Movie Posters - The good, the bad & the awful

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > Cinema Discusso > Movie Posters - The good, the bad & the awful

keet: Aug 20, 2005

fenix down posted:

Pretty belated but I always thought the Puss In Boots poster was a parody of thoe behindtheback posters, if not literally a Bandaras poster parody.

# ? Feb 21, 2012 23:25

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# ? May 13, 2024 23:46

Desperado Bones: Aug 29, 2009; Cute, adorable, and creepy at the same time!

Oh. OH.
I seriously don't understand sometimes,I mean, I bet there's people in DeviantArt who could do a better work nearly for free. Edit: That's not Nathan Explosion, that's Nicolas Cage's older son...who could actually pass for Nathan Explosion. Cool.

# ? Feb 22, 2012 02:37

Maxwell Lord: Dec 12, 2008; I am drowning.
There is no sign of land.
You are coming down with me, hand in unlovable hand.

And I hope you die.

I hope we both die.; Grimey Drawer

Desperado Bones posted:

Oh. OH.
I seriously don't understand sometimes,I mean, I bet there's people in DeviantArt who could do a better work nearly for free. Edit: That's not Nathan Explosion, that's Nicolas Cage's older son...who could actually pass for Nathan Explosion. Cool.

And introducing Weston Coppola Cage as Thorean, Director of Photography!

# ? Feb 22, 2012 02:44

GonSmithe: Apr 25, 2010; Perhaps it's in the nature of television. Just waves in space.

westborn posted:

colinFIRTHTHEgeoffreyRUSHKING'SSPEECHhelenaBONHAMCARTER is such an odd name for a movie.

# ? Feb 22, 2012 02:56

GrumbleGrumble: Jul 11, 2004

GonSmithe posted:

colinFIRTHTHEgeoffreyRUSHKING'SSPEECHhelenaBONHAMCARTER is such an odd name for a movie.

I like the rhythm the heads create, at least. Even though they look like they were shot with a modern Canon / iPhone / 50's sitcom camera in that order.

# ? Feb 22, 2012 04:16

Gonz: Dec 22, 2009; "Jesus, did I say that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me?"

Roland Kickinger is the guy who was the body double for Arnold in T4.

It's not surprising to see his career hasn't taken off.

# ? Feb 22, 2012 05:07

Robert Denby: Sep 9, 2007; Denial isn't just a river in Egypt, huh? Nah, get fucked mate.

westborn posted:

As bad as this poster is (and it was literally so bad the director mentioned how much he hated it in just about every interview he was involved in), it's still miles better than the poster for the PG-13 version (yes, they made a PG-13 version of "The King's Speech" and spent money to release it in theaters):

A PG-13 rating is more important than Helena Bonham Carter.

To cleanse the palette, have a good poster. This is a limited edition poster for "John Carter" that'll be handed out at IMAX midnight screenings:

# ? Feb 22, 2012 05:11

emgeejay: Dec 8, 2007

Legion of One posted:

I remember being told that one of the actors for this (i think it was Dane Cook) called it one of the most generic posters hes ever seen, think he used more Colourful language though.

Dane Cook posted:

Dear Diary

Before the downpour let me just say that my new movie, "My Best Friends Girl," is the best / funniest film I've done yet. It's got a terrific cast. Kate Hudson, Alec Baldwin, Jason Biggs, and myself really kicked the funny around. This movie showcases our talents accordingly as it expands on them. It's a fun R-rated flick. An edgy comedy with a dash of romance.

That being said, let me address the fact that although I'm not a marketing major, I have a bit of a trusted reputation after 18 years self promoting. I'd like to inform you I had no say in this marketing campaign, but if I did, things would be different since it is obvious that this poster is boring / odd and has zero to do with the movie I performed in.

Here are a few things that truly blow about my upcoming movie poster to promote the release of the film opening on September 19th:

1. Graphics: Whoever photoshopped our poster must have done so at taser point with 3 minutes to fulfill their hostage takers deranged obligations. They should have called Donnie Hoyle and had him give a tutorial using "You Suck at Photoshop" templates. This is so glossy it makes Entertainment Weekly look wooden.

2. My head: The left side of my face seems to be melting off of my skull. I guess I am looking directly into the Ark of the Covenant? Are they going for the bells palsy thing here? My left side looks like Brittany Spears' vagina.

3. The Stare: My character apparently has fallen in love with a strand of Kate Hudsons hair. Kate's mannequin is desperately in love with the inside of my right ear while Jason is half stunned, half corsage.

4. Lips: It looks like I'm wearing Maybelline Water Shine Diamonds Liquid Lipstick. My characters name is now Winter Solstice and I'm a hooker with a heart of gold. Jason is my floral carrying pimp, while Kate is my first trick!

5. Fashion: My character is sporting a very high collar I mean drat they should be snow capped at that altitude. It's going for the vampire lurking in the castle basement vibe. An Olympic pole vaulter would have a tough go clearing that collar. I'm also able to turn my head comfortably 180 degrees, because I was raised in an abandoned barn by a family of owls.

6. Flesh: It's no secret that I'm more rugged facially due to a drunken visit by the teen acne fairy, but according to this poster I've got perfect porcelain flesh. I look like the fuckin' bathroom floor at Caesars Palace. One of Marie Osmond's dolls would look at me and say "poo poo � that guys got flawless skin!"

7. Hair: It's actually a close up shot of Tom Sellecks Magnum P.I. mustache they photo-slapped on my noggin'.

8. The set: Pick one. This entire film takes place:

A. on Gattaca B. at the Fortress of Solitude C. inside a crystal wind chime

9. The cast: Alec Baldwin is so loving funny in this movie! Is he on the poster? I think so. He plays the wise talking plant Jason is clutching.

10. Final thoughts: I set out to make a movie like the contemporary men and women, that you and I respect, are making. My generation of comedians, actors, directors and producers that I wish to collaborate with as I build a solid body of work.

Granted, one poster stinking up the joint isn't the end of the world. Yet it sends the wrong message about our movie and I just wanted you to know, that I feel the pain. I really love the film and I know from past missteps marketing wise that the wrong poster sends the wrong audience into the theater.

Thanks again for all of your support. If you have not seen the red band trailer (which is excellent and represents the flick accordingly) click on the link at the top of this page.

PS - "Its funny what love can make you do." I just threw up all over this awful poster. Wow, wait � it looks better.

Hey � I love my new movie. Jeez � it IS funny what love can make you do.

# ? Feb 22, 2012 05:36

Stare-Out: Mar 11, 2010

That's the first time Dane Cook has done something to make me laugh. :ohdear:

Robert Denby posted:

To cleanse the palette, have a good poster. This is a limited edition poster for "John Carter" that'll be handed out at IMAX midnight screenings:

Does this still take place on Mars? I don't really care about this movie but I know the original story was on Mars, and Phobos and Deimos aren't perfectly spherical like in that poster. :arghfist:

# ? Feb 22, 2012 06:32

frumpsnake: Jan 30, 2001; The sad part is, he wasn't always evil.

Robert Denby posted:

FIRTH THE RUSH, THIS FRIDAY!

The funniest part is that the PG-13 version still has 20 uses of poo poo and an f-bomb. What a family event!

frumpsnake fucked around with this message at 07:00 on Feb 22, 2012

# ? Feb 22, 2012 06:57

A CRUNK BIRD: Sep 29, 2004

Stare-Out posted:

That's the first time Dane Cook has done something to make me laugh.
Does this still take place on Mars? I don't really care about this movie but I know the original story was on Mars, and Phobos and Deimos aren't perfectly spherical like in that poster.

P. sure there also aren't gigantic buttes and towers and, like, living beings on Mars either dude.

well I guess I could be wrong about the buttes.

A CRUNK BIRD fucked around with this message at 07:08 on Feb 22, 2012

# ? Feb 22, 2012 07:04

sub supau: Aug 28, 2007

Wait, did I wake up in a parallel universe? Dane Cook said something kind of funny? Although Dane Cook calling something else poo poo is some serious pot-kettle territory.

# ? Feb 22, 2012 07:41

Mister Chief: Jun 6, 2011

Is that movie actually any good or is the lovely poster entirely appropriate for it?

# ? Feb 22, 2012 07:43

Rough Lobster: May 27, 2009; Don't be such a squid, bro

I've always thought he was a pretty solid comedian, its just that he was pretty hyper in his performances back when he was still hugely popular.

And, like any popular thing, he had legions of unbearable fans. I know most people on the internet treat him like he's the antithesis of funny, but he's honestly not a bad comedian by any stretch.

His movies are poo poo, though, but hey.

# ? Feb 22, 2012 07:47

sub supau: Aug 28, 2007

Rough Lobster posted:

I know most people on the internet treat him like he's the antithesis of funny, but he's honestly not a bad comedian by any stretch.

I take it, then, that Vicious Circle was a bad representation of him? Because I've never been as solidly bored by a comedian as I was watching half an hour of that.

# ? Feb 22, 2012 07:58

Bloody Hedgehog: Dec 12, 2003; 💥💥🤯💥💥
Gotta nuke something

TetsuoTW posted:

I take it, then, that Vicious Circle was a bad representation of him? Because I've never been as solidly bored by a comedian as I was watching half an hour of that.

His early stuff was quite good, but yeah, by the time Vicious Circle happened he seemed to think every syllable out of his mouth was pure gold, no matter how stupid and rambling. Now that I've said that, rambling really seems to be what made Vicious Circle so bad. Each little story he tells was quick, concise, and funny in his early stuff, but later on every one of his stories or jokes gets stretched out to 15 minutes and just goes on long past when it stopped being interesting.

Kind of like how late 80's, early 90's SNL decided 15 minute sketches were great, even though they stopped being funny after the first 2 minutes.

# ? Feb 22, 2012 08:12

AlternateAccount: Apr 25, 2005; FYGM

Robert Denby posted:

To cleanse the palette, have a good poster. This is a limited edition poster for "John Carter" that'll be handed out at IMAX midnight screenings:

Welp, guess I gotta get some midnight tickets, I totally want that.

# ? Feb 22, 2012 08:53

Vince MechMahon: Jan 1, 2008

Bloody Hedgehog posted:

His early stuff was quite good, but yeah, by the time Vicious Circle happened he seemed to think every syllable out of his mouth was pure gold, no matter how stupid and rambling. Now that I've said that, rambling really seems to be what made Vicious Circle so bad. Each little story he tells was quick, concise, and funny in his early stuff, but later on every one of his stories or jokes gets stretched out to 15 minutes and just goes on long past when it stopped being interesting.

Kind of like how late 80's, early 90's SNL decided 15 minute sketches were great, even though they stopped being funny after the first 2 minutes.

I had a friend who I think summed it up best when he said something along these lines:

There are comedians like Bill Cosby who can go out on a stage and just make poo poo up, and they'll be funny. They can go out there with no real game plan, just a vague idea of what they're going to talk about, and it will usually be loving hilarious. Dane Cook is not Bill Cosby.

His earlier works, like his Comedy Central Presents special and his first couple of albums were alright, but Vicious Circle was pretty much the moment he decided that he could just start talking about whatever and people would still eat it up. That coupled with the joke stealing accusations, over exposure, and his awful frat boy fanbase are what made people turn on him.

# ? Feb 22, 2012 09:17

Bloody Hedgehog: Dec 12, 2003; 💥💥🤯💥💥
Gotta nuke something

AlternateAccount posted:

Welp, guess I gotta get some midnight tickets, I totally want that.

I could be completely wrong in this case, but most free "poster" giveaways at the movies are "posters" that measure around 12"x9". Don't go in expecting a typical poster size, let alone a one-sheet.

# ? Feb 22, 2012 10:14

Tac Dibar: Apr 7, 2009

Gonz posted:

Roland Kickinger is the guy who was the body double for Arnold in T4.

It's not surprising to see his career hasn't taken off.

Kickinger. Kickinger? KICKINGER?

...

Were Punchinger and Stranglinger already taken?

# ? Feb 22, 2012 14:30

Shanty: Nov 7, 2005; I Love Dogs

Oh precious katana posted:

Kickinger. Kickinger? KICKINGER?

...

Were Punchinger and Stranglinger already taken?

His two estranged triplet brothers, who still wear their circus strongman leotards and giant moustaches despite their brother's betrayal.

# ? Feb 22, 2012 14:57

Peanut President: Nov 5, 2008; by Athanatos

westborn posted:

How could anyone call such a bold deviation from the usual "the lone gender goes in the middle" rule of "three's company" posters generic...

Maybe Dane Cook's character is bi and they're both courting him?

# ? Feb 22, 2012 18:23

Optimist with doubt: May 16, 2010; Scoop Lover

he knows...

Maybe his next special should be him talking about movie posters.

# ? Feb 22, 2012 23:54

GonSmithe: Apr 25, 2010; Perhaps it's in the nature of television. Just waves in space.

So I was just thinking about maybe buying a The Artist poster, and I see this on the page:

Am I missing something here? This is seriously garbage and I can't tell what it has to do with the movie at all.

edit- Just looked at the cast. Looks like it's in the wrong section. Either way, what a lovely poster.

# ? Feb 23, 2012 02:29

Robert Denby: Sep 9, 2007; Denial isn't just a river in Egypt, huh? Nah, get fucked mate.

GonSmithe posted:

L'Artiste: The thrilling, provocative story of the lump of hair currently clogging your shower drain!

So "The Secret World of Arrietty" has a cool poster.

Very reminiscent of Disney's early-90s posters in terms of color and composition; lots of glossy lighting too.

I'm talking about posters like John Alvin's one for the "Pinocchio" rerelease in 1992:

This re-release poster for "The Lion King", a giant head poster done right:

And this beautiful teaser poster for "Aladdin":

Hell, just look at the laserdisc cover for "Aladdin":

Disney loved this art style in the early 90s, and I do too. They represent the films extremely well, and even the most cliched posters in the set are at least eye-pleasing. Any thoughts?

# ? Feb 23, 2012 03:34

A CRUNK BIRD: Sep 29, 2004

GonSmithe posted:

So I was just thinking about maybe buying a The Artist poster, and I see this on the page:

Am I missing something here? This is seriously garbage and I can't tell what it has to do with the movie at all.

edit- Just looked at the cast. Looks like it's in the wrong section. Either way, what a lovely poster.

I kinda like it. I haven't seen the movie but it looks kinda like sound waves hitting an abstract ear which, from what I gather about the film, seems appropriate.

# ? Feb 23, 2012 03:36

emgeejay: Dec 8, 2007

A CRUNK BIRD posted:

I kinda like it. I haven't seen the movie but it looks kinda like sound waves hitting an abstract ear which, from what I gather about the film, seems appropriate.

That's a poster for a different movie called "The Artist."

# ? Feb 23, 2012 03:44

Mister Chief: Jun 6, 2011

Hashtags are the new QR codes.

# ? Feb 23, 2012 03:48

Irish Taxi Driver: Sep 12, 2004; We're just gonna open our tool palette and... get some entities... how about some nice happy trees? We'll put them near this barn. Give that cow some shade... There.

Mister Chief posted:

Hashtags are the new QR codes.

The new "facebook.com/(moviename)"

# ? Feb 23, 2012 03:51

Young Freud: Nov 26, 2006

Irish Taxi Driver posted:

The new "facebook.com/(moviename)"

Honestly, that just tells me that the studio cared so little for the movie that they couldn't shell out the money for an actual website.

# ? Feb 23, 2012 03:53

uPen: Jan 25, 2010; Zu Rodina!

Young Freud posted:

Honestly, that just tells me that the studio cared so little for the movie that they couldn't shell out the money for an actual website.

It's more for free advertising. If people go to your website and make a comment then that one person knows about your movie. If they go to your facebook page and make a comment then every person that person knows now knows about your movie, same for twitter.

# ? Feb 23, 2012 04:44

Iacen: Mar 19, 2009; Si vis pacem, para bellum

Everytime I see the poster for THE accidental HUSBAND, I always think to myself "I didn't know that Robert Downey Jr. was in this movi- Oh."

# ? Feb 23, 2012 09:19

Hewlett: Mar 4, 2005; "DANCE! DANCE! DANCE!"

Also, drink
and watch movies.
That's fun too.

westborn posted:

[b][i]The back:

Okay, so help me out here. Fourth from the right, the alien - what movie is that? It's really bothering me that I don't know it for some reason.

# ? Feb 23, 2012 10:08

Bloody Hedgehog: Dec 12, 2003; 💥💥🤯💥💥
Gotta nuke something

Hewlett posted:

Okay, so help me out here. Fourth from the right, the alien - what movie is that? It's really bothering me that I don't know it for some reason.

Some movie called "Arthur and the Vengeance of Maltazard".

# ? Feb 23, 2012 10:40

qntm: Jun 17, 2009

Irish Taxi Driver posted:

The new "facebook.com/(moviename)"

Which is the new "AOL keyword: ______".

# ? Feb 23, 2012 10:58

boblemoche: Apr 11, 2008

Robert Denby posted:

So "The Secret World of Arrietty" has a cool poster.

Very reminiscent of Disney's early-90s posters in terms of color and composition; lots of glossy lighting too.

I like this poster a lot, but I prefer the simplicity of the original one :

The one used for the french release was the same, but with weird contrast and saturated as gently caress :

# ? Feb 23, 2012 11:30

A Doomed Purloiner: Jan 4, 2006

boblemoche posted:

The one used for the french release was the same, but with weird contrast and saturated as gently caress :

They could have gone the whole hog at least. I can still make out some of the details on those leaves.

# ? Feb 23, 2012 11:51

Dissapointed Owl: Jan 30, 2008; You wrote me a letter,
and this is how it went:

boblemoche posted:

I like this poster a lot, but I prefer the simplicity of the original one :

The one used for the french release was the same, but with weird contrast and saturated as gently caress :

It's the Predator blu-ray of posters.

# ? Feb 23, 2012 12:05