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Reminds me of Obama's Hillbilly Half-Brother Threatening To Derail Campaign
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Sep 7, 2012 01:03
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Segmentation Fault posted:Obama's 19-Year-Old Son Makes Rare Appearance At DNC This reads like some of the articles that ran about Obama and his dad during the last election cycle. Lots of "life is hard, but he has a good heart" stuff. On one hand it could be the Onion bringing that image back to remind us of the positive image he projected in 08 tempered with the negative image many hold now. On the the other hand, they could just be loving with people.
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Sep 7, 2012 01:42
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Unemployed Man Who Had To Move Back In With His Parents Still For Obama Guantánamo Prisoners Released Into Cheering DNC Crowd The Onion is nothing if not fair and balanced.
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Sep 7, 2012 01:50
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I read this while Biden spoke (he's still speaking) http://www.theonion.com/articles/biden-says-life-better-than-it-was-4-years-ago-but,29477 I hear him talking about the auto industry, and I hope to hear a crack about a "sweet Trans Am"
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Sep 7, 2012 02:47
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Anything written by Herbert Kornfeld, Accounts Receivable Supervisor.quote:those who gently caress wit' the H-Dog get they sorry asses BEAT DOWN http://www.theonion.com/articles/westwing-techsupport-crew-be-a-buncha-wack-bitches,16370/ for one-liners: Want boxes of poo poo in your house? Get a cat. and of course "Frustrated Obama sends nation rambling 75,000 word email" http://www.theonion.com/articles/frustrated-obama-sends-nation-rambling-75000word-e,18516/ gently caress, I forgot "Zumtrel Flooby" from the Bush administration days. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xhTCuPHuIZ4 Vote Republican has a new favorite as of 03:49 on Sep 7, 2012 |
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Sep 7, 2012 03:30
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Obama: 'Help Us Destroy Jesus And Start A New Age Of Liberal Darkness' "'My fellow Americans and godless infidels, I command you to join me as we cast an endless pall of far-left evil across the hills and valleys of our nation!' Obama bellowed from the stage, as thousands in attendance moaned in compliance and gyrated their hips and groins in a lascivious dance." Literally Unbelievable is going to explode.
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Sep 7, 2012 03:35
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utada posted:Obama: 'Help Us Destroy Jesus And Start A New Age Of Liberal Darkness' The onion barely has to work anymore... jesus. This is so sad and funny. Reminds me of this gem. Dept. Of Evil: 'All Of You Must Die' http://www.theonion.com/articles/dept-of-evil-all-of-you-must-die,2200/
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Sep 7, 2012 04:04
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Vote Republican posted:The onion barely has to work anymore... jesus. This is so sad and funny.
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Sep 7, 2012 04:22
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SpiderHyphenMan posted:Please tell me that your username is ironic and that what makes this article sad is that it is only a slight exaggeration of what the GOP tries to make people Obama is. Have you seen this ad? It gets special after the Chuck's wife starts talking. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/09/04/chuck-norris-obama-reelection-1000-years-of-darkness-mitt-romney_n_1854309.html and yes my username is ironic
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Sep 7, 2012 05:36
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I love the Onion's version of Biden Biden Says Life Better Than It Was 4 Years Ago But Nothing Can Touch Summer Of '87' The Onion posted:“Things are definitely better today than back in ’08, but is this the summer of ’87? Not a loving chance,” said Biden, reminiscing about his “prime seed-spreading days,” when he was a carefree 44-year-old senator cruising the Delaware boardwalks in acid-washed Jordache jeans and his pink Sonny Crockett blazer. “Oh, man, that summer was one hell of a ride. I’d take off the T-tops, pack a cooler full of happy juice, and drive down the strip blasting G N’ R.”
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Sep 7, 2012 09:34
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What Is Your Amateur Porn Telling Employers About You? Supreme Court's New Agent Already Getting Them Better Cases (glad they're still running with this)
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Sep 7, 2012 09:37
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Vote Republican posted:Have you seen this ad? It gets special after the Chuck's wife starts talking.
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Sep 7, 2012 18:59
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ChocolateMoose posted:I love the Onion's version of Biden God, I wish the Onion's version of Biden was real.
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Sep 7, 2012 19:23
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http://www.theonion.com/video/american-dream-declared-dead-as-final-believer-giv,19846/. Comes complete with a general feeling of "meh".
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Sep 7, 2012 23:05
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Just went through the whole thread and don't have many that were missed re: NPR show Farquar posted:Which was a really fascinating look inside The Onion and one of my favorite episodes. Old Timey ones I don't think have been included yet: My Computer Totally Hates Me! Point/Counterpoint I can't find the original, so this is probably a little off but it's in the context of either the W. Bush election or the Republicans doing well in some congressional election. "They say you get the government you deserve. That's funny, I don't remember knife-raping any retarded nuns..."
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Sep 8, 2012 00:35
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Hey guys remember this article? Well... Yeah.
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Sep 8, 2012 02:50
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SpiderHyphenMan posted:Hey guys remember this article? Democrats should pay him an advertising consulting fee.
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Sep 8, 2012 07:39
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Man Blames Hangover On Everything But How Much He Drank:quote:"Last Thursday, we all went out to Pitchers Pub to celebrate landing this huge St. Francis Medical Center account," said Heather Hagerty, 25, a tech writer at Altered Images. "Over the course of the next four hours, Matt drank six Iron Citys, three Cuervo shots, and a Jack and Coke. The next morning at work, he's complaining that he feels woozy because he didn't take his Vitamin B before drinking. I have this alternate theory that he felt woozy because he drank six Iron Citys, three Cuervo shots, and a Jack and Coke."
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Sep 8, 2012 07:42
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pangstrom posted:Just went through the whole thread and don't have many that were missed It was the 2002 Congressional election. I remember because I lived in Georgia at the time, where we threw out Vietnam veteran and triple amputee Max Cleland for complete douchebag Saxby Chambliss, and that was exactly how I felt.
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Sep 8, 2012 17:20
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Senior Woodchuck posted:It was the 2002 Congressional election. Yes, it was the American Voices right after the election. The "systems analyst" added, "The American people have spoken. And they have said, 'Duhhh, I likes chockomut ice cream.'"
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Sep 8, 2012 22:49
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Jovial Man Must Not Be Aware He Works At Airport Burrito Restaurantquote:"Hi, there! Where you folks headed today?" said the jovial man, who, judging by his upbeat attitude and easy-going manner, has no idea that he is an adult human being making $7.64 an hour to serve a never-ending stream of agitated, ungrateful customers. "Orlando? I love Orlando!"
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Sep 8, 2012 23:21
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And now for something a little lighter: New Zipcarp Service Offers Short-Term Carp Rentals
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Sep 9, 2012 17:41
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 One of my personal favorites
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Sep 9, 2012 21:42
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I think the Onion version of Biden may be starting to come true http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/09/09/joe-biden-cruisers-diner-_n_1869063.html
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Sep 9, 2012 23:38
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Dacap posted:I think the Onion version of Biden may be starting to come true Going by the look on his face, President Ordained Minister Troll does not approve.
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Sep 10, 2012 03:12
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ultrafilter posted:I really hope that I didn't get this from this thread, but it's worth risking a repost: Onion Weather Center: Chief Meteorologist Mike Matthias Gives The Nightly Forecast For His Ex-Wife Sara
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Sep 10, 2012 03:49
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Grifter posted:Is that the sex house host!? Yes it is. The actor's name is Chris Argos. To contribute, one of my favorites articles is 48-Year-Old Man Actually Very Open To Dating 25-Year-Olds. I love the way it deconstructs what he says about his "open-mindedness" as being bullshit using pretty much just his own words. Alpha3KV has a new favorite as of 05:46 on Sep 10, 2012 |
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Sep 10, 2012 05:36
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This is funnier than the actual article.
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Sep 10, 2012 23:07
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Blissful Ignorance Commemorated On Annual 9/10 Anniversary That last line is brutal. 
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Sep 10, 2012 23:49
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Onion Weather Center: Is the South a post-apocalyptic wasteland filled with mutant sub-humans?
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Sep 11, 2012 01:41
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SpiderHyphenMan posted:This is funnier than the actual article. "I told you all he was bad but you said I was just being racist." Priceless.
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Sep 11, 2012 03:47
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Facebook was the best thing to happen to the Onion. It adds a whole new level of comedy to every article that gets shared.
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Sep 11, 2012 13:17
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Literally unbelievable will never stop be the greatest thing.
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Sep 11, 2012 15:24
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I was browsing through my "Our Dumb Century" book last night and I came across a headline and story that was almost as dark as some of the recent ones: Schoolteacher, Kitten, Three Dozen Orphans to Fly on Challenger Tomorrow. There's an image of the article on the website, but the text is pretty hard to read.
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Sep 11, 2012 15:32
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Jesus gently caress Onion BREAKING: FBI Receives Credible Information About Terrorist Attack On Sept. 11, 2001
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Sep 11, 2012 15:38
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Kindergarten Bus Driver Has Seen Some Nutty Moms Before But Holy poo poo
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Sep 11, 2012 15:41
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DarkCrawler posted:Jesus gently caress Onion
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Sep 11, 2012 15:45
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Today's going to be an interesting news day: 18-Year-Old Fighting In Afghanistan Has 9/11 Explained To Him By Older Soldier Edit: And I just saw a Facebook post about 9/11 from my 20-year-old cousin in Afghanistan. 
ultrafilter has a new favorite as of 17:39 on Sep 11, 2012 |
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Sep 11, 2012 16:52
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ultrafilter posted:Today's going to be an interesting news day: 18-Year-Old Fighting In Afghanistan Has 9/11 Explained To Him By Older Soldier That was the first time in a long time the Onion has made me laugh that particular "Ohohoho, that one..." kind of way. From a few pages back, but it's worth resharing today: The Onion's TV Guide from the weeks  My favourite is Lifetime 
HackensackBackpack has a new favorite as of 17:51 on Sep 11, 2012 |
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Sep 11, 2012 17:38
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I'm torn between Public Access and CBS, myself.
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Sep 11, 2012 18:59
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