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: And today, on Thanksgiving, I am thankful for Babe Ruth being the best hitter ever, Greg Maddux not dicking me over this year. The Luna Landers for collapsing so profoundly down the stretch, which in turn, allows me to be grateful for being the Television, Heavyweight, Senor Goodtimes and reigning Super-League champion. : I'm Jack McDowell, and I'm thankful for the fact that we made the playoffs, also that since we play in the U.K., that I don't have to deal with Thanksgiving anymore. : Hold the gently caress on! Where the gently caress is your loving Thanksgiving spirit? : Listen, Mark, I'm just not big on- : No, gently caress that! I am going to fill you with Thanksgiving spirit if it loving kills you! And I'm not going to do it alone! Johnny loving Hopp! Present yourself! : ... : Okay, let's loving do this! Wrigley Field Chicago, IL Game 1 : Lesson #1 of Thankgiving: you've got to pretend to be thankful even when you aren't, and you aren't going be thankful most years, because the world is a lovely place to live. : gently caress, that is not how I wanted us to start this series. : Yep, you're gonna lose this series badly. But, you know what, on Thanksgiving, you've got to learn to bury those disappointments, and pretend that your life isn't just some sort out of control carwreck where you're about to go to jail because the loving cops nailed you for a second DUI and- : Uh, this is getting oddly specific, is there something you want to- : No! gently caress you! Next lesson! Game 2 : Lesson #2 of Thanksgiving: When they ask you what you're thankful for, and you have nothing, and Jack McDowell, looking at this boxscore, this certainly applies to you and your loser-rear end team. : Oh, gently caress. : Yeah, 'gently caress'. But, even when your life sucks, people are still going to ask what you're thankful for, and you can't tell them to go to hell, because they'll get pissy about that. So, when they ask, you tell them that you're thankful for your friends and family, even though most of those assholes don't really care about you. : I'm kind of more concerned about the fact that we're done 0-2 in this best-of-five series. Maybe we'll have better luck in Bolton. Memourial Coliseum Bolton, England Game 3 : Oh, yeah! Thanksgiving lesson #3: Be thankful that you've got a nice long offseason to reflect on how hard I just kicked your sorry rear end all over the world! Josh Hamilton series-winning home run in the top of the ninth! How does that feel, W's? That's for Super-League III, you assholes! : Didn't even get a chance to start one game... : No, you loving didn't! And the good news keeps coming, because you and the Cultists will get to be divisionmates next season! This was your last best chance to win a championship, and you blew it! The Bobbleheads are going to repeat, you motherfuckers! Happy loving Thanksgiving! Johnny Hopp, play the music! : ... : That's right, assholes, we are everything you want, we are everything you need, we are everything inside of you that you wish you could be! : I can't believe that we lost to a team that celebrates by listening to mediocre pop music from 2000. This is the worst Thanksgiving ever. : Come on, Jack, this is only the worst Thanksgiving so far, next year could be way worse! Good night! Updated Playoff Bracket
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# ? Nov 22, 2012 23:43 |
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# ? May 14, 2024 06:14 |
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vs Can the pucky underdogs overcome the team with better defence, hitters and pitchers in a seven game series? Will the evil tornado empire flame out when their hitters face a real team? Find out in the: Orange League Divisional Series quote:Game One - Cancun quote:Game 2 - Cancun - Tornadoes lead 1-0 quote:Game 3 - The Intertubes - Series tied 1-1 quote:Game 4 - The Intertubes - Bloggers lead 2-1 quote:Game 5 - Bloggosphere - Series tied 2-2 quote:Game 6 - Cancun - Tornadoes lead 3-2 quote:Game 7 - Cancun - Series tied 3-3 Analysis Tough beat Cancun - you had to be the favorite to win this, and things like Lefty Grove's inexplicable meltdowns in both games cost you heavily Bloggers and Providence Barons I need any changes you have for the EC Cup Match. Barons: Babe Adams is right to go - Dwight Evans is out until game 6 with a broken finger. Who takes RF? Bloggers: You can either have McNally or Dobson start game 1, Lolich is tired and needs to wait for game 2.
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# ? Nov 23, 2012 16:36 |
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Bloggers gonna blog. Tough series, Ultimo. Outscored me by 9, but I guess I've been over my Pythag all year. I assume the EC Finals are 2-3-2 also, with the only days off on the travel days? If I remember correctly, Providence has home field? AFCS is a high-dinger park, correct? Is Pappas able to start game 2, or do I have to stick with the same rotation as before?
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# ? Nov 23, 2012 21:51 |
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Results Shockingly, the only good team out of these four managed to dominate the round. Anyway, now that you've had two rounds to see how badly Jack Scott can gently caress you over, why not use Jason Schmidt as your 5th starter so I don't wince when I input your rotation? Not the most convincing win in the history of the Gauntlet, but the Cells will live to fight another day, and if they can survive the next round, they'll be halfway to their goal of surviving into next season. Here's something unfortunate: Postmodernists aren't really as big on dramatic irony as other types of writers. And that's a shame, because the irony of you trading Barry Bonds to the Unicorns, who almost single-handedly killed your team by going 10-4 against you in the Gauntlet, in a round you only lost by one game? That's some pretty delightful irony right there. But it's not really postmodern, is it? The Intercontinental Title is vacated! The vacant title will be awarded to the winner of the Gauntlet! Next Time! Pick 'em or 'Em will pick you! Pick TWO! Barrow Daydreamers Cleveland Unicorns Comancheros Norfolk Splinter Cells : Pick the Daydreamers! They're Dunn-tastic!
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# ? Nov 23, 2012 22:05 |
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PICKEM Cleveland and the Daydreamers
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# ? Nov 23, 2012 22:12 |
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In before a factorialite post full of references to Fresca and general bitching. (edited for accuracy) Grinnblade fucked around with this message at 22:38 on Nov 23, 2012 |
# ? Nov 23, 2012 22:21 |
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Pick 'em! Unicorns, Comancheros
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# ? Nov 23, 2012 22:21 |
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Almost as sad about Polyarny losing as I am happy about the Bloggers winning. My favorite team noooo. Anyway: BrooklynBruiser posted:Pick 'em!
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# ? Nov 23, 2012 22:28 |
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Jimmy Foxx...that's the last time you let me down! Pick 'em! Cleveland and Barrow to advance!
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# ? Nov 23, 2012 22:31 |
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Pick-'em update 3 — Hint: You want to pick teams that don't start Adam Dunn! Bruzer - 12 points Faustoan Bargain - 10 points gardenald - 10 points mentholmoose - 15 points mks5000 - 8 points Monicro - 10 points Mornacale - 3 points Pungry - 3 points Robert_Deadford - 7 points tatankatonk - 10 points UltimoDragonQuest - 9 points Standings 1. mentholmoose (15) 2. Bruzer (12) 3. Faustoan Bargain/gardenald/Monicro/tatankatonk (10) 7. UltimoDragonQuest (9) 8. mks5000 (8) 9. Robert_Deadford (7) 10. Mornacale/Pungry (3) Some separation occurring, the mess in third aside. mentholmoose gets both the series length and final score +/- 1 run bonuses for the Bobbleheads-Ws series, which conspire to propel him into the lead.
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# ? Nov 23, 2012 23:24 |
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Cleveland and Norfolk Get out of here Mornacle, I'm the worst picker
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# ? Nov 23, 2012 23:28 |
BaseballMogulPlayoffs.txt Pick 'em! Cleveland, Comancheros
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# ? Nov 23, 2012 23:28 |
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Smasher Dynamo posted:The Intercontinental Title is vacated! The vacant title will be awarded to the winner of the Gauntlet! So if the Mooglies can somehow snatch life from the jaws of death, they will have recaptured one of the titles that they brought into the Super League in the first place? Magnificent!
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# ? Nov 23, 2012 23:36 |
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Mornacale posted:Almost as sad about Polyarny losing as I am happy about the Bloggers winning. My favorite team noooo. Aww, thanks, Mornacale. Your time as a Pirates fan must have endeared you to whimsical lost causes. Smasher Dynamo posted:
No, but you know what is? Bonds was outperformed by Cedeño, who was a throw-in in the same trade, if one suited to the team. Meanwhile, it turns out Fernandomania was best left relegated to the dustbin of the early 80s. There is no absolute truth in baseball. Or crying, I hear.
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# ? Nov 23, 2012 23:57 |
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Dispersal Draft VII Information The dispersal pool will consist of the following teams: Idaho Potatoes Rated R Superstars Vice City Goose Eggs Poughkeepsie Superbas Madison Mudholes Polyarny Postmodernists Here's the draft order: Round 1 1. Catalina (.393) 2. Spokane (.393) 3. Seattle (.436) 4. Florida (.442) 5. New England (.448) 6. Cuba (.454) 7. Venice Beach (.454) 8. Flushing (.470) 9. Philadelphia (.472) 10. San Juan (.479) 11. Oneida (.506) 12. New Orleans (.515) 13. Wausau (.519) 14. Hartford (.528) 15. Cleveland (.540) 16. Albany (.543) 17. Providence (.546) 18. Web 2.0 (.564) 19. Cancun (.636) Sandwich Round 20. Pick 'em Winner Round 2 21. Catalina (.393) 22. Spokane (.393) 23. Seattle (.436) 24. Florida (.442) 25. New England (.448) 26. Cuba (.454) 27. Venice Beach (.454) 28. Flushing (.470) 29. Philadelphia (.472) 30. San Juan (.479) 31. Oneida (.506) 32. New Orleans (.515) 33. Wausau (.519) 34. Hartford (.528) 35. Cleveland (.540) 36. Albany (.543) 37. Providence (.546) 38. Web 2.0 (.564) 39. Cancun (.636) Round 3 40. Catalina (.393) 41. Spokane (.393) 42. Seattle (.436) 43. Florida (.442) 44. New England (.448) 45. Cuba (.454) 46. Venice Beach (.454) 47. Flushing (.470) 48. Philadelphia (.472) 49. San Juan (.479) 50. Oneida (.506) 51. New Orleans (.515) 52. Wausau (.519) 53. Hartford (.528) 54. Cleveland (.540) 55. Albany (.543) 56. Providence (.546) 57. Web 2.0 (.564) 58. Cancun (.636) Here is a list of the available players, listed in order of how good I think they are: Catchers '53 Yogi Berra (IDA) '34 Gabby Hartnett (IDA) '70 Thurman Munson (RRS) '43 Bill Dickey (PAR) '43 Walker Cooper (MAD) '71 Gene Tenace (POU) '85 Darrell Porter (PAR) '10 Mike Napoli (POU) '90 Brian Harper (RRS) '76 Bob Boone (RRS) '11 Jonathan Lucroy (MAD) '40 Birdie Tebbetts (RRS) '85 Ernie Whitt (VIC) '22 Hank Severeid (VIC '19 Ray Schalk (PAR) First Basemen '62 Willie McCovey (IDA) '11 Prince Fielder (MAD) '89 Mark McGwire (POU) '95 Don Mattingly (RRS) '79 Keith Hernandez (PAR) '22 George Sisler (VIC) '05 Jeff Bagwell (RRS) '99 Fred McGriff (RRS) '28 George Sisler (RRS) '02 Joe Kelley (PAR) '88 Glenn Davis (VIC) '71 Don Mincher (POU) '85 Cecil Fielder (VIC) '91 Sam Horn (IDA) '43 Ray Sanders (MAD) '02 Jake Beckley (PAR) Second Basemen '11 Eddie Collins (POU) '02 Nap Lajoie (PAR) '69 Joe Morgan (IDA) '85 Paul Molitor (RRS) '10 Robinson Cano (VIC) '97 Roberto Alomar (MAD) '60 Nellie Fox (VIC) '10 Ian Kinsler (POU) '68 Dick McAuliffe (RRS) '85 Tom Herr (PAR) '12 Neil Walker (MAD) '22 Marty McManus (VIC) '04 Freddie Sanchez (RRS) '11 Rickie Weeks (MAD) '85 Harold Reynolds (IDA) '53 Billy Martin (IDA) Third Basemen '77 George Brett (PAR) '55 Eddie Yost (RRS) '66 Brooks Robinson (RRS) '71 Sal Bando (POU) '83 Buddy Bell (VIC) '10 Adrian Beltre (POU) '74 Ron Cey (VIC) '53 Gil McDougald (IDA) '43 Whitey Kurowski (MAD) '92 Todd Zeile (RRS) '85 Rance Mulliniks (VIC) '12 Pedro Alvarez (MAD) '06 Maicer Izturis (IDA) Shortstops '01 Alex Rodriguez (POU) '82 Robin Yount (MAD) '82 Robin Yount (RRS) '91 Cal Ripken (IDA) '85 Ozzie Smith (PAR) '10 Michael Young (POU) '19 Charlie Hollocher (RRS) '71 Bert Campaneris (POU) '85 Tony Fernandez (VIC) '74 Bill Russell (RRS) '70 Luis Aparicio (POU) '53 Phil Rizzuto (IDA) Left Fielders '39 Ted Williams (RRS) '43 Stan Musial (MAD) '80 Rickey Henderson (IDA) '10 Josh Hamilton (POU) '11 Ryan Braun (MAD) '78 Dave Parker (RRS) '68 Willie Horton (IDA) '08 Matt Holliday (VIC) '70 Lou Brock (RRS) '85 George Bell (VIC) '22 Ken Williams (VIC) '11 Carl Crawford (RRS) '71 Rick Monday (POU) '86 Jim Rice (VIC) '04 Jose Bautista (RRS) '72 Felipe Alou (RRS) '65 Bob Allison (RRS) '53 Gene Woodling (IDA) Center Fielders '62 Willie Mays (PAR) '53 Mickey Mantle (IDA) '01 Billy Hamilton (PAR) '98 Bernie Williams (RRS) '04 Carlos Beltran (POU) '80 Cesar Cedeno (PAR) '12 Andrew McCutchen (MAD) '02 Sam Crawford (PAR) '19 Max Carey (PAR) '78 Amos Otis (VIC) Right Fielders '58 Al Kaline (VIC) '97 Larry Walker (RRS) '71 Reggie Jackson (POU) '96 Gary Sheffield (MAD) '06 Vladimir Guerrero (IDA) '03 Ichiro Suzuki (VIC) '84 Joe Carter (RRS) '02 Elmer Flick (PAR) '72 Roberto Clemente (IDA) '93 Ellis Burks (RRS) '11 J.D. Drew (RRS) '85 Danny Tartabull (IDA) '11 Corey Hart (MAD) Starting Pitchers '22 Pete Alexander (IDA) '95 Roger Clemens (MAD) '62 Juan Marichal (VIC) '53 Whitey Ford (IDA) '02 Addie Joss (PAR) '66 Steve "Sting" Carlton (IDA) '79 Don Sutton (MAD) '02 Noodles the Pitcher (PAR) '11 Chief Bender (RRS) '71 Catfish Hunter (POU) '96 Kevin Brown (MAD) '91 Mike Mussina (IDA) '85 Dave Stieb (VIC) '84 Rick Sutcliffe (RRS) '68 Mickey Lolich (POU) '86 Rick Reuschel (PAR) '83 Frank Tanana (VIC) '06 Jered Weaver (IDA) '71 Vida Blue (POU) '01 Kid Nichols (PAR) '85 John Tudor (PAR) '11 Yovani Gallardo (MAD) '10 C.J. Wilson (POU) '47 Bob Lemon (MAD) '22 Urban Shocker (VIC) '04 Cy Falkenberg (PAR) '01 Vic Willis (PAR) '70 Tommy John (POU) '95 Jack McDowell (RRS) '11 Doug Fister (VIC) '78 Luis Tiant (VIC) '86 Fernando Valenzuela (PAR) '96 Al Leiter (MAD) '65 Phil Niekro (VIC) '64 Jim Bouton (RRS) '70 Wilbur Wood (POU) '43 Harry Brecheen (MAD) '11 Nap Rucker (PAR) '57 Frank Sullivan (RRS) '53 Ed Lopat (IDA) '34 Waite Hoyt (PAR) '00 Barry Zito (RRS) '99 Barry Zito (MAD) '78 Dennis Leonard (RRS) '43 Howie Pollet (MAD) '91 Mike Flanagan (IDA) '43 Max Lanier (MAD) '72 Steve Kline (RRS) '70 Joe Horlen (POU) '67 Denny Lemaster (RRS) '06 Ervin Santana (IDA) '85 Mike Moore (IDA) Relievers '97 Robb Nen (PAR) '96 Robb Nen (MAD) '85 Tom Henke (VIC) '71 Rollie Fingers (POU) '06 Francisco Rodriguez (IDA) '68 John Hiller (PAR) '81 Jesse Orosco (PAR) '81 Jeff Reardon (PAR) '11 John Axford (MAD) '10 Neftali Feliz (POU) '85 Todd Worrell (PAR) '11 Francisco Rodriguez (MAD) '06 Scot Shields (IDA) '10 David Aardsma (RRS) '10 Alexei Ogando (POU) '10 Darren O'Day (POU) '83 Danny Darwin (VIC) '71 Mudcat Grant (POU) '53 Johnny Sain (IDA) '74 Charlie Hough (RRS) '72 Bob Johnson (VIC) '06 Brandon League (POU) '10 Koji Uehara (MAD) '10 Koji Uehara (POU) '06 J.C. Romero (IDA) '11 Jose Valverde (VIC) '05 Dan Wheeler (RRS) '58 Hank Aguirre (VIC) '11 Jason Grilli (MAD) '53 Bob Kuzava (IDA) '78 Dave LaRoche (VIC) '58 Tom Morgan (VIC) '04 Saloman Torres (RRS) '58 Frank Lary (VIC) '91 Todd Frohwirth (IDA) '92 Rheal Cormier (RRS) '92 Mike Perez (RRS) 'X6 Denny Rainwater (PAR) Expansion Owners! Give me your draft preferences! There's really no wrong way to list your preferences, just keep in mind that asking for "Best Player Available" means that I'll use my judgment, which might not be the same as yours. And we're not doing this live, because a bunch of you guys haven't been around in weeks, and I don't feel like waiting on you.
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# ? Nov 24, 2012 00:02 |
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Round 1: Best SS or 3B Available Round 2: Best SS or 3B Available Round 3: Best Player Available BrooklynBruiser fucked around with this message at 08:37 on Nov 27, 2012 |
# ? Nov 24, 2012 00:20 |
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Round 1: Best available Second Baseman Round 2: The best hitting outfielder that can play a corner outfield spot and bats lefthanded (If this needs to be more specific just let me know) Round 3: Best available pitcher (starting or relief) If by some miracle I win the Pick 'em, then make the sandwich pick a starting pitcher. Paul Zuvella fucked around with this message at 06:46 on Nov 26, 2012 |
# ? Nov 24, 2012 00:28 |
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The Vice City Tom Henke was '83, not '85. Still one of the few guys who did a good job. Like '78 Amos Otis, who somehow did okay! Belated apologies for those we let down in the pick 'em game.
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# ? Nov 24, 2012 00:33 |
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Okay I horribly misunderstood the way the draft pool works so gently caress it let's just wing it Round 1: '02 Nap Lajoie ('11 Eddie Collins if unavailable, if both are unavailable then just the best available besides Robbie Cano) Sandwich Pick: Best SP Available Round 2: Best SP Available Round 3: Best OF Available my offense is good gently caress you guys Monicro fucked around with this message at 01:25 on Nov 24, 2012 |
# ? Nov 24, 2012 00:39 |
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Expansion Cup Owners! I want your draft picks, so hit me up with what you'd like in return and let's get to trading!
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# ? Nov 24, 2012 00:40 |
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New Orleans Mashers R1: Best 2B/3B available R2: BPA R3: don't have it because I traded it for Doby
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# ? Nov 24, 2012 00:46 |
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ForeverBWFC posted:Expansion Cup Owners!
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# ? Nov 24, 2012 00:48 |
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Monicro posted:Okay I horribly misunderstood the way the draft pool works so gently caress it let's just wing it Changed the Round 3 pick, quoting for posterity.
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# ? Nov 24, 2012 01:23 |
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1: As good of a catcher as I can get. 2: As good of a outfielder as I can get (doesn't matter which part of the outfield). 3: As good of a shortstop as I can get. That should do.
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# ? Nov 24, 2012 02:25 |
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Well, that playoff series ended well for me. Here's picks for the next round of the Gauntlet: Splinter Cells Unicorns And then for the draft. If I somehow manage to win the extra pick: 1st round: Best hitter overall. Sandwich pick: Best C overall. 2nd round: Best SS overall. Robin Yount over A-rod, if they're both still available. 3rd round: Best 3B overall. If the best available according to your ranks is 74 Ron Cey or lower, then go with the best relief pitcher overall. And in the much more likely event that I don't: 1st round: Best hitter overall. 2nd round: Best C overall. 3rd round: Best SS overall. Robin Yount over A-rod, if they're both somehow still available. mentholmoose fucked around with this message at 03:16 on Nov 24, 2012 |
# ? Nov 24, 2012 02:50 |
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oh poo poo I forgot my Pick 'Ems Comancheros Unicorns It's less the Unicorns have won me over and more lol the Daydreamers and Cells
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# ? Nov 24, 2012 02:59 |
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Draft Picks: Round 1: Best Starting Pitcher available Sandwich Pick (in the event of a miracle): best Reliever available Round 2: Best Catcher available Round 3: Best starting pitcher or 3B or Reliever available, please use your impeccable judgement (you were right about Saberhagen after all) Superleague teams! Do you want the number 5 pick? I'll sell it for the right price: a Superleague quality SP and a Superleague quality catcher.
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# ? Nov 24, 2012 03:08 |
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You fools! Don't sell your draft pick!
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# ? Nov 24, 2012 03:58 |
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Owner: factorialite Location: Juneau, AK Home Grounds: Jagganath Stadium The Juggernauts were a team in the Super-League. And then they got relegated, so they aren't in the Super-League anymore. The end.
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# ? Nov 24, 2012 04:24 |
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Draft Priorities These priorities are for any picks I get: 1) Any super elite player who I would be insane not to pick 2) SS better than '64 Aparicio1 3) 1B better than '90 Hrbek 4) 3B better than '64 Robinson1 5) 2B better than '32 Grantham1 6) best available RP2 At any pick, if the best SP available2 is better than the pick that would otherwise be indicated above, take the SP instead (if an SP has already been selected, then don't take a second unless he's better than Dave McNally). 1 Keeping in mind that infield defense is important for me. 2 Keeping in mind that groundball pitchers gain an advantage from my superior infield defense. If I get time, I'll make lists of specific guys I think fit #2-#5 to make your life easier. Also, anyone who wants my 2nd or 3rd-round draft picks (since I have no first-rounder), you can see above who I'm targeting. Convince me that whatever you're offering is better than what I'd probably get in the draft and the pick is yours. Finally, gingemidget, I believe you will find that you missed my picks for the most recent Gauntlet round and hence I should have more points. Unless I'm confused and/or stupid.
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# ? Nov 24, 2012 04:28 |
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Did you know that Wisconsin has the highest per capita rate of Brandy consumption in the United States? Did you know it went up by 30% the first time the fans saw the Mudholes' lineup? Owner: theacox Location: Madison, WI Home Grounds: U.S. Cellular Field Teams Used 1943 St. Louis Cardinals 1996 Florida Marlins 2011 Milwaukee Brewers 2012 Pittsburgh Pirates Past Records Expansion Cup VI 80-82, 4th Place, Doppels Division Super League VII 69-93, 3rd Place, Senor Goodtimes Division Gauntlet VI Round 2: 26-14, 1st Place, Survived Round 3: 19-21, 3rd Place, Relegated Sunday, April 21st, late morning pre-game It was one of those mornings: cold sweat, crusted eyes, searing pain behind his temples, and absolutely no recollection of the previous night. Unpleasant, but nothing out of the ordinary for Ryan Braun. After all these years, he was finally getting used to the price. Now it was just a matter of recalling what he'd been told, before it slipped from his mind. He sat up, took a deep, cleansing breath, cast his thoughts back over the previous night's dreams, and collapsed screaming to the floor. After a few minutes of lying there, he felt almost strong enough to maybe stand up, though when he tried to do so he regretted it deeply. He also found some room in his heart to regret leaving the pain killers in the bathroom rather than bedside. But what he regretted most of all was that he was going to have to tell The Man what had happened. Sunday, April 21st, evening post-game (W's 5, Mudholes 2) "I don't know what you think I can do for you," said The Man. "This kind of stuff is your thing, not mine. I just hit the ball and occasionally kill vampires." "I don't have anyone else to turn to," said Ryan. "You're the only other person I know with even a touch of The Gift. And it's not like we haven't worked together before." "All I can see is what pitch is coming next, and even then, it's only accurate about a third of the time. You know I'd help you if I could, but I just don't see what I could do for you," said The Man, but he grabbed a chair and settled down anyways. "Still, you might as well talk me through it. Who knows? Maybe brainstorming will help." "Well, it was like... a blurred cacophony. Like there were dozens of dreams trying to get through all at once, but none of them could get through because the others were all in the way. Made my head feel like it was about to go all Scanners. And with it, the worst case of deja vu ever. Like, it's all happened before, and I just can't remember it, and it's all going to happen again, and there's nothing I can do to stop it if I can't even see the dream, and sorry I'm kinda freaking out here!" "Calm down, son, calm down. We'll work this thing out. Sounds like your first step is finding some other way for the message to get out, if it can't get out in your dreams. How about Automatic Writing? Worked a charm when we teamed up to take down that robotic Charlie Gehringer." "Didn't that turn out to be the real Charlie Gehringer?" "Yeah, but we killed the gently caress out of him, so it must've worked." Monday, May 6th, late morning pre-game Ryan woke with a shriek of pain. He'd known the dreams would come back again sooner or later. He knew without even looking back at them that they were the same confused jumble as last time. But this time, he was ready. He fumbled for the notepad, blanked his thoughts as best he could, and scribbled madly. When he was done, he tossed the pad aside, having developed a far more intense interest in some pain killers than the mystery. Once he felt vaguely human, he picked up the pad. As expected, most of it was utter nonsense. But the longer he stared at it, the more he was drawn to the belief that there was a message underlying the madness. It wasn't long before the message crystallized: PROTECT THE MIDDLE Monday, May 6th, evening, post-game (Potatoes 7, Mudholes 5) "Mystery begets mystery, that's how this business works," said The Man. "It's not like this is our first rodeo. We'll figure this one out, same as always. Heh, remember when Don Sutton refused to throw a fastball until we'd solved that Tower of Hanoi?" "Yeah, it was the best game he ever pitched. We should've left it for that knucklehead Sheffield to solve; Sutton would be unhittable." "Could be a Cardinals thing. St. Louis is pretty close to the center of the US, isn't it? And we have a Cardinals feeder." "But why would we have to protect the Cardinals? Weren't you guys pretty good that year?" "Yeah, we were. But I hear tell Smasher Dynamo isn't much of a Cardinals fan. Maybe that has something to do with it?" "Maybe it has to do with the increased polarization of politics in modern American society?" "That reminds me. What year is it, exactly? Sometimes it feels like the early 21st century, sometimes it feels like a post-apocalyptic nightmarish dreamscape several centuries in the future." Friday, July 26th, late morning pre-game It had been nearly three fruitless months. The busy Super League travel schedule had limited their investigation potential, but The Man had looked into the St. Louis connection to the best of his ability. Unfortunately, nothing had come of it. Ryan, for his part, dug deep into other possible meanings for "middle", including a thorough interrogation of middle reliever Bob Lemon, but had learned little except that Bob Lemon isn't really all that good a pitcher in the Super League. For a time, it seemed as if the dreams were content with the investigation, even if it went nowhere. But eventually, they did come back. Braun stared at the notepad. This time, the message was clear as day and unmistakable: CHASE THE RABBIT Friday, July 26th, evening post-game (Bobbleheads 9, Mudholes 4) "It's gotta be Hopp. He was on the '43 Cardinals, wasn't he?" Ryan asked The Man. "Oh, no question, it's Hopp. But why? Johnny hit .224 that year, he was just a kid. He wasn't ready for the Super League," said The Man. "We both know there's more to Hopp than his bat," Ryan said. "Oh sure, sure, there's the multi-billion dollar entertainment property. But that has nothing to do with us. And besides," said The Man, "Hopp is dead. Marauder killed him. Years ago." "But it all fits! 'Protect the Middle' means St. Louis, Johnny Hopp was on that St. Louis team. He's clearly what we're supposed to protect! I think we're supposed to track him down and bring him back!" "Look, we can't just go around bringing rabbits back to life! Maybe if it was Easter we could improvise something. But in July? No way. Once you go loving around with that stuff out of season, you're into Necromancy territory." "poo poo, I let my Necromancy license lapse a few months ago. Figured I wouldn't need it in the Super League, what with the eternal youth and all." "There's another thing that's bothering me," said The Man. "I think we have enough to worry about already," said Braun. "Was Johnny Hopp always a rabbit? I seem to recall an ugly dude with a crooked nose," said The Man. Tuesday, August 13th, evening post-game (Goose Eggs 12, Mudholes 2) "That's, it, I'm through. Done. No more loving mysteries," said The Man. "But I think I've got a bead on where Marauder buried Hopp's skull!" said Ryan. "gently caress that, we have more important things to worry about. Have you noticed?" "Noticed what?" "We're like, 50 games out of first place. We're careening towards the Gauntlet. We're going to loving die, Ryan. I can't take this anymore. I have to concentrate on playing ball. I can't, I can't handle the whole Dispersal Draft thing. I'm too loving good to be dispersed!" shouted The Man. "Look, there are more important loving things going on than loving baseball. We've got some kind of weird mystery thing going on, and that always means some hell dimension is about to invade, or someone's building a robot army, or the Republicans control congress. And here you are spewing some selfish bullshit about saving your own life? I thought you were better than that," said Ryan. "I thought... I thought you were The Man." "Yeah, well, you're The Man now, Braun. Because I loving quit." Sunday, September 29th, morning pre-game Time was up. Hopp was clearly beyond his reach forever. The Middle remained unprotected, whatever it may have been. All that was left was to suck it up and face his death with dignity. Which is why it was a shame that the searing pain behind his temples had left him with a very undignified case of the dry heaves. The dreams had one last message for him. FLORIDA SEALS YOUR FATE Sunday, September 29th, late evening post-game (69-93 record, gauntlet bound) Braun kicked down the door, stormed into the apartment, and slammed Al Leiter against the wall. "What are you doing here, Mr. Braun?" asked Leiter in a quiet monotone. "What are you loving up to, Leiter? I know it was you, Sheffield doesn't have the brains and Kevin Brown's too big a coward," said Braun. "It seems you've put together many of the pieces, Mr. Braun. But I don't believe you have the whole story. Why, pray, do you even want to stop us?" Ryan flung Leiter to the floor and pulled out his gun. "You see, it took me far too long to work this out. But the Mudholes have been doomed from the start, and it all goes back to the Marlins. I should have seen it so much earlier, but it really is all about the Middle. The middle of the field, the middle of the rotation. The team was never built right to survive." "An interesting perspective, Mr. Braun, but--" "I'm not finished," continued Braun. "Because the Mudholes committed a far worse crime. 'Chase the Rabbit', you see. The Mudholes were boring. It was just a bunch of adequate but not great ballplayers battling it out with the other relegation fodder for the priviledge of an early Gauntlet exit. They had no heart, they had no soul. They were a lot like your Marlins in that regard. And that's why Smasher Dynamo is pawning off our obituary on his 'B' Team writer." "Congratulations, Mr. Braun. Well put indeed. But there is still one thing you haven't accounted for: our Device." "Your 'Device' won't do you any good where you're going," said Braun, cocking his gun. "Perhaps you should listen a little closer, Mr. Braun. I said our Device. Doctor Nen! Begin the Procedure!" A mad cackle erupted from the other room, accompanied by the unmistakable whirr of machinery. Ryan said, "What? No! I was so close!" "Very close indeed, Mr. Braun. But once again, someone has underestimated the Marlins," said Leiter. "However, do not fear. This is no mere Doomsday Device. Oh, no. Thanks to this machine, you will get a second chance. We'll all get a second chance." Braun's eyes grew wide as understanding dawned. "You... you fool! You've doomed us for all eter--" Sunday, April 21st, late morning pre-game It was one of those mornings: cold sweat, crusted eyes, searing pain behind his temples, and absolutely no recollection of the previous night. Unpleasant, but nothing out of the ordinary for Ryan Braun. After all these years, he was finally getting used to the price. Now it was just a matter of recalling what he'd been told, before it slipped from his mind.
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# ? Nov 24, 2012 04:34 |
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Pick 'em picks Cleveland and Norfolk Draft priorities Updated for more specificity/confusion/headaches http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3499603&pagenumber=129#post409909350 Faustoan Bargain fucked around with this message at 06:35 on Nov 25, 2012 |
# ? Nov 24, 2012 05:13 |
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Draft preferences: Stan the Man!! e: First round: Stan Musial or comparable corner outfielder Second round: best shortstop available, I guess? It's a little hard to list my preferences until I start to see who the people in front of me pick. tatankatonk fucked around with this message at 00:11 on Nov 25, 2012 |
# ? Nov 24, 2012 06:51 |
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Ok, fixes. Lineup: vs. RHP: 1. 2B Frankie Frisch 2. LF Fred Clarke 3. SS Honus Wagner 4. DH Barry Bonds 5. 1B Mark McGwire 6. CF Ken Griffey Jr. 7. 3B Darrell Evans 8. RF Ross Youngs 9. C Brian McCann vs. LHP: 1. SS Frankie Frisch 2. 2B Billy Herman 3. RF Honus Wagner 4. DH Barry Bonds 5. 1B Mark McGwire 6. LF Fred Clarke 7. 3B Darrell Evans 8. CF Hack Wilson 9. C Russell Martin Bench: 2B Billy Herman SS Rafael Furcal# C Russell Martin CF Hack Wilson 1B George Kelly Minors: Dwight Evans Nomar Garciaparra Cliff Floyd Rotation: SP Deacon Phillippe (1903) SP Sam Leever (1903) SP Cy Falkenberg (1908) SP Art Nehf* (1924) SP Jason Schmidt (2007) Bullpen: CL Takashi Saito (2007) SU Jonathan Broxton (2007) SR Hong-Chih Kuo* (2007) SR Ugueth Urbina (2003) MR Virgil Barnes (1924) LR Derek Lowe (2007) Minors: SP Jack Scott (1924) SP Chad Billingsley (2007) SP Brad Penny (2007) Sliders: Pitching Around Good Hitters: +1 Starting Pitchers on Short Rest: -1 Letting Pitchers rack up high pitch counts: -1
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# ? Nov 24, 2012 06:56 |
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EC Cup is a 2-3-2 Barons - Bloggers - Baron's deal. Bloggers park: Solid hitters park that suppresses home runs but has good BA, doubles and triples Barons Park: Essentially a neutral park.
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# ? Nov 24, 2012 06:59 |
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Wherein I overthink everything and begin to understand why baseball managers do so much dumb poo poo irl. vs RHP, No DH CF Kirby Puckett LF Barry Bonds 1B George Grantham RF Babe Herman C Ernie Lombardi (incidentally, make sure there are no personal catchers set please) 2B Dick McAuliffe SS Luis Aparicio 3B Brooks Robinson P vs RHP, DH CF Kirby Puckett DH Barry Bonds 1B Kent Hrbek RF Babe Herman LF Lenny Dykstra 2B George Grantham C Ernie Lombardi 3B Brooks Robinson SS Dick McAuliffe vs LHP, no DH RF Babe Herman CF Kirby Puckett 3B Brooks Robinson LF Barry Bonds C Ernie Lombardi 1B George Grantham SS Luis Aparicio 2B Dick McAuliffe P vs LHP, DH RF Babe Herman CF Kirby Puckett 3B Brooks Robinson LF Barry Bonds DH Ernie Lombardi 2B George Grantham 1B Kent Hrbek SS Luis Aparicio C Bill Freehan Rotation Dobson Lolich Pappas McNally McLain *** In the event of a Game 7, the starter should be Pappas and NOT Lolich. If I'm not allowed then take McLain out. Sliders Hit and Run: 0 Sac Bunt: -3 Extra bases: 0 Stealing: -1 IBB: -1 Pitching around: -1 PH: -2 PR: -3 Short Rest: -5
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# ? Nov 24, 2012 08:16 |
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Mornacale posted:Finally, gingemidget, I believe you will find that you missed my picks for the most recent Gauntlet round and hence I should have more points. Unless I'm confused and/or stupid. Those are round four picks, the last update was for Gauntlet round three (it's always the Gauntlet round before whichever playoff series, so those picks will go with the Dervishes/Bangers series tonight). I'm roughly a half-update behind Smasher right now, which combined with the same teams going through twice probably is a bit confusing.
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# ? Nov 24, 2012 11:42 |
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So I can get something going here, let's update the pitching staff. Mullin should be in AAA, Jimmy Fuckin' Key should be long relief because gently caress Oil Can Boyd, that's why, and the starting rotation should be a 4 man rotation, with Verlander/Brown/Summers/John. Tom Seaver is my Mopup.
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# ? Nov 24, 2012 20:13 |
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Round 1: First choice is George Brett, second is Eddie Collins, and then A-Rod I guess. Round 2: Yogi Berra, then in the almost certain case he's taken, Eddie Collins or A-Rod, and if those two are taken, best SS or 2B available as long as I got George Brett in the first round. If I didn't get Brett in the first round, well, I'll most likely revise these picks. Round 3: BPA I guess
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# ? Nov 24, 2012 21:04 |
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# ? May 14, 2024 06:14 |
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Okay, here comes a lot of stuff. First, Dispersal Draft Priorities 1st round: Best 3B or 2B available, unless a substantially better SP is available 2nd round: Best Starting Pitcher available, unless an SP was taken in the first round, in which case draft the best 3B/MIF/CF available. 3rd round: Best player available Second, EC Cup Finals Lineups VSR, with DH: SS Honus Wagner 1B Carl Yastrzemski LF Stan Musial DH Jim Rice C Carlton Fisk RF Enos Slaughter 2B Red Schoendienst 3B Buddy Bell CF Fred Lynn VSL, with DH SS Honus Wagner 1B Carl Yastrzemski LF Stan Musial DH Jim Rice C Carlton Fisk RF Max Carey 2B Red Schoendienst 3B Buddy Bell CF Fred Lynn VSR, no DH: SS Honus Wagner CF Fred Lynn LF Stan Musial 1B Carl Yastrzemski C Carlton Fisk RF Enos Slaughter 2B Red Schoendienst 3B Buddy Bell P Pitcher VSL, no DH: SS Honus Wagner CF Fred Lynn LF Stan Musial 1B Jim Rice C Carlton Fisk RF Max Carey 2B Red Schoendienst 3B Buddy Bell P Pitcher Rotation: SP1 Babe Adams SP2 Mike Torrez SP3 Wilbur Cooper SP4 Claude Hendrix Bullpen: Mopup: Howie Camnitz Closer: Bob Stanley Setup: Dennis Eckersley Short Relief: Andy Hassler Short Relief: Lefty Leifield Middle Relief: Marty O'Toole Long Relief: Dick Drago Third, Pick 'Em Picks Splinter Cells and Comancheros to advance
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# ? Nov 25, 2012 01:48 |