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Corridor posted:And how do you even make a ghost mating call? Well, if a life time of movie watching has taught me anything, its that the ghost mating call is Unchained Melody.
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Oct 1, 2012 14:41
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P.S. STILL COMPLETELY DEVOID OF MERIT
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| # ? Jun 3, 2024 23:38 |
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Corridor posted:So ghost-loving is what it takes to hang out with lion cubs? Gee, I don't like ghost sex very much, but I do like baby lions. I'm torn, here. "ooooooooooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooo baby"
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Oct 1, 2012 14:55
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Corridor posted:So ghost-loving is what it takes to hang out with lion cubs? Gee, I don't like ghost sex very much, but I do like baby lions. I'm torn, here. Ghost blowjobs whoooooOOOoooOoooOoooooooooOooo ghoooooost bloooowjoooobs whoooOOooOOooooOooo If that doesn't work maybe an anime boy from the astral plane could pretend? God, this thread.
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Oct 1, 2012 14:57
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I love how ghost people never want to sleep with really secure, confident, attractive people. It's always greasy anime obsessives and Ke$ha.
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Oct 1, 2012 15:08
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Well, when you don't even have a body, you can't be a chooser.
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Oct 1, 2012 15:14
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Question Mark Mound posted:I love how ghost people never want to sleep with really secure, confident, attractive people. It's always greasy anime obsessives and Ke$ha. Plenty of secure, confident, and attractive people have sex with ghosts. They just don't go bragging to everyone that they did.
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Oct 1, 2012 15:44
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Guesticles posted:Plenty of secure, confident, and attractive people have sex with ghosts. They just don't go bragging to everyone that they did. How many baby lions do they hang out with per day? On average.
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Oct 1, 2012 16:36
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Guesticles posted:Plenty of secure, confident, and attractive people have sex with ghosts. They just don't go bragging to everyone that they did. Sometimes you'll go to bars and get all these ghost pick up artists, though.
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Oct 1, 2012 20:34
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Ke$ha probably didn't even bone a ghost anyway, she probably just got all hosed up with Wayne Coyne and his wife recording for Heady Fwends and thought she boned a ghost.
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Oct 1, 2012 21:27
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Your raise your arms in the direction of the ghost, wriggle your fingers ands go "oooooohhh" Simple.
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Oct 2, 2012 02:46
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Mind Loving Owl posted:Your raise your arms in the direction of the ghost, wriggle your fingers ands go "oooooohhh" So is that part the sexing, or...?
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Oct 2, 2012 06:01
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Foreplay silly. For the sex you need a Whoopie Goldburg or if the ghost is a girl one of her old friends. Edit: Oh if he's only half ghost you need a depraved fanfiction writer. And wouldn't it be perfect if Ke$ha claimed she got pregnant by it? The ghost not the fanfiction writer. Mind Loving Owl fucked around with this message at 07:10 on Oct 2, 2012 |
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Oct 2, 2012 07:05
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Guesticles posted:Plenty of secure, confident, and attractive people have sex with ghosts. They just don't go bragging to everyone that they did. Maybe you guys look at someone and see a ghost, but I just see a person. It's 2012, people.
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Oct 2, 2012 18:51
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I gather its not that uncommon in rural areas. Something like 1 in 3 people in rural communities have had at least some sexual contact with them. I'm kind of suprised that Ke$ha had sex with one though, maybe she was trying to milk it or something? Edit: Oh, I thought we were talking about Goats, not Ghosts. Never mind...
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Oct 2, 2012 19:03
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SiKboy posted:I gather its not that uncommon in rural areas. Something like 1 in 3 people in rural communities have had at least some sexual contact with them. I'm surprised internet is that common in rural areas, much less that so many of them find it arousing. Edit: Oh, sorry, thought you were talking about goatse, not goats.
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Oct 2, 2012 19:15
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Guesticles posted:I'm surprised internet is that common in rural areas, much less that so many of them find it arousing. Edit: Oh, sorry, thought you were talking about Gotye, not goatse.
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Oct 3, 2012 01:33
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I posted:Even if you hate him, his video has got over 327 million Youtube hits. I don't understand why so many people think they're the sign somebody is an evil twin. Edit: Oh, sorry, I thought you were talking about goatees, not Gotye.
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Oct 3, 2012 08:39
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teh winnar! posted:I don't understand why so many people think they're the sign somebody is an evil twin. Edit: Oh, sorry, thought you were talking about Godot, not goatees.
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Oct 3, 2012 09:12
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Question Mark Mound posted:Just typical of your kind to think that he's unreliable and never shows up when he's supposed to. Who does he think he is, anyway? Asking for my energy to save some other damned planet I'll never see anyway. Edit: Oh, sorry, thought you were talking about Goku, not Godot.
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Oct 3, 2012 10:47
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Imalloutofideas posted:Who does he think he is, anyway? Asking for my energy to save some other damned planet I'll never see anyway. He's an rear end in a top hat, they're all assholes, anyway, keep putting holes in my lawn for their burrows. e: Whoops, thought you meant gophers, not Goku.
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Oct 3, 2012 11:19
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neongrey posted:He's an rear end in a top hat, they're all assholes, anyway, keep putting holes in my lawn for their burrows. They're all rich white assholes anyway, shuffling around for hours in plaid pants while playing the most boring game on the planet. At least some of them get struck by lightning. Edit: poo poo, thought you were on golfers, not gophers.
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Oct 3, 2012 12:25
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Derail is fun. So one of my old classmates got himself badly injured jumping into wardrobes to try and get into Narnia, and later, Terabithia. That last one confuses me.
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Oct 3, 2012 13:54
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This is going in the quotes thread as soon as I get out of class. 
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Oct 3, 2012 17:47
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Mind Loving Owl posted:Derail is fun. Is your friend in elementary school? Since you killed the most excellent detail I guess I'll tell another Sarah story. Sarah hit her freshman or sophomore year if high school and became obsessed with sex. Partly this was because she got her first boyfriend and partly because I guess someone on one of the geocities energy vampire websites she had found/built? told her sex was the best was to, um, "feed". Anyway her boyfriend was (and is) a fedora-wearing very blonde greasy-haired loser and he jumped at the chance to get laid at like 15. Now he had normal parents who cared about him and so there was no way they could have sex at his house. So they decided her place was the best. Sarah's mom was a single mom. She was definitely a little odd (my pseudonym for Sarah is boring but I'm pretty sure her name is unique in the world), and she had the normal "teenage mom" thing where she wore too much leopard print at 35, but she was caring and involved. Came and met my mom before we could hang out and that kind of thing. So it wasn't going to be easy for Sarah and her new sweaty boyfriend to do the deed. They had to find some way to convince Sarah's mom to leave them alone. They tried a number of spells to no avail. They tried a muffling spell so she just wouldn't hear them but she "foiled" that by not letting them have the door closed. I remember a call from Sarah one night as she fought tears and whispered curses at her mom for being so draconian and how "someday she'll be sorry. She doesn't know it right now but when Isilme [her elven astral boyfriend] manifests then I'll be free and she won't be able to stop me anymore!" So one day Sarah decided to drug her mom with some sleeping pills in her tea. I don't know where she got them, I assume they were over the counter or something. I remember the glee in her voice when she said it was finally the day. It would happen. They came home from school, somehow connived the mother into taking the pills, and waited for them to work. And waited. And waited. What had gone wrong?  "Mom, don't you feel...tired? You can take a nap if you want." "oh honey, I'm tired every day but don't worry! I'm used to it."And thus was foiled Sarah's attempt to have sex in her mom's house. I'm pretty sure after that she and her boyfriend found a private patch of dirt somewhere to get it on. Bleh.
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Oct 3, 2012 18:15
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Somehow, I feel like I've heard this story before.
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Oct 3, 2012 20:05
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Earlier in the thread there was some chick who tried to curse her mom into sleeping with blood in her tea or something, can't remember but you're on to something.
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Oct 4, 2012 00:45
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InEscape posted:Is your friend in elementary school? You already told that story, but last time Sarah's mom caught them and called the boyfriend's dad. 
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Oct 4, 2012 00:48
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You know Astral plane sex always reminded me of sucubbus myths.
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Oct 4, 2012 01:08
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A Pinball Wizard posted:You already told that story, but last time Sarah's mom caught them and called the boyfriend's dad. It's just like some of the people here bullshit those stories together, weird.
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Oct 4, 2012 01:15
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skipThings posted:It's just like some of the people here bullshit those stories together, weird. Nooo, Sherlock! No, say it isn't so!  :mono:  Most writers know to go over their work for inconsistencies is all. Edit: what happened to mono? 
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Oct 4, 2012 02:45
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skipThings posted:It's just like some of the people here bullshit those stories together, weird. skipThings posted:It's just like some of the people here bullshit those stories together, weird. Hahaha you caught me, I never found out after the point of "I'm gonna drug mom" except that it didn't work, so I got to make up the end. I clearly am out of good stories, which is a pity because I'm sure there are more about this girl, but I don't remember much because I sort of put her out of my head after I got non-crazy friends. Her friend with the AIDS-denying parents I stayed friends with for longer but her story was just sad. 
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Oct 4, 2012 18:36
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This thread is dead have a story. My Brother the Eleven-year-old Social Anarchist In hindsight, this incident might have occurred when we were a little younger, perhaps when Josh was around nine or so. My mother has a huge green thumb, and as such, our property was always bordered by a large assortment of foliage and flowers, dense and very high. It was among these flowers, that one day, we found Josh doing something extremely unusual. Working methodically, he would reach into his favorite blue fanny pack, pull something out by the fistful, and throw it among our mother’s impatiens. The angle at which we were watching Josh do this didn’t allow us a good view of what exactly he was sowing with such devoted intensity, but we eventually let it be, and Josh continued this behavior for a matter of weeks. Some time later, my mom was doing some garden work, but then came back inside after a while. She wanted to show us something. We followed her outside to where she had been cutting aside some of the growth, and there, among the clippings and disturbed dirt, were several hundred assorted coins scattered around. Well, we now knew exactly what Josh’s strange little ritual was (I was a little slow on the uptake and briefly entertained flighty fantasies of buried backyard treasure), and couldn’t wait to hear what the reasoning behind it was. Turns out my brother didn’t believe in government and scientific progress and so, to stop those politicians and scientists and engineers from creating more electronic wonders, Josh decided the only way to impoverish them of our money was to throw it into our backyard. He believed that we would thusly break free of our dependence on The Man and become a free, nontotalitarian This is his explanation as best as I can remember it, and pretty much the gist of it. I also remember my parents being pretty floored, though they might have been internally lamenting the fact that the money had come from a loose change jar that we all contributed to on a regular basis for a family movie night in the days when tickets didn’t cost an arm and a leg. Once again, they made my brother promise to not do it again and he stopped throwing money into the garden. A month later, we found that Josh had been swallowing the coins when I found a nickel in the toilet for the fourth time.  Did you know that metal alloys gain a very pretty iridescent sheen to it akin to an acid bath after going through the digestive system? 
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Oct 10, 2012 02:06
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I had to read it out loud to my mother. I love when little kids fight The Man through (unbeknownst to them) ridiculously inefficient and ineffective means.
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Oct 10, 2012 02:27
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Oh I've been waiting to hear your stuff. Please, never stop.
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Oct 10, 2012 02:30
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kinmik posted:Did you know that metal alloys gain a very pretty iridescent sheen to it akin to an acid bath after going through the digestive system? 
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Oct 10, 2012 13:41
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sweeperbravo posted:I had to read it out loud to my mother. I love when little kids fight The Man through (unbeknownst to them) ridiculously inefficient and ineffective means. It just makes me sad. No one is teaching them how to do it properly.
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Oct 10, 2012 14:00
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Give this kid one thing, I wasn't even aware of the "man" when I was that age;)
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Oct 10, 2012 14:27
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My parents took me on protest marches when I was 5. I helped paint their banners!  You weren't aware of the concept of The Man, but most small children have rebellious notions against authority, and often can be for reasons more valid than 'I want cookies and cannot have the cookies'. It's either brushed off as 'so dumb it's cute', or it's stamped out. It's kinda depressing. That story was pretty insane though. I was a greedy little fucker when I was that age. I remember announcing to my family that my hobby was now to collect money, so they should give lots of money to me. e: it did not work
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Oct 10, 2012 15:09
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Well if this isn't just the best thread for this. I have a friend I have known a few years who was basically like a close brother for most of those due to how well we got along, shared interests etc. Lets call him Jeremy. Jeremy and I hang out 3-4 times a week, going drinking, playing video games, the usual for 20 somethings. Jeremy has Great success with the ladies, better than me, and I felt like I always did alright for myself. Then Jeremy meets Jessica. She is a friend of mine who is not only incredibly gorgeous, but is also pretty personable. Jeremy has never ever hung out with Jessica, but over the course of a year or so of us seeing her out, visiting her at work (a bar) occasionally, builds her up in his mind as The Most Perfect Girl Ever. They haven't ever hung out together, been on a date, exchanged numbers or anything, but he is convinced she is the girl for him. One night we are at the bar she works at, and he drunkenly professes his love to her. She is unsurprisingly taken aback, I try to ease things by saying he is just drunk etc. Jeremy seemingly is traumatized. He hits bottom. He starts being odd when I call him. He sits me down one night and tells me he has something serious to tell me. Figuring he was suicidal over this or has had a breakdown, I agree. He then tell me he is a vampire, he is unsure as to how long he has been alive how many people he has killed or why he hasn't changed anyone. I just kind of go along with it to make sure he isn't thinking about killing himself. A year or two passes and there's never another mention of this. I still see him occasionally, and he has never mentioned it ever again, though it still weirds me out every time him and I hang out.
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Oct 10, 2012 15:23
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| # ? Jun 3, 2024 23:38 |
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Maybe he meant he was an emotional vampire and was really convicted to the metaphor?
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Oct 10, 2012 21:46
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