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MassRafTer
May 26, 2001

BAEST MODE!!!

Saul Goode posted:

I didn't say he was a bad worker. Cena is a pretty decent worker who is absolutely appalling at almost every other aspect of being a wrestler, which makes him overall a lovely wrestler.

Can he sell a feud? No, it's always the same thing. Smirking jackass who takes nothing seriously and won't change at all if he wins or loses. Loser leaves town match? Doesn't matter, won't sell it. Gets the poo poo beaten out of him by Brock Lesnar? Doesn't matter, won't sell it. Fights the Rock in an epic Wrestlemania Main Event? Doesn't matter, won't sell it. Every opponent is a joke, every match is ultimately meaningless. The entire roster is a pack of chumps compared to Cena, he knows it and the audience have been trained to believe it. Whoever's got Cena's title is just keeping it warm until he wants it again.

How many guys has Cena made? Umaga and.... uhh... uhh... almost ten years on top and he's made less stars than Hulk Hogan.

How many memorable promos has Cena cut? There was that time he... that time he... oh, I think he called someone a doodyhead once. And he smirked a lot. Steve Austin and The Rock's combined main event runs were less than the length of time Cena has been main eventing, and what has he got to show for it? How many clips of "classic" Cena promos will be bookmarked on YouTube in years to come? As many as Austin, The Rock, Hogan, Flair, Dusty Rhodes, HBK, any number of other top level guys you'd care to mention? Not a chance.

John Cena is a blight on the wrestling industry and he can be as much of a nice guy as he wants outside the ring, but it doesn't change the fact that he is one of the worst things to ever happen to professional wrestling.

If anyone made anyone, Cena made Umaga, Edge and Punk. Feuding with and beating Cena elevated all three to main event status.

Memorable promos? He did a fantastic one the night Jerry Lawler had his heart attack that I remember despite it happening the night Jerry Lawler had a heart attack. That was less than two months ago.

As for the rest, that's the way the guy is booked. Hard to blame someone when the company wants him to be a certain character and not show weakness.

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oldpainless
Oct 30, 2009

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Good points in defense of Cena, MRP.

Or should I say....JOHN CENA???

Suben
Jul 1, 2007

In 1985 Dr. Strange makes a rap album.

MassRayPer posted:

Memorable promos? He did a fantastic one the night Jerry Lawler had his heart attack that I remember despite it happening the night Jerry Lawler had a heart attack. That was less than two months ago.

What was it because I literally don't remember. Cena's promos in the last however many years and especially the last year or so are a blur of paint by numbers "RESPECT! I DO THIS FOR THE WWE UNIVERSE!" shouty promos mixed with Cena being insufferably smug. The only one that really stands out is the "go puck yourself" promo against Laurinaitis and that's only because of how awful it was especially coming like an hour after Laurinaitis humiliating and firing Big Show and Cena coming out to be Goofy Joke Man instead of coming out earlier to try and help his supposed friend.

MassRafTer
May 26, 2001

BAEST MODE!!!

Suben posted:

What was it because I literally don't remember. Cena's promos in the last however many years and especially the last year or so are a blur of paint by numbers "RESPECT! I DO THIS FOR THE WWE UNIVERSE!" shouty promos mixed with Cena being insufferably smug. The only one that really stands out is the "go puck yourself" promo against Laurinaitis and that's only because of how awful it was especially coming like an hour after Laurinaitis humiliating and firing Big Show and Cena coming out to be Goofy Joke Man instead of coming out earlier to try and help his supposed friend.

I'm going to move this conversation to the WWE thread.

sexpig by night
Sep 8, 2011

by Azathoth
Cena can cut a decent promo but he'd be even better if they'd just go back to booking him as a tweener who usually does the right thing instead of making him not just a babyface, but THE babyface, a shining moral light who can do no wrong.

Like, he's perfectly able to be a big doofy guy who's main priority is doing good by his friends, which can sometimes lead to him on the wrong side of fights but all in all a pretty good dude. That's what he was for a good few years, the biggest problem he has is booking and despite what some people seem to think he really can't do a ton about that.

El Gallinero Gros
Mar 17, 2010
Cena's promos during the first Punk feud helped sell the thing. He was the perfect foil to elevate Punk.

Chris James 2
Aug 9, 2012


AKATheMaskedMan posted:

Commitment. MT @brandonlieblich: punk waited until there were 10 fans left in the arena to move an inch from the top of the cell.

Paper Jam Dipper
Jul 14, 2007

by XyloJW
First time he has slept in months.

Gavok
Oct 10, 2005

Brock! Oh, man, I'm sorry about your...

...tooth?


He was waiting for someone to say, "Sir, can you please get off that cage so we can take the ring apart?"

Gonzo McFee
Jun 19, 2010

Rowdy Roddy Piper posted:

I always try to find the positive in every thing. For Hogans Sex tape...At least he wasn't with Brutus!! I'm going to lay off now.

Gyro Zeppeli
Jul 19, 2012

sure hope no-one throws me off a bridge


drat, Rod.

:iceburn:

njsykora
Jan 23, 2012

Robots confuse squirrels.


Roddy was going nuts on the Hogan tape earlier, it was hilarious.

apsouthern
May 24, 2007

Chain Gang Soldier
Bobby Lashley's ex Kristal seems to be going the always advisable "air your grievances on twitter route"

quote:

@fightbobby I work 2 jobs to make up for the child support not being received. My back is against the wall. Im gonna have to sign over my

rights because u won't contribute. I love my kids not u. Its not fair the position u put me in

Karma is gonna gently caress u up and I'm gonna watch.

u took everything from me I worked hard for This is the only way I know how to break free from your controlling ways

in the end my kids will know the truth. U will never break our bond

triplexpac
Mar 24, 2007

Suck it
Two tears in a bucket
And then another thing
I'm not the one they'll try their luck with
Hit hard like brass knuckles
See your face through the turnbuckle dude
I got no love for you
Wait how is Kharma involved in all of this???

Paper Jam Dipper
Jul 14, 2007

by XyloJW
"u took everything from me i worked hard for"

Wait, I thought Lashley quit the WWE for her and not the other way around?

Suben
Jul 1, 2007

In 1985 Dr. Strange makes a rap album.

Paper Jam Dipper posted:

"u took everything from me i worked hard for"

Wait, I thought Lashley quit the WWE for her and not the other way around?

I'm assuming it has to do with things other than quitting WWE. Especially if he (like she's saying) isn't paying child support while she has to work multiple jobs.

Big Coffin Hunter
Aug 13, 2005

Paper Jam Dipper posted:

"u took everything from me i worked hard for"

Wait, I thought Lashley quit the WWE for her and not the other way around?

Lashley left because "creative has nothing for you" when he came back from injury.

Perigryn
Oct 22, 2010

TaJaaaaadoruuuuu

Suben posted:

I'm assuming it has to do with things other than quitting WWE. Especially if he (like she's saying) isn't paying child support while she has to work multiple jobs.
He worked multiple jobs too...

granted, it was doing MMA and TNA at the same time but still...

Tato
Jun 19, 2001

DIRECTIVE 236: Promote pro-social values
The greatest thing Lashley ever did was feud with Simon Dean. I desperately want that feud to be recreated with Ryback so he can eat the platter of burgers rather than ominously glaring at it.

Big Coffin Hunter
Aug 13, 2005

Tato posted:

The greatest thing Lashley ever did was feud with Simon Dean. I desperately want that feud to be recreated with Ryback so he can eat the platter of burgers rather than ominously glaring at it.

Loser has to eat a dozen burgers. It's a regular Ryback match, but after the Shellshock, Ryback lays down and pulls his opponent over him, then just goes face first into the plate of burgers and starts eating.

Perigryn
Oct 22, 2010

TaJaaaaadoruuuuu

Kurt Angle posted:

WWE production team using @EBischoff's innovative multi-camera backstage filming technique with OneManBand segment?"

"Staged "affair" between AJ Lee & @JohnCena, w/date pic & hotel video? WWE outright lifting TNA concepts?"

Wojtek
Oct 17, 2008
Oh Kurt never change.

Perigryn
Oct 22, 2010

TaJaaaaadoruuuuu

Wojtek posted:

Oh Kurt never change.
He apparently sent a copy of these tweets to Dixie too. What a snitch!

Skinty McEdger
Mar 9, 2008

I have NEVER received the respect I deserve as the leader and founder of The Masterflock, the internet's largest and oldest Christopher Masterpiece fan group in all of history, and I DEMAND that changes. From now on, you will respect Skinty McEdger!

It's knd of amusing considering they lifted the Aries heel turn completely from Punk's.

Paper Jam Dipper
Jul 14, 2007

by XyloJW

Skinty McEdger posted:

It's knd of amusing considering they lifted the Aries heel turn completely from Punk's.

poo poo stealing from poo poo.

achillesforever6
Apr 23, 2012

psst you wanna do a communism?

quote:

Antonio Cesaro ‏@AntonioCesaro
prochain arrêt Strasbourg #USChampion
First response

quote:

alannagel ‏@alannagel2
@AntonioCesaro LOOK YOUR NOT ENTERTAINING AND YOU WONT GET OVER SO STOP TRYING!

Perry Normal
Jul 23, 2010

Humans disgust me. Vile creatures.

Supersonic Shine
Oct 13, 2012

I will never not love the Iron Sheik. He says awful, disgusting things, but I love him all the same.

coconono
Aug 11, 2004

KISS ME KRIS

Supersonic Shine posted:

I will never not love the Iron Sheik. He says awful, disgusting things, but I love him all the same.

He's my dad, you know

El Gallinero Gros
Mar 17, 2010
That explains a lot, actually.

Paper Jam Dipper
Jul 14, 2007

by XyloJW
And now you people know why James Storm shouts.

He sounds like a crying cowboy otherwise.

njsykora
Jan 23, 2012

Robots confuse squirrels.


This isn't funny, but I think it deserves posting.

@TheDrewMcintyre posted:

For those who know me, they are aware I'm not the most emotional person in the world but this is something that as private as it is I want to share with the world because I am so lucky and proud. My mother is currently very ill and if you have the time please send a prayer her way, she has battled through ataxia since her early 20s being told she would never have children to raising my brother and I to the men we are today. She has overcame so many obstacles thrown her way over her life not selling the pain for one moment putting everyone else first including battling through chemo and radiotherapy.
Sitting with her now I can still see fight in her eyes, she is Angela Galloway, my mother and my hero. I wrote this to her when she got sick, again please keep her in your thoughts and prayers.

My Hero

Me hero isn't a singer, nor on tv.

My hero dosent play sports or rally to make the world a better place.

My hero is a warrior, as strong as Atlas and as brave as a soldier in the trenches.

My hero has looked at adversity their entire life and overcame with no doubt in their mind,
NEVER taking heed of others opinions, powering through when others would have simply given up.

My hero inspires me when I think I can't handle what life throws at me.

My hero is my mum and no matter where I travel or who I meet there isn't a person on earth like her

:smith:

SamuraiFoochs
Jan 16, 2007




Grimey Drawer

njsykora posted:

This isn't funny, but I think it deserves posting.


:smith:

Drew :smith:

TwoDogs1Cup
May 28, 2008

DOUGIE DOUGIE DOUGIE! MY LOVE, HE MAKES MY EMPTY HEART FULL! DOUGIE! THE BEST FOREVER THE BEST DOUGIEEE! <3 <3 - TwoDougies1Cup
God drat :(

EyeRChris
Mar 3, 2010

Intergalactic, all-planetary, everything super-supreme champion
He looks so happy in 3MB but the pain behind his eyes. drat Drew :ohdear:

Ragnarok the Red
Jun 21, 2002

njsykora posted:

This isn't funny, but I think it deserves posting.


:smith:

Oh Drew :(

njsykora
Jan 23, 2012

Robots confuse squirrels.


To cheer us up, here's a great man.

@AntonioCesaro posted:

“I rather be a fat power ranger than a Swedish cabbage eater” I’m Swiss. Obesity is not the only problem in America, education is one too

“@MarkBunting96: @AntonioCesaro YOUR BRITTISH ACCENT WAS TERRIBLE #RAWWORLDTOUR” that’s because the British accent IS terrible.

“Why u so stupid???” Unable to spell but calling other people stupid. I’m laughing from my high horse

“How can you call yourself the US Champ, if you don’t love America? You’re a communist!” Please don’t use words you don’t understand

Antonio...:allears:

Bocc Kob
Oct 26, 2010
Is he supposed to be a heel or the best face ever?

Gyro Zeppeli
Jul 19, 2012

sure hope no-one throws me off a bridge

njsykora posted:

To cheer us up, here's a great man.


Antonio...:allears:

Every single one of these is a pure :iceburn:

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BizarroAzrael
Apr 6, 2006

"That must weigh heavily on your soul. Let me purge it for you."

njsykora posted:

To cheer us up, here's a great man.


Antonio...:allears:

Where did the fat Power Ranger comment come from? Was someone talking about Matt Hardy?

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