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The Anime Liker
Aug 8, 2009

by VideoGames
I have a hooker's rear end snort post-it notes off me nightly.

And I bet, without looking, GRRM has written more about the NFL ref lockout than he has WoW.

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Urdnot Fire
Feb 13, 2012

Hell, he's probably written more about the reffing in the game last night than he has TWOW.

Ginette Reno
Nov 18, 2006

How Doers get more done
Fun Shoe

If I wasn't bound to this toxx avatar for a while yet I'd be half tempted to make an avatar of that.

run DNC posted:

It roughs her up some and then her boyfriend scares it off if I remember correctly. It turns out to actually be a manifestation of a centuries old spell to remove all magic from existence or some poo poo.

I think that's how it goes. I'm ashamed to admit I've read almost that whole series, though years ago :negative:. The first book actually isn't that terrible but it just gets steadily more insane after that. It literally becomes a series about an objectivist hero who battles communism.

And he puts GRMM's dark predilections to shame because there's a rape or attempted rape every other page. He's not quite as ridiculous with the food, though.

jsoh
Mar 24, 2007

O Muhammad, I seek your intercession with my Lord for the return of my eyesight
An atheist objectivist hero who battles christocommunism by brutally murdering everyone who stands against him/by sculpting a statue so pretty that it makes everyone who sees it a objectivist too/by fixing a football match to cause ten million people to riot.

jsoh
Mar 24, 2007

O Muhammad, I seek your intercession with my Lord for the return of my eyesight
Thats not even a joke thats how the series climaxes, he plays football and is the best at football ever, and he keeps the game close to keep tension high, and then when the game ends an entire army riots because it was SO INTENSE.

IRQ
Sep 9, 2001

SUCK A DICK, DUMBSHITS!

Then he sends the non-magic people to Earth because reasons. Not even kidding.

Shoehead
Sep 28, 2005

Wassup, Choom?
Ya need sumthin'?
It's taken me this long to realize you are all talking about Terry Goodkind and not Terry Brooks. :downs:

Thulsa Doom
Jun 20, 2011

Ezekiel 23:20
Do we mean American football, or the other kind? They literally play handegg for the fate of the universe or something?

IRQ
Sep 9, 2001

SUCK A DICK, DUMBSHITS!

Thulsa Doom posted:

Do we mean American football, or the other kind? They literally play handegg for the fate of the universe or something?

It's a soccer riot but I think it might have been rugby-ish? I don't remember because it was really really stupid.

Blade_of_tyshalle
Jul 12, 2009

If you think that, along the way, you're not going to fail... you're blind.

There's no one I've ever met, no matter how successful they are, who hasn't said they had their failures along the way.

If it was Doug Adams, they'd have played foosball. Count your lucky stars.

The MUMPSorceress
Jan 6, 2012


^SHTPSTS

Gary’s Answer

Vigilance posted:

If I wasn't bound to this toxx avatar for a while yet I'd be half tempted to make an avatar of that.


I think that's how it goes. I'm ashamed to admit I've read almost that whole series, though years ago :negative:. The first book actually isn't that terrible but it just gets steadily more insane after that. It literally becomes a series about an objectivist hero who battles communism.

And he puts GRMM's dark predilections to shame because there's a rape or attempted rape every other page. He's not quite as ridiculous with the food, though.

There are literally scenes in those book where he describes rape queues. Like literally people lined up out the door/up the stairs of multistory buildings to rape the women prisoners who he lovingly describes screaming in agony within.

Some guy on the football team in high school convinced me to read the first one, and I, of course, doggedly red the rest out of my autistic inability to leave things incomplete. I should probably take the hardcovers I have laying around to the used book store at some point.

Thulsa Doom
Jun 20, 2011

Ezekiel 23:20

LeftistMuslimObama posted:

There are literally scenes in those book where he describes rape queues. Like literally people lined up out the door/up the stairs of multistory buildings to rape the women prisoners who he lovingly describes screaming in agony within.

Some guy on the football team in high school convinced me to read the first one, and I, of course, doggedly red the rest out of my autistic inability to leave things incomplete. I should probably take the hardcovers I have laying around to the used book store at some point.

Don't do that, you'll condemn someone else to the same fate. Acquire an alb used by a priest at mass, wrap the unclean tomes within it, and bury it at the crossroads at midnight.

jsoh
Mar 24, 2007

O Muhammad, I seek your intercession with my Lord for the return of my eyesight
My dad gave me those books to read when I was like 13 or something. First book is regular run of the mill fantasy basically until half way in theres a hundred fifty pages of bdsm with witches who have magical pain dildos, who have been tortured since childhood to be the ultimate torturerers.

IRQ
Sep 9, 2001

SUCK A DICK, DUMBSHITS!

What the gently caress is wrong with your dad?

Urdnot Fire
Feb 13, 2012

Sounds like Randyll Tarly, only more abusive.

Azure_Horizon
Mar 27, 2010

by Reene

Anders posted:

Are you suggesting that your stupidity is an illness? Because I'm pretty sure B_o_T is a degenerated fruit case already. And I've heard he loving love those post it's.

None of that post was referring to me.

ZearothK
Aug 25, 2008

I've lost twice, I've failed twice and I've gotten two dishonorable mentions within 7 weeks. But I keep coming back. I am The Trooper!

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2021


LeftistMuslimObama posted:

I should probably take the hardcovers I have laying around to the used book store at some point.

They'll probably put you in some watch-list if you do that.

Junkenstein
Oct 22, 2003

Yeah, I never really *got* the bad thread rape meme because I'd read a couple of Goodkind books and ASoIaF ain't got poo poo on Sword of Truth.

Kavak
Aug 23, 2009


Junkenstein posted:

ASoIaF ain't got poo poo on Sword of Truth.

I'm pretty sure it does, at least in ADwD.

Shageletic
Jul 25, 2007

Uh there's a thread where people are unironically following our Game of Bones gameplan: http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3503700&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=1

What in all the shits?!

Thulsa Doom
Jun 20, 2011

Ezekiel 23:20
Yeah, except they actually make great googly gobs of money at it.

Blade_of_tyshalle
Jul 12, 2009

If you think that, along the way, you're not going to fail... you're blind.

There's no one I've ever met, no matter how successful they are, who hasn't said they had their failures along the way.

Probably because half their writers don't abandon the project. :ssj:

my cat is norris
Mar 11, 2010

#onecallcat

Blade_of_tyshalle posted:

Probably because half their writers don't abandon the project. :ssj:

I am contributing via emotional support for those who have been scarred by this project.

The Anime Liker
Aug 8, 2009

by VideoGames

Blade_of_tyshalle posted:

Probably because half their writers don't abandon the project. :ssj:

Are we seriously going unpublished because of like three chapters?

You're the worst, Bad Thread.

Liquid Communism
Mar 9, 2004

коммунизм хранится в яичках

Teim posted:

Terry Goodkind looks like he could beat me up.

As I recall, he's like 5'1".

Junkenstein
Oct 22, 2003

GURM released Dance without its intended ending.....

Urdnot Fire
Feb 13, 2012

Seriously, just push whatever's left into A Clash of Cocks or whatever.

IRQ
Sep 9, 2001

SUCK A DICK, DUMBSHITS!

If someone wants to ghost write the rest of mine go for it, I don't want to hold you up and I don't know when I'm going to want to write some gross sex scene without getting completely hammered and I don't feel like doing that lately.

Blade_of_tyshalle
Jul 12, 2009

If you think that, along the way, you're not going to fail... you're blind.

There's no one I've ever met, no matter how successful they are, who hasn't said they had their failures along the way.


Wait wait, hold on a second. Lower left quadrant, zoom and enhance.



Now, upper left quadrant. Zoom, enhance.



SON OF A BITCH.

jsoh
Mar 24, 2007

O Muhammad, I seek your intercession with my Lord for the return of my eyesight
One of his books is actually just the fountainhead, but fantasy.

IRQ
Sep 9, 2001

SUCK A DICK, DUMBSHITS!

Every single one of his books has like a 40 page FYGM objectivist screed by the main character, how could you not know he was a Randroid?

The Anime Liker
Aug 8, 2009

by VideoGames
Randroid aside, look at that nerd's ergonomic keyboard with trackball.

OMG I want to never stop giving him wedgies.

IRQ
Sep 9, 2001

SUCK A DICK, DUMBSHITS!

A GLISTENING HODOR posted:

Randroid aside, look at that nerd's ergonomic keyboard with trackball.

OMG I want to never stop giving him wedgies.

Everything about that office is 90s as gently caress, but I bet you $50 Gurmbux it's from the last couple years.

Also check out that weird metallic buttplug looking thing to the right of his middle monitor.

Thulsa Doom
Jun 20, 2011

Ezekiel 23:20
From looking at the base I'd say that's meant to be some sort of novelty stick shift for your desk.

I'm sure there's still a butt plug in that office, though, you just can't see it.

Junkenstein
Oct 22, 2003

He was also Wolf off of Gladiators.

IRQ
Sep 9, 2001

SUCK A DICK, DUMBSHITS!

Thulsa Doom posted:

From looking at the base I'd say that's meant to be some sort of novelty stick shift for your desk.

I'm sure there's still a butt plug in that office, though, you just can't see it.

The secret is that Terry Goodkind can drive manual with the shifter up his butt.

Guess what he drives? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yw7D9cDQqHo

Blade_of_tyshalle
Jul 12, 2009

If you think that, along the way, you're not going to fail... you're blind.

There's no one I've ever met, no matter how successful they are, who hasn't said they had their failures along the way.

IRQ posted:

Every single one of his books has like a 40 page FYGM objectivist screed by the main character, how could you not know he was a Randroid?

Because I've never read them! I just got annoyed. Professional writers have terrible taste in books sometimes.

jsoh
Mar 24, 2007

O Muhammad, I seek your intercession with my Lord for the return of my eyesight
Cool Book Quote Time:
character Kahlan has magic power that makes people love her unconditionally and do whatever she wants if she touches them.

terry goodkind posted:

There were tears in his eyes.

"Please, Mistress, command me."

Kahlan pulled a knife from his belt, ignoring his request. With her other hand, she unfastened the flanged battle mace from its hook. "Take off your pants." She waited until he had pulled them off and stood once more before her. "Kneel."

The coldness of her voice sent a shiver through Zedd as he watched the big man kneel before her...

Kahlan turned the mace around, holding the handle down to Nass.

"Hold this for me."

He took it and held it at his side. Kahlan kneeled down in front of him, close.

"Spread your legs," she ordered in an icy voice. She reached down between his legs, gripping him in one hand. He flinched, grimaced. "Don't move," she warned. He became still. "How many of the little boys you've molested have you killed?"

"I don't know, Mistress. I don't keep count. I've done it for many years, since I was young. I don't always kill them. Most live."

"Make a good guess." He thought a moment.

"More than eighty. Less than one hundred twenty."

Zedd could see the glint off the knife as she put it under him. Chase unfolded his arms, stood up straighter, his jaw muscles tightening at hearing what Demmin Nass had done.

"I'm going to cut these off. When I do, I don't want you to make a sound," she whispered. "Not one sound. Don't even flinch."

"Yes, Mistress."

"Look into my eyes. I wish to see it in your eyes."

Her arm with the knife strained, and jerked up. The blade came up red.

Demmin's knuckles around the mace were white.

The Mother Confessor rose to her feet in front of him. "Hold out your hand."

Demmin held a shaking hand before her. She put the bloody sack in his palm.

"Eat them."

thornghost
Oct 11, 2010

I have a picture of me with GRRM. He looks less than enthused.

A GLISTENING HODOR posted:

Are we seriously going unpublished because of like three chapters?

You're the worst, Bad Thread.

We're so close. Man, I'll totally pull triple duty if I have to. Soon as I get a moment, I'll write another chapter. Everyone else should too. :colbert:

Also, I never ever ever want to read that thread on how to write erotic fanfiction. This is gross enough without having to assign trends and acronyms and business acumen.

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The Anime Liker
Aug 8, 2009

by VideoGames
I guess I'll double down if there's a spare sex chapter.

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