rotor posted:

man if we cant sperge out for two pages about transactions then i dont even know why we have a yospos

shrughes posted:

I come to this thread to forget about work, not talk about work

0xB16B00B5 posted:

PHP is your teenage sweetheart, the girl you first awkwardly fumbled around with that one summer. Just don't try and start a more serious relationship - this girl has serious issues.

Perl is PHP's older sister. She might be a bit old for you, but she was pretty popular back in the 90s. She's looking pretty ugly and scarred now, so you don't hear from her too much.

Ruby is the cool kid of the scripting family. When you first saw her, she took your breath away with her beauty. She was fun, too. At the time she seemed a bit slow and ditzy - though she's matured a lot in the last few years.

Python is Ruby's sensible (and slightly more boring) sister.

Java is a successful career woman. What she lacks in raw intelligence she makes up for in dress - always turned out in immaculateCamelCase, sure to impress the enterprise customers. You might feel like she's the sensible type you should settle down with. Just prepare for years of "NO THAT DOESNT GO THERE GOD YOU ALWAYS USE THE WRONG TYPE AND YOU MISSED A SEMICOLON" nagging.

C++ is Java's cousin. Similar to Java in many ways, the main difference being she grew up in a more innocent time and doesn't believe in condoms/automatic memory management, so be cautious.

C is C++'s mom. Mention her name to some old grey beard hackers and they're sure to reminisce with a twinkle in their eye.

Objective C is another member of the C family. She joined that weird church a while back, and won't date anyone outside of it.

Haskell, Clojure, Scheme and their friends are those hipster, artsy, intellectual girls you probably spent a blissful college summer with a few years ago. The first girls who really challenged you. Of course, it could never have become something more serious (you tell yourself). Though you'll always be left asking "what if?"

You might be put off C# due to her family's reputation. But they've gone legit, the last few years, they tell you. Once you're one of us, you're one of us, you hear? You need a database? Her brother MSSQL will hook you up. Need a place to stay? Heck, her daddy will even buy you your own mansion on Azure avenue. What's that, you're having second thoughts about all these overly friendly relatives? No, you can never leave. You're part of the family, now, ya hear?

Javascript - hey, wasn't that the girl you first kissed, way before even PHP came on the scene? I wonder what she's doing now. I hear her career's really taken off in the last few years. Would be cool to catch up some time, if only for old time's sake... (You catch sight of her, dressed head to toe in designer jQuery)... wow, somebody grew into a beautiful swan...

Tiny Bug Child posted:

yeah i guess it would be nice if i automatically stripped out the accents and umlauts and other floating letter doodads, but c'mon, you can't seriously expect an english site that has never been promoted in chinese in any way to work when you put chinese characters into it

tef posted:

yes but which language has big tits????

Cocoa Crispies posted:

yeah exactly

split up the data storage and the data processing responsibilities into independent services so you can scale horizontally easier

∴ stored procedures are a relic and shouldn't be used

tef posted:

not if you wrote it.

quote:

Postgres 9.1 - Release Theme
Following a great deal of discussion, I'm pleased to announce that the PostgreSQL Core team has decided that the major theme for the 9.1 release, due in 2011, will be 'NoSQL'.

There is a growing trend towards NoSQL databases, with major sites like Twitter and Facebook utilising them extensively. NoSQL databases often include multi-master replication, clustering and failover features that have long been requested in PostgresSQL, but have been extremely difficult to implement with SQL which has prevented us from advancing Postgree in the way that we'd like.

To address this, the intention is to remove SQL support from Postgres, and replace it with a language called 'QUEL'. This will provide us with the flexibility we need to implement the features of modern NoSQL databases. With no SQL support there will obviously be some differences in the query syntax that must be used to access your data. For example, the query:

select (e.salary/ (e.age - 18)) as comp from employee as e where e.name = "Jones"

would be rewritten as:

range of e is employee retrieve (comp = e.salary/ (e.age - 18)) where e.name = "Jones"

Aggregate syntax in QUEL is particularly powerful. For example, the query:

select dept,
avg(salary) as avg_salary,
sum(salary) as tot_salary
from
employees
group by
dept

may be written as:

range of e is employee
retrieve (e.dept,
avg_salary = avg(e.salary by e.dept),
tot_salary = sum(e.salary by e.dept)
)

Note that the grouped column can be specified for each individual aggregate.

We will be producing a comprehensive guide to the QUEL syntax to aid with application migration. We appreciate the difficulty that this change may cause some users, but feel we must embrace the NoSQL philosophy in order to remain "The world's most advanced Open Source
database"

"There's no question that, at 21 years old, the SQL standard is past its prime," said core developer and standards expert Peter Eisentraut. "It's time for us to switch to something fresher. I personally would have preferred XSLT, but QUEL is almost as good."

Project committer Heikki Linnakangas added: "By replacing SQL with QUEL not only will will be able to add new features to Postgres that were previously too difficult, but we'll also increase user loyalty as it'll be much harder for them to change to a different, SQL-based
database. That'll be pretty cool."

You may also notice that without SQL, the project name is somewhat misleading. To address that, the project name will be changed to 'PostgreQUEL' with the 9.1 release. We expect this will also put an end to the periodic debates on changing the project name.

Dave Page

Shaggar posted:

this is wrong though cause stored procs offer better performance, maintenance, and security than direct data access

Spooky Mission posted:

which ever one you're using right now

Shaggar posted:

its not java specific. most devs have no idea how to use databases properly.

tef posted:

yes but which language has big tits????

tef posted:

i mean some of them don't even understands what happens when you have a database across machines, or how transactions work at scale.

Otto Skorzeny posted:

pro name+av switchup

Otto Skorzeny posted:

pro name+av switchup

Star War Sex Parrot posted:

he's got a better parachute

Cocoa Crispies posted:

OBAMA BIN LOADIN posted:

tbf i've only started learning this stuff because my new job is basically all database stuff. you don't really get that from some uni education, and they're not the most exciting things to learn about in your spare time either.

Tiny Bug Child posted:

yeah i guess it would be nice if i automatically stripped out the accents and umlauts and other floating letter doodads, but c'mon, you can't seriously expect an english site that has never been promoted in chinese in any way to work when you put chinese characters into it

wins32767 posted:

You do realize that e and é aren't the same letter, right Teny Bog Cheld?

wins32767 posted:

You do realize that e and é aren't the same letter, right Teny Bog Cheld?

Tiny Dug Chilb posted:

yeah they are. i don't really care about the little line on top

wins32767 posted:

You do realize that e and é aren't the same letter, right Teny Bog Cheld?

Hard NOP Life posted:

I thought they were considered the same letter for sorting and poo poo

tef posted:

let's go back to making fun of weenie languages

i found a ruby to javasript converter and it's been fun to see them coming to terms with ruby's grammar and semantics.

OBAMA BIN LOADIN posted:

its u

vapid cutlery posted:

like it seems there are an endless supply of stupid pieces of poo poo that "compile" things to javascript

Gazpacho posted:

what else are you gonna do, actually write js? lmao

yaoi prophet posted:

coffeescript is decent, never used any of the other js '''''transpilers'''''