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Magnus Archive figured out that opiates hosed them up pretty good so grab some percadoodles and pop that neck out should sort itself out pretty quick.
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Aug 30, 2022 02:53
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| # ? May 27, 2024 11:17 |
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he's actually Dracula's monster, op
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Aug 30, 2022 03:06
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Wife of Dracula's Monster was the best one.
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Aug 30, 2022 03:07
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I always imagine selling "vampire safe" sunblock door to door that is actually just garlic paste. Naturally dressed like a vampire salesman. Then standing in the town square at dawn to count my kill streak as they come screaming outdoors reeling from the garlic paste they smeared on their big dumb faces and bursting into flames when the sun hits them. The village smells of roasted garlic for centuries. 
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Aug 30, 2022 09:55
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It’s not that hard you guys jeez. You just pull Crysanthemum’s diamond, tell the acting 12 vampires to suck their own dick, opening a portal in the adder memory, cut the heads off all 57 demons resident in memory with the sword of Damascus, spend about 3.7 million to make the house cute, then trigger the adder and force a ground state while the adder is still awash with 
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Aug 30, 2022 11:06
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if a dracula is standing in front of an open door and they've not been invited in, and you run up and shoulder barge them from behind, is it just like meeting a brick wall or what
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Aug 30, 2022 12:41
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Hammerite posted:if a dracula is standing in front of an open door and they've not been invited in, and you run up and shoulder barge them from behind, is it just like meeting a brick wall or what IMPORTANT: it must not be your house, or it just counts as inviting them in, but more rudely than normal
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Aug 30, 2022 12:42
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It's like getting pushed into a wood chipper, you'll have to replace half your furniture due to fanger bits
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Aug 30, 2022 12:58
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Can a vampire when in bat form, fly over running water? Like, is he a normal (vampire) bat or what? Could a bird of prey take him out if he's just trying to flap his way home after an evening out?
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Aug 31, 2022 02:17
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I feel like a lot of ppls questions in this thread could be easily answered by watching a few episodes of Scooby Doo. 
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Aug 31, 2022 02:20
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I'm not trying to trick a run down amusement park janitor dressed up like a vampire. I need real rear end dracula flim flam strategies
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Aug 31, 2022 02:23
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Has anyone just tried burying a vampire in another, larger vampire? Like I haven't done the math on this or anythin, but my gut is telling me this would probably work.
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Aug 31, 2022 09:04
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so like a crampire?
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Aug 31, 2022 10:40
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You stack the vampires like a log cabin then using some small sticks as kindling start to build a bed of coals that will ignite the stacked vampires.
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Aug 31, 2022 15:49
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vaginite posted:Can you even set your age to like 500 years on tinder? How does the half your age plus 7 rule work? Do you ever get weird looks when you're withdrawing your IRA you started in 1870? Do social security payments keep coming? you’d have to set up a trust and also create fake ssn numbers for yourself to pretend to be your own son and grandson and inherit from yourself with compound interest in a couple lifetimes you’ll have enough cash to pay for some pretty high quality legal help who won’t ask too many questions. you’ll probably also want to keep a lot of like gold doubloons and ruby encrusted goblets around your crypt to stay liquid as a backup just in case
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Sep 3, 2022 22:03
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JediTalentAgent posted:Think about it: Who is investing in silver? Vampires. They're hoarding it to keep it out of the hands of the common man. This is a fool's errand, as long as they keep driving up the price of silver, previously borderline silver deposits will become economically viable to extract, adding to the net amount of accessible silver.
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Sep 3, 2022 22:33
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naem posted:you’ll probably also want to keep a lot of like gold doubloons and ruby encrusted goblets around your crypt to stay liquid as a backup just in case Well, yea the goblets will be filled with liquid. blood. 
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Sep 3, 2022 23:04
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I tried to update the firmware on my dracula but it didn't finish before morning so now its corrupted and my dracula won't boot (it's night time again). Pls someone help me get my dracula in DFU mode
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Sep 3, 2022 23:17
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ITT a bunch of draculas posting imo
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Sep 3, 2022 23:26
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Sorry to burst your bubble but none of these theories are true. You gotta turn off automatic time zones on their phone and set it to the opposite day/night schedule.
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Sep 3, 2022 23:27
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bossy lady posted:I tried to update the firmware on my dracula but it didn't finish before morning so now its corrupted and my dracula won't boot (it's night time again). Pls someone help me get my dracula in DFU mode Just gotta flip the switch in the back of your dracula for a hard reboot. If it doesn't work, throw it in the ditch and get a witch.
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Sep 4, 2022 00:04
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My Dracula sparkles in the sun please help I am worried.
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Sep 4, 2022 00:11
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syntaxfunction posted:My Dracula sparkles in the sun please help I am worried. Is it still under warranty? Can you return it???
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Sep 4, 2022 00:26
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syntaxfunction posted:My Dracula sparkles in the sun please help I am worried. I'm sorry to tell you but a sparkling dracula means that you are locked into a centuries-long relationship with it while a werewolf instantly falls in love with your infant child
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Sep 4, 2022 00:28
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dr_rat posted:Is it still under warranty? Can you return it??? I keep asking it when the warranty is in effect and it just does moody monologues that don't make any sense, and pausing awkwardly for effect. If warranty won't cover it will a Frankenstein's Repair be able to fix it? Or should I toss it? I'll be honest, I wasn't a fan of a lot of the design choices in this model but it was new and seemed the thing at the time. Edit MrQwerty posted:I'm sorry to tell you but a sparkling dracula means that you are locked into a centuries-long relationship with it while a werewolf instantly falls in love with your infant child Ah gently caress, I don't want that, this is like having Incel Pride stickers on my laptop. I'm just gonna throw it in a dumpster, I am not dealing with this.
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Sep 4, 2022 00:30
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syntaxfunction posted:Ah gently caress, I don't want that, this is like having Incel Pride stickers on my laptop. I'm just gonna throw it in a dumpster, I am not dealing with this. It's too late, dracula babies incubate in weeks
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Sep 4, 2022 00:33
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Have a priest bless the water content of the vampire's body, thereby exploding them. If that doesn't work, the vampire kills the priest, so it's win/win. Vampire exploits are pretty funny. I read a short story about a vampire in Vlad's day, trying to sneak past a city guard. When the guard first saw the vampire creeping up, he basically eyerolled, opened his coat to show a crucifix, and told the vampire to piss off. Like vampires are just another ho-hum everyday danger, just keep some silver handy, nbd.
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Sep 4, 2022 00:50
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The Zombie Guy posted:Like vampires are just another ho-hum everyday danger, just keep some silver handy, nbd. This is how it is with me and seelie faeries. They're always around, but I just make sure to leave out some trail mix and they snack themselves into contentment and I don't have to worry about them playing tricks. It's easy and they don't even eat very much.
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Sep 4, 2022 02:26
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If you suck them back whilst they suck you, you become the vampire and they become the human. Use this knowledge wisely...
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Sep 4, 2022 04:32
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Colonel Cancer posted:If you suck them back whilst they suck you, you become the vampire and they become the human. Use this knowledge wisely... holy poo poo
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Sep 4, 2022 04:33
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syntaxfunction posted:I keep asking it when the warranty is in effect and it just does moody monologues that don't make any sense, and pausing awkwardly for effect. We told you not to buy these off-brand vampires! Get the real Dracula® or just stick to disposable wolfmen / manwolves. Heck you're not gonna listen to this either. Next time you'll come back with a badly-written bondage fetish character, and we're gonna have to tell you that one isn't even a vampire at all!
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Sep 5, 2022 01:28
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dr_rat posted:Has anyone just tried burying a vampire in another, larger vampire? Like I haven't done the math on this or anythin, but my gut is telling me this would probably work. What if you put a gremlin inside a Dracula inside a Frankenstein, like a big turducken? Would its powers combine?
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Sep 5, 2022 03:33
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No of course not that's stupid. Do you even understand what a Frankenstein is? Now if you sewed a dracula and a gremlin onto a Frankenstein then you'd be onto something.
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Sep 5, 2022 03:38
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Oooh, wait, I know! Give the vampire a lot of blood to drink right before dawn, so during the day he has to get up to pee.
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Sep 5, 2022 05:35
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AKZ posted:Well, yea the goblets will be filled with liquid. blood. you jest but waking from a 100 year slumber to find that your ancestral crypt was paved over and your assets frozen due to poor accounting help and now you’re clawing your way up through the floor of a seven eleven instead of being greeted for an orgy
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Sep 6, 2022 18:40
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Do the reverse vampire garlic sunscreen trick. First, make sure you are a vampire. Second, sell regular sunscreen to humans as vampire-repelling sunscreen. Leave. Those who bought the sunscreen will not be protected, and you can feed on them at your convenience. And you can also feed on the cheapskates because they have invited you into their home for your sales pitch. Collect blood at a later date. Always wear a vampire condom (dental dam) when feeding on garlic lovers. Happy hunting 
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Sep 6, 2022 19:01
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| # ? May 27, 2024 11:17 |
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Sike! That was a fake post by the Felonious Vampire Anti-Reaving Tactical Squad (FVART Squad) and if you got caught and your mouth is drooling for blood, you MUST hang up your internetting device and call the Parasitic Energy Necrotic Issuance Council of Southern Alabama (PENICS) for further guidance on turning yourself in. You have committed vampire crimes and should go to jail to think about what you did and why you are so easy to scam, seriously what a dummy you are! There will be no conjugular visits.
Wilkins Micawber fucked around with this message at 19:40 on Sep 6, 2022 |
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Sep 6, 2022 19:22
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