BBM Super-League XXIX: The World Ends With Yu Darvish

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theacox: Jun 8, 2010; You can't be serious.

I won my first challenge! :toot:

and then Kevin Brown got run over by a drunk Badger fan. :smith:

Because of those two things, week 2 will need wholesale changes. Here we go:

Insert 82 Robin Yount at starting SS. Renteria to the bench. Neil Walker to the minors.

*Reconfigured lineup will look like this:*

With DH:

3B:Whitey Kurowski (1943 Cardinals)
SS:Robin Yount (1982 Brewers)
RF:Stan Musial (1943 Cardinals)
LF:Ryan Braun (2011 Brewers)
1B:Prince Fielder (2011 Brewers)
DH:Gary Sheffield (1996 Marlins)
CF:Andrew McCutchen (2012 Pirates)
C:Walker Cooper (1943 Cardinals)
2B:Red Schoendienst (1949 Cardinals)

without DH:
Just sit Sheffield and move everyone up a spot. SP 9th.

Kevin Brown is injured. Move Gallardo to the rotation. Make him 4th. Also, make Clemens first and move Pollet to 2nd. Bring up Brecheen to replace Gallardo in the pen.

*New rotation and bullpen look like this:*

SP:Roger Clemens (1995 Red Sox)
SP:Howie Pollet (1943 Cardinals)
SP:Al Leiter (1996 Marlins)
SP:Yovani Gallardo (2011 Brewers)
SP:Bob Lemon (1946 Indians)

Bullpen:
CL:Rob Nenn (1996 Marlins)
SU:John Axford (2011 Brewers )
SR:Francisco Rodriguez (2011 Brewers)
SR:Jason Grilli (2012 Pirates)
MR:Max Lanier (1943 Cardinals)
MR:Harry Brecheen (1943 Cardinals)

# ? Sep 25, 2012 20:52

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# ? May 9, 2024 22:26

Smasher Dynamo: Oct 16, 2008; ~~Eternal~~ Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."

I'm going to try putting the Games of the Week and the Super-League Challenge first, with the thought that people who don't actually have teams probably care more about that than the team stats.

Super-League VII, Dynamo League Week 2: Simultaneous Catch

Games of the Week

Don May posted:

BEARERS TAKE INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP WITH WIN

Florida City- In a stunning upset, the St. Paul Bearers have become the first corporate team to win a Super-League Title of any kind, picking up the Intercontinental Title today by virtue of a three-game sweep of the Florida Oranges.

The Bearers, despite having management that is negligent at best, where nonetheless able to beat the venerable Oranges three times in a row, etching their names into Super-League history in the process.

Their win, however, did lead to a comical press conference where reporters hoping to hear from some member of the Bearers' organization but no one came out to speak for the team, likely because the corporate owners, whose disinterest in the team is palpable, couldn't be bothered to agree on who to send out or what they should say.

That led to more awkwardness later as oldskool attempted his usual behavior of interrupting the other team's press conference in order to belittle them. This time, however, a surprised oldskool emerged to find nothing but an empty podium. Momentarily confused, oldskool tried to make the best of it by charging the podium, delivering several blows to the inanimate object, perhaps believing that it was acting as a proxy for the Bearers. This fight continued for sometime, ending when the podium fell on oldskool, pinning him. It was quite odd.

Several hours later, the Bearers' did manage to put out a press release that explained that, "The St. Paul Bearers are quite pleased with the outcome of this contest. It is a tribute to the strength of our organization that we were able to accomplish this feat. We hope to build on this success in the future as we continue on in this season of the Super-League. Alternatively, we believe this loss is a temporary setback that we will overcome in the near future, and will certainly turn things around in this season of the Super-League. Thank you for your time."

Box Score

Don May posted:

LOSERS BEAT AILING POSTMODERNIST 4-1

Polyarny- This is not what we expected from the Postmodernists.

They were supposed to bring smallball and speed back into the Super-League. Instead, they've spent the first two weeks of the season getting knocked around by bigger, more powerful teams, as their sacrifice bunts and suicide squeezes have come up flat against real sluggers.

Today, it was the Losers doing the beating, scoring a 4-1 win and dropping the Postmodernist record to 3-8. Whatever it is they did that made them so successful in the Expansion Cup is not carrying over to the Super-League, where the veteran teams have delighted in causing the Expansion Cup VI winners anguish. None more so than Lord Mayor Humumgus, whose Losers won Expansion Cup V.

With a newfound swagger, as well as a new eyepatch covering up the injury he received during the December Bread Riots in Rockford, Humungus was most pleased with his team, "NotThatSamBeckett, you believed yourself a revolutionary. You believed that you would change the Super-League with your gimmicked team. Now you can see how wrong you were. This is the time of the Losers. We have spent much time and effort perfecting our team. Don Drysdale, Satchel Paige...these are the pitchers we have acquired over the past year. And you send the likes of John Tudor out to challenge them? Were it not so pathetic, I would consider it an insult of the highest degree. Surrender, Postmodernists. Surrender now and save yourself the humiliation of many defeats that are still to come. Your team has no future. Your attempt to break the unwritten rules of the Super-League has failed. Surrender now, walk away and live in peace. Continue to resist, and we shall beat you again and again until there is no life left within. But I am not a savage, and my team is not made of savages. We offer you a chance to walk away from this nightmare. Do not reject this kindness out of hand, NotThatSamBeckett. Consider it carefully. It is your only way out."

NotThatSamBeckett responded by staging some sort of play, consisting of several players dressed in monochromatic body suits of various colors walking around on stage and pantomiming speech for roughly twenty minutes, after which every player-actor suddenly stopped and solemnly walked off stage.

Box Score

Don May posted:

DAYDREAMERS BEAT UNICORNS 9-8 THANKS TO ADAM DUNN

Cleveland- Adam Dunn has returned to the Super-League.

With three extra-base hits, Adam Dunn led his team to a 9-8 win over the Cleveland Unicorns. Dunn started a four-inning rally in the top of the ninth inning with an RBI double, allowing his team to comeback and beat the Unicorns in Cleveland, an impressive achievement for any first-year team.

Dunn was not humble afterwards, "Finally, The Chosen Dunn has returned to the Dynamo League. And, much like MSPaintAdventures, the masses cannot get enough of my idiosyncratic excellence. You know, when Mr. Ginger Midget of the Daydreamers asked me to be captain of his team, I was skeptical. He told me that the team was in Barrow, and I thought that he meant that town in Alaska, you know, that one really far to the north. But then he told me that it was actually a town in England, kind of like Gunnerkrigg Court, I'd guess, and I've always wanted to fight a dragon, so it seemed like a real good fit. Personally, I'm thrilled to be here, even if I haven't found any magical forests or elves...yet."

The owner of the Daydreamers, gingemidget, was perplexed by some of Dunn's comments, "There appears to have been some miscommunication between myself and Mr. Dunn. While Barrow does feature many attractions, I'm afraid that we have neither dragon nor elf nor magical forest. I can understand where the confusion might come from, after all, thanks to the Harry Potter series of books, many Americans have associated small British towns with magic and other fairy tales. Allow me to, as you Yanks would put it, set the record straight, Barrow is no way a magical place where fantastical things happen. In fact, it is an industrial town in decline until such time as the military ship-building industry picks up, and we all pray it will."

Box Score

Super-League Challenge!

: Welcome back to the Super-League Challenge. I hate my life, I hate this LP, and I hate all of you.

: Is this about the football game last night because-

: Hey, let's just move on, okay! I'm just going to throw myself into working on the Super-League and try to avoid anything that reminds me of that unpleasantness, okay? So, let's dive right in, we've got a challenge from the Generics against the...Seattle Homers? Seattle? Here? KILL THEM, GENERICS! KILL THEM OR I KILL YOU!

The Following is a One-Star Challenge. If the Generics win, they will receive '70 Catfish Hunter. If they lose, they will forfeit Joe Judge and Moises Alou.

: Homers win Game 1? You lazy Rochester bastards! I said kill them!

: Well, I'm sure they're trying their best.

: Seattle wins again? How is the happening? drat you, kw0134, drat you and your entire team!

: What an upset-

: NO! It's not over yet.

: Yes! Generics win their first game! Time for the big comeback! Come on, Generics, win this loving series!

: NO! Stop losing! You can't lose this series! You can't let Seattle win again. I'm begging you, do better, you gently caress-ups!

: This doesn't look good for the Generics.

: gently caress! Generics lose Joe Judge and Moises Alou. What the gently caress is wrong with the loving Generics that they did this to me? gently caress!

: So, that was-

: No more talking. Let's just move on from this debacle and...drat it all to hell. Okay, the Antarctic Unspecifieds will play the...Oyster Cult Blues.

: The Blues lasted two seasons and were best known for playing well against the Skyhawks and badly against everyone else.

The Following is a Three-Star Challenge. If the Unspecifieds win, they will receive '15 Tris Speaker. If they lose, they will forfeit Bob Allison, Red Ames, and a 2nd-Round Pick.

: Blues get off to a good start. Maybe something can go right for me today.

: So, you want the Unspecifieds to lose?

: I want everyone to lose...unless they're playing someone from Seattle.

: Unspecs tie it up. Of course they do.

: The Unspecifieds are probably the underdogs here.

: Blues win again. And I don't think the Unspecs are underdogs. The Blues weren't exactly known for their clutch performances when they were alive. I doubt much has changed since then.

: Blues on the brink, and let's see if they can get this done.

: Wait, should you be openly rooting against teams like this?

: If I were rigging the results, I don't think the Homers would have won the first challenge of the update, would they?

: Unspecs take one back, and it's now a 3-2 Blues lead.

: Unspecifieds win another, and we'll go to Game 7, because, of course we will.

: Can the Unspecifieds pull off the comeback?

: drat it all to hell. Unspecifieds win '15 Tris Speaker. And I don't care because the Bangers will still murder them good. I'm going to enjoy that.

: Is denigrating owners publicly the best way to build the Super-League's popularity.

: Yes. Yes it is. Anyway, the Dervishes have decided to make yet another challenge, this one against the...Third Newport Sharks.

: The Sharks retired after last season, and so this will be their first appearance as a opponent team in the Super-League Challenge.

The Following is a Four-Star Challenge. If the Dervishes win, they will receive '95 Alex Rodriguez. If they lose, they will forfeit Pete Rose and a 2nd-Round Pick.

: Sharks take Game 1 in a low-scoring affair.

: This is a tough draw for the Dervishes. The Gibson/Williams/Foxx combination is tough to beat.

: Dervishes even up the series, but they are going to win a lot of high-scoring games. They need to clamp down on the Sharks' hitters.

: Sharks take the series lead in another close game.

: All three games so far have been one-run games. If the Dervishes lose this series, those are going to haunt them.

: Another one-run game, another loss for the Dervishes. And they're dying a death of a thousand cuts out there.

: Their superior defense and bullpen should be helping them win these close games, but, in a seven-game series, luck is much more powerful, I guess.

: Another one-run game, another one-run loss for the Dervishes, and this is going to bother Beet for a long time. Dervishes lose Pete Rose and a 2nd-Round Pick.

: Don't worry Beet, it will be okay, no one else in your division is very good!

: That's...actually true. Okay, let's finish this off with the Portland Bulldogs taking on the...Seattle SuperSonics. gently caress. gently caress. gently caress. gently caress.

: Huh, what are the odds of both Seattle teams-

: gently caress.

The Following is a Four-Star Challenge. If the Bulldogs win, they will receive '18 Ty Cobb. If they lose, they will forfeit Eddie Joost and Kirk Gibson.

: Sonics win, and given that they're really good, and the Bulldogs have exactly zero elite outfielders, they might as well give up now.

: Well, you never know what could-

: I'm going to stop you right there.

: See, the Bulldogs tied it up!

: And then...um...lost again.

: drat it, Bomber, can't your cheating at least benefit me this one loving time?

: This isn't going to work. The Bulldogs are just outmatched here. They weren't anywhere near ready to take on a four-star challenge. This is a disaster.

: The Bulldogs with the pretense of a comeback!

: And then they fail! Seattle wins again! Why? Bulldogs lose Eddie Joost and Kirk Gibson. Although, since they should have been playing Dave Parker anyway, this might be a good thing for them. Anyway, that's it for the Super-League Challenge this update. Check back tomorrow. Please. We're down to about 10 readers, and I think most of them are actually alternate personalities that I've created due to the stress of the running the Super-League. I mean, there's no way that Marauder is a real person.

Analysis

I can't imagine that your lineup will continue to be quite this bad for that long. You probably should trade Brett or Traynor for some pitching/outfield help, though.

Analysis

Your hitting is good, but it looks like you might be going the way of all teams that choose the '90s Braves as a feeder team.

Analysis

The Imperialists muddle through, as they usually do. Berkman is out, but you've got a ton of spare corner outfielders, so it's hard to get too worked up over that.

Analysis

I'm not sure why the AI keep punishing Phillippe like this, but assuming they stop (which seems likely), the Unicorns are in good shape.

Analysis

The Dervishes, freed of the Vae Victis Division, and finally getting something decent out of Bob Gibson, look poised to dominate their new division. Good for them. I'm...uh...still working on that new banner.

Analysis

The Oranges seem predisposed to getting off to bad starts. There was a time when that was survivable, but with the Losers stronger than ever, they really need to get it together sooner rather than later.

Analysis

Still working out the kinks, and yet only one game out of the division lead. That said, the Williams/Bonds/Thomas defensive alignment is not exactly ideal.

Analysis

They're hanging in there, but they have to deal with the Bangers and Unicorns next week, and that's probably not going to be very pretty.

Analysis

This was a terrible idea.

Analysis

You'll make a comeback. Starting off your season against the three best teams in your conference was a brutal draw, but things will get easier from here.

Analysis

Cheaters do prosper! Hooray!

Analysis

You need to do something. Now.

Analysis

Gary Carter and Rochester just don't get along, do they? Also, I'm not sure why you think Garciaparra is better than Santo at third, but as a Cubs fan (and both Santo and the Garciaparra you have were Cubs), I implore you to change your mind. Garciaparra was basically done by 2004, and he could really field at third.

Analysis

The Losers continue to be great.

Analysis

Rough week, but those will happen. But hey, how about that Foley/Punk promo from last night?

Analysis

The Bearers score first blood for the corporate teams by winning the Intercontinental Title, probably because they actually got a version of Willie Mays that works.

Standings

# ? Sep 25, 2012 23:52

Smasher Dynamo: Oct 16, 2008; ~~Eternal~~ Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."

The Super-League VII Challenge Series Contest: Your Smasher Sanity Depreciation Station

So, you've gone through the dispersal draft, or you want to fix your mediocre returning team, and you're one piece away from greatness. Oh, you could wait for the Super-Draft around the midpoint of the season, but can you afford to wait? Well, if you're willing to take a risk, then maybe I can help you out...

Here's how the challenge works. You put up your Super-Draft picks, or an equivalent consideration, and choose which level of challenge you want to face. You win, you get a player from that tier of prizes, you lose, I take your draft picks or whatever it is you put up. And, of course, there's nothing really stopping you from challenging more than once...

To win, all you have to do is win a best-of-seven series against one of the teams listed under your chosen level of the challenge. Which team you'll be challenging will be randomly selected, so you won't know which one you'll be facing.

One-Star Challenges (*)

Winnable, but not automatic

Possible Teams
Anchorage Penguins (0-1)
Atlantis Unspecifieds
Atlantis Aquamen (SLVI)
Boston Crabs (SLIV)
Boston Crabs (SLVI) (0-1)
Brooklyn Bombers (SLII)
Brooklyn Bombers (SLIV)
Brooklyn Bronies
California Unspecifieds (0-1)
Cleveland Communists (1-0)
Des Moines Dervishes (SLIV)
Dorchester Phantoms
East St. Louis Electrics (0-1)
Falmouth Clippers (0-1)
Free Country Fhqwhgads
Greater Googly-Mooglies (0-1)
Hakata Runnin' Ramen
Hill Valley Biffs
Jackson Jerks of Mississippi
Jerk City Philosophers
Kodak Googles
Kolkata Indians (0-1)
Las Vegas Gamblers (0-1)
London Calling (1-0)
Motor City Bengals (0-1)
Newport Sharks (SLI)
Newport Sharks (SLII)
#OccupySuperLeague
Philadelphia Longshots
Rockford Losers (SLIII) (1-0)
San Francisco Clues
Seattle Homers (2-0)
Senadores de San Juan (SLII)
Stevie Mitch Specials (1-0)
Toronto Ravens
Vancouver Loonies (0-1)

Rewards

~~C - '99 Jason Kendall (JUN)~~ (Challenge by Juneau Juggernauts)
1B - '08 Carlos Delgado (SES)
2B - '07 Dustin Pedroia (SES)
3B - '37 Red Rolfe (ATA)
~~SS - '89 Ozzie Smith (BSC)~~ Won by Great Googly-Mooglies
~~IF - '85 Howard Johnson (VAN)~~ Won by Rated R Superstars
~~LF - '65 Frank Howard (SJN)~~ Won by Portland Bulldogs
~~CF - '93 Lenny Dykstra (TRR)~~ Won by Rochester Generics
RF - '18 Ross Youngs (DES)
DH - '09 Mark Reynolds (LAV)
SP - '70 Catfish Hunter (NNY/MLD)
SP - '79 Phil Niekro (HAK)
~~SP - '87 Jimmy loving Key (DED)~~ (Challenge by Great Googly-Mooglies)
SP - '26 Urban Shocker (SLA/DOR)
RP - '86 Jesse Orosco (LEP)
RP - '99 Jason Isringhausen (EVV)

Two-Star Challenges (**)

The teams aren't so good, but neither are the players.

Possible Teams
Baltimore Blind Men (0-2)
Cleveland Unicorns (SLI) (0-2)
Des Moine Dervishes (SLII) (0-2)
EV-IL Corp. Villains (1-0)
Greenbrier Orchids (0-1)
Idaho Potatoes (1-1)
Mid-Northern Suicidal Tendencies
Mudville Masochists (0-1)
Paris Postmodernists (1-0)
San Diego Freewheelers (0-1)
Senadores de San Juan (SLI) (0-1)
Silicon Valley Wanzers (1-0)
Tigres de San Juan

Rewards

C - '73 Thurman Munson (VAN/SES)
1B - '05 Ryan Howard (FRA/PRO)
2B - '85 Julio Franco (PRO)
3B - '02 Aramis Ramirez (IDA)
~~SS - '82 Robin Yount (HAK)~~ Won by Madison Mudholes
IF - '91 Matt Williams (OCC)
~~LF - '10 Ryan Braun (MLD)~~ (Challenge by Great Googly-Mooglies)
CF - '79 Dale Murphy (HAK)
RF - '97 Sammy Sosa (DER)
DH - '02 Ed Delahanty (MID)
SP - '21 George Uhle (DES)
SP - '90 Kevin Brown (SFC/PRO)
~~SP - '94 Pedro Martinez (HAK)~~ Won by Florida Oranges
~~SP - '01 Mike Mussina (SES)~~ (Challenge by Great Googly-Mooglies)
RP - '02 Chad Bradford (As seen in Moneyball (PHL)
~~RP - '94 John Wetteland (HAK)~~ (Challenge by Antarctica Unspecifieds)

Three-Star Challenges (***)

Solid fights for solid players.

Possible Teams
Atlantis Aquamen (SLIII-SLIV) (1-0)
Angel Grove Power Rangers (0-1)
Boston Crabs (SLI-SLII) (0-1)
Chicago Dinger-Machines (0-1)
Deadwood Cutthroats (0-1)
Detroit Riots (1-1)
Detroit Original Riots (1-1)
Detroit Switchblades (1-1)
Honolulu Lava Flows
Juneau Juggernauts (SLI)
Leprechauns (1-0)
Milwaukee Drinkers (0-1)
New New York Fighting Mongooses (1-0)
New Orleans Hurricanes (1-0)
Omaha Forgettables (SLIII) (0-1)
Omaha Forgettables (SLV)
Oyster Cult Blues (0-2)
Petaluma Goose Eggs (1-0)

Rewards

C - '22 Gabby Hartnett (GRE/GAN)
1B - '85 Don Mattingly (NNY/VIR)
~~2B - '10 Robinson Cano (LON)~~ (Challenge by Vice City Goose Eggs)
3B - '82 Paul Molitor (GRE)
~~SS - '99 Nomar Garciaparra (DOR/PRP/CHD)~~ Won by Luna Landers
LF - '81 Tim Raines (GAN)
RF - '70 Reggie Jackson (NNY/DER)
~~CF - '15 Tris Speaker (PRO)~~ Won by Antarctica Unspecifieds
DH - '39 Hank Greenberg (DER)
SP - '50 Robin Roberts (PHL)
SP - '62 Gaylord Perry (SES)
SP - '90 Randy Johnson (CLU/DER)
~~SP - '95 Greg Maddux (IDA)~~ (Challenge by Luna Landers)
RP - '05 Billy Wagner (FRA/SES)
RP - '89 John Franco (SES)

Four-Star Challenges (****)

How much are you willing to risk for a star player?

Possible Teams
Chicago Blood Sox (2-1)
Framingham Fillies (1-1)
Newport Sharks (SLV-SLVI) (1-0)
Queens Mercuries (0-2)
Providence Murderbots (1-2)
Seattle SuperSonics (1-0)
Virginia City Vigilantes (1-2)

Rewards

C - '99 Mike Piazza (EVV)
1B - '64 Harmon Killebrew (SES)
2B - '69 Joe Morgan (LEP)
3B - '83 George Brett (BLI/CHB)
SS - '95 Alex Rodriguez (SES)
LF - '67 Carl Yastrzemski (PHL)
CF - '18 Ty Cobb (DOR)
RF - '92 Tony Gwynn (LEP)
SP - '03 Rube Waddell (SES)
SP - '03 Eddie Plank (NEW/PRO)
SP - '12 Christy Mathewson (SES)
SP - '59 Bob Gibson (SES)
RP - '84 Dan Quisenberry (BLI)
RP - '98 Trevor Hoffman (VAN)

Five-Star Challenges (*****)

You're probably not going to win...but what if you did?

Possible Teams
Boston Skyhawks (5-0)
Gander Doppel-Bangers (2-2)

Rewards

C - '75 Johnny Bench (MID)
1B - '37 Lou Gehrig (ATA)
2B - '21 Rogers Hornsby (DEM)
3B - '80 Mike Schmidt (BSC)
SS - '?? Pop Lloyd (IDA)
~~LF - The Mystery Box!~~ (Challenge by Ryleh Cultists)
CF - '37 Joe DiMaggio (ATA)
RF - '58 Hank Aaron (DEM)
DH - '20 Babe loving Ruth (QUE)
SP - '16 Walter Johnson (ATA)
SP - '00 Randy Johnson (PRP)
SP - '04 Ed Walsh (CHB)
SP - '93 Roger Clemens (BSC)
RP - '01 Mariano Rivera (CLU/PRO)
RP - '77 Bruce Sutter (KOL/LEP)

Smasher Dynamo fucked around with this message at 07:18 on Sep 26, 2012

# ? Sep 25, 2012 23:55

mrnoun: Jul 24, 2007

...and now that the main event is out of the way, here's the undercard!

The Norris-Smythe Division Preview

Fun Fact: Super League owners who don't include their players' years in their roster posts, or don't make roster posts at all, make baby Jesus and people who write league previews cry.

Catcher
'27 Mickey Cochrane (Emperors)
'98 Ivan Rodriguez (Superstars)
'01 Ivan Rodriguez/'30 Gabby Hartnett (Cultists)
'11 Buster Posey (Mathematicians)

Cochrane was simply a better hitter than Rodriguez. I prefer the slightly younger version of I-Rod. And Buster Posey is adequate Super League filler, but should probably be replaced.

First Base
'09 Albert Pujols (Superstars)
'59 Stan Musial/'35 Jimmie Foxx (Cultists)
'27 Jimmie Foxx (Emperors)
'82 Jack Clark/'04 Miguel Cabrera (Mathematicians)

Peak Pujols is a bit more reliable than ancient Musial. Foxx was just a kid in '27, but should still hit really well, and you could probably make a case for him ahead of Musial as well. Clark was a fine, fine player, but isn't really comparable to a Foxx or a Pujols.

Second Base
'75 Joe Morgan (Mathematicians)
'19 Eddie Collins (Superstars)
'30 Rogers Hornsby/'84 Ryne Sandberg (Cultists)
'27 Eddie Collins (Emperors)

Morgan and Collins basically headline the "Best Second Baseman Ever" debate. I prefer this version of Morgan by the slightest of margins, almost entirely because of Collins' deadball glove. Hornsby trails behind because of his age. Ancient Collins is still good, but probably can't play a full season.

Third Base
'64 Ron Santo (Cultists)
'69 Ron Santo (Emperors)
'40 Bob Elliott/'11 Pablo Sandoval (Mathematicians)
'09 Troy Glaus (Superstars)

I prefer the younger Santo. Elliott is just a kid in '40, though he'd end up being a pretty good third baseman. Glaus was pretty much done by '09.

Shortstop
'58 Ernie Banks (Cultists)
'40 Arky Vaughan (Mathematicians)
'40 Pee Wee Reese (Emperors)
'34 Odell Hale (Superstars)

Banks' power trumps Vaughan's contact and defense. Reese is just a baby in '40. Hale played exactly once at shortstop in his entire career, committing an error on his only fielding chance, for a 0.000 fielding percentage.

Left Field
'03 Vlad Guerrero (Superstars)
'27 Al Simmons (Emperors)
'64 Billy Williams/'30 "Stephenson Riggs" (Cultists)
'11 Zack Wheat (Mathematicians)

Guerrero in his prime had an outstanding mix of power and contact at the plate, though defensively, his cannon of an arm is probably wasted in left. Simmons is an incredible contact hitter himself, though he lacks Guerrero's power. Billy Williams was a really good hitter in real life, but has had his struggles in the Super League. Baseball Reference knows not who this "Stephenson Riggs" character is. Zack Wheat is a 23-year-old kid, and was nothing special even in his prime by Super League standards.

Center Field
'11 Tris Speaker (Cultists)
'54 Larry Doby (Superstars)
'11 Carlos Beltran (Mathematicians)
'89 Eric Davis (Emperors)

Speaker hits for contact and gap power, and plays defense, though his defense is somewhat offset by his deadball status. Doby's at his peak and was pretty solid all around, but there's a reason people remember Jackie Robinson breaking the color barrier and not Doby. Beltran has a pretty similar skill set to Doby, but is a touch older. Davis had a ton of talent, but never really put it together in real life, and his Super League career has been similar.

Right Field
'66 Frank Robinson (Superstars)
'97 Larry Walker/'30 Kiki Cuyler (Cultists)
'83 Dave Winfield (Emperors)
'36 Chuck Klein (Mathematicians)

Robinson is one of the greatest hitters of all time, and did it during a very pitcher-friendly era. Walker and Cuyler were great, but did it during hitter-friendly eras. Winfield was pretty solid and probably won't kill a team. Klein was getting old by '36.

DH
'30 Jimmie Foxx (Superstars)
'35 Jimmie Foxx/'30 Rogers Hornsby (Cultists)
'27 Ty Cobb (Emperors)
'85 Jack Clark/'99 Fred McGriff (Mathematicians)

I slightly prefer younger Foxx to the prime Foxx/old Hornsby platoon. Cobb was ancient by '27, but hit the crap out of the ball last year for the Emperors. Clark and McGriff were both solid, but not on the same level.

SP1
'27 Lefty Grove (Emperors)
'22 Walter Johnson (Cultists)
'28 Pete Alexander (Superstars)
'11 Tim Lincecum (Mathematicians)

Grove perennially underperforms in the Super League, but he's one of the greatest pitchers of all time in his prime and really should be a lot better than he has been. Johnson is a touch on the old side. Alexander is more than a touch on the old side. Lincecum is young and needs to prove he belongs in the Super League.

SP2
'?? Martin Dihigo (Emperors)
'78 Steve Carlton (Cultists)
'06 Roy Halladay (Superstars)
'11 Madison Bumgarner (Mathematicians)

All of the Negro Leaguers in the SL are the real deal. Carlton still had a few years left in the tank by '78. Halladay is more consistent than dominant. Bumgarner is just a kid.

SP3
'01 Christy Mathewson (Cultists)
'09 Adam Wainwright (Superstars)
'09 Josh Johnson (Emperors)
'11 Matt Cain (Mathematicians)

Baby Mathewson is still Mathewson. Wainwright has a history of success in the Super League, though that was long ago. Josh Johnson had a surprisingly competent run with the Emperors last season, credit where it's due. Matt Cain should be maybe okay? I dunno.

SP4
'19 WIlbur Cooper (Mathematicians)
'04 Pedro Martinez (Cultists)
'42 Thornton Lee (Emperors)
'98 David Cone (Superstars)

Cooper was a quality deadballer, and he's in his prime. Post-shoulder Martinez will have his moments, but he's just too fragile. THE Thornton Lee will probably do his thing again and make me look stupid for ranking him so low. And sadly, Mogul does not give bonuses to sex offenders. Sorry, David!

Bullpen
'00 Gagne/'87 Bedrosian (Emperors)
'09 Soria/'89 Reardon (Cultists)
'11 Romo/'68 Dobson (Mathematicians)
'09 Ryan/'09 Perez (Superstars)

Gagne/Bedrosian by default in a division of terrible bullpens. As a Red Sox fan, I can comfortably say, if I'm ranking '89 Jeff Reardon that highly, it means the rest of you hosed up your bullpens. I don't trust '68 Dobson, who was just a kid and whose peak wasn't that great to begin with. But I trust B.J. Ryan even less.

Predictiion
Cologne
Ryleh
Rated R
Oxbridge

The Mathematicians simply don't have the pitching. The Superstars can hit, but the left side of their infield, their ancient ace, and especially their bullpen scare me. In the end, I think the Emperors steal the division because of their bullpen and their depth.

Dies Irae Division Preview

Fun Fact: "Dies Irae" is Latin for "The Die is Cast." No, wait, that's not right. Well, either way, it probably means Smasher has a gambling addiction to go with his anger management issues and drinking problem.

Catcher
'73 Johnny Bench (Dervishes)
'86 Gary Carter (Generics)
'55 Smoky Burgess (Daydreamers)
'78 Brian Downing (Gumshoes)

Bench is the greatest major league catcher of all time. Carter was also very, very good, though he's on the wrong side of 30. Smoky Burgess was solid, but not really in the same category. Downing can hit, but he's not much of a catcher defensively.

First Base
'?? Buck Leonard (Dervishes)
'87 Eddie Murray (Gumshoes)
'01 Frank Thomas (Daydreamers)
'24 GOOSE! Goslin (Generics)

Negro Leaguers tend to be consistently good in the Super League. Murray is better known for his consistency than his brilliance, but he's better defensively and closer to his peak than Thomas. Frank is past his peak and can't really play defense anymore, but he can still hit. GOOSE! lacks real first base power.

Second Base
'73 Joe Morgan (Dervishes)
'78 Bobby Grich (Gumshoes)
'06 Robinson Cano (Generics)
'01 Ray Durham (Daydreamers)

Morgan is in the debate for greatest 2B of all time, and he's in his prime. Grich is one of the most underrated 2B of all time, a fantastic defender with power and patience. Cano was just 23 in '06, and hadn't really figured out things like "walks" and "defense" yet, but he could hit. Durham is adequate Super League filler.

Third Base
'55 Eddie Yost (Dervishes)
'04 Nomar Garciaparra (Generics)
'18 Home Run Baker (Daydreamers)
'89 Mike Schmidt (Gumshoes)

The Walking Man will get on base a ton, but not much else. Nomar has some power, but is past his peak and isn't much of a defender at third. Baker was never the same player after leaving Philly. Schmidt is about a million years old, is in his last season, and hit .206 with 6 home runs that season.

Shortstop
'95 Barry Larkin (Gumshoes)
'42 Luke Appling (Generics)
'85 Robin Yount (Daydreamers)
'78 Ozzie Smith (Dervishes)

Larkin is in his MVP year, and can provide both offense and defense. Appling plays defense and hits for contact, but don't expect any power. Yount wasn't really a shortstop anymore by '85, but should still do some decent hitting. Smith will play defense, but young Ozzie was a terrible hitter.

Left Field
'99 Barry Bonds (Generics)
'85 Rickey Henderson (Gumshoes)
'19 Joe Jackson (Dervishes)
'06 Adam Dunn/'93 David Justice (Daydreamers)

Bonds always wins. '85 Rickey is the greatest leadoff man of all time. Joe Jackson will hit everything but home runs. We should all know what to expect from Dunn at this point. The 90's Braves' hitters have been consistently disappointing in the Super League.

Center Field
'54 Willie Mays (Gumshoes)
'31 Earl Averill (Dervishes)
'89 Kirby Puckett (Daydreamers)
'98 Steve Finley (Generics)

Mays is in the "Best Center Fielder Ever" debate, and probably wins it. Averill will hit, but not quite as well as Mays, and he's not a great defender. Puckett's Baseball Reference Similarity Scores include Mike Greenwell, which penalizes him significantly. Steve Finley sucked.

Right Field
'44 Stan Musial (Dervishes)
'87 Dwight Evans (Gumshoes)
'04 Sammy Sosa/'98 Tony Gwynn (Generics)
'01 Magglio Ordonez (Daydreamers)

Musial wouldn't hit his peak until after the war, when the quality of the baseballs improved and home runs became more common again, but he's still Stan Musial. Evans was 35 in '87 and his defense was starting to slip, but it was still his best offensive season, and he had a couple more good ones before he was done. Sosa and Gwynn are both just about done. Young Ordonez looked like a future Super League star when he was young, but aside from some brief flashes, it never quite happened for him.

Sp1
'78 Nolan Ryan (Gumshoes)
'24 Walter Johnson (Generics)
'66 Bob Gibson (Dervishes)
'93 Greg Maddux (Daydreamers)

We all know what Ryan is capable of in the Super League. Johnson was 36 in '24, but not quite done. One of these years, Gibson will live up to his potential in the Super League. Maddux carries the Curse of the 90's Braves with him -- they kill Super League teams, period.

Sp2
'78 Frank Tanana (Gumshoes)
'98 Kevin Brown (Generics)
'93 John Smoltz (Daydreamers)
'78 Gaylord Perry (Dervishes)

Pre-injury Tanana always tears up the Super League, too. Kevin Brown's peak was higher than Smoltz's peak, and Smoltz in '93 wasn't at his peak yet. Perry was 39 in '78.

Sp3
'77 Rick Reuschel (Gumshoes)
'93 Tom Glavine (Daydreamers)
'19 Burleigh Grimes (Dervishes)
'65 Phil Niekro (Generics)

Reuschel has a history of Super League success. Glavine's peak was a little higher than Grimes', though Grimes has the deadball thing going for him. Niekro is a young knuckleballer, and not to be trusted.

Sp4
'04 Roy Oswalt (Dervishes)
'23 Dolf Luque (Generics)
'79 John Matlack (Daydreamers)
'95 Jose Rijo (Gumshoes)

Oswalt had a pretty good run in the early '00s. Luque was good enough for the Macho Men, and is for all intents and purposes a dead baller. John Matlack was, sadly, not played by Andy Griffith in the TV series. Rijo was pretty much wiped out by injury by '95.

Bullpen
'98 Hoffman/'04 Wood (Generics)
'54 Wilhelm/'89 Bedrosian (Gumshoes)
'57 Wilhelm/'73 Hall (Dervishes)
'93 Stanton/'01 Foulke (Daydreamers)

Hoffman/Wood are solidly the favorites on paper. Younger Wilhelm is more trustworthy than older Wilhelm, and Bedrosian wasn't quite washed up by '89. Stanton's not really a closer.

Prediction
Gumshoes
Daydreamers
Dervishes
Generics

This should be a closely contested division. The Generics get last place because they haven't posted a roster since June, forcing me to dig several dozen pages deep into the old thread to get their lineups and the years for their players, then dig back forward several dozen pages to find all their draft picks, challenges, and other transactions, so gently caress them. The Dervishes are a conundrum. They're built around offense, but then they start Ozzie Smith at short. The Daydreamers don't have the bats, and the 90's Braves really have been disappointing in the Super League in general. That leaves the Gumshoes, who have a few great starting pitchers and a lineup with only a couple real holes in it. Replace Mike Schmidt, though, dude.

Sic Transit Vir Division Preview

Fun Fact: Nothing about the Sic Transit Vir Division is fun!

Catcher
'51 Yogi Berra (Unspecs)
'58 Yogi Berra/'64 Earl Battey (Bangers)
'10 Brian McCann (Unicorns)
'11 Mike Napoli (Superbas)

I love the Berra/Battey platoon, but '58 Berra was getting just a bit old. Napoli had the one huge year, but McCann is younger, more consistent, and better defensively.

First Base
'49 Ted Williams (Bangers)
'90 Mark McGwire (Unicorns)
'11 Miguel Cabrera (Unspecs)
'71 Don Mincher (Superbas)

Fairly easy here. Williams is the greatest hitter of all time. McGwire hits a ton of home runs, and is still young enough to be adequate in the field. Cabrera also hits, but he's never going to reach the peaks of Williams or McGwire. Mincher is filler.

Second Base
'07 Nap Lajoie (Bangers)
'18 Rogers Hornsby (Unspecs)
'24 Frankie Frisch (Unicorns)
'11 Ian Kinsler (Superbas)

Prime Lajoie edges baby Hornsby, though I think Hornsby has the potential for a better peak if he rolls lucky. Frisch is kind of a jerk, but he's a pretty good contact hitter with a good glove. Kinsler has some power for a second baseman.

Third Base
'11 Adrian Beltre (Superbas)
'90 Edgar Martinez (Bangers)
'73 Darrell Evans (Unicorns)
'11 Home Run Baker (Unspecs)

Martinez can hit, but Beltre can hit and field. Evans is another of those underrated 70's power-patience-defense guys. Home Run will hit fewer home runs than any of the other guys.

Shortstop
'01 Alex Rodriguez (Superbas)
'03 Honus Wagner (Unicorns)
'82 Robin Yount (Unspecs)
'46 Lou Boudreau (Bangers)

A-Rod vs. Wagner is a tough call, but Wagner is hurt by his deadball glove. Yount gets third over Boudreau because he'll hit the occasional home run.

Left Field
'91 Barry Bonds (Bangers)
'10 Sam Crawford (Unspecs)
'11 Josh Hamilton (Superbas)
'03 Fred Clarke (Unicorns)

Bonds always wins. I'm putting Crawford ahead of Hamilton because Crawford's success was over a longer period than Hamilton's, and Mogul takes that into account. Clarke isn't all that far behind, but is getting older by '03.

Center Field
'50 Duke Snider/'90 Eric Davis (Bangers)
'04 Carlos Beltran (Superbas)
'29 Paul Waner (Unspecs)
'06 Ken Griffey Jr. (Unicorns)

The Silver Fox has a history of success in the Super League. Beltran should be solid. Waner lacks power and isn't a great defender, but should hit for contact enough to make up for it. Griffey is 36 and it shows.

Right Field
'71 Reggie Jackson (Superbas)
'65 Tony Oliva (Unspecs)
'10 Lance Berkman/'50 Carl Furillo (Bangers)
'24 Ross Youngs (Unicorns)

Young Reggie could hit, run and field: it wasn't until free agency that he stopped doing the last two. Oliva still has his best years ahead of him, while Berkman's best are behind him. Ross Youngs is happy to be here.

SP1
'07 Addie Joss (Bangers)
'03 Deacon Phillippe (Unicorns)
'58 Whitey Ford (Unspecs)
'71 Vida Blue (Superbas)

Great deadballer beats good deadballer. Ford is also good, but lacks the deadball edge. Blue only really had the one big year.

Sp2
'24 Dazzy Vance (Bangers)
'03 Sam Leever (Unicorns)
'65 Jim Kaat (Unspecs)
'11 CJ Wilson (Superbas)

Vance was a sabremetric hero in an era before sabremetrics, and was never quite appreciated in his time as a result. Leever is a competent deadballer. Kaat is a competent non-deadballer. Wilson hasn't really been good for long enough for Mogul to rate him.

SP3
'?? Joe Williams (Bangers)
'71 Catfish Hunter (Superbas)
'09 Cliff Lee (Unspecs)
'24 Art Nehf (Unicorns)

When in doubt, Negro Leagues. Hunter was at his best in the early 70's, though his peak wasn't particularly high. Cliff Lee is... crap, what did I say about him last time? I'm feeling lazy. Ah, "Cliff Lee is decent, but not on the same level as those guys." Nehf's peak wasn't particularly high, and his best years were behind him by '24.

SP4
'71 Don Sutton (Bangers)
'08 Cy Falkenberg (Unicorns)
'70 Tommy John (Superbas)
'11 Doug Fister (Unspecs)

Sutton has a history of success in the Super League. Falkenberg has been pretty good, too, but not to the same degree. John might actually catch a break with the Superbas infield behind him. Fister's career has been short enough that he'll need a lucky roll.

Bullpen
'75 Fingers/'08 Wood (Bangers)
'71 Fingers/'11 Feliz (Superbas)
'07 Saito/'07 Broxton (Unicorns)
'03 Valverde/'97 Aguilera (Unspecs)

I like prime Fingers a little more than young Fingers. And I like everyone better than old Aguilera.

Prediction
Bangers
Unicorns
Unspecs
Superbas

Plus ca change... The Superbas look a bit like the Oyster Cult Blues, only without Randy Johnson or Mickey Mantle. The Unspecs are short on power and short on pitching. And the Unicorns don't have the outfield to catch the Bangers.

# ? Sep 26, 2012 00:09

StupidSexyMothman: Aug 9, 2010

Well, Welch being not good was bound to happen eventually. Unfortunately I've really bolstered my rotation as of late!

New rotation:
Brown
Santana
Cone
1994 Pedro Martinez from AAA (send Bob Welch down to AAA to make room)
Falkenberg

# ? Sep 26, 2012 00:59

blackmongoose: Mar 31, 2011; DARK INFERNO ROOK!

Send Hall to the minors, start Speaker in Waner's place.

# ? Sep 26, 2012 00:59

ForeverBWFC: Oct 19, 2011; Oh, the lads! You should've seen 'em running!
Ask 'em why and they reply the Bolton Boys are coming! All the lads and lasses, smiles upon their faces,

WALKING DOWN THE MANNY ROAD, TO SEE THE BURNDEN ACES!

As I seem to be one of two owners who've made a post about the Bearers since the league kicked off, I take half the credit and propose we change nothing!

# ? Sep 26, 2012 01:48

Pungry: Feb 26, 2011; JUST PICK ONE. ANY ONE.

The Seattle Homers :unsmith:

# ? Sep 26, 2012 02:19

TKBomber7285: Feb 20, 2011

Since Gibson was in left field by what I see in the screenshot, I guess Frank Howard will take his spot in left. Making a new lineup for the change.

3B Jimmie Collins
CF Chet Lemon
LF Frank Howard
1B Mark McGwire
RF Joe Medwick
SS Alan Trammell
2B Charlie Gehringer
C Ernie Lombardi
Pitcher

Going to wait a couple of weeks to see if Medwick should be replaced by Parker or not. He's not doing that badly with the bat, but if he continues to not walk and have zero power a change will be needed.

# ? Sep 26, 2012 02:40

blackmongoose: Mar 31, 2011; DARK INFERNO ROOK!

Unspecifieds will put up Ames, Allison, and a 2nd rounder for a two star challenge on '94 John Wetteland

# ? Sep 26, 2012 06:44

Ginge: Sep 8, 2011; Well, Chippy is already my favourite character!

Yeah, you go Adam Dunn!

Going to give Glavine and Smoltz one or two more weeks to prove they shouldn't be gazumped by Jenkins/Vance/Shawkey in the rotation, although I get the feeling that Vance should probably already be in there. Thinking out loud here, is '93 Smoltz too young to put in the bullpen?

# ? Sep 26, 2012 14:13

Smasher Dynamo: Oct 16, 2008; ~~Eternal~~ Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."

The Super-League, willing to sell out for more readers!

Dynamo League Injury Report for Week 3

No new champions

Old Hoss Radbourns
Jeff Montgomery (RP) (Four Innings is too many for a closer!) - 43 days

Polyarny Postmodernists
John Tudor (SP) (Excessive World-Weariness...also Shoulder Weariness) - 21 days

Rockford Losers
Oscar Charleston (CF) (That's right, he got injured AGAIN) - 12 days

# ? Sep 26, 2012 18:49

CVE: Jan 27, 2012

ForeverBWFC posted:

As I seem to be one of two owners who've made a post about the Bearers since the league kicked off, I take half the credit and propose we change nothing!

Approved

I'll glady become the press guy for the Beares given that I'm not helping elsewhere.

On the other side of things...

Another injury? Dammit it all. Also from mrnoun preview listing Reese as my Shortstop and Collins without the Alomar platoon aren't the changes in effect e.g. Ramirez back as a starter from his injury (unless he's worse than Reese) and the platoon of Collins/Alomar at 2B?

Slot in Anibal Sanchez for Calero.

Also I hearby challenge for '02 Chad Bradford offering Calero and my 2nd round pick.

# ? Sep 26, 2012 19:38

mrnoun: Jul 24, 2007

CVE posted:

Approved

I'll glady become the press guy for the Beares given that I'm not helping elsewhere.

On the other side of things...

Another injury? Dammit it all. Also from mrnoun preview listing Reese as my Shortstop and Collins without the Alomar platoon aren't the changes in effect e.g. Ramirez back as a starter from his injury (unless he's worse than Reese) and the platoon of Collins/Alomar at 2B?

Slot in Anibal Sanchez for Calero.

Also I hearby challenge for '02 Chad Bradford offering Calero and my 2nd round pick.

Your last roster post was on July 2nd, so I had to piece together what your lineup might possibly look like based on the last update of last season. It involved a significant amount of guesswork and about 20-25 minutes of digging through the old thread to figure out where the hell you got that Eric Davis from and what year he was.

Don't take anything I do for the thread seriously, I'm just some schmoe trying to contribute. I am 100% unofficial and I don't have access to Smasher's roster files or anything.

Current response to my preview: 25% thanks, 75% complaints. This is why Smasher hates you all!

# ? Sep 26, 2012 21:04

Smasher Dynamo: Oct 16, 2008; ~~Eternal~~ Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."

Games of the Week

Don May posted:

CULTISTS ROLL OVER MOOGLIES 7-2, TAKE TV TITLE

Boston- Ted Williams can't hit, the Mooglies can't win, and the Cultists are the new Television Champions.

Ted Williams' unexpected cold streak hit crisis levels today, going 0-for-3 and making him just 1-for-30 over the first two weeks of the season, leaving him with a .033 batting average. In addition, Williams, never a good fielder, made two errors today. It may have been the worst game Williams ever had in the Super-League.

Clearly, the slow start was bothering Williams, late of the Newport Sharks. "I'm going to get better, I'm Ted loving Williams, I'm going to hit. But you know something, I don't think Space Commander Goog knows what the gently caress he's doing. Even on his worst day, at least Student was motivated by making his team better, and when he hosed up, and he hosed up a lot, at least he hosed up trying to do the right thing. Goog? He's out of his drat mind. Why the gently caress do we have two Chief Benders? Chief Bender never does poo poo for anyone? gently caress, the reason that the extra one was so loving available is that Bender kept getting put into the dispersal draft after he helped kill the team he was on. And these loving challenges! Ozzie Smith? Jimmy loving Key? How the gently caress is that going to help anything? What the gently caress is The Goog doing? And don't give me this "Funkadelic Spaceman" poo poo, I want to know what the gently caress his plans are for this team!"

The Goog didn't exactly answer Williams' implicit question, "The ways of Googopolis can be confusing for the untranscedented mind. You folks on the ground just see wins and losses and championships and relegations, but you can't see the stars in the sky. It's not a straight line, taking humanity from this material world into the era of the heightened super-consciousness. If winning was all it took to change the world, then there would be statues of Marauder and TKBomber all over the world. No, it's not enough to win. In fact, winning means nothing, it's just a means to let me infiltrate your brains with the particles of Rock and Roll, changing the centers of your mind into new evolutionary/revolutionary form. Someday, when this is all over, the collective superconsciousness is going to look back on this day and realize that this loss was exactly what we needed to move forward!"

Meanwhile, the Cultists continued to roll, and CthulhuDreams gave another of his triumphant press conferences, "G'day. My name is CthulhuDreams, and it's pretty clear now that I'm the best owner the Super-League has ever seen. In my very first season, I've gone 8-1 and won the Television Title, all within the first two weeks of the season. But I know that a lot of you still don't believe that an Australian could do so much better than the lot of you when it comes to America's pastime. That's why, a little later today, I'm going to play the Boston Skyhawks, the consensus greatest Super-League team, in a challenge series. And I'm going to win, and that ought to show you just what my team is made of. You're not going to want to miss it, I can tell you that."

Box Score

Don May posted:

TED SOX WIN 2-0 DECISION OVER MUDHOLES

Madison- Two new teams, two different paths.

No one expected a lot from either the Ted Sox or the Madison Mudholes coming into this season. Neither had been a disaster in the Expansion Cup, but they hadn't exactly set the world on fire either. Since coming into the Super-League, however, the experiences of the two teams have been very different.

The Mudholes, whose theoretically potent hitting has only rarely been on display this season, found themselves losers in another tight game, as their power bats could do nothing against the Ted Sox's Early Wynn. At the same time, the Ted Sox were able to close out another close game thanks to great pitching.

Of course, it's not likely that either team will continue to play at their current levels. The Mudholes are not really a 2-7 team, and the Ted Sox are not really a 7-2 team. Over time, it seems likely that both teams will settle around .500.

Not that such a revelation will provide any comfort to the Mudholes, whose owner, theacox, wasn't quite sure how to respond to another dispiriting loss, "I don't know whether to drink 20 beers and laugh, or drink 20 beers and cry."

Moose, a returning owner, was more confident in his Ted Sox, even though they may have the least talented roster in their division, "The Super-League has heard false promises of change before. That a new team was going to come into the Super-League and break the deadlock and change how things were done. I come before you today to tell you that your prayers have been answered. The Ted Sox are here to stop the 'business-as-usual' attitude in the Super-League and finally deliver real change for the people. Together, I know we can do this! Vote Ted Sox as your Super-League VII Champions! You won't regret it!"

Box Score

Don May posted:

COMANCHEROS HEROICALLY DEFEAT DASTARDLY POTATOES

Coahuila- In the most inspirational game of the season so far, the Comancheros were able to beat the conniving, villainous, and vile Idaho Potatoes by a score of 6 to 1.

This was great news for the Super-League, who certainly could do without a team as horrible as the Idaho Potatoes, who probably should be erased from history when they are finally relegated, so as not to taint future generations of children with the knowledge that such evil could exist in the Super-League.

Bert Blyleven, who got the complete game win, was circumspect in his post-game comments, likely in fear that a team as malicious as the Potatoes would conspire to do him harm if he were to be overly candid, and so merely said that it was a "good game."

For obvious reasons, no reporters visiting the Potatoes' locker room after the game, but, hypothetically, the team probably would have complained about unfair officiating or some other nonsense, probably while torturing and eating live puppies while listening to Coldplay.

Box Score

Super-League Challenge!

: Some day, I'm going to give this all up, you know? I'll finally get around to doing that Lunar LP I've been talking about. That's a respectable LP...people will like that one.

: You solve the technical problems yet?

: ...No, I still can't get CamStudio to record sound and I'm too cheap to buy FRAPS.

: That's a shame. So, about these Cultists?

: Cthulhu says he can beat you, Nolan. Prove him wrong.

: With pleasure.

: And to the rest of you, welcome back to another update of the Super-League Challenge, where all of your dreams can come true, if only you believe!

: Really?

: Well, it's hard to prove that isn't true! Anyway our first challenge is from the Great Googly-Mooglies and they'll face the...#OccupySuperLeague who-

: Uh..Smasher, a guy came by earlier today and well, he left this for you...

: ...This is a preliminary injunction preventing us from using #OccupySuperLeague in a challenge. I see...let's go with plan B...

The Following is a One-Star Challenge. If the Mooglies win, they will receive '87 Jimmy Key. If they lose, they will forfeit Kerry Wood and the other Kerry Wood.

: And the Mooglies take Game 1!

: Plan B is the some version of the Pirates from the late '00s?

: It sure is! Also, the Mooglies just lost to that Pirates teams. That's...impressive.

: And the Mooglies will take another game, and if they lose this series, they probably should just give the hell up.

: Is this really fair, though? I mean, other teams have play real Super-League teams.

: Seeing as the Mooglies just dropped another game, I don't know that it is. Besides, they're playing for Jimmy loving Key, a lefty whose fastball topped out at around 20 mph. Winning would probably be the worst thing that ever happened to them.

: Hey, fastball velocity isn't everything. You know, my fastball only goes 65 mph, but I get by!

: Well, sort of, and, besides, you're a knuckleballer, that's different.

: Moogs win another, and they should close things out in the next game.

: And the Moogs win Jimmy Key. I can't imagine how this could go badly for them.

: Smasher, would people like me better if I had a real fastball?

: Probably. Then again, no knuckleballer has a real fastball anyway, so...it's kind of an academic point. Besides, unless you're getting some sort of cybernetic arm-

: That's it! A cybernetic arm! From the moment I was a little girl, I knew that my destiny was to become a cyborg pitcher...

: I'm starting to understand why no one reads this thread. Okay, the next challenge is the Juneau Juggernauts against the...Hill Valley Biffs. Probably an easy opponent for them.

: Robo-Yoshida agrees!

The Following is a One-Star Challenge. If the Juggernauts win, they will receive '99 Jason Kendall. If they lose, they will forfeit Francisco Rodriguez and Jonny Venters.

: Game 1 to the Juggernauts, and this isn't going to take too long, I don't think.

: Hey, did you change the Biffs' lineup?

: Yeah, I fine-tuned it a bit. I mean, no reason not to get the most out of the roster they do have.

: Biffs not going to get swept at least.

: Oh, come on, Juggs, even you can't gently caress this one up, can you?

: Robo-Yoshida has a question.

: Three things: 1. You aren't a robot. 2. Robots don't speak in the third person. 3. Even if you got a cyborg arm, you wouldn't become a robot, you'd just be a cyborg, which isn't exactly the same thing.

: The Juggernauts are really going to lose this, aren't they? This is amazing. This is just loving incredible.

: Juggs lose Francisco Rodriguez and Jonny Venters, and I'm really looking forward to factorialite bitching to me about this one.

: DOES NOT COMPUTE!

: Everyday I hate everything just a little bit more. Okay, halfway done with these challenges. Next up, Landers against the Milwaukee Drinkers

: I still want to become a cyborg.

The Following is a Three-Star Challenge. If the Landers win, they will receive '95 Greg Maddux. If they lose, they will forfeit Thurman Munson and Nellie Fox.

: Drinkers win the first game.

: Landers have won a lot of challenges, I think they can get this done.

: Landers tie it up.

: Landers take the lead.

: The Drinkers never actually made the postseason, making them one of the weaker three-star teams.

: Landers only one game away now.

: Wait, don't the Landers have Ripken already?

: Drinkers stay alive for a little while longer. And I guess mrnoun is planning to put Garciaparra at third. It would be a waste to put him at short and Ripken at third.

: What about Rolen?

: Rolen doesn't exactly have a history of success in the Super-League. Wait, wasn't this challenge for Maddux?

: I don't know, all of these Landers challenges kind of blend together.

: And Landers win Maddux. Great.

: So...it's time, right?

: It is. Let's see how good the Cultists really are against the...Boston Skyhawks.

The Following is a Five-Star Contest. If the Cultists win, they will receive the contents of the Mystery Box. If they lose, they will forfeit both Super-Draft Picks.

: Skyhawks win Game 1 in a close contest.

: The Skyhawks are 5-0 in the Super-League Challenge. The Cultists are really going to have work hard to become the first team to beat them here.

: Skyhawks win another game, and have a 2-0 lead, and that might be too much for the Cultists to overcome.

: And at least it won't be a sweep, Cultists take Game 3.

: Still, winning three out of the next four games is daunting.

: Cultists with a big win over Nolan Ryan! This could be a turning point!

: Or maybe not.

: Cultists need to win the next two games to win this series.

: And they can't do it. Cultists lose both of their Super-Draft Picks. Guess they aren't so invincible after all. Okay, that's it for the Super-League Challenge in this update.

Analysis

The Bobbleheads look a bit more unstable than usual. It'll take a couple of weeks to figure out how good they really are.

Analysis

Rough start. Then again, I'm pretty sure that the Emperors have nothing but rough starts.

Analysis

Your defense certainly isn't doing you a lot of favors, but in a soft division, this is a manageable start.

Analysis

You're killing me, here, Marauder.

Analysis

You've been in worse spots, even if your player acquisition strategy leaves a little to be desired.

Analysis

My vengeance will be eternal! ETERNAL!

Analysis

So, I assume a post full of Fresca and unemployment jokes is forthcoming, then? Also, I don't care what you think, I'm telling you that Knoblauch is doing more harm than good for your team. And, while on the subject, Wade Boggs is an actual, factual third baseman. Mel Ott is a guy who played a few games a third base. Why is Boggs the DH and Ott the 3B?

Analysis

Well, Maddux is certainly a step up from Bronson Arroyo.

Analysis

You're just unlucky. Although Leiter and Pollet are disasters waiting to happen.

Analysis

A lot of people have been complaining about the players I let you take from the Bengals. Then again, Mike Boddicker is your fifth starter, which makes me think you didn't take quite enough players.

Analysis

I take all the credit for your success.

Analysis

Wait, you put HoJo at short? Five owners and not one of you realized how suicidal that is? Have you all lost your minds, or do you just have no idea who Howard Johnson is?

Analysis

I can only hope the beating the Skyhawks gave you was instructive.

Analysis

Why does Jack McDowell always do well? I honestly have no idea, but I love the fact that he does. To the point that I will quash any challenge any of the other teams makes about his rating.

Analysis

I'm sorry, but it's never going to be this good ever again.

Analysis

Let me put it another way: Rance (ah-ah) Mulliniks is the third baseman of a team that's going to get relegated. You need to replace him sooner or later.

Standings

Smasher Dynamo fucked around with this message at 22:45 on Sep 26, 2012

# ? Sep 26, 2012 22:38

CVE: Jan 27, 2012

mrnoun posted:

Your last roster post was on July 2nd, so I had to piece together what your lineup might possibly look like based on the last update of last season. It involved a significant amount of guesswork and about 20-25 minutes of digging through the old thread to figure out where the hell you got that Eric Davis from and what year he was.

Don't take anything I do for the thread seriously, I'm just some schmoe trying to contribute. I am 100% unofficial and I don't have access to Smasher's roster files or anything.

Current response to my preview: 25% thanks, 75% complaints. This is why Smasher hates you all!

Don't worry. I fully approve of your doings and am quite glad about them. Just not the kind to throw thanks and stuff around to be honest. take my silence as a pat on the head.

Davis comes from a challenge I think, one that was kinda forced on me due to an injury/Ty Cobb breaking down at the ripe age of 40.

Edit: How do I get worse with each passing day :smith:

I'll probably head right for an early draft pick only to suddenly be on the rise again 3 weeks before the draft so that it will be nothing but a burden. Go figure...

CVE fucked around with this message at 22:45 on Sep 26, 2012

# ? Sep 26, 2012 22:41

Smasher Dynamo: Oct 16, 2008; ~~Eternal~~ Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."

CVE

Calero isn't worth a 1st-round pick. I need more collateral from you.

The Super-League VII Challenge Series Contest: Your Smasher Sanity Depreciation Station

So, you've gone through the dispersal draft, or you want to fix your mediocre returning team, and you're one piece away from greatness. Oh, you could wait for the Super-Draft around the midpoint of the season, but can you afford to wait? Well, if you're willing to take a risk, then maybe I can help you out...

Here's how the challenge works. You put up your Super-Draft picks, or an equivalent consideration, and choose which level of challenge you want to face. You win, you get a player from that tier of prizes, you lose, I take your draft picks or whatever it is you put up. And, of course, there's nothing really stopping you from challenging more than once...

To win, all you have to do is win a best-of-seven series against one of the teams listed under your chosen level of the challenge. Which team you'll be challenging will be randomly selected, so you won't know which one you'll be facing.

One-Star Challenges (*)

Winnable, but not automatic

Possible Teams
Anchorage Penguins (0-1)
Atlantis Unspecifieds
Atlantis Aquamen (SLVI)
Boston Crabs (SLIV)
Boston Crabs (SLVI) (0-1)
Brooklyn Bombers (SLII)
Brooklyn Bombers (SLIV)
Brooklyn Bronies
California Unspecifieds (0-1)
Cleveland Communists (1-0)
Des Moines Dervishes (SLIV)
Dorchester Phantoms
East St. Louis Electrics (0-1)
Falmouth Clippers (0-1)
Free Country Fhqwhgads
Greater Googly-Mooglies (0-1)
Hakata Runnin' Ramen
Hill Valley Biffs (1-0)
Jackson Jerks of Mississippi
Jerk City Philosophers
Kodak Googles
Kolkata Indians (0-1)
Las Vegas Gamblers (0-1)
London Calling (1-0)
Motor City Bengals (0-1)
Newport Sharks (SLI)
Newport Sharks (SLII)
#OccupySuperLeague (0-1)
Philadelphia Longshots
Rockford Losers (SLIII) (1-0)
San Francisco Clues
Seattle Homers (2-0)
Senadores de San Juan (SLII)
Stevie Mitch Specials (1-0)
Toronto Ravens
Vancouver Loonies (0-1)

Rewards

C - '99 Jason Kendall (JUN)
1B - '08 Carlos Delgado (SES)
2B - '07 Dustin Pedroia (SES)
3B - '37 Red Rolfe (ATA)
~~SS - '89 Ozzie Smith (BSC)~~ Won by Great Googly-Mooglies
~~IF - '85 Howard Johnson (VAN)~~ Won by Rated R Superstars
~~LF - '65 Frank Howard (SJN)~~ Won by Portland Bulldogs
~~CF - '93 Lenny Dykstra (TRR)~~ Won by Rochester Generics
RF - '18 Ross Youngs (DES)
DH - '09 Mark Reynolds (LAV)
~~SP - '70 Catfish Hunter (NNY/MLD)~~ (Challenge by Second City Saints)
SP - '79 Phil Niekro (HAK)
~~SP - '87 Jimmy loving Key (DED)~~ Won by Great Googly-Mooglies
SP - '26 Urban Shocker (SLA/DOR)
RP - '86 Jesse Orosco (LEP)
RP - '99 Jason Isringhausen (EVV)

Two-Star Challenges (**)

The teams aren't so good, but neither are the players.

Possible Teams
Baltimore Blind Men (0-2)
Cleveland Unicorns (SLI) (0-2)
Des Moine Dervishes (SLII) (0-2)
EV-IL Corp. Villains (1-0)
Greenbrier Orchids (0-1)
Idaho Potatoes (1-1)
Mid-Northern Suicidal Tendencies
Mudville Masochists (0-1)
Paris Postmodernists (1-0)
San Diego Freewheelers (0-1)
Senadores de San Juan (SLI) (0-1)
Silicon Valley Wanzers (1-0)
Tigres de San Juan

Rewards

C - '73 Thurman Munson (VAN/SES)
1B - '05 Ryan Howard (FRA/PRO)
2B - '85 Julio Franco (PRO)
3B - '02 Aramis Ramirez (IDA)
~~SS - '82 Robin Yount (HAK)~~ Won by Madison Mudholes
~~IF - '96 Matt Williams (ANC/SES)~~ (Challenge by Rated R Superstars)
~~LF - '10 Ryan Braun (MLD)~~ (Challenge by Great Googly-Mooglies)
CF - '79 Dale Murphy (HAK)
RF - '97 Sammy Sosa (DER)
DH - '02 Ed Delahanty (MID)
SP - '21 George Uhle (DES)
SP - '90 Kevin Brown (SFC/PRO)
~~SP - '94 Pedro Martinez (HAK)~~ Won by Florida Oranges
~~SP - '01 Mike Mussina (SES)~~ (Challenge by Great Googly-Mooglies)
~~RP - '02 Chad Bradford (As seen in Moneyball (PHL)~~ (Challenge by Cologne Emperors)
~~RP - '94 John Wetteland (HAK)~~ (Challenge by Antarctica Unspecifieds)

Three-Star Challenges (***)

Solid fights for solid players.

Possible Teams
Atlantis Aquamen (SLIII-SLIV) (1-0)
Angel Grove Power Rangers (0-1)
Boston Crabs (SLI-SLII) (0-1)
Chicago Dinger-Machines (0-1)
Deadwood Cutthroats (0-1)
Detroit Riots (1-1)
Detroit Original Riots (1-1)
Detroit Switchblades (1-1)
Honolulu Lava Flows
Juneau Juggernauts (SLI)
Leprechauns (1-0)
Milwaukee Drinkers (0-2)
New New York Fighting Mongooses (1-0)
New Orleans Hurricanes (1-0)
Omaha Forgettables (SLIII) (0-1)
Omaha Forgettables (SLV)
Oyster Cult Blues (0-2)
Petaluma Goose Eggs (1-0)

Rewards

C - '22 Gabby Hartnett (GRE/GAN)
1B - '85 Don Mattingly (NNY/VIR)
~~2B - '10 Robinson Cano (LON)~~ (Challenge by Vice City Goose Eggs)
3B - '82 Paul Molitor (GRE)
~~SS - '99 Nomar Garciaparra (DOR/PRP/CHD)~~ Won by Luna Landers
LF - '81 Tim Raines (GAN)
RF - '70 Reggie Jackson (NNY/DER)
~~CF - '15 Tris Speaker (PRO)~~ Won by Antarctica Unspecifieds
DH - '39 Hank Greenberg (DER)
SP - '50 Robin Roberts (PHL)
SP - '62 Gaylord Perry (SES)
SP - '90 Randy Johnson (CLU/DER)
~~SP - '95 Greg Maddux (IDA)~~ Won by Luna Landers
RP - '05 Billy Wagner (FRA/SES)
RP - '89 John Franco (SES)

Four-Star Challenges (****)

How much are you willing to risk for a star player?

Possible Teams
Chicago Blood Sox (2-1)
Framingham Fillies (1-1)
Newport Sharks (SLV-SLVI) (1-0)
Queens Mercuries (0-2)
Providence Murderbots (1-2)
Seattle SuperSonics (1-0)
Virginia City Vigilantes (1-2)

Rewards

C - '99 Mike Piazza (EVV)
1B - '64 Harmon Killebrew (SES)
2B - '69 Joe Morgan (LEP)
3B - '83 George Brett (BLI/CHB)
SS - '95 Alex Rodriguez (SES)
LF - '67 Carl Yastrzemski (PHL)
CF - '18 Ty Cobb (DOR)
RF - '92 Tony Gwynn (LEP)
SP - '03 Rube Waddell (SES)
SP - '03 Eddie Plank (NEW/PRO)
SP - '12 Christy Mathewson (SES)
SP - '59 Bob Gibson (SES)
RP - '84 Dan Quisenberry (BLI)
RP - '98 Trevor Hoffman (VAN)

Five-Star Challenges (*****)

You're probably not going to win...but what if you did?

Possible Teams
Boston Skyhawks (6-0)
Gander Doppel-Bangers (2-2)

Rewards

C - '75 Johnny Bench (MID)
1B - '37 Lou Gehrig (ATA)
2B - '21 Rogers Hornsby (DEM)
3B - '80 Mike Schmidt (BSC)
SS - '?? Pop Lloyd (IDA)
LF - The Mystery Box!
CF - '37 Joe DiMaggio (ATA)
RF - '58 Hank Aaron (DEM)
DH - '20 Babe loving Ruth (QUE)
~~SP - '16 Walter Johnson (ATA)~~ (Challenge by Luna Landers)
SP - '00 Randy Johnson (PRP)
SP - '04 Ed Walsh (CHB)
SP - '93 Roger Clemens (BSC)
RP - '01 Mariano Rivera (CLU/PRO)
RP - '77 Bruce Sutter (KOL/LEP)

Smasher Dynamo fucked around with this message at 00:25 on Sep 27, 2012

# ? Sep 26, 2012 22:43

Beet: Aug 24, 2003

mrnoun posted:

Your last roster post was on July 2nd, so I had to piece together what your lineup might possibly look like based on the last update of last season. It involved a significant amount of guesswork and about 20-25 minutes of digging through the old thread to figure out where the hell you got that Eric Davis from and what year he was.

Don't take anything I do for the thread seriously, I'm just some schmoe trying to contribute. I am 100% unofficial and I don't have access to Smasher's roster files or anything.

Current response to my preview: 25% thanks, 75% complaints. This is why Smasher hates you all!

Hey now, I just felt like my team was misunderstood. Clearly you're a better man than I for the effort you put into it.

# ? Sep 26, 2012 22:46

CVE: Jan 27, 2012

Smasher Dynamo posted:

CVE

Calero isn't worth a 1st-round pick. I need more collateral from you.

Would adding Pinto and Sanches suffice?

# ? Sep 26, 2012 22:47

Revenant Threshold: Jan 1, 2008

I'm guessing we're not really into statistically significant results territory yet, so I think i'm going to stay the course until the next update at least. Interesting to see that Lincecum and Romo have decided they'd go from my best players in the EC to murdering me. OTOH i'm getting incredibly lucky with some of those other player rolls, so.

# ? Sep 26, 2012 22:48

mrnoun: Jul 24, 2007

Luna Landers

So all the Landers' challenges blend together, huh? Then let's make this interesting.

The Landers bid '39 Bobby Doerr and '06 Fransisco Liriano on ***** '16 Walter Johnson.

New lineup:

LF Raines
2B Garciaparra
1B Gehrig
CF DiMaggio
DH Ramirez
RF Aaron
C Hartnett (Munson when Feller pitches)
SS Ripken
3B Rolen

Doerr to the bench, Bellhorn to the minors to make room for Nomar.

New Pitching:

SP Pedro
SP Clemens
SP Feller (Munson personal catcher)
SP Maddux
SP Reuschel

Bullpen unchanged. Arroyo to AAA.

# ? Sep 26, 2012 23:44

The Goog: Aug 6, 2007; It's a Goog Day, yes it is!

Great Googly-Mooglies

Well, we lost the TV Title almost as soon as we introduced it, and that's a bummer. But, look at the positives: We swept the Phoenixes, we won Jimmy Key, and Cthulhu didn't win the Mystery Box. Still a good week!

- 1987 Jimmy Key replaces 2009 Ted Lilly on the roster and in the rotation

Rated R Superstars

Look, we get it. Howard Johnson isn't really a very good shortstop. But we had Odell Hale there, for crying out loud. At least Johnson can hit.

- 2009 David Freese replaces 2009 Troy Glaus in the lineup against righties and lefties

- The Superstars bid 2009 Troy Glaus, all of their ratings challenges and a second-round Super Draft pick on a ** challenge for 1991 Matt Williams

# ? Sep 26, 2012 23:47

factorialite: Mar 3, 2008; by Lowtax

Switch Ott and Boggs, also gently caress this stupid thread

# ? Sep 26, 2012 23:53

Senerio: Oct 19, 2009; Roëmænce is ælive!

Challenge!
Orlando Cabrera, all of my ratings challenges and Joe Adcock
* Catfish Hunter

# ? Sep 27, 2012 00:01

mrnoun: Jul 24, 2007

Upon information received from Smasher in the chat, the Landers are looking to make a trade:

One of
1926 Lou Gehrig
1984 Cal Ripken
or 1999 Nomar Garciaparra

...for a second baseman of comparable talent.

Also, Smasher is kindly letting me back out of the Johnson challenge until I get an actual second baseman, as I'd assumed either Ripken or Nomar could play second, but the engine disagrees.

# ? Sep 27, 2012 00:09

The Goog: Aug 6, 2007; It's a Goog Day, yes it is!

A second baseman, you say? Well, let's do this:

Great Googly-Mooglies get: 1984 Cal Ripken Jr., your second-round Super Draft pick

Luna Landers get: 1911 Eddie Collins, my last ratings challenge

# ? Sep 27, 2012 00:20

mrnoun: Jul 24, 2007

The Goog posted:

A second baseman, you say? Well, let's do this:

Great Googly-Mooglies get: 1984 Cal Ripken Jr., your second-round Super Draft pick

Luna Landers get: 1911 Eddie Collins, my last ratings challenge

The Landers accept.

Landers lineup:

LF Raines
SS Garciaparra
1B Gehrig
CF DiMaggio
DH Ramirez
RF Aaron
C Hartnett
3B Rolen
2B Collins

The Landers reinstate their challenge: Doerr and Liriano for ***** '16 Walter Johnson. We took the Skyhawks to six games last year, let's see if we've made any progress.

# ? Sep 27, 2012 00:23

Smasher Dynamo: Oct 16, 2008; ~~Eternal~~ Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."

The Landers-Mooglies trade is approved.

# ? Sep 27, 2012 00:29

The Goog: Aug 6, 2007; It's a Goog Day, yes it is!

New lineups for the Great Googly-Mooglies:

vs RHP

1. Shin-Soo Choo RF
2. Earl Averill CF
3. Jeff Bagwell 1B
4. Ted Williams LF
5. Cal Ripken, Jr. 2B
6. Travis Hafner DH
7. Alex Avila C
8. Brooks Robinson 3B
9. Ozzie Smith SS

vs LHP

1. Cal Ripken, Jr. 2B
2. Earl Averill RF
3. Jeff Bagwell 1B
4. Ted Williams DH
5. Joe Carter LF
6. Chief Meyers C
7. Bernie Williams CF
8. Brooks Robinson 3B
9. Ozzie Smith SS

The Mooglies will also wager 1989 Ozzie Smith and the Landers' second round Super Draft pick on a * challenge for 2007 Dustin Pedroia.

# ? Sep 27, 2012 00:30

theacox: Jun 8, 2010; You can't be serious.

Good God the offense those first 2 weeks was terrible, but I'm not a knee-jerk kinda guy. That rotation still could use another arm, though.

Challenge time!

I'll put up my 2nd round pick, '96 Devon White, and '96 Edgar Renteria for a *-challenge try at '26 Urban Shocker. I can do that right? I'm just gonna tell myself I can do it.

He may or may not help, but I need to do something with the rotation. Also, having an 80 name tool on my team can't hurt.

# ? Sep 27, 2012 00:31

Armitage: Aug 16, 2005; "Mathman's not here." "Oh? Where is he?" "He's in the Mathroom."

: Well, crap. Not off to the best of starts, and Stevie B is starving underneath the batter's eye.

: Somebody please send help. I have mouths to feed

: We've got a huge challenge coming up, and this is something where failure is not an option. We rode this lineup to the top of the McQueen League, and I don't see why it can't happen again. We need to do this, not just for the sake of Vice City, but for the sake of Smasher Dynamo, so he does not need to drive himself crazy finishing up a long and exhausting CYOA.

Lineups:

vs. left handed pitchers (no DH)

1) SS Troy Tulowitzki
2) 1B George Sisler
3) RF Al Kaline
4) LF Matt Holliday
5) CF Indian Bob Johnson
6) 3B Buddy Bell
7) C Ernie Whitt
8) 2B Nellie Fox
9) Pitching Spot

vs. right handed pitchers (no DH)

1) 1B George Sisler
2) CF Indian Bob Johnson
3) SS Troy Tulowitzki
4) LF Matt Holliday
5) RF Al Kaline
6) C Ernie Whitt
7) 3B Rance Mulliniks
8) 2B Nellie Fox
9) Pitching Spot

vs. left handed pitchers (DH)

1) SS Troy Tulowitzki
2) 1B George Sisler
3) RF Al Kaline
4) DH George Bell
5) CF Indian Bob Johnson
6) LF Matt Holliday
7) 3B Buddy Bell
8) C Ernie Whitt
9) 2B Nellie Fox

vs. right handed pitchers (DH)

1) 1B George Sisler
2) CF Indian Bob Johnson
3) LF Matt Holliday
4) RF Al Kaline
5) SS Troy Tulowitzki
6) DH George Bell
7) C Ernie Whitt
8) 3B Rance Mulliniks
9) 2B Nellie Fox

: Oh, and Jeff Tesreau? You're dead. YOU'RE DEAD!!!!

Armitage fucked around with this message at 02:25 on Sep 27, 2012

# ? Sep 27, 2012 00:48

Smasher Dynamo: Oct 16, 2008; ~~Eternal~~ Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."

The Super-League VII Challenge Series Contest: Your Smasher Sanity Depreciation Station

So, you've gone through the dispersal draft, or you want to fix your mediocre returning team, and you're one piece away from greatness. Oh, you could wait for the Super-Draft around the midpoint of the season, but can you afford to wait? Well, if you're willing to take a risk, then maybe I can help you out...

Here's how the challenge works. You put up your Super-Draft picks, or an equivalent consideration, and choose which level of challenge you want to face. You win, you get a player from that tier of prizes, you lose, I take your draft picks or whatever it is you put up. And, of course, there's nothing really stopping you from challenging more than once...

To win, all you have to do is win a best-of-seven series against one of the teams listed under your chosen level of the challenge. Which team you'll be challenging will be randomly selected, so you won't know which one you'll be facing.

One-Star Challenges (*)

Winnable, but not automatic

Possible Teams
Anchorage Penguins (0-1)
Atlantis Unspecifieds
Atlantis Aquamen (SLVI)
Boston Crabs (SLIV)
Boston Crabs (SLVI) (0-1)
Brooklyn Bombers (SLII)
Brooklyn Bombers (SLIV)
Brooklyn Bronies
California Unspecifieds (0-1)
Cleveland Communists (1-0)
Des Moines Dervishes (SLIV)
Dorchester Phantoms
East St. Louis Electrics (0-1)
Falmouth Clippers (0-1)
Free Country Fhqwhgads
Greater Googly-Mooglies (0-1)
Hakata Runnin' Ramen
Hill Valley Biffs (1-0)
Jackson Jerks of Mississippi
Jerk City Philosophers
Kodak Googles
Kolkata Indians (0-1)
Las Vegas Gamblers (0-1)
London Calling (1-0)
Motor City Bengals (0-1)
Newport Sharks (SLI)
Newport Sharks (SLII)
#OccupySuperLeague (0-1)
Philadelphia Longshots
Rockford Losers (SLIII) (1-0)
San Francisco Clues
Seattle Homers (2-0)
Senadores de San Juan (SLII)
Stevie Mitch Specials (1-0)
Toronto Ravens
Vancouver Loonies (0-1)

Rewards

C - '99 Jason Kendall (JUN)
1B - '08 Carlos Delgado (SES)
~~2B - '07 Dustin Pedroia (SES)~~ (Challenge by Great Googly-Mooglies)
3B - '37 Red Rolfe (ATA)
~~SS - '89 Ozzie Smith (BSC)~~ Won by Great Googly-Mooglies
~~IF - '85 Howard Johnson (VAN)~~ Won by Rated R Superstars
~~LF - '65 Frank Howard (SJN)~~ Won by Portland Bulldogs
~~CF - '93 Lenny Dykstra (TRR)~~ Won by Rochester Generics
RF - '18 Ross Youngs (DES)
DH - '09 Mark Reynolds (LAV)
~~SP - '70 Catfish Hunter (NNY/MLD)~~ (Challenge by Second City Saints)
SP - '79 Phil Niekro (HAK)
~~SP - '87 Jimmy loving Key (DED)~~ Won by Great Googly-Mooglies
~~SP - '26 Urban Shocker (SLA/DOR)~~ (Challenge by Madison Mudholes)
RP - '86 Jesse Orosco (LEP)
RP - '99 Jason Isringhausen (EVV)

Two-Star Challenges (**)

The teams aren't so good, but neither are the players.

Possible Teams
Baltimore Blind Men (0-2)
Cleveland Unicorns (SLI) (0-2)
Des Moine Dervishes (SLII) (0-2)
EV-IL Corp. Villains (1-0)
Greenbrier Orchids (0-1)
Idaho Potatoes (1-1)
Mid-Northern Suicidal Tendencies
Mudville Masochists (0-1)
Paris Postmodernists (1-0)
San Diego Freewheelers (0-1)
Senadores de San Juan (SLI) (0-1)
Silicon Valley Wanzers (1-0)
Tigres de San Juan

Rewards

C - '73 Thurman Munson (VAN/SES)
1B - '05 Ryan Howard (FRA/PRO)
2B - '85 Julio Franco (PRO)
3B - '02 Aramis Ramirez (IDA)
~~SS - '82 Robin Yount (HAK)~~ Won by Madison Mudholes
~~IF - '96 Matt Williams (ANC/SES)~~ (Challenge by Rated R Superstars)
~~LF - '10 Ryan Braun (MLD)~~ (Challenge by Great Googly-Mooglies)
CF - '79 Dale Murphy (HAK)
RF - '97 Sammy Sosa (DER)
DH - '02 Ed Delahanty (MID)
SP - '21 George Uhle (DES)
SP - '90 Kevin Brown (SFC/PRO)
~~SP - '94 Pedro Martinez (HAK)~~ Won by Florida Oranges
~~SP - '01 Mike Mussina (SES)~~ (Challenge by Great Googly-Mooglies)
~~RP - '02 Chad Bradford (As seen in Moneyball (PHL)~~ (Challenge by Cologne Emperors)
~~RP - '94 John Wetteland (HAK)~~ (Challenge by Antarctica Unspecifieds)

Three-Star Challenges (***)

Solid fights for solid players.

Possible Teams
Atlantis Aquamen (SLIII-SLIV) (1-0)
Angel Grove Power Rangers (0-1)
Boston Crabs (SLI-SLII) (0-1)
Chicago Dinger-Machines (0-1)
Deadwood Cutthroats (0-1)
Detroit Riots (1-1)
Detroit Original Riots (1-1)
Detroit Switchblades (1-1)
Honolulu Lava Flows
Juneau Juggernauts (SLI)
Leprechauns (1-0)
Milwaukee Drinkers (0-2)
New New York Fighting Mongooses (1-0)
New Orleans Hurricanes (1-0)
Omaha Forgettables (SLIII) (0-1)
Omaha Forgettables (SLV)
Oyster Cult Blues (0-2)
Petaluma Goose Eggs (1-0)

Rewards

C - '22 Gabby Hartnett (GRE/GAN)
1B - '85 Don Mattingly (NNY/VIR)
~~2B - '10 Robinson Cano (LON)~~ (Challenge by Vice City Goose Eggs)
3B - '82 Paul Molitor (GRE)
~~SS - '99 Nomar Garciaparra (DOR/PRP/CHD)~~ Won by Luna Landers
LF - '81 Tim Raines (GAN)
RF - '70 Reggie Jackson (NNY/DER)
~~CF - '15 Tris Speaker (PRO)~~ Won by Antarctica Unspecifieds
DH - '39 Hank Greenberg (DER)
SP - '50 Robin Roberts (PHL)
SP - '62 Gaylord Perry (SES)
SP - '90 Randy Johnson (CLU/DER)
~~SP - '95 Greg Maddux (IDA)~~ Won by Luna Landers
RP - '05 Billy Wagner (FRA/SES)
RP - '89 John Franco (SES)

Four-Star Challenges (****)

How much are you willing to risk for a star player?

Possible Teams
Chicago Blood Sox (2-1)
Framingham Fillies (1-1)
Newport Sharks (SLV-SLVI) (1-0)
Queens Mercuries (0-2)
Providence Murderbots (1-2)
Seattle SuperSonics (1-0)
Virginia City Vigilantes (1-2)

Rewards

C - '99 Mike Piazza (EVV)
1B - '64 Harmon Killebrew (SES)
2B - '69 Joe Morgan (LEP)
3B - '83 George Brett (BLI/CHB)
SS - '95 Alex Rodriguez (SES)
LF - '67 Carl Yastrzemski (PHL)
CF - '18 Ty Cobb (DOR)
RF - '92 Tony Gwynn (LEP)
SP - '03 Rube Waddell (SES)
SP - '03 Eddie Plank (NEW/PRO)
SP - '12 Christy Mathewson (SES)
SP - '59 Bob Gibson (SES)
RP - '84 Dan Quisenberry (BLI)
RP - '98 Trevor Hoffman (VAN)

Five-Star Challenges (*****)

You're probably not going to win...but what if you did?

Possible Teams
Boston Skyhawks (6-0)
Gander Doppel-Bangers (2-2)

Rewards

C - '75 Johnny Bench (MID)
1B - '37 Lou Gehrig (ATA)
2B - '21 Rogers Hornsby (DEM)
3B - '80 Mike Schmidt (BSC)
SS - '?? Pop Lloyd (IDA)
LF - The Mystery Box!
CF - '37 Joe DiMaggio (ATA)
RF - '58 Hank Aaron (DEM)
DH - '20 Babe loving Ruth (QUE)
~~SP - '16 Walter Johnson (ATA)~~ (Challenge by Luna Landers)
SP - '00 Randy Johnson (PRP)
SP - '04 Ed Walsh (CHB)
SP - '93 Roger Clemens (BSC)
RP - '01 Mariano Rivera (CLU/PRO)
RP - '77 Bruce Sutter (KOL/LEP)

# ? Sep 27, 2012 00:50

kw0134: Apr 19, 2003; I buy feet pics🍆

Rochester Generics
:suicide:

Okay, well that's not totally fatal. Let's move Dykstra into CF and see what happens. For the record, Mogul really likes Garciaparra a lot more than young Santo for whatever reason. Who am I to question Mogul's judgment on such matters?

# ? Sep 27, 2012 05:32

ForeverBWFC: Oct 19, 2011; Oh, the lads! You should've seen 'em running!
Ask 'em why and they reply the Bolton Boys are coming! All the lads and lasses, smiles upon their faces,

WALKING DOWN THE MANNY ROAD, TO SEE THE BURNDEN ACES!

Tesreau threw a no-hitter? Nice going lad, have a few awful American lagers on me!

# ? Sep 27, 2012 06:36

Smasher Dynamo: Oct 16, 2008; ~~Eternal~~ Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."

The Super-League: All Miserable, All the Time!

Smasher League Week 3 Injury Report

No New Champions

Chicago Bobbleheads
Gary Sheffield (OF) (Old Style Overdose) - 9 days

That is all.

# ? Sep 27, 2012 21:13

Smasher Dynamo: Oct 16, 2008; ~~Eternal~~ Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."

Games of the Week

Don May posted:

BULLDOGS OUTLAST RADBOURNS 2-1 IN 13

Portland- When the team based around nothing but relief pitching loses a battle of the bullpens, it's usually not a good sign.

With the Radbourns' collection of elite relievers essentially shutting the Bulldogs down, it seemed as if they were in great position, as their supply of quality relievers far outstripped the Bulldogs' own reserve.

And yet, in the end, that didn't matter. Jim Bibby, Doug Bair and Kent Tekulve proved to be every bit as effective as Jeff Montgomery, Mike Marshall and Mariano Rivera, and the teams remained tied into the 13th inning when the Bulldogs finally broke through for a run, winning the game.

This was good news for the Bulldogs, who have struggled a bit of late, dropping out of the Memento Mori lead and losing a four-star challenge to the Sonics. TKBomber, the embattled owner of the Bulldogs, who has been accused of a number of violations of the Super-League rules, as well a number of unethical acts in creating the Bulldogs, saw today as a vindication, "Winners aren't villains. Look at the Yankees, look at the Miami Heat. They've done far worse things than me, but because they won, their merchandise flies off the shells. I am not Marauder, I don't delight in schemes or intrigue. I'm not blakelmenakle, I'm not just here to have a good time hanging out with Mark Grace. I'm here to win, and whatever I have to do to win if fine with me. Yeah, I betrayed the Phantoms. If they had showed me any sign of life, I would have kept them, but they let me down, and so I had to find a team that would do better. I don't give a poo poo what a guy like mrnoun says, what's he ever won? Once the Bulldogs are champions, then no one will care how they got there. No one will care if I cheated or whatever. And that is all that matters to me at the moment. Everyone loves a winner."

The Radbourns, meanwhile, where in a bit of disarray. Warm Sarsaparilla is the nominal owner of the team, but he has not been heard from in some time. In the meantime, Dr. Mike Marshall, citing his doctorate in kinesiology as a qualification, has assumed command, promising that he "won't this great experiment, when the reliever is finally given his due as the true backbone of the team, end is dismal failure. Instead, we shall rise ever upwards, that the heavens themselves may look at our bullpen and weep tears of envy!"

Box Score

Don May posted:

UNSPECS SCORE KEY 5-4 WIN OVER SUPERBAS

Somewhere Cold- This time, I was sure I was really in the Unspecifieds' horrible dome.

For one thing, it was cold. Much, much too cold. A cold that bore deep into your bones. A cold that you'll remember. The rumors that blackmongoose had founded his third revolutionary state/team in Antarctica were true.

The Superbas weren't ready. How could they be? They were from Poughkeepsie, a land of pastoral simplicity, still caught in that moment of history when small mill towns like theirs were transformed into booming industrial metropolises. A man cannot travel from the fields and farms of such a place into this dome without a certain amount of mental trauma.

They did put up a fight, though. Outmanned, outgunned, and in the most hostile environment in Super-League history, they gave a gutsy performance, they gave everything they had. And when the bottom of the ninth began, the game was tied 4-4.

And that's when the sound began. It started as a low hum, and with each succeeding batter, became louder and higher-pitched. Finally, when Frank Baker stood at the plate with two outs and a runner on third, it was maddening. Superbas' players, unable to bear it any longer, began to collapse on the field, blood streaming from their eyes, ears and nostrils. Closer Rollie Fingers, doggedly resisting the sonic onslaught reared back, using the last of his energy to throw just one more pitch. But Mike Napoli, the catcher, could not receive, the sound was too much for him, and he fell to the turf, apparently comatose. The pitch sailed by his prone form, and the Unspecifieds runner trotted home from third to score the winning run.

After the game, blackmongoose was asked for an explanation, and he demurred, "A sound? I heard no sound. There was no sound. That the unredeemed among you, who continue to toil in your obsolete societies heard some sort of sound, were paralyzed by its call is interesting, perhaps reflective of the internal stress such corrupt societies produce in their subjects, but certainly nothing done by me. There was no sound at all."

Box Score

Journal of Don Slaught, P.I. posted:

It didn't add up.

It was cool and rainy that night, San Francisco usually is, and the Bangers were in town. That bastard Marauder has killed about half-dozen teams and beat the charges every time. No surprise their, the Bangers are the richest team around, and justice may be blind, but she can still feel a roll of hundreds being put in her hand.

Marauder was showing off, mainly, using Thomas and Williams and Bonds at the same time. He doesn't need to, of course, he does it because he wants us to know that he's the man who can get any player at any time.

And that's where I came in. My client thought he knew something, but needed to know for sure. He was sure there was more to Marauder than met the eye. I took the day off. It's not like the Gumshoes needed me. I'm just the backup. Maybe that's all I'll ever be.

I snuck into Marauder's skybox, hoping to find something incriminating, by the time I got in there through the vents, it was already the top of the ninth inning, and the Gumshoes were winning 1-0. We might just pull this out.

The room was engulfed in a haze of cigar smoke. Marauder had known I was coming, and was lounging in a leather recliner, watching the game. "Detective, how nice of you to drop in..." His words were like acid mixed with honey, a sweetness that will burn you. "May I offer you a cigar? Some scotch?"

I wanted answers, but he wasn't talking, at least, not about that, "Tell me, Detective, where do you see yourself in five seasons? I don't see the Gumshoes lasting that long, and I don't know where else you fit into the Super-League." As he spoke, Nap Lajoie took a walk to lead off the inning. "Still, I wonder if I might find a use for a player such as yourself. Not on my active roster, of course, but as part of my reserves. After all, I don't know where you're going to be, but I know that the Bangers will persevere." As if to underscore his point, Edgar Martinez hit a home run to give the Bangers a 2-1 lead. drat, things were going from bad to worse.

I don't remember much of the rest of the evening. I knew we'd lost the game, and I knew that I'd lost my best chance to find out the truth about Marauder.

It was dark by the time the game was over, and raining. It feels like it always rains in San Francisco. I put on my trench coat and shook my head.

It was going to be a long season.

Box Score

Super-League Challenge!

: You know, Yoshida, last night I had a dream where I didn't have to do the Super-League Challenge anymore. It was the best dream I ever had.

: Uh...sorry?

: Anyway, up first, it's the Second City Saints against the...I have no loving idea. Which team has that song as their theme?

: Let's see...it appears to be the Dorchester Phantoms.

: How? Why? drat it all.

The Following is a One-Star Challenge. If the Saints win, they will receive '70 Catfish Hunter. If they lose, they will forfeit Orlando Cabrera and Joe Adcock and Three Ratings Challenges.

: Saints with the Game 1 comeback.

: This is the third time a team has challenged for Catfish Hunter, the first two did not go well.

: Saints with another win. And let's hope this is a short one.

: Or maybe not, as the Phantoms trim the Saints' series lead to one game.

: This is the Phantoms after TKBomber scooped out all of their good players, right?

: It is.

: Leave it to the Phantoms to be a pain in my rear end even after they get relegated. And the series is tied 2-2.

: Saints win Game 5, and are just one win anyway from closing out the series.

: CM PUNK! CM PUNK! CM PUNK!

: Well, that will take us to Game 7, as the Phantoms tie it up again.

: And Saints win Catfish Hunter. Series over.

: Hey, what does 'straight edge' mean, anyway?

: I think it means that you abstain from booze and drugs and get a ton of tattoos instead.

: Are the tattoos mandatory?

: I think so. Anyway, up next is the Antarctica Unspecifieds against the...uh...Tigres, I think....

The Following is a Two-Star Challenge. If the Unspecifieds win, they will receive '94 John Wetteland. If they lose, they will forfeit Red Ames and Bob Allison and 2nd-Round Pick.

: Unspecs win as the Tigres look as uninspired as ever.

: Hey, Smasher, I was thinking, what makes all of the other LPs more popular than yours?

: Unspecs win again. And, I don't know, better writing? Less horrible fanfic-equivalent?

: Okay, yeah, but we can't change those. So, I have a better idea, if there's one thing that people like, it's anime and/or anime characters.

: Tigres win, extending this...delightful conversation.

: I could be an anime character!

: You're Japanese, I'm pretty sure that's not the same thing as being an anime character. At least I hope so.

: Unless I became a cyborg!

: Unspecs almost done. And Yoshida, are we really back on this cyborg discussion? Listen, I understand that you wish you could throw harder, but I don't think cybernetic modification is the answer.

: Smasher, I promise you, a Japanese Girl Cyborg is basically a license to print money.

: Really? I'll have to think about that.

: Okay, Unspecifieds win Wetteland which will save their season...maybe. Probably not. Whatever. Okay, we're out of Dynamo League challenges so...

: We get to take the rest of the update off?

: I wish. no, we've got some Smasher League challenges to go through. Up first, the Mooglies have their millionth challenge against the...Who the gently caress keeps messing with these team theme songs? I don't know, let's just say it's the Wanzers.

: Did you know that in German, 'Wanzer' isn't actually a word?

The Following is a Two-Star Challenge. If the Mooglies win, they will receive '10 Ryan Braun, if they lose, they forfeit Santiago Casilla and a pick.

: Wanzers take Game 1.

: Did you know the Mooglies have never lost a challenge series?

: Mooglies tie it up.

: Never! Not even once!

: Yeah? Well, Wanzers win Game 3.

: And then the Mooglies tie it up. drat it? Can't I get just one sweep to save me a little work?

: Guess not.

: Wanzers take another lead.

: And the Mooglies tie it up again.

: And Mooglies lose! Mooglies lose! Mooglies forfeit the Saints' first round and Santiago Casilla.

: So does this cancel the other twenty challenges they've made this year?

: gently caress, I wish. Okay, one more challenge to go and it's the Cologne Emperors facing the...you know what, no more music. It's the Blind Men. Okay? Okay.

The Following is a Two-Star Challenge. If the Emperors win, they will receive '02 Chad Bradford, if they lose, they will forfeit a bunch of other relievers.

: Blind Men pick up Game 1. Are the Emperors really challenging for another reliever?

: Looks that way.

: Blind Men win again. And relievers are about the lowest leverage players you can win in a challenge. And it's Chad Bradford!

: He was in Moneyball! Brad Pitt thought he was good!

: Emperors take a game back. And, so what? Moneyball also had a scene where Billy Beane traded Carlos Pena so that Scott Hatteberg could get more playing time at first base!

: But they won a championship!

: Emperors tie it up. And they didn't win a championship!

: Really?

: Really.

: But they did win a championship at some point, right?

: Not under Billy Beane!

: Emperors just one game away now.

: And the Emperors win Chad Bradford. Great.

Lies, drat Lies, and Statistics!

Analysis

Your team has apparently made a bold commitment to never take a walk. Its kind of inspiring, really.

Analysis

It might be time to bring Vance in for Smoltz.

Analysis

Yount is having some troubles getting things going. That I'm not so worried about. Feller, on the other hand, makes me a bit more nervous.

Analysis

Free Valenzuela!

Analysis

This is looking like a soft division, and I think the Dervishes are going to steamroll it, to be honest.

Analysis

Slow start. It happens. Not time to panic just yet.

Analysis

That is one scary offense, even if Boudreau and Bonds haven't quite woken up yet. Then again, you know that Bonds is going to be good eventually, so only having one position player to worry about? That's as good as you're going to do.

Analysis

I think you guys are more impressive that I give you credit for. After all, you've got Nolan Ryan leading your rotation, and a good lineup. Then again, Mike Schmidt knees are going to melt sooner or later, and you don't exactly have a good replacement on hand.

Analysis

Well, at least it isn't a complete disaster yet.

Analysis

What the hell happened to you guys?

Analysis

Jack Morris isn't right for the Super-League. You know it, I know it, do something about it.

Analysis

Don Mincher wouldn't be a bad platoon DH, but he's not a full-time first baseman, and he never was.

Analysis

The bottom of the rotation is having some issues that will need to be sorted out if you want your team to survive.

Analysis

Charleston is an injury magnet, isn't he?

Analysis

Well, you won Catfish Hunter. Now be delighted as he gives up 40 home runs over the rest of this season.

Analysis

Still Intercontinental Champs, so at least you've got that!

Standings

Smasher Dynamo fucked around with this message at 01:38 on Sep 28, 2012

# ? Sep 28, 2012 01:31

Smasher Dynamo: Oct 16, 2008; ~~Eternal~~ Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."

The Super-League VII Challenge Series Contest: Your Smasher Sanity Depreciation Station

So, you've gone through the dispersal draft, or you want to fix your mediocre returning team, and you're one piece away from greatness. Oh, you could wait for the Super-Draft around the midpoint of the season, but can you afford to wait? Well, if you're willing to take a risk, then maybe I can help you out...

Here's how the challenge works. You put up your Super-Draft picks, or an equivalent consideration, and choose which level of challenge you want to face. You win, you get a player from that tier of prizes, you lose, I take your draft picks or whatever it is you put up. And, of course, there's nothing really stopping you from challenging more than once...

To win, all you have to do is win a best-of-seven series against one of the teams listed under your chosen level of the challenge. Which team you'll be challenging will be randomly selected, so you won't know which one you'll be facing.

One-Star Challenges (*)

Winnable, but not automatic

Possible Teams
Anchorage Penguins (0-1)
Atlantis Unspecifieds
Atlantis Aquamen (SLVI)
Boston Crabs (SLIV)
Boston Crabs (SLVI) (0-1)
Brooklyn Bombers (SLII)
Brooklyn Bombers (SLIV)
Brooklyn Bronies
California Unspecifieds (0-1)
Cleveland Communists (1-0)
Des Moines Dervishes (SLIV)
Dorchester Phantoms (0-1)
East St. Louis Electrics (0-1)
Falmouth Clippers (0-1)
Free Country Fhqwhgads
Greater Googly-Mooglies (0-1)
Hakata Runnin' Ramen
Hill Valley Biffs (1-0)
Jackson Jerks of Mississippi
Jerk City Philosophers
Kodak Googles
Kolkata Indians (0-1)
Las Vegas Gamblers (0-1)
London Calling (1-0)
Motor City Bengals (0-1)
Newport Sharks (SLI)
Newport Sharks (SLII)
#OccupySuperLeague (0-1)
Philadelphia Longshots
Rockford Losers (SLIII) (1-0)
San Francisco Clues
Seattle Homers (2-0)
Senadores de San Juan (SLII)
Stevie Mitch Specials (1-0)
Toronto Ravens
Vancouver Loonies (0-1)

Rewards

C - '99 Jason Kendall (JUN)
1B - '08 Carlos Delgado (SES)
~~2B - '07 Dustin Pedroia (SES)~~ (Challenge by Great Googly-Mooglies)
3B - '37 Red Rolfe (ATA)
~~SS - '89 Ozzie Smith (BSC)~~ Won by Great Googly-Mooglies
~~IF - '85 Howard Johnson (VAN)~~ Won by Rated R Superstars
~~LF - '65 Frank Howard (SJN)~~ Won by Portland Bulldogs
~~CF - '93 Lenny Dykstra (TRR)~~ Won by Rochester Generics
RF - '18 Ross Youngs (DES)
DH - '09 Mark Reynolds (LAV)
~~SP - '70 Catfish Hunter (NNY/MLD)~~ Won by Second City Saints
SP - '79 Phil Niekro (HAK)
~~SP - '87 Jimmy loving Key (DED)~~ Won by Great Googly-Mooglies
~~SP - '26 Urban Shocker (SLA/DOR)~~ (Challenge by Madison Mudholes)
RP - '86 Jesse Orosco (LEP)
RP - '99 Jason Isringhausen (EVV)

Two-Star Challenges (**)

The teams aren't so good, but neither are the players.

Possible Teams
Baltimore Blind Men (0-3)
Cleveland Unicorns (SLI) (0-2)
Des Moine Dervishes (SLII) (0-2)
EV-IL Corp. Villains (1-0)
Greenbrier Orchids (0-1)
Idaho Potatoes (1-1)
Mid-Northern Suicidal Tendencies
Mudville Masochists (0-1)
Paris Postmodernists (1-0)
San Diego Freewheelers (0-1)
Senadores de San Juan (SLI) (0-1)
Silicon Valley Wanzers (2-0)
Tigres de San Juan (0-1)

Rewards

C - '73 Thurman Munson (VAN/SES)
1B - '05 Ryan Howard (FRA/PRO)
2B - '85 Julio Franco (PRO)
3B - '02 Aramis Ramirez (IDA)
~~SS - '82 Robin Yount (HAK)~~ Won by Madison Mudholes
~~IF - '96 Matt Williams (ANC/SES)~~ (Challenge by Rated R Superstars)
LF - '10 Ryan Braun (MLD)
CF - '79 Dale Murphy (HAK)
RF - '97 Sammy Sosa (DER)
DH - '02 Ed Delahanty (MID)
SP - '21 George Uhle (DES)
SP - '90 Kevin Brown (SFC/PRO)
~~SP - '94 Pedro Martinez (HAK)~~ Won by Florida Oranges
~~SP - '01 Mike Mussina (SES)~~ (Challenge by Great Googly-Mooglies)
~~RP - '02 Chad Bradford~~ Won by Cologne Emperors
~~RP - '94 John Wetteland (HAK)~~ Won by Antarctica Unspecifieds

Three-Star Challenges (***)

Solid fights for solid players.

Possible Teams
Atlantis Aquamen (SLIII-SLIV) (1-0)
Angel Grove Power Rangers (0-1)
Boston Crabs (SLI-SLII) (0-1)
Chicago Dinger-Machines (0-1)
Deadwood Cutthroats (0-1)
Detroit Riots (1-1)
Detroit Original Riots (1-1)
Detroit Switchblades (1-1)
Honolulu Lava Flows
Juneau Juggernauts (SLI)
Leprechauns (1-0)
Milwaukee Drinkers (0-2)
New New York Fighting Mongooses (1-0)
New Orleans Hurricanes (1-0)
Omaha Forgettables (SLIII) (0-1)
Omaha Forgettables (SLV)
Oyster Cult Blues (0-2)
Petaluma Goose Eggs (1-0)

Rewards

C - '22 Gabby Hartnett (GRE/GAN)
1B - '85 Don Mattingly (NNY/VIR)
~~2B - '10 Robinson Cano (LON)~~ (Challenge by Vice City Goose Eggs)
3B - '82 Paul Molitor (GRE)
~~SS - '99 Nomar Garciaparra (DOR/PRP/CHD)~~ Won by Luna Landers
LF - '81 Tim Raines (GAN)
RF - '70 Reggie Jackson (NNY/DER)
~~CF - '15 Tris Speaker (PRO)~~ Won by Antarctica Unspecifieds
DH - '39 Hank Greenberg (DER)
SP - '50 Robin Roberts (PHL)
SP - '62 Gaylord Perry (SES)
SP - '90 Randy Johnson (CLU/DER)
~~SP - '95 Greg Maddux (IDA)~~ Won by Luna Landers
RP - '05 Billy Wagner (FRA/SES)
RP - '89 John Franco (SES)

Four-Star Challenges (****)

How much are you willing to risk for a star player?

Possible Teams
Chicago Blood Sox (2-1)
Framingham Fillies (1-1)
Newport Sharks (SLV-SLVI) (1-0)
Queens Mercuries (0-2)
Providence Murderbots (1-2)
Seattle SuperSonics (1-0)
Virginia City Vigilantes (1-2)

Rewards

C - '99 Mike Piazza (EVV)
1B - '64 Harmon Killebrew (SES)
2B - '69 Joe Morgan (LEP)
3B - '83 George Brett (BLI/CHB)
SS - '95 Alex Rodriguez (SES)
LF - '67 Carl Yastrzemski (PHL)
CF - '18 Ty Cobb (DOR)
RF - '92 Tony Gwynn (LEP)
SP - '03 Rube Waddell (SES)
SP - '03 Eddie Plank (NEW/PRO)
SP - '12 Christy Mathewson (SES)
SP - '59 Bob Gibson (SES)
RP - '84 Dan Quisenberry (BLI)
RP - '98 Trevor Hoffman (VAN)

Five-Star Challenges (*****)

You're probably not going to win...but what if you did?

Possible Teams
Boston Skyhawks (6-0)
Gander Doppel-Bangers (2-2)

Rewards

C - '75 Johnny Bench (MID)
1B - '37 Lou Gehrig (ATA)
2B - '21 Rogers Hornsby (DEM)
3B - '80 Mike Schmidt (BSC)
SS - '?? Pop Lloyd (IDA)
LF - The Mystery Box!
CF - '37 Joe DiMaggio (ATA)
RF - '58 Hank Aaron (DEM)
DH - '20 Babe loving Ruth (QUE)
~~SP - '16 Walter Johnson (ATA)~~ (Challenge by Luna Landers)
SP - '00 Randy Johnson (PRP)
SP - '04 Ed Walsh (CHB)
SP - '93 Roger Clemens (BSC)
RP - '01 Mariano Rivera (CLU/PRO)
RP - '77 Bruce Sutter (KOL/LEP)

# ? Sep 28, 2012 01:36

Senerio: Oct 19, 2009; Roëmænce is ælive!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wbJOHTWZDV8
Smasher, I hate to be a bother, but I think you chose the wrong reliever for me.

http://www.baseball-reference.com/players/m/mcmahdo02.shtml
I should have Don McMahon, but I have Doc McMahon.
http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3499603&userid=156634#post407649240

# ? Sep 28, 2012 01:38

ToiletofSadness: Mar 27, 2010

Is it possible to make a challenge for a new team trainer? New lineups while Charleston recovers from Josh Hamilton disease...

vs RHP
SS Cronin
CF Speaker
1B Thomas
LF Robinson
RF Oliva
3B Youkilis
C Torre/Martinez
2B Frisch
P Pitcher

vs LHP
SS Cronin
CF Speaker
1B Thomas
RF Robinson
3B Youkilis
LF O'Doul
C Torre/Martinez
2B Frisch
P Pitcher

# ? Sep 28, 2012 01:44

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 9, 2024 22:26

The Goog: Aug 6, 2007; It's a Goog Day, yes it is!

Well, that's a shame. I guess we had to lose one at some point. Let's call up 1934 Lloyd Brown to replace Casilla on the roster; he'll be the middle reliever, with Justin Masterson moving to short relief.

# ? Sep 28, 2012 02:11

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Let's Play! > BBM Super-League XXIX: The World Ends With Yu Darvish

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