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fat gay nonce
May 13, 2003
actual penis length: |-----------|



Winner, PWM POTM January
it's a Jay Z song

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Eric Cantonese
Dec 21, 2004

You should hear my accent.

Guesstimate Crohns posted:

it's a Jay Z song

I don't think books and rhymes have taken Suarez all around the world, though.

Byolante
Mar 23, 2008

by Cyrano4747

TyChan posted:

I don't think books and rhymes have taken Suarez all around the world, though.

Well he did that promotional tour with Geert Wilders and Skrewdriver

Xabi
Jan 21, 2006

Inventor of the Marmite pasty

Byolante posted:

Well he did that promotional tour with Geert Wilders and Skrewdriver

EvilHawk
Sep 15, 2009

LIVARPOOL!

Klopp's 13pts clear thanks to video ref

quote:

On a positive note, anyone who just watched the Manchester City match will have seen how desperate the fa/refs/whoever are that Manchester City and chelsea don't catch utd- once again they had to play 13 (14 if you include the bent linesman) men. I know they don't like us much but this might be the one time that the team we're playing against might be hated even more than us!

The clash of the FA conspiracies!

Grainbarn
Jul 2, 2007

What the fuck did I do?

EvilHawk posted:

The clash of the FA conspiracies!

Haha I couldn't wait for all the City fans to bitch about those perfect offside calls. Not disappointed.

Butterfly Valley
Apr 19, 2007

I am a spectacularly bad poster and everyone in the Schadenfreude thread hates my guts.

Grainbarn posted:

Haha I couldn't wait for all the City fans to bitch about those perfect offside calls. Not disappointed.

That wasn't written by a City fan.

PirateBob
Jun 14, 2003

quote:

That brief look of fear from Suarez he must have been thinking, "Did they call offside?"

800 upvotes from the aspie hivemind on Reddit.

Eric Cantonese
Dec 21, 2004

You should hear my accent.


and



Also...

Eric Cantonese fucked around with this message at 07:01 on Nov 13, 2012

Jose
Jul 24, 2007

Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer
Another journalist paid actual money to write about football

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-2232071/England-caps-honour--Jeff-Powell.html

This is the start of the headline

quote:

Until this week, I thought Zaha was a clothes shop

jesus WEP
Oct 17, 2004


no-one knows anything about wilfried zaha
- alan shearer

Paperhouse
Dec 31, 2008

I think
your hair
looks much
better
pushed
over to
one side

Scott Bakula posted:

Another journalist paid actual money to write about football

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-2232071/England-caps-honour--Jeff-Powell.html

This is the start of the headline

quote:

It seems there are England players now who would rather put a baseball cap on backwards

lmao

Babby Thatcher
May 3, 2004

concept by my buddy kyle

Scott Bakula posted:

Another journalist paid actual money to write about football

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-2232071/England-caps-honour--Jeff-Powell.html

This is the start of the headline

this is the guy that said England were wrong to appoint Sven because Sweden has less hours of daylight than us so they must be some sort of primitive cave-people.

you can find lots of genuine interviews with him by searching youtube for 'Rowley Birkin QC' for some reason

Rycalawre
Nov 6, 2009
From RAWK Meltdown, "I reckon Rodgers looks at this site [RAWK] for tips on formations and tactics, and possible players to buy."

EvilHawk
Sep 15, 2009

LIVARPOOL!

Klopp's 13pts clear thanks to video ref

Rycalawre posted:

From RAWK Meltdown, "I reckon Rodgers looks at this site [RAWK] for tips on formations and tactics, and possible players to buy."

To be fair, I think there's probably a couple of managers who do pay attention to their online fans. Obviously they're not going to build a team around what AnfieldLover96 thinks, but it's worth keeping tabs on what the masses thinks.

Eric Cantonese
Dec 21, 2004

You should hear my accent.

EvilHawk posted:

To be fair, I think there's probably a couple of managers who do pay attention to their online fans. Obviously they're not going to build a team around what AnfieldLover96 thinks, but it's worth keeping tabs on what the masses thinks.

It'd be a great excuse for a manager who never cared about squad rotation and youth development. Online forums are fun places to poke around, but they're terrible as far as objective, knowledgeable game analysis goes.

Has there been a case where a manager has actually gone to a fan forum and talked to other posters?

Gigi Galli
Sep 19, 2003

and then the car turned in to fire

TyChan posted:

It'd be a great excuse for a manager who never cared about squad rotation and youth development. Online forums are fun places to poke around, but they're terrible as far as objective, knowledgeable game analysis goes.

Has there been a case where a manager has actually gone to a fan forum and talked to other posters?

I'm not sure about internet forums, but ultras, the manager and team captains meet all the time in Italy. I think it's mostly a way to curb violence and to prevent idiocy more than a tactical thing.

Also this

quote:

This is final word for bonera: gently caress idiot bonera= boner=bonerro!!! Enough!!! I won't write anything in this topic. Toni rape him tonight. Cant believe that idiot allegri think bonera is first choice in our defender!!! I swear i will never mention bonera again

Rycalawre
Nov 6, 2009

I don't think you're supposed to quote yourself in this thread.

Gigi Galli
Sep 19, 2003

and then the car turned in to fire

Rycalawre posted:

I don't think you're supposed to quote yourself in this thread.

I'd like to think I convey my thoughts better even if we have identical sentiments.

The Finn
Aug 27, 2004

إنه أصلع في الأسفل، كما تعلم
go gently caress yourself please, also there's no way this person doesn't have reams of terrible fanfiction to go along with this

fat gay nonce
May 13, 2003
actual penis length: |-----------|



Winner, PWM POTM January
It looks like they want to have a 3 way with mata which would liven up motd2

belgend
Mar 6, 2008

me when The Club do another win

T. Mascis posted:

go gently caress yourself please, also there's no way this person doesn't have reams of terrible fanfiction to go along with this


After some very intense sex, Daniel and Martin are not done yet with a sleeping Fernando.

Rated: 18+
Categories: English Premier League
Characters: Daniel Agger, Fernando Torres, Martin Škrtel
Genre: PWP, Slash
Language: English


I got a feeling http://notjustagame.net/index.php might fill this thread quite a bit

fat gay nonce
May 13, 2003
actual penis length: |-----------|



Winner, PWM POTM January
actually I want to change my answer to they are singing Charles and Eddie's smash hit Would I Lie to You as a duet.

Modus Trollens
Sep 12, 2010

belgend posted:

After some very intense sex, Daniel and Martin are not done yet with a sleeping Fernando.

Rated: 18+
Categories: English Premier League
Characters: Daniel Agger, Fernando Torres, Martin Škrtel
Genre: PWP, Slash
Language: English


I got a feeling http://notjustagame.net/index.php might fill this thread quite a bit

:psyboom:

This site holy loving poo poo

belgend
Mar 6, 2008

me when The Club do another win

Hi I'm Morgan :). I used to be ballsohardfutbol. I'm 17 & I'm from America. I'm obsessed with soccer (futbol). I make my own edits & I also reblog stuff. My favorite teams are Arsenal, Bayern Munich, Real Madrid, Barcelona, Enlgand, Spain, and Germany. I also love a lot of different players from different teams. It would mean the world if you followed me & I follow back all soccer/futbol blogs. Thanks so much for following me :)

Empress Brosephine
Mar 31, 2012

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

quote:

Stevie pulled the fleece blanket closer and slid down into the seat to find a more comfortable spot. He leans against the headrest, shutting his eyes and letting the motion lull him to sleep.

He felt movement under the blankets but he took no notice of it. He figured Fernando was shuffling to cover himself and Stevie ignore the movement. That was until he felt hands on his thighs. He didn’t open his eyes straight away but he felt himself involuntarily flinch at the touch.

Fernando’s hands wandered, moving to graze lightly over his crotch before delving under the waistband of his track pants. Stevie bit down on his left hand, dropping his forehead to the cool glass. loving bastard. He reached his hand to sink his nails into Fernando’s wrist, while giving a glance to the Spaniard. Fernando had the loving nerve to keep talking to Babel and Stevie glared at him as Babel stuck his earphones back on.

I'm quite turned on

vyelkin
Jan 2, 2011

belgend posted:

After some very intense sex, Daniel and Martin are not done yet with a sleeping Fernando.

Rated: 18+
Categories: English Premier League
Characters: Daniel Agger, Fernando Torres, Martin Škrtel
Genre: PWP, Slash
Language: English


I got a feeling http://notjustagame.net/index.php might fill this thread quite a bit

5 People Who Taught Cristiano Ronaldo About Sex by luxover | ***** [Reviews - 2]
What the title says.

Rated: 16+
Categories: La Liga, English Premier League, SuperLiga
Characters: Cristiano Ronaldo, Kaká, Ricardo Quaresma, Ruud van Nistelrooy
Genre: Het, Slash
Language: English

Wordcount: 2240 - Hits: 3840
Complete?: Yes - Published: Oct 25, 2010 - Last Updated: Oct 25, 2010




A Blue At Heart by lars_carp [Reviews - 0]
John Terry has never felt more alone.

Rated: 12+
Categories: English Premier League
Characters: Frank Lampard, John Terry
Genre: Slash
Language: English

Wordcount: 1203 - Hits: 1403
Complete?: Yes - Published: Jan 15, 2010 - Last Updated: Jan 15, 2010




A Captain’s Welcome by Sophie [Reviews - 0]
You’re the captain, Stevie reminds himself. Go over there and help him to feel welcome.

Rated: 18+
Categories: English Premier League
Characters: Andy Carroll, Steven Gerrard
Genre: PWP, Slash
Language: English

Wordcount: 1224 - Hits: 1233
Complete?: Yes - Published: Feb 17, 2011 - Last Updated: Feb 17, 2011




A Lovely Mess by riyaynwa | ***** [Reviews - 3]
Xabi insults Steven’s cookies. Steven gets angry.

Rated: 6+
Categories: English Premier League
Characters: Steven Gerrard, Xabi Alonso
Genre: Christmas, Slash
Language: English

Wordcount: 884 - Hits: 1708
Complete?: Yes - Published: Jan 13, 2010 - Last Updated: Jan 13, 2010





I can't stop laughing but at the same time going "what the gently caress!? :psyboom: :wtc:"

vyelkin fucked around with this message at 23:22 on Nov 14, 2012

Dunban
Jul 4, 2012

OH MY GOD GLOVER
¡Gracias, Mamá! by txorakeriak [Reviews - 0]
The pink jumper was a present from my mother. She said the colour suited me.

Rated: 0+
Categories: La Liga
Characters: Iker Casillas, Miguel Torres
Genre: Drabble, Slash
Language: English


By the Hands of God by july_v [Reviews - 0]
David owns a pair of keeper gloves.

Rated: 18+
Categories: La Liga
Characters: David Beckham, Iker Casillas
Genre: PWP, Slash
Language: English



Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon by sophiamoon [Reviews - 0]
It’s not you who should be wary of me, my innocent looking beauty, but I of you.

Rated: 6+
Categories: La Liga
Characters: Cristiano Ronaldo, Kaká
Genre: Drabble, Slash
Language: English


Determination by sheep_emilia [Reviews - 0]
Two determined guys. One shower.

Rated: 18+
Categories: La Liga
Characters: Gerard Piqué, Ibrahim Afellay
Genre: PWP, Slash
Language: English


:psyduck:

EvilHawk
Sep 15, 2009

LIVARPOOL!

Klopp's 13pts clear thanks to video ref

vyelkin posted:

A Lovely Mess by riyaynwa | ***** [Reviews - 3]
Xabi insults Steven’s cookies. Steven gets angry.

Rated: 6+
Categories: English Premier League
Characters: Steven Gerrard, Xabi Alonso
Genre: Christmas, Slash
Language: English

Wordcount: 884 - Hits: 1708
Complete?: Yes - Published: Jan 13, 2010 - Last Updated: Jan 13, 2010

Gerrard is well known for loving his cookies. You don't insult them. It's nearly as bad a Phil Collins.

Also I now need to scrub my eyes and my brain. Thanks thread.

PirateBob
Jun 14, 2003

belgend posted:

I got a feeling http://notjustagame.net/index.php might fill this thread quite a bit

No no no no NOO.


There was nothing Cristiano hated more than feeling out of control. That creeping sensation that his life wasn't his own was more than uncomfortable - it was dowright unbearable, and he made drat sure he wouldn’t have to feel it anymore. In his home, on the pitch, wherever he went, he made sure he had as much control as possible.

...

But when Wayne walked in and slowly pulled out his belt, looking him over with that hungry stare that was supposed to frighten him but only made him shiver with anticipation, it didn’t seem wrong. It seemed only right that he’d take off his clothes and let Wayne tie him to his own bed and make him beg until he was so utterly out of control that he writhed and struggled and begged while Wayne slowly touched him and made him yearn for more.

He hated not being in control. But this? This he loved.

PirateBob
Jun 14, 2003

It was only when he felt John’s warm, wet mouth encapsulate his manhood that Frank moaned, and let go. His balls felt like they were on fire, which was unsurprising considering this was the third time in less than an hour. He grunted as he felt John massaging them gently in addition to grazing his teeth against the flesh in his mouth.

Frank’s fingers ran through John’s hair, and then down to feel his well-trained Adam’s apple in action as he swallowed every drop given to him; his trademark grin plastered across his face, aptly like a cat that had got the cream.


:fap:

Ninpo
Aug 6, 2004

by FactsAreUseless
mods rename me well trained adams apple

the sex ghost
Sep 6, 2009

PirateBob posted:


It was only when he felt John’s warm, wet mouth encapsulate his manhood that Frank moaned, and let go. His balls felt like they were on fire, which was unsurprising considering this was the third time in less than an hour. He grunted as he felt John massaging them gently in addition to grazing his teeth against the flesh in his mouth.

Frank’s fingers ran through John’s hair, and then down to feel his well-trained Adam’s apple in action as he swallowed every drop given to him; his trademark grin plastered across his face, aptly like a cat that had got the cream.


:fap:

im dying

Wirth1000
May 12, 2010

#essereFerrari

PirateBob posted:


It was only when he felt John’s warm, wet mouth encapsulate his manhood that Frank moaned, and let go. His balls felt like they were on fire, which was unsurprising considering this was the third time in less than an hour. He grunted as he felt John massaging them gently in addition to grazing his teeth against the flesh in his mouth.

Frank’s fingers ran through John’s hair, and then down to feel his well-trained Adam’s apple in action as he swallowed every drop given to him; his trademark grin plastered across his face, aptly like a cat that had got the cream.


:fap:

Art.

Babby Thatcher
May 3, 2004

concept by my buddy kyle
Coming back home, Steve expects a warm welcome. That’s not exactly what he gets.

Rated: 6+
Categories: General/Unspecified
Characters: Daniel Agger, Steve Finnan
Genre: Slash
Language: English

Wordcount: 184 - Hits: 298
Complete?: Yes - Published: Aug 22, 2011 - Last Updated: Aug 22, 2011

Babby Thatcher
May 3, 2004

concept by my buddy kyle
Set in the future, Arbeloa is an android, a Replicant in the Alonsos' service, tending to their ill son, Xabi. once he develops a conscience and begins discovering his feelings for Xabi, things are bound to get complicated.

Rated: 12+
Categories: General/Unspecified
Characters: Álvaro Arbeloa, Xabi Alonso
Genre: AU, Slash
Language: English

Wordcount: 4988 - Hits: 470
Complete?: Yes - Published: Apr 06, 2011 - Last Updated: Apr 06, 2011

Paperhouse
Dec 31, 2008

I think
your hair
looks much
better
pushed
over to
one side

Babby Thatcher posted:

Set in the future, Arbeloa is an android, a Replicant in the Alonsos' service, tending to their ill son, Xabi. once he develops a conscience and begins discovering his feelings for Xabi, things are bound to get complicated.

Rated: 12+
Categories: General/Unspecified
Characters: Álvaro Arbeloa, Xabi Alonso
Genre: AU, Slash
Language: English

Wordcount: 4988 - Hits: 470
Complete?: Yes - Published: Apr 06, 2011 - Last Updated: Apr 06, 2011

l m a o

Babby Thatcher
May 3, 2004

concept by my buddy kyle

Traces by casi_casi [Reviews - 2]
When corruption no longer shocks, drugs no longer numb, and darkness no longer soothes, men become desperate, reckless extremes of themselves. The secrets behind one man's life falling into another man's hands are revealed, exploited, and overlapped, and it falls to DCI Raúl González to trace the threads.

Rated: 16+
Categories: General/Unspecified
Characters: Andrés Iniesta, Bojan Krkić, Carles Puyol, David Beckham, Fabio Cannavaro, Fernando Gago, Gerard Piqué, Gonzalo Higuaín, Guti, Iker Casillas, Julien Faubert, Lionel Messi, Martín Cáceres, Míchel Salgado, Miguel Torres, Pep Guardiola, Raúl González, Royston Drenthe, Rubén de la Red, Ruud van Nistelrooy, Sergio Ramos, Thierry Henry, Xavi Hernández
Genre: AU, Slash
Language: English

Wordcount: 79392 - Hits: 9590
Complete?: Yes - Published: Feb 17, 2011 - Last Updated: Feb 17, 2011

Paperhouse
Dec 31, 2008

I think
your hair
looks much
better
pushed
over to
one side
To be a Vampire ain't easy by rule, and definitely not by exception.

Rated: 16+
Categories: National Teams
Characters: ?, Michael Ballack, Torsten Frings
Genre: AU, Slash
Language: Deutsch

Wordcount: 6004 - Hits: 398

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Babby Thatcher
May 3, 2004

concept by my buddy kyle
someone on this wretched planet writes julien faubert slash

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