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Bassetking
Feb 20, 2008

And it is, it is a glorious thing, to be a Basset King!

ProfessorCirno posted:

I think I've hit upon one of the core issues I have with what I've been calling the Player Entitlement method of playing roleplaying games. That is, those people who believe that because they are players they deserve all manner of special treatment from the GM and from the setting itself. My problem is that there is, in all games, a character that you don't necessarily see or realize: the setting.

The setting is as much a character as any PC, and more than that it is the GM's character. The game must make room for the setting that the GM wants and, in a way, the GM is the most important player. Without the players of the PCs, the game would stop... for a while, until new players could be found. Without the GM, the game is gone. No one can play it, because each GM is in a sense the incarnation, the game-made-flesh. They carry inside them the dream-seed that is the setting and in some cases they are walking bundles of house-rules tailored just for you.

So what is the nature of this setting-character? And why do I think the Player Entitlement people hurt it? Well, whenever you agree to be a player in a roleplaying game, you need to implicitly buy into the setting that you're playing in. If you don't buy the setting, you're wasting everyone's time, including your own. The setting itself can be anything. Maybe it's a happy-go-lucky setting, or a cinematic one, in which players can be exceptional stand-outs amongst the crowd of common men. This is the assumed setting for 3.x and 4e: I've often heard the argument leveled that because it is a fantasy game, anything should be allowed.

This is a terrible argument. Anyone who makes this argument should be ashamed of themselves. Every setting has its own internal logic and rules, and when you go into a stranger's setting it is on you to learn them not on them to change for you. This logic is known as verisimilitude, and while playing without it can be fun for a while, it is ultimately unfulfilling. It is trite, a series of inflated adventures with little logic or reason grounding them, wherein character achievement is almost null since the characters can achieve whatever they want with very little effort.

This kind of play assumes that the setting will bend to the players. gently caress you, players. If a setting has a high level of verisimilitude and is well-crafted, and your GM wants to run it, you need to bend to the setting. That setting is as much a character as whatever you create, and you need to be in tune with the kind of character that the setting portrays. Doing whatever you want, making whatever you want (against setting logic), is being inconsiderate of the crafted nature of the setting.

If you don't like it, don't play in it. Find a GM who wants to run something light where it's all about you. OSR GMs tend to (broad generalizations here, but let's go with it) value the setting at least as much as the individual PCs if not more. If you have a long-used setting that has seen multiple campaigns, then it is only natural that you will value the setting over the individual lives of PCs: they come and go, but the setting marches on. Compromising in the case of one PC is inconceivable here, since you are asking to essentially alter the setting away from its composition just for one short-lived mortal character.

Why should we change our settings for you? Maybe you should change your expectations for us. You might be surprised by how much you like it.

I'm cross-posting this from Grognards.txt; because this ridiculous screed was essentially the system I played under for about six years. I ran in a series of 3.5 campaigns under this guy, and after a while, they all started to meld into one continuous string of horrible.

I could tell you of any one of three different times the DM converted the entire party into furries.

I could tell you about how we never finished a campaign. In the course of six years, we never got to play an adventuring arc from beginning to end.

I could tell you how no campaign ever lasted more than three to six months.

I could tell you how every time we started a new campaign, we had to start at level 1, "so that your characters can evolve organically, through gameplay."

I could tell you that we "weren't allowed" to keep our character sheets. Not because he was worried we'd cheat, or change, or lose them, but because if and when he decided to write up our adventures as a novel, he'd need them for reference, and copywrite.

I could tell you how over the course of six years, I never once played an arcane caster, in 3.5, because the GM's girlfriend/fiancee/wife had a penchant for spellcasters that was only matched by her crippling lack of self-worth, and constant paranoia regarding judgement.

I could tell you about how five of the seven people at the table couldn't figure out how to build a character after six years of using the system.

I could tell you how the GM railed and ranted against the use of OOC and Metagame knowledge, and then proceeded to use the exact same set of tile-matching puzzles in each dungeon; getting angry if the group didn't spend an hour or two real-time going through the motions of re-solving the exact same puzzle that he'd put in the last dungeon. Or how every trap was of the "old school" variety.

I could tell you about how the GM refused to run a game anywhere other than his apartment, because he needed his vast library of rulebooks for inspiration and adjudication; a practice which, after college, meant that four of the seven players had an hour-and-a-half drive to get to the game.

I realize that most of this is cat-piss red-flags, and doesn't really link to that massive introductory screed, other than to show just what happens when the "DM IS GOD" mentality is given its freest reign.

I told you that laundry list, to tell you this story.

I've played in a campaign where I, and only I, was told exactly what character I was "allowed" to play.

I had a thing for rogues. In 3.5, casters were king. Since I couldn't be an arcane caster, since that would give the GM's significant other anxiety issues; I went with the next best thing. I had other reasons, too. My DM liked his evocations, and most of his fights involved casters hurling AoE damage at the party. Improved Evasion was solid. Range was good too, since that meant I could stay out of the way of both the DM's attacks, and those of my fellow party-member, the caster.

She didn't really take the whole "There are party members in that area, I should not cast fireball right now" lesson to heart. Ever. In six years. I digress.

Rogues, then, and my proclivity for playing them. Trap-finding, device disabling, knowledge skills, appraise, bluff, use magic device... Rogues were pretty top-notch in the early days of 3.5 for dealing with an adversarial DM, when you couldn't play as a caster.

Like so many campaigns before it, and after it, my DM's interest in the game we had been playing waned. He decided we'd start a new campaign. When he announced this,(and it was an "announcement", like he felt he was delivering this from on high) he looked directly at me, pointed a finger at me, and said, in front of the group, "You're going to be playing a Druid Halfling, whose highest score is Constitution, and whose dump-stat is intelligence."

I waited for anyone else at the party to be assigned a role. Apparently no one else was; and my GM wouldn't tell me the reasoning behind his decision. One of the other party members eventually got it out of him that the GM's girlfriend was tired of me "Doing all the things he does, and wasting everyone's time."

I inquired of the rest of the party, and found it was only the DM's girlfriend who had any issue with me. They were all exasperated with her using multiple real-time-hours of each session roleplaying library research, and were getting tired of the DM permitting it.

So, gaming night rolls around, and I, because I hadn't yet learned the caveat that "Bad Gaming is worse than No Gaming", went along to that night's session. With my character sheet, describing Bucket, the Halfling Druid.

Bucket was a simple soul. Since I'd been told by the DM that he'd be rolling my ability scores for me, I had a wisdom of 10, a charisma of 11, and an intelligence of 8. Bucket had his druidic glade, some simple river-stones which could be used to work wood and stone as basic crafts, a brown robe, and a hat. It was dirty, and it smelled like mulch, but it was his hat, and he cared for it quite deeply.

The GM's girlfriend played the exact same character she brought to the table every campaign. A bookish, recalcitrant, haughty, aloof, snobbish spellcaster; who mistook arrogance, insults, and their status as an arcane spellcaster as a reason everyone at the table should respect them, and defer to their judgement.

I honestly don't remember how the GM chose to start the adventure in that specific campaign. I do remember that I was frankly miserable throughout the session; with the GM's girlfriend constantly insulting my character's intelligence, wit, mental capacity... until I'd had enough.

We'd reached a puzzle door, in the ante-chamber of a dungeon, by this point. A door opened by the exact same sequence the GM always used. Tree goes to hand, Sun goes to eye, etc. We'd spent about half-an-hour real time talking out the puzzle when the GM's girlfriend said, in character, "We'd be through here already if the halfling wasn't also a half-brain."

It was about the stupidest attempt at an insult she'd made so far that evening, but I really wasn't feeling up to having any more of it. I announced to the GM that my character was stepping up to the door, and matching X to Y, so we could get on with this. The GM frowned at me, and his girlfriend said "No. You're not doing anything like that."

"I'm moving the symbols. What happens."

"I'm tackling the halfling; I don't trust his actions. I don't believe he's smart enough to have worked out the puzzle, and I think he's going to get us killed."

The DM looked torn. He usually made a great show of the "You took your hand off the chess piece" school of DMing. The whole "Primacy of actions" involved there was one of his more preferred points of expounding. He really wasn't looking to start an argument with his girlfriend, however. He asked her to roll a grapple attack, as a surprise round.

"Isn't that a contested check?" I asked.

The DM informed me that he was ruling that it wasn't; since I was pre-occupied with the door, and, with my arms raised above my head, towards the symbols, I wouldn't be in a position to oppose the roll.

She, grinning at me, announced the results of her roll, and was informed that she'd grabbed me around the waist, and now was lying on top of my sprawled form.

Which is when I did something I probably shouldn't. I should have just left the table. I should have walked away. I should have been a more level-headed person, and realized that she wasn't doing this towards me, but towards some conflated, threatening, judgmental presence she assigned to everyone she played with who was more comfortable with the mechanics of gameplay. I wish I'd been smarter, wiser, at the age of twenty.

"So, I'm sprawled flat on my back, facing her, yes?"

"Yes. She's fully grabbed and pinned you."

"I'm not contesting the pin."

"...What?"

"I'm not contesting the pin. My arms are above my head, you said, yes?"

"Yes..."

"And I'm pinned, meaning she is touching me, yes?"

"Yes, what are..."

"I'm pressing my hand over her left eye, and casting 'Produce Flame'."

The table went silent. The DM called the session, there, saying he wouldn't permit inter-party conflict or PVP to occur during one of his sessions, and lost interest in that specific campaign after the end of that evening. I went on to keep gaming with them for another four years after that happened.

There's no witty end here. No catchy denouement. I did something stupid by responding in the manner in which I did. He did something stupid by openly playing favorites at the table. She did something stupid by thinking that she could make the rest of the table like and respect her by mocking me. Nobody came out of that story looking good.

I'm still pretty convinced that if there was a greater culture of equity at the game-table, that story would have ended differently, though.

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girl dick energy
Sep 30, 2009

You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?
I can't even say that story was humorous. The concept that this was somewhere in the middle of a goddamn decade of poo poo is equal parts incredibly depressing and completely baffling. What would motivate you, or six other people to stay? For that long? To drive an hour and a half to something you clearly weren't enjoying?

Yawgmoth
Sep 10, 2003

This post is cursed!

Colon V posted:

I can't even say that story was humorous. The concept that this was somewhere in the middle of a goddamn decade of poo poo is equal parts incredibly depressing and completely baffling. What would motivate you, or six other people to stay? For that long? To drive an hour and a half to something you clearly weren't enjoying?
Battered Player Syndrome.

Thuryl
Mar 14, 2007

My postillion has been struck by lightning.
Part of it can be an identity thing, I think: if you see yourself as A Gamer, then you play games because that's what gamers do, sometimes even if you're not getting anything good out of doing so. I don't know if that was part of Bassetking's problem specifically, but I've definitely seen other people fall into that trap.

Hiro Protagonist
Oct 25, 2010

Last of the freelance hackers and
Greatest swordfighter in the world
I have a story, I don't know if it's good, or bad, but I thought it was pretty interesting. Basically, I have only really played DnD at my college, after I joined the PnP RPG club on a whim. I love it, but I have to acknowledge my group is not that good. The DM lets his friends do anything they want, and Mary Sueism is rampant. Perhaps one of the worst offenders from last campaign was my roommate, Jim. I love the man, but he always has to be the center of attention. However, there was one moment, in the first session of our second campaign, that he was pretty awesome. basically, he rolled a CE Drow assassin with multiple personality disorder, one of which was a LG cleric of Pelor. This was the personality he used for the first session, and everyone assumed he was a good guy because of this. They were probably distracted by the other crazy player, Kate, who created the most awkward character ever. Basically, she was a gnome nymphomaniac, who spent every roll trying to gently caress other characters. It was clearly getting on everyone's nerves, but she kept it up. Eventually, I see Jim go up to the DM, whisper in his ear, and they both start laughing. Kate finally gets one of the PCs characters in bed, but it's Jim's. Immediately afterwords, she gets this symbol on the back of her hand:

All the lore-knowledgeable players instantly recognize that it's the symbol of Lolth, and start cracking up, while she starts freaking out. The DM made her carry around the Avatar of Lolth in her womb for half the campaign. The best part? We didn't even know she was terrified of spiders.

Senior Scarybagels
Jan 6, 2011

nom nom
Grimey Drawer

Yawgmoth posted:

Battered Player Syndrome.

Is that a sub syndrome of Stockholm syndrome?

Adelheid
Mar 29, 2010

itotaku posted:

Is that a sub syndrome of Stockholm syndrome?

I'd assume it's a pun on battered person syndrome, but none of the stories end in the DM's actual death, so I'm not so sure.

Antinumeric
Nov 27, 2010

BoxGiraffe
BassetKing, I don't understand why in those 6 years no one ever called your GM out, was everyone in the group really that passive? It's incredible.
Why was what you did wrong however? If there was fairness at your table it wouldn't have ended like that because it would never have started at all.

Sorry if I seem needling, I just find it so amazing that that could happen for so long? Do you still play with them? Did one of you finally snap and murder the rest? Is this being posted from prison?

Section Z
Oct 1, 2008

Wait, this is the Moon.
How did I even get here?

Pillbug

Bassetking posted:

In which a GM says word for word "gently caress you, players."
How kind of them to use simple words to let us mere mortal players know how wonderful a GM they are. YEESH.

LuiCypher
Apr 24, 2010

Today I'm... amped up!

Any advice on how to prevent a campaign with evil characters from becoming chaotic stupid? I think it's ironic that after writing about how my group is trying not to kill each other that as soon as we start a new Pathfinder game, all of the players decide (I was the last to roll a character, so I fell in line to promote some sense of cooperation) to roll evil...

Doc Hawkins
Jun 15, 2010

Dashing? But I'm not even moving!


Bassetking posted:

I went on to keep gaming with them for another four years after that happened.

This is like the cat-piss story-ending equivalent of "...and I know...because I *was* that crazy killer!!"

quote:

There's no witty end here. No catchy denouement. I did something stupid by responding in the manner in which I did. He did something stupid by openly playing favorites at the table. She did something stupid by thinking that she could make the rest of the table like and respect her by mocking me. Nobody came out of that story looking good.

I'm still pretty convinced that if there was a greater culture of equity at the game-table, that story would have ended differently, though.

It was a tough time, but you sound like you're in a better place now. May you with regularity find games you like and friends to play them with.

Thuryl
Mar 14, 2007

My postillion has been struck by lightning.

LuiCypher posted:

Any advice on how to prevent a campaign with evil characters from becoming chaotic stupid? I think it's ironic that after writing about how my group is trying not to kill each other that as soon as we start a new Pathfinder game, all of the players decide (I was the last to roll a character, so I fell in line to promote some sense of cooperation) to roll evil...

Talk to them about having a clear, long-term common goal to work towards. They'll be less interested in petty backstabbery and casual murder if they've got a city to take over or a king to dethrone.

Volmarias
Dec 31, 2002

EMAIL... THE INTERNET... SEARCH ENGINES...

LuiCypher posted:

Any advice on how to prevent a campaign with evil characters from becoming chaotic stupid? I think it's ironic that after writing about how my group is trying not to kill each other that as soon as we start a new Pathfinder game, all of the players decide (I was the last to roll a character, so I fell in line to promote some sense of cooperation) to roll evil...

Evil characters are not irrational characters, just morally limited. If one of your party members is going to screw up your schemes of world domination, kill them. Darwinism is the best way to weed out the chaotic stupid here.

SpookyLizard
Feb 17, 2009

Volmarias posted:

morally limited.

Don't you mean 'morally unlimited?

Doc Hawkins
Jun 15, 2010

Dashing? But I'm not even moving!


Presumably he means they have stunted moral sensibilities.

Volmarias posted:

Evil characters are not irrational characters, just morally limited. If one of your party members is going to screw up your schemes of world domination, kill them. Darwinism is the best way to weed out the chaotic stupid here.

Alternately, talk to the players, your friends, and find out what you all want from the game? It's just crazy enough to work.

Agrikk
Oct 17, 2003

Take care with that! We have not fully ascertained its function, and the ticking is accelerating.
I am currently playing a lawful evil human mage in a campaign that isn't necessarily evil per se, just ruthless.

My character's background is that I was from a small town and when I was a kid and my latent magic started manifesting itself, the town council burned my mother as a witch and sold me into slavery thinking that they were doing the right thing by not killing a child but slavery was okay.

So I was sold a few times until I was eventually bought by a wizard who spotted my talent and trained me and ultimately freed me and turned me loose upon the world.

Now I'm traveling with a few folks who see me as a very gregarious guy, very friendly and personable. But if you cross him he'll work to kill you, your family and all of your friends.

His plan is to get really powerful, master necromancy and ride back to his village, kill half of them, animate their corpses, have those zombies kill the other half of the population, then burn the whole village to the ground and salt the fields. gently caress you, bitches.

Evil and driven, but not chaotic stupid.

tl;dr - lawful evil is the best evil

Malachite_Dragon
Mar 31, 2010

Weaving Merry Christmas magic

Agrikk posted:

tl;dr - lawful evil is the best evil

See this? This is what a lot of guys who want to be evil need to figure out. Just because you're evil doesn't mean you have to be dark, broody, NO ONE UNDERSTANDS MEEEEE emo bastard who wants to be part of the group but at the same time talks to no one and communicates nothing aaaaargh. You are not Squall. Even Squall was shittily done. No... Just because you're Evil doesn't mean you can't be a nice guy :buddy: It worked for Ted Bundy!

deedee megadoodoo
Sep 28, 2000
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I, I took the one to Flavortown, and that has made all the difference.


Years ago, in the very first vintage MTG tournament I ever played in, I had an opponent throw his deck that was filled with alpha and beta power across the room when I beat him with unpowered Gay/r (a Landstill/Fish hybrid), which at the time cost about $100 to put together (including a full set of Force of Will, which was the most expensive card in the deck). This was my first introduction to one of the "typical" MTG personalities you run into at tournaments - the entitled baby.

I also had my second experience with another type of player in that tournament - the Smug rear end in a top hat. This guy introduces himself and immediately follows it up with "I'm ranked 17th in the state :smug:".

I continued to play tournament MTG for a few years and had many similar run-ins. What is it about the MTG community that turns people into raging dicks with superiority complexes? Can't people just have fun playing the game without acting like big dumb babies?

However, there were a few really great people I met too. One of my friends went to 3 games and narrowly lost to Mark Rosewater in a SCG vintage event. The entire table was surrounded by a crowd and the whole time Mark was complimenting him on the ingenuity of his deck (which was a rogue combo that surprised most of the predominantly aggro field). In that same tournament I was playing UGr madness and one of my games was the mirror against the creator of said deck. We talked a bit about some of the changes I'd made to the list during testing and he was a really nice guy. Also Stephen Menendian was really nice and happily obliged when I asked him to turn my Memnarch into a SMemnarch.

Actually, that's all the good experiences I can think of. It's sad that I can count the number of good experiences I had during tournament play on one hand. That's definitely one of the reasons I gave up tournaments and eventually MTG altogether.

homullus
Mar 27, 2009

Agrikk posted:

I am currently playing a lawful evil human mage in a campaign that isn't necessarily evil per se, just ruthless.

My character's background is that I was from a small town and when I was a kid and my latent magic started manifesting itself, the town council burned my mother as a witch and sold me into slavery thinking that they were doing the right thing by not killing a child but slavery was okay.

So I was sold a few times until I was eventually bought by a wizard who spotted my talent and trained me and ultimately freed me and turned me loose upon the world.

Now I'm traveling with a few folks who see me as a very gregarious guy, very friendly and personable. But if you cross him he'll work to kill you, your family and all of your friends.

His plan is to get really powerful, master necromancy and ride back to his village, kill half of them, animate their corpses, have those zombies kill the other half of the population, then burn the whole village to the ground and salt the fields. gently caress you, bitches.

Evil and driven, but not chaotic stupid.

tl;dr - lawful evil is the best evil

That's nice but how is any of that Lawful, especially since your character is happy to kill people not even related to slights real or imagined?

Volmarias
Dec 31, 2002

EMAIL... THE INTERNET... SEARCH ENGINES...

Doc Hawkins posted:

Presumably he means they have stunted moral sensibilities.


Alternately, talk to the players, your friends, and find out what you all want from the game? It's just crazy enough to work.

:cry: My verisimilitude! :cry:

Eggplant Squire
Aug 14, 2003


Edit: Wrong thread!

Swags
Dec 9, 2006

homullus posted:

That's nice but how is any of that Lawful, especially since your character is happy to kill people not even related to slights real or imagined?

It doesn't have to mean that he follows man's law, just that he has a code, really. His code seems to be one of not crossing him, constant planning, and deception. He's basically Asmodeus.


The problem with evil games is that there's always some dick PC who's going to steal from everyone else, stab them to take the item they want, etc. And then blame it on them being 'evil'. I mean gently caress, man. Even Nazis had buddies. It's not like writing that little word on your sheet gives you full leeway to be a douche nozzle.

Horrible Smutbeast
Sep 2, 2011

HatfulOfHollow posted:

I continued to play tournament MTG for a few years and had many similar run-ins. What is it about the MTG community that turns people into raging dicks with superiority complexes? Can't people just have fun playing the game without acting like big dumb babies?

Try the booster pack draft tournaments that are run at local game shops. The one I go to has 2 or 3 of the champion type guys but they'll just beat you in less than 5 rounds and walk off to talk to someone else they're friends with. It also means you get $15 worth of booster cards for about $12, and first place winners here get 5 booster packs as their prize. I'm afraid to go to the nights where everyone brings their own decks since these guys bring in backpacks full of decks and I barely know how to play.

Commoners
Apr 25, 2007

Sometimes you reach a stalemate. Sometimes you get magic horses.

homullus posted:

That's nice but how is any of that Lawful, especially since your character is happy to kill people not even related to slights real or imagined?


Swags posted:

It doesn't have to mean that he follows man's law, just that he has a code, really. His code seems to be one of not crossing him, constant planning, and deception.

:siren:ALIGNMENT FIGHT:siren:

I remember beating one of my friends in MTG with his hundreds of dollars of cards and I had two goblin red starter decks crammed together. I just had a bunch of raging goblins run up and beat him to death before he could get a masterstroke combination off.

girl dick energy
Sep 30, 2009

You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

Commoners posted:

:siren:ALIGNMENT FIGHT:siren:

I remember beating one of my friends in MTG with his hundreds of dollars of cards and I had two goblin red starter decks crammed together. I just had a bunch of raging goblins run up and beat him to death before he could get a masterstroke combination off.
This story is extra funny because aggro is 'supposed' to lose to combo. I don't know what it is, but something about these 'spanner in the works' scrappy underdog stories always makes me smile. :allears:

Yawgmoth posted:

I really don't know what makes a particular area breed one type of player or the other, but it seems more a matter of location than the game itself.
I suspect it's what kinds of behavior the stores and other players tolerate. Whichever "side" start with the advantage will probably keep it, as those of the other type will quickly be filtered out, even as the player base in an area grows. Even a few :smugbert:s can slowly draw in others like themselves and elbow out all the decent people, if left to their own devices. It's like if the echo chamber effect and the Dunning-Kruger effect had a baby, and that baby was cancer.

girl dick energy fucked around with this message at 20:14 on Jun 19, 2012

Yawgmoth
Sep 10, 2003

This post is cursed!

HatfulOfHollow posted:

Years ago, in the very first vintage MTG tournament I ever played in, I had an opponent throw his deck that was filled with alpha and beta power across the room when I beat him with unpowered Gay/r (a Landstill/Fish hybrid), which at the time cost about $100 to put together (including a full set of Force of Will, which was the most expensive card in the deck). This was my first introduction to one of the "typical" MTG personalities you run into at tournaments - the entitled baby.

I also had my second experience with another type of player in that tournament - the Smug rear end in a top hat. This guy introduces himself and immediately follows it up with "I'm ranked 17th in the state :smug:".
These guys aren't really the norm at all. Or rather, these guys are either the entire group in an area, or nigh on nonexistent. I know that in some cities I've played, every single player was a :smug: rear end in a top hat; others, almost everyone was totally cool regardless of skill level. I really don't know what makes a particular area breed one type of player or the other, but it seems more a matter of location than the game itself.

SpookyLizard
Feb 17, 2009

Commoners posted:

:siren:ALIGNMENT FIGHT:siren:

I remember beating one of my friends in MTG with his hundreds of dollars of cards and I had two goblin red starter decks crammed together. I just had a bunch of raging goblins run up and beat him to death before he could get a masterstroke combination off.

Did you use Goblin Grenade?

Section Z
Oct 1, 2008

Wait, this is the Moon.
How did I even get here?

Pillbug

Agrikk posted:

tl;dr - lawful evil is the best evil
If I ever played Lawful Evil, I'd want to be this... But I'd probably end up being Petty Lawful Evil and just trying to make people as uncomfortable as possible about their Moral Values.
"Of course, fine Mayor. We shall accept this assassination job and murder the target for you swiftly."
"Whu, I just want you to kill some orcs."
"Exactly. Have your blood money ready and waiting for us please."

Best part of something like that is people would probably mistake me for a very apathetic Lawful Good or something I guess.
Arguing alignment is a waste of time, but making bold claims and not bothering to back them up can be just as fun (In character).

"Yes, we shall remove them from their desired environment. Likely causing mental trauma"
"...I just want you to get my cat out of a tree."
"Hmm, perhaps I'm trying too hard about this. Santa isn't real"
"Noooooo!"
"Mwahahahahaha! Also, here is your cat."

Section Z fucked around with this message at 22:44 on Jun 19, 2012

Axelgear
Oct 13, 2011

If I'm wrong, please don't hesitate to tell me. It happens pretty often and I will try to change my opinion if I'm presented with evidence.

Section Z posted:

"Mwahahahahaha! Also, here is your cat."

I imagine this coming out of some seven foot tall, black-iron-clad, red cloaked beast of a man, looming over a little child and holding a tiny kitten by the scruff between their enormous, gauntlet-bound fingers.

This pleases me.

Also, if we're sharing Evil Character stories, one of my favourites involves an old, old, now long forgotten 3.5 game about a world ruled by these hideous fish creatures armed with reverse scuba suits and energy weapons. I was playing a demon, another player was playing a devil. The two got along swimmingly.

I think the most impressive part involved the (accidental) destruction of Mother Maggie's Orphanarium and Discount Shoe Store, with the devil buying Mother Maggie's soul to allow her to live on and enslave more children to make terrible quality shoes. Then we started a circus.

Good times.

raminasi
Jan 25, 2005

a last drink with no ice

Malachite_Dragon posted:

See this? This is what a lot of guys who want to be evil need to figure out. Just because you're evil doesn't mean you have to be dark, broody, NO ONE UNDERSTANDS MEEEEE emo bastard who wants to be part of the group but at the same time talks to no one and communicates nothing aaaaargh. You are not Squall. Even Squall was shittily done. No... Just because you're Evil doesn't mean you can't be a nice guy :buddy: It worked for Ted Bundy!

I'm playing a serial killer in a Serenity game. None of the other characters have figured it out, including the super-honorable ex-Alliance officer ship's captain, despite our NPC reader loving telling the party that I've repeatedly killed people. It's a ton of fun and only works because when I made the character I realized that you can only make a character like that work if they have pretty loving good people skills.

I guess there's even a mini-story for this thread from her. I built the character with the Sadistic (Major) complication, which, if you've seen Firefly, is basically what Adelai Niska has. Sadistic (Minor) is "likes hurting people in fights," while Sadistic (Major) is "likes elaborately torturing people to death for fun." The complication actually says in its text "this primarily exists for NPCs, and the GM probably shouldn't let you take it." But I decided I wanted the challenge and talked the GM into it (everyone in the group had known each other for awhile, so it wasn't weird.) All the other players knew I had some kind of sadism thing going on, but didn't know what I was going to do with it. All they really knew was that my character was extremely charismatic, cosmopolitan, and gorgeous.

During our first session, in the middle of the night, I had her wander away from everyone for a bit into a less...well-policed area of the city.
GM: "Okay, GrumpyDoctor, you've managed to find a block without any real foot traffic but some people sleeping in alleys and the like. What are you doing?"
Me: I'm murdering a hobo.
Everyone else: :stare:

Playing an evil character can work great.

Section Z
Oct 1, 2008

Wait, this is the Moon.
How did I even get here?

Pillbug

Axelgear posted:

I think the most impressive part involved the (accidental) destruction of Mother Maggie's Orphanarium and Discount Shoe Store, with the devil buying Mother Maggie's soul to allow her to live on and enslave more children to make terrible quality shoes. Then we started a circus.

Good times.
Did the orphans have to work overtime to make clown shoes?

Mezzanon
Sep 16, 2003

Pillbug

GrumpyDoctor posted:

All they really knew was that my character was extremely charismatic, cosmopolitan, and gorgeous.

During our first session, in the middle of the night, I had her wander away from everyone for a bit into a less...well-policed area of the city.
GM: "Okay, GrumpyDoctor, you've managed to find a block without any real foot traffic but some people sleeping in alleys and the like. What are you doing?"
Me: I'm murdering a hobo.
Everyone else: :stare:

Playing an evil character can work great.

Ah the ol' Patrick Bateman.

Edit: Found the script for homeless man scene:

quote:

The financial district. The streets are eerily deserted.

Bateman stands at an ATM, enjoying the reassuring sound of
$500 in fresh bills thudding from the machine. As he turns
to leave, he notices someone across the street.

A HOMELESS MAN is lying in a doorway on top of an open
grate, surrounded by bags of garbage and a shopping cart. A
cardboard sign is attached to the front of the cart: I AM
HOMELESS AND HUNGRY PLEASE HELP ME. A small, thin dog lies
next to him.

He is black, dressed in a stained, torn, lime-green
polyester pants suit with jeans worn over the pants.

BATEMAN
(Offering his hand) Hello. Pat Bateman.

The Homeless Man stares at Bateman, struggling to sit up.

BATEMAN
You want some money?. Some...food?

The Homeless Man nods and starts to cry. Bateman reaches
into his pocket and pulls out a $20 bill, then changes his
mind and holds out a $5 instead.

BATEMAN
Is this what you need?

The Homeless Man nods, looks away, wipes his nose.

HOMELESS MAN
I'm so hungry.

BATEMAN
It's cold out, too, isn't it?

HOMELESS MAN
I'm so hungry.

BATEMAN
(Holding the bill just out of the man's reach)
Why don't you get a job? If you're so hungry, why don't you
get a job?

HOMELESS MAN
(Shivering and sobbing)
I lost my job...

BATEMAN
Why? Were you drinking? Is that why you lost it?
Insider trading? Just joking. No, really-were you drinking on
the job?

HOMELESS MAN I was fired. I was laid off.

BATEMAN
Gee, uh, that's too bad.

HOMELESS MAN
I'm so hungry.

The dog starts to whimper.

BATEMAN
Why don't you get another one? Why don't , you get another job?

HOMELESS MAN
I'm not...

BATEMAN
You're not what? Qualified for anything else?

HOMELESS MAN
I'm hungry

BATEMAN
I know that, I know that. Jeez, you're like a broken record.
I'm trying to help you.

HOMELESS MAN
I'm hungry.

BATEMAN
Listen, do you think it's fair to take money from people who
do have jobs? From people who do work?

HOMELESS MAN
What am I gonna do?

BATEMAN
Listen, what's your name?

HOMELESS MAN
Al.

BATEMAN
Speak up. Come on.

HOMELESS MAN
Al.

BATEMAN
Get a goddamn job, Al. You've got a negative attitude.
That's what's stopping you. You've got to get your act together.
I'll help you.

HOMELESS MAN
You re so kind, mister. You're kind. You're a kind
man. I can tell.

BATEMAN
(Petting the dog)
Shhhh...it's okay.

HOMELESS MAN
(Grabbing Bateman's wrist)
Please...I don know what to do. I'm so cold.

BATEMAN
(Stroking his face, whispering)
Do ,you know how bad you smell? The stench, my God.

HOMELESS MAN
I can't...I can't find a shelter

BATEMAN
You reek. You reek of...poo poo. Do you know that?
(Shouting)
Goddammit, Al-look at me and stop crying like some kind of
human being. Al...I'm sorry.

Bateman carefully puts the money back in his wallet.

BATEMAN
It's just that...I don't know I don't have anything in common
with you.

He opens his briefcase and pulls out a long thin knife with
a serrated edge. He pushes up the sleeve of his jacket to
protect it.

BATEMAN
Do you know what a loving loser ,you are?

HOMELESS MAN'S POV as Bateman lunges at him with the knife.

EXTREME WIDE SHOT of the street. Bateman's shadowed figure
is hunched over the Homeless Man, stabbing him in the stomach.
The dog barks wildly and Bateman stomps on it until it is
silent.

LOW ANGLE shot of Bateman as he throws a quarter on the ground.

BATEMAN
There's a quarter. Go buy some gum.

Bateman walks calmly into the empty caverns of Wall Street.
Cars drift past, their headlights momentarily illuminating the
body left twitching on the ground

Double edit: Try reading the book for inspiration for your character. It's loving horrifying.

Mezzanon fucked around with this message at 02:10 on Jun 20, 2012

Axelgear
Oct 13, 2011

If I'm wrong, please don't hesitate to tell me. It happens pretty often and I will try to change my opinion if I'm presented with evidence.

Section Z posted:

Did the orphans have to work overtime to make clown shoes?

In hindsight, I'm actually rather sad I never asked that.

GrumpyDoctor posted:

Me: I'm murdering a hobo.
Everyone else: :stare:

Moments like that are rather fun; where the group realizes just to what lengths you are willing to go, or just what sort of monster they're dealing with. It's especially beneficial if you've been incredibly helpful to the group as a whole and to accomplishing its goals.

NinjaDebugger
Apr 22, 2008


GrumpyDoctor posted:

During our first session, in the middle of the night, I had her wander away from everyone for a bit into a less...well-policed area of the city.
GM: "Okay, GrumpyDoctor, you've managed to find a block without any real foot traffic but some people sleeping in alleys and the like. What are you doing?"
Me: I'm murdering a hobo.
Everyone else: :stare:

I am pretty sure this is not what "murderhobos" means. :staredog:

Section Z
Oct 1, 2008

Wait, this is the Moon.
How did I even get here?

Pillbug

Axelgear posted:

Moments like that are rather fun; where the group realizes just to what lengths you are willing to go, or just what sort of monster they're dealing with. It's especially beneficial if you've been incredibly helpful to the group as a whole and to accomplishing its goals.
Yeah, awkwardness can be one of the great joys of being the Helpful Evil PC.

"He donated a kidney to me when I needed one."
"He saved me from that elaborate death trap with the beavers that had dynamite strapped to their tails."
"He picked up my drycleaning for me."

"Hey guys? Anyone else want some of this? It's great!"

"...Where the hell did he even get a baby seal to eat in the first place?"

Now, if only I could get around to playing something like this.

raminasi
Jan 25, 2005

a last drink with no ice

Axelgear posted:

Moments like that are rather fun; where the group realizes just to what lengths you are willing to go, or just what sort of monster they're dealing with. It's especially beneficial if you've been incredibly helpful to the group as a whole and to accomplishing its goals.

Oh yeah, I've made extra sure to make myself indispensable. More than once the group has come up with some elaborate plan to do something only to have my character go off on her own and persuade/seduce/(murder) her way to accomplishing the objective all by herself. (Honestly, it's kind of lame that the GM lets me get away with it as much as he does, but he's been getting better.)

I mentioned the reader precog we had earlier. She had a pretty hosed-up childhood. Naturally, I'm terrified she's going to out me one of these days, so she stays in my cabin and I help her "meditate" and "focus her talents," all towards the goal of completely loving up her sense of morality so that if the crew tries to get information out of her about what I'm up to she won't be able to give them any useful information. The one time she did tell them that I've killed people I managed to convince everyone it was in self-defense so I'm probably good for a little bit. (I was proud of that - I didn't even use any dice rolls. I actually managed to spin a story for the other players that they had to admit their characters would buy at face value.)

Doc Hawkins
Jun 15, 2010

Dashing? But I'm not even moving!


Section Z posted:

Yeah, awkwardness can be one of the great joys of being the Helpful Evil PC.

"He donated a kidney to me when I needed one."
"He saved me from that elaborate death trap with the beavers that had dynamite strapped to their tails."
"He picked up my drycleaning for me."

"Hey guys? Anyone else want some of this? It's great!"

"...Where the hell did he even get a baby seal to eat in the first place?"

Quirk is fun, but Alignment is dumb.

Section Z
Oct 1, 2008

Wait, this is the Moon.
How did I even get here?

Pillbug

Doc Hawkins posted:

Quirk is fun, but Alignment is dumb.
I won't argue that enforced alignment or similar labels as justification for how you act/how you treat someone with said alignment are not dumb.

Is it okay to attempt to be a parody of alignment results though? Or is this just walking down a dark path that leads to brain damage for all involved?

LitBolt
Sep 27, 2007
A tumbler of whiskey, please. And a revolver with a single bullet.

Doc Hawkins posted:

Quirk is fun, but Alignment is dumb.

Alignment is Quirk.

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Josef bugman
Nov 17, 2011

Pictured: Poster prepares to celebrate Holy Communion (probablY)

This avatar made possible by a gift from the Religionthread Posters Relief Fund

LitBolt posted:

Alignment is Quirk.

Not when its used for casting spells it isn't. There is no rule that says "must have a fine appreciation for pottery" amongst the things required to cast "unending pot storm". Or "must believe in happiness as the highest good" in order to cast "Bigby's brilliant joke".

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