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I have a hooker's rear end snort post-it notes off me nightly. And I bet, without looking, GRRM has written more about the NFL ref lockout than he has WoW.
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Sep 25, 2012 18:48
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Hell, he's probably written more about the reffing in the game last night than he has TWOW.
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Sep 25, 2012 19:13
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If I wasn't bound to this toxx avatar for a while yet I'd be half tempted to make an avatar of that. run DNC posted:It roughs her up some and then her boyfriend scares it off if I remember correctly. It turns out to actually be a manifestation of a centuries old spell to remove all magic from existence or some poo poo. I think that's how it goes. I'm ashamed to admit I've read almost that whole series, though years ago  . The first book actually isn't that terrible but it just gets steadily more insane after that. It literally becomes a series about an objectivist hero who battles communism. And he puts GRMM's dark predilections to shame because there's a rape or attempted rape every other page. He's not quite as ridiculous with the food, though.
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Sep 25, 2012 21:43
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An atheist objectivist hero who battles christocommunism by brutally murdering everyone who stands against him/by sculpting a statue so pretty that it makes everyone who sees it a objectivist too/by fixing a football match to cause ten million people to riot.
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Sep 25, 2012 21:51
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Thats not even a joke thats how the series climaxes, he plays football and is the best at football ever, and he keeps the game close to keep tension high, and then when the game ends an entire army riots because it was SO INTENSE.
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Sep 25, 2012 21:52
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Then he sends the non-magic people to Earth because reasons. Not even kidding.
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Sep 25, 2012 21:58
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It's taken me this long to realize you are all talking about Terry Goodkind and not Terry Brooks. 
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Sep 25, 2012 22:01
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Do we mean American football, or the other kind? They literally play handegg for the fate of the universe or something?
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Sep 25, 2012 22:12
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Thulsa Doom posted:Do we mean American football, or the other kind? They literally play handegg for the fate of the universe or something? It's a soccer riot but I think it might have been rugby-ish? I don't remember because it was really really stupid.
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Sep 25, 2012 22:32
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If it was Doug Adams, they'd have played foosball. Count your lucky stars.
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Sep 25, 2012 23:00
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Vigilance posted:If I wasn't bound to this toxx avatar for a while yet I'd be half tempted to make an avatar of that. There are literally scenes in those book where he describes rape queues. Like literally people lined up out the door/up the stairs of multistory buildings to rape the women prisoners who he lovingly describes screaming in agony within. Some guy on the football team in high school convinced me to read the first one, and I, of course, doggedly red the rest out of my autistic inability to leave things incomplete. I should probably take the hardcovers I have laying around to the used book store at some point.
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Sep 25, 2012 23:01
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LeftistMuslimObama posted:There are literally scenes in those book where he describes rape queues. Like literally people lined up out the door/up the stairs of multistory buildings to rape the women prisoners who he lovingly describes screaming in agony within. Don't do that, you'll condemn someone else to the same fate. Acquire an alb used by a priest at mass, wrap the unclean tomes within it, and bury it at the crossroads at midnight.
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Sep 25, 2012 23:18
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My dad gave me those books to read when I was like 13 or something. First book is regular run of the mill fantasy basically until half way in theres a hundred fifty pages of bdsm with witches who have magical pain dildos, who have been tortured since childhood to be the ultimate torturerers.
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Sep 26, 2012 01:54
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What the gently caress is wrong with your dad?
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Sep 26, 2012 01:57
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Sounds like Randyll Tarly, only more abusive.
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Sep 26, 2012 02:02
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Anders posted:Are you suggesting that your stupidity is an illness? Because I'm pretty sure B_o_T is a degenerated fruit case already. And I've heard he loving love those post it's. None of that post was referring to me.
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Sep 26, 2012 03:25
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LeftistMuslimObama posted:I should probably take the hardcovers I have laying around to the used book store at some point. They'll probably put you in some watch-list if you do that.
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Sep 26, 2012 10:30
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Yeah, I never really *got* the bad thread rape meme because I'd read a couple of Goodkind books and ASoIaF ain't got poo poo on Sword of Truth.
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Sep 26, 2012 11:24
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Junkenstein posted:ASoIaF ain't got poo poo on Sword of Truth. I'm pretty sure it does, at least in ADwD.
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Sep 26, 2012 11:29
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Uh there's a thread where people are unironically following our Game of Bones gameplan: http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3503700&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=1 What in all the shits?!
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Sep 26, 2012 12:15
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Yeah, except they actually make great googly gobs of money at it.
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Sep 26, 2012 14:22
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Probably because half their writers don't abandon the project. 
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Sep 26, 2012 14:47
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Blade_of_tyshalle posted:Probably because half their writers don't abandon the project. I am contributing via emotional support for those who have been scarred by this project.
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Sep 26, 2012 15:40
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Blade_of_tyshalle posted:Probably because half their writers don't abandon the project. Are we seriously going unpublished because of like three chapters? You're the worst, Bad Thread.
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Sep 26, 2012 15:46
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Teim posted:Terry Goodkind looks like he could beat me up. As I recall, he's like 5'1". 
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Sep 26, 2012 16:05
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GURM released Dance without its intended ending.....
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Sep 26, 2012 16:06
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Seriously, just push whatever's left into A Clash of Cocks or whatever.
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Sep 26, 2012 16:16
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If someone wants to ghost write the rest of mine go for it, I don't want to hold you up and I don't know when I'm going to want to write some gross sex scene without getting completely hammered and I don't feel like doing that lately.
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Sep 26, 2012 17:00
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Wait wait, hold on a second. Lower left quadrant, zoom and enhance.  Now, upper left quadrant. Zoom, enhance.  SON OF A BITCH.
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Sep 26, 2012 17:14
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One of his books is actually just the fountainhead, but fantasy.
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Sep 26, 2012 17:17
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Every single one of his books has like a 40 page FYGM objectivist screed by the main character, how could you not know he was a Randroid?
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Sep 26, 2012 17:43
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Randroid aside, look at that nerd's ergonomic keyboard with trackball. OMG I want to never stop giving him wedgies.
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Sep 26, 2012 17:45
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A GLISTENING HODOR posted:Randroid aside, look at that nerd's ergonomic keyboard with trackball. Everything about that office is 90s as gently caress, but I bet you $50 Gurmbux it's from the last couple years. Also check out that weird metallic buttplug looking thing to the right of his middle monitor.
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Sep 26, 2012 17:50
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From looking at the base I'd say that's meant to be some sort of novelty stick shift for your desk. I'm sure there's still a butt plug in that office, though, you just can't see it.
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Sep 26, 2012 17:51
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He was also Wolf off of Gladiators.
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Sep 26, 2012 17:52
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Thulsa Doom posted:From looking at the base I'd say that's meant to be some sort of novelty stick shift for your desk. The secret is that Terry Goodkind can drive manual with the shifter up his butt. Guess what he drives? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yw7D9cDQqHo
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Sep 26, 2012 17:58
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IRQ posted:Every single one of his books has like a 40 page FYGM objectivist screed by the main character, how could you not know he was a Randroid? Because I've never read them! I just got annoyed. Professional writers have terrible taste in books sometimes.
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Sep 26, 2012 18:51
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Cool Book Quote Time: character Kahlan has magic power that makes people love her unconditionally and do whatever she wants if she touches them. terry goodkind posted:There were tears in his eyes.
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Sep 26, 2012 19:10
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A GLISTENING HODOR posted:Are we seriously going unpublished because of like three chapters? We're so close. Man, I'll totally pull triple duty if I have to. Soon as I get a moment, I'll write another chapter. Everyone else should too.  Also, I never ever ever want to read that thread on how to write erotic fanfiction. This is gross enough without having to assign trends and acronyms and business acumen.
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Sep 26, 2012 19:28
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I guess I'll double down if there's a spare sex chapter.
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Sep 26, 2012 20:00
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