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okay son here, cover yourself in these. "what is it?" small bells. this isn't like hunting deer. we need to make noise. we're bagging a librarian. |
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Jan 31, 2022 03:59
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| # ? Apr 29, 2024 13:15 |
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dendrologists make good eatin', and all you gotta do is call a maple an elm and they come runnin'. bag as many as you want, fill yer pot and freezer.
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Jan 31, 2022 04:00
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janitors are tricky, they're wily. spread too many empty snack packets and they'll enact a strike and you'll be empty handed for weeks. i find the best trick is fake a vomit accident, hold back, and when they get there with the bucket you strike.
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Jan 31, 2022 04:02
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*a beskirted intern trips, the c.e.o. rushes to aid standing her up, hands wandering* "careful my dear, next time you may trip into my l-" *a shotgun slug tears through his right oribtal bone*
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Jan 31, 2022 04:04
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plumbers are easy. just coat the whole underside of your sink in superglue before you let them in. they'll get stuck, and in their panic, forget they could wriggle out of the clothes. take this time to strike.
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Jan 31, 2022 04:05
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we don't hunt veterinarians. they are angels bold enough to walk among the filth of mortality, if only to heal those who's love we do not deserve.
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Jan 31, 2022 04:08
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Now for your conservative small business owner, we got a few lure options. Sure, you can go with the tried and true "minimum wage should be $15" call, but for the big ones you'll need somethin' stronger- I personally like the "I voted Democrat" attractive decoy or this "poor person owning a smartphone" scent. Honestly son, you mix all three, you could bag yourself a whole HOA meeting! |
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Jan 31, 2022 05:55
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cashiers are plentiful but they're not good eating. great use of them, however, is to give 'em a chair to set down and waiting for a manager to appear to chastise them. managers are good eating.
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Jan 31, 2022 06:02
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*a stern look crosses your father's face as you present these ideas* no, son. we only hunt cops in this family.
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Jan 31, 2022 10:25
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Father: *tying hotdogs onto the ends of string dangling from branches over pit traps* quick, son the factory shift will be over any minute now Son: *helping tie* yknow, I never knew being your mom was a job
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Jan 31, 2022 15:12
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Today I'm hunting job-hunters. *turns self in* Done! |
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Jan 31, 2022 15:25
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"Hoo boy," I remark louder than necessary. "I'm going to have to dismiss this software update notice. I'm too busy opening this e-mail attachment from an unknown sender." As I hear trundling and wheezing from the direction of the server room, I mentally pray that the steel cable I used for the snare will prove strong enough |
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Jan 31, 2022 16:13
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Crap, I caught a naval recruit. That's not a job, it's an adventure. I don't have a permit for those.
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Jan 31, 2022 22:33
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When hunting artists, always make sure the local game warden considers them to be real jobs.
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Jan 31, 2022 22:52
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super sweet best pal posted:When hunting artists, always make sure the local game warden considers them to be real jobs. Same problem with Etsy sellers! I had a few in my game bag and got nailed since they were considered "hobbyists" |
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Jan 31, 2022 23:14
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Bugs and Daffy keep attaching and removing a little sign that says "NOT" from a larger sign that says "Sex work is real work" |
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Jan 31, 2022 23:18
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drat astronauts keep getting snared in my poet traps.
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Jan 31, 2022 23:23
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(checks my measuring tape) Dang, we need to throw this one back. He's only working 38 hours a week so they don't have to give him benefits |
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Jan 31, 2022 23:28
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What's this in the trap? A telegraph operator?? I thought these went extinct decades ago. Maybe I can sell it to a museum. |
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Feb 1, 2022 00:21
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if you're looking to make a longcoat i gotta recommend professional athletes. linebackers and power forwards especially produce a poo poo tonne of leather
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Feb 1, 2022 01:38
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spying through my rifle, ready to close the deal, as I'm wondering whether "influencer" are fair game already
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Feb 1, 2022 01:55
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super sweet best pal posted:When hunting artists, always make sure the local game warden considers them to be real jobs. lmao
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Feb 1, 2022 04:28
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super sweet best pal posted:Crap, I caught a naval recruit. That's not a job, it's an adventure. I don't have a permit for those. lol
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Feb 1, 2022 06:19
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| # ? Apr 29, 2024 13:15 |
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Blowing the special caller that makes a sound like house ale being poured, I can hear the noise of an enormous belly shifting undergrowth. Looks like this is it. After years of hunting Darts pros I'm finally gonna bag a 501-pointer |
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Feb 1, 2022 09:24
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