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Wow, congrats man, that is super awesome. Kick rear end! 
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Apr 20, 2012 01:51
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Golden Bee posted:Just got selected to do a paid rewrite! Can't say much, but it'll be a pass on dialogue (and maybe seeding a few plot points). That's amazing news. Congrats! -------- Big wall of  incomingGentleman Raccoon posted:Sorry it's taken me so long to get back to this- finals have been a bitch. It's no problem. I was checking in to make sure I didn't drive you away or discourage you from moving forward (which wasn't my goal at all) You should never have to worry about using proper formatting or description with a partner. The best thing about collaborating with somebody else is seeing the way they interpret your words. You can describe the characters and location and it Using correct formatting is also a good habit to get into. When something comes to me and I long-hand scribble out a page or two, that's a barebones frame of an idea, I still try to use proper formatting even if all of the details aren't there. Gentleman Raccoon posted:I'm working on this project with a single animator, so in order to fit any plot in, it will have to be a great deal of dialogue. I consciously made the decision to set up a scene, and have the characters pretty much standing in one place, and still progress the story. I don't know how you are planning to animate it (is it going to be fully animated or more of an animated graphic novel type thing without the speech bubbles or...) but my suggestion would be less filler and more meat. You can always add more banter and more backstory to fill up the space lost from clearing the dead brush. 5 minutes is blip to establish the characters/world. You can't afford to waste time with nothing. Look at this bit of your dialogue I used as an example quote:RACCOON That's filler at its finest. Not only is it awkward and unrealistic sounding but you are repeating yourself and reusing the same vocabulary. "You bartered with liquor. How did that work? - I knew it'd work. People love liquor." See what I mean? Now look at mine. quote:RACCOON Raccoon doesn't parrot what we just saw take place. Badger doesn't parrot back what Raccoon just said. And yet, the idea/feeling you were trying to convey still comes through (I would actually argue it comes through better since there isn't so much white noise around it) If you are worried about putting too much stress on your animator, be creative with how much the characters move about and what to include in the pilot. I don't have the script in front of me (so I'm going from memory and it can be faulty) but instead of having them walk away from the store while talking; have them sitting outside the shop checking out their sweet new swords while talking -> establishing shot of the mall -> them standing at the balcony. The whole flash forward 20 years thing (that seems like it would the most difficult/time-consuming thing to animate) may be better off for a future episode. That hole could give you some space to establish/flesh out things in the pilot. Gentleman Raccoon posted:Well poo poo. I haven't seen that movie in a while, I guess I'll have to have another watch. The first zombie encounter was actually supposed to be completely different, but my partner suggested the scene as it is now. I guess I'll have to keep up on zombie films to avoid this in the future. I understand how they could make that mistake because that's another problem I struggle with. I take in so much stuff that I'll internalize the good ideas, forget the source and every once in a while think of something that'll make me go "hey, that's a great original idea" but nope, it isn't. It's a powerful picture that stuck with me or a mishmash of ideas from various poo poo I seen or heard. I have to be careful about that. If you want my idea on how to fix that scene, it's... (And don't feel like you have to use this, this was just what I thought of while reading your script. Take it as an example of how you can keep certain parts of what you have while completely changing other parts [although I realize that this might be difficult/impossible if your partner is already animating]) ...Maybe have the dialog from when they were walking outside take place at the bar. (Is it a dance club? because I was picturing dance club.) They go back onto the dance floor. Some dude (zombie) tries to "dance" with Raccoon, everybody's laughing at the absurd thing taking place, Badger realizes that it isn't a joke/his friend's in danger, Raccoon's about to get bitten and BAM! That's when the sword slices the head in half. Everybody freaks out (like a group of normal people would in that situation), Raccoon's stunned at what happened before slipping into "what the gently caress did you do" and Badger is obvious to it all as he celebrates doing such a cool thing (the thing he wanted to do since he got the swords and the thing Raccoon talked him out of doing at the mall) Still kind of derivative of Shaun Of The Dead but hopefully the sudden violence and aftermath would cover that up to most. It would also be a jumping point for your dialog after the killing and you could tweak the roadblock situation into them thinking that it's for them. That's more room for dialogue and potential humor (since the guard would have no idea what they are talking about) The reason I why I thought of that was because, when I read it, I imagined Badger as a fat goon who's overly confident even though he shouldn't be and Raccoon as a lanky goon who's more in touch with reality but still Badger's sidekick due to a lack of confidence. But I could be completely wrong about that whole thing. All the more reason to describe everything or at least include a page with character summaries before hand!
Call Me Charlie fucked around with this message at 05:04 on Apr 20, 2012 |
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Apr 20, 2012 04:59
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In case anyone was wondering or maybe not, my script that I am working on without any outline is coming along well. I have a few scenes that I'm still working on/need to fix because they aren't working out or are too long. But other than that, it's working very well. Also, I stumbled on to this article debating about the two methods. It seems that a lot of screen writers do this method more often than we think. http://www.bluecatscreenplay.com/articles/how-to-start-a-screenplay-treatment-or-free-fall/
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Apr 21, 2012 16:09
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I started my second screenplay today and already have a question. The beginning is going to be a montage of sorts with various news footage. Kind of like the credit sequence of Dawn Of The Dead 2004 without the music (probably a bad example but the only one I can think of). How would I approach formatting that? Can I continue moving forward with what I already have FADE IN: MONTAGE *various description/dialog* END MONTAGE or is there a better way I'm not seeing? Call Me Charlie fucked around with this message at 19:35 on Apr 23, 2012 |
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Apr 23, 2012 19:32
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That's perfectly valid.
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Apr 23, 2012 21:16
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This is pretty cool. Warner announced a new ebook series called Inside The Script. First four releases are An American In Paris, Ben Hur, Casablanca and North By Northwest. http://www.wbshop.com/jump.do?itemID=5&itemType=LANDING&cid=insidethescript quote:Every Inside the Script includes: ----- Golden Bee posted:That's perfectly valid. Thanks. ----- For anybody writing without an outline, I highly recommend stopping and pounding one out. It has been so much easier with one and, with the story already all plotted out, I get to put that energy towards my characters and dialogue.
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May 1, 2012 03:20
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A question about the "one page equals one minute" guideline. Does this hold true for 20-minute animated sitcoms as well? I'm not sure if I should shoot for twenty pages per episode or more. I know it was mentioned on the last page that it doesn't always hold true, but I'd hate to have my scripts come up too short or have to chop scenes to make it fit the time slot.
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May 10, 2012 08:01
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As Nero Danced posted:A question about the "one page equals one minute" guideline. Does this hold true for 20-minute animated sitcoms as well? I'm not sure if I should shoot for twenty pages per episode or more. I know it was mentioned on the last page that it doesn't always hold true, but I'd hate to have my scripts come up too short or have to chop scenes to make it fit the time slot. Well, it works out to 21-22 minutes usually, so I'd say aim for 25-26 minutes. And while the 1 page = 1 minute thing isn't always accurate, its an industry standard for a reason. So aim for 25 pages, and then you've got room to cut down if necessary.
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May 10, 2012 10:42
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I asked this in the other "little questions" thread but I'll ask it here, too. I'm writing a movie that has to do a little bit with a strained father/son relationship. Does anyone know of any movies with this theme? Good or bad, doesn't matter.
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May 10, 2012 14:59
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As Nero Danced posted:A question about the "one page equals one minute" guideline. Does this hold true for 20-minute animated sitcoms as well? I'm not sure if I should shoot for twenty pages per episode or more. I know it was mentioned on the last page that it doesn't always hold true, but I'd hate to have my scripts come up too short or have to chop scenes to make it fit the time slot. I've only read the unproduced Mission Hill scripts and those range from 21-24 pages. peepoogenderparts posted:I asked this in the other "little questions" thread but I'll ask it here, too. Off the top of my head (done this is all I can think of) Big Fish There Will Be Blood Barry Lyndon (I don't think this really counts) Dirty Work (technically stepfather/stepson but) Shaun Of The Dead Paris, Texas Bigger Than Life Hot Rod Freddy Got Fingered Call Me Charlie fucked around with this message at 15:21 on May 10, 2012 |
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May 10, 2012 15:03
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Thanks man. That's a good start. I know there is a Tom Hanks/Jackie Gleason movie that I have in my Netflix queue as well.
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May 10, 2012 15:13
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We Bought a Zoo has a good chunk devoted to it as well if you can handle Cameron Crowe's sentimental tendencies.
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May 10, 2012 15:48
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As Nero Danced posted:A question about the "one page equals one minute" guideline. Does this hold true for 20-minute animated sitcoms as well? I'm not sure if I should shoot for twenty pages per episode or more. I know it was mentioned on the last page that it doesn't always hold true, but I'd hate to have my scripts come up too short or have to chop scenes to make it fit the time slot. I took a script writing for animation class back at the Art Institute. lovely school, so take with a grain of salt. The answer I got was "it depends." Writers for animation tend to put in a whole lot of description for the action that's going on screen. Smaller animation studios have people wearing multiple hats, so you're not relying on what the location scout has found, what wardrobe has done, etc etc. The writer tends to put all of that into the script to make the labor intensive animation process as smooth as possible. If you don't throw in all the extras, then you should fall within the 1 page = 1 minute rule. Just thought I'd through out why you might get different answers.
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May 10, 2012 15:56
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As Nero Danced posted:A question about the "one page equals one minute" guideline. Does this hold true for 20-minute animated sitcoms as well? I'm not sure if I should shoot for twenty pages per episode or more. I know it was mentioned on the last page that it doesn't always hold true, but I'd hate to have my scripts come up too short or have to chop scenes to make it fit the time slot. You can download the scripts for the first five seasons of South Park. They're pretty much all 30-35 pages. There's lots of fiddly, little details that need to be included so that the animators can do their thing. They don't have the luxury of just telling their background actors to do this or that thing on the fly, as a director would on a live-action set, for example. Audio is recorded and edited first, then the visuals are synced to that. Something fast-paced with lots of characters and weird critters and props like Robot Chicken or South Park could easily have 35-40 pages for a 20-minute episode. Something like, errrr, Undergrads is probably 1:1. Not many background characters. The main characters and settings are pretty much static. e: I tried to write cartoony things with my knowledge of screenwriting, once. I was told very nicely by a producer to  and read a book or two on writing for animation.
Great Horny Toads! fucked around with this message at 21:45 on May 10, 2012 |
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May 10, 2012 16:32
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I'm working on my first feature, and so far I'm off to a rough start. I think this idea is a diamond, but I feel like the writing isn't stepping up to the plate. It's not terrible, but I just don't think it's quite "there" yet. Obviously there will be LOTS of drafts, but is this feeling of "meh" normal? It's seriously bumming me out. Digi_Kraken fucked around with this message at 18:06 on May 12, 2012 |
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May 12, 2012 17:58
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Are you drafted out? Do you like every story beat? Do you know why your story is fun or exciting at a character by character level?
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May 12, 2012 18:15
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Griff M. posted:I'm working on my first feature, and so far I'm off to a rough start. For me, I'd say yeah. Writing a feature is a fight. It's a never-ending stream of negative thoughts. Is this good enough? Is this interesting enough? Is this dragging on? Will I be able to keep this under 120 pages? Am I marginalizing scenes now? Will I be able to get this over 90 pages? This isn't working but I bet this brand new idea will...let me scrap everything and start over! The key is to ignore all of that. The first draft should be to just get the poo poo on paper. Almost everything can be fixed in later drafts. And like everybody says, some distance after you finish a draft will help you tremendously. When you come back, you should be bursting with new ideas on how to make it better.
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May 12, 2012 19:10
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DivisionPost posted:We Bought a Zoo has a good chunk devoted to it as well if you can handle Cameron Crowe's sentimental tendencies. Warrior and Quiz Show have some great father-son fuckery. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ggahVsREztM (spoilers of course) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3TL4oF69Yd8 (again spoilers) Two of the best father/son scenes on film.
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May 12, 2012 22:30
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T-Bone posted:Warrior and Quiz Show have some great father-son fuckery. Oh, God, how could I forget Warrior? What a fantastic movie! I've had this idea in the back of my head for a while, and it's got me curious. Say I wanted to write a sort of musical, akin to The Commitments; how would I transition into or script the musical/performance aspects of the story? Do I have to script the lyrics as dialogue (I'd be using non-original songs, but I'm not quite planning to put this one up for sale anyway)? Anything I should know about that?
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May 12, 2012 22:40
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A lot of Spielberg movies have strained father/son relationships as well. Walken/DiCaprio in Catch Me If You Can is a really well done one: (spoilers) Catch Me If You Can: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sm0VI3Nej-Y
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May 12, 2012 23:29
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John August had an article on lyrics as screenplay. If they're said by characters, italics.
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May 13, 2012 00:53
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Griff M. posted:I'm working on my first feature, and so far I'm off to a rough start. I recognize that feeling, too. Every step I take I'm unsatisfied with it and just can't seem to do my wonderful, profound idea justice. Either some of the beats are just not as good as the others, or some character can't manage to be as much part of the story as the others, and in the end some stupid line or cut I can't seem to get on paper properly. The way I see it, it's a constant bummer and in the end I can never be as excited as I was before I started writing. It's only when I end up in deeper discussions about the script with directors and producers that I usually start understanding that 95 percent of the stuff I wanted to be in there, actually is. When you're done writing, go back to the notes you had describing the diamond idea you had. It's usually a lot less profound than the script you ended up with. But then again, that might just be me, I'm a notorious perfectionist. (Hi, thread!)
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May 13, 2012 07:50
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It's been awhile since anybody posted. How's everybody's work coming along? I'm about 75 pages into the first draft of my second feature screenplay and the end is rushing up on me. It's going to be rough to get it over the 90 page mark, plus I have a monologue I have to knock out the park and an ending I'm afraid doesn't have the punch needed. But that's what a second draft is for, right? I'm actually kind of happy that I'm noticing flaws and areas I have to patch up before finishing. That should mean less downtime in between drafts.
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Jun 8, 2012 20:34
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I'm plotting, re-plotting and re-re-plotting my graduation script for my film school. I can't let myself start writing scenes until I've mapped everything out or things'll go all over the place. I've got to focus on the technical side first or else I'll be unable to filter good from bad ideas. All in all it's going reasonably well, but I'm not really good at it and probably never will be. Not an excuse to quit doing it, though, but it's kind of depression I always have to go through this phase of doing something I can't do to do something I'm good at.
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Jun 8, 2012 21:14
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Just caught up on the entire thread, and it's pretty fascinating to see all the critique going on. My two screenwriting classes so far have not been very intense in that regard. Or in any regard, really. I've got a script I just finished the first draft of (13 pages, I'd like to get it down under ten), and I was wondering if anyone is interested in taking a look at it. I tried to do things a little differently than I normally do, and I'd like the perspective of someone I don't know and haven't talked their ear off about things in it I'm not confident about. I was actually kinda nervous about asking for critique from you guys, but I think that means I need it more than I'd like to admit.
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Jun 12, 2012 22:31
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What's your log?
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Jun 12, 2012 22:44
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After graduating high school, a young man takes his three best friends on an ill-fated but wacky camping trip, hoping to ensure the group stays close even when they move away for college. It's a comedy, should that come through better in the log? I was never all that good with logs. vvv Good call, thanks! CaptainViolence fucked around with this message at 22:57 on Jun 12, 2012 |
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Jun 12, 2012 22:53
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An ill-fated but wacky camping trip. 
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Jun 12, 2012 22:55
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So after years of doing the "write a screenplay, hate it midway through, abandon it and play video games" crap, I'm finally starting to settle down and just loving write. Washing down an adderall with an iced coffee just gets me into a zone where I write and write and write. Generally, I spend a couple weeks formulating the story in my head, and write a loose summary in word. Then, I load up movie magic screenwriter and just write until it's finished or I pass out. The plan, in my head, is to develop a portfolio so when I do eventually seek an agent, I can go "hey, I've got 5-6 screenplays to sell!" instead of "I have written the next Citizen Kane it is the greatest in the world and I demand a million dollars for it". I'm trying to write marketable, fun, popcorn type movies: my strength has always been comedy, and no offense to people who write "A man returns home to find his family all hates him" type of screenplays, but that's just not my style. I've got a pedigree - graduated from USC film school in 2009 (took a whole bunch of screenwriting classes, but didn't get into their screenwriting program), spent a year behind the desk of a producer (who didn't actually produce any new films during the entire year, but I got to get coffee for celebrities!) and my networking is basically a bunch of 20-something nobodies like myself: PAs, bloggers, my friends and all but nobody who is going to hook me up with a job anytime soon. Honestly, and I may lose all my artistic credibility here - I just wanna sell something. Don't even care if it gets made, just dreaming of the pure bless of successfully pitching a screenplay and having a producer cut me a five-figure check so I can live more comfortably and really start to take this seriously. So okay, just finished a dark comedy that originated with an idea I had for an internet video - what if Edward Cullen from Twilight was an ugly neckbeard, virgin high school loser instead of a hunk? In seemingly every vampire story out there - True Blood, Vampire Diaries, Twilight, Dark Shadows, Buffy, Interview With a Vampire, Fright Night - the overwhelming similarity is that every vampire is a male model. I still have the hot male model vampire - need to keep that female audience you know - but he's the "best friend", not the protagonist. Anyway, if it interest you and ya wanna read and critique it, leave your email and I'll shoot you a copy. Make sure to tell me what format you want it in also.
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Jun 13, 2012 08:14
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I decided that it was in my best interest that I went back and restarted my script from square one. The idea had changed a lot since I started to write it, but luckily I wasn't too deep into the story, thankfully, but it had to be done and I like this story a lot better than the one I was working on.
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Jun 19, 2012 02:22
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I finished the first draft of my Aqua Teen Hunger Force spec today!   Any ATHF fans here that would like to gimme notes? I'd really appreciate it!
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Jun 19, 2012 19:28
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screenwritersblues posted:I decided that it was in my best interest that I went back and restarted my script from square one. The idea had changed a lot since I started to write it, but luckily I wasn't too deep into the story, thankfully, but it had to be done and I like this story a lot better than the one I was working on. I'm begging you, just try plotting out your story once. It makes the writing process so much easier. Griff M. posted:I finished the first draft of my Aqua Teen Hunger Force spec today! I haven't watched it in a long time but send it on over, buddy
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Jun 19, 2012 21:24
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screenwritersblues posted:I decided that it was in my best interest that I went back and restarted my script from square one. The idea had changed a lot since I started to write it, but luckily I wasn't too deep into the story, thankfully, but it had to be done and I like this story a lot better than the one I was working on. You'll run into that problem a lot if you don't plan in advance. Just open a second word document, name it "GOOD IDEAS" and put everything not remotely interesting for your story's structure in there. That way you won't run into trouble halfway.
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Jun 19, 2012 22:35
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Sporadic posted:I'm begging you, just try plotting out your story once. It makes the writing process so much easier. Otcho posted:You'll run into that problem a lot if you don't plan in advance. Just open a second word document, name it "GOOD IDEAS" and put everything not remotely interesting for your story's structure in there. That way you won't run into trouble halfway. I have been planning it out in advanced for a while now, but something with the current draft isn't working. My original idea has changed so much from when I first though of it, that I have to restart it. Like I said, I wasn't too deep into it, just about 21 pages in the actual script and sixteen scenes planned out in long hand, so it's not too late to go back and restart it. I just can't see this current script working out the way it is now.
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Jun 20, 2012 17:51
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screenwritersblues posted:I have been planning it out in advanced for a while now, but something with the current draft isn't working. My original idea has changed so much from when I first though of it, that I have to restart it. Like I said, I wasn't too deep into it, just about 21 pages in the actual script and sixteen scenes planned out in long hand, so it's not too late to go back and restart it. I just can't see this current script working out the way it is now. That's what I mean. If you really plot your script out beat by beat, you should be able to see and eliminate issues like that before any writing takes place. I spent about two weeks plotting out my script and it has made the writing process so much easier on myself. Gives me the freedom to be loose when better ideas come up on the fly and gives me a structure to stick to when I get lost. It also allows me to focus on fleshing out my characters and dialogue instead of worrying about the story. Call Me Charlie fucked around with this message at 18:18 on Jun 20, 2012 |
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Jun 20, 2012 18:14
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The second draft is done! Hell to the yes.
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Jun 22, 2012 18:23
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Is 90 pages an acceptable length for a screenplay? Because I'm on 87 now and I think three pages is about all I have left in the tank.
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Jun 27, 2012 02:43
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That would be fine. You'll always flesh out during a redraft.
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Jun 27, 2012 03:34
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Golden Bee posted:That would be fine. You'll always flesh out during a redraft. I don't think I am. There are things that need to be fixed but I made this one lean and mean. I'm having trouble thinking of additional scenes that wouldn't be filler.
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Jun 27, 2012 04:29
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Sporadic posted:Is 90 pages an acceptable length for a screenplay? Because I'm on 87 now and I think three pages is about all I have left in the tank. 90 pages is just fine. Assuming the script is great, being 90 pages is not going to be a problem at all for anyone. Shorter is very in fashion.
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Jun 27, 2012 07:35
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