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CheckedNoMate posted:Exercise is the one thing I haven't tried in regards to treating my Anxiety/ADHD. My anxiety/adhd has played a role in making me avoid it. I think a more effective way than a gym, which requires a lot of self-motivation, is signing up for an exercise class. Crossfit and kickboxing aerobics are becoming really big, and it's usually not hugely expensive. I know a Crossfit gym in town that charges $60 a month and has classes six days a week. The class thing is good because being surrounded by other people doing the exact same thing really pushes you to put effort into it, and knowing that those same people are going to be there the next day at the same time makes you feel more accountable because people will notice if you're not there. Lastly, it's a lot more fun than doing free weight stuff where you're just counting reps. Running an obstacle course or doing bag work is a lot more engaging than 3 sets of 15 or whatever. A lot of gyms offer exercise classes but it's a bit different when it's a site that's only dedicated to these classes and not to just personal work-outs. As far as helping with symptoms, it didn't do a goddamn thing for me. It helped my self-image and I felt a lot better physically, but my inability to concentrate wasn't improved at all. Still worth exercising just for general health.
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Mar 3, 2011 16:46
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2508084 posted:Whats the night before your regular work week like? Are you getting enough sleep on your 'detox' weekend? That may be one of the problems. Because my brain seems to want to treat it as a massive partyfest, so I end up indulging on all the baddies I don't do during the week. Like Lattes! Mochas! Fatty foods! Cookies - lots of cookies! (Because I have an appetite again because I'm also not taking the  on the weekends!) Staying up late! Sassing Mom and Dad! (ok, not that last one). But I have been getting up at 7am to watch international soccer at a friend's house on Saturdays instead of sleeping in and actually letting my body recover from the week.I'm thinking that perhaps dialing it down a bit might help in all of this. Make my system more regular. Thanks for the insight. Like, still have fun, but don't treat it as a weekend Hedonism-fest every weekend. (But this weekend I will, because it's Emerald City Comic Con.  )
Qu Appelle fucked around with this message at 19:55 on Mar 3, 2011 |
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Mar 3, 2011 19:52
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And I just got feedback that on my job I'm doing 'excellent', so that's good to hear. One worry down!
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Mar 4, 2011 00:12
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On the other end of the field here I'm getting a lot of snide remarks about my job performance. This is a good thing. I hate this job and need more motivation to go find other work. The really sad part is I made a conscious decision to slack off here like 3 months ago and they're just now realizing I don't produce much work. I'm treated like absolute poo poo, and for once, I can 100% positively say the issue is not me, and that I have gone above and beyond reasonable expectations to try to remedy some of these problems. Good for you Qu Appelle, that's a great feeling.
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Mar 4, 2011 02:04
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TheGopher posted:On the other end of the field here I'm getting a lot of snide remarks about my job performance. Thanks. And I've had jobs like that before. One was so horrible that when I eventually got fired, I outright thanked them.
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Mar 4, 2011 02:16
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Qu Appelle posted:Thanks. And I've had jobs like that before. One was so horrible that when I eventually got fired, I outright thanked them. Hahahaha, I think this is about what's going to happen if I don't quit first. My boss asked me today, "What do you even like about this job besides the paycheck?" and it was pretty hard to stop myself from saying "paycheck" before she said it, and "nothing" after.
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Mar 4, 2011 02:28
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TheGopher posted:Hahahaha, I think this is about what's going to happen if I don't quit first. My boss asked me today, "What do you even like about this job besides the paycheck?" and it was pretty hard to stop myself from saying "paycheck" before she said it, and "nothing" after. I drew a smilie face on my "I quit" note that I wrote on receipt paper before walking out (at the end of my shift) Forgot my second dose of adderall today. Ended up eating food and biking a total of 8 miles over the course of the day. BIKES BIKES BIKES
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Mar 4, 2011 03:08
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2508084 posted:Forgot my second dose of adderall today. Ended up eating food and biking a total of 8 miles over the course of the day. tis the season! just got back from a late-night 10 mile ride, spring is on its way.
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Mar 4, 2011 05:55
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The most basic thing is to walk if you can't ride bikes or join a membership.
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Mar 4, 2011 07:26
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TheBigBad posted:The most basic thing is to walk if you can't ride bikes or join a membership. Everything is coated in ice this time of year where I live  Anyone else have problems with family? I won't say that my family is made up of satanists who abused me everyday and locked me under the stairs, but a lot of poo poo they did was pretty hosed up. Lately, they've been trying to email me but it's mostly just made me angrier, like "Oh, you want me to be happy with you and pretend I'm your sister again, but you aren't taking any responsibility for the poo poo you did?" I don't even want to hear them beg or grovel, just a simple "Hey, I'm sorry for the poo poo I've done, can we try patching things up?" instead of blaming me/everyone else for all the bad stuff would be nice. It's probably me being slightly insane too.
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Mar 4, 2011 07:34
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TheBigBad posted:The most basic thing is to walk if you can't ride bikes or join a membership. Or jog! Seriously, just get out and DO. DO SOMETHING. Buy a frisbee, theyre 1$. Go walk around your city. Do whatever. The sunshine, the fresh air, the activity, will help a lot. quote:Is the gym the best way to through yourself into exercise without procrastinating? The gym isn't THE BEST way, its the most efficient. You can make better use of your time in a gym because there is an assortment of things available. Cardio in multiple forms, free weights, most gyms have classes regularly now. You can always procrastinate. I lost 20lbs last year. I started my TFLC log in January and I've lost 12lbs so far in the last ~two months. Accountability is huge on working out. Its not just working out that helps, because it does chemically help by releasing endorphins into your brain, its all the profit that comes from working out. You get fit, you can do things you couldn't do before, you socially interact (while the gym isn't SOCIAL social, its social) with strangers which helps decrease anxiety in new situations, you get stronger, and it reinforces the fact that you can do what you set your mind to. I did not know I could deadlift my own body weight. A year ago, I literally couldnt. My body weight (165lbs) is my working set. Everytime I go to the gym, I get reminded for 3 sets of 8 reps that I CAN DO WHATEVER I SET MY MIND TO. Your mind may distract you, but its still yours, your drive is still there, you can still do. Just, sometimes, you need to ride a loving bike (to the gym  )e. If you cant afford a gym, with the economy and such, see the Brain Over Brawn thread in W&W (no link handy, lazy, late, BIKES)
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Mar 4, 2011 07:36
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Motion to change thread title to "ADD Megathread: LET'S RIDE BIKES BIKES BIKES"  I've been on the Adderall for awhile now and one thing I've noticed I can tell when its kicked in. Strangely, I get this calm, relaxing, 'everything is allllll right' feeling. Kinda funny since I thought something labeled an amphetamine is supposed to give you a crazy burst of energy and make you want to WORK THE gently caress OUT LIKE RIGHT NOW BRO! And maybe I'm more aware of how I am on versus off the pill, but I can definitely tell when my doses have worn off for the day. When the dose is over, I can tell I'm pretty forgetful and I'm find myself daydreaming a LOT more. I had a definitely HOLY poo poo moment when I cooked some pasta, ate the meal, then came back to the kitchen after dinner to find I left the gas burner on!  Later on, I was trying to get to bed at a decent hour last night and I didn't go to bed until 1am. Because I was listening to power metal waay too loud, reading a PDF on ADHD, and day (night?) dreaming about this idea I have for an Android app. I wasn't even tired when I went to bed. I just knew I better go to sleep because it's a work day.
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Mar 4, 2011 14:42
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Dolemite posted:Motion to change thread title to "ADD Megathread: LET'S RIDE BIKES BIKES BIKES" I am more than OK with this.
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Mar 4, 2011 19:58
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Qu Appelle posted:I am more than OK with this. Motion for a legit OP 1 hour after someone after someone takes their I'm doing super great today! Gonna cross post from my TFLC log (where I'm required, no toxx though, to post something positive every time I workout. quote:I didn't get upset once today. I got up early and bussed downtown to find out they cancelled my appointment without telling me. I missed my bus uptown by 1 minute. I realized this morning I have 2 days worth of medication left before I'm completely out. I tripped and almost fell on my face. One of the programs I'm in hosed up some calculations and I'll be losing money this month because of it. I have to call them and sit on hold for eternity. Referencing that second line. Yeah, they just cancelled my poo poo and didn't tell me. I hope all these people burn in hell, they all but actually say "You're a crazy person, your time isn't important." It literally went Me: I'm here for my 9:30 with [RN lady] Her: Shes not here. Me: uh..... I have an appointment? Her: She's not here. Me: ........ Her: We moved all her appointments to yesterday. Me: What? Her: Someone called you. Me: No they didnt. Her: Well they should have. Me: Ok.... so now what? Her: *walks off* This woman runs the program. RUNS THE PROGRAM. I really, really need to draw up that complaint letter to the mental health board. These people should not be allowed to treat patients. Ever since I threatened to file an abuse (verbal) complaint against my old case manager if they refused to give me a new one, they've been just horrible. Then again, these are the same people who told me college was a waste of time and threatened to have me evicted when I enrolled anyways. Then tried to evict me on bullshit 6-7 times in as many months until they made the mistake of bringing the bosses boss in and I absolutely UNLOADED all the poo poo they had done. You could have heard a pin drop after I finished running down the list of unethical poo poo.
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Mar 4, 2011 23:18
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That makes me furious. It's hard enough for us to show up on time for poo poo, let alone get the motivation at times. To blow you off like that isn't just offensive and insulting, it's negligent. If you have the patience, start complaining to higher ups, and keep going higher up until somebody understands the gravity of the situation.
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Mar 4, 2011 23:27
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They're already being investigated for tax fraud or something similar. People on the mental health board already know whats going on because one of my old psych professors is on the board and she heard from me constantly. An employee who was in the class (low level) actually backed me one day and said I wasn't lying about the misconduct that goes on. Those things take years to investigate and prosecute though. I know at least one of those people forges patient signatures on forms. They literally control the lives on their patients. If I refuse to see my therapist, I'm evicted from my home. If I wasn't contractually obligated, I would have told her to gently caress herself and found someone competent a long time ago. They have no problem threatening their patients with the removal of services. Want your meds? Want to keep a roof over your head? Then I guess you agree to whats on the paperwork now, don't you? I'm not even inferring anything, I was told straight to my face "if I dont sign this saying I agree that I'm an alcoholic, and to enroll in AA, you'll put me back on the street?" "Yes." I just forged the AA slips v:)v e. hahaha i forgot the best part. I'm in a different type of housing now, but my old kind you were REQUIRED to attend TWO groups per week. I didn't need two groups, which is where the alcoholic thing came from. My therapist also told me it wasn't her job to help me deal with my past and my issues. I still don't know what the gently caress her job is.
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Mar 4, 2011 23:34
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I had anger management issues when I was younger, and combined with my impulsivity things were bad. It was always a certain kind of anger that really got me steamed to a point where I would throw stuff and punch walls. I would shake from the adrenaline rush I got from it and it took a long time for me to learn how to deal with it, and not always get so worked up. Though I haven't had self-control issues, or anger management issues in forever, that's the kind of anger I feel when I read stuff like what you're experiencing. Maybe it's because it hits so close to home, but it is infuriating that people who work in an industry that many get into simply to help others can do so much harm to people that need help the most. It doesn't help that our society already has a terrible attitude and perception toward mental illness, and the people who are supposed to be helping you are lauded for their selflessness and commitment to others by friends and family who have no idea the damage they cause. It's not even that these people are lazy and providing less than ideal care, but they're going out of their way to be negligent and deprive you of your well-being. I hear about so much poo poo like what you're going through on a daily basis it makes me wish I had my poo poo together enough to get a law degree and litigate the poo poo out of lowlifes like that. Who knows, maybe one day I can make that dream a reality, though I don't fancy myself being able to sit and do paperwork all day just to drain the wallets of the people who make life so loving terrible. gently caress it, I'm just gonna become Batman. Instead of fighting crime I'm going after social injustice.
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Mar 5, 2011 02:03
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TheGopher posted:
Make sure you make a compartment for your second dose of adderall on your utility belt
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Mar 5, 2011 04:15
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It's going to go right next to my rape whistle. Wait... fakeedit: BIKES, but without BIKES, cuz it is not safe to ride bikes in Los Angeles, and especially not at night in my neighborhood.
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Mar 5, 2011 05:41
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Oh god. My city is fat and podunk. Sometimes I can kind of understand almost pegging me in front of a drive way because I CAN come out of nowhere, but I get drat near smashed every day as a PEDESTRIAN. I had to stop the middle of a driveway because this broad wasn't paying attention. Her car came to a stop with me in the middle of her loving engine, its a good thing I pay attention. Then she waved. Why do they always loving wave? "Sorry for almost killing you because looking forward while driving is hard" I picked up my script today. My WellB went from 30$ to 12$, it'll probably go back up next month, but heyyy extra $ 
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Mar 5, 2011 05:51
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as a motorcyclist/bicyclist, that poo poo happens to me every day. I like to slow way down when I see it happening, stand up on my pedals/pegs, and point right at the offending driver while slowly shaking my head.
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Mar 5, 2011 16:42
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Going to loving scream if I keep having to work at this job. I'm getting to a point where I'm considering quitting and trying to stay afloat until I can land another job. At this point, even if only the grass is greener, it will improve my mental state immensely, and I won't dread going to work every single day. Talk me out of this, I keep needing something to change, but I'm paralyzed by my fear of failure, and inability to take on one problem at a time. What's the best way to find a good psychologist. I really don't have time to shop around and hope I find a decent one at some point. I really need somebody that understands ADHD, and can do more besides being somebody I just bitch to and reciprocates with useless advice. I don't even give a poo poo if I have to pay out of pocket to see someone, because if I don't start dealing with my problems soon, I'm going to be out of money and moving back in with my parents. I feel like I need somebody to just sit down with me and direct me from one task to another. Doesn't even need to be somebody who's highly trained, just a person to take the initiative and get me going on the days where a to-do list and Adderall aren't enough.
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Mar 8, 2011 01:17
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I have an "official" ADD/ADHD test with a Psychiatrist in a week, and he said it would last at least 3 hours, but he didn't specify what to expect. I am not picky nor knowledgeable to know which medication would be best for me, I just am finally hoping to get some relief after all these years. But I am curious from those of you who have been through the testing: What was the experience like? What was your first prescribed medication? Is it nerve-racking to be interviewed in a psychiatric evaluation? I've been to 4 shrinks and have to say that I don't care for them
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Mar 8, 2011 05:02
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I don't even know what the hell you're talking about honestly. A three hour test? I'd shoot myself 30% of the way through even ON meds. TheGopher The problem with quitting now is you don't know when you'll find another job. You may end up moving back in with your folks. Unless you have a ton of experience, skill and a great interview technique, you probably will (save for a massive savings account). Its about what is better for you in the long run, sticking it out until you find a new job, or quitting and possibly moving back in with your folks. \/ must have done that when I was a kid, I guess 
ladyweapon fucked around with this message at 05:33 on Mar 8, 2011 |
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Mar 8, 2011 05:05
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XXdragonsparkzXX posted:I have an "official" ADD/ADHD test with a Psychiatrist in a week, and he said it would last at least 3 hours, but he didn't specify what to expect. Its not that big of a deal. You take some tests, draw some pictures, answer some questions. As an adult the prescription processes is which one is covered by your insurance? Okay now try this one.
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Mar 8, 2011 05:13
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So I've been taking the adderall for a while now and I'm beginning to recognize something. I feel like I'm getting addicted to the feeling I get from the meds. Here's what's weird: I don't feel like I'm addicted to the actual medicine itself. I feel like I'm absolutely addicted to that clarity, ability to focus, and ability to FINALLY LEARN poo poo. So much so that I can't wait to finish my breakfast or lunch so I can take my meds with it. Umm...soo...anyone else feel that way? That's not weird, right? It's cliched, but that feeling is best likened to folks who use glasses for the first time after a lifetime of lovely eye sight. That moment when they put on the glasses and realize: "HOLY poo poo THIS IS WHAT I'VE BEEN MISSING ALL THESE YEARS?!". I can really feel the difference this medication has made. In the last week, I've really noticed the ability to start from scratch, read and learn what I need to finish a task, then GET IT DONE! The last two things I had to do at work involved me having to learn enough about two different programming languages to make applications that automate stuff around here. I never could have focused long enough (and retained enough) to pull this off. Well, I could've pulled it off unmedicated (hell, I have before). But, it would've taken far, FAR loger unmedicated.
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Mar 9, 2011 14:07
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Dolemite posted:So I've been taking the adderall for a while now and I'm beginning to recognize something. I feel like I'm getting addicted to the feeling I get from the meds. Here's what's weird: I don't feel like I'm addicted to the actual medicine itself. I feel like I'm absolutely addicted to that clarity, ability to focus, and ability to FINALLY LEARN poo poo. So much so that I can't wait to finish my breakfast or lunch so I can take my meds with it. Umm...soo...anyone else feel that way? That's not weird, right? It's normal to desire the improvement the drug is producing in your quality of life, as long as you're not craving the chemical effects themselves. It's wise to be aware of your habits and keep an eye out for signs of dependency, but at the same time, it's foolish to assume that voluntarily adopting helpful medication as part of a healthy lifestyle is in any way comparable to addiction. Do you feel like you 'need' the improved productiveness and efficiency, or is it the psychological rush itself that motivates you? If you're really concerned about it, you could try talking to a doctor or pharmacist to ask how addictive Adderall is and what signs might indicate addiction. On the other hand, a lot of the other posters here are giving me the impression that some American medical professionals are really hung up about drugs, and will readily assume that anyone who "needs" them is a crazed junkie, regardless of circumstance. There aren't really doctors like that, are there?
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Mar 9, 2011 19:19
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Angry Diplomat posted:It's normal to desire the improvement the drug is producing in your quality of life, as long as you're not craving the chemical effects themselves. It's wise to be aware of your habits and keep an eye out for signs of dependency, but at the same time, it's foolish to assume that voluntarily adopting helpful medication as part of a healthy lifestyle is in any way comparable to addiction. Do you feel like you 'need' the improved productiveness and efficiency, or is it the psychological rush itself that motivates you? Well, what I'm afraid is that I admit I 'need' the increased productivity. Right now, I use it to focus on the boring, mind numbing tasks I do at work that also require attention to detail. But, I also have a lot going on outside of work. I need to fill out a questionnaire for the Goon that does the resume service and it's a long one. I need to add stuff to my portfolio and overhaul my website. I also need to be able to focus so I can learn new programming languages and other technical skills that employers want. I've been squeezing in time to learn a little bit while on the job, but I keep getting pulled away from it to handle some bullshit task like help the receptionist use the copier. I take my meds in the morning and at noon (1 pill split up into two doses). So when I come home from work, the effects are fading away. I've noticed that the medication does have a calming, chillin' out effect. Yes, it's nice. But that, I don't care as much about. I can easily get that from cracking open a brew or even hopping on the bike for an hour if I have the time. quote:If you're really concerned about it, you could try talking to a doctor or pharmacist to ask how addictive Adderall is and what signs might indicate addiction. On the other hand, a lot of the other posters here are giving me the impression that some American medical professionals are really hung up about drugs, and will readily assume that anyone who "needs" them is a crazed junkie, regardless of circumstance. There aren't really doctors like that, are there? I have a visit with my psych tomorrow to see how everything is going so far. I'm realy feeling like I should keep what I mentioned here a secret. I'm definitely afraid of being labeled an addict.
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Mar 9, 2011 19:52
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Dolemite posted:So I've been taking the adderall for a while now and I'm beginning to recognize something. I feel like I'm getting addicted to the feeling I get from the meds. Here's what's weird: I don't feel like I'm addicted to the actual medicine itself. I feel like I'm absolutely addicted to that clarity, ability to focus, and ability to FINALLY LEARN poo poo. So much so that I can't wait to finish my breakfast or lunch so I can take my meds with it. Umm...soo...anyone else feel that way? That's not weird, right? I've been taking Addy-XR 20mg for 4-5 days now and it's been something else. I'm able to focus on things now. Read things. Even play video games which was something I actually couldn't do before. Really happy with things and I should have a job soon and then go to school where I should be able to actually retain knowledge this time around. Right now I'm mainly reading up on strategies for ADHD. Learning to organise my life, give it structure, and understand myself and how to deal with this better.
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Mar 9, 2011 19:57
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Just be careful with HOW you phrase things. When you say certain things, doctors have to cover their rear end from liability.
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Mar 9, 2011 20:03
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Dolemite posted:Well, what I'm afraid is that I admit I 'need' the increased productivity. Right now, I use it to focus on the boring, mind numbing tasks I do at work that also require attention to detail. I was drawing a distinction between legitimate medicinal use and potentially addictive dependency. If you only 'need' the Adderall because it enables you to flourish in the workplace and/or hold your own in a competitive job market, you're pretty much being incredibly silly by worrying about addiction. I wouldn't make a judgment like that based solely on the feeling you get, either; I feel happier and more upbeat overall when I'm on my meds, but that's because I'm more productive, more effective, and generally more valuable to society, and that knowledge provides a degree of confidence. Plus, you know, there's that whole "no rumination or suicidal ideation" thing. Addiction is often an insidious process, but a lot of people seem to view it as some sort of ominous, omnipresent, Lovecraftian madness that will instantly consume the mind of anyone who feels a need to take any drug for any reason. I just get the impression that you're afraid that any positive feelings about (or caused by) your medication might indicate that you're becoming addicted, which is a dreadfully silly idea. I may be taking this all wrong though. I apologize if that's the case.
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Mar 9, 2011 20:12
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Xenoid posted:An addiction is usually seen as a prolonged involvement with a substance despite negative side effects. As you aren't abusing the drugs or doing anything negative as a result of it, it's not an addiction but you will develop a chemical dependency/tolerance with prolonged use. Angry Diplomat posted:I was drawing a distinction between legitimate medicinal use and potentially addictive dependency. If you only 'need' the Adderall because it enables you to flourish in the workplace and/or hold your own in a competitive job market, you're pretty much being incredibly silly by worrying about addiction. I wouldn't make a judgment like that based solely on the feeling you get, either; I feel happier and more upbeat overall when I'm on my meds, but that's because I'm more productive, more effective, and generally more valuable to society, and that knowledge provides a degree of confidence. Plus, you know, there's that whole "no rumination or suicidal ideation" thing. You are definitely interpreting what I'm saying the right way. I guess I've just heard so many people say that Adderall will addict you instantly, etc. etc. I drink beer because it tastes good and I also like the relaxing buzz you gut. But, I don't benefit from beer otherwise. I definitely don't need beer to function better. It was just kind of alarming that I realized that I really liked how Adderall helps me get through tasks. Then when I had all this extra stuff I need to do land on my plate, I realized that I'll practically need the drug's help. So that kind of spooked me a little. I know you were trying to draw a distinction between properly using a drug for good because it helps versus popping pills for the sheer love of getting high. I was really questioning myself when I was at dinner with the wife the other night. I knew I had to do that questionnaire but my meds had worn off. I looked at her and said that I wished I could take another half dose that evening (making it three doses instead of the prescribed two) so I can focus on the material and actually stay on task. Of course, I didn't do that since the doc has his reasons behind his dosing schedule. I get what you're saying in the end. On some level, I thought that maybe I was being a little silly and I'm glad that I am indeed being a little nuts.
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Mar 9, 2011 23:58
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Xenoid posted:An addiction is usually seen as a prolonged involvement with a substance despite negative side effects. I had to explain this to my boss because "Would you say a diabetic is addicted to their insulin medicine" resulted in a "...Yes?" edit: more clearly, she didn't understand what the term "addiction" actually meant.
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Mar 10, 2011 02:25
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My wife refused to read anything about ADD. The other day I got her to read some of delivered from distraction. All that did was piss her off by reminding her of everything I do. What the hell can I do?
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Mar 10, 2011 22:10
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Wartime Consigliere posted:My wife refused to read anything about ADD. Uh, explain to her that a loving partner would support you and not get mad at you for trying to seek help for detrimental mental disorders? What the gently caress.
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Mar 10, 2011 22:18
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Wartime Consigliere posted:My wife refused to read anything about ADD. This is coming from someone who was kicked out by their husband for being a flaky unmedicated rear end in a top hat, but your wife sounds like a dick. There's no reason why she shouldn't be at least willing to try to understand adhd. Hell, even my husband at least sat down and listened to me read out some stuff and didn't get angry, he just told me that he doesn't quite understand it but he's trying. On an aside, is anyone else on feel really lethargic if you dont' work out? Like, before when I was going to school I cuold at least stay awake until the end of the night, but now I just can't do anything but sleep.
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Mar 10, 2011 22:32
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You didn't make it clear why she refuses to read anything about ADHD. Is it an issue of her not believing in the condition, or her thinking that you're just making excuses? Either way, like mr. mephistopheles said, she's not attempting to live up to her role in the relationship. Make sure she knows this is about you, not her, because it sounds like she's more concerned with how your behavior affects her, and not how you are trying to deal with it. Whenever I get skeptics, I ask what they think of other mental disorders, like depression. The symptoms of depression are feelings that most people experience in one way or another, but the severity of symptoms is what sets it apart from people who might be feeling down for a day. If you can't get through to her with regular conversations, I would be a little more pushy about it. When my parents asked me why I did (or didn't) do one thing or another, I was very firm in saying, "I don't know." They would whine about how my behavior affects them, and I would always point out that I was aware of it, and I'm not so much of an rear end in a top hat that I would continue with behaviors I know negatively impact other people. I can quote myself saying, "Do you know what it's like wake up feeling like a complete failure? I don't know why I act this way, but if I had a choice I would change in a loving heartbeat, because I'm the one that has to live with this everyday." On that point, I would really hammer home the emotions you're dealing with, not just the behaviors you want to change. From your previous posts it sounds like you're self-deprecating, and blame yourself for your failures and feelings of inadequacy. If all your wife needs to do is read a stupid book, and try to be supportive, why wouldn't she? It's not like she has to live with this condition, she just has to pretend like she gives a poo poo, especially when the people you have to work with will never really understand the extent of difficulties that come with ADHD. If the one person who you have such a deep connection with can't be there for you, who will?
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Mar 10, 2011 22:40
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Apparently the reading inspired her to make a list: You make promises and never keep them you never follow through unless it's your stuff you use electronics all the time and dont put me and our daughter 1st I have to ask you to make love to me when it suits you you can stay up until 5am but when I need your help it's 1230 or 1am you sleep 12+ hours and ou are tired and in my eyes lazy much of the time when I make plans for morning you go to bed so late. I have to fight with you to get up you don't take responsibilty for anything you are never wrong, always right you wait until the last minute on everything! nothing I say matters unless it benefits you You do pranks and things you know irritate me to push my buttons ....The only reason it stops there is she got too tired to keep going. I'm not sure if she doesn't understand that no one would choose to do these things or what. I've repeatedly told her that. I don't know if she thinks I'm Charlie Sheen and can heal myself with my mind or what.
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Mar 10, 2011 23:28
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Wartime Consigliere posted:I have to ask you to make love to me If I tried every time it came to mind my success rate would be low enough to be demoralizing (and annoying)
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Mar 10, 2011 23:49
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signalnoise posted:If I tried every time it came to mind my success rate would be low enough to be demoralizing (and annoying) I tried to reword it the least embarassing way I could. But gently caress it, "and only sometimes you will" was there too.
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Mar 10, 2011 23:53
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