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Hodor 5000's manhood swung lower and even heavier than usual, due to the stronger gravitational forces experienced on the planet beyond The Wall.
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May 23, 2012 19:57
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In the grim darkness of the far future there is only poo poo
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May 23, 2012 20:02
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Greatbacon posted:It's the scene where we see Space-Ned and Space-Howland fight the Nights-Gaurds and then we'll find out J.0n Sn0w is actually half human, half alien. Specifically of the nefarious race of Tar'Garian. The bit where Ser Darther Dayne and his dual-bladed lightsaber gets ganged up on 2:1?
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May 23, 2012 20:27
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Junkenstein posted:The bit where Ser Darther Dayne and his dual-bladed lightsaber gets ganged up on 2:1? In the Gurmdark future, the only "lightsaber" battles are with space-poo poo. And then you get space-shitdick. Which is worse than regular shitdick and fantasy leprosy because its infested with midiclorians and the only cure is midichlorines.
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May 23, 2012 21:27
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DARKSTAR *Eyes of the Hawk, ears of the Wolf* DARKSTAR *Strength of the Bear, speed of the Puma*
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May 23, 2012 22:04
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rejutka posted:Jon is John Sheridan, Dany is Jeffrey Sinclair, the Others are Shadows and R'hllor and co are Vorlons. You're stupid. This is stupid. Sinclair did stuff. Your analogy is flawed. marcus is littlefinger, ivanova is sansa, delenn is cat, garibaldi is tyrion
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May 23, 2012 22:14
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IRQ posted:In the Gurmdark future, the only "lightsaber" battles are with space-poo poo. And then you get space-shitdick. Which is worse than regular shitdick and fantasy leprosy because its infested with midiclorians and the only cure is midichlorines. All that poo poo sounds like a job for a (space-)public works administrator. 
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May 23, 2012 22:39
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I can only hope Tyrion Lannistron is up to the task. When he's not pursuing space-whores, of course.
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May 23, 2012 23:02
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Blade_of_tyshalle posted:You're stupid. This is stupid. I'm not sure if I should be offended on Marcus's behalf or Littlefinger's.
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May 24, 2012 00:09
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Blade_of_tyshalle posted:You're stupid. This is stupid. Then who's Londo, Mr Smarty-Pants?
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May 24, 2012 00:38
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neongrey posted:Then who's Londo, Mr Smarty-Pants? Isn't there only like one black guy in ASOIAF too?
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May 24, 2012 00:54
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neongrey posted:Then who's Londo, Mr Smarty-Pants? Londo and G'Kar are Jaime and Brienne.
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May 24, 2012 01:02
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Hey, Irish Joe, I just wanna say  .
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May 24, 2012 01:11
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Guys I'm having a dinner party disaster and I need your help I've been chilling my neeps for over and hour and they are still not hard enough. I tried putting them in a bowl of ice, putting them in the freezer, even putting ADWD on top of them, but nothing seems to help. Please respond quickly I need my neeps hardened, not tender!
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May 24, 2012 03:00
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Dead Man Posting posted:Guys I'm having a dinner party disaster and I need your help For when is it you need them? If you can wait, winter is coming. If you can't, I am afraid my words are wind, useless as nipples on a nuncle.
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May 24, 2012 03:04
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IRQ posted:Isn't there only like one black guy in ASOIAF too? They cut Jalabhar, made Dorhea Mediterranean-ish, and replaced Alayaya with cracker rear end Roz. Then made the creepy pedo a black dude. This is one white-rear end show.
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May 24, 2012 03:07
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Make sure you eat salt and bread, Dead Man Posting.Tony Danza Claus posted:They cut Jalabhar, made Dorhea Mediterranean-ish, and replaced Alayaya with cracker rear end Roz.
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May 24, 2012 03:08
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Tony Danza Claus posted:They cut Jalabhar, made Dorhea Mediterranean-ish, and replaced Alayaya with cracker rear end Roz. Did Daxos want to marry her in the book? I can't remember it being that much of a plot point. I find it amusing that people were hailing HBO for taking a pasty pale character from the books and casting a black dude to play him (admittedly, the actor does a fantastic job) and they make the character cartoonishly evil and obsessive about marrying and possessing the whitest girl on Earth. Or Essos or something.
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May 24, 2012 03:14
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Eh, outsider trying to marry into the most prestigious establishment they can is really common, and you can't do much better than a Targaryen. I do wish they had kept the marriage gift thing in, though, instead of...whatever the gently caress is going on there.
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May 24, 2012 03:40
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IRQ posted:Isn't there only like one black guy in ASOIAF too? Londo Mollari, you philistine.
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May 24, 2012 03:43
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Man, this is priceless. http://jezebel.com/5912401/gently caress-marry-kill-the-men-of-game-of-thrones
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May 24, 2012 03:46
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Oh Babylon 5, where the Italians actually got their poo poo together well enough to forge a glorious empire. What the hell was Straczynski thinking?JustFrakkingDoIt posted:Man, this is priceless.
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May 24, 2012 03:47
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JustFrakkingDoIt posted:Man, this is priceless. If only Jeyne didnt read Jezebel
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May 24, 2012 03:51
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JustFrakkingDoIt posted:Man, this is priceless. 
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May 24, 2012 04:41
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Londo would be Dolorous Edd, obviously.Londolorous Mollaredd posted:When I said it was cold in my quarters, I did not mean "oh, it is a little chilly, I may put an extra blanket on the bed," no! I meant "oh look, my arm has snapped off and shattered on the floor like an icicle!" Would Varys be Mr. Morden? They're always plotting, offering to be of help, and no one ever sees their network of allies.
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May 24, 2012 04:51
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JustFrakkingDoIt posted:Man, this is priceless. " Why kill? Nope. Not going to do it. Long live the King in the North." 
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May 24, 2012 04:54
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nuncle jimbo posted:" Why kill? Nope. Not going to do it. Long live the King in the North." Marry. Always marry.
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May 24, 2012 05:20
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It's going to be an awesome troll when the Red Wedding doesn't happen.
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May 24, 2012 09:48
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I've actually been worried that it might not happen in the show due to it not being TV enough. Killing off Ned was a good sign, but that was just the first book and it kicked off the plot for the rest of the series. I want my tears over ~Robb~, dammit.
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May 24, 2012 10:39
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It would be simply cheaper for HBO to let Stannis win the battle for King's Landing, defeat Tywin together with Robb and then have Robb and Stannis either divide the realm between them or have Robb swear fealty to Stannis. Then that's that, story's done. Dany could just die by falling off a horse or something.
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May 24, 2012 10:43
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Rurik posted:It would be simply cheaper for HBO to let Stannis win the battle for King's Landing, defeat Tywin together with Robb and then have Robb and Stannis either divide the realm between them or have Robb swear fealty to Stannis. Then that's that, story's done. Considering how popular the show is, I have no doubt they would try and squeeze out as much as possible, making the GURM + HBO team-up one not designed for brevity.
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May 24, 2012 16:39
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Namacuix posted:Considering how popular the show is, I have no doubt they would try and squeeze out as much as possible, making the GURM + HBO team-up one not designed for brevity. Yet another high powered media relationship that requires a personal trainer and dietician to work.
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May 24, 2012 16:57
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Blade_of_tyshalle posted:Londo would be Dolorous Edd, obviously. Varys could be Bester. Quentyn is definitely Byron.
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May 24, 2012 16:59
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rejutka posted:Varys could be Bester. Byron got laid, though. Quentyn's entire plotline is about how his only intimate contact with an egg-bearing creature killed him.
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May 24, 2012 18:39
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Neongrey and I determined that Byron is Stannis, specifically so Lyta can be Mellisandre.
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May 24, 2012 18:42
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rejutka posted:Varys could be Bester. Quentyn is also that pilot dude from season 2. Shows up out of more or less nowhere, accomplishes nothing during the brief period he's around, dies uselessly. Also, it involves doing some re-arranging on Dany, but I present to you: Jorah Mormont is Lennier.
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May 24, 2012 18:51
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Oh, his plotline is also about a Nice Guy being rejected. He travels a great distance because he thought he had scored a date, but it turns out she was never signalling interest, and she's already got a boyfriend. He insists that since he came all this way he at least deserves a handjob (Dragons in book 5 are an elaborate metaphor for femininity, you see. Stealing a dragon is like getting to one of the bases in that idiotic baseball metaphor for sex). When he tries to push the issue he gets burned so badly by her that he retreats from all contact with humanity.
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May 24, 2012 18:54
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Man, ADWD wasn't nearly as poo poo as people made me think it was. Some cool crap happened, man. The whole Reek/Theon and Jon stories were as good as anything ever in ASOIAF, and the poo poo chapters weren't all horrible...except maybe Tyrion, and his chapters weren't as bad while I was reading them, only now when I go back and realize how pointless it all was in the end. Dany's chapters would've been the same way, if they didn't end with Barristan the Bold kicking rear end all over the place and Dany finally riding a dragon which relieved at least a bit of those goddamn dragon blue-balls which were getting so terrible after all this time.
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May 24, 2012 18:58
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Tony Danza Claus posted:They cut Jalabhar To be fair, does that even matter? I don't remember the guy doing anything besides just kind of hanging out. It's like every couple hundred pages GURM was like 'Yep, this guy's still here too.'
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May 24, 2012 19:19
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I always liked it when he showed up. It was like GRRM was so vainly trying to proclaim "AND WE HAVE SOME RACIAL MIXING SEE I AM GEO-POLITICALLY SAVVY."
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May 24, 2012 19:22
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