|
"Crikey, me arm! Strewth, I oughter bung a bandage on this beaut! Ah, no worries, mate." -Jaime Lannistralian, the Kingkarker G'day, new page!
|
#
?
Jun 16, 2012 03:59
|
|
|
|
| # ? Jun 6, 2024 07:41 |
|
|
rejutka posted:Blackwater is burning. Oh my god, that's what this about. The First Men took Westeros from the icy aborigines and now it's time to pay the motherfucking rent. 
|
|
#
?
Jun 16, 2012 04:09
|
|
|
The thread seems to be picking up steam, but on the other hand, I'm learning more than ever. Contra Calculus, you make for a fine tutor on the subject of all things GRRM.
|
|
#
?
Jun 16, 2012 05:01
|
|
|
The warlock in the show should have just killed the dragons. That way the story would be (slightly) more interesting. 
|
|
#
?
Jun 16, 2012 05:15
|
|
|
That would only render Dany completely pointless. It's bad enough that she's never making it across the Narrow Sea, at least her (now wild) dragons are still around somewhere.
|
|
#
?
Jun 16, 2012 05:23
|
|
|
Dany being completely pointless renders her completely pointless. It's very Zen. Seriously, if Dany were cut entirely there would be no plot holes and all of the major events would be the same. There are plenty of ways to get to the ending that don't involve her at all. She is completely superfluous.
|
|
#
?
Jun 16, 2012 05:31
|
|
|
JustFrakkingDoIt posted:Come on Cersei. Don't mind if I ---- wait, nobody went for this yet? Are we sure this is the bad thread?
|
|
#
?
Jun 16, 2012 05:40
|
|
|
I'm legitimately worried about the other two dragons. They were chained in the loving dark and attacked by idiots. I don't know how intelligent dragons are, but goddamn that would gently caress up most animals. Dany is a loving lovely Mother of Dragons, she trains them less than most people train their loving dogs. And dogs can't breathe fire. God, Dany sucks almost as much as she shits.
|
|
#
?
Jun 16, 2012 05:40
|
|
|
To be fair, how do you train dragons? She's trying to rediscover thousands of years of animal husbandry within two.
|
|
#
?
Jun 16, 2012 05:43
|
|
|
If the dragons become a threat and must be destroyed, I will be very pleased. Dany turning evil and going crazy would rock, too. Hers is not the song of ice and fire. The Targaryen fire needed to be tempered with Stark ice.
|
|
#
?
Jun 16, 2012 05:44
|
|
|
Blind Sally posted:The thread seems to be picking up steam, but on the other hand, I'm learning more than ever. Contra Calculus, you make for a fine tutor on the subject of all things GRRM. My students... they come to make their pilgrimage to this legendary lovely thread.
|
|
#
?
Jun 16, 2012 05:50
|
|
|
Ambiguatron posted:Dany being completely pointless renders her completely pointless. It's very Zen. WRONG. Jory dying and Ned getting his leg broke happened because Littlefinger wanted to keep Ned in Kings Landing. Ned was going to leave because he resigned/was fired as Hand because he refused to be a part of Robert assassinating Dany. If that didn't happen then Ned would have been safe inside when Jaime was leaving the city with all those men and he probably wouldn't have reacted so strongly to Mountain rumors if he wasn't super pissed at Jaime and standing there with a broken leg so without Dany there would be no Brotherhood Without Banners.
|
|
#
?
Jun 16, 2012 05:51
|
|
|
run DNC posted:WRONG. Catelyn had already taken Tyrion at that point. Other than Ned having a leg injury that has no bearing on the plot, everything else would be the same. She could be written out of the books entirely. Ned would have sent Beric out becauxe he's an idiot, and there'd be a Stark/Lannister war anyway; Tywin started it in response to Cat taking Tyrion. All Dany does is add pointless boring trite exoticism, weird sex scenes and making GBS threads, and help cool characters wear out their welcome with her boring bullshit. She should die and gently caress off and let Sansa be queen forever. It is known.
|
|
#
?
Jun 16, 2012 06:01
|
|
|
whowhatwhere posted:To be fair, how do you train dragons? She's trying to rediscover thousands of years of animal husbandry within two. Well, off the top of my head, when they are small enough they don't terrify the poo poo out of you, you work on voice and gesture commands. When they're big enough to eat sheep and really gently caress things up, you don't loving force them underground into a black room, chain them the gently caress up and ignore them. Mind you, I am not a little girl who knows little and less of common loving sense nor has Daario hosed me in all the ways he could gently caress me. Viserion and Rhaegal are the redneck mutant serial killers of dragons. Drogon is Jack Bauer after many seasons.
|
|
#
?
Jun 16, 2012 06:05
|
|
|
Drogon is the physical manifestation of the world being sick of Dany's poo poo.
|
|
#
?
Jun 16, 2012 06:07
|
|
|
Yet at the same time, enabling said poo poo.
|
|
#
?
Jun 16, 2012 06:11
|
|
|
rejutka posted:All Cleganes are played by Alf Stewart, sigil, a flaming galah. Ahahahahaha this rules. Their armour enameled to look like flannelette.
|
|
#
?
Jun 16, 2012 06:12
|
|
|
whowhatwhere posted:To be fair, how do you train dragons? She's trying to rediscover thousands of years of animal husbandry within two. I'm pretty sure "Don't chain them in a dark dungeon and neglect them" is a universal rule.
|
|
#
?
Jun 16, 2012 06:17
|
|
|
The maester's books of dragonlore speak of controlling the beast with blue pubic hair in one's teeth.
|
|
#
?
Jun 16, 2012 06:20
|
|
|
Maybe Dany heard someone call them "wyrms" and took that the wrong way and thought "  Worms like it where it's dark and cold and underground, right? And no kids to eat underground. Problem solved, back to blowing Bluebeard. "
|
|
#
?
Jun 16, 2012 06:22
|
|
|
Blind Sally posted:The thread seems to be picking up steam, but on the other hand, I'm learning more than ever. Contra Calculus, you make for a fine tutor on the subject of all things GRRM. The Bad Thread Paradox: the more horribly circlejerky it is, the more informative and intelligent it becomes. Yearly I make my pilgrimage to the spring of eternal shame and actually talk about books in a book barn manner. And in this time all I see is is great ignorance and 400 new posts about subtle symbolism no one cares about. But yea, as the days are longest, so too are the shitposts about cripple boners, where much and more is learned.
|
|
#
?
Jun 16, 2012 07:00
|
|
|
Ambiguatron posted:Catelyn had already taken Tyrion at that point. Other than Ned having a leg injury that has no bearing on the plot, everything else would be the same. She could be written out of the books entirely. Ned would have sent Beric out becauxe he's an idiot, and there'd be a Stark/Lannister war anyway; Tywin started it in response to Cat taking Tyrion. Actually I rethought it. Robert fled court because he was stressed about his BEST BUT FOREVER Eddard having a owie so if Ned had not been out that night (and he wouldn't have because he was only out because Littlefinger wanted to keep him in town) Robert would have heard the petition about the raiding and done nothing.
|
|
#
?
Jun 16, 2012 07:06
|
|
|
Vertigus posted:I'm pretty sure "Don't chain them in a dark dungeon and neglect them" is a universal rule. Sure, but at that point it was too late. It's the period when they're young that's the problem. Are they really just like raising dogs? We simply don't have any idea, and neither does Danyl
|
|
#
?
Jun 16, 2012 07:22
|
|
|
A GLISTENING HODOR posted:The Bad Thread Paradox: the more horribly circlejerky it is, the more informative and intelligent it becomes. So your new theory is some kind of conspiracy between loosechanj and germ not wanting goons to uncover the truth?
|
|
#
?
Jun 16, 2012 07:41
|
|
|
Ambiguatron posted:Drogon is the physical manifestation of the world being sick of Dany's poo poo. The dragons are symbolic of her Targaryen dreams - As the possibility of actually invading Westeros grows larger, so too do the dragons, and everything they represent: power, war, mayhem, the murder of innocents. Dany turns inward - locking up the dragons, rejecting Frog, exploring her sexual side, contemplating marriage... The arena is an interesting scene - She decries the pain and suffering - blaming the mereenese for their bloody ways... but the final exhibit is her own Drogon... the most barbaric of them all. When put to the test, so she seizes her Dragon/Dreams and flies away to protect it from the Mereneese. In the wilderness, she goes through a purification ritual... (making GBS threads everywhere).. and at the end of that we find she is in fact fertile again. Only now, with this purity of vision, body and willpower, can she control Drogon and again move to reclaim her empire. If GRRM lives long enough to write the next book, I have no doubt that we will see Dany burn Mereen to the bloody loving cobbles and Sail west. As an aside, normally the dragon/young girl set up would have the dragons acting as symbols of her base emotions (sex in particular). However in this case, GRRM has flipped that poo poo - we see Dany has no problem indulging her needs for rear end to mouth play, even though the dragons are caged. Ambiguatron posted:Bran shat down Hodor's back? I don't remember that scene, and I find it difficult to believe it exists because you aren't all going apeshit over it. Thought that was from a SAfic... with um hodors back hair dreaded into poo poo-locks kcroy fucked around with this message at 07:50 on Jun 16, 2012 |
|
#
?
Jun 16, 2012 07:48
|
|
|
Dead Man Posting posted:So your new theory is some kind of conspiracy between loosechanj and germ not wanting goons to uncover the truth? Every time loosechanj probates one of us the thread resembles a Sunday school class. And simple beliefs are parroted. The truth lies with the expansion of the mind. Wisdom is a fluid thing and thoughts must ebb and flow. Ideas must be set free. Clearly loosechanj is hiding something he doesn't want us to know by stifling free thought. I don't have all the evidence, but I believe loosechanj IS GRRM.
|
|
#
?
Jun 16, 2012 07:53
|
|
|
Dead Man Posting posted:So your new theory is some kind of conspiracy between loosechanj and germ not wanting goons to uncover the truth? I don't know about that. Though it's been threatened, this thread hasn't actually been closed despite our inability to "legitimately talk about the books" rather than perpetuate an inclusive circle-jerk. loosechanj is a secret Wild Cards
|
|
#
?
Jun 16, 2012 08:24
|
|
|
Ambiguatron posted:Why would wanting to kill Joffrey make her heartless? Joffrey is like the worst king ever, including the guy who burned people alive and the one who had "the cruel" appended to his name.
|
|
#
?
Jun 16, 2012 08:47
|
|
|
OTOH, perhaps Dragons simply are not readily tame-able. It sure seems nigh-impossible to discipline a beast the size of a house that vomits out medieval thermite. If the previous Targaryens/Valyrians relied on magic to keep their dragons in line, it's a little harder to blame Dany for not accomplishing it the old fashioned way.A GLISTENING HODOR posted:Every time loosechanj probates one of us the thread resembles a Sunday school class. And simple beliefs are parroted. That would certainly explain the motivations behind loosechang.jpg. lobotomy molo fucked around with this message at 10:17 on Jun 16, 2012 |
|
#
?
Jun 16, 2012 10:14
|
|
|
Rurik posted:I've brought this up before, but nobody seemed to notice back then. Anyway, I find it a bit odd how ok it is to hate Joffrey, since he's a 14-year-old kid. Yeah, he is a complete rear end in a top hat and has power which makes it possible for him to do horrible things, but that doesn't change the fact that he's a 14-year-old kid. Children aren't responsible for their actions the way adults are and I think Joffrey's regents were much more responsible for all the poo poo they let him do than what he did. Cersei especially. What a horrible You could blame Cersei for everything that is Joffrey. Even when we're told how he cut open a pregnant cat as a child, that behaviour is only reinforced when Cersei forbids Robert from ever hitting him again, and no doubt telling him how it was his right to do so in private. Cersei is a terrible loving parent, but Joffrey isn't redeemable at the point he dies. Him dying was the best for everyone and the kingdom.
|
|
#
?
Jun 16, 2012 13:47
|
|
|
Rurik posted:I've brought this up before, but nobody seemed to notice back then. Anyway, I find it a bit odd how ok it is to hate Joffrey, since he's a 14-year-old kid. Yeah, he is a complete rear end in a top hat and has power which makes it possible for him to do horrible things, but that doesn't change the fact that he's a 14-year-old kid. Children aren't responsible for their actions the way adults are and I think Joffrey's regents were much more responsible for all the poo poo they let him do than what he did. Cersei especially. What a horrible The kid tortures animals and forces people into death matches. He's clearly deeply disturbed. As a man of reason, I do look on people like that and pity them and recognize that they need treatment and care for their disease, not cruelty to satisfy some sense of vengeance. But Joffrey is a fictional character, and he hurt Sansa. 
|
|
#
?
Jun 16, 2012 14:36
|
|
|
Yeah, but Joffrey isn't someone you can send to treatment and care. There's no care facility around; besides, nobody would be able to force him into one. Sometimes you need to put a mad
|
|
#
?
Jun 16, 2012 16:01
|
|
|
Maester Qyburn's institution for the mentally impaired: treatments include burn therapy, drowing therapy, and zombie therapy. Edit: VVVV motherfucking IPhone keyboard! But yes, that is precisely what he does and it would have cured Joffrey. Contra Calculus fucked around with this message at 17:08 on Jun 16, 2012 |
|
#
?
Jun 16, 2012 16:31
|
|
|
Contra Calculus posted:drowing therapy He smears charcoal on their skin and gives them elf ears?
|
|
#
?
Jun 16, 2012 16:32
|
|
|
Ambiguatron posted:If the dragons become a threat and must be destroyed, I will be very pleased. Dany turning evil and going crazy would rock, too. Dany returns to Westeros and starts burning poo poo. Sandor Clegane has to come out of retirement, finally conquer his fear of fire, and slays Drogon, saving the kingdom from immolation. He then goes around trying to kill every singer who calls him Ser Sandor in their ballads.
|
|
#
?
Jun 16, 2012 18:30
|
|
|
That would be amazing. Sandor is the only true "knight" and is the Prince That Was Promised. His is the song of ale and buggering.
|
|
#
?
Jun 16, 2012 18:53
|
|
|
Eight thousand years hence, a confused, strife-torn kingdom barely remembers the song of Sansan the dog queen.
|
|
#
?
Jun 16, 2012 18:59
|
|
|
whowhatwhere posted:Yeah, but Joffrey isn't someone you can send to treatment and care. There's no care facility around; besides, nobody would be able to force him into one. Sometimes you need to put a mad I kind of would have liked to have seen just how loving insane Joffrey could have gotten had he lived. Then again, the moment he tried to treat Maergary like he did Sansa, Maergary would have pulled out one of her hair ornaments and stabbed the little fucker to death. 
|
|
#
?
Jun 16, 2012 19:14
|
|
|
Lolitas Alright! posted:I kind of would have liked to have seen just how loving insane Joffrey could have gotten had he lived. Then again, the moment he tried to treat Maergary like he did Sansa, Maergary would have pulled out one of her hair ornaments and stabbed the little fucker to death. Joffrey is cruel, not stupid. Loras is there to guard Margaery, not him.
|
|
#
?
Jun 16, 2012 19:16
|
|
|
|
| # ? Jun 6, 2024 07:41 |
|
|
Margaery would be more subtle, anyways, and arrange for Joff to have a fatal accident during one of his whore hunts.
|
|
#
?
Jun 16, 2012 19:16
|
|