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generally I prefer
Apr 17, 2006

iajanus posted:

You'll probably find it far more natural to dive one way than the other, so if it's coming to the other side you may find it easy to (almost) slide tackle in that direction keeping your legs out and arms and torso up (or at least aware in case of a shot across your body). As always, making yourself as big as possible always helps. There's a good exercise we use at practice that helps in speed and reaction work: start by lying down at one goalpost with someone on the edge of the box with the ball on one side and someone near the spot. As the person on the edge of the box passes it to the one on the spot, jump up and sprint towards them. They then shoot, picking any direction; you try to save it. It really helps you get used to having to gauge the distances to come out and when to stay back, as well as practising reactions saves. As always, saving low is a matter of practice, so just keep at it and you'll find it gets easier.

Thanks for the tips, I'll definitely give the drill a try in warmup this weekend, and it'll probably be better practice for the strikers as well.

And yeah it sounds like you're fairly pacey/got good stamina so stretching the defenders with your runs should be really effective, especially if they're slow on the turn. Try and mix it up between running from deep and running off the defender, and, if you're playing on the wing, if you throw in one or two diagonal runs inside (with the one-twos like you mentioned), you'll prevent yourself becoming too predictable with always looking to cross.

If you are a lone striker and your team is on the defensive, your teammates are correct. You'll do them more good by harassing their defense/keeper in possession or holding the ball up at the other end than you will in your own half. If they hoof it out and there's no-one to challenge for it, it means it's just going to be coming back at your goal. You sound like you're getting the hang of things pretty well though. :)

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McCloud24
May 23, 2008

You call yourself a knight; what is that?

angry armadillo posted:

you kind of have to time you runs to meet him on the edge of the area and then slide up to the line.

This. I had crap defenders this year and I hadn't played seriously in a while, so I needed to re-learn my timing for coming after someone. I guess it must be something I've got a natural sense for, because my team doesn't practice, we just play once a week, and after one game I was taking the ball off of people's feet again almost every time I had to come forward.

Ramagamma
Feb 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
Had a great game on Monday night.

Lazily wandered about up-front, Inzaghi style and managed to net four goals. One was lucky because the slowness of the volley rolling along the ground totally decieved the keeper, clad in Celtic colours, and so squirmed from his grasp bottom corner bound. One was me blatantly hitting a wide shot, the kind that would be a throw-in on a full size pitch, which banged off the arse of my mate Kev in Goal at a 90 degree angle right into the middle of the goal.

Other two were peach though. Chased a loose-ball right to the edge of the box and jagged it past keeper right into the bottom corner and with the last kick of the match did the exact same thing from the exact same position.

Back to calmly marshalling the defensive line this weekend, I think.

angry armadillo
Jul 26, 2010

McCloud24 posted:

This. I had crap defenders this year and I hadn't played seriously in a while, so I needed to re-learn my timing for coming after someone. I guess it must be something I've got a natural sense for, because my team doesn't practice, we just play once a week, and after one game I was taking the ball off of people's feet again almost every time I had to come forward.

Generally in 6 a side round here the keeper can't come out the area and the players cant go in :(

I've only ever played 1 league where it was like 'normal' football and I'm generally a bit nuts and played a bit more like a sweeper, I'd be on the halfway line for corners :D

McCloud24
May 23, 2008

You call yourself a knight; what is that?

angry armadillo posted:

Generally in 6 a side round here the keeper can't come out the area and the players cant go in :(

I've only ever played 1 league where it was like 'normal' football and I'm generally a bit nuts and played a bit more like a sweeper, I'd be on the halfway line for corners :D

Yeah, I was playing six a side as well, but people could come and go out of the box as they pleased. I never came too far out when the ball was in the other half just because we were playing on a short field and it could get back to me at any time.

The biggest problem I had was that we were playing on an all-purpose out door turf field at my university. It has lines painted on it like an American football field, and some smaller lines in the middle of the field. Rather than set the goals so that the box was marked out by a solid line, it'd be marked out on top by one of those smaller lines, which were only about two feet wide, and a pair of cones to the side, placed parallel to the goalposts. The first game I played there were two or three times where I just didn't even realize I was outside of it and grabbed the ball instead of kicking it. Fortunately, there were two different refs, so both times I was able to convince them I just hadn't realized the extent of the box, which was true, but if it had been the first guy that had seen me the second time it would've been a free kick for the other team.

Scikar
Nov 20, 2005

5? Seriously?

Rankine Over Gash posted:

Forgot to update - I had a great time at five a side. Absolutely shattered but really enjoyed it and bagged a goal as our team won. The game was an hour long and swapped keepers every goal, worked when you needed a rest.

One problem though, towards the end of the game I was getting horrible cramp in both my calves. I know I should warm up better but good god, how do I stifle the cramp actually IN game?

Once it hits all you can do is stretch. To stop getting cramp you basically have to drink isotonic drinks. Plain water leeches electrolytes out of your muscles which causes cramp. You can make your own isotonic drinks from orange juice, sugar and salt if you find Lucozade etc too expensive.

iajanus
Aug 17, 2004

NUMBER 1 QUEENSLAND SUPPORTER
MAROONS 2023 STATE OF ORIGIN CHAMPIONS FOR LIFE



All these horror stories about artificial grass makes me love the fact that here in aus we just play on grass fields, although some of them end up being mostly dirt by the end of winter if it's too hot....

Scikar
Nov 20, 2005

5? Seriously?

I much prefer artificial pitches, at this level grass fields are always either too sodden or too dry and you never know where the ball is going.

Didn't stop me scoring a 25 yard screamer today though. :smug:

McCloud24
May 23, 2008

You call yourself a knight; what is that?

iajanus posted:

All these horror stories about artificial grass makes me love the fact that here in aus we just play on grass fields, although some of them end up being mostly dirt by the end of winter if it's too hot....

I'm not a fan of turf because of the little rubber bits they use to simulate dirt. They get everywhere, and I've never gotten worse burns after sliding than I did in the first couple games of this season. I'm also still finding little pieces of artificial grass around my apartment. I don't hate it, but I definitely prefer grass.

Rankine Over Gash
Feb 18, 2010

We had our meetings in a room with a bar and Brian Clough said to me "Millsy, get the beers in and get yourself a Guinness". I told him I didn't drink. He said "Get yourself a fucking Guinness" so I did. I drank it, pulled a face and then he named me in the team. I never said no again.
loving horrible weather here in Manchester. Wind and rain. Cannot wait for five a side tonight. Buzzing.

A friend has blagged me a base layer top which I am looking forward to. In these cold horrible conditions are base layer shorts good cop or should I just run about?

Rankine Over Gash
Feb 18, 2010

We had our meetings in a room with a bar and Brian Clough said to me "Millsy, get the beers in and get yourself a Guinness". I told him I didn't drink. He said "Get yourself a fucking Guinness" so I did. I drank it, pulled a face and then he named me in the team. I never said no again.
Managed to pull a groin strain minutes into five a side last night. Struggled to run for the rest of the match and couldn't get rid of it by stretching. Walked home in agony and after an ice pack and a stretch down of the affected area I'm limping about but Christ it hurts.

How long am I out for? Can't I do some stretches periodically to make everything better? Am I dying? Why?

Ramagamma
Feb 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
Always irritating when this happens, especially right at the start of a game. Last time I pulled my groin I wasn't comfortable moving for 10 days or so and maybe didn't play football until the game 3 weeks after it first happened.

Fryhtaning
Jul 21, 2010

Believe it or not, soccer/football is catching on across the pond more than ever.

The most recent victim - me, a 30 year old lifetime fanatic of baseball who last touched a soccer ball when he was 5 years old.

Not sure why I never really gave soccer a chance before, but I was hooked after watching USA vs Japan in the World Cup finals. Also known as the first time I've watched a soccer game from starting whistle to the end of the match. Also known as the day before I went out and bought cleats and a ball and inquired with a local casual soccer league.

I probably should have considered how... long... the grass at a typical local park is before I went out and practiced for the next week before the first game. I might as well have been practicing my golf drives with a sand wedge, because there was no distinction between my touches and my kicks on that first game when all that training came to fruition on superfine turf. Doh.

20 games later, I still suck. But that's OK because it's a 30 and over coed league (7 a-side, minimum 2 of them 18 and over girls... which is kinda awesome) on a 55 yard field, so I just run my rear end off for 50 minutes (I'm a runner anyway) and disrupt the opponent's attack as much as I can and focus on good passing and not coughing up the ball. Full disclosure - I loving suck at keeping the ball, and trying to knock down a ball with a lot of spin is owning me. Also, old fat guys strike the ball way harder than me.

As a new soccer fan, I decided early on that I should get a team to follow. Jesus gently caress, are there a lot of leagues out there. And why are there more English-speaking fantards in the heated Barca/RM rivalry (you know, where the teams and announcers speak Spanish?) than there are English-speaking fantards in American football?? Anyways, between being of English ancestry myself, hating rooting for the perennial champs, having my only other team (LA Angels) being solid red, and coming from a Beatles-obsessed family, it didn't take watching many games for me to pledge allegiance to the banner of Anfield. I'm beginning to see why some insist on YNWA = You'll Never Win Again.

Also, gently caress you if you have a problem with me calling it "soccer", you biscuit-and-chip-eating limeys.

Insanely Sikh
Aug 26, 2009

Winner, SA's Sikh Of the Year, 2013
Anyway.

Had a fun 5-a-side game today, friendly but against one of the league teams. I had a pretty good game but only realised at the end that my left leg was drenched from the knee-down in dry blood, but just above my black socks so no one noticed it. One of the guys went in for a high ball and basically stabbed my left leg with his blades, just below the knee, opening up two surprisingly big gashes. They're stinging now and it's pretty annoying but I just found it funny I didn't notice the wound till about 50 minutes after it happened.

Still, we won by 6 goals :getin:

joshtothemaxx
Nov 17, 2008

I will have a whole army of zombies! A zombie Marine Corps, a zombie Navy Corps, zombie Space Cadets...
My indoor season just ended. We were quite successful. I've only been playing soccer for a year now after almost 20 years of baseball, so I still don't really know what I'm doing sometimes. Since I have over a month off I figure it's time to read some coaching tips or something.

Anyone have any good reads or advice for me? I played center-back most of the season quite well, but then I moved to a right wing back position to take advantage of my speed. I definitely play WAY better in this position, but when attacking all I really do well is go outside and cross. Pointers? Runs to make?

Vinestalk
Jul 2, 2011
Do you plan on playing outdoor as well? Smaller pitches in indoor obviously lend themselves to faster play and shorter passes. You'll have a lot more ground to cover if you plan on playing outdoor.

The two biggest problems wing backs face are:

1.) Going too far forward too often and not tracking back. You can tire out quickly if you're bombing forward constantly and wingers/forwards will take advantage of the space you give them. You shouldn't go forward if the ball is on the opposite sideline and that left wing back is already going forward. You need to be back there with your central defenders in case poo poo goes south.
2.) Chasing every winger who thinks they're Ashley Young. When you get suckered out towards the sideline, you leave a huge gap between you and the closest central defender. You can hope your midfielder tracks back and covers that space to prevent runs or you can play it cool and keep a tight defensive line. Usually that midfielder friend of yours is too slow and someone on the other team will always take advantage of that. Most wingers will cut in and run at you if you give them that opportunity. Let 'em. You can stand your ground and you know you got your central defenders nearby in case you cock it up.

Other than that, get used to overlapping and crossing. It's your bread an butter.

angry armadillo
Jul 26, 2010

Hallowed Turban posted:

Anyway.

Had a fun 5-a-side game today, friendly but against one of the league teams. I had a pretty good game but only realised at the end that my left leg was drenched from the knee-down in dry blood, but just above my black socks so no one noticed it. One of the guys went in for a high ball and basically stabbed my left leg with his blades, just below the knee, opening up two surprisingly big gashes. They're stinging now and it's pretty annoying but I just found it funny I didn't notice the wound till about 50 minutes after it happened.

Still, we won by 6 goals :getin:

my knees are pretty weak because I dive on them so much in goal, I cut them open at the slightest contact with astro turf but it never really stings til you stop playing. I put it down to adrenaline or something

Vinestalk posted:

2.) Chasing every winger who thinks they're Ashley Young. When you get suckered out towards the sideline, you leave a huge gap between you and the closest central defender. You can hope your midfielder tracks back and covers that space to prevent runs or you can play it cool and keep a tight defensive line. Usually that midfielder friend of yours is too slow and someone on the other team will always take advantage of that. Most wingers will cut in and run at you if you give them that opportunity. Let 'em. You can stand your ground and you know you got your central defenders nearby in case you cock it up

Panic'y goalkeepers will tell you to go and mark tightly every time this happens. It annoys me slightly but I just give a thumbs up to acknowledge I'm aware of the wide player until they leave me alone haha.

nervana
Dec 9, 2010
what if they try to cross the ball? you just let them do it? :ohdear:

Scikar
Nov 20, 2005

5? Seriously?

You can't just ignore the winger and let him cross the ball under no pressure. But don't get too tight to the winger when he hasn't got the ball. The number 1 job of a fullback is not to mark the opposing winger out of the game, it's to defend the space around and behind the centre back next to him. So the fullback should aim to be 10 yards away from the centre back, but closing down the winger if the ball is played to him (the centre back should shift across when this happens to avoid leaving a gap).

Put it this way, if the fullback is quite narrow and the winger receives the ball in space on the wing, he still has to get past that fullback to shoot, and at best he can put in a quick cross. If instead the fullback marks the winger too tightly out of position, another attacker can run into that gap, receive a pass and immediately have a shot on goal. So defending that space is much more important.

In an attacking sense just remember to only run forward when there's a space there. Don't just run forward for the sake of running forward, you just make more work for yourself getting back, and give yourself and the winger in front of you less room to work with. You shouldn't need to take anybody on, it's a big risk as a fullback. Instead if you make smart runs into space you should give yourself plenty of room to make a first time cross.

McCloud24
May 23, 2008

You call yourself a knight; what is that?

nervana posted:

what if they try to cross the ball? you just let them do it? :ohdear:

You don't necessary want to commit to trying to snag the ball, because a good player might be able to just go right around you, but like the poster above me said, you can't just let him cross it under no pressure. As a keeper, what I would want you to do would basically be to apply pressure to the point where he just doesn't have room to make the cross he wants and try to force some type of mistake, or at least for him to have to rethink his plan and dump it off to someone. If you get an opportunity to take the ball, great, but don't over-commit.

CAMiasm
Oct 5, 2006

Go MC Saints!

angry armadillo posted:

my knees are pretty weak because I dive on them so much in goal, I cut them open at the slightest contact with astro turf but it never really stings til you stop playing. I put it down to adrenaline or something

i had the same problem with my knees, so i decided to invest in some pants. i used Joma for a while, but they shredded too easily. i switched to uhlsport, and they're much more comfortable, stylish, and durable. highly recommended

http://www.amazon.com/uhlsport-1005527-Uhlsport-Anatomic-Goalkeeper/dp/B0062T7GCI

angry armadillo
Jul 26, 2010

nervana posted:

what if they try to cross the ball? you just let them do it? :ohdear:

mostly i try not to over commit, contain them in the corner and force them to pass backwards

joshtothemaxx
Nov 17, 2008

I will have a whole army of zombies! A zombie Marine Corps, a zombie Navy Corps, zombie Space Cadets...

Vinestalk posted:

Do you plan on playing outdoor as well? Smaller pitches in indoor obviously lend themselves to faster play and shorter passes. You'll have a lot more ground to cover if you plan on playing outdoor.

The two biggest problems wing backs face are:

1.) Going too far forward too often and not tracking back. You can tire out quickly if you're bombing forward constantly and wingers/forwards will take advantage of the space you give them. You shouldn't go forward if the ball is on the opposite sideline and that left wing back is already going forward. You need to be back there with your central defenders in case poo poo goes south.
2.) Chasing every winger who thinks they're Ashley Young. When you get suckered out towards the sideline, you leave a huge gap between you and the closest central defender. You can hope your midfielder tracks back and covers that space to prevent runs or you can play it cool and keep a tight defensive line. Usually that midfielder friend of yours is too slow and someone on the other team will always take advantage of that. Most wingers will cut in and run at you if you give them that opportunity. Let 'em. You can stand your ground and you know you got your central defenders nearby in case you cock it up.

Other than that, get used to overlapping and crossing. It's your bread an butter.

Thanks for this! Yes, I plan on playing outdoor for the first time ever this coming summer. I appreciate it greatly.

Insanely Sikh
Aug 26, 2009

Winner, SA's Sikh Of the Year, 2013

angry armadillo posted:

my knees are pretty weak because I dive on them so much in goal, I cut them open at the slightest contact with astro turf but it never really stings til you stop playing. I put it down to adrenaline or something

Yeah, I agree. That stuff does burn pretty badly too.

Rankine Over Gash
Feb 18, 2010

We had our meetings in a room with a bar and Brian Clough said to me "Millsy, get the beers in and get yourself a Guinness". I told him I didn't drink. He said "Get yourself a fucking Guinness" so I did. I drank it, pulled a face and then he named me in the team. I never said no again.
Looking to get some mates together for a five a side team in the new year. [url=http://www.powerleague.co.uk]PowerLeague[/quote] have offered us a place in a mixed ability league. £10 deposit for the team to join the league and £40 a week, per team, to play. That's a loving fortune, even with a full five a side team and two subs.

Total Meatlove
Jan 28, 2007

:japan:
Rangers died, shoujo Hitler cried ;_;


It's 6 quid each a week, that doesn't seem too bad?

Rankine Over Gash
Feb 18, 2010

We had our meetings in a room with a bar and Brian Clough said to me "Millsy, get the beers in and get yourself a Guinness". I told him I didn't drink. He said "Get yourself a fucking Guinness" so I did. I drank it, pulled a face and then he named me in the team. I never said no again.

ibroxmassive posted:

It's 6 quid each a week, that doesn't seem too bad?

I suppose that IS acceptable if we get the full seven. But anyone who's ever attempted playing five a side frequently will know getting a basic five will occasionally be a struggle and then it's a bit steep at £8.

Unfortunately there doesn't appear to be any other local leagues. Certainly nothing I can find online. How depressing.

Scikar
Nov 20, 2005

5? Seriously?

It's definitely expensive but if there's a proper ref then that's where the extra money is going over a basic pitch. Having played in 5 a side leagues without a ref before I would gladly pay extra for one.

Ramagamma
Feb 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
We have 2 options where I live. An outdoor pitch owned by a pub 5 miles down the road. This costs £15 for an hour although they arn't stict about the times. For example they give you cards for the floodlights which are always an hour and 10 minutes. I've seen us play there starting at 8 and finishing at 9:45.

They don't really care as long as no one else has the pitch booked after you. You do have to provide your own footballs though. Its a big enough pitch that we usually play 6's on it although 5's and 7's are both possible. So usually it works out at £1.50 each.

Second option is the local health centre. Indoor pitch, £4 for a strict hour, £3 if you have the £10 per year membership. Ball provided. Also nice because its 10 minutes walk from my house.

£6 for a game per week sounds reasonable to me. Bonus if you get a referee provided. Also bonus to know that theres organisation being done by someone else and that if you get a full team together you will be sorted. Its murder finding 12 or 14 players for a night sometimes.

Insanely Sikh
Aug 26, 2009

Winner, SA's Sikh Of the Year, 2013
I pay £9 for two hours at my Powerleague but £6 for an hour at the Powerleague at Old Street - they're pretty pricy.

FlickingFire
Nov 8, 2011
About to start my 2012 season for the mighty Saints FC here in Australia. I usually play centre mid, I prefer wing but our wingers are mighty good/quick so I'll probably have to get used to a more central position.

Somewhat related, anyone know any good sites for drills/training sessions to get the team pumped for season kickoff?

edit: For reference, here i pay the equivalent to 220 pounds for a full season of footy (late January club training through to September finals). That includes refs, several good pitches, and an end of year piss-up. It's a good club <3

FlickingFire fucked around with this message at 15:29 on Jan 4, 2012

Ramagamma
Feb 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
Finally getting the first few games of 2012 kicked off this weekend with 3 games in 3 days. Monday night with Steves lot as per usual, saturday morning game with me and Steves best against Euans best and the "happens if I get enough players" sunday night romp with my guys.

Stoked like Anthony, I am. Girlfriend is moaning since I'm playing all throughout the weekend but this is like the first game since halfway through December and I treated the dame to a night out at the local curry house on New Years Day so she ain't got no dakka here.

My ambition for 2012: Score more than 3 headers throughout the calendar year. I'm the only player in any of our 5's sides to ever score a header (no mean feat for a 5'4 fullback) and all 3 of my efforts with the bonce happened last year in November/December so I'm calling this a realistic ambition.

Don't ask me why its taken nearly 3 years for anyone to score a header, why 3 happened in the space of 2 months and 2 of them in consecutive games or why its only the short-arse who can pull it off, I just got them bobby carlos skills :ninja:

iajanus
Aug 17, 2004

NUMBER 1 QUEENSLAND SUPPORTER
MAROONS 2023 STATE OF ORIGIN CHAMPIONS FOR LIFE



FlickingFire posted:

About to start my 2012 season for the mighty Saints FC here in Australia. I usually play centre mid, I prefer wing but our wingers are mighty good/quick so I'll probably have to get used to a more central position.

Somewhat related, anyone know any good sites for drills/training sessions to get the team pumped for season kickoff?

edit: For reference, here i pay the equivalent to 220 pounds for a full season of footy (late January club training through to September finals). That includes refs, several good pitches, and an end of year piss-up. It's a good club <3

Which Saints FC? I'm a Saints FC player, but probably not the same one. Definitely not happy with the current one after my wife got the fun of sitting near some other WAGs and listening to them blaming our entire season on me - sure, as the goalie I'd let some in, but I don't think it was all my fault, especially since we scored ~/.75 goals per game. Sigh.

FlickingFire
Nov 8, 2011

iajanus posted:

Which Saints FC? I'm a Saints FC player, but probably not the same one. Definitely not happy with the current one after my wife got the fun of sitting near some other WAGs and listening to them blaming our entire season on me - sure, as the goalie I'd let some in, but I don't think it was all my fault, especially since we scored ~/.75 goals per game. Sigh.

Almost definitely not the same one mate, I'm living in Townsville so we play in the NQ comp. Our full club title is actually Saints Eagles Souths (christ what a mouthful) because we're a merge of 3 clubs. But Saints does us for short.

People take footy way too seriously sometimes. Not sure what your circumstances are but for me ultimately it's a bit of fun, and I'll stop playing when I stop enjoying myself. If I were you I wouldn't be hanging around to get bagged by some WAG twats.

Fryhtaning
Jul 21, 2010

iajanus posted:

Definitely not happy with the current one after my wife got the fun of sitting near some other WAGs and listening to them blaming our entire season on me - sure, as the goalie I'd let some in, but I don't think it was all my fault, especially since we scored ~/.75 goals per game. Sigh.

I just introduce myself as "Hi, I'm Fryhtaning. I suck, so please put me on defense and don't pass to me if it means I'll have to dribble. Thanks, and have a nice day."

sweek0
May 22, 2006

Let me fall out the window
With confetti in my hair
Deal out jacks or better
On a blanket by the stairs
I'll tell you all my secrets
But I lie about my past

Hallowed Turban posted:

I pay £9 for two hours at my Powerleague but £6 for an hour at the Powerleague at Old Street - they're pretty pricy.

Old Street as in London?

I've been meaning to join a team but I don't have any friends who play or would want to, apart from people on the other side of London which wouldn't work out. Old Street would be a great location for me.

Ramagamma
Feb 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
Christ I wish I lived in a big city like London. I'm sure there would be groups who are always desperate for players. Might even get a game of Cricket down there.

Scikar
Nov 20, 2005

5? Seriously?

If you just want to get involved a bit then see if there's a Goals centre near you, they keep lists of reserve players so that if a team is a player down at short notice the centre will get someone off the list to play for them. Form what I've seen it sounds like the reserve players don't have to be paid for either.

Insanely Sikh
Aug 26, 2009

Winner, SA's Sikh Of the Year, 2013

sweek0 posted:

Old Street as in London?

I've been meaning to join a team but I don't have any friends who play or would want to, apart from people on the other side of London which wouldn't work out. Old Street would be a great location for me.

Yep, under the Arches.

They're not full sized 5-a-side pitches but narrow, indoor pitches more suited to 4-a-side. It gets ridiculously hot and stuffy in there but it's not too bad. There's also a powerleague near Warren Street (but I haven't played here yet).

http://maps.google.co.uk/maps?hl=en...=2&ved=0CAwQ_BI

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iajanus
Aug 17, 2004

NUMBER 1 QUEENSLAND SUPPORTER
MAROONS 2023 STATE OF ORIGIN CHAMPIONS FOR LIFE



Fryhtaning posted:

I just introduce myself as "Hi, I'm Fryhtaning. I suck, so please put me on defense and don't pass to me if it means I'll have to dribble. Thanks, and have a nice day."
Back when I wasn't as fit I used to discuss with the person I was marking the possibility of having a gentlemen's agreement not to run anymore in the game.

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