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Charles Bukowski
Aug 26, 2003

Taskmaster 2023 Second Place Winner

Grimey Drawer
From 06 to 08 or so a nice group of us goons had a webcam chat group on Stickam. It was a very cool group of people, and a couple jerks(and jerkasses). I managed a bowling alley at the time and used to close up, log into stickam on the laptop and get drunk at work with the goons. Stealing the motel next doors free WiFi as well as golden wedding whiskey from the bar.

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Zeluth
May 12, 2001

by Fluffdaddy
Three things to unpack. They are called pins.

Charles Bukowski
Aug 26, 2003

Taskmaster 2023 Second Place Winner

Grimey Drawer

Zeluth posted:

Three things to unpack. They are called pins.

Yep, and there's 5 of em.

Super-NintendoUser
Jan 16, 2004

COWABUNGERDER COMPADRES
Soiled Meat
My grandmother lived in a very dangerous city near a side of my family I don't really see much. When she died I traveled to her funeral where I got to meet several cousins that I hadn't met before. One of them was grimacing in pain a bit when he moved so I asked him if he was ok.

Turns out he was at a bowling alley, and the guy in the next lane was punching his (the guys, not my cousin's) girlfriend in the face, so my cousin stepped into intervene, my cousin is pretty big, so the guy backed down and got thrown out of the alley.

The guy waited in the parking lot for my cousin and his wife to leave, and jumped him and stabbed my cousin in the side. The cops came, and my cousin tried to explain what happened, but the guy and his girl friend said my cousin started a fight outside and the guy stabbed him in self defense, so no charges were filed or anything.

Thanks for listening to my one bowling alley anecdote.

Doc Fission
Sep 11, 2011



Bowling is very fun. When I was in high school I took the stoner kids' PE option which was called "Recreational Games" and we'd go to a bowling alley once or twice a week. I wasn't very good then, but I'm a lot better as an adult and it's probably because that class was foundational. :)

I'm still not great because I have weak noodle arms, but bowling is a great way to spend time with friends and house terrible beer.

Bargearse
Nov 27, 2006

🛑 Don't get your pen🖊️, son, you won't be 👌 needing that 😌. My 🥡 order's 💁 simple😉, a shitload 💩 of dim sims 🌯🀄. And I want a bucket 🪣 of soya sauce☕😋.
I was a league bowler for a few years.

Not a good bowler or anything though.

Charles Bukowski
Aug 26, 2003

Taskmaster 2023 Second Place Winner

Grimey Drawer
That can be a good thing when a lot of league is just how well you do compared to your average. Way easier to get a hot streak as an average bowler and earn a poo poo ton of pins over avg for you and your team.

Easy to win a pins over avg pot once a night every night if your booze balance gets fucky and you throw away the rest of your night. Gotta get a good song going on the lanes stereo.

bagmonkey
May 13, 2003




Grimey Drawer
I'm gonna take lady bagmo to the bowling alley soon thanks OP

Bargearse
Nov 27, 2006

🛑 Don't get your pen🖊️, son, you won't be 👌 needing that 😌. My 🥡 order's 💁 simple😉, a shitload 💩 of dim sims 🌯🀄. And I want a bucket 🪣 of soya sauce☕😋.

Charles Bukowski posted:

That can be a good thing when a lot of league is just how well you do compared to your average. Way easier to get a hot streak as an average bowler and earn a poo poo ton of pins over avg for you and your team.

Easy to win a pins over avg pot once a night every night if your booze balance gets fucky and you throw away the rest of your night. Gotta get a good song going on the lanes stereo.

For me it was really just an excuse to hang out with some friends, meet some new people and drink beer.

What other sport is there where you can drink beer while you play?

WAR CRIME GIGOLO
Oct 3, 2012

The Hague
tryna get me
for these glutes

Bargearse posted:

For me it was really just an excuse to hang out with some friends, meet some new people and drink beer.

What other sport is there where you can drink beer while you play?
Golf

Bargearse
Nov 27, 2006

🛑 Don't get your pen🖊️, son, you won't be 👌 needing that 😌. My 🥡 order's 💁 simple😉, a shitload 💩 of dim sims 🌯🀄. And I want a bucket 🪣 of soya sauce☕😋.

Yeah but golf suffers from the problem of being golf

WithoutTheFezOn
Aug 28, 2005
Oh no
Dart leagues play at bars. That should be a clue.

bagmonkey
May 13, 2003




Grimey Drawer

Bargearse posted:

For me it was really just an excuse to hang out with some friends, meet some new people and drink beer.

What other sport is there where you can drink beer while you play?

Pool I guess? Pool was always my Midwestern Winter Sport but there's like zero pool halls left in SE MI, big time RIP

Athanatos
Jun 7, 2006

Est. 1967
In High School we'd travel around to bowling alleys to play pool since it was 50/50 if a bar would let us in just to play.

Pool and Drinking are 100% the Midwestern Winter Sports, bagmonkey nailed it.

BIG FLUFFY DOG
Feb 16, 2011

On the internet, nobody knows you're a dog.


Going to bowl with my coworkers rn.

bagmonkey
May 13, 2003




Grimey Drawer
Also you guys reminded me, my work holiday party is bowling at the united state's longest continually running bowling alley and it's gonna own cuz they have the best pizza

Athanatos
Jun 7, 2006

Est. 1967
Is there one company who built all the bowling alleys or does it just so happen the exact perfect layout for bowling, bar, and arcade is the same thing?

Rivethead
Feb 22, 2008

Charles Bukowski posted:

You can order your own bowling shoes and ball, and insist you only ever throw Your Ball. I have two 5-pin balls that I try to only ever use. Besides germs, you want to get used to the weight so that you're not using incorrect force based.on what you're used to. I went to bowling camp as a kid and I coached some youth bowling. drat shame it's a dying dead sport, leagues are down because people don't want to commit their time every week and pay a few bucks for several hours of fun and competition. We watched people drop out and just sit at home on their rear end instead.

Dunno if youth sports are down in general, but between when I started at 7 and by the time I took over managing the place at 20, we lost every single youth bowler. The kids aged out and none of them became adult bowlers. No kids replaced them. I started in the adult leagues when I was 13, good source of pocketmoney if you're into illegal gambling.

It was awesome to walk out with 50 bucks from a pins over average or high game pot.

I'm in northern California and it's the opposite of that here. You can't walk into a bowling alley and bowl whenever you want to. There is so much league bowling going on that all the lanes are full all night either from competition or team practices, and that's every day. It really sucks if you aren't a league bowler and you want to go have some cheap fun.

Doctor Butts
May 21, 2002

Every time I buy a new pair of tennis shoes I go to the local bowling alley to see if any part of the shoe reacts to black light. Everyone knows me there and when I get there they all yell "Hey it's shoe Bob! How are the new shoes looking?"

I try to smile because I know they're just trying to be nice but it really upsets me because my name is Robert, not Bob.

Literally A Person
Jan 1, 1970

Smugworth Wuz Here

Do not like this map that says I am in the middle of a bowling center

WAR CRIME GIGOLO
Oct 3, 2012

The Hague
tryna get me
for these glutes

Athanatos posted:

Is there one company who built all the bowling alleys or does it just so happen the exact perfect layout for bowling, bar, and arcade is the same thing?

You hire a bowlcritech

BIG FLUFFY DOG
Feb 16, 2011

On the internet, nobody knows you're a dog.


BIG FLUFFY DOG posted:

Going to bowl with my coworkers rn.

UPDATE: I’m in last place with the bowling score but in first with beers had

Blow
Feb 10, 2004

I had to do an onsite software install for a client back in the day. A bowling alley! That's cool I thought. Something different. The office was directly behind the narrow alleyway at the back of the lanes where all the pin setting machines and behind the scenes magic happens.

It was intolerable. Hard to concentrate. Had to yell to ask the client anything. The loving noise was insane. So loud. An unseen constant intermittent random smashing of balls into pins. I'd be tapping away and there would be a bit of a lull, I'd relax a little, then Bang! Smash!

As I was finishing up the install I asked yelling "Don't you find it a bit loud in here mate?"
"Oh yeah. I forgot. I've got earplugs in." he yells back.

My ears were ringing for quite a while after.

bagmonkey
May 13, 2003




Grimey Drawer

Athanatos posted:

Is there one company who built all the bowling alleys or does it just so happen the exact perfect layout for bowling, bar, and arcade is the same thing?

there's several different layouts I've run across, I've even been to a bowling alley that doesn't have a bar!!!

Smugworth
Apr 18, 2003

Thesaurus.com lists "lane" as a synonym for "alley," yet a "bowling alley" is actually a collection of "bowling lanes."


Wild stuff.

Literally A Person
Jan 1, 1970

Smugworth Wuz Here

Smugworth posted:

Thesaurus.com lists "lane" as a synonym for "alley," yet a "bowling alley" is actually a collection of "bowling lanes."


Wild stuff.

wow.

Internetjack
Sep 15, 2007

oh god how did this get here i am not good with computers
Top Cop
A couple of winters ago the whole family came up to visit for Christmas and New Years time frame. Mom, dad, brother, sister, BIL, SIL, and niece. All hanging out in the same house, but it was a cold and rainy few days. We had to get out, someone suggested we go bowling. I knew there was an alley somewhere in town but had never been there. We look it up, give them a call, "yeah its a bit busy but should be able to get you a lane."

We go, and this place is packed. Easily 200 people there. Besides the lanes, the bar and kitchen dining area, the arcade (Pacman and Centipede cabinets, I poo poo you not), the pool tables; there was also a kid's room. A big one. It had one of those bouncy castles, a tube and slide maze, ball pit, etc.

We ate pizza, hot dogs, curly fries, etc. And we killed a few pitchers of beer. I wasn't driving and I ended up with about 4 20oz beers in me.

I bowled extremely well, at least for me, having not bowled in decades.

My niece did not want to bowl, she was around 7 yo at the time. So we all took turns watching her in the kid's room; where she quickly hooked up with a couple of other kids to play with. On my shift I'm in there at one of the tables drinking this huge beer. A women asks if she can sit down, single mom and pretty good looking. Of course. Being a goon I totally failed to get a name or phone number, but we had fun chatting while we watched the kids playing.

It was a really fun afternoon; just seeing this thriving public place in our podunk town. Very strong family vibe going on. I got buzzed as heck as well, so it was a good, cold, rainy, drunken day at the bowling alley.

Athanatos
Jun 7, 2006

Est. 1967

bagmonkey posted:

there's several different layouts I've run across, I've even been to a bowling alley that doesn't have a bar!!!

This feels strange. No reason for a bar to be in every place of bowling, but one without one feels wrong.

Smugworth posted:

Thesaurus.com lists "lane" as a synonym for "alley," yet a "bowling alley" is actually a collection of "bowling lanes."


Wild stuff.

We've all learned something today and grown as humans. Thank you smugworth

BIG FLUFFY DOG
Feb 16, 2011

On the internet, nobody knows you're a dog.


BIG FLUFFY DOG posted:

UPDATE: I’m in last place with the bowling score but in first with beers had

UPDATE UPDATE: Got a strike. I'm now second to last.

Internetjack
Sep 15, 2007

oh god how did this get here i am not good with computers
Top Cop

BIG FLUFFY DOG posted:

UPDATE UPDATE: Got a strike. I'm now second to last.

You can do it! 3rd to last, easily!

Charles Bukowski
Aug 26, 2003

Taskmaster 2023 Second Place Winner

Grimey Drawer
Oh, another cool thing about 5 pin is that the pins are worth more points, so a perfect game is 450. Bigger number!

Hyrax Attack!
Jan 13, 2009

We demand to be taken seriously

The alley we’d go to in high school had colorful animations for strikes, turkeys, etc, and allowed you to change your score after a frame. During a casual match going into the 10th frame we changed our scores to be perfect, to try to see the 300 game animation although this would require bowling a turkey as it didn’t show animations if you changed your score mid-frame. My buddy got it done and we enjoyed the dancing pins losing their minds. When we went to pay the clerk looked at our scores and gave us an odd glance, then shrugged as he didn’t seem to want to ask about it and we weren’t asking to go on the high score wall.

WAR CRIME GIGOLO
Oct 3, 2012

The Hague
tryna get me
for these glutes

I like to 2 finger bowl with a black widow hammer.

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bagmonkey
May 13, 2003




Grimey Drawer

Athanatos posted:

This feels strange. No reason for a bar to be in every place of bowling, but one without one feels wrong.

It closed during the 2008 recession but it was extremely weird and the vibes were very off. Mind you, that was before Michigan's 2010 smoking ban too, so it was basically ex-alcoholic chain smoking hang out spot. Which is still incredibly midwestern

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