Horrible Football Posts From Other Football Forums

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Black Lighter: Sep 6, 2010; Just keep looking at what we're doing, keep watering and ask yourselves first and know 'Are you watering? And are you fertilizing every day?' So when it's time to pop, it'll pop.

Serisothikos posted:

2008 wasn't that long ago so there must be archived power rankings from then; weren't they 5-1 at one point?

That was cruel, I'm sorry

Before that season started, I made a bet that they'd make the playoffs. I was a smug motherfucker for about six weeks. Then Jim Rome said they were a mortal lock to win the division.

:ughh:

x infinity.

# ? Aug 18, 2011 14:07

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# ? May 15, 2024 19:42

Two Tone Shoes: Jan 2, 2009; All that's missing is the ring.

I just saw this in the comments on ESPN:

quote:

You don't draft a QB like Cam #1 to sit the bench. The onl y reason that Cam will not start is because Bama owns ESPN, Fox News, ESPN and other that are against Auburn. They made up all those lies about a laptop and cheating on exams because they are scared of Auburn and Cam. Don't forget that we championed to the aban last season. We are the champion and there is nothing bammer can do about it. Bow down and praise the glory to our tophy, because we have cammed to the saban of eternal glory! WDE!

# ? Aug 22, 2011 12:15

War Bunny: Jul 7, 2009; I don't silflay at this time, sir.

Ugh, some of these are really bad. I can't pick and choose from any at Field Gulls...there 's just too much :smug:

to choose from. Any Seahawk fans that have been over there will know what I'm talking about.

# ? Aug 22, 2011 12:42

Anals of History: Jul 29, 2003

Two Tone Shoes posted:

I just saw this in the comments on ESPN:

If Bama wants the "control the media" stereotype, they can have it.

Only registered members can see post attachments!

# ? Aug 22, 2011 14:46

v2vian man: Sep 1, 2007; Only question I
ever thought was hard
was do I like Kirk
or do I like Picard?

If yall like desperate, pathetic fan justifications hop over to the All About Da U thread and jump to the last...5 pages or so. Miami fans trying hard to believe they won't get punished for breaking lots of rules

# ? Aug 22, 2011 15:00

FeedingHam2Cats: Nov 10, 2009

Black Lighter posted:

Before that season started, I made a bet that they'd make the playoffs. I was a smug motherfucker for about six weeks. Then Jim Rome said they were a mortal lock to win the division.

x infinity.

Yup, started off 4-0, finished 7-9. They looked completely for real too.

# ? Aug 22, 2011 15:25

Shimrra Jamaane: Aug 10, 2007; Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.

Some patsfans have some interesting opinions about Manning potentially being out for the season.

quote:

Can you imagine a more perfect succession plan created and conspired to by Manning and Polian. Manning provides a "hometown" discount and gets a year off to rehab. Indy tanks and gets rewarded with andrew Luck who will provide two decades of glory post_Manning. Plot worthy of a Hollywood movie. And if the movie gets made guess who gets screen writers and creative credits: Manning and Polian.

# ? Sep 5, 2011 03:08

BlindSite: Feb 8, 2009

Shimrra Jamaane posted:

Some patsfans have some interesting opinions about Manning potentially being out for the season.

It would be glorious for Indy fans

# ? Sep 5, 2011 04:00

pathetic little tramp: Dec 12, 2005; by Hillary Clinton's assassins; Fallen Rib

Shimrra Jamaane posted:

Some patsfans have some interesting opinions about Manning potentially being out for the season.

The worst part is he says it's a great movie plot. Who the gently caress would watch "Peyton Manning plays video games for a whole year: The Movie" ?

....actually I would.

# ? Sep 5, 2011 04:26

Flikken: Oct 23, 2009; 10,363 snaps and not a playoff win to show for it

pathetic little tramp posted:

The worst part is he says it's a great movie plot. Who the gently caress would watch "Peyton Manning lurks Something Awful for a whole year: The Movie" ?

....actually I would.

ftfy

# ? Sep 5, 2011 04:45

That Works: Jul 22, 2006; Every revolution evaporates and leaves behind only the slime of a new bureaucracy

pathetic little tramp posted:

The worst part is he says it's a great movie plot. Who the gently caress would watch "Peyton Manning plays video games for a whole year: The Movie" ?

....actually I would.

Would pay real money to watch Peyton, Archie and the other Manning break down Eli during Giants games live.

# ? Sep 5, 2011 04:55

Beautiful Ninja: Mar 26, 2009; Five time FCW Champion...of my heart.

Breaky posted:

Would pay real money to watch Peyton, Archie and the other Manning break down Eli during Giants games live.

He probably does it over Thanksgiving dinner.

# ? Sep 5, 2011 05:31

Thaddius the Large: Jul 5, 2006; It's in the five-hole!

If that's what it takes to get a season of Football Cops made, I'm down.

# ? Sep 5, 2011 05:33

Shimrra Jamaane: Aug 10, 2007; Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.

The 3rd manning brother must feel like such an outcast at the family gatherings.

# ? Sep 5, 2011 05:41

Two Tone Shoes: Jan 2, 2009; All that's missing is the ring.

Shimrra Jamaane posted:

The 3rd manning brother must feel like such an outcast at the family gatherings.

He was actually supposed to be really good coming out of highschool, but had some kind of congenital back problem that ended his career prematurely.

# ? Sep 5, 2011 05:50

Scionix: Oct 17, 2009; hoog emm xDDD

Two Tone Shoes posted:

I just saw this in the comments on ESPN:

You know that story of how the government propagated the aliens rumor at area 51, because the reality was much more sinister?

:getin:

# ? Sep 5, 2011 08:14

BlindSite: Feb 8, 2009

Two Tone Shoes posted:

He was actually supposed to be really good coming out of highschool, but had some kind of congenital back problem that ended his career prematurely.

Yeah but then again if all else failed you've at least got two rediculously wealthy siblings to mooch off of.

# ? Sep 5, 2011 10:35

Dexo: Aug 15, 2009; A city that was to live by night after the wilderness had passed. A city that was to forge out of steel and blood-red neon its own peculiar wilderness.

Shimrra Jamaane posted:

The 3rd manning brother must feel like such an outcast at the family gatherings.

"Hey Dad, Guess what? I have as many rings as you do"

# ? Sep 5, 2011 16:39

That Works: Jul 22, 2006; Every revolution evaporates and leaves behind only the slime of a new bureaucracy

The other Manning is a pretty successful investor or something like that. Last I heard he was pretty well off relative to his brothers.

# ? Sep 5, 2011 17:03

a neat cape: Feb 22, 2007; Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!

Cooper Manning owns

# ? Sep 5, 2011 18:40

Serisothikos: Dec 4, 2004; Unlimited Pasta Pass

SteelAngel2000 posted:

Cooper Manning owns

Was going to post this, because he does.

# ? Sep 5, 2011 21:46

That Works: Jul 22, 2006; Every revolution evaporates and leaves behind only the slime of a new bureaucracy

Dexo posted:

"Hey Dad, Guess what? I have as many rings as you do"

stop that.

# ? Sep 5, 2011 22:07

Flikken: Oct 23, 2009; 10,363 snaps and not a playoff win to show for it

Breaky posted:

stop that.

You guys have a Lombardi, don't complain.

# ? Sep 6, 2011 15:02

Alfred P. Pseudonym: May 29, 2006; And when you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss goes 8-8

Openbook owns

# ? Sep 13, 2011 01:32

v2vian man: Sep 1, 2007; Only question I
ever thought was hard
was do I like Kirk
or do I like Picard?

Just go...get McCoy. I dunno, run up and grab him or somthin

# ? Sep 13, 2011 01:38

Arschlochkind: Mar 29, 2010

Man that Matt Schaub guy loving sucks.

some idiot posted:

I evaluated on how many times his iver-throws, under-throws, and horrible decisions have cost us games.

He wont do that now because our defense will protect him.

But he sucks.

Yates starts by week 10.

Jesus Christ we have awful fans in Houston.

# ? Sep 13, 2011 03:35

GD_American: Jul 21, 2004; LISTEN TO WHAT I HAVE TO SAY AS IT'S INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT!

DO YALL WANT A HAM posted:

Just go...get McCoy. I dunno, run up and grab him or somthin

I mean the guy went to Texas, it shouldn't be that hard to talk him into it

# ? Sep 13, 2011 14:22

Truther Vandross: Jun 17, 2008

Arschlochkind posted:

Man that Matt Schaub guy loving sucks.

Jesus Christ we have awful fans in Houston.

This is an amazing post/av combo.

# ? Sep 13, 2011 14:30

ThatOtherGuy: Jul 15, 2006; "Size matters not. Look at my quarterback. Judge him by his size, do you? Hmm?"

Oh, Yahoo! Sports posters.

About Vick apparently wearing shorts to an interview:

quote:

Probaly had blood on his pants from decapitating a pit bull because apparantly thats what he and his friends did for fun in the african american community growing up. If he was just another thug who couldnt run fast no one would be lining up to forgive him.

# ? Sep 13, 2011 19:34

haljordan: Oct 22, 2004; the corpse of god is love.

ThatOtherGuy posted:

Oh, Yahoo! Sports posters.

About Vick apparently wearing shorts to an interview:

Well at least they said "African American" as opposed to a racial slur.

# ? Sep 13, 2011 19:46

Dexo: Aug 15, 2009; A city that was to live by night after the wilderness had passed. A city that was to forge out of steel and blood-red neon its own peculiar wilderness.

haljordan posted:

Well at least they said "African American" as opposed to a racial slur.

They probably have a word filter.

# ? Sep 13, 2011 20:03

sean10mm: Jun 29, 2005; It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, MAD-2R World

Alfred P. Pseudonym posted:

Openbook owns

Well, Dallas sports fans and their local sports media have hated on Dirk Nowitzki for being "soft" :jerkbag:

forever, and he's practically a Hall of Fame lock, so this isn't exactly a stunner.

Basically I'm mad Dallas never got hit by a meteor while I was stuck there.

# ? Sep 13, 2011 20:12

Serisothikos: Dec 4, 2004; Unlimited Pasta Pass

DO YALL WANT A HAM posted:

Just go...get McCoy. I dunno, run up and grab him or somthin

DALLAS (AP) - The sports world was shocked today when Jerry Jones announced that he had purchased the Cleveland Browns in an effort to replace uneven quarterback Tony Romo with proven winner Colt McCoy. "Someone on Facebook said go get him," Jones remarked, "so I did."

For long-suffering Cleveland fans, this is not even the first time this has happened: in 1899, the owner of the National League St. Louis Browns (now the Cardinals) purchased the Cleveland Spiders, swiftly transferring the best players to St. Louis and sending the Spiders to a 20-134 record.

# ? Sep 13, 2011 20:41

Dr_Strangelove: Dec 16, 2003; Mein Fuhrer! THEY WON!

sean10mm posted:

Basically I'm mad Dallas never got hit by a meteor while I was stuck there.

You could watch this steaming turd of a film, which features just that: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0118261/

# ? Sep 14, 2011 06:31

Tae: Oct 24, 2010; Hello? Can you hear me? ...Perhaps if I shout? AAAAAAAAAH!

Serisothikos posted:

DALLAS (AP) - The sports world was shocked today when Jerry Jones announced that he had purchased the Cleveland Browns in an effort to replace uneven quarterback Tony Romo with proven winner Colt McCoy. "Someone on Facebook said go get him," Jones remarked, "so I did."

For long-suffering Cleveland fans, this is not even the first time this has happened: in 1899, the owner of the National League St. Louis Browns (now the Cardinals) purchased the Cleveland Spiders, swiftly transferring the best players to St. Louis and sending the Spiders to a 20-134 record.

Holy poo poo, that actually happened?

# ? Sep 14, 2011 10:17

Charlz Guybon: Nov 16, 2010

Serisothikos posted:

DALLAS (AP) - The sports world was shocked today when Jerry Jones announced that he had purchased the Cleveland Browns in an effort to replace uneven quarterback Tony Romo with proven winner Colt McCoy. "Someone on Facebook said go get him," Jones remarked, "so I did."

For long-suffering Cleveland fans, this is not even the first time this has happened: in 1899, the owner of the National League St. Louis Browns (now the Cardinals) purchased the Cleveland Spiders, swiftly transferring the best players to St. Louis and sending the Spiders to a 20-134 record.

I knew the Orioles were the Browns before they moved to Baltimore, but I didn't know that the Cardinals were known as the Browns before that. Cool

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baltimore_Orioles#St._Louis_Browns

Oh, and what happened was even worse. The owner of the Spiders bought the Browns, renamed them the Perfectos.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cleveland_Spiders#1899:_the_debacle

quote:

Believing the Perfectos would draw greater attendance in more densely populated St. Louis, the Robisons transferred most of the Cleveland stars, including future Baseball Hall of Famers Cy Young, Jesse Burkett, and Bobby Wallace, to St. Louis.

They also shifted a large number of Cleveland home games to the road (for instance, the original Opening Day game was shifted to St. Louis). In 1900, the St. Louis Perfectos changed their name to the Cardinals, the name they use to this day.

With a decimated roster, the Spiders made a wretched showing. They finished 20-134 (.130), the worst in baseball history. The Spiders finished 84 games behind the pennant-winning Brooklyn Superbas and 35 games behind the next-to-last (11th) place Washington Senators.

The Spiders' first 16 home games drew a total of 3,049 fans, or 199 fans per game. Due to the wretched attendance figures, the other NL teams refused to come to League Park, as their cut of the revenue wasn't nearly enough to cover their hotel and travel expenses. The Spiders were thus forced to play 85 of their remaining 93 games on the road. The team played only 42 home games during the season, including only eight after July 1.

The 1899 Spiders were 11-101 (.098) on the road, and 9-33 (.214) at home. The 101 road losses is a major-league record, and will never be seriously threatened under current scheduling practices, as teams can only play up to 81 home and 81 away games (excluding one- or three-game playoffs). The team's longest winning streak of the season was two games, which they accomplished once: on May 20 and May 21. Spiders opponents scored ten or more runs 49 times in 154 games. Pitchers Jim Hughey (4-30) and Charlie Knepper (4-22) tied for the team lead in wins. Only 6,088 fans paid to attend Spiders home games in 1899, for a pitiful average of less than 145 spectators per game in 9,000-seat League Park.

The 1962 New York Mets, 40-120 (.250), and 2003 Detroit Tigers, 43-119 (.265), own the modern records in their respective leagues for the most losses, and thus draw frequent comparisons to the 1899 Spiders for futility.

Aftermath

The Robisons' decision to essentially reduce the Spiders to minor league standards, along with other intra-league raiding such as that conducted by the Dodgers, unwittingly helped pave the way to the National League's loss of its major league monopoly. The 12th-place Spiders were one of four teams contracted out of the National League at the end of the 1899 season. The others were the 11th-place Senators, the ninth-place Louisville Colonels and, surprisingly, the fourth-place Baltimore Orioles.

The Robisons sold the assets of the Spiders team to Charles Somers and John Kilfoyle in 1900.[2] In 1900, the then-minor Western League fielded a team called the Cleveland Lake Shores, and in 1901, after renaming itself the American League, the team became a new Cleveland Blues team, and eventually the Cleveland Indians.

Charlz Guybon fucked around with this message at 10:40 on Sep 14, 2011

# ? Sep 14, 2011 10:38

Serisothikos: Dec 4, 2004; Unlimited Pasta Pass

Right, I forgot the Robisons owned the Spiders first :shobon:

# ? Sep 14, 2011 12:58

wilderthanmild: Jun 21, 2010; Posting shit; Grimey Drawer

Serisothikos posted:

DALLAS (AP) - The sports world was shocked today when Jerry Jones announced that he had purchased the Cleveland Browns in an effort to replace uneven quarterback Tony Romo with proven winner Colt McCoy. "Someone on Facebook said go get him," Jones remarked, "so I did."

For long-suffering Cleveland fans, this is not even the first time this has happened: in 1899, the owner of the National League St. Louis Browns (now the Cardinals) purchased the Cleveland Spiders, swiftly transferring the best players to St. Louis and sending the Spiders to a 20-134 record.

The sad part is I believed this may have actually happened for a second and checked google.

# ? Sep 14, 2011 17:55

Black Lighter: Sep 6, 2010; Just keep looking at what we're doing, keep watering and ask yourselves first and know 'Are you watering? And are you fertilizing every day?' So when it's time to pop, it'll pop.

Alfred P. Pseudonym posted:

I just like how he puts "good" in quotation marks. Like his Colt McCoy hard-on is ironic.

# ? Sep 15, 2011 16:34

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# ? May 15, 2024 19:42

Shimrra Jamaane: Aug 10, 2007; Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.

Looks like some people at Patsfans are already predicting for the Pats to go 2-6 through the first half stretch.

# ? Sep 26, 2011 02:23

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