i got fired from the discount calendar store

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > i got fired from the discount calendar store

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Costco Meatballs: Oct 21, 2022; by Pragmatica

I got fired from the discount calendar store, I always could only count on myself.

# ? Jan 17, 2023 05:03

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# ? May 12, 2024 19:48

BIG FLUFFY DOG: Feb 16, 2011; On the internet, nobody knows you're a dog.

BAGS FLY AT NOON posted:

All chaps are assless, which you�d know if you didn�t get fired from the discount dictionary store.

i just called the discount calendar store. they're running out of you!

# ? Jan 17, 2023 05:22

Zeniel: Oct 18, 2013

I got fired from the discount calendar store, now I can't even get a date.

# ? Jan 17, 2023 15:06

ManBoyChef: Aug 1, 2019; Deadbeat Dad

I got fired from the discount calender store, turns out they hate it when you form a union with the janitor

# ? Jan 17, 2023 15:13

Mega64: May 23, 2008; I took the octopath less travelered,

And it made one-eighth the difference.

I got fired from the discount calendar store, they said I was stuck in the past after I kept jizzing on expired calendars.

# ? Jan 17, 2023 20:46

BIG FLUFFY DOG: Feb 16, 2011; On the internet, nobody knows you're a dog.

I loving hate working at the discount calendar store. Counting the days until retirement.

# ? Jan 17, 2023 20:53

hot cocoa on the couch: Dec 8, 2009

Mega64 posted:

I got fired from the discount calendar store, they said I was stuck in the past after I kept jizzing on expired calendars.

having a hard time with the pent up one liners now that qcs uis closed, eh

# ? Jan 17, 2023 20:56

flubber nuts: Oct 5, 2005

Man says to Doctor, "Doctor" I have a problem with my 'B*ttom'
Doctor: Let me Check
MAN: can the 💋'Nurse'💋 check in stead
Doctor: ok NURSE come in...

NURSE... is a MAN! with a 'DISCOUNT CALENDAR'

Moral of the Story: NURSE... is a MAN! with a 'DISCOUNT CALENDAR'

# ? Jan 17, 2023 21:31

Panic! At The Tesco: Aug 19, 2005; FART

FAT DAVE'S DISCOUNT CALENDARS

# ? Jan 17, 2023 21:40

X JAKK: Sep 1, 2000; We eat the pig then together we BURN

Im just a simple man that wants some easy way to keep track of the passing days, but I dont have a lot of money.

When will there be a store for me?

# ? Jan 17, 2023 23:44

WAR CRIME GIGOLO: Oct 3, 2012; The Hague
tryna get me
for these glutes

I got fired from the discount calxner ator for managing my banging her own Gingerbread.

# ? Jan 17, 2023 23:45

Funky See Funky Do: Aug 20, 2013; STILL TRYING HARD

X JAKK posted:

Im just a simple man that wants some easy way to keep track of the passing days, but I dont have a lot of money.

When will there be a store for me?

Sorry buddy but money makes the world stay stationary at the centre of the universe.

# ? Jan 17, 2023 23:52

Tinestram: Jan 13, 2006; Excalibur? More like "Needle"; Grimey Drawer

I asked ChatGPT to write a joke about being fired from the discount calendar store

ChatGPT posted:

A man walks into a discount calendar store and approaches the manager. "I heard you're looking for someone to fill a position here," he says. "I'm interested, what does the job entail?"

The manager replies, "Well, you'll be responsible for stocking the shelves, helping customers find what they're looking for, and generally keeping the store organized."

The man nods, "Sounds great, I'm definitely qualified for that. When can I start?"

The manager looks at him skeptically, "Well, I have to warn you, we have a very strict policy here. If you're even one minute late, you're fired."

The man is taken aback, "Really? That's a bit harsh, don't you think?"

The manager shrugs, "It's just the way things are. But if you're willing to take the risk, you can start tomorrow."

The man agrees and starts the job the next day. To his surprise, he's actually really good at it. He's always on time, he's efficient and friendly with customers, and he's extremely organized. He starts to think that this might be the perfect job for him.

However, things take a turn for the worse. One day, he's running a little late. He tries to hurry, but he can't seem to shake the feeling that he's going to be fired. He finally arrives at the store, and the manager is standing at the door with a stern look on his face.

The man's heart sinks as the manager says, "I'm sorry, but you're fired. You were one minute late."

The man is devastated. He's never been fired from a job before, and he's not sure what to do. He starts to walk away, but then he turns around and says, "Can I at least know the reason why I was fired?"

The manager looks at him, "It's simple, Time management."

# ? Jan 18, 2023 00:50

Cease to Hope: Dec 12, 2011

Tinestram posted:

I asked ChatGPT to write a joke about being fired from the discount calendar store

this is a shaggy dog story version of the traditional "i took too much time off" punchline

# ? Jan 18, 2023 01:14

Costco Meatballs: Oct 21, 2022; by Pragmatica

gently caress... That's funny

# ? Jan 18, 2023 01:16

numberoneposter: Feb 19, 2014; How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

but that was the deal, he knew that going into the discount calendar business, he knew the that upfront that if you are one minute late you hit the bricks pal, you're fired, you're done, find a new loving job

# ? Jan 18, 2023 01:49

Nooner: Mar 26, 2011; AN A+ OPSTER (:

i got diarrhea :barf:

# ? Jan 18, 2023 02:57

Songbearer: Jul 12, 2007; Fuck you say?

I didn't get laid at the discount calendar store work party

I couldn't find a date

# ? Jan 18, 2023 13:30

Cabbages and VHS: Aug 25, 2004; Listen, I've been around a bit, you know, and I thought I'd seen some creepy things go on in the movie business, but I really have to say this is the most disgusting thing that's ever happened to me.

i got fired from the discount calendar store because I architected a rewrite of their wordpress site into a react application hosted using Kubernetes on a hybrid AWS/GCP stack with slack integration and using a custom R/Go/C# backend hosted on digitalocean with datadog and stackhawk alerting and TeamCityCI

and well anyway the first round of SaS bills bankrupted the place and they couldn't make payroll

wordpress still has some uses i guess

# ? Jan 18, 2023 13:49

Zeniel: Oct 18, 2013

I got fired from the calendar store. They said my jokes were all dated.

# ? Jan 18, 2023 16:50

Stoatbringer: Sep 15, 2004; naw, you love it you little ho-bot

Mega64 posted:

I got fired from the discount calendar store, they said I was stuck in the past after I kept jizzing on expired calendars.

Does that discount them further?

# ? Jan 19, 2023 01:21

AKZ: Nov 5, 2009

added two extra holidays in April

# ? Jan 19, 2023 03:37

Knot My President!: Jan 10, 2005

i got fired from the discount calendar store

for human trafficking

# ? Jan 19, 2023 03:43

WAR CRIME GIGOLO: Oct 3, 2012; The Hague
tryna get me
for these glutes

I got fired from the discount calendar store for giving a discount

# ? Jan 19, 2023 03:50

Spermanent Record: Mar 28, 2007; I interviewed a NK escapee who came to my school and made a thread. Then life got in the way and the translation had to be postponed. I did finish it in the end, but nobody is going to pay 10 bux to update my.avatar

I got fired from the discount calendar store. I was a day late and a dollar short.

# ? Jan 19, 2023 04:05

Tiberius Christ: Mar 4, 2009

The AI has been the only one to make a decent joke out of this, humanity's days are numbered

# ? Jan 19, 2023 04:13

X JAKK: Sep 1, 2000; We eat the pig then together we BURN

But there never was a discount calendar store.

None of us made it out of Vietnam.

X JAKK fucked around with this message at 04:58 on Jan 19, 2023

# ? Jan 19, 2023 04:19

WAR CRIME GIGOLO: Oct 3, 2012; The Hague
tryna get me
for these glutes

_{(Scene opens with Jerry sitting in his apartment with George)}

^{Jerry: (frustrated) I got fired from the discount calendar store today.

George: (surprised) What? Why?

Jerry: The owner is a complete lunatic. He's convinced that the calendars are all plotting against him.

George: (laughing) What do you mean?

Jerry: (joining in the laughter) He would come in every day and start talking to the calendars like they were alive. He would say things like "I know you're trying to sabotage me, but it's not going to work."

George: (still laughing) That's ridiculous.

Jerry: (getting serious) Yeah, it is. But the worst part is, he started accusing me of being in on it. He said I was in league with the calendars.

George: (shocked) He fired you for that?

Jerry: (nodding) Yep. He said I was a "calendar sympathizer" and that I had to go.}

# ? Jan 19, 2023 04:21

rain dogs: Apr 19, 2020

got fired from the discount calendar store

because anal makes ones whole week

or something like that, i dont know, not my best work

# ? Jan 19, 2023 09:07

numberoneposter: Feb 19, 2014; How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

5 days are included but there's an up charge for weekends.

# ? Jan 19, 2023 09:12

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# ? May 12, 2024 19:48

Zeniel: Oct 18, 2013

I got fired from the discount calendar store. They shot me into next year!

# ? Jan 19, 2023 09:46

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > i got fired from the discount calendar store

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