das Boo posted:There was a dumping ceremony and lots of pictures. My nephews posed drinking the from the urn and playing football with it. My mom dumped the ashes on my brother's leg, and also on a tree where our dog later peed on it. Everyone was laughing their asses off. In the end, my brother pitched the urn off a cliff from the window of their moving car. ITT we learn elite mourning skills, that's amazing and awesome 
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Dec 14, 2021 20:58
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I don't actively wish anyone an unnatural death, no matter how awful they are, but there are definitely people whose eventual ends can be enjoyed, and even relished.
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Dec 14, 2021 21:09
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I have worked for the company that I'm currently at since I was a volunteer at the age of 14. So some of the people that work there I've known longer than some members of my family. One was found dead in her kitchen last Thursday, just old age heart attack when she was alone. The same day another coworker had a grown son who got covid and survived, but then had a stroke that destroyed a whole hemisphere of his brain. They took him off life support and he passed yesterday.
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Dec 14, 2021 21:17
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i lost my best friend 11 years ago, he drove his car right into a transport truck, havent had the ability to really make friends in real life ever since. but im 11 years sober so its cool
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Dec 14, 2021 21:39
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AHH F/UGH posted:My biggest fear about losing family is the concept of never being able to talk to them again. Like, I'm sure there will be a time in the future when my dad is dead and I'll have a question I want to ask him about home repair stuff or something, or get some advice about life stuff, and he just won't be there. What's that like? I always think of the disconnecting permanence of death being the hardest part. So right now I am dealing with my mom, who actually sucks, dying and I think to myself a lot, "Dad, I wish you were here so I could ask you what the gently caress I am supposed to do." Definitely the shittiest part.
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Dec 14, 2021 22:09
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Literally A Person posted:So right now I am dealing with my mom, who actually sucks, dying and I think to myself a lot, "Dad, I wish you were here so I could ask you what the gently caress I am supposed to do." My dad was like the neutralizing agent for my mom's crazy and with him gone it's pretty insane now. I don't know how he did it for decades.
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Dec 14, 2021 22:11
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nvidiagouge posted:My dad was like the neutralizing agent for my mom's crazy and with him gone it's pretty insane now. I don't know how he did it for decades. My folks split up when I was a youngin'. Kind of found out why when we found all of my mom's hidden vodka bottles all over my dad's house when cleaning it out for him to sell. It was for sure nice to have one normal parent.
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Dec 14, 2021 22:13
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AHH F/UGH posted:I don't actively wish anyone an unnatural death, no matter how awful they are i would much rather have a quick and relatively painless unnatural death than a long and torturous natural one, personally
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Dec 14, 2021 22:18
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Literally A Person posted:My folks split up when I was a youngin'. Kind of found out why when we found all of my mom's hidden vodka bottles all over my dad's house when cleaning it out for him to sell. My parents stayed together 'til my dad died and adult life has been a series of revelations about how hosed up my mom was all along and how good my dad was at making it all feel normal and tamping down on the craziest stuff. The amount of poo poo I've realized after he died that I'll never get to thank him for is stunning and upsetting. I just tell myself to try and embody the parts of him I admire most and do things he would be proud of.
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Dec 14, 2021 22:19
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My mom has a lot of problems but she's healthy in her organs at least. Brain forgetting, hearing muffled, turning very sedentary. She's 70 and living with my wife and I so I'm there to take care of her and will likely be there when she passes. This thread is sad and it's loving me up. Death is not among my favorite things.
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Dec 14, 2021 22:25
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=seRAiJRXLzE
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Dec 14, 2021 22:33
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down1nit posted:My mom has a lot of problems but she's healthy in her organs at least. Brain forgetting, hearing muffled, turning very sedentary. There are many ways of living and dying that are worse than death. Realize that eventually death is a release for your loved ones who suffer and although you will miss them it's the natural and correct thing to happen when the time comes. It's hard to wrap your mind around if you've never been in that situation, but it becomes apparent eventually as things progress. As the caretaker you will be exposed to a lot of associated/related people's reactions to death and decline and that can be way crazier and more traumatic than the actual event itself. The people who do the caretaking don't always realize this but they are a rare breed of person. It's not everyone who can take on that challenge and manage it effectively. You will be surprised who does and doesn't come through for you when the chips are down, but stepping up to be the one that takes care of them is the biggest gift you can give to anyone you care about when they need it the most.
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Dec 14, 2021 22:36
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the holy poopacy posted:i hate those dreams, but occasionally they're funny In my latest dream my brother and I were having some light conversation. I looked to the kitchen table and saw a plastic bag with some white powder in it. I said "I hope that isn't what it looks like" and my brother tried to make some joke about it. So I said "You're gonna go through all that and leave us again after you just came back?" and he says "You don't know what it's like, it's too difficult for me". And I say "You know I've been without my brother for 13 years, that isn't very easy either. So maybe you can try a little harder?"
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Dec 14, 2021 22:56
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I lost my mom to asphyxiation; she’d been suffering from dementia for several years prior and had dealt with lupus for over a decade before that. There is a bit of small comfort in that she’s not suffering but it still sucks. She was fairly young (late 50s) so it’s still sad to think about even if it’s been a few years. Condolences OP and everyone else
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Dec 14, 2021 23:22
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Mooey Cow posted:My big bro died so long ago, that not only am I the big brother now, I'm older than him than he was older than me. Every now and then I still have dreams that he didn't really die or he's somehow come back. I found my younger brother dead in my guest bathroom 12 years ago and I have those same types of dreams at least once a week. Some are really mundane, others are a bit more bizarre like he was an undercover agent who's been hiding until he showed up to a family Christmas or something like that. The weird thing is that he never spoke in any of them until last week. I've always woke up right when he showed up in the dream or it would be a dream where we were trying to be quiet for some reason (playing paintball, ghost hunting, etc) and he'd only nod or use other gestures. I wish I could find something with his voice on it, but we lost my parents' digital camcorder in Toronto's Chinatown area and he passed away just before smartphones took off. BTW, if anyone on here happened to "find" a Sony digital camcorder in Toronto back in 2002 with random family footage as well as two guys front-loading urinals in an Ohio rest stop and the footage is still in tact, I'll pay postage.
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Dec 14, 2021 23:23
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nvidiagouge posted:There are many ways of living and dying that are worse than death. Realize that eventually death is a release for your loved ones who suffer and although you will miss them it's the natural and correct thing to happen when the time comes. It's hard to wrap your mind around if you've never been in that situation, but it becomes apparent eventually as things progress. As the caretaker you will be exposed to a lot of associated/related people's reactions to death and decline and that can be way crazier and more traumatic than the actual event itself. The people who do the caretaking don't always realize this but they are a rare breed of person. It's not everyone who can take on that challenge and manage it effectively. You will be surprised who does and doesn't come through for you when the chips are down, but stepping up to be the one that takes care of them is the biggest gift you can give to anyone you care about when they need it the most. Thanks. I'm still sad but you're very right. I do as much as I can and she loves me for it. Tbh kinda lucked out in the caretaker aspect of her life, as I get a stipend to care for her, and, no poo poo: paid time off if I need a break. I am a part of the VA National Caregiver program which was signed into USA law last year, thanks to a Utah congressmember, strangely. It pays family to take care of Vets with service connected disabilities. I get a bit of assistance to pay for gas and groceries, and also a good support network if I need help with her somehow.
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Dec 15, 2021 00:29
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down1nit posted:Thanks. I'm still sad but you're very right. I do as much as I can and she loves me for it. Tbh kinda lucked out in the caretaker aspect of her life, as I get a stipend to care for her, and, no poo poo: paid time off if I need a break. It can be awkward but I recommend telling her everything you're thankful for that she made possible in your life. She will appreciate it and it will be less weight for you to carry emotionally for the rest of your life. I got so caught up in my dad's care that I didn't get to tell him everything I wanted, that's why I mention it.
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Dec 15, 2021 00:36
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Sid Vicious posted:i lost my best friend 11 years ago, he drove his car right into a transport truck, havent had the ability to really make friends in real life ever since. but im 11 years sober so its cool I lost the best friend I grew up with to drunk driving about 10 years ago. Dude missed the curve of the road, might have fallen asleep at the wheel and just drove off into a creek. It took a while to confront that particular grief.
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Dec 15, 2021 00:58
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Man this thread really makes me want counseling.
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Dec 15, 2021 01:27
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I'm coming up on 3 years since my best friend died in a car accident. It's taken a long time to get to a place where thinking about it doesn't hurt as much. He was a good dude, I still miss him every day.
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Dec 15, 2021 01:47
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nvidiagouge posted:It can be awkward but I recommend telling her everything you're thankful for that she made possible in your life. She will appreciate it and it will be less weight for you to carry emotionally for the rest of your life. I got so caught up in my dad's care that I didn't get to tell him everything I wanted, that's why I mention it. Quoting so people read it again.
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Dec 15, 2021 02:23
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My mom died in 2016 from lung cancer that metastasized to her brain. She went through treatment for over a year, so we all knew the end was coming and made our peace. She had a very dry sense of humor, and when she had a stroke the day before she passed, her last word was “something” in response to my panicked dad screaming “say something”. Mom was chill as hell even when actively dying. Miss her. 
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Dec 15, 2021 03:57
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Mooey Cow posted:My big bro died so long ago, that not only am I the big brother now, I'm older than him than he was older than me. Every now and then I still have dreams that he didn't really die or he's somehow come back. My boy T is in that same boat, and 30 years later it still visibly tears him up. He just wants his bro back.
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Dec 15, 2021 03:59
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My father passed away on November 16 after an incredibly short bout of Covid that none of us knew he had. It was the day after my birthday, no less. He had suffered several strokes throughout the years along with a couple of heart attacks, and yet he kept on living and joking and loving my mother. Because of his constant medical problems, we thought nothing of his symptoms, and neither did he, that is until it became apparent enough that something was amiss. It was the Friday after Veteran’s Day when he was having trouble standing and sitting up straight with slurred speech. We presumed he was having another mini-stroke and my mother called the paramedics while I was out running errands. The last thing I did for him was to sit him straight up in his chair. He said to me, “I feel great. There’s no pain.” I jokingly said, “Good. Go into the light.” because that’s the kind of dry gallows humor rapport we had. We both laughed, and he said sarcastically, “How funny.” and those were the last words I heard him speak. I left to run errands afterward and never saw him alive again. Later that day my mom got the call from the hospital that my father was Covid-positive. We couldn’t figure out how or when he got it because we were beyond careful around him, everyone including him was fully vaccinated, wore masks at all times, washed and sanitized hands and only took him out of the house if it was absolutely necessary since he was so immunocompromised. Nonetheless, the hospital assured us they would do everything possible to keep him well. It only took three days after his hospital admission for his health and lungs to deteriorate enough for us to get the call to say goodbye to him. I couldn’t go because I had a job interview for a better position at work (I took two weeks off unrelatedly for personal matters) and they would only let two people in anyway, so my mother and sister went. My interview was at 10:30 in the morning, and he was gone by 3 PM. It’s been nearly a month since he passed, and I still have trouble comprehending that he’s gone. Because of his health, I knew it was coming soon, but I was still unprepared for it. It was just so sudden. And because of Covid protocols, we only managed to set up his memorial service two weeks ago for this Saturday because funeral homes are swamped right now. It’s been rough for all of us, and I think I’m going to be an absolute mess at the service. For the record, all of us tested negative, and he could have only gotten it from an MRI scan my sister and I took him to two weeks prior, which is the general incubation period. Why none of us got sick is a mystery, and why it attacked him so ruthlessly is just another unanswered question. All I know is my father is gone from this Earth now, and it hurts. Peeps, hug your fathers and tell them you love them.
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Dec 15, 2021 04:49
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My last grandparent died of COVID (as did the two of the others, and the third died if heart failure in the '90s) and one of my cousins OD on some drug or other. No need to feel sorry for me -- I'm certainly not. Christmas is the worst time of year regardless.
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Dec 15, 2021 05:21
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dustin.h posted:My last grandparent died of COVID (as did the two of the others, and the third died if heart failure in the '90s) and one of my cousins OD on some drug or other. i wont feel sorry for you but ill still send you positive thoughts
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Dec 15, 2021 05:25
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nvidiagouge posted:There are many ways of living and dying that are worse than death. Realize that eventually death is a release for your loved ones who suffer and although you will miss them it's the natural and correct thing to happen when the time comes. It's hard to wrap your mind around if you've never been in that situation, but it becomes apparent eventually as things progress. As the caretaker you will be exposed to a lot of associated/related people's reactions to death and decline and that can be way crazier and more traumatic than the actual event itself. The people who do the caretaking don't always realize this but they are a rare breed of person. It's not everyone who can take on that challenge and manage it effectively. You will be surprised who does and doesn't come through for you when the chips are down, but stepping up to be the one that takes care of them is the biggest gift you can give to anyone you care about when they need it the most. good post
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Dec 16, 2021 06:14
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I’m dead inside or something. Just this hosed up reluctant acceptance to everyone around me dying. I guess a way to cope is to bypass despair and jump straight into being numb and avoidant. Have a relative with terminal cancer with maybe 8 months just out of the blue. Not sure how to appropriately reach out since I fear my being numb will catch through. Is that sociopathic?
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Dec 16, 2021 07:23
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Fine I’ll be real for a minute. My grandma died this year, she was a third parent for me growing up. Lots of vivid memories from me as a child and her doing these little kind gestures which are still perfectly preserved in my head. I can still hear her telling me that she loved me so, so, so much, to the ends of the earth. Near the end, her health was deteriorating gradually for a while. She was extremely private about her health concerns and didn’t seem to be proactive about it either when things were easily treatable. One day my mom, who had been shielding me from the reality of her living situation, told me that things were pretty grim in terms of her health and her quality of life since her son-turned-caregiver was extremely negligent. I lost my nerve at that news but played it cool until my mom left and I had time alone to bawl into my pillow. Eventually her state was such that I dreaded family get togethers because I couldn’t stand seeing her that weak. One Mother’s Day her and I had a moment together alone, and she told me in great detail how much she loved me. She was falling asleep as she said it and I really felt a tremendous fear of losing her. I knew she couldn’t see my eyes turning red. I spoke slowly and purposefully back so I wouldn’t burst out crying. I went to my car and drove it to a secluded area and let it all out afterwards. I remember the last time I saw her, my mind doing all it could to shield myself from seeing what cancer and time did to her. I think she understood I was scared and was why I became scarce towards the end. I can’t really pretend to say I’d do it differently again, because acknowledging a loved one’s decline is easily the scariest thing on the planet to me. When death came, it was mercifully quick. I remember being at work the day we all knew she was going to go. Mom didn’t allow us to go to the hospital, she didn’t want my brother or I to see my grandma so weak and broken. I remember calling my mom asking if she could put the phone up to my grandmas ear so I could tell her how much I loved her. She wouldn’t have been able to reply or even hear at that state, but whatever. It didn’t matter though, because I had called minutes after she passed. During the rosary and funeral, I couldn’t get the opportunity to sit alone next to my grandma in her casket so I could cry, which is what I wanted most that day. The reader at this point could probably guess that I kept a stiff upper lip during most of it. I’m working on that vulnerability-in-front-of-others thing in therapy. Her story ended badly and there’s a lot of anger I feel about how it turned out for her because it felt unfair. Im just glad there’s relief now. No more pain for her. There’s some desire that I wished I was more involved near the end and confront that fear, but I don’t have that strength of character yet. The dreams since then have had some therapeutic effect. They’ve been constant and vivid. It’s always of her being alive and healthy. For most of them, it’s a miraculous story where she didn’t actually die, or died but came back fully healthy. They’re nonsensical dreams and the tone is always cheerful and ecstatic. We’ve had conversations in those dreams that go from serious to light hearted and when I wake up I feel as if I got just a little more closure than the day before. Of course, they’re just dreams, but they provide me a level of healing that kind of surprises me. I’m already a wreck from writing all this and I don’t have the energy to check for grammar or readability. I want everyone else to know that I read their posts too and feel for them. I’m sorry for your losses.
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Dec 16, 2021 07:30
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Radirot posted:I’m dead inside or something. Just this hosed up reluctant acceptance to everyone around me dying. I guess a way to cope is to bypass despair and jump straight into being numb and avoidant. Have a relative with terminal cancer with maybe 8 months just out of the blue. Not sure how to appropriately reach out since I fear my being numb will catch through. Is that sociopathic? It's not sociopathic, people respond in different ways. My mother died around 2:30 am on mother's day a few years ago, and I broke down pretty bad after keeping it together until about that moment. Gotta keep going to talk to the doctor and nurse etc etc. It took awhile to deal with it mentally after so long taking care of a terminal cancer patient. I don't especially like mother's day anymore and it's been a thing in my relationship with a single parent. My brother OD'd a few months later and after the initial phone call I just went cold. I was surprised how well I kept going at the time, but objective observers said it looked like I was shopping for furniture so who knows. I also had some comments about it after the wake but it took awhile for it all to come down on me after a fast and the furious movie of all things. Being numb in surprise is perfectly normal. I'm also sure they don't need people wailing and tearing at themselves when they talk to relatives. Do read the room though, black humor isn't for everyone. But do talk to them. You may regret not. My mother and brothers birthdays are both in the middle of December and of course it's Christmas season, and now I don't talk to my father and his new lovely wife so it's kind of a poo poo time of year.
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Dec 16, 2021 07:37
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I’m sorry about your mom and brother. condolences to everyone really. gently caress.
RadiRoot fucked around with this message at 08:04 on Dec 16, 2021 |
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Dec 16, 2021 07:59
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I lost both my parents last year. They had purchased a tiny home down in Arizona to escape the winters up here, and both died there. My dad, mid January. He had ignored a lot of pressing medical issues, some from a general distrust of doctors and others from the belief that if one thing was ok with him, everything was. Well it turns out, if you ignore prostate issues, that eventually causes bladder problems, which causes kidney problems which then leads to everything else falling apart. The year before, he had a major health scare when his kidneys failed, but it seemed like aside from dialysis, things were improving. Well, we were wrong. Seems some stress had re-opened a stomach ulcer, and he was bleeding internally, which weakened him, causing breathing problems as his body wasn't able to get rid of fluid fast enough and it was gathering in his chest cavity. A palliative care nurse was with us when she told him he'd never recover, he just didn't have the strength. He made the decision to come home on hospice care. At first he seemed resigned, but he was so tired of the panic attacks from being unable to breathe, tired of hospital food, and just tired. Doctors gave him 3, maybe 4 days to live. I told him I'd see him later that night, and left the hospital to meet the hospice nurse, and help get a bed setup. Even had some food ready, he really wanted a milk shake and some fries. Hours later, hospital van shows up, and he is almost catatonic. Mom said that within an hour of signing the paperwork, he just kinda gave up. When they got home, I sat with her and we tried to talk to him, but he'd just mumble. I left that night, thinking that in the morning we'd have more time, but he died that morning. Mom said she'd been up all night next to him, and he had moments were he'd come too, but then he'd cry out and thrash. She gave him a lot of morphine to help calm him down. She was a nurse, she and I knew why they gave us that much morphine. I don't know how she had the strength. I had to head home a few days later, and I'd talk to mom every few days, and she said that after more then a year of worrying about him, she was finally able to rest. She picked up her hobbies, and we were making plans on what we'd do with the house, and how on the way home, we'd stop and visit some family. We were going to drive from Arizona back to Montana. She was so excited. Then, 2 weeks before I head down to pick her up, I get a call from her one morning, and she sounded..off. She said she had a cold and took some benadryl, but she didn't seem right. She mentioned she had to get some food ready for a pot luck, and we'd talk later. 2 days later, I get a call from a neighbor, they hadn't seen her in a bit, and they stopped by the house to see her on the floor. She'd died sometime that morning from a heart attack. She'd had heart issues before, even had a pace maker put in a year earlier, but all that seemed in the past. Guess we were wrong. She didn't suffer at least. She died 2 months to the day dad died. Which puts it right as covid started blowing up. I flew down on a mostly empty plane, was the only person on a shuttle van from the airport. I stayed in an empty hotel. I packed up as much as I could from their little place, and drove 1500 miles alone back home. I get home, and go into quarantine for 2 weeks, where I sat alone. A year and a half later, I moved back home. I think that might have been a mistake in someways. Too many memories here, especially this time of year. My mom was a crazy Christmas person, I have a loving mountain of christmas poo poo in the garage. I don't really like Christmas much anymore. Hard to be all joyful in the season when you are alone. I really miss them. I miss having the Sunday morning call with them, where dad barely paid attention because football was on, and mom would ramble on about some neighbor. It was dull, but I loved it as much as I got tired of it. So much more, like holy poo poo the amount of never ending paperwork, the bills, the estate stuff. If you have living parents and they don't have a solid will, get one. Even if you don't think there is anything to worry about, the legal system doesn't give a poo poo. Also, I still need to get their urns interred. They have a plot already, but its going to cost 3k for the marker and special vessel to stick some urns into. The vessel looks like a yeti cooler. Urns we got of Amazon, which by the way will gently caress your "You might like section" for a long time. Oh you bought one urn for your loved ones? Well you'll get 5% off if you order 3 or more. Sorry, this rambled a bit.
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Dec 16, 2021 08:21
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everyone should have a pile of cats
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Dec 16, 2021 08:59
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My dad got an Alzheimers diagnosis earlier this year, and I alternate between wondering what state he’ll be in next Christmas and hoping he dies of something quick first.
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Dec 16, 2021 13:24
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This thread got posted right as poo poo started to get bad for my mom this week and she's gone now. Some of the advice really helped me make sense of what was going on, thanks. e: Proficient Scoundrel posted:i ordered food delivery this week and they got my order wrong. sorry for ur loss Matryoshka SexDoll fucked around with this message at 21:10 on Dec 16, 2021 |
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Dec 16, 2021 21:07
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