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Gatts
Jan 2, 2001

Goodnight Moon

Nap Ghost

Bad Purchase posted:

i’ve seen some stuff about river cruises that tour across europe and they look really cool compared to giant oceangoing hellbarges. but i think they are exclusively for rich people and cost thousands of dollars per person.

I went on a cruise down the danube to a cool monastery in, like, Vienna or something and it was a nice little cruise with some scenery.

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Earwicker
Jan 6, 2003

Gatts posted:

I went on a cruise down the danube to a cool monastery in, like, Vienna or something and it was a nice little cruise with some scenery.

my aunt, uncle, and grandfather did a danube cruise as part of a trip to romania to visit some family ancestral poo poo and my aunt ended up falling in love with a german tour guide from the boat and i met the guy when he came to nyc a couple times and he was a total skeezeball and hit on my wife. now he's dead though (of unrelated causes)

Fansy
Feb 26, 2013

I GAVE LOWTAX COOKIE MONEY TO CHANGE YOUR STUPID AVATAR GO FUCK YOURSELF DUDE
Grimey Drawer
If it's just me and a peer, definitely no.

If I'm trying to wrangle a big group that includes people with mobility issues, then I'd consider.

Gatts
Jan 2, 2001

Goodnight Moon

Nap Ghost

Smugworth posted:

Did you and everyone on board constantly drink and bone

I would like to drink and bone...tell me how

Call Your Grandma
Jan 17, 2010

op is cruisin' for a bruisin' immho

Bored
Jul 26, 2007

Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.

hot cocoa on the couch posted:

cruises are where the gilfs flow like milk and honey

Is that, like, cruise ship milk and honey? ‘Cause the milk has soured and the honey somehow got infected with norovirus when they were filling the table-sized bottle from the big honey jar in the kitchen.

Smugworth
Apr 18, 2003

Gatts posted:

I would like to drink and bone...tell me how

Smugworth posted:

Just book a trip on a fully staffed yacht so you can do whatever you want and have a chef create meals specifically for you and your guests. For an insider's look into this experience, check out the hit show Below Deck.


Mr Teatime
Apr 7, 2009

Literally every single crew member on a cruise ship is cheating on their partner with other crew, no exceptions. It’s in the employment contact.

Nam Taf
Jun 25, 2005

I am Fat Man, hear me roar!

Cruise ships are good because it means the people who choose to go on cruise ships aren't going to the holiday locations I like to visit

pencilhands
Aug 20, 2022

Earwicker posted:

the ship i was on had an intranet but no internet. but we stopped in a couple towns in mexico and you could get wifi in most bars and restaurants etc. was kind of nice to not have access to the 24/7 news cycle actually, but i was only doing a week long thing. a lot of musicians and other performers do six month contracts and that sounds like a bit much. tho i do think about it sometimes.

wait so is there a message board where you can shitpost with other cruise guests

u_s_eh
Feb 19, 2005

I AM ALL I AM NONE
It’s the best way to visit every Senor Frogs in the Caribbean

Earwicker
Jan 6, 2003

pencilhands posted:

wait so is there a message board where you can shitpost with other cruise guests

yep exactly. seemed like it was half for shitposting and injokes with other guests (and most of the performers were on there too) and half for whining about various services or the food etc.

u_s_eh posted:

It’s the best way to visit every Senor Frogs in the Caribbean

thats exactly where we would go for free wifi during stops lol. except we were in Baja, but of course theres plenty of Senor Frogs there too. some of the performers worked other day jobs at the same time and would be chilling in a senor frogs at 2pm with a laptop

Earwicker fucked around with this message at 18:50 on Jul 1, 2023

Bad Purchase
Jun 17, 2019




Earwicker posted:

yep exactly. seemed like it was half for shitposting and injokes with other guests (and most of the performers were on there too) and half for whining about various services or the food etc.

i would've thought it'd be more like nextdoor with a bunch of boomers warning they had seen an 'ethnic' fella in some kind of uniform (gang??) casing the staterooms

Earwicker
Jan 6, 2003

Bad Purchase posted:

i would've thought it'd be more like nextdoor with a bunch of boomers warning they had seen an 'ethnic' fella in some kind of uniform (gang??) casing the staterooms

well like i said i was just on a weird little week long "nerd cruise", it wasn't the normal cruise demographic. mostly 20- to 40-something people really into ttrpgs and board games and comics and podcasts etc. not much different from SA, though more positive in tone.

there are all kinds of different cruise demographics some are specifically lgbt, some are mostly middle aged black people, etc its definitely not exclusively a white boomer thing. though a lot of them are and like i mentioned, there was a kind of "nursing home" smell on the boat from the previous run.

poisonpill
Nov 8, 2009

The only way to get huge fast is to insult a passing witch and hope she curses you with Beast-strength.


Is there a “hot single young ladies” cruise

Chinatown
Sep 11, 2001

by Fluffdaddy
Fun Shoe
I just remembered that the last cruise we went on someone jumped overboard and me and a few other guys spotted the body about an hour later after we turned around.

Then they made everyone go to their rooms for a headcount while the fished it out.

The FBI was waiting when we docked the next day.

Good times!

WAR CRIME GIGOLO
Oct 3, 2012

The Hague
tryna get me
for these glutes

Chinatown posted:

I just remembered that the last cruise we went on someone jumped overboard and me and a few other guys spotted the body about an hour later after we turned around.

Then they made everyone go to their rooms for a headcount while the fished it out.

The FBI was waiting when we docked the next day.

Good times!


Chinatown being interrogated by the FBI


Lmfao

He was prolly like hold on lemme finish a post rq. While they tried to get the info out of him

Alucard
Mar 11, 2002
Pillbug

poisonpill posted:

Is there a “hot single young ladies” cruise

Spring break in Cancun?

BigBadSteve
Apr 29, 2009

Chinatown posted:

holy gently caress look at this new one that is almost complete. 8000+ people including crew. :stare:




I like the water slides on the starboard side that dump riders right into the ocean.

covidstomper58
Nov 8, 2020

Earwicker posted:

the ship i was on had an intranet but no internet. but we stopped in a couple towns in mexico and you could get wifi in most bars and restaurants etc. was kind of nice to not have access to the 24/7 news cycle actually, but i was only doing a week long thing. a lot of musicians and other performers do six month contracts and that sounds like a bit much. tho i do think about it sometimes.

Did they have sick LAN parties?

Nigmaetcetera
Nov 17, 2004

borkborkborkmorkmorkmork-gabbalooins
If you’re not poor they’re pretty fun.

Last cruise I went on was $25,000. I don’t know if that was for all of us together or individually but I know which one I’m hoping for.

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I said come in!
Jun 22, 2004

Larry Cum Free posted:

I only went on one cruise and I didn't enjoy it.

There was this one door that didn't look like any of the other doors on the cruise ship that had a crudely handwritten sign on it which just said "BUGS". After like the 5th time I walked by it, my curiosity got the better of me and I checked to see if the door was locked. It wasn't! I opened it and it was a ~100 square foot room COMPLETELY filled to the roof with spiders! Like those prank videos where someone's office got completely filled with styrofoam packing peanuts. I ran away as soon as my brain processed what was happening and all the spiders came pouring out. I could hear all the screams behind me as I booked it to my room.

By that evening, the ship's captain had pressganged most of the guests into spider removal duty. We'd take pool skimmers and run with them along the decks until they were full of spiders, then try to fling them over the side and into the sea. Most of the time the wind would just blow the spiders back towards the ship, where they'd cling to the side and come back onto the deck more determined than ever.

By day 3 we ceded control of the ship to the spiders. In the end no one survived.

Under appreciated post holy poo poo lmao

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