I Killed British - The Griefing Discussion Thread

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > I Killed British - The Griefing Discussion Thread

«‹›533 »

kuribo: Aug 2, 2003; Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.

Slappy Moose posted:

This reminds me of Garrysmod. I would get pretty pissed when someone just started deleting things and shooting people while shouting "TROLLED!" but from time to time, people (usually myself) would build griefing machines like catapults and suicide bomber cars, and siege peoples buildings.

My absolute favorite thing was to make a plane, and hang a magnet off of it. I'd fly past someones contraption and the magnet would catch it, and I'd just carry off their car or whatever. I liked making the plane out of wood so if they shot at me, I'd crash and explode.

I know it's from a few pages back, but you just reminded me of the time I was playing GMod with a co-worker of mine who had just installed it for the first time.

I built a big catapult, and was entertaining him by throwing sofas and the like across the map. He didn't know, though, that I had set the catapult to swing in a full 180 arc. So, I sprayed the ground, told him to stand about 10 feet from the catapult. He did, and I swung it around fully, smashing him with what amounts to a giant mechanical flyswatter.

If you ever play GMod and don't want to be griefed, don't ever... EVER "stand here" when someone tells you to. Even if you know that person.

# ? Jul 10, 2011 12:15

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 15, 2024 06:04

Polka_Rapper: Jan 22, 2011

kuribo posted:

If you ever play GMod and don't want to be griefed, don't ever... EVER "stand here" when someone tells you to. Even if you know that person.

My brother did something like that. I was off doing something and he called me over to the computer to come see what he built. At the time, I had only played GMod for a little while, and he was new at it as well. So I walk over to the computer and have a look. A short distance away from where he was lay a contraption. I asked what it did, and he said sit down and try it yourself. I was suspicious, of course, and I planned to walk over (in game) and carefully look at it before trying anything.

I make it about three steps towards the object and die instantly, getting flung across the map. I respawn, and ask him what the hell happened. After he stops laughing, he says he'll show me. He tells me to go back over to the contraption. Being clever, I take a different path and I again die instantly about halfway there. This time he says he will show me what's happening for real. When he sits back down, he spawns some prop, and holding it with the Physics Gun, starts slowly walking towards what I now know is the decoy. "I have to find them first," he said. The prop gets flung across the map by the same invisible force that killed me. "There it is!" He gets out the color tool, and reveals the device.

He built something like those spinning zombie killers from Ravenholm; only it floated in one place (hoverball + something else), and was powered by silent thrusters. And it was invisible. There were a bunch of them scattered around the map as well which he showed me by spawning Headcrab Zombies and letting them walk into the choppers.

It might not be up to the really creative GMod griefs, but considering that we were (and still are) new at GMod and that he learned more about GMod than I did in much less time, and directly proceeded to build a invisible silent death machine to get me with...pretty good.

# ? Jul 10, 2011 12:44

The Corporate: Jul 7, 2009

kuribo posted:

Okay, so the recent World of Warcraft patch added a quest line that pretty much everyone would want / need to do.

One part of this quest line involves killing a bunch of elementals in a floating tower, about 500 feet above the ocean. If you fall off the tower, or die, your kill counter starts all over again.

Now, Priests have an ability that lets them take control of someone else's character for a very short amount of time. Just long enough to, say, hurl someone off a cliff.

This is how I spent patch night, when that tower was most crowded:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A67eFZR_jog

I used to stand outside Molten Core and ruin people's raids by preventing pubbies from going anywhere near the instance, doing exactly this. I could spend hours just forcing people to jump into lava pits. It got to the point that people turning up by themselves would wait for three or four others to turn up before they'd come near me, for fear that they'd end up in the lava instead.

Ahhh, vanilla WoW.

# ? Jul 10, 2011 23:56

PalmTreeFun: Apr 25, 2010; *toot*

My favorite contraption in gmod was a little panel on hoverballs with cameras, a PHX3 (model pack, I think it's included by default now) bomb prop spawner hanging underneath, and thrusters to move around. I'd color the whole thing with alpha 0 to make it invisible, but I'd put red rope crosshairs on the top so only my cameras could see them up in the sky.

I'd noclip under the ground, activate the cameras, then rain bombs on people at inopportune moments. Some guy would be just working on his wiremod car, and all of a sudden a bomb falls, and BLAMF, his whole thing sets on fire. I think I have a few videos on my computer that I saved of me doing that.

People rarely catch on, moderators don't see what's making the bombs and can't grab it, and even if they did know where it was, it's so high up that it's hard to find from the ground. The only times I've been caught were when an admin was on and the server was logging all explosives spawned. That almost never happened though.

If all else failed, I could just spam the spawn button and make the server lag from all the colliding, exploding bombs.

Another fun thing I had was a trick with ropes. Roping two objects together with a rope that had an extremely high negative length could cause them to freak the gently caress out and start smashing against each other and flying all over if you touched or duplicated them. It also worked with ragdolls; I loved roping the TF2 heavy's hands and feet together and letting him fly. Anyway, if the two things were explosive barrels, they'd blow up instead of flipping out. So you could duplicate them, get rid of the first pair, then use the duplicator to spawn them anywhere for an instant explosion. So basically I'd have fun pointing at people from across the map and blowing them up like my name was Tim.

My last one was just a wooden box car that slid all over and had dynamite attached to the front. I'd hit a button and the parts would go flying off everywhere, sometimes killing people.

E: vvvv Well I'm dumb, my post history for this thread makes me look like a huge loving idiot. I gotta remember that I've shared these already. Three times now. :saddowns:

E2: On that note, I think we should start a new thread, because the OP is from June 2008. :psyduck:

PalmTreeFun fucked around with this message at 06:54 on Jul 11, 2011

# ? Jul 11, 2011 05:52

pokecapn: Oct 17, 2003; yeah, galo sengen

This thread's gotten so long that you've made the same post about your GMod griefing devices 3 times in it :psyduck:

# ? Jul 11, 2011 06:28

xergm: Sep 8, 2009; The Moon is for Sissies!

PalmTreeFun posted:

Another fun thing I had was a trick with ropes. Roping two objects together with a rope that had an extremely high negative length could cause them to freak the gently caress out and start smashing against each other and flying all over if you touched or duplicated them. It also worked with ragdolls; I loved roping the TF2 heavy's hands and feet together and letting him fly. Anyway, if the two things were explosive barrels, they'd blow up instead of flipping out. So you could duplicate them, get rid of the first pair, then use the duplicator to spawn them anywhere for an instant explosion. So basically I'd have fun pointing at people from across the map and blowing them up like my name was Tim.

I've mentioned this exact trick on here before. In fact it was probably from you and I reposted it. The best thing is that the messages in the corner says "Player exploded by ENV_EXPLOSION" or something to that effect. The only problem is finding an appropriate prop. Most servers block explosive ones by default, and before PHX3 was standard, instead of invisible bombs you'd get floating ERRORs appearing in front of the player you're shooting at for a split second.

# ? Jul 11, 2011 06:31

IHatePancakes: Jan 29, 2009

More SS13 fun:

As other people mentioned before, there is a pneumatic garbage disposal system on the station. It leads to the garbage compactor in a small room. If for some reason you get stuffed into the chute, you usually can escape as people leave the compactor off unless they're killing people. Plus that AI and head staff watch it like a hawk just for that reason. Also in that small room is another chute, which is a direct port to space.

Now, rather than weld the doors shut, gently caress with the controls and kill the AI access, I slice up the pipes and join the two chutes together. So if you take an unfortunate garbage ride, you get shot out right into space. If you steal a space suit and build a platform within its firing range on the map, you can collect all sorts of goodies (and bodies) by the end of the game.

And another:

On the old map with the engine that was fire based rather than the singularity, I would run into the engine while it was being loaded and build a small glass room with a teleporter beacon inside it. After the engine got lit, I'd run around the station with the handheld teleporter and send people to a very warm room. I even set up chairs so they could sit down and enjoy their death as their lungs are vaporized. Escape was futile, as outside the glass was fire. Lots and lots of fire. Plus the engineers liked to weld the engine access doors shut for safety.

# ? Jul 12, 2011 05:51

Forer: Jan 18, 2010; "How do I get rid of these nasty roaches?!"

Easy, just burn your house down.

IHatePancakes posted:

On the old map with the engine that was fire based rather than the singularity, I would run into the engine while it was being loaded and build a small glass room with a teleporter beacon inside it. After the engine got lit, I'd run around the station with the handheld teleporter and send people to a very warm room. I even set up chairs so they could sit down and enjoy their death as their lungs are vaporized. Escape was futile, as outside the glass was fire. Lots and lots of fire. Plus the engineers liked to weld the engine access doors shut for safety.

I seroiusly wonder what they'd scream into the headsets to try to get people to help them
Random Pubbie[h]: Oh my god I fell into a teleporter someone go into the engine and save me
Random Pubbie[h]: Hurry up I'm going to die!
(OOC)Randompubbie: omg your all faggots

# ? Jul 12, 2011 09:23

ugh its Troika: May 2, 2009; by FactsAreUseless

Man, I remember the first station. You could charge the batteries basically forever with only a few plasma cans, and a single can fire could endanger a large chunk of the station since fire doors didn't automatically engage :shobon:

# ? Jul 12, 2011 22:54

PopeOnARope: Jul 23, 2007; Hey! Quit touching my junk!

Forer posted:

I seroiusly wonder what they'd scream into the headsets to try to get people to help them
Random Pubbie[h]: Oh my god I fell into a teleporter someone go into the engine and save me
Random Pubbie[h]: Hurry up I'm going to die!
(OOC)Randompubbie: omg your all faggots

Those people are the best.

For people crying about being locked in places, or welded in lockers, I would usually goad them into telling me their location, then either killing them or spacing their locker.

# ? Jul 12, 2011 23:15

IHatePancakes: Jan 29, 2009

Lots of people did teleporter fuckery. Tossing the beacon into space or into a locker thats welded shut (how 12 people can fit in it I'll never know), but teleporting into a glassed in room in the engine complete with tables, chairs and a bed was so much funnier. As was building a useless little space on the edge of one of the solar panel arms. Sometimes I'd even remember to put air in it.

Another fun thing to do was to put fire in the cold loop in the engine. Basically the engine worked with a "hot loop" in the area with a billion degree fire, and a "cold loop" that was open to space, and depending on the temperature difference between the two, it would generate energy for the station. It would always take a while, but I'd build the special engine flooring all in the cold loop, and light a massive fire in there. It was always great to see an engineer come in about reports of decreasing energy only to look through the cold loop windows and see a big rear end fire where empty cold space should be. Best part was there was basically no way to put it out so they'd just be dumbfounded or go try and work the solar panels which never really works.

When I'd get bored in atmospherics, I'd go about replacing the emergency air tanks. It'd take a while, but it also takes a while for the station to go to poo poo for people to start hunting them down. I'd replace the air with hot plasma or nitrous oxide. Imagine running down the hall from the vacuum of space, grabbing an emergency tank from the wall locker, turning it on and falling over because it was full of laughing gas. Or it vaporizes your lungs, whichever.

# ? Jul 13, 2011 00:37

Nerdlord Actual: Apr 14, 2007; Awaken to your true self with Wisconsin Potatoes; Grimey Drawer

IHatePancakes posted:

Lots of people did teleporter fuckery. Tossing the beacon into space or into a locker thats welded shut (how 12 people can fit in it I'll never know), but teleporting into a glassed in room in the engine complete with tables, chairs and a bed was so much funnier. As was building a useless little space on the edge of one of the solar panel arms. Sometimes I'd even remember to put air in it.

Another fun thing to do was to put fire in the cold loop in the engine. Basically the engine worked with a "hot loop" in the area with a billion degree fire, and a "cold loop" that was open to space, and depending on the temperature difference between the two, it would generate energy for the station. It would always take a while, but I'd build the special engine flooring all in the cold loop, and light a massive fire in there. It was always great to see an engineer come in about reports of decreasing energy only to look through the cold loop windows and see a big rear end fire where empty cold space should be. Best part was there was basically no way to put it out so they'd just be dumbfounded or go try and work the solar panels which never really works.

When I'd get bored in atmospherics, I'd go about replacing the emergency air tanks. It'd take a while, but it also takes a while for the station to go to poo poo for people to start hunting them down. I'd replace the air with hot plasma or nitrous oxide. Imagine running down the hall from the vacuum of space, grabbing an emergency tank from the wall locker, turning it on and falling over because it was full of laughing gas. Or it vaporizes your lungs, whichever.

You're the reason atmos is not a job any more, mate.

# ? Jul 13, 2011 03:01

IHatePancakes: Jan 29, 2009

Phuzzy posted:

You're the reason atmos is not a job any more, mate.

The emergency tanks can be messed with in other places, mate. Atmos isn't a job anymore since the new air system update change how air was handled, plus it stopped people from gassing the station/changing air to plasma/changing air to superheated oxygen and other things. And having idiots run into atmos storage and setting the whole thing on fire.

# ? Jul 13, 2011 04:01

TheRagamuffin: Aug 31, 2008; In Paradox Space, when you cross the line, your nuts are mine.

Phuzzy posted:

You're the reason atmos is not a job any more, mate.

He's not talking about replacing the air in the station with other chemicals. He's talking about filling equippable air tanks with other gases.

# ? Jul 13, 2011 20:24

Nerdlord Actual: Apr 14, 2007; Awaken to your true self with Wisconsin Potatoes; Grimey Drawer

TheRagamuffin posted:

He's not talking about replacing the air in the station with other chemicals. He's talking about filling equippable air tanks with other gases.

Man, okay that's legit funny, carry on.

# ? Jul 14, 2011 20:31

Tsurupettan: Mar 26, 2011; My many CoX, always poised, always ready, always willing to thrust.

Instead of taking the time to replace every oxygen tank with deadly gasses, why not just spread plasmatoid and turn oxygen into the deadly gas?

# ? Jul 14, 2011 20:38

pog boyfriend: Jul 2, 2011

In Garry's Mod I made one of those stupid teleport-to-users, but instead of an explosive I put a super powerful upward-forcer(wiremod) to shoot people into the air incredibly high in server without noclip. Lots of falling deaths were had, good times. Lots of people tried to snipe me from the top of the map, though. The only person not either rocketing upwards or falling to their doom is a pretty good indication of the one responsible. :v:

# ? Jul 14, 2011 22:22

IHatePancakes: Jan 29, 2009

TheRagamuffin posted:

He's not talking about replacing the air in the station with other chemicals. He's talking about filling equippable air tanks with other gases.

Nope, emergency tank fuckery can happen anywhere where there are large tanks you can attach them to. Atmos, the chemistry/we're not making bombs in here lab, even engine room.

Atmos got seriously nerfed because the air system was a major resource hog and too many people used it to pump other gasses stationwide. Like filling the air pipes with gasses other than air and flooding, say, security and the brig. Since the air system update, it also changed things like how air temp, flow, and fires are handled. Huge, station engulfing infernos are now no longer possible

Tsurupettan posted:

Instead of taking the time to replace every oxygen tank with deadly gasses, why not just spread plasmatoid and turn oxygen into the deadly gas?

I don't know much on how to do that. Besides, I found it far more hilarious to have people freak out grabbing sabotaged air tanks when the station is falling apart.

# ? Jul 14, 2011 23:37

Tsurupettan: Mar 26, 2011; My many CoX, always poised, always ready, always willing to thrust.

IHatePancakes posted:

I don't know much on how to do that. Besides, I found it far more hilarious to have people freak out grabbing sabotaged air tanks when the station is falling apart.

Let me just say that Scientist is one of the best jobs and learning how to make diseases is great fun.

# ? Jul 14, 2011 23:57

IHatePancakes: Jan 29, 2009

Tsurupettan posted:

Let me just say that Scientist is one of the best jobs and learning how to make diseases is great fun.

I've always been more of the engineering type, building and modifying things to satiate my lust for grief and hilarity. Like teleporting people to the middle of a million degree engine to be cooked alive. And rigging the engine(both the old fire one and the singularity)to fail, usually catastrophically. I miss the old station, with its old air coding. If you work quick enough while the rest of the engine crew is loading the engine, you can usually tunnel though the engine walls and have an easy way to fill the station halls with the savage inferno that powers the place. Always a fun way to lose my pursuers. Run by a secret entrance, hit it, and watch the fire pour out. Goddamn I loved fire.

Stealthily building secret doors to all the brig cells is always handy for my inevitable capture. A few games on some pubbie server I convinced the crew the AI was rogue by manually electrifying every airlock I came across. Then when they blew up the AI I escape on the shuttle alone, having not gotten my hands dirty on my traitor objective.

# ? Jul 15, 2011 00:56

Angry Diplomat: Nov 7, 2009; Winner of the TSR Memorial Award for Excellence In Grogging

Tsurupettan posted:

Let me just say that Scientist is one of the best jobs and learning how to make diseases is great fun.

In this vein: one of the diseases that the Scientists can research is called Owns Syndrome. It is one of the few beneficial diseases in the game - it causes the character to slowly regenerate wounds, feel cool all the time, occasionally hear crowds cheering for him from inside his head, and constantly be wearing sunglasses. As in, if he's not wearing sunglasses, any eyewear he has on will fly off of his face and a pair of sunglasses will materialize, "deal with it"-style.

Owns Syndrome is funny and helpful, so there's really no way it could be used to grief, right? Well, not exactly - traitors in this game can obtain cloaking devices, rendering them invisible to everyone except cyborgs, the AI, and people wearing thermal goggles. And Owns Syndrome causes those goggles to fly uncontrollably off of the wearer's face to make room for sunglasses, every single time he tries to put them on.

I became infected with Owns Syndrome during a traitor round. I spread it to absolutely everyone that I could, meaning nobody could wear the thermals. Since nobody could see him, a single cloaked traitor killed the gently caress out of virtually everyone. The round ended with the traitor standing on the escape shuttle, atop a mountain of sunglasses, casually removing more from his face and tossing them around while new ones descended from on high. He radioed the surviving crew to tell them to deal with it.

# ? Jul 15, 2011 01:07

Tsurupettan: Mar 26, 2011; My many CoX, always poised, always ready, always willing to thrust.

Angry Diplomat posted:

In this vein: one of the diseases that the Scientists can research is called Owns Syndrome. It is one of the few beneficial diseases in the game - it causes the character to slowly regenerate wounds, feel cool all the time, occasionally hear crowds cheering for him from inside his head, and constantly be wearing sunglasses. As in, if he's not wearing sunglasses, any eyewear he has on will fly off of his face and a pair of sunglasses will materialize, "deal with it"-style.

I love Owns, The Serious and Rhinovirus. My favorite combo of diseases is those three, actually. I mentioned it in the SS13 thread, but a few weeks ago I used Dr. Cogwerks as patient zero and turned the entire crew into naked, sperg-spewing, sunglasses wearing Dr. Cogwerks who were constantly telling each other to deal with it. The best part is how well Serious meshes with Owns, because they'll randomly say the paragraphs of text and then be told to deal with it. I like to spread the fun diseases, but I always use myself as patient zero unless I have a buddy around for carrying them. A scientist must bear the burden of his work!

p.s. Serious is pretty awesome for griefing the crew as most people don't pick their IDs back up.

# ? Jul 15, 2011 02:01

Vib Rib: Jul 23, 2007; God damn this shit is
fuckin' re-dic-a-liss
🍖🍖😛🍖🍖

Again, to me, this all just comes back to the reason Space Station 13 is shooting itself in the foot.

All these ideas for clever plays and sabotages or just fun ways to interact or mess with the crew, but a lot of it is undercut by the idea that everyone else is doing the same thing. In a traitor round everyone is supposed to be taking care of their facilities, even if they're being weird about it or have pet projects, and the traitor is supposed to be the one loving things up. But it never works out that way because if someone has it in mind to gently caress with the station, they'll do it whether they were chosen as traitor or not. Geneticists will run around extracting brains, people will be sealed into lockers, and ensigns will bludgeon people to death with lunchboxes, while the traitor is on the other side of the station.
A lot of plans people try to execute rely on the rest of the station acting normally. But no one ever wants to be that crew member that just does what he's supposed to. Everyone wants to be the guy superheating the air or blowing up the engine or filling the emergency air tanks with plasma.

# ? Jul 15, 2011 02:08

Cojawfee: May 31, 2006; I think the US is dumb for not using Celsius

I always wanted to be the guy just messing around and building things. That's why I always chose chaplain. People rarely ever went into the church, and it was filled with metal. I would always just start building things and have some fun. Except for when someone decides to come in and murder me for no reason. Playing SS13 is griefing yourself because no one is going to play normally. They all want to be "that guy."

# ? Jul 15, 2011 02:28

SALT CURES HAM: Jan 4, 2011

My SS13 griefing experience has been incredibly unlucky.

I was captain one round, and I uploaded laws to the AI saying that security, the captain, and the HoP were the only humans, and that the AI must be really nice to humans. (the AI was being an utter jackass) This was done with the intent of setting up a military dictatorship, with me as leader, and when an admin was just like "dude what the gently caress are you doing" I curtly responded "Nazi time." and got permabanned instantly.

# ? Jul 15, 2011 02:32

Tsurupettan: Mar 26, 2011; My many CoX, always poised, always ready, always willing to thrust.

Vib Rib posted:

But no one ever wants to be that crew member that just does what he's supposed to.

I occasionally sign up specifically as assistant and kit myself out to fight fires/fix holes & wires/rescue people and spend the round being helpful. :v:

I usually die a horrible death to fires or space, but I try!

# ? Jul 15, 2011 02:58

Shooting Blanks: Jun 6, 2007; Real bullets mess up how cool this thing looks.

-Blade

Vib Rib posted:

Again, to me, this all just comes back to the reason Space Station 13 is shooting itself in the foot.

All these ideas for clever plays and sabotages or just fun ways to interact or mess with the crew, but a lot of it is undercut by the idea that everyone else is doing the same thing. In a traitor round everyone is supposed to be taking care of their facilities, even if they're being weird about it or have pet projects, and the traitor is supposed to be the one loving things up. But it never works out that way because if someone has it in mind to gently caress with the station, they'll do it whether they were chosen as traitor or not. Geneticists will run around extracting brains, people will be sealed into lockers, and ensigns will bludgeon people to death with lunchboxes, while the traitor is on the other side of the station.
A lot of plans people try to execute rely on the rest of the station acting normally. But no one ever wants to be that crew member that just does what he's supposed to. Everyone wants to be the guy superheating the air or blowing up the engine or filling the emergency air tanks with plasma.

Probably my favorite SS13 story is the one from WAY back in this thread about some guy just being a janitor and mopping hallways. And making people slip and fall all over the place.

# ? Jul 15, 2011 03:06

IHatePancakes: Jan 29, 2009

Shooting Blanks posted:

Probably my favorite SS13 story is the one from WAY back in this thread about some guy just being a janitor and mopping hallways. And making people slip and fall all over the place.

In the old station, the arm to the escape shuttle had a 90 degree corner in it. The janitor had a mop and bucket and could make the floor slippery obviously. You'd slip on mopped tiles if you weren't walking, and usually on the station everyone runs like hell. My absolute favorite thing to do with the janitor was mop RIGHT before that corner, just out of view of the wall. Then go take apart the wall so it'd lead into space. I'd also disable the O2 alarms so no one could tell that there wasn't any air. Once the emergency shuttle was called, I stood just out of the way and watch body after body go sliding across the floor and into orbit. Then got the gently caress murdered out of me by a guy in a spacesuit and jetpack. So worth it.

# ? Jul 15, 2011 04:30

Angry Diplomat: Nov 7, 2009; Winner of the TSR Memorial Award for Excellence In Grogging

If a banana peel is left on the floor, anyone who steps on it will slip and fall down. There used to be a Clown job, which started with a banana and was mostly responsible for playing pranks, telling jokes, raising spirits, and getting brutally murdered by the psychotic crew. When my brother first started playing SS13, he chose Clown and spent the entire round slipping people with his banana peel, farting in their faces while they lay stunned, and then peeling out of there like a brightly coloured human rally car while furiously honking his bike horn. He did this so much and so competently that several people were actively trying to murder him, which of course led to more slipping, farting, and honking before he'd lie low in a locker somewhere until they gave up the search.

One particular victim seemed to have terrible luck, as he ran afoul of my brother over, and over, and over again through no apparent fault of his own. He must have spent a third of the round lying on the floor with fart in his face and a cheery HONK HONK HONK ringing in his ears. After pratfalling for the fourteenth or fifteenth time, he impotently screamed, "CLOOOOOOOOOOOOWN!" at his retreating assailant. This had no effect, aside from causing my brother to laugh so hard that it brought him to tears.

That victim was THE OVERWASP, one of the game's administrators. :stare:

Rather than get angry, THE OVERWASP saw the humour in my brother's clowny antics. He telepathically instructed him to stand next to his banana peel for a moment, then implanted the clown's consciousness into the peel itself, giving my brother the ability to move it around directly.

As it turns out, a player-controlled banana peel is nothing short of apocalyptic in the right hands. The station rapidly descended into anarchy as police chases became Keystone Kopps fiascoes, Janitors were left facedown in their own suds, and panicking assistants fled shrieking from the demonically-possessed banana peel before it sent them tumbling facefirst into vending machines. In a desperate bid to restore order, one of the heads of staff seized the unholy fruit rind in his hand and stuffed it in his pocket. Striding triumphantly to the airlock to space the offending item, he met his doom when it leaped out of his pocket and slipped him, causing him to careen into the open void and be lost forever.

The escape shuttle was called, and the crew fled in terror, abandoning the station to its new master: the Doom Peel.

# ? Jul 15, 2011 15:25

Tax Inductions: Jul 9, 2007; I carry refreshments to the good guys
I made the good guys some home fries

Okay, that's hilarious.

# ? Jul 15, 2011 16:54

PopeOnARope: Jul 23, 2007; Hey! Quit touching my junk!

IHatePancakes posted:

Lots of people did teleporter fuckery.

In the vein of loving with the old firebreather, we also used to build what we called the supercharger. We would wall in the area around the pipe that goes into the right side of the TEG, pop two plasma and an ox into there, and then leave them all at full as we lit it. You would easily be looking at 1-2MW, right up until the pipes in the room would suddenly rupture killing everyone inside it, and flooding the station with superheated plasma. Good times.

I also used to build a superburner in Atmos using the air vent that was a little to the right of the door. With the output set up to feed it a lovely little mixture of plasma and oxy, that would regularly get to 11-12K.So, just before the escape shuttle was to arrive, one would open the wlal it was connected to, spewing magma into the corridor, vaporizing anybody who came near - firesuits or not.

# ? Jul 15, 2011 18:26

Ygolonac

Nov 26, 2007

pre:

*************
CLUTCH  NIXON
*************

The Hero We Need

Angry Diplomat posted:

"CLOOOOOOOOOOOOWN!"

AHAHAHAHAHAHAH Oh my gently caress HAHAHAHAHAHAH

About the only griefing I participated in were random drunken server raids in CS; our local LAN group would occasionally run adults-only LANs (thus, drinking was allowed), and we'd find some innocent CS server to join and conspire to gently caress around with. Standards were:

Flashlight Patrol - Everyone, no matter the team or whatever else was going on, would be cycling their flashlights constantly. This worked well in conjunction with:

Defend The Van (or other useless point) - yup, the entire team (and parts of the other, depending on force-team-balance) camped on one spot and killed anyone coming by. This usually was paired with:

Clouds Of Lead: All-shotguns, all the time. Automatic if possible.

So, Serious Player Team starts out, charging towards Bomb Site A/B or whatever, and sees a bunch of flashing light. "WTF?" They charge around the corner, ready for...

well, not for eight drunks with autoshotguns clicking their lights on and off and making absolutely sure the random vehicle is defended to the end.

Rounds tended to end because the bomb went off, the bomb was disarmed, or one team was exterminated. (We didn't change weapons until out of ammo, and if defending a point, never left it. Easy prey if you weren't busy laughing your rear end off.)

Serious Players would keep playing (GOTTA KEEP MY STATS UP!), but sometimes they whined to the server op. Usually, this resulted in the whiner being kicked, because the op was busy laughing his/her rear end off watching the idiocy. (Sometimes they joined in.)

Legitimate playing as Flashlight Patrol was fun, too, especially with FP and non-FP on the same team.

<clik><clik><clik><clik><clik><clik><clik><clik><clik>
"Y U FLASHING?"
<clik><clik><clik><clik><clik><clik><clik><clik><clik>
"STOP THAT YOU TARD!"
<clik><clik><clik><clik><clik><clik><clik><clik><clik>

I miss my drunken-LAN crew.

# ? Jul 15, 2011 18:43

Flashing Twelve: Mar 20, 2007

Eonwe posted:

Not only did this make me want to play Hell (hopefully someone can help me not suck at these games so much), I'm fairly certain I know this guy IRL. It isn't his exact handle, but its very similar, he always does the *nods* poo poo, and he has the EXACT pathetic lifestyle he was attributing to the Goon. He is also really into MUDs.

So, I'm gonna see if he plays Hell.

From a while back, but seebach is banned goon Alcohol Kills.

Hellmoo is pretty much the greatest game for rage generation because it's completely free pvp with full item loss. Samples:

quote:

Boy everyone in this game sure turned gay quick.

Some dicksucker named Rhinelander killed me while I was fighting a crackhead and started talking poo poo about it on chatnet, and I guess in defending myself Terminus and Clamenza decided they should side with Rhinelander.

If you guys are reading this you're all faggots.

Edit: I don't understand how me defending myself from some retard bragging about how I'm "easy pickings" after he killed me while wounded turns me into some sort of target. It seems to me like he's the bigger human being for bragging about it on chatnet in the first place.

quote:

4 on Conot (#527419) // Sun Sep 19 17:23:16 2010 CDT
// From: rancidbear

gently caress you, you useless poo poo if you hack the gang cams again ill loving kill you
next time I see you

quote:

Go ahead and implement that as a ragequit. Hellmoo turns everyone into an expert, angry (but he's actually so far above this text game, it's ironic you see) internet jerk. And if you dare to comment on it, god forbid, you're a gigantic human being, you ragequitting human being taking a text game seriously. Anything I say by this point will be mocked somehow so just suck my dick already.

quote:

Min-maxing is the only bloody way to be able to do something at the game without spending several hundred years on it.

SORRY TO HAVE FUN. SORRY TO HAVE FUN. SORRY TO HAVE FUN.

Seriously now. I min/maxed, yes, I HAD FUN DOING IT because I was powerful in a goddamn online game for the first time in my life. Is having fun so loving bad? Well sorry, you stuck-up whiners.

and retarded corp drama walls of text:

quote:

I may as well have been removed from the game for exploiting Notdeadyet's stupidity by having him pay me for a deathsuit beforehand, then not giving it to him.

If anything I'm more of a victim. I don't know if your former corpmates were giving you the whole story of everything, but here's what I can tell you about my personal involvement:

1. I leave GOON, peacefully. I make it clear that I really have no problem with GOON but that if they decide to invoke acts of aggression that I will not just sit around.
2. Acrux is camping EC guy, which was KGB's contract at the time. I kill him. I stuck around and got in over my head. Sanguinaire and CheechLizard showed up, and Acrux was pretty quick to come back too. Sanguinaire attacked me and I pretty much fought him off and killed CheechLizard. Acrux grabbed me and Sanguinaire finished me off. I go back with a clusternuke and blow them all up. Twerp got blown up because I didn't know he was there. Then more people become involved in camping my gear (tehguy, Beta (KREW), Twerp (KREW)). I had a newbie clear out the landmines. I then clusternuked the area again. I had a corpmate try to open my cocoon, but he wasn't able to--what the gently caress? They setup more landmines and camp the cocoon fully. I cut my losses.
3. I tell Acrux/Sang/Cheech that that was really out of line to camp my cocoon and that I'd get revenge.
4. I settle things with CheechLizard, shortly after he leaves GOON.
5. I see Sanguinaire on the streets. I gently caress around with him for a bit. I attack him in Slagtown but he runs to FC. He tries to bait me into the orphanage but I was under the impression Notdeadyet would attack me as well (he was right around there). After going back and forth a bit he pulls an EMP grenade, causing me to auto-attack him. I get the stars. He kills me. I go to prison and come back to get my stuff.
6. Sanguinaire starts hunting me. He tries to kill me a few times, with some success. I never lost anything from this other than XP or money.
7. I kill SammySams for being a bitch, basically. He rerolls all the time and just lives to tell GOON my location so they can try to jump me. If not for me, he wouldn't be in GOON, because he is a non-GOON who is a friend of zench, who I talked into joining GOON after I found that he is in fact a Goon. The admins seem to not understand my reasoning in killing him, without hearing my side of the story, and so I get 6 stars and a teleported C3-50. I kill the C3-50 without realizing a Mcbain was coming too. I book it to chemical plant and get pardoned shortly after.
8. I kill Felicia and get his implant. This has nothing to do with the GOON bullshit, it's more that he whined a shitload and was just asking for it.
9. I challenge Ruby to a stick fight match after hearing a lot of verbal attacks from him. He makes a lot of threats and claims my incompetence beforehand. I destroy him. He claims that I wouldn't win without using grabs. I laugh it off. My first shot did 40% of his health. I'm the best spears user in the world, so whether he likes it or not he had no chance.
10. Ruby is apparently really pissy and so he bombs me in AP. Acrux is with him. They clearly want my poo poo. Unfortunately for them, I survive the bombing. I ran out and saw the two of them running back to Corpclave. I just let that go.
11. Sanguinaire attacks me in front of the Helliday. I end up killing him. I take his implants.
12. Situation with Nigredo. I found it fishy but I didn't think there was much reason for concern. I also thought that I would be able to close the door in time. I was wrong. So I get killed again for no apparent reason. Fake lets Sanguinaire in on accident and we both get killed and our implants taken away.
13. I kill Acrux in Slagtown. I didn't go out of my way--Acrux just happened to show up on track at the same time I was in Slagtown. I wasn't looking for him, but this is at least part of the revenge I promised, despite getting nothing more than a rare head (TheGrinch is a temporary name).
14. Nigredo kills me again in FC unprovoked.

Also, sometime after DRS became more formidable, Acrux also tried to shoot at me with the Lynndie. Acrux at one point made disparaging remarks on chatnet about me.

The point is that I'm hardly "messing with GOON." It's more the other way around.

EDIT: Between 3 and 4, Acrux contracted Miku to pick my lock so that he could rob me. He brought along many people including Notdeadyet, SammySams, tehguy, Granger, and Sanguinaire. I just logged off after I noticed the angry mob so my door was barred.

# ? Jul 15, 2011 18:53

vandelay industries: Apr 6, 2007; what delay industries?

Angry Diplomat posted:

If a banana peel is left on the floor, anyone who steps on it will slip and fall down. There used to be a Clown job, which started with a banana and was mostly responsible for playing pranks, telling jokes, raising spirits, and getting brutally murdered by the psychotic crew. When my brother first started playing SS13, he chose Clown and spent the entire round slipping people with his banana peel, farting in their faces while they lay stunned, and then peeling out of there like a brightly coloured human rally car while furiously honking his bike horn. He did this so much and so competently that several people were actively trying to murder him, which of course led to more slipping, farting, and honking before he'd lie low in a locker somewhere until they gave up the search.

One particular victim seemed to have terrible luck, as he ran afoul of my brother over, and over, and over again through no apparent fault of his own. He must have spent a third of the round lying on the floor with fart in his face and a cheery HONK HONK HONK ringing in his ears. After pratfalling for the fourteenth or fifteenth time, he impotently screamed, "CLOOOOOOOOOOOOWN!" at his retreating assailant. This had no effect, aside from causing my brother to laugh so hard that it brought him to tears.

That victim was THE OVERWASP, one of the game's administrators.

Rather than get angry, THE OVERWASP saw the humour in my brother's clowny antics. He telepathically instructed him to stand next to his banana peel for a moment, then implanted the clown's consciousness into the peel itself, giving my brother the ability to move it around directly.

As it turns out, a player-controlled banana peel is nothing short of apocalyptic in the right hands. The station rapidly descended into anarchy as police chases became Keystone Kopps fiascoes, Janitors were left facedown in their own suds, and panicking assistants fled shrieking from the demonically-possessed banana peel before it sent them tumbling facefirst into vending machines. In a desperate bid to restore order, one of the heads of staff seized the unholy fruit rind in his hand and stuffed it in his pocket. Striding triumphantly to the airlock to space the offending item, he met his doom when it leaped out of his pocket and slipped him, causing him to careen into the open void and be lost forever.

The escape shuttle was called, and the crew fled in terror, abandoning the station to its new master: the Doom Peel.

Ok this is one of the most hilarious things I've ever read

# ? Jul 16, 2011 05:17

Tony Phillips: Feb 9, 2006

An oldie revisited.

I'll assume most of you have seen some old Counter Strike footage of a game including a player named "C-Note." Gangsta-ish kid that seems to have a thing for the "bazooka" who later has his older brother chastise the game for not letting C-Note have fun.

I've seen the same clip dozens of time over the years. About 3 minutes worth, at a resolution of approximately 100x80. Still funny, but just terrible quality.

Just stumbled onto a full 21 minute recording of the match, at a resolution good enough to read the onscreen chatting.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FImxN-IfjIk

8-6-7-250!

# ? Jul 16, 2011 05:26

Dick Burglar: Mar 6, 2006

I thought he was saying his brother was 6'7" tall, 250lbs.

# ? Jul 16, 2011 19:38

ugh its Troika: May 2, 2009; by FactsAreUseless

The bananna peel thing is the most amusing SS13 thing I've seen in a long time.

Really the problem with SS13 is that just about everyone tries to do monkey cheese crazy stuff and it gets old after a while.

# ? Jul 16, 2011 19:43