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I sigh as I unsheath my Shun 10 inch fillet knife
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Feb 27, 2022 12:05
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And our final ingredient: an orphan's tears. Now, the modern adoption process being what it is, getting an all natural, wild-caught orphan can be a lengthy and difficult process. That's why I find that it is better and quicker to just make your own. Take one medium-sized child with one or two parents and...
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Feb 27, 2022 14:29
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Blurry Gray Thing posted:And our final ingredient: an orphan's tears.  I carefully write Chen Kinichi's name in the bottom of an ice cream maker with squid ink.
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Feb 27, 2022 15:12
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Anyone shrive the sanctified apron yet? No? Why the gently caress not, don't you know what happened last time someone didn't do it?!? What are you, new here or something?
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Feb 27, 2022 15:27
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"Avada Cuisine!" A flash of green light fills the stadium. The challenger crumples to the floor and lies still.
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Feb 27, 2022 16:50
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In the name of the Chairman, the commentator, and the Hattori I call out to the spirit realm!
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Feb 27, 2022 16:56
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OMG THIS NEW AV IS loving AMAZING
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Feb 27, 2022 16:57
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Iron Chef Rankings: 1. My boy Chen Kenichi. 2. Masaharu Morimoto 3. Rokusaburo Michiba 4. Hiroyuki Sakai 5. Koumei Nakamura 6. Yutaka Ishinabe (Quit after one season what a loser). 7. Masahiko Kobe. What kind of bitch rear end Iron Chef Italian loses a pasta battle. Dude could probably be summoned with can of expired Chef Boyardee. Wish I could rank him even lower.
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Feb 27, 2022 17:03
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Oh no! The iron chefs cannot possibly beat this dangerous foe! They must combine into the Ultimate Golden Chef now if they even hope to survive next episode!
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Feb 27, 2022 17:05
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Mr Luxury Yacht posted:Iron Chef Rankings: Well, he's dead after falling at one of his restaurants, so how do you feel now? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Masahiko_Kobe Gonna need a Ouija board to summon him
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Feb 27, 2022 19:19
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Whooping Crabs posted:Well, he's dead after falling at one of his restaurants, so how do you feel now? Was literally going to post this 
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Feb 27, 2022 19:39
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*lightning peels across the sky* We can bring him back.
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Feb 27, 2022 19:44
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Okay, this AV is making this thread too real
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Feb 27, 2022 19:46
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I put on my apron and chef hat
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Feb 27, 2022 20:23
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Today's theme ingredient! LIVE ELEPHANT! *curtain draws back, revealing an angry bull elephant that begins charging towards the kitchen* *iron chef sakai pulls an ancient blunderbuss from underneath the counter and begins his grim work*
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Feb 28, 2022 06:22
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Judging our competition today will be a team of expert spirit mediums and pop sensation Mariya Takeuchi
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Feb 28, 2022 06:59
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*begins making foie gras and salmon roe ice cream*
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Feb 28, 2022 07:11
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Feb 28, 2022 09:09
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Whooping Crabs posted:Well, he's dead after falling at one of his restaurants, so how do you feel now? quote:Originally believing that he would be a challenger, Kobe found out that he was to be an Iron Chef mere days before his departure from Italy Seems legit
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Feb 28, 2022 09:56
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I did an iron chef costume for Halloween once, no one got it Even got a vape pen to have smoke come out of a plate of yellow capsicum
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Feb 28, 2022 10:21
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I climb the staircase up the sacred Pyramid of the Sun in the ancient and holy city of Teotihuacan. I kneel before the altar, thanking the volunteer for their sacrifice. I supplicate to the gods up above, the Feathered Serpent and the Smoking Mirror, to answer my request. I plunge my obsidian dagger into the sacrifice, and tear out their heart. I hold in my hand the secret ingredient:
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Feb 28, 2022 10:27
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Making my offering of spicy bean paste to the gods of Kitchen Stadium, calling forth Chen Kinichi to smite my culinary enemies.
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Feb 28, 2022 17:25
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In a puff of blue corn tortilla chips and black bean and corn relish relish, Bobby Flay appears
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Feb 28, 2022 17:43
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Smugworth posted:In a puff of blue corn tortilla chips and black bean and corn relish relish, Bobby Flay appears The blackest magicks.
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Feb 28, 2022 17:44
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If memory serves, there was an ancient order of warrior-chefs known as the Black Butcher Gang. These chefs reached a level of cookery beyond mere mortal comprehension, transforming their own bodies into both ingredient and appliance. Although most of this order mysteriously disappeared in 1910, a single member fled to the United States and began his own dark school of cooking. Today we have the greatest student of this school, whose blasphemous cooking skills make the gods themselves weep in terror. Each dish he prepares is a culinary dream and nightmare wrapped in one, a meal designed to fill your belly and destroy your soul.
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Feb 28, 2022 17:53
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*prepares to put fish in ice cream machine*
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Feb 28, 2022 17:56
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Crouching Prawn Hidden Daikon
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Feb 28, 2022 23:30
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Fighting crime ALL OVER TOWN
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Mar 1, 2022 00:04
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The Bloop posted:*prepares to put fish in ice cream machine* https://twitter.com/michibot1/status/1497444201004474371?s=20&t=VjrNaHvgYWr0zW3K1zbQZw
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Mar 1, 2022 10:37
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Dude it’s just a clam bake. Like what kind of herb you guys smoke in Japan lol? Fuckin munchies gonna sway these judges I think heheheee. 
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Mar 1, 2022 11:15
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This show is nothing but commercial cultural appropriation. Don't even get me started on 'allez cuisine'. I'm starting a petition to cancel Iron Chef. Who's with me?
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Mar 1, 2022 12:04
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 carve those funny symbols on the left into your countertop, this one's good cause you don't need anything other than a sharp knife and a soft countertop
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Mar 1, 2022 12:15
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Mac and Cheese posted:
F
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Mar 1, 2022 16:10
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Okay, I have a great idea for Japan to create a bread solely associated with it, like French Bread and Italian Bread, "Ja-Pan" if you will. Now I think we HAVE to start with a rice base of some sort... ...wait, I think I'm in the wrong fantastical Japanese cooking show.
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Mar 1, 2022 17:45
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| # ? May 27, 2024 10:15 |
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Standing before a lonely gravestone in the middle of a secluded forest, I lay the ingredients at my feet. Salt. Pepper. Oregano. The three fundamental spices. The ritual is already beginning to work, I can hear sounds like a great hidden clockwork has begun to work inside the Earth. The banana peppers come next, followed by sweet potatoes and chives The hidden clock begins to grow louder and louder, threatening to tear the Earth itself apart at any moment. I need to finish this quickly, so I add the red peppers and olives. I can perceive the world shifting around me, dark figures leer at me from the hidden corners of reality. Good, that means all of this is working. I finally lay down the secret ingredient - pork chops. The clock strikes midnight, the bells begin to chime. The gravestone in front of me begins to glow with an unearthly blue light. I can smell ozone and the distinct smell of southwestern cooking. The dark figures begin to retreat now, my wicked work is nearly done. The ground in front of me begins to expand and contract as if a great pair of lungs were buried underneath, struggling for air. A hand bursts forth, followed quickly by its mate. A figure stands before me now, dressed in his professional vestments and ready to do the work I have summoned him for. I glance at the gravestone as it begins to crumble. BOBBY FLAY MAY HE REST IN PEACE WAS ALWAYS KIND OF AN rear end in a top hat BUT A DECENT CHEF Bobby Flay and I lock eyes and he knows why I have summoned him forth from the great beyond. I silently point towards the mountaintop where Kitchen Stadium is located. The lights are on. He begins to slowly march towards it. God help me, I think, he better not try using the ice cream machine this time.
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Mar 1, 2022 18:56
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