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Chronojam posted:Does three voicemails mean three inboxes or something, or literally three saved messages? Three saved messages. You get one and when you check it you get the "Your voicemail is almost full!" message. I upgraded to 10 messages when work started paying for my phone. For 10 dollars a month, I get caller ID and 7 extra voice mail messages! When people say cell phone plans suck in Canada, they ain't kidding.
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Nov 1, 2012 23:18
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As far as I can tell my phone downloads and stores voicemail locally, so there's no real imposed storage limit.
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tuyop posted:I keep deleting and rewriting my erotic fiction because I hate it, as well. Being a writer is tough to get started. I write all the time but that's what most of my job centres around writing and editing. Make sure you check the 50 shades of green thread or have a look at free example works as they are terrible and simplistic. I wouldn't get too precious about the quality of the content. I wanted to get into writing and releasing some ebooks but then I got really busy at work so I've had no time. You can get back to it when things settle down.
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Nov 2, 2012 03:30
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tuyop posted:I keep deleting and rewriting my erotic fiction because I hate it, as well. Does it involve a chance encounter with a horny gay warewolf on a tank road deep in the Canadian wilderness?
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Nov 2, 2012 21:02
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zeta taskforce posted:Does it involve a chance encounter with a horny gay warewolf on a tank road deep in the Canadian wilderness? Ok, well here's the outline that I've been working with: Michael Parry is the classic gay fiction protagonist (he likes sports and has no chest hair and also has really big feet for some reason). He is a confirmed bachelor who has never really had a great relationship with women. But he's not one of those queers! One day Mike is hunting in the woods. He has a few too many and falls asleep against a tree. Night falls, Mike wakes up to the sound of cracking branches close to him, and a faint, distinct, seminal and seductive musk. He gets graphically – and, (guiltily), pleasantly – butt raped by a werewolf. The wolf bites him and deposits its demon seed and then goes off to do other stuff. Mike falls into unconsciousness and later writes the whole thing off as a bad dream. His butt hurts from the cold ground. Right? Right. Later, at his university football practice, Mike eventually – again, graphically – begins noticing the other men in the locker room. As the full moon approaches, he starts noticing changes in his appetites. Eventually he turns into a gay werewolf himself and rapes a particularly hunky, but in-denial homosexual football player. poo poo writes itself but I can't stand the dialogue that I write. And I have episodes where I tend to delete things I've written in a rage. I deleted like 30 pages of orders this week because I loving hated them.
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Nov 3, 2012 00:23
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So homophobic rapist protagonists with big feet are "classic?" The world of erotica ebooks sounds unhinged.
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Nov 3, 2012 00:26
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So I guess I was right?
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Nov 3, 2012 00:34
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Also, yes.
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Nov 3, 2012 00:47
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You should watch Teen Wolf. It'll help you write something, I'm sure.
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Nov 3, 2012 00:49
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tuyop posted:Ok, well here's the outline that I've been working with: I like where this is going.
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Nov 3, 2012 00:59
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The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask / Tell > Business, Finance, and Careers > Tuyop: the classic gay fiction protagonist
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Nov 3, 2012 01:22
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Write about what you know. Maybe an sad closeted army man who's injured but the wearwolf rape turns him into a gay-fighting-loving-force.
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Nov 3, 2012 01:37
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Dusseldorf posted:Write about what you know. Maybe an sad closeted army man who's injured but the wearwolf rape turns him into a gay-fighting-loving-force. "And then Mike rammed CBI 201.11(a) right up his limp, pock-marked rear end. 'Oh yeah, that's my kind of relocation benefit!' The chief clerk moaned."
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Nov 3, 2012 01:42
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Dusseldorf posted:Write about what you know. Maybe an sad closeted army man who's injured but the wearwolf rape turns him into a gay-fighting-loving-force. Maybe write about a strapping young military man who fell behind on his debts and got a bad back injury on the job. With bills piling up, he has no choice but to turn gay for pay, and happens to find he has a real knack for turning gay tricks. You can call it Broke back mountin'
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Nov 3, 2012 03:44
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CanadianSuperKing posted:Maybe write about a strapping young military man who fell behind on his debts and got a bad back injury on the job. With bills piling up, he has no choice but to turn gay for pay, and happens to find he has a real knack for turning gay tricks. Gonna quote this forever. ahahahahahah
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Nov 3, 2012 03:50
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CanadianSuperKing posted:Maybe write about a strapping young military man who fell behind on his debts and got a bad back injury on the job. With bills piling up, he has no choice but to turn gay for pay, and happens to find he has a real knack for turning gay tricks. That one's free, Tuyop. He might charge you royalties on the next one.
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Nov 3, 2012 05:27
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Chronojam posted:That one's free, Tuyop. He might charge you royalties on the next one. Naw, I think 10% royalties would be fair. You know, we should get some of those fifty shades of green authors to start a series of desperate gay for pay stories and give 50% of the profits to the subjects - zaurg, cornholio, murderknobs... There's tons of potential there!
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Nov 3, 2012 06:22
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Well, that was a risky click.
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Nov 3, 2012 06:23
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CanadianSuperKing posted:Maybe write about a strapping young military man who fell behind on his debts and got a bad back injury on the job. With bills piling up, he has no choice but to turn gay for pay, and happens to find he has a real knack for turning gay tricks. Yessss. I like where this is going even more, hahahaha.
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Nov 3, 2012 08:42
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CanadianSuperKing posted:Maybe write about a strapping young military man who fell behind on his debts and got a bad back injury on the job. With bills piling up, he has no choice but to turn gay for pay, and happens to find he has a real knack for turning gay tricks. Good lord, that is clever!
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Nov 3, 2012 09:13
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Wait, do people buy straight, normal person erotica? Edit: Toeshoes and I are also helping a friend build a 65-square-foot aquaponics farm in his condo. It looks like he can expect a net income of > $515/m2 per year by growing BASIL of all things. We still have that extra bedroom, which has about 125 square feet of possible flat aquaponics growing space... tuyop fucked around with this message at 15:21 on Nov 3, 2012 |
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Nov 3, 2012 14:36
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Not nearly as many as people who buy gay disabled veteran homosexual werewolf porn. Get writing.
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Nov 3, 2012 15:21
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tuyop posted:Wait, do people buy straight, normal person erotica? You just implied gay people aren't normal. Stuff like that in your porn is going to make people return your books. And it's incredibly likely that you didn't even mean it to come out that way. Tuyop, there is a general state of thought from the porn thread that is literally in this same subforum that you should probably follow. Write what turns you on/what you can relate to. You don't have to write a story about gaywolves. Some of the top earners in that thread write about other stuff. I don't even write the stuff and I follow the thread because it's just so damned interesting to see how things go for them from month to month. If you really want to write porn, I can't suggest talking to them about it enough. tuyop posted:Edit: Toeshoes and I are also helping a friend build a 65-square-foot aquaponics farm in his condo. It looks like he can expect a net income of > $515/m2 per year by growing BASIL of all things. We still have that extra bedroom, which has about 125 square feet of possible flat aquaponics growing space... Get flood insurance right now.
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Nov 3, 2012 15:26
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tuyop posted:Wait, do people buy straight, normal person erotica? You sure that's basil?
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Nov 3, 2012 15:56
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Fluffy Bunnies posted:You just implied gay people aren't normal. Stuff like that in your porn is going to make people return your books. And it's incredibly likely that you didn't even mean it to come out that way. Actually I implied that liking homosexual werewolf rape isn't normal. I don't think that people who like that kind of thing are really picky about the definition of normal, but you're right.
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Nov 3, 2012 15:56
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cstine posted:You sure that's basil? I don't think that's basil.
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Nov 3, 2012 16:00
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tuyop posted:Edit: Toeshoes and I are also helping a friend build a 65-square-foot aquaponics farm in his condo. It looks like he can expect a net income of > $515/m2 per year by growing BASIL of all things. We still have that extra bedroom, which has about 125 square feet of possible flat aquaponics growing space... There's no way you can turn a profit growing hydroponic basil in your spare bedroom. The hydro bill will kill you. (Also the OPP raids would get really old really fast) Also 125 square feet is 11.6128 square meters, so assuming you don't have any losses, you'd still turn less of a profit than just renting the room for $500 a month. And you wouldn't have to deal with the humidity destroying everything.
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Nov 3, 2012 16:28
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Hhahhahahhaah basil
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Nov 3, 2012 17:29
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You joke, but have you ever gone shopping for fresh basil? Those guys are cleaning up, man.
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Nov 3, 2012 18:56
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Kathandrion posted:You joke, but have you ever gone shopping for fresh basil? Those guys are cleaning up, man. I buy mine in baggies from a guy behind a bar.
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Nov 3, 2012 20:22
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My fresh basil guy delivers.
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Nov 3, 2012 20:25
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FrozenVent posted:There's no way you can turn a profit growing hydroponic basil in your spare bedroom. The hydro bill will kill you. (Also the OPP raids would get really old really fast) These are valid concerns. However, there are three powered parts to the aquaponic system that I'm planning: Air pump, water pump, lights. The pumps that I'm looking at use 30W combined, or half a 60W incandescent lightbulb. I want to try a smaller system first, which uses even less power. (This is about 2 dollars a month unless my math is totally hosed) The actual lights are another problem though. If I use 600W of grow lights for this basil (I'm serious guys, actual basil. The aromatic herb!!!) for 16 hours a day it'll be about 29 dollars a month at high tier (peak) costs. So we're looking at Maths: Electricity cost: 11.8 cents/kwh (for argument's sake, the lights would be run in off-peak hours only) Lights: 600W (who knows, just guessing, for argument's sake) Used for 18 hours/day 31 days/month 600W*18h=10800w/h 10800/1000=10.8kwh per day 10.8kwh * 31 days/month = 334.8kwh/month 334.8 * 10.8c = 3615.84c/month = $36.18 for lights. Add 10% of that for powering the pumps, so I can expect to pay about $40/month in power for this aquaponic operation FOR GROWING THE BASIL. It seems like I can't populate that room for more than 400/month. The room is 131.25 square feet. I can probably only reasonably use 100 square feet of that for growing BASIL. So that's like 9.3 square meters. BASIL can be sold for $22/kg in the virgin islands, for instance. We can expect to produce 25kg/m2 per year, then we're talking 2.08kg/m2 per month or 19.375kg/month of basil. 19.375kg/month * $22/kg = $426.25/month of BASIL sales. Or $386.25 net (426.25-40 in energy costs not including fish food, seeds, fish, or materials). So in order to break even by replacing a roommate with an aquaponic farm in my spare bedroom, I basically have to sell some crop for >$24/kg/month and produce about 19kg of that crop. Think like strawberries as well or something. This is assuming that I pay for all power that goes into the farm, currently I pay a flat $60 for heat and electricity. The neighbours grow marijuana (medicinal!) so they may not notice an additional $40 bucks from my BASIL operation. This is also assuming only one layer of horizontal growing. I can easily double up the grow surface by stacking the growing troughs and produce twice as much BASIL for only $40 more electricity in lighting and pumps/month. I really don't know how saturated the fresh BASIL market is in this area. I don't know how much the fish will eat or what that food costs. I don't know how much fuel will cost to ship my BASIL to customers. I do know that I can market this as 100% organic, locally grown basil in the dead of winter. Flooding is mitigated by either doubling the capacity of the fish tank (water drains from the troughs to the fish tank by gravity, so if you lose pump power flooding is a real concern) or having an emergency spill pan in critical areas. I don't know how bad the humidity would be or how to manage that, so that's also a valid concern. tuyop fucked around with this message at 20:48 on Nov 3, 2012 |
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Nov 3, 2012 20:45
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Our apartment will smell awesome too.
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Nov 3, 2012 20:59
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tuyop posted:19.375kg/month * $22/kg = $426.25/month of BASIL sales. Or $386.25 net (426.25-40 in energy costs not including fish food, seeds, fish, or materials). You forgot equipment purchase and debt service of same, along with maintenance. Personally, I'd drop the BASIL idea and get a roommate. Seriously.
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Nov 3, 2012 21:00
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tuyop posted:These are valid concerns. If you don't know anything about your market then it doesn't matter how economical the production of basil is. You've been talking about profit without even knowing anything about basil except your costs. What is the existing supply? Is there demand? What kind of business model would you sell your basil under? What are the costs of that model? This idea can't even be called half-assed. Quarter-assed as best.
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Nov 3, 2012 21:02
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Hydroponic systems can be finicky to get setup right, have the risk of leakage which being you should concern you quite a lot, plus if you accidentally poison them with too much of a nutrient they can die extremely quickly before you can notice and take action. It would be a large expense with unknown profits, big risks, and you'd also have to haul around all the hydroponics gear and lights if you ever moved, and if I recall your car was already stuffed pretty full. Your buddy who is doing this who can manage to pull a profit growing "BASIL" is probably only able to do so because of a good deal of experience and hydroponic knowledge, which you don't have. Bottom line - if you want to do this, good for you! Growing plants is fun and therapeutic, I love seeing how they progress and grow bigger and bigger, and I'm sure you would end up growing all kinds of things :3 It'll just take quite a lot of knowledge and know-how to be able to cut down the risks to the point where you'd be able to guarantee a profit. If you're serious, start researching more about hydroponics, what color temperatures basil grows under best, upfront costs of such a setup, etc. This would be an intensive endeavor, and I'm not sure that you have the time to devote to a project like this.
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Nov 3, 2012 21:12
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You are talking about starting a business. It takes capital to start a business. You have no capital and in fact are massively in debt. You cannot start a business. Especially not an agriculture business that requires up-front equipment costs, is at the mercy of volatile markets, and has taxes you have no idea about. Do you imagine that local supermarkets and restaurants buy fresh basil from "some guy who grows it in a spare bedroom"? Even if they do, is your mafia boss landlord going to be pleased about this? How about the government? Is your house zoned for agriculture? What are you going to do when your basil-growing operation is invaded by pests? What will you do if there's a problem that wipes out a crop? You're talking about like $30 a month "profit" over renting the room, but you haven't accounted at all for your own labor (hint: you're paying yourself vastly less than minimum wage and would literally be better off selling bags of oranges at the side of an intersection in Guatamala), taxes, equipment, regulation, insurance, agricultural waste disposal, humidity, and whatever else I can't think up off the top of my head in two minutes of rational consideration. The biggest problem I have with this is it's yet another one of your poorly-thought-out wild ideas. The fact you (and Twoshoes!) seem to be seriously considering this idea really highlights how bad you guys are at making good decisions in general. You need to sit down with each other and have a series of really careful conversations about why you're so easily caught up in idiotic schemes at the spur of the moment. Whether that's suddenly taking a road trip, buying a bicycle and fancy bike shoes for commuting 50 miles in the Canadian winter, or converting your spare room to aquaculture... you've got a problem and you need to work on it.
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Nov 3, 2012 21:24
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My point of view on this is to make a small counter top aquaponics, growing basil. And then we can troubleshoot easily how to take care of it, see how much time we spend taking care of it and if we enjoy growing it. We'll look into the market of selling basil over time. I don't want to turn our spare bedroom into an aquaponics herb room. I'm sure there are unforeseeable problems that would arise even if we use the counter top herbs as a gateway to the bedroom. I really can't see it going past the counter top unless some miracle happens.
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Nov 3, 2012 21:39
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ToeShoes posted:My point of view on this is to make a small counter top aquaponics, growing basil. And then we can troubleshoot easily how to take care of it, see how much time we spend taking care of it and if we enjoy growing it. Buy a window box and grow herbs there and use them for cooking and fun. You'll probably end up better off financially and not have a house that looks like a golden showers fetishish's dream.
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Nov 3, 2012 21:45
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spog posted:Buy a window box and grow herbs there and use them for cooking and fun. I don't see your problem with our tiny little experiment. It doesn't cost a lot money to make a small aquaponics herb thingy. I think it will be fun, it's different than the usual, and plus it would be cool to see how well it works. It might cost the exact same too. We went to home hardware yesterday to scope out pricing for supplies for our friends aquaponics garden, and it's not really expensive. I would say $50 for the initial payment for our countertop experiment.
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Nov 3, 2012 21:56
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ToeShoes posted:I don't see your problem with our tiny little experiment. It doesn't cost a lot money to make a small aquaponics herb thingy. I think it will be fun, it's different than the usual, and plus it would be cool to see how well it works. It might cost the exact same too. Yeah fair enough - I'm probably grumpy because Tuyop's been posting all kinds of sensible advice in the other thread and now comes up with the idea of turning a room into a grow-op. it's a bit disappointing. Have fun. Don't spend a lot and don't expect to sell anything. As hobbies go, it's no worse that goldfish, I suppose, and probably tastes better than golden sushi.
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Nov 3, 2012 22:00
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