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Ambiguatron posted:You can't eat dessert for breakfast... gently caress it, yes you can.
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# ? Jul 10, 2012 05:32 |
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# ? Jun 6, 2024 06:12 |
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If I have to type "break fast" one more god drat time, I'm going to kill myself.
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# ? Jul 10, 2012 05:40 |
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Current outline for Chapter 8: Ardi and Genden are swordfighting. Lots of references to how long and thick Genden's sword is and how skillfully he uses it. Ardi is very impressed and gets flustered, especially when Genden keeps beating her, getting all close and rubbing together and poo poo. The sword is a metaphor for Genden's penis. Ardi beats Genden in one round and they stop. Genden is super, super sweaty cause its really hot outside or something. So he strips off his shirt. I rewrite the HBO Gendry topless scene shot for shot. Ardi guides Genden down to castle tunnels or something cause she wants to sex him. Instead, they overhear Magistrate Illyrin and Varos the Fly. Illyrin is svelte, all of his weight instead in the giant bulge in his tight leather trousers. I glaze over all of Varos' description except for how long and slender his fingers are and how he keeps curling them in come-hither gestures. Something about a raid and Elders????? I'm debating whether I should actually ask what these two things are and keep it consistent or just make up whatever I want.
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# ? Jul 10, 2012 05:47 |
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Please write a Joycey fartlover character so you can break fast and break wind at the same time.
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# ? Jul 10, 2012 05:47 |
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1stGear posted:Ardi and Genden are swordfighting. Lots of references to how long and thick Genden's sword is and how skillfully he uses it. Ardi is very impressed and gets flustered, especially when Genden keeps beating her, getting all close and rubbing together and poo poo. The sword is a metaphor for Genden's penis. Please include "the sword is a metaphor for my penis" in there.
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# ? Jul 10, 2012 05:54 |
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whowhatwhere posted:Please include "the sword is a metaphor for my penis" in there. Then it won't be a metaphor, it'll be a simile and similes are for hacks. Also, Ardi and Genden are 18. This is terrible and GRRMy enough without adding pedophilia.
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# ? Jul 10, 2012 06:01 |
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Okay, should I save the lemoncakes for cuddling as a cutesy thing or do some weird sex poo poo where the Pound is eating Lemoncakes while Sensa gives him the lady's kiss? It's one in the loving morning, what am I doing?
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# ? Jul 10, 2012 06:11 |
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Ambiguatron posted:It's one in the loving morning, what am I doing? God's work.
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# ? Jul 10, 2012 06:16 |
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1stGear posted:Then it won't be a metaphor, it'll be a simile and similes are for hacks. I'm pretty sure the workaround is that they're not having sex but just making out? But yeah, prolly a smart idea.
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# ? Jul 10, 2012 06:32 |
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Everybody's 18, except Kate. She just has the body of an 18 year old despite delivering quadruplets.
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# ? Jul 10, 2012 06:34 |
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Ambiguatron posted:Okay, should I save the lemoncakes for cuddling as a cutesy thing or do some weird sex poo poo where the Pound is eating Lemoncakes while Sensa gives him the lady's kiss? whowhatwhere posted:I'm pretty sure the workaround is that they're not having sex but just making out? But yeah, prolly a smart idea.
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# ? Jul 10, 2012 06:38 |
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Sensa squealed with delight and practically snatched one from the tray, stuffing it halfway into her mouth. She blushed deeply when she realized what she’d done, she bit off her mouthful of sugary pastry and gulped it down, then demurely set the rest on her tray. The Pound coughed into his fist. “My Lord,” she said, picking the crumbs from her cheek, “Would you care to break fast with me?” “My lady, I am weary from the yard. I doubt I would make good company for your meal.” He turned to go. “My lord, please,” said Sensa. “There is so much, and I would not see it go to waste. You must be hungry.” The Pound scowled. “My lady, it would not be proper. I am still arrayed for battle, and…” he trailed off. “I could help you with that.” An uncomfortable silence fell over the small room. “I am hungry,” he said. Sensa leapt to her feet. She moved behind him, resting her arms on his heavy shoulders to untie his cloak. He had to stoop slightly for her to reach, even though she was tall for a woman. The Pound was a giant among men, overmatched only by his enormous brother. Sensa made the task easier by leaning on his back. He smelled of oil and sweat. “My lady?” Sensa gasped and shook herself from him, and his cloak pooled at the floor around his feet. He drew a chair from her table and sat down, and it groaned under his weight. She moved quickly, pulling on her riding gloves to protect her tender skin from his ringmail. As he leaned forward, she undid the clasp at the nape of his neck and pulled on the heavy sleeves, until the armor hit the floor with a heavy slap. Freed of it, he was able to remove his leathers himself, all of it piled on the floor. He was left in a loose rough spun shirt, hanging heavy with sweat. Sheila poked her head in the door. “My lady? My lord?” The Pound gestured at his armor. “Find another and see this to my squire.” Sheila nodded and scurried off. Another maid joined her and together they struggled with the weight of his armor. It was said it took three squires to fit Sir Sendor in his full plate, such was its weight. A normal man would struggle with lifting his breastplate alone. Even seated, he was nearly of a height with her. “My lord, please, eat.” The courtesies dealt with, the Pound ate hungrily, lifting a whole loaf of honey bread to tear a chunk loose with his teeth. When he swallowed he caught her watching him and his scar went white, tugging on his lip. “I apologize if I offend your courtesies, my late. Even a mock battle fills men with many appetites.” “No, my lord, I-“ His jaw tightened. “I see that my scar offends you. I should leave you to eat in peace.” He started to rise, and she jumped to her feet. “No!” She traced the wound down his cheek with her finger, running from his left eye to his jaw. It was a fearsome blow, and would have robbed him of his eye had he not turned his head. Though few spoke of it, everyone knew the story, the subject of a hundred bawdy songs sung in taverns. The Pound had taken a blow meant to end his master’s life, and suffer disfigurement for it. “Did you kill the man who did this to you?” “Yes.” “He deserved it.” “For robbing me of my beauty,” the Pound snarled, pulling away from her. “For hurting you,” said Sensa, clutching her hands. “I did not mean to offend my lord-“ “I am no one’s lord.” Quickly, Sensa moved to the door. She pulled it and bolted it. She turned and pressed her back to the door. “I would not have you leave just yet.” The Pound watched her in silence, his eyes following her as she moved to the edge of her bed and sat down. Her troublesome robe slipped open again, and she failed to close it, but folded her arms about herself and hunched her shoulders instead. “I’m frightened.” Sendor’s hand clasped at his missing sword. “By what?” “Not by what, but who. I must marry the crown prince soon, and-“ “Has he hurt you?” “No! It’s not that, I… I fear that I fear…” “You fear that you fear?” She blushed furiously, and bit her lip. She hated herself for stumbling over her words, but there was a wry amusement in Sendor’s smile. He shook his head, and a lock of his hair fell free, heavy with sweat, and covered his scar. Were she near him she would have brushed it away. She leaned back, and spread her hands over the bed. “The marriage bed,” she said. The Pound nodded, a sudden understanding evident in his face. “You’ve heard stories, no doubt.” “Pain and blood,” Sensa whispered. “Even if my lord is gentle.” “I would not know.” Sensa blinked in surprise. The Pound was only a year her senior, but a mighty warrior, and she had heard tales of the lusts of men when battle stirred their blood. The Pound was one of the first over the walls of the rebellious king Beylon when her father broke the rebellion of the Steel Islanders. “You have never lain with a virgin,” she said. “I have never lain with anyone,” said the Pound, and she could see in his face that he regretted the words before they escaped his lips. “I am speaking out of turn,” he said quickly, “I should be on my way, I have to attend to my-“ She was on her feet before she knew it. Her robe spread, and she knew she was exposed under the sheer fabric. She felt a tightening in her stomach, somewhere between fear and hunger. The Pound stood stone still, fighting to keep his eyes locked on her face. He finally gave in, as she let the robe drop from her shoulders and curl around her feet. “My Lady…” She touched her finger to his lips, and he gasped, and then, almost involuntarily, kissed it. She shuddered, cold despite the heat and hot in spite of that, and pressed herself to him. She stood on her toes, and still her eyes were not level with his. He looked over her head, his eyes vacant. “My Lady, please, my oaths,” “The elder bugger your oaths,” she breathed. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7TrZFxhrPUI --- I think I need to take a shower. From shame. I feel dirty.
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# ? Jul 10, 2012 06:58 |
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^ drat yours is better than mine. Though I haven't really gotten to the meaty part, just you wait... Little non-proofread excerpt from my Bren chapter. I wrote in some backstory, hopefully it doesn't gently caress anyone's poo poo up. quote:He wondered whether his father would be proud of him. Sir Hogor used to always tell Brendon and the other little lordlings tales of the great Lord Nathyn Strike’s famed prowess in combat. Brandon’s favourite story was the great battle of the Pitchfork, where Nathyn had ridden alongside his lifelong friend soon-to-be King Roger Bartholomew, to defeat the treacherous son of the evil Wyvern Emperor. The singers across the land sung of Roger’s great stronghammer ending the three-century old age of oppression in one thunderous stroke to the Young Wyvern’s matte black breastplate, sending shards of opals showering the mud of the riverbanks in the twilight, but Hogor knew the real truth of it. If Nathyn had not suddenly turned his steed and ridden to join Roger’s charge, slaying three of the crown’s infamous Scaleguard protectors, Roger’s headstrongness would have surely meant his death. But Nathyn was humble as he was gallant, Hogor said, so let the new King accept the glory for the triumph. The Mutato fucked around with this message at 08:10 on Jul 10, 2012 |
# ? Jul 10, 2012 08:07 |
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I'd love to contribute, but I really can't write anything outside of poo poo-dick fiction. Maybe I can write a fan fic of YOUR fan fic that changes the names slightly and has more rape and Yiffing I mean warging? Actually, maybe my Prance of Ponies cover art is an appropriate repost herez.
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# ? Jul 10, 2012 10:48 |
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I'm currently supposed to be busy taking finals but I'll write chapter 10 if and when I get the chance. I'm already not regretting it.
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# ? Jul 10, 2012 11:46 |
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Ambiguatron posted:I think I need to take a shower. From shame. I feel dirty. Yall are going to make millions. Of tears.
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# ? Jul 10, 2012 12:32 |
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Urdnot Fire posted:But don't reveal it until like Brendan's second-to-last chapter. His last chapter will be him overcoming it and loving Miri anyways. Holy poo poo this is amazing. Anyone writing Miri before the last chapter needs to throw some hints in there that Brendan won't pick up on. Everything that's been posted so far is awesomely terrible. I salute your sick minds. We'll make billions of dollars yet. Also, the list of who's writing what has been updated. If I missed you, let me know.
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# ? Jul 10, 2012 13:26 |
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Urdnot Fire posted:But don't reveal it until like Brendan's second-to-last chapter. His last chapter will be him overcoming it and loving Miri anyways. The Wizard sees something in Brendan indeed. Is there a timeframe for this? I wouldn't mind taking Chapter 5, but have photoshoots for the next couple of evenings and not much time til Thursday.
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# ? Jul 10, 2012 13:55 |
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Starting 19 Kate [sex] or rather Kate, Darksun and Orion in "Not Without My Anus."
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# ? Jul 10, 2012 14:29 |
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I'll take chapter three, hopefully I can help set up the plot so the sexing can get underway fast and furiously.
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# ? Jul 10, 2012 15:47 |
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JustFrakkingDoIt posted:
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# ? Jul 10, 2012 16:00 |
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oh god why is there an eye in that vagina what lovecraftian madness is this gently caress you bad thread I wanted to sleep tonight
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# ? Jul 10, 2012 16:07 |
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A GLISTENING HODOR posted:Starting 19 Kate [sex] "You have my sword." "And my rear end!"
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# ? Jul 10, 2012 18:27 |
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Dibs on Chapter 2! DIBS!
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# ? Jul 10, 2012 18:48 |
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This is disturbing.
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# ? Jul 10, 2012 19:38 |
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thornghost posted:Holy poo poo this is amazing. Anyone writing Miri before the last chapter needs to throw some hints in there that Brendan won't pick up on.
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# ? Jul 10, 2012 21:38 |
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Urdnot Fire posted:Brendan could feel his manhood glisten as he gazed lustily at Miri, and he began to wonder if she had ever seen another man glisten. Surely not, he told himself. She's not that kind of woman at all, I'm sure of it. But thanks to the admittedly still-blurry power of insight he'd been learning from the Wizard, he suspected his ladylove had witnessed much glistening indeed. Bren can smell something is a little bit off with Miri while he is in wolf form. Something familiar...
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# ? Jul 10, 2012 22:00 |
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Oddly, crossdressing seems to be the only thing Martin hasn't done anything overtly creepy with, even though there's been multiple instances of it in the books.p.crestmont posted:Bren can smell something is a little bit off with Miri while he is in wolf form. Something familiar... Something wonderful.
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# ? Jul 10, 2012 22:00 |
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Someone update me with what's going on with the whole writing chapters thing and let me know so I can update the OP.
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# ? Jul 10, 2012 22:15 |
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Dead Man Posting posted:Someone update me with what's going on with the whole writing chapters thing and let me know so I can update the OP. thornghost posted:Alright Wildcards, here's the chapter breakdown. Call your chapters and I'll update this post with who calls what. Ambiguatron posted:For maximum hilarity, every chapter should be written in a completely unique style and deliberately crafted not to fit together with the others.
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# ? Jul 10, 2012 22:25 |
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What the hell happened to Tyrion/Bron/Shane sex scene drat it! EDIT: gently caress it give me the one where Sir Pound teaches Sansa about the human food table fetish. Undead Unicorn fucked around with this message at 22:47 on Jul 10, 2012 |
# ? Jul 10, 2012 22:30 |
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From the Awkward & Ugly thread, I humbly present Gurm.jpg: I hope the shameful glisten it gives you helps you to write as GRRM does (not).
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# ? Jul 10, 2012 23:26 |
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Well there's just nothing at all right about that.
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# ? Jul 10, 2012 23:33 |
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lemoncakeparty.jpg
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# ? Jul 10, 2012 23:51 |
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I believe you mean "pearshapedman.jpg". Let me show you my things.
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# ? Jul 10, 2012 23:56 |
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Someone add cheez doodle dust to the fingers.
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# ? Jul 11, 2012 02:12 |
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just bought a gurmhat y'all
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# ? Jul 11, 2012 02:29 |
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In It For The Tank posted:
Add a disembodied grrmhead leering from the background
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# ? Jul 11, 2012 02:40 |
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Stop posting the picture of the underage girl getting molested by not-gurm
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# ? Jul 11, 2012 02:47 |
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# ? Jun 6, 2024 06:12 |
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IRQ posted:Stop posting the picture of the underage girl getting molested by not-gurm Much like the (underaged) squirrels outside my office window they are married.
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# ? Jul 11, 2012 02:50 |