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Quarterroys
Jul 1, 2008

Hodor 5000's manhood swung lower and even heavier than usual, due to the stronger gravitational forces experienced on the planet beyond The Wall.

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nuncle jimbo
Apr 3, 2009

:pcgaming:
In the grim darkness of the far future there is only poo poo

Junkenstein
Oct 22, 2003

Greatbacon posted:

It's the scene where we see Space-Ned and Space-Howland fight the Nights-Gaurds and then we'll find out J.0n Sn0w is actually half human, half alien. Specifically of the nefarious race of Tar'Garian.

The bit where Ser Darther Dayne and his dual-bladed lightsaber gets ganged up on 2:1?

IRQ
Sep 9, 2001

SUCK A DICK, DUMBSHITS!

Junkenstein posted:

The bit where Ser Darther Dayne and his dual-bladed lightsaber gets ganged up on 2:1?

In the Gurmdark future, the only "lightsaber" battles are with space-poo poo. And then you get space-shitdick. Which is worse than regular shitdick and fantasy leprosy because its infested with midiclorians and the only cure is midichlorines.

Junkenstein
Oct 22, 2003

DARKSTAR

*Eyes of the Hawk, ears of the Wolf*

DARKSTAR

*Strength of the Bear, speed of the Puma*

Blade_of_tyshalle
Jul 12, 2009

If you think that, along the way, you're not going to fail... you're blind.

There's no one I've ever met, no matter how successful they are, who hasn't said they had their failures along the way.

rejutka posted:

Jon is John Sheridan, Dany is Jeffrey Sinclair, the Others are Shadows and R'hllor and co are Vorlons.

You're stupid. This is stupid.

Sinclair did stuff. Your analogy is flawed.

marcus is littlefinger, ivanova is sansa, delenn is cat, garibaldi is tyrion

lobotomy molo
May 7, 2007

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

IRQ posted:

In the Gurmdark future, the only "lightsaber" battles are with space-poo poo. And then you get space-shitdick. Which is worse than regular shitdick and fantasy leprosy because its infested with midiclorians and the only cure is midichlorines.

All that poo poo sounds like a job for a (space-)public works administrator. :colbert:

Urdnot Fire
Feb 13, 2012

I can only hope Tyrion Lannistron is up to the task. When he's not pursuing space-whores, of course.

whowhatwhere
Mar 15, 2010

SHINee's back

Blade_of_tyshalle posted:

You're stupid. This is stupid.

Sinclair did stuff. Your analogy is flawed.

marcus is littlefinger, ivanova is sansa, delenn is cat, garibaldi is tyrion

I'm not sure if I should be offended on Marcus's behalf or Littlefinger's.

neongrey
Feb 28, 2007

Plaguing your posts with incidental music.

Blade_of_tyshalle posted:

You're stupid. This is stupid.

Sinclair did stuff. Your analogy is flawed.

marcus is littlefinger, ivanova is sansa, delenn is cat, garibaldi is tyrion

Then who's Londo, Mr Smarty-Pants? :colbert:

IRQ
Sep 9, 2001

SUCK A DICK, DUMBSHITS!

neongrey posted:

Then who's Londo, Mr Smarty-Pants? :colbert:

Isn't there only like one black guy in ASOIAF too?

rejutka
May 28, 2004

by zen death robot

neongrey posted:

Then who's Londo, Mr Smarty-Pants? :colbert:

Londo and G'Kar are Jaime and Brienne.

IRQ
Sep 9, 2001

SUCK A DICK, DUMBSHITS!

Hey, Irish Joe, I just wanna say :hf:.

Stay Safe
Sep 1, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
Guys I'm having a dinner party disaster and I need your help

I've been chilling my neeps for over and hour and they are still not hard enough. I tried putting them in a bowl of ice, putting them in the freezer, even putting ADWD on top of them, but nothing seems to help.

Please respond quickly I need my neeps hardened, not tender!

Medieval Medic
Sep 8, 2011

Dead Man Posting posted:

Guys I'm having a dinner party disaster and I need your help

I've been chilling my neeps for over and hour and they are still not hard enough. I tried putting them in a bowl of ice, putting them in the freezer, even putting ADWD on top of them, but nothing seems to help.

Please respond quickly I need my neeps hardened, not tender!

For when is it you need them? If you can wait, winter is coming. If you can't, I am afraid my words are wind, useless as nipples on a nuncle.

The Anime Liker
Aug 8, 2009

by VideoGames

IRQ posted:

Isn't there only like one black guy in ASOIAF too?

They cut Jalabhar, made Dorhea Mediterranean-ish, and replaced Alayaya with cracker rear end Roz.

Then made the creepy pedo a black dude.

This is one white-rear end show.

Urdnot Fire
Feb 13, 2012

Make sure you eat salt and bread, Dead Man Posting.

Tony Danza Claus posted:

They cut Jalabhar, made Dorhea Mediterranean-ish, and replaced Alayaya with cracker rear end Roz.

Then made the creepy pedo a black dude.

This is one white-rear end show.
Salladhor Saan almost makes up for it, but he still wants to rape gently caress the white queen.

Thulsa Doom
Jun 20, 2011

Ezekiel 23:20

Tony Danza Claus posted:

They cut Jalabhar, made Dorhea Mediterranean-ish, and replaced Alayaya with cracker rear end Roz.

Then made the creepy pedo a black dude.

This is one white-rear end show.

Did Daxos want to marry her in the book? I can't remember it being that much of a plot point. I find it amusing that people were hailing HBO for taking a pasty pale character from the books and casting a black dude to play him (admittedly, the actor does a fantastic job) and they make the character cartoonishly evil and obsessive about marrying and possessing the whitest girl on Earth. Or Essos or something.

whowhatwhere
Mar 15, 2010

SHINee's back
Eh, outsider trying to marry into the most prestigious establishment they can is really common, and you can't do much better than a Targaryen. I do wish they had kept the marriage gift thing in, though, instead of...whatever the gently caress is going on there.

neongrey
Feb 28, 2007

Plaguing your posts with incidental music.

IRQ posted:

Isn't there only like one black guy in ASOIAF too?

Londo Mollari, you philistine.

syscall girl
Nov 7, 2009

by FactsAreUseless
Fun Shoe
Man, this is priceless.

http://jezebel.com/5912401/gently caress-marry-kill-the-men-of-game-of-thrones

whowhatwhere
Mar 15, 2010

SHINee's back
Oh Babylon 5, where the Italians actually got their poo poo together well enough to forge a glorious empire. What the hell was Straczynski thinking?
Well, I suppose "women can be lechers too!" is still feminism.

jsoh
Mar 24, 2007

O Muhammad, I seek your intercession with my Lord for the return of my eyesight

If only Jeyne didnt read Jezebel

Urdnot Fire
Feb 13, 2012

I love the entry for Robb, especially since it's just for season 2 of the show :unsmigghh:

Blade_of_tyshalle
Jul 12, 2009

If you think that, along the way, you're not going to fail... you're blind.

There's no one I've ever met, no matter how successful they are, who hasn't said they had their failures along the way.

Londo would be Dolorous Edd, obviously.

Londolorous Mollaredd posted:

When I said it was cold in my quarters, I did not mean "oh, it is a little chilly, I may put an extra blanket on the bed," no! I meant "oh look, my arm has snapped off and shattered on the floor like an icicle!"

Would Varys be Mr. Morden? They're always plotting, offering to be of help, and no one ever sees their network of allies.

nuncle jimbo
Apr 3, 2009

:pcgaming:

" Why kill? Nope. Not going to do it. Long live the King in the North."

:allears:

hailthefish
Oct 24, 2010

nuncle jimbo posted:

" Why kill? Nope. Not going to do it. Long live the King in the North."

:allears:

Marry. Always marry.

Rape Jake.
Feb 23, 2012

by T. Mascis
It's going to be an awesome troll when the Red Wedding doesn't happen.

Urdnot Fire
Feb 13, 2012

I've actually been worried that it might not happen in the show due to it not being TV enough. Killing off Ned was a good sign, but that was just the first book and it kicked off the plot for the rest of the series. I want my tears over ~Robb~, dammit.

Rurik
Mar 5, 2010

Thief
Warrior
Gladiator
Grand Prince
It would be simply cheaper for HBO to let Stannis win the battle for King's Landing, defeat Tywin together with Robb and then have Robb and Stannis either divide the realm between them or have Robb swear fealty to Stannis. Then that's that, story's done.

Dany could just die by falling off a horse or something.

Tricky Dick Nixon
Jul 26, 2010

by Nyc_Tattoo

Rurik posted:

It would be simply cheaper for HBO to let Stannis win the battle for King's Landing, defeat Tywin together with Robb and then have Robb and Stannis either divide the realm between them or have Robb swear fealty to Stannis. Then that's that, story's done.

Dany could just die by falling off a horse or something.

Considering how popular the show is, I have no doubt they would try and squeeze out as much as possible, making the GURM + HBO team-up one not designed for brevity.

Intel&Sebastian
Oct 20, 2002

colonel...
i'm trying to sneak around
but i'm dummy thicc
and the clap of my ass cheeks
keeps alerting the guards!

Namacuix posted:

Considering how popular the show is, I have no doubt they would try and squeeze out as much as possible, making the GURM + HBO team-up one not designed for brevity.

Yet another high powered media relationship that requires a personal trainer and dietician to work.

rejutka
May 28, 2004

by zen death robot

Blade_of_tyshalle posted:

Londo would be Dolorous Edd, obviously.


Would Varys be Mr. Morden? They're always plotting, offering to be of help, and no one ever sees their network of allies.

Varys could be Bester.

Quentyn is definitely Byron.

whowhatwhere
Mar 15, 2010

SHINee's back

rejutka posted:

Varys could be Bester.

Quentyn is definitely Byron.

Byron got laid, though. Quentyn's entire plotline is about how his only intimate contact with an egg-bearing creature killed him.

Blade_of_tyshalle
Jul 12, 2009

If you think that, along the way, you're not going to fail... you're blind.

There's no one I've ever met, no matter how successful they are, who hasn't said they had their failures along the way.

Neongrey and I determined that Byron is Stannis, specifically so Lyta can be Mellisandre.

neongrey
Feb 28, 2007

Plaguing your posts with incidental music.

rejutka posted:

Varys could be Bester.

Quentyn is definitely Byron.

Quentyn is also that pilot dude from season 2. Shows up out of more or less nowhere, accomplishes nothing during the brief period he's around, dies uselessly.

Also, it involves doing some re-arranging on Dany, but I present to you: Jorah Mormont is Lennier.

whowhatwhere
Mar 15, 2010

SHINee's back
Oh, his plotline is also about a Nice Guy being rejected. He travels a great distance because he thought he had scored a date, but it turns out she was never signalling interest, and she's already got a boyfriend. He insists that since he came all this way he at least deserves a handjob (Dragons in book 5 are an elaborate metaphor for femininity, you see. Stealing a dragon is like getting to one of the bases in that idiotic baseball metaphor for sex). When he tries to push the issue he gets burned so badly by her that he retreats from all contact with humanity.

Mischitary
Oct 9, 2007
Man, ADWD wasn't nearly as poo poo as people made me think it was. Some cool crap happened, man. The whole Reek/Theon and Jon stories were as good as anything ever in ASOIAF, and the poo poo chapters weren't all horrible...except maybe Tyrion, and his chapters weren't as bad while I was reading them, only now when I go back and realize how pointless it all was in the end. Dany's chapters would've been the same way, if they didn't end with Barristan the Bold kicking rear end all over the place and Dany finally riding a dragon which relieved at least a bit of those goddamn dragon blue-balls which were getting so terrible after all this time.

sentientcarbon
Aug 21, 2008

OFFLINE GAMES ARE THE FUTURE OF ONLINE GAMING

The numbers don't lie. 99.99% of every Diablo 3 player wants the game to be offline. This is a FACT.

OH SHIT IS THAT A WEBCAM? HOLY CRAP GET THAT AWAY FROM ME! (I am terrified of being spied on, because I am a very interesting person)

Tony Danza Claus posted:

They cut Jalabhar

To be fair, does that even matter? I don't remember the guy doing anything besides just kind of hanging out. It's like every couple hundred pages GURM was like 'Yep, this guy's still here too.'

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mind the walrus
Sep 22, 2006

I always liked it when he showed up. It was like GRRM was so vainly trying to proclaim "AND WE HAVE SOME RACIAL MIXING SEE I AM GEO-POLITICALLY SAVVY."

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