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Der Luftwaffle
Dec 29, 2008
$200. 9 times out of 10, all in $50s - sure hope the bank's still open! :downs:

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raton
Jul 28, 2003

by FactsAreUseless
Used to be 900. 450 if someone didn't do their job and had to split a drawer.

Perdido
Apr 29, 2009

CORY SCHNEIDER IS FAR MORE MENTALLY STABLE THAN LUONGO AND CAN HANDLE THE PRESSURES OF GOALTENDING IN VANCOUVER
$1500


$500 in $20
$500 in $5
$200 in $2
$250 in $1
$50 in quarters

Wizard Mannequin
Oct 20, 2004

I imagine it has probably already been asked somewhere in this huge thread, but what bartending/cocktail/booze/etc blogs would you all recommend? I'm just starting to transition from the kitchen to behind the bar at the sorta punk sorta dive-y bar I work at in Philly and I'm trying to absorb as much information as possible.

Ally McBeal Wiki
Aug 15, 2002

TheFraggot
The old thread here: http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2682759 (requires archives! grrrr must've just happened)

Using the tips and really the mindsets espoused in that thread I've nailed every interview / offer I've ever had in this industry, despite being on paper at the time horribly underqualified. Probably worth the Archives access if you don't already have it.

Otherwise, Bartender's Black Book for the stuff in the first several chapters, and the recipes in back when you need em.

Ashekaban
Aug 30, 2011
Ive usually managed to keep my float about 100 dollars higher then max occupancy, with some restrictions and leeway, and carry nothing but 10's, 5's , Toonies, 1's, Quarters in it.
Jazz club i help out with on weekends occupency is 150, I usually carry 250 in a float.
Bar around here has a 600 occupancy and ill usually go with 700 of a float per bar till at the start, unless something big is rolling through as a concert then i will usually go 200-300 above.

Dirnok
Feb 10, 2005

ubermarcus posted:

I was just curious what size float you guys all keep in the till?
I'm in a hotel that has a lot of functions and weddings, so it happens a few times per week that I'll have 150ish people all insisting on paying with $50 notes, so no matter how perfect my till looks at the start of the shift, it's usually rendered useless within an hour or two.
I currently have $400 and have been told "we can't just make more money appear for a larger float! Where would it come from? Just make sure you stock it properly beforehand!"

$150 in each of the 2-4 bangers, another $750 or $1050 in the change box. Also, I'd never heard the term float prior to this, huh.


Wizard Mannequin posted:

I imagine it has probably already been asked somewhere in this huge thread, but what bartending/cocktail/booze/etc blogs would you all recommend? I'm just starting to transition from the kitchen to behind the bar at the sorta punk sorta dive-y bar I work at in Philly and I'm trying to absorb as much information as possible.

I agree with FaceEater about the old thread. It really is one of the best collections of bartending and bar industry knowledge that I've ever found, online or otherwise.

As for blogs, there isn't much out there. Something about bartending blogs, they pretty much all follow the same path. They start out in the same way, talking about the same things, and after a year or so they fizzle out. There is a lot of good information to be had on some of the dead ones if you're willing to go back a few years and start from their respective beginnings.

That said, a couple that I like that are still active are The Truth About Bartending and Life On A Cocktail Napkin.

raton
Jul 28, 2003

by FactsAreUseless
Top post on Reddit right now:



$3.65, produced with pride in Sierra Leone.

JawKnee
Mar 24, 2007





You'll take the ride to leave this town along that yellow line
Corn, rye, or...?

Haha, a BBF date.

JawKnee fucked around with this message at 06:11 on Nov 10, 2012

SubponticatePoster
Aug 9, 2004

Every day takes figurin' out all over again how to fuckin' live.
Slippery Tilde

JawKnee posted:

Corn, rye, or...?

Haha, a BBF date.
Horse piss, I think.

Ally McBeal Wiki
Aug 15, 2002

TheFraggot

Dirnok posted:


That said, a couple that I like that are still active are The Truth About Bartending and Life On A Cocktail Napkin.

Dude on the Truth About Bartending has a post about girls and credit cards. And gently caress them. gently caress you if you're one of them. Get the gently caress out of my bar. No, I seriously don't want your money because I seriously don't want your god drat attitude when I tell you I have a $10 minimum on a card and you ordered a $7 drink. You're wasting my time, you're wasting everyone else's time, and god damnit, you're going to turn around and try to order another god drat drink in about 35 minutes and pull the same poo poo. Just open a tab you moron. Or really I'm the moron for getting to you before anyone else that may have had cash cause at best there was a chance they wouldn't stiff me, and at least they wouldn't give me some lovely entitled attitude about how they don't want to order another drink now and don't want to do a round with friends.

Got me all riled up cause tonight sucked rear end for that issue.

Also lol horsepiss Arizona Iced Tea jug whiskey. That's not even bottom shelf. That's mixed in with my mop water at the end of the night, and god drat near strips the varnish off it's so good!

nrr
Jan 2, 2007

^ ^ ^ I remember making a post about credit cards on single drinks in the old thread that got shot down by a lot of people, and that was on a $40-$50 minimum. What the gently caress are you doing with a $10 min on credit cards? Do yourself a favor and raise that poo poo to $50 immediately. Point people to the nearest ATM if you have to, and if you work in a busy bar without an ATM then either convince you owners to invest in one, or save up with your other bartenders and buy one yourselves because not only do the things dispense money but they loving print it in high volume bars as well.

* this does of course entirely depend on how painfully archaic your credit card/till system is. My current job it's easier to run a card than it is to make change, it all depends on your system, but if it's tough to run a card, then make it a serious deterrent to do so and train your customers into the way that works best for you because that will result in th getting drinks faster in the long run

Masonity
Dec 31, 2007

What, I wonder, does this hidden face of madness reveal of the makers? These K'Chain Che'Malle?

nrr posted:

^ ^ ^ I remember making a post about credit cards on single drinks in the old thread that got shot down by a lot of people, and that was on a $40-$50 minimum. What the gently caress are you doing with a $10 min on credit cards? Do yourself a favor and raise that poo poo to $50 immediately. Point people to the nearest ATM if you have to, and if you work in a busy bar without an ATM then either convince you owners to invest in one, or save up with your other bartenders and buy one yourselves because not only do the things dispense money but they loving print it in high volume bars as well.

* this does of course entirely depend on how painfully archaic your credit card/till system is. My current job it's easier to run a card than it is to make change, it all depends on your system, but if it's tough to run a card, then make it a serious deterrent to do so and train your customers into the way that works best for you because that will result in th getting drinks faster in the long run

We don't have a minimum, which results in people using cards for a £1.90 half pint.

Thankfully it's not particularly slow unless its a busy night with 6-7 tenders and only 3-4 card machines.

bloody ghost titty
Oct 23, 2008

tHROW SOME D"s ON THAT BIZNATCH
Credit cards are just a fact of life going forwards, so set your minimum wherever the interchange fee fucks you the least vs. a number that is attainable for customers (like two drinks). Let the stupid work themselves out, and ignore the minimum on Friday and Saturday nights if you don't have time to say "normally we ask a $xxty minimum, but since I didn't warn you when you opened your tab, I'll waive it this time". That worked well for me in a high volume situation in Brooklyn, which is still a fairly cash town.

raton
Jul 28, 2003

by FactsAreUseless
Once upon a time I worked in a place with:

1) 30 dollar card minimum without exception
2) Every card required an imprint and to be run electronically (imprints are basically incontestable from the customers end)
3) Non tipping clientele
4) Ability to add a 20% grat to all sales over $30

Take cards all day every day. "Start a tab" "No close it" "30 dollar minimum" "I only want one drink" "Cash then or start a tab." "I don't have cash." "Sorry then." "You gonna waste that drink?" "Yes."

Tabs also required ID.

A coworker had a customer yell at her NUH UH TAKE THAT OFF THERE I DIDN'T ORDER NO 20 GRATUITIES. For realsises.





raton fucked around with this message at 18:02 on Nov 10, 2012

CarverMG
Nov 10, 2012
Worked in a Bar for about 5 years.. We Did a cash only thing.. However Put an atm right next to the bar.. We had a credit limit of 30$+. We made more in tips than the end of the day in sales.. Due to people not wanting to fully break their 20 for a 11$ drink.

nrr
Jan 2, 2007

Vegetable Melange posted:

Credit cards are just a fact of life going forwards, so set your minimum wherever the interchange fee fucks you the least vs. a number that is attainable for customers (like two drinks). Let the stupid work themselves out, and ignore the minimum on Friday and Saturday nights if you don't have time to say "normally we ask a $xxty minimum, but since I didn't warn you when you opened your tab, I'll waive it this time". That worked well for me in a high volume situation in Brooklyn, which is still a fairly cash town.

Well the reason for a minimum is that it takes too long to run cards in your system, so ignoring the minimum on busy nights wouldn't work because thats when you need it most.

When you don't have time to explain things, signs are your friend. Put up a Credit Card Minimum: $XX - ATM next to XXXXX sign and point to that thing all night long. "but, but, but I only want..." *point to sign* *flash big, shiteating grin* "but I don't have any..." *point to sign* *flash big, shiteating grin*

Put it next to the Hooters for Shooters sign and sometimes you can actually see the lightbulb go off in their head, too.

bloody ghost titty
Oct 23, 2008

tHROW SOME D"s ON THAT BIZNATCH

nrr posted:

Well the reason for a minimum is that it takes too long to run cards in your system, so ignoring the minimum on busy nights wouldn't work because thats when you need it most.

Yeah, everywhere I've ever worked that had a minimum had it because of the interchange fees the companys charge for processing the transaction. Each transaction carries its own fee, rather than being levied on the batch, is my understanding. It certainly does slow service down to process each drink on a credit card, no question, and I've never been (un?)fortunate enough to work anywhere that gave out drinks for girls flashing you. Fact, I don't think I've ever been flashed, but I have come close to offering to take a girl around to the staff lounge during service.

PT6A
Jan 5, 2006

Public school teachers are callous dictators who won't lift a finger to stop children from peeing in my plane
Do any bars have those tap-to-pay wireless credit card terminals? That would seem to be the best in terms of convenience (though I suppose you'd still have to enter a tip).

Are US credit card issuers starting to use chip cards? I never thought it would be so slow to deal with credit cards, but if you're dealing with getting a signature every time, I can see how it would take a lot of time.

Perdido
Apr 29, 2009

CORY SCHNEIDER IS FAR MORE MENTALLY STABLE THAN LUONGO AND CAN HANDLE THE PRESSURES OF GOALTENDING IN VANCOUVER

PT6A posted:

Do any bars have those tap-to-pay wireless credit card terminals? That would seem to be the best in terms of convenience (though I suppose you'd still have to enter a tip).

Are US credit card issuers starting to use chip cards? I never thought it would be so slow to deal with credit cards, but if you're dealing with getting a signature every time, I can see how it would take a lot of time.

I have to swipe, hope that my ancient POS will recognise the card, if not I have to manually punch in the card number and expiry date, hit Send, which causes the POS to lag and lock up for about 30 seconds, then wait another minute or so until the printer barfs out the receipt.

And since we're on the topic of credit cards, a hearty gently caress you to the rich little kid who kept paying for each of his Smirnoff Ices individually with a credit card all night and then stiffed me for every single drink.

Tychtrip
May 23, 2010

We are livid souls
In the UK we tend to mostly use debit cards and some places offer cashback, so when we pay with a card on the bar a lot of bartenders tend to try persuade you to get some cashback the first time you're using your card cause it's pretty slow. They're usually cool with you when you do that. Mostly because bars that do this tend to not have minimum spends.

bloody ghost titty
Oct 23, 2008

tHROW SOME D"s ON THAT BIZNATCH

Perdido posted:

And since we're on the topic of credit cards, a hearty gently caress you to the rich little kid who kept paying for each of his Smirnoff Ices individually with a credit card all night and then stiffed me for every single drink.

Anybody that lovely is cut off, whether you 86 him or not.

Dirnok
Feb 10, 2005

I work in a cash only bar that owns its ATM. While I guest at places that take cards and I don't mind dealing with them at all, I get :smug: as poo poo when conversations like this come up. Sadly, I think our days of cash only are numbered. Where as a few years ago there were several of us in the downtown area that didn't take cards at all, I think we are the last one left.

PT6A
Jan 5, 2006

Public school teachers are callous dictators who won't lift a finger to stop children from peeing in my plane

Perdido posted:

I have to swipe, hope that my ancient POS will recognise the card, if not I have to manually punch in the card number and expiry date, hit Send, which causes the POS to lag and lock up for about 30 seconds, then wait another minute or so until the printer barfs out the receipt.

That's lovely. Aren't you Canadian? I don't think I've been to a bar in the past three years that hasn't had wireless PIN pads that accept chip cards. I think it's still a bit slower than cash, and obviously there's the processing fee (having looked at the processing systems for my own business, I think it's 5 cents plus 2% per transaction, or in that general range), but all in all I still don't think it's a major inconvenience if done with a modern system.

I'll definitely pay cash if I have cash on me, and I wouldn't ever pay per-drink with a card, but I don't always carry enough cash to settle up a decent bar tab, especially if I've had food.

nrr
Jan 2, 2007

The fee is never really something that I've worried about too much because it's always taken a backseat to how much time credit cards cost to run. Taking the card, swiping the card, waiting for the machine to connect to the server, processing, processing, processing, processing... printing... *machine does nothing* finally prints chit... in that amount of time, you could've banged out 3 or more rounds.

Before I left my high volume club job, they brought in new laws in Canada that signatures for credit cards in bars are no longer enough for chipped cards, and they all require a pin to be entered. Of course, my dumb idiot loving owner combined with my dumb idiot loving manager to decide that the wireless terminals were too expensive to purchase in the first place, and "if we did get them, then some drunk idiot would steal them all or break them all." So the soloution for our 50 foot bar was a wired machine, connected to a cable that would stretch maybe 10-15 feet tops around the middle of the bar, (yet not actually within reach of the 2 main tills/service zones) where customers could input their pin...

Yeah, so you want to pay with a credit card for your 2 beers where I have to get you to move 10 feet down the 4-5 deep, overcrowded bar, wait for you to get there while you awkwardly push past people before I can hand you the machine, tell you what you have to do so you don't gently caress it up, watch you gently caress it up anyway, have to re input all the information, tell you again what you need to do while a couple of dozen people are screaming their orders at me, wait for the machine to connect to the server, processing, processing, pr-CREDIT CARD MINIMUM $50

The best was the college invasion weekends where you have this credit card idiocy with every second kid because they all have daddy's amex, combined with the fact that none of them have been in a club before because they're all 19-20 and have no idea how to order or act, but most of them don't even know what they drink either.

Perdido
Apr 29, 2009

CORY SCHNEIDER IS FAR MORE MENTALLY STABLE THAN LUONGO AND CAN HANDLE THE PRESSURES OF GOALTENDING IN VANCOUVER
^^^ This sounds like my loving weekend, right down to the loving college invasion. Holy gently caress I want to stab things right now.

PT6A posted:

That's lovely. Aren't you Canadian? I don't think I've been to a bar in the past three years that hasn't had wireless PIN pads that accept chip cards. I think it's still a bit slower than cash, and obviously there's the processing fee (having looked at the processing systems for my own business, I think it's 5 cents plus 2% per transaction, or in that general range), but all in all I still don't think it's a major inconvenience if done with a modern system.

I'll definitely pay cash if I have cash on me, and I wouldn't ever pay per-drink with a card, but I don't always carry enough cash to settle up a decent bar tab, especially if I've had food.

Yeah, and PIN readers are commonplace in restaurants and retail, but I haven't really seen them crop up in nightclubs (which is where I work.)

Credit cards are the loving worst at my place because they take up so much goddamned time and, given how archaic our POS hardware is (we run Micros, which I have no problem with) are full of problems.

The POS I have for the bar I spend the majority of my time on doesn't read cards half the time and I don't have an actual printer -- my printer is actually hooked up to a server's printer which is the 'backup' printer. So every time I run a credit card or print a bill, I have to wait for the error message to pop up, hit the "SEND TO BACKUP" button, then get my poo poo. Like any good bartender, I try and get a customer or two's orders going while waiting on a credit card, so I sometimes forget to hit it.

rikatix
Aug 24, 2010
Just ranting:

Got stiffed. Like really stuffed, as in $0.00 tip on a $371 tab this weekend.

I work for a restaurant group in Kentucky and horse sales are going on now. The horse industry brings in a ton of Europeans as well as a significant amount of Japanese and middle eastern folk. As I'm sure we all are aware, the god drat Europeans can't wrap their heads around gratuity or the fact that we work for $2.13/hr.

Most of the time these industry folks are ok, they have spent enough time here to understand tipping, at least well enough (sometimes they don't tip on bottles of wine) that it doesn't really bother me anymore when I get a cruddy tip from them.

But good god these loving Irish shits came in the other night and were a nightmare from the start. All they could order was "give me a glass if red, a glass of white, a beer in a straight glass". They just didn't get what I was saying when I asked them to please choose a varietal on the wine and sir, please choose any one of our 32 bottles, I'm not going to choose for you. Also, wtf is a straight glass?

Anyway I finally get them a very nice bottle of merlot, a glass of Italian Pinot Grigio, and to the human being that would never tell me what beer he wanted, even after multiple inquiries, well I brought him nothing. He go angry that I brought him no beer in a straight glass, we got into an argument and his friend said to just bring him a Heineken. Easy enough, brought out a bottle and a chilled beer glass but apparently I had it all wrong, it wasn't a straight glass. I told him its the only glass I have.

5 of them total, three order their steak Pittsburgh which I'm sure we can all agree means black as poo poo on the outside, rare as gently caress on the inside. It's delicious. It comes from old Pittsburgh and Pennsylvania coal miners/steelers who would take their red hot tools and press them over meat for a few seconds before consuming.

Steaks come out perfect but they are ALL sent back because "this isn't Pittsburgh! It's raw on the inside!" Followed by "Your water is dreadful, don't drink it!" "Ma'am, we are amongst the highest in the nation in water quality, the limestone is a natu..." "Bring me a San peligrino!!"

Then there was "My plate isn't hot!" "Your plate? How about the food?" "The food is fine but I can't eat off a plate that isn't hot!"

Get the manager involved, they go off how my service is "shite". I start laughing and instantly stop caring at this point "oh it's shite is it, alright. Well if you need anything let me know" and I just don't come back anymore. One guy finally pays and immediately gives me the credit card receipt back. 0 on 371.

We were closed and they were the last table in the restaurant at this point. I wasn't too devastated; suffering from a cold, I just wanted to go home. Fired up the vacuum cleaner right next to them and hovered around their table while whistling and "accidentally" banging into their chairs. They told me I was being rude and asked if I could please leave.

That was about it. Just thought I'd share. Made me appreciate the redneck hilljacks that roll in every payday to drink their Coors light and eat well done steaks. At least they'll tip 10%

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

bloody ghost titty
Oct 23, 2008

tHROW SOME D"s ON THAT BIZNATCH
I shouldn't need to say this, but yeah, You deserved that. Why would you be a prick just because they're being difficult? I mean, if they're picking fights, let your manager serve them.

Luceo
Apr 29, 2003

As predicted in the Bible. :cheers:



For you Americans, the max your minimum can be is $10 per the Dodd-Frank Act. Prior to that, your merchant agreement with Visa wouldn't allow a minimum at all, and it still doesn't on a debit card transaction. Not like this is very enforceable, but it's good to know.

Source: http://blog.visa.com/2010/09/02/minimizing-confusion-over-minimums/

rikatix
Aug 24, 2010

Vegetable Melange posted:

I shouldn't need to say this, but yeah, You deserved that. Why would you be a prick just because they're being difficult? I mean, if they're picking fights, let your manager serve them.
True. Like I said I wasn't too bummed out about it. That being said I started out their evening same as I do every guest, with a friendly greet and smiles all around. They just happened to be a special kind of awful.

Masonity
Dec 31, 2007

What, I wonder, does this hidden face of madness reveal of the makers? These K'Chain Che'Malle?

rikatix posted:

True. Like I said I wasn't too bummed out about it. That being said I started out their evening same as I do every guest, with a friendly greet and smiles all around. They just happened to be a special kind of awful.

It's clear you have a great product range. Do you have the product knowledge (edit: And confidence) to go along with it?

People asking for a glass of red, a glass of white and a beer would be a) almost certainly mystery shoppers, and b) the ideal customers. It'd give me a chance to recommend a beer, red wine and white wine. Even here in the tipless badlands of the UK those customers sound like they would have been greasing my palm by the end of the night.

"Sure guys. What sort of red do you like, something powerful or more subtle? Oh great, we have a really nice ____, want a large glass? Should I get you a dry white or something more rounded like a chardonnay? Oh great. It's a bit unusual, but we have a ____ that's really nice, I think you'd like it. Also large? What sort of beer are you after, a lager or an ale? A lager? my favorite is the _____."

Sounds like it would have been quicker than "Yeah, but what wine? Come on guys, tell me a red name and a white name? Beer? We do lots of beer. Look. Ask me for one in specific... No listen to me you swine, order a beer by name or you get nothing. Nothing, I tell you!"

Merlot and Pinot Gricio sounds like they went with the first names they could think of when pressured with the wine. Ditto Heineken with the beer once you refused to "choose for them".

You are a bartender or a waiter. Your job is to know your beers and wines better than the customer, and guide them towards the right choices. You should be shifting "A glass of house red" into "okay I'll have that better red you recommended", not insisting they order exactly what they want.

And the food, you clearly know it's a local thing. You made that clear. So when they ordered it, why not say "So that's three steaks, black on the outside, still red in the middle, right?"

And regardless, meat sent back to be cooked more isn't an issue. Undercooked is easy, overcooked is wasted meat.


Even if I was in the USA visiting (if/when I do get my rear end over there I intend to tip like a local) I wouldn't have left you a cent. Or I might have even added a 1 cent tip just to be even more insulting. It sounds like you was less their bartender and waiter, and more like you was their automon 2000 food and drink ordering robot. "Sorry sir, 'A beer' does not compute. Please enter your choice of beverage by saying the whole name after the beep."


edit: I don't get it. The plate thing... When you rely on tips to live, how do you have the "calling them sir" thing down to a tee, even using it when it's clearly not appropriate, yet don't have the "apologize and fix it even if it isn't broken" bit down? Switching the food onto a hot plate (and even heating one if it's not usually a thing there) is a lot easier than antagonizing a customer. And won't cost a penny.

Masonity fucked around with this message at 20:25 on Nov 11, 2012

rikatix
Aug 24, 2010
I've been at this for a long time, I am the go to guy in my restaurant as I know how every item is prepared, I have been formally trained to pair all of our bottles and glasses with every dish on the menu.

I don't want to argue this, and know that I never began to argue with them until they got out of hand.

Ordering your steak "Pittsburgh" and being shocked when it's not what you had in mind, even when the meat came out perfect is the same as ordering a fried chicken sandwich and being amazed when it hits the table only to find that the kitchen didn't grill it. The nerve.

At a point there was no saving the table and my manager was involved the entire time.

This was just one of those tables that was doomed from the start.

Perhaps I'm painting the wrong story, when I say they ordered "a glass of red". It was "I'll take a glass of the red", hands me a dinner menu as if they are done ordering for the evening and then resumes their conversation with the rest of the table. They weren't looking for any input from me.

Masonity
Dec 31, 2007

What, I wonder, does this hidden face of madness reveal of the makers? These K'Chain Che'Malle?

rikatix posted:

I've been at this for a long time, I am the go to guy in my restaurant as I know how every item is prepared, I have been formally trained to pair all of our bottles and glasses with every dish on the menu.

I don't want to argue this, and know that I never began to argue with them until they got out of hand.

Ordering your steak "Pittsburgh" and being shocked when it's not what you had in mind, even when the meat came out perfect is the same as ordering a fried chicken sandwich and being amazed when it hits the table only to find that the kitchen didn't grill it. The nerve.

At a point there was no saving the table and my manager was involved the entire time.

This was just one of those tables that was doomed from the start.

Perhaps I'm painting the wrong story, when I say they ordered "a glass of red". It was "I'll take a glass of the red", hands me a dinner menu as if they are done ordering for the evening and then resumes their conversation with the rest of the table. They weren't looking for any input from me.

Guess what then? You have been formally trained. The customer hasn't. You could have just brought them the red, white and beer that goes best with a pittsburg. And on the whole pitsburg thing, I know a fried chicken sandwich is fried, not grilled. I don't, however, know what "pitsburg style" is. And they probably didn't either. IF in doubt, make sure the customer is aware.

There are multiple paths you could have taken. You chose "be a stuck up prick and antagonise the customer". If you lacked product knowledge it would have been somewhat excusable. As it stands? Honestly it just sounds like you aren't cut out for this. Not every customer is the perfect customer. But guess what? Taking a tough customer, giving them a great night and getting a decent tip out of them at the end is one of the most rewarding things in this job. If you only want customers who are trained in your particular restaurant's etiquette, find somewhere that screens the clientele.

Or you could go down the old "You weren't there I didn't say how bad they were, these guys were literally eating babies when they came in, and one ejaculated in my managers eye" route to try to justify it to us after you didn't get the "Oh god, they didn't tip? Dirty Irish Bastards!" response you was looking for.

rikatix
Aug 24, 2010
Whatever. They were dirty Irish bastards. Case closed.

nrr
Jan 2, 2007

Yo can I get a round of car bombs in here to lighten the mood

raton
Jul 28, 2003

by FactsAreUseless
They were poo poo. You were poo poo. I'm poo poo too. Let's all be poo poo together!

Yay we're all poo poo!

You know what's not poo poo? One time my drunk rear end friend in Montana ran the length of the stick in a blue collar dive with his hand held out and slapped everyone sitting at the bar in the back of the head. This was unprovoked save his generally healthy disdain for humanity having gone a bit haywire. It was one of those rare occurrences (well, rare in life, they are fairly common in print) that goes far enough beyond the compact humanity has amongst its members that nothing results from it.

And yes, he is half Irish.

raton fucked around with this message at 22:26 on Nov 11, 2012

danquixotic
Nov 24, 2011

krut you are a faggot cunt nigger deer for leaving

rikatix posted:

Just ranting:

Got stiffed. Like really stuffed, as in $0.00 tip on a $371 tab this weekend.

I work for a restaurant group in Kentucky and horse sales are going on now. The horse industry brings in a ton of Europeans as well as a significant amount of Japanese and middle eastern folk. As I'm sure we all are aware, the god drat Europeans can't wrap their heads around gratuity or the fact that we work for $2.13/hr.

Most of the time these industry folks are ok, they have spent enough time here to understand tipping, at least well enough (sometimes they don't tip on bottles of wine) that it doesn't really bother me anymore when I get a cruddy tip from them.

But good god these loving Irish shits came in the other night and were a nightmare from the start. All they could order was "give me a glass if red, a glass of white, a beer in a straight glass". They just didn't get what I was saying when I asked them to please choose a varietal on the wine and sir, please choose any one of our 32 bottles, I'm not going to choose for you. Also, wtf is a straight glass?

Anyway I finally get them a very nice bottle of merlot, a glass of Italian Pinot Grigio, and to the human being that would never tell me what beer he wanted, even after multiple inquiries, well I brought him nothing. He go angry that I brought him no beer in a straight glass, we got into an argument and his friend said to just bring him a Heineken. Easy enough, brought out a bottle and a chilled beer glass but apparently I had it all wrong, it wasn't a straight glass. I told him its the only glass I have.

5 of them total, three order their steak Pittsburgh which I'm sure we can all agree means black as poo poo on the outside, rare as gently caress on the inside. It's delicious. It comes from old Pittsburgh and Pennsylvania coal miners/steelers who would take their red hot tools and press them over meat for a few seconds before consuming.

Steaks come out perfect but they are ALL sent back because "this isn't Pittsburgh! It's raw on the inside!" Followed by "Your water is dreadful, don't drink it!" "Ma'am, we are amongst the highest in the nation in water quality, the limestone is a natu..." "Bring me a San peligrino!!"

Then there was "My plate isn't hot!" "Your plate? How about the food?" "The food is fine but I can't eat off a plate that isn't hot!"

Get the manager involved, they go off how my service is "shite". I start laughing and instantly stop caring at this point "oh it's shite is it, alright. Well if you need anything let me know" and I just don't come back anymore. One guy finally pays and immediately gives me the credit card receipt back. 0 on 371.

We were closed and they were the last table in the restaurant at this point. I wasn't too devastated; suffering from a cold, I just wanted to go home. Fired up the vacuum cleaner right next to them and hovered around their table while whistling and "accidentally" banging into their chairs. They told me I was being rude and asked if I could please leave.

That was about it. Just thought I'd share. Made me appreciate the redneck hilljacks that roll in every payday to drink their Coors light and eat well done steaks. At least they'll tip 10%

I'd also like to point out that us dirty Irish mongrels, dogs that we are, have a practically nonexistent tipping culture. When it comes to pouring drinks in most situations there is no expectation of it, and even when I was working weddings here which would usually be a tip-heavy kind of event I probably averaged 10-15 euro in 12 hours. Sucks but thats the way it goes.

Masonity
Dec 31, 2007

What, I wonder, does this hidden face of madness reveal of the makers? These K'Chain Che'Malle?

danquixotic posted:

I'd also like to point out that us dirty Irish mongrels, dogs that we are, have a practically nonexistent tipping culture. When it comes to pouring drinks in most situations there is no expectation of it, and even when I was working weddings here which would usually be a tip-heavy kind of event I probably averaged 10-15 euro in 12 hours. Sucks but thats the way it goes.

I'm in London, so your UK exports might differ from both the home stock and American exports, but I've always known Irishmen to be decent tippers for a sit down meal, and great for the old "And one for yourself!" at the bar. The "one for yourself"s soon add up to either a nicely drunk barman or ma nicely filled tip jar. The best worst best worst best worst best worst best kind are the ones that insist you take it as a drink, there and then, and drink it with them.

rikatix
Aug 24, 2010
The Irish are usually my best euro tippers. Actually I would say they are the best. French and Spanish the worst.

Edit: worldwide, excluding America, I'd say the Japanese are the best.

rikatix fucked around with this message at 01:26 on Nov 12, 2012

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raton
Jul 28, 2003

by FactsAreUseless

rikatix posted:

The Irish are usually my best euro tippers. Actually I would say they are. French and Spanish the worst.

Edit: worldwide, excluding America, I'd say the Japanese are the best.

I agree with these opinions.

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