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298298 posted:Jesus Christ it still took hours just reading chapter summaries to finish AFFC/ADWD. I would've been pissed if I'd went ahead reading the books.  , bitch  I would recommend reading the Reek chapter where Roose Bolton monologues at him, because it's possibly the best thing GRRM's ever written in the series. And the wheels came off this one due to publisher pressure on GRRM resulting in him cutting all the poo poo going down at Winterfell and in Meereen. Yes, that was stupid. But now you know why we exist! ELEVEN. loving. YEARS. Also I'd forgotten to publish it, but I wrote up a justification for the Joffrey assassination plan: Things go wrong all the time. Sansa not showing up or not wearing the hairnet was highly unlikely because Dontos told her that wearing them was crucial to her escaping that night. The hairnet had a ton of "amethysts" which were actually the Strangler. One or two falling off wouldn't be a problem (barring the amethysts falling into someone's soup or something). The benefit of that really roundabout method of delivery was that it would be nearly impossible to pin the blame on the Tyrells, whether or not it succeeded. That's a pretty big plus.
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Jun 22, 2012 04:15
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Yeah I read the Reek chapters just because I'd heard so much about them, plus Asha. gently caress all the rest of it.
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Jun 22, 2012 04:22
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Read the Victarion chapters (in ADWD) to complete the Greyjoy family trifecta, as they're actually entertaining.
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Jun 22, 2012 04:24
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A GLISTENING HODOR posted:Irrefutable fact: Fixed that for you. edit: Actually, now that I think about it, this just describes George and anyone like George.
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Jun 22, 2012 04:53
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298298 posted:Yeah I read the Reek chapters just because I'd heard so much about them, plus Asha. So what's your verdict on the series, in the end? Which one is the best of the novels? Etc.
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Jun 22, 2012 05:01
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The proper way to wear a fedora is to masturbate to pictures of 1940s men in fedoras, INTO your fedora, then wear your soiled fedora and proceed to masturbate to the things in that list. While drinking gin. Bonus points if paired with an unwashed ponytail.
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Jun 22, 2012 05:05
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What about masturbating to this thread? This is important.
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Jun 22, 2012 05:14
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I have to read this thread when I'm having sex, or I simply cannot climax.
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Jun 22, 2012 05:17
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Usually masturbating or sex isn't even necessary when I read this thread. Especially when there's a mention of Darkstar or my daarling ~~~~*~* daario~*~~*~*
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Jun 22, 2012 05:24
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Is it infeasible for all the fluff of AFFC/ADWD to be edited out? Or would we be left with a brochure?
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Jun 22, 2012 05:32
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Blade_of_tyshalle posted:I have to read this thread when I'm having sex, or I simply cannot climax. I need to have ASOIAF sex scenes read by Gilbert Gottfried or I can't even get it up. (Everyone's probably seen it, but if they haven't...you're welcome) e: It's probably possible with a pretty vicious editor. You'd get about a GoT-sized book out of it, I'd think. But I'd still rather have some of the fluff, like Roose talking about Ramsay's conception.
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Jun 22, 2012 05:34
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298298 posted:Jesus Christ it still took hours just reading chapter summaries to finish AFFC/ADWD. I would've been pissed if I'd went ahead reading the books. Pretty sure someone said in an interview that one of the major things that was planned to happen in ADWD was pushed to the next book due to issues with length. I think most people agree it is probably Stannis's seige on Winterfell. If the book had been edited down and that part had been put in, I think it would have made it significantly better.
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Jun 22, 2012 06:28
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The Mutato posted:Is it infeasible for all the fluff of AFFC/ADWD to be edited out? Or would we be left with a brochure? It would make the books worse if they edited the fluff out.
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Jun 22, 2012 06:43
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whowhatwhere posted:So what's your verdict on the series, in the end? Which one is the best of the novels? Etc. ACOK > GOT > ASOS were great and with some editing probably could've made it into a trilogy. By the time I was in the middle of ASOS I was already tired of having 4-5 characters roaming around aimlessly but still ended up enjoying it overall, but then starting AFFC with motherfucking Brienne roaming around I just couldn't go any further. I don't think it could be unintentional that he managed to choose the least interesting character of the series (Brienne) to wander around searching for the second least interesting character (Sansa) and then decide hey I should throw in the THIRD least interesting character (Pod). It had to be intentional, something this terrible doesn't just happen naturally.
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Jun 22, 2012 06:44
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Sansa is the most interesting characters in the series. Dany is the least interesting. Brienne's chapters drag in places, but are drat good in others. There would be less complaining if we didn't know where Sansa was while Brienne was looking for her, and the pointless poo poo about Crabby Dick was cut out. Also, it was cool to finally see what kind of a dick Randyl Tarly really is. A huge one. A huge dick.
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Jun 22, 2012 06:49
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Hey now, don't rag on the Pod  And Brienne's not that bad, she's just another Ned, and it's unfortunate that she got saddled with such a boring storyline.I seriously don't get how Dany's not in your bottom 3.
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Jun 22, 2012 06:50
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298298 posted:I don't think it could be unintentional that he managed to choose the least interesting character of the series (Brienne) to wander around searching for the second least interesting character (Sansa) and then decide hey I should throw in the THIRD least interesting character (Pod). It had to be intentional, something this terrible doesn't just happen naturally. gently caress you, ser. I mean, my lady.
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Jun 22, 2012 06:55
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Dany didn't start feeling boring until the last two books to me though, wherever she was before that had Jorah and he made her more interesting by proximity. Can't hold the last two books against anyone really, he even managed to make Tyrion boring. I'm still reading, but after finishing the first 3 books in a week I think I'm just going to go a chapter a day while crying in the shower.
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Jun 22, 2012 06:57
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298298 posted:Jesus Christ it still took hours just reading chapter summaries to finish AFFC/ADWD. I would've been pissed if I'd went ahead reading the books. If you just read the summaries, you missed the best part. Namely, Cersei launching her two-pronged invasion of the Myrish Swamp.
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Jun 22, 2012 08:06
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And more importantly, licking up sticky princes  And the Fat Pink Mast.
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Jun 22, 2012 08:11
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So I haven't read this thread since I finished ADWD, but when is the next book coming out? Surely GRRM must have said something, it's been a whole year 
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Jun 22, 2012 08:54
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Never. P. S.: Last update about it in his not a blog was in May. More importantly, apparently Iain Glen will be making an audiobook version of "Dying of the Light", The GRRM's first foray into the novelist world. Any gurmy content in this one? The number of awkward boners people would achieve thanks to Mr. Glen's beautiful voice and GRRM's prose would be something to behold.
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Jun 22, 2012 09:34
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whowhatwhere posted:Nobody said gin. We're all vodka-drinkers here. Absolut Fucker.
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Jun 22, 2012 09:40
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The Unnamed One posted:P. S.: Last update about it in his not a blog was in May. More importantly, apparently Iain Glen will be making an audiobook version of "Dying of the Light", The GRRM's first foray into the novelist world. Any gurmy content in this one? The number of awkward boners people would achieve thanks to Mr. Glen's beautiful voice and GRRM's prose would be something to behold. 
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Jun 22, 2012 09:44
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IRQ posted:I don't own a single hat, thank you. And if I did, it wouldn't be a loving fedora. The mental image of you in any hat whatsoever is hilarious. I can't stop giggling. Junkenstein posted:Absolut Fucker. Bravo. Contra Calculus posted:Fixed that for you. But George doesn't even wear a fedora. He has one of those old man golf hat things. I read this thread backwards.
my cat is norris fucked around with this message at 13:05 on Jun 22, 2012 |
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Jun 22, 2012 13:02
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whowhatwhere posted:I need to have ASOIAF sex scenes read by Gilbert Gottfried or I can't even get it up.  I NEED AN ADULT!
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Jun 22, 2012 13:45
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The Unnamed One posted:Never. Once, not long after finishing ASOS and beginning the torturous wait for AFFC, I found a copy of The Dying of the Light in a used book store for 50 cents. I bought it because I wanted to read something else that GRRM had written. I opened it when I got home and realized that at some point in its history, this little paperback had been signed by the GRRM. The book itself was awful; it was about some space dude that went to a planet so some other dude could brag about the fact that he was loving his ex-wife or something. I put it down about 100 pages in, and even with the autograph, felt that I had overpaid.
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Jun 22, 2012 13:47
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euroboy posted:So I haven't read this thread since I finished ADWD, but when is the next book coming out? Surely GRRM must have said something, it's been a whole year Remember when GRRM used to take two years at a time to publish a book in his beloved series? Yeah, not happening anymore. 1996 1998 2000 2005 2011 So, going by this pattern, you can expect more Dany making GBS threads and Tyrion whining in exactly... edit: holy poo poo, I was five years old when this series was spawned. George, what does it tell you when I'm now about to get my undergrad degree and your story has barely gone anywhere from the time I was still in my last years of elementary school? I was ten years old when the twin towers went down and nine when Robb Stark was killed. Goddamn. Contra Calculus fucked around with this message at 15:26 on Jun 22, 2012 |
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Jun 22, 2012 15:22
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GRRM is a true patriot and couldn't go on writing books after 9/11. His plaque-coated heart just wasn't in it anymore. 
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Jun 22, 2012 15:29
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And the last two are half books so expect even longer that that.
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Jun 22, 2012 15:30
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whowhatwhere posted:I need to have ASOIAF sex scenes read by Gilbert Gottfried or I can't even get it up. Thanks to that, I have the sound of Gilbert Gottfried's voice saying "clitoris" burned into my brain forever. That being said, I would still literally pay the man money to read the 
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Jun 22, 2012 16:13
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2 years to write ASoS, 11 years to write the (not quite) complete ADwD.
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Jun 22, 2012 16:24
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I just realized they could easily make future HBO GoT seasons just cover like 1/2 a book or less rather than a full one. Jesus, GRRM is really going to die before he finishes the next book....
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Jun 22, 2012 17:44
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p.crestmont posted:I just realized they could easily make future HBO GoT seasons just cover like 1/2 a book or less rather than a full one. Nah, HBO are just going to start making poo poo up from season 5 onward. I truly believe GRRM is just planing on having HBO finish the series for him.
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Jun 22, 2012 17:47
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Someone go loving run GRRM down with a van, then. It got King to poo poo out the rest of Dark Tower, after all.
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Jun 22, 2012 17:49
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Entire seasons will focus on Ros loving various commoners who expound upon how the war affects them.
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Jun 22, 2012 17:50
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The origin story of crabby dick
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Jun 22, 2012 17:54
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El Hefe posted:Nah, HBO are just going to start making poo poo up from season 5 onward. I truly believe GRRM is just planing on having HBO finish the series for him. When this came up earlier, it was pointed out that he has a contract with Bantam that would likely prohibit him from admitting this publicly. I think it's true, though. He apparently told them how it ends.
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Jun 22, 2012 17:55
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Urdnot Fire posted:Entire seasons will focus on Ros loving various commoners who expound upon how the war affects them. That's the inevitable spinoff series I think. But what will it be titled? Ambiguatron posted:When this came up earlier, it was pointed out that he has a contract with Bantam that would likely prohibit him from admitting this publicly. I think it's true, though. He apparently told them how it ends.  At least from what I hear Season 2 is already not following the book so much so maybe there will still be a few surprises when the co-author finishes (writes) the book in 2023
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Jun 22, 2012 18:12
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savinhill posted:I drink Hennessy because I listened to too much rap growing up. So I just realized Damphair is Damp + Hair and now I'm really loving angry for some reason.
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Jun 22, 2012 18:19
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