What is the point of printers in the year 2023 AD and beyond?

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > What is the point of printers in the year 2023 AD and beyond?

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Printers?
	They are all terrible and I stand with the OP
	I love printers, actually
	Just by only good printers bitch!!!
	Printing my boot on OP's dumb loving face irl
	Goku

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Grey Cat: Jun 3, 2023; Doing stuff and things

Space Kablooey posted:

Imagine living all your life as a tree then getting cut down, beaten to a pulp, and then using your body slurry to have feet pics inked on it

This would make a good avatar title.

# ? Aug 13, 2023 00:24

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# ? May 6, 2024 06:51

Smugworth: Apr 18, 2003

Space Kablooey posted:

Imagine living all your life as a tree then getting cut down, beaten to a pulp, and then having your body slurry to have feet pics inked on it

This is what I want to be reincarnated as

# ? Aug 13, 2023 00:31

Mr.Acula: May 10, 2009; Billions and billions of fat clouds

Space Kablooey posted:

Imagine living all your life as a tree then getting cut down, beaten to a pulp, and then having your body slurry to have feet pics inked on it

And then cummed on

# ? Aug 13, 2023 01:02

Hardawn: Mar 15, 2004; Don't look at the sun, but rather what it illuminates; College Slice

Tell me about it, I work at a printing company. We make rolls of tape for some customers.

# ? Aug 13, 2023 01:03

redshirt: Aug 11, 2007

The year is 2034! Sentient printers reek terror on the cowered surviving population!

# ? Aug 13, 2023 01:05

istewart: Apr 13, 2005; Still contemplating why I didn't register here under a clever pseudonym

Can't believe I have to repost this Achewood strip in the year 2023 AD, but here we are

# ? Aug 13, 2023 01:13

Mumpy Puffinz: Aug 11, 2008; Nap Ghost

redshirt posted:

The year is 2034! Sentient printers reek terror on the cowered surviving population!

PC Load Letter

# ? Aug 13, 2023 01:13

Chief McHeath: Apr 23, 2002

i didnt know this was a poll until now so yeah 1, 3 gokeu

e: :hmmyes:

goku, 3, 1

# ? Aug 13, 2023 03:26

Thesaurus: Oct 3, 2004

Space Kablooey posted:

Imagine living all your life as a tree then getting cut down, beaten to a pulp, and then having your body slurry to have feet pics inked on it

That's way hotter to think if it that way

# ? Aug 13, 2023 05:37

Lil Swamp Booger Baby: Aug 1, 1981

I scan and print images of my poo poo to catalogue. Grayscale

# ? Aug 13, 2023 05:42

Thesaurus: Oct 3, 2004

Gotta print

Orchestrated Mess posted:

(Alright this started off with like one thing but became a therapy session for myself)

My boss is like an over-the-top parody of boomers and prints everything. I mean everything. He prints out his own sent emails. If he gets an automated out of office message he prints it. Advertisements/spam? Print it. I have seen him: receive an email, immediately print it, then read it, print it again, respond, and goes to his sent folder to print out that as well. You know when someone sends out a invitation to a ton of people and a few accidentally reply all? Yeah, he prints those random responses. Do we know who the gently caress Carlos is? No. Do we need to print it? Absolutely, maybe even two copies. Where does that go? In one of the infinite piles of paper in his office.

He doesn't know how to save files. He prints things out and scans them back to himself. Because he learned how to do that about fifteen years ago and refuses to learn anything more. This has never ceased to stun me and it's hard to describe to people, but it is the only way he knows how to forward something.

He sends handwritten emails. What the gently caress is that? He prints out an email, writes a response on that printed copy, scans it back to himself, and right clicks the file and uses the email option. So every poor soul that emails him something will randomly get an email with a completely different subject line, and the following message:

He cannot remember a password. I have walked him through resetting a password over one hundred times. Partially to my own detriment, because he then changes passwords, doesn't tell anyone he did so, and then forgets it himself. Also, his passwords are about as simple as you can imagine. Security be damned, I made a spreadsheet of all of our logins and passwords. When I showed him it he said "I'm not doing that copy and paste bullshit, it's too much work."

He refuses to use URLs. So to get to, the something awful forums for example, he does the following: types yahoo into the search bar, which automatically searches google. He then clicks on yahoo (geezers loving love yahoo), then searches something awful on yahoo, clicks on the link, and then yells to the office that he doesn't know the username or password.

One time he told me his computer was full. I knew the size of his hard-drive and how little was actually on there so I went to check. I checked the properties of the drive and it said there was plenty of space left. He refused to believe me, minimized all the windows, and showed me the desktop. "See? The computer is full." He had filled up his desktop with random poo poo and believed the computer was out of space.

He's scared to minimize windows. According to him "one time he minimized something and it disappeared forever." So if he is filling out an application or something he's constantly yelling "WHAT'S THEIR ADDRESS" "WHAT'S THEIR PHONE NUMBER" and when I get tired of it and tell him we have a database, with such sincerity he explains "yeah but I already have a window open so I can't right now."

He has five browsers on his computer and refers to them all as whatever website the homepage is. Chrome = Yahoo, etc. He will look at you blankly if you say Chrome. When he got a new computer, I told him to use just one browser. Like he was checkmating me he said "but what if I need to go to more than one website?"

I am partially numbed to all of this but every once in a while have an absolute meltdown.

# ? Aug 13, 2023 05:44

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

Space Kablooey posted:

Imagine living all your life as a tree then getting cut down, beaten to a pulp, and then having your body slurry to have feet pics inked on it

this is my fetish and I am currently printing out deviantart erotica of this exact subject

wait what the gently caress does it mean printer not connected, I am looking at the printer status RIGHT NOW

# ? Aug 13, 2023 05:46

Thesaurus: Oct 3, 2004

Space Kablooey posted:

Imagine living all your life as a tree then getting cut down, beaten to a pulp, and then having your body slurry to have feet pics inked on it

alternative ending to The Giving Tree getting a little weird

# ? Aug 13, 2023 13:52

Slugworth: Feb 18, 2001; If two grown men can't make a pervert happy for a few minutes in order to watch a film about zombies, then maybe we should all just move to Iran!

Regular printers are why I refuse to ever try a 3D printer. I'm sure adding a third dimension definitely didn't make the entire situation a thousand times dicier.

# ? Aug 13, 2023 14:01

Hammerite: Mar 9, 2007; And you don't remember what I said here, either, but it was pompous and stupid.; Jade Ear Joe

The Hello Machine posted:

I invented the printer

mods permaban please

# ? Aug 13, 2023 14:30

super sweet best pal: Nov 18, 2009

Slugworth posted:

Regular printers are why I refuse to ever try a 3D printer. I'm sure adding a third dimension definitely didn't make the entire situation a thousand times dicier.

It's more reliable to print your text to a plastic slab than it is to a sheet of paper.

# ? Aug 13, 2023 16:22

Coolguye: Jul 6, 2011; Required by his programming!

Slugworth posted:

Regular printers are why I refuse to ever try a 3D printer. I'm sure adding a third dimension definitely didn't make the entire situation a thousand times dicier.

you'd be surprised. turns out stripping out a dickload of DRM and other corpratist garbage does wonders for the overall product delivered. it's more annoying to get it set up for sure, but after you have it set up it continues to work even if you don't needlessly upgrade the "drivers" and otherwise change its e-diapey. when it runs out of "ink" you just grab some more extruding plastic from "literally anywhere". it'll work.

# ? Aug 14, 2023 07:11

dr_rat: Jun 4, 2001

Slugworth posted:

Regular printers are why I refuse to ever try a 3D printer. I'm sure adding a third dimension definitely didn't make the entire situation a thousand times dicier.

3d printers are pretty boring, waiting until we get 5d or 6d printers. Printing things that are only partially perceivable to humans is where it's at.

# ? Aug 14, 2023 15:00

HAM ON THE BONE: Aug 22, 2009; Pillbug

how am i supposed to print out ssj5 goku pictures to put in my trapper keeper without a printer op??

# ? Aug 14, 2023 15:22

Kingoffrogs: Aug 14, 2023

Because some institutions are technological fetuses and still use the pony express to deliver mail. We're waiting for these institutions to find out that the internet exists and that they don't have to keep your files in a great big box ready to burst into flames at the drop of a match.

# ? Aug 14, 2023 18:59

hot cocoa on the couch: Dec 8, 2009; 100% DOG LOVER
ALL DOGS LOVED, ALL THE TIME

3d printers own

# ? Aug 14, 2023 19:01

BAGS FLY AT NOON: Apr 6, 2011; A Soft Nylon Bag

I print out my daily affirmations op

# ? Aug 14, 2023 19:09

Animal-Mother: Feb 14, 2012; RABBIT RABBIT
RABBIT RABBIT

Thesaurus posted:

Gotta print

lmfbo

# ? Aug 14, 2023 20:15

ProperCauldron: Oct 11, 2004; nah chill

People always say "support your local library"

And I do

By using their printers.

Because printers are evil pieces of poo poo and the entire industry is scam and if I ever found the guy who deliberately designed printers to die after 14 months I would stab him to death in front of his watching mother.

So I just go to the library instead. It's cheap and socially good!

# ? Aug 15, 2023 02:28

Poohs Packin: Jan 13, 2019

Using the library to print out pages and pages of 1990s classic pornography

# ? Aug 15, 2023 03:27

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# ? May 6, 2024 06:51

Grey Cat: Jun 3, 2023; Doing stuff and things

Poohs Packin posted:

Using the library to print out pages and pages of 1990s classic pornography

Time stamped for relevance
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dWtP0sGcugo&t=287s

# ? Aug 15, 2023 03:30

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > What is the point of printers in the year 2023 AD and beyond?

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