The Onion Megathread

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ninjoatse.cx: Apr 9, 2005; Fun Shoe

"Jenna Bush's Private Wetlands Now Open for Public Drilling"

:lol:

# ? Jul 1, 2023 02:56

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 3, 2024 06:43

MuscaDomestica: Apr 27, 2017

The Point Counterpoints were always good

"What We Need Is More Humidity"/"Humidity Must Be Destroyed"

Life begins at conception / Life begins at 40!

Whoooooo! Bears! vs. Aaaaaggh! Bears!

My Computer Totally Hates Me! vs. God, Do I Hate That Bitch

I Am So Starving vs. I Am So Starving

It Was Then That I Carried You vs. Bullshit, Jesus, Those Are Obviously My Footprints

# ? Jul 1, 2023 03:34

Nooner: Mar 26, 2011; AN A+ OPSTER (:

I thought this was about like food onions 🧅🧅🧅 I like green ones and also white and yellow and red I guess I like most all onions do scallions count?

# ? Jul 1, 2023 03:42

Budzilla: Oct 14, 2007; We can all learn from our past mistakes.

Saalkin posted:

The did a few videos that that were poking fun at vice style journalism and that poo poo cracked me up

Yeah Edge TV was good for only a brief series. Microsoft Patents Ones, Zeroes. Of course it has an amazing last line.

# ? Jul 1, 2023 03:47

yippeekiyaymf: May 16, 2002; You seriously have issues.

Go catch more racoons in a net and step away from the computer.

This is still my most favorite Onion article.

https://www.theonion.com/new-six-flags-ride-based-on-relationship-with-deborah-1819571447

# ? Jul 1, 2023 13:18

Seth Pecksniff: May 27, 2004; can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.

I have always wondered what their original 9/11 issue was gonna be

I don't remember if it was ever released

# ? Jul 1, 2023 14:42

Mr Ice Cream Glove: Apr 22, 2007

Holy poo poo

https://youtu.be/84phU8of02U

# ? Jul 1, 2023 16:29

Internet Old One: Dec 6, 2021; Coke Adds Life

sticksy posted:

Somehow no one has mentioned their amazing 9/11 issue

https://melmagazine.com/en-us/story/onion-911-issue-oral-history

I remember this. I may have actually owned this paper copy but I can remember all the parts.
Also just noticed "See MOVIE page 13" I think that one slipped past me. :lol:

# ? Jul 1, 2023 18:16

Buttchocks: Oct 21, 2020; No, I like my hat, thanks.

My favorite headline: Area Man Realizes He Still Has a Lot of Wiping to Do.

# ? Jul 1, 2023 19:05

MrQwerty: Apr 15, 2003

Masochist Dog Enjoys Being Walked Around On Leash While Naked always gets a chuckle out of me

# ? Jul 1, 2023 19:42

Monkey Fracas: Sep 11, 2010; ...but then you get to the end and a gorilla starts throwing barrels at you!; Grimey Drawer

I kinda love the cute little absurdist writing exercise ones like this thing I somehow still remember:

https://www.theonion.com/clinton-threatens-to-drop-da-bomb-on-iraq-1819564617

# ? Jul 1, 2023 19:53

Pennywise the Frown: May 10, 2010; Upset Trowel

torgo posted:

Literally Unbelievable is a great collection of people taking The Onion stories at face value. I couldn't find all the abortionplex reactions, but those were the best.

I remember reading people flipping out on Facebook when that article came out lol.

The Onion is the best thing to come out of Wisconsin.

# ? Jul 2, 2023 00:11