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if god's so cool why hasn't he sucked me off????
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Jun 22, 2022 00:27
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Sorry to necro this thread a bit, but I was 'on vacation' when this came up and I wanted to talk about something;Mescal posted:Mauled 42 of the boys. 42. That's the bit that cracks me up. AHH F/UGH posted:wow it's almost like it's a bunch of made up cobbled together bullshit, nutty Possibly, but, as is often the case, goons are pretty quick on the trigger and real happy to dismiss the Torah/Bible as hoohah nonsense, and that's cool. I'm gonna preface what I'm about to explain with the normal "I'm NOT religious, and I'm not really defending religious texts, I don't actually believe in spirituality on any supernatural level" as my standard disclaimer. Only that before you go "LMAO THIS IS SO DUMB", sometimes there's more to it. Ok. So. There's 42 bears. Why are there 42 bears? Anytime you come across what seems to be a weird rear end number (or a particularly large one) that seems out of place when scanning over the bible, or see something like this story quoted, keep in mind that in Hebrew, often times numbers meant something. Numerology in an actual, true sense of the word. Not a 'hoohah mystic' sense (though, sometimes ok that too). But sometimes it actually MEANT something, or was a reference to something else. Sometimes when you read 'An army killed 88,004 soldiers' it just means "They killed a poo poo load of dudes guys. Like more than we could count lol." BUT, in THIS case, let's look at our 42 here. In Hebrew, 42 looks like this: מב. That is 'Mem Bet'. In the book of Numbers (the book that talks about Moses leading the Israelites out of exile), Mem Bet can be used in Hebrew to also to express "They journeyed from" one place to another, it's the same meaning. 'Coincidentally' during the 40 years in exile that the Israelites wandered, they camped 42 times... Also coincidentally, one of the 'secret' and unutterable names of God is, of course, 42 letters long (according to Kabbalists). The idea is that the name is 'hidden' in the beginning of the Torah and starts at one letter and continues on for the following 42. It 'travels' from that letter onward. Look don't ask me that's just what I found out by reading poo poo, ok? So, to sum it up; Moses traveled across the wilderness. How many times did he camp? 42. Elisha traveled to Bethel. How many kids did the bears kill? 42. God's name starts at one letter and travels to the end of the letters in it. How many letters? 42. Now, is all of this horseshit? Yeah. I mean, it doesn't change anything. But what it does indicate is that there's a meaning written into this story that we don't get. There's an inside joke, or a reference being made that's way over our heads that the people the story was originally told for would totally have gotten. At the time this was told, if you heard "Hey man those bears got 42 of those bastards" You would have said "Aww yeah, I gotcha. That means God got 'em" OR something similar, it would have been apparent to them at the time. It wasn't just a random thing plucked from the air. There was a reason poo poo like this was kept and written down, in other words. And so it might seem like laughable nonsense to us TODAY, to just say "haha stupid story about some fuckin' bears" can make you seem silly.
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Jun 23, 2022 16:03
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douglas adams... was god?
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Jun 23, 2022 16:09
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Oh, so this means the answer to life, the universe, and everything in "The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy" was God all along. What is it with british authors and putting christian allegories in everything?
Yaldabaoth fucked around with this message at 16:18 on Jun 23, 2022 |
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Jun 23, 2022 16:14
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Yaldabaoth posted:Oh, so this means the answer to life, the universe, and everything in "The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy" was God all along. What is it with british authors and putting christian allegories in everything? In a lot of Asian languages, "42" also means "die", so...
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Jun 23, 2022 16:15
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I. M. Gei posted:In a lot of Asian languages, "42" also means "die", so... "What is the answer to life, the universe, and everything?" "To die for God, which is what the bible has been saying all along"
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Jun 23, 2022 16:17
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mods move this thread to another subforum
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Jun 25, 2022 20:12
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They kissed JEsus feet and then JEsus had herpes on his feet.
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Jun 25, 2022 20:14
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Tha simplex
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Jun 25, 2022 20:14
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Ah, so thats whats up with that Sephora store
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Jun 25, 2022 21:28
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Devils Affricate posted:There's a lot of "kissing of feet" in the Bible. Were they talking about blowjobs?? No they meant footjobs, please pay attention.
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Jun 25, 2022 22:11
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Lot should've let his neighbors gently caress those angels imo.
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Jun 25, 2022 22:25
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Angels are dicks anyway
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Jun 25, 2022 22:38
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Panic! At The Tesco posted:if god's so cool why hasn't he sucked me off???? Could god create a dick so small he couldn't suck it?
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Jun 25, 2022 22:47
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Nice Guy Patron posted:Lot should've let his neighbors gently caress those angels imo. 
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Jun 25, 2022 23:45
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That part in the bible where they chopped up a hooker and mailed her body to every tribe.
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Jun 25, 2022 23:46
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Edmund Sparkler posted:That part in the bible where they chopped up a hooker and mailed her body to every tribe. Which part was that
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Jun 26, 2022 01:17
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it took a long time for the monotheistic version of the abrahamic religions we know today to fully solidify and there were a lot of closely related cultural traditions and competing religions that had things like human sacrifice or super macho war deities or like, naked lady statues and free prostitutes people were superstitious and mostly illiterate. convincing people not to bow down to graven images because an invisible all powerful being said not to was tricky. How do you explain an abstract concept? weeding out syncretism where bits and pieces of past practices got in the way was hard, so a story where they gave up human sacrifice for another practice like circumcision is going to be a bit of a mess “I the lord your God am totally the toughest you guys, and hey don’t, kill kids wtf who does that. Also clean your gross dicks maybe. I don’t know. Quit worshiping cows they’re food.”
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Jun 26, 2022 05:38
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The Residents made a whole album out of lesser known Bible stories and it owns bones : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VSbBwMul5Bo
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Jun 26, 2022 05:40
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Big Beef City posted:Which part was that https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Levite%27s_concubine
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Jun 26, 2022 05:53
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Lol, Big beef citied again.
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Jun 26, 2022 05:54
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naem posted:
Are you talking about the golden calf? I'm iffy on that one. I think it's more about iconoclasm than monotheism. I lean toward the opinion that the golden calf was just a statue of God. I think if it were meant to be a different god they'd have named it. YHWH was a bull. Sometimes. There's a famous piece of pottery depicting/labeled "YHWH and his Asherah," that's His wife, they're both bovine, they both have a penis, and then there are two smaller less anthropomorphic bovines with penises and the smaller one is sucking the bigger one's penis.
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Jun 26, 2022 09:23
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