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It's a good thing that Buddy Bell is a mediocre bench bat, otherwise I'd be concerned. Still, DL Buddy Bell and promote Max Carey. Also, send Garak and Major Kira to negotiate with Gul Dukat to prevent any more such injuries. Hijinks will surely ensue. Oh, and get some drat gyros.
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Dec 23, 2012 05:09
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I'm torn. Gyros are the best option, but so is cute monster raising. I'll flip a coin. B
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Dec 23, 2012 05:22
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C! This needs to be done, post-haste!
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Dec 23, 2012 05:39
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B.
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Dec 23, 2012 05:41
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What's a gyros? Donner meat? Put that poo poo in a calzone and make it a multicultural tastebud orgy! What I'm saying is C.
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Dec 23, 2012 06:43
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ForeverBWFC posted:What's a gyros? Donner meat? Put that poo poo in a calzone and make it a multicultural tastebud orgy! What I'm saying is C. It's a doner kebab yeah.
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Dec 23, 2012 06:50
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My vaguely greek heritage demands that I vote for C!
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Dec 23, 2012 06:54
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I vote for plan B.
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Dec 23, 2012 07:22
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I'm stuck phoneposting in a Las Vegas airport hotel, so it's a Christmas miracle for you Smasher: no lineup changes! However, I beg your indulgence of going to my spreadsheet and putting all the slider settings I have noted as for home games into effect. Finally, I say Mark trains them to make gyros !  Happy holidays, everyone.
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Dec 23, 2012 08:16
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Gyros sound delicious. C.
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Dec 23, 2012 08:34
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Mornacale posted:I'm stuck phoneposting in a Las Vegas airport hotel, so it's a Christmas miracle for you Smasher: no lineup changes! You get one set of sliders, because otherwise I'd have to manually edit them multiple times a week, and I just can't do that. Sorry. Super-Draft News Assuming no one has a problem with it, we'll do the live draft again and, for that to work, I'll set the draft order earlier than usual, let's say, at the end of Week 7. More information on that to come.
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Dec 23, 2012 09:22
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 Gotta go for the gyros. C Also, to deal with the Rickey Henderson injury, send him down, recall Happy Felsch. New lineup for now: code:
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Dec 23, 2012 14:51
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Smasher Dynamo posted:You get one set of sliders, because otherwise I'd have to manually edit them multiple times a week, and I just can't do that. Sorry. No, that's cool. I just have those as notes to myself, but since I can't edit my spreadsheet easily on my phone and I play this whole week at home, I'm asking you to use those numbers for this whole week.
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Dec 23, 2012 15:13
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A man can't go on a pointless sidequest in any jRPG without some food so C it is. Chick Haley is coming off DL in a day, so we'll drop him in 1B. Niekro is a disaster but so is everyone else, so Tiant goes to DL while Reuschel is rescued from AA and put into LR again. I guess I'll ride it out for a bit longer before panicking.
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Dec 23, 2012 16:50
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Frankly, who cares about gyros? There's grinding to be done down in the sewers. Option A!
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Dec 23, 2012 18:18
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Dynamo League Week 5 Injury Report Burma Imperialists David Wells (SP) (End of Empire) - 9 days Cancun Tornados Roy Campanella (C) (Hurt Hand Punching...) - 7 days Jeff Montgomery (RP) (...Montgomery in the jaw) - 29 days
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Dec 23, 2012 18:55
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 Adjusted lineup in anticipation of Torre's return! code:
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Dec 23, 2012 19:12
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 Super-League VIII, Smasher League Week 4: The Graham Harrell Experience Games of the Week Don May posted:
Box Score   Don May posted:
Box Score   It's Time! It's Time! It's TV Title Time!  : And we're back for more Television Title Defenses! : Does anyone actually read these?: I don't think that anyone reads anything in these updates. : Oh.: Yeah. Anyway, the Arguments, having won the TV Title last week, are about to be in for the fight of their lives, as the Whalers are back and they want to reclaim the TV Title they lost last week...and the Arguments will take the first game, thanks to four home runs from their sluggers.: The Whalers' Carlton aren't the most consistent pitchers, and sometimes, especially against a lineup with a lot of power hitters, things can fall apart for him. : Whalers tie up the series, and this will go to Game 3.: The Whalers have two great contact hitters in Boggs and Collins up top to start off their lineup, and that's a good thing to have in front of your power hitters. That wasn't the decisive factor here, but it certainly didn't hurt.  : And the Whalers become two-time Television Champions with an 8-6 win.: Not the prettiest of games, but the Whalers' offense really has the chance to be something special with all of those sluggers. I'm still not sold on the bottom third of their lineup, but it hasn't held them back so far. : The Whalers won't get a lot of time to celebrate, though, as they now have a 4-game set with the Gumshoes.: Gumshoes one of the most heroic teams in Super-League history, having banished the Wausau Woodchucks to the land of eternal twilight from whence no man can e'er return!: And we're all grateful. And the Gumshoes will power their way to a Game 1 win.: It's an uphill battle, though, because they'll have to win three out of four games to win the TV Title. : And here comes the Big Oh! He'll hit two home runs, and that will give the Gumshoes another game, meaning they only need to win one of the next two games to become the new Television Champions!: The Gumshoes' great run continues, although you have to wonder if their rotation is ever going to be consistent enough to make them true contenders. : The Gumshoes offense continues to impress, and they have won the Television Championship, meaning that they are now double-champions!: That's right, but since the Larkin-Downing Award can change hands on any sufficiently impressive enough comeback, the Whalers can still come out of this series with something. : It's not going to happen today, though, the Gumshoes complete a four-game sweep, and the Whalers are reeling.: The Whalers gave up over six runs a game this series, I would say most of the fault has to go to their pitching, which was just awful this series. : And that's that. The Gumshoes will carry the TV Title into next week where they'll face the failures. Pending the outcome, we'll see either the Gumshoes-Arguments, with the Arguments trying to recapture the TV Title, or Failures-Barons. It probably won't kill you to read it!Team Statistics      Analysis I'd suggest platooning Yaz and Evans, but I think Yaz is a bit old for that.      Analysis According to DICE, Strasburg is one of the best pitchers in the league. Sure doesn't make that 9.62 ERA look any more sightly, though, does it?      Analysis I claim victory in the great Del Ennis debate. Now put Drew in there already!      Analysis It may be time to make peace with the fact that Marauder is clearly some sort of evil wizard.      Analysis Poor Whalers, that TV Title was the only thing that made Hartford worthwhile as a city.      Analysis In two weeks, if they retain both titles, there will be a chance for a triple-unification match against the Landers.      Analysis So, uh, can you return Tejada now? He's not doing so good.      Analysis The core of your lineup is strong, it's just that everything else is kind of a disaster.      Analysis The Big Unit is gaining strength! Who can stop the Mashers now? Well, besides the two teams ahead of them in the standings...      Analysis MATH HAS FAILED US!      Analysis I think it's too early to give up on McCovey. Also, you might as well try Roberts somewhere.      Analysis The Phoenixes: Still in your head.      Analysis Well, at least you've bottomed out. I mean, it can't get much worse.      Analysis Sweeney is sucking...but you don't have any spare 1Bs, so, you're stuck with him for now.      Analysis : Come on, BWFC, put me into Tesreau's spot in the rotation! Do it! DOITDOITDOITDOITDOITDOIT! Do it! You know you want to! Why fight it! I'd totally be the awesomest starting pitcher ever! Please?     Analysis That pitching is going to be the death of your team. Standings and Leaders      A. Fight through the sewers to reach the airport! - 2 votes B. Embark on the Coyotecoon-raising sidequest! - 6 votes C. Get a gyros! - 10 votes Clearly, it is time for Mark Grace to get a gyros. I mean, coyotecoons are great and all, but they taste terrible. Mark Grace got back in his Mazda 626 and starting heading up McCormick. It being Chicagoland, there were many places nearby that he could get a gyros from, but, in his heart, he knew that he had to go to Hub's. Now, at this juncture, it is worth discussing just what a gyros is, as there has been some confusion on this point. The meat in a gyros is, in fact, essentially the same thing as a doner kebab. A doner kebab, in case you don't know, is a preparation of meat where a large stack of meat is placed on a vertical spit, and then roasted slowly. Strips of meat are then cut from the stacks, and served, usually in a pita. In the United States, the meat used is typically a combination of beef and lamb. It is served, at least in the Chicago area, with a yogurt-cucumber sauce and sliced onions and tomatoes. Parking at the restaurant, Mark made his way to the counter, and looked over the menu. On the television in the corner of the dining room, various political commentators debated whether or not the world would be better off if Berlusconi awakened Yaltabothener, with one pundit noting that, "Should a majority of the developed world be destroyed as Yaltabothener devours the souls of millions, the price of oil will probably fall, and that might be just what the economy needs to get back on track." The cashier asked Mark what he wanted, and he ordered a gyros sandwich, as distinct from the larger gyros plate, which, Grace figured, he really didn't have time to deal with. The cashier told him it would be $7.67. DECISION TIME! What will Mark Grace do next? A. Pay with a credit card! B. Pay with cash! C. Raise a Coyotecoon skilled enough to win you $7.67 in the Coyotecoon arena!
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Dec 24, 2012 02:32
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I want nothing more than to own a Coyotecoon.
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Dec 24, 2012 02:58
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I have an uncle in NY who pays for everything in cash and doesn't own a debit card or credit card because he believes that credit is the scourge of the economy and the reason why the United States is crumbling under our feet. I don't like my uncle. A.
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Dec 24, 2012 05:23
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A winning week and a Seahawks win! Today has been great  B.
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Dec 24, 2012 05:49
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Gyros LEAD TO Coyotecoon raising? SIGN ME UP!
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Dec 24, 2012 06:01
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Annoying, the leftie starting pitching I'm carrying to beat the phoenixes only played 1 game against the phoenixes, which FRank Tanana won it looks like, and then the other two lefties played the mashers lineup of righties and got loving hammered. I've got to be more careful with this. Edit: Related note, do I need to do something about Larry Walker, or is he just unlucky. It looks like his clone Walker is hitting, so is it just bad luck? He's got a caddy for right handers and everything. His career away slash line is BA .278 OBP .370 SLG .495 I'm considering moving Ott to RF and calling up Musial he is annoying me so much. I know how old mel ott is Edit 2: Also, is Yount the Younger just not showing any defensive stats because he's not playing CF, or is it something more concerning? I'm pretty sure we don't have any Earth-2 cash or credit, so let's go with C Cthulhu Dreams fucked around with this message at 08:15 on Dec 24, 2012 |
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Dec 24, 2012 06:24
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Credit Card, I am sure Mark Grace has amazing credit. A
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Dec 24, 2012 06:47
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Cthulhu Dreams posted:Annoying, the leftie starting pitching I'm carrying to beat the phoenixes only played 1 game against the phoenixes, which FRank Tanana won it looks like, and then the other two lefties played the mashers lineup of righties and got loving hammered. I've got to be more careful with this. In fact, the Big Train won the game against me, and Tanana didn't win this week, but I hate to discourage your paranoia. Send down Bill Dickey, call up and start Schnozz Lombardi. Mark Grace should acquire his gyros sandwich in exchange for 
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Dec 24, 2012 07:04
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Well, at least I've started hitting a little. At this point I'll take anything that says my team still has some talent, not just a horribly constructed mess doomed to fail its first Gauntlet. Clemente and Stargell are just that sort of glimmer of hope. Along with Gio Gonzalez, who appears to be some sort of luck-vampire who has stolen every bit of good fortune due more talented pitchers. I'm starting to suspect some sort of jinx on Maddux that will make me want Tejada back even if he doesn't play badly enough to trigger the Landers' insurance. Everyone wants a Coyotecoon.
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Dec 24, 2012 08:14
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Willie Horton to the minors, Manny Ramirez back from the DL. Lineup: LF Raines 2B Collins CF DiMaggio C Gibson (Bailey for Richard) DH Ramirez RF Aaron 3B Brett 1B Nomar SS Tejada Faustoan Bargain posted:
I've seen enough of Tejada to know I don't particularly want him anymore. Any time you're ready to take him back, I'll happily activate the insurance clause early. Tejada back for the draft pick? That gives you a chance to see if Maddux turns it around, and a better defensive option at short than Mora.
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Dec 24, 2012 09:28
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Faustoan Bargain posted:Well, at least I've started hitting a little. At this point I'll take anything that says my team still has some talent, not just a horribly constructed mess doomed to fail its first Gauntlet. Clemente and Stargell are just that sort of glimmer of hope. Along with Gio Gonzalez, who appears to be some sort of luck-vampire who has stolen every bit of good fortune due more talented pitchers. What do you want for Maddux? I can accept a similar insurance clause if you have to unwind the trade. I've got both pitching and hitting that is better than yours, as well as three hall of fame shortstops so I can probably part with one. Cthulhu Dreams fucked around with this message at 10:40 on Dec 24, 2012 |
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Dec 24, 2012 10:37
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Man, by the end of this season, this thread is going to have 20 views a day, and half of them will be mine. Smasher League Week 5 Injury Report Cuba Smokers Keith Hernandez (1B) (Realized most enduring memory of himself was his guest appearance on Seinfeld, got depressed) - 62 days New England Arguments Bret Saberhagen (SP) (It's Bret Saberhagen, an injury was inevitable) - 27 days Oxbridge Mathematicians Johnny Damon (OF) (Long lines at the NHS) - 7 days Philadelphia Failures Roy Oswalt (SP) (Visited by three spirits...who beat the poo poo out of Oswalt for a lack of Christmas Spirit) - 8 days
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Dec 24, 2012 19:48
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Voting B for the obit story.
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Dec 24, 2012 21:06
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Sorry for getting anyone's hopes up, I was mostly being facetious about how bad most of my pitching has been lately - I'm still new enough to SL (and hadn't done Mogul in a long while before that) that I'm at a loss for how guys with great overall ratings can flop so terribly in results. (Other than small sample size, which is what I have to cling to here.)mrnoun posted:I've seen enough of Tejada to know I don't particularly want him anymore. Any time you're ready to take him back, I'll happily activate the insurance clause early. Let's see how things play out till the draft, because I'm honestly shocked he hasn't shown any power. If his on-base/defense get bad enough to trigger insurance, I'd like to see where my team stands in a month to better judge if my survival will be better aided by Maddux or the pick. Cthulhu Dreams posted:What do you want for Maddux? I can accept a similar insurance clause if you have to unwind the trade. I've got both pitching and hitting that is better than yours, as well as three hall of fame shortstops so I can probably part with one. I'll take a look at your roster when I don't have holiday-related activities squeezing my free time (let alone Baseball Ref-ing, number-crunching, spreadsheeting time) - as happy as I am to see Mora giving offensive value, my underperforming pitching says I might really benefit from a shortstop who can field as well as give some offense, and I'm not sure Yount qualifies enough to outright downgrade the rotation. But again, I won't rule anything out, just have to take a harder look at your roster later in the week.
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Dec 24, 2012 21:43
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Smasher Dynamo posted:Man, by the end of this season, this thread is going to have 20 views a day, and half of them will be mine. AAAAAAAAAAAARGH. Fine, whatever. Clemens should be fit again soon, so slot him into Saberhagen's spot in the rotation. That should make the rotation: 1. Wakefield 2. Halladay 3. Clemens 4. Stottlemeyer 5. Some eejit I picked up in the draft
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Dec 24, 2012 21:46
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Don't worry Smasher the other 10 views will be mine although I hardly have anything interesting to say and thus don't post alot. Anyhow Merry Christmas to you all.
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Dec 24, 2012 23:16
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Since all jRPG sidequests take no narrative time, let's go raise some Coyotecoons. Merry Christmas to all in Earth-2, if the holiday still exists!
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Dec 24, 2012 23:17
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 For when third-best is good enough! Owner: mooseontheloose Location: Brookline, MA Home Grounds: TFK Memorial Stadium Teams Used 1917 Cleveland Indians 1946 Washington Senators 1948 Boston Braves 1993 Texas Rangers Past Records Expansion Cup VI 77-85, 3rd Place, Johnny Hopp Division Super-League VII 79-83, 2nd Place, Skyhawks Memorial Division Gauntlet VI Round 8: 8-32, 4th Place, Relegated  : Well, guys, it's almost Christmas, and what better way to celebrate than with the Adam Dunn Christmas Special! Now, I wasn't able to finish it in time, so I'll have to fill in the gaps a bit...INT. OVAL OFFICE - DAY Adam Dunn enters the room escorted by Secret Services agents. President Obama, sitting behind his behind his desk, stands up to greet him. PRESIDENT OBAMA (gesturing to the Secret Service Agents) Okay, I can take it from here. SECRET SERVICE AGENT #1 Very good, Mr. President. The agents leave the room, leaving Adam Dunn and President Obama alone. PRESIDENT OBAMA (gesturing to a couch in the middle of the room) Please, take a seat, Mr. Dunn. ADAM DUNN (sitting in the couch) Mr. President, I'd like to know what's going on here. PRESIDENT OBAMA (sitting in a couch opposite Adam Dunn) Well, Mr. Dunn, it turns out that we've got a bit of problem. And we could use your help. ADAM DUNN A problem? On Christmas Eve? PRESIDENT OBAMA And that's the thing of it, Mr. Dunn, if we don't solve this crisis, there's not going to be any Christmas to have an eve of! ADAM DUNN (skeptical) A world without Christmas, that's impossible! PRESIDENT OBAMA Well, actually, the vast majority of human existence took place before the invention of Christmas, so it would technically be possible, and, in fact, the majority of people on this world don't celebrate Christmas, so- ADAM DUNN (irritated) But I think we can both agree that a world without Christmas is not worth living in, right? PRESIDENT OBAMA Again, that would be tantamount to saying that the vast majority of the human race do not have lives worth living. ADAM DUNN (even more frustrated) But it must be pretty dire, otherwise you wouldn't have called me. PRESIDENT OBAMA Yes, well, I certainly don't want to be known as the president who lost Christmas, I get enough of that from Fox News already. ADAM DUNN So, what do you mean Christmas is in trouble? PRESIDENT OBAMA Three days ago, Santa Claus and his operation on the North Pole were seized by unknown agents. ADAM DUNN My god. PRESIDENT OBAMA That's right, and we're pretty sure that the ringleader of these terrorists is Steve Bartman! ADAM DUNN Bartman? But why? Has he issued any ransom demands? PRESIDENT OBAMA Now, Mr. Dunn, that is simply not Bartman's M.O. Bartman is not a man who cares for material possessions or anything else, he simply wants to make others suffer. ADAM DUNN So, you want me to head up to the North Pole in order to stop him? PRESIDENT OBAMA That's right, Mr. Dunn, only your extreme sabermetric skills can possibly save Christmas now. ADAM DUNN (determined) Then it looks like it's time...to take...and rake! : Right. So, at this point, I'm forced to start my journey to the North Pole, including a motorcycle chase scene through Cincinnati that ends with the entire city being destroyed by a tinsel bomb. Eventually, though, I'm able to find my way to the Canadian border, but that's where my troubles just get started...INT. CUSTOMS OFFICE - NIGHT Adam Dunn is brought into the office, where CANADIAN OFFICIAL is waiting for him, sitting in a chair at a table. OFFICIAL (officious) Sit down, Mr. Dunn. Adam Dunn sits down OFFICIAL We know why you're here, and we're not happy about it. You should now that the route your going on passes through Canadian soil, and we're not in the habit of allowing foreign countries to engage in paramilitary operations without our consent. ADAM DUNN (angrY) drat it, don't any of you understand what's going on here? The fate of Christmas is at stake! OFFICIAL (diffident) Be that as it may, we're not preparing to sacrifice out sovereignty, not even for Christmas. ADAM DUNN And that's why Steve Bartman is going to win again. OFFICIAL Yes, well that's not- A knocking is heard at the door. Official gets up and answers it, and another official whispers something in his ear. He leaves the room while Adam Dunn waits nervously. After about ten seconds, MATT STAIRS enters the room. ADAM DUNN (annoyed) Ugh. What do you want? What are you even doing here? Did some team trade you to the Canadian government or something? MATT STAIRS (cocky) You know the difference between me and you, Adam? We both suck at making contact, neither of us can field- ADAM DUNN (even more annoyed) Is it that I'm about a foot taller than you? Or that I'm actually a legitimate Major League Player? Or that a team would actually sign me for a contract longer than one year? MATT STAIRS (smiling) No, Adam, it's that people actually like me. ADAM DUNN Who likes you? MATT STAIRS (defensive) A lot of people. Phillies fans. Moneyball fans. Some people in Montreal, probably... ADAM DUNN Winners all! MATT STAIRS Listen, I'm trying to help you out. I can get you free passage to the North Pole, but I've got to come with you. ADAM DUNN I don't know, I work better alone. MATT STAIRS (frustrated) And that's why the fans don't like you! You need to learn to work as a team. Believe me, Adam, the day is going to come when you realize that you can't do everything alone. ADAM DUNN (resigned) I guess I don't have much choice, do I? : Me and Matt Stairs then continue our overland journey, and he keeps trying to sell me on the importance of teamwork, but I'm too stubborn to listen. Eventually, we get ambushed by ninjas sent by Bartman, and Stairs sacrifices his life to save me from a bullet...or a sword...I don't know, hadn't written that part yet. Anyway, he does eventually make it to the North Pole...NORTH POLE - INT Adam Dunn bursts into the room to see Steve Bartman and LEON TROTSKY pointing their guns at SANTA CLAUS. STEVE (nervous) Stop right there, Adam Dunn! One more step and St. Nick gets it right in the neck! Isn't that right, Leon Trotsky? LEON (confident) That's correct, my American friend. Finally, I will be able to deal a blow to the greatest two poisons that are killing the workers of America: Materialism and the corrupted religion that condones such excesses. Once we have freed the workers, they will rise up in revolt against their plutocratic masters and form a workers' state! ADAM DUNN (confused, under his breath) Leon Trotsky? (swaggering) Yeah, last time you tried that, it didn't work out to well for you or Russia! LEON Indeed, but that was our own fault. Marx had written that a true Communist revolution would take place in an industrialized nation but we Bolsheviks, ignoring the Menshevik plea for patience, instigated our rebellion in a land that was still largely pastoral. And so we reaped our own whirlwind, as it were. ADAM DUNN (defiant) Yeah, well, there may be two of you but- MATT STAIRS (V.O.) (ghostly) The day is going to come when you realize that you can't do everything alone... ADAM DUNN (wistfully) Stairs... (forcefully) You know Steve, it occurs to me that 2-on-1 isn't the best way to settle things. STEVE Agreed. There's only one fair way to settle this... ADAM DUNN That's right, a tag-team wrestling match to determine whether Christmas lives or dies! STEVE Exactly! Now, Trotsky is my tag partner, but Mr. Stairs is dead, so I don't know who you can get on this short notice... ADAM DUNN (smirking) Oh, you let me handle that. Ladies and gentleman, introducing my tag partner, from Chicago, Illinois and weighing in at 215 pounds, the Straight-Edge Messiah, CM Punk! "Cult of Personality" starts playing as CM PUNK enters the North Pole Fortress. Both Bartman and Trotsky are shocked at this turn of events. STEVE (terrfied) CM Punk?! But you don't even like Christmas...or anything else that's fun! CM PUNK That's right, I don't, and there's nothing less fun in the world than being a Cubs fan, Bartman! : And then, I don't know, I guess Adam Dunn wins...or something. Holy gently caress, it's Christmas! What do you all want from me?
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Dec 25, 2012 00:05
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B - Always pay with cash!
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Dec 25, 2012 00:32
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Faustoan Bargain posted:
All good - trade opportunities are rare so I figured I'd get my oar in. I'm happy to move multiple pieces as well. Merry Christmas as well Commissioner and owners!
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Dec 25, 2012 02:46
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That obit rules. Merry Christmas, y'all.
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Dec 25, 2012 02:52
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 Super-League VIII, Dynamo League Week 5: Not a Christmas Miracle at all! Games of the Week Don May posted:
Box Score   Don May posted:
Box Score   Always Hardcore! : Hardcore defenses! Go now! Start!: Uh, okay, first up, Dervishes are the reigning champs and they'll take on the Imperialists!: Imperialists lose!: They do lose game 1, that's for sure. And it still seems crazy that Viscount Slim can't find a better shortstop than Renteria. : Dervishes win Game 2 and retain!: Um...is there a reason that you're talking like that?: I've grown weary of...well, everything. Let's just move this along. : Imperialists take the final game of the series, so at least they are complete failures...just mostly failures.: Their hitters just haven't been doing well at all this season. They could turn it around, though. The Memento Mori is stronger than last year, though... : Okay, let's hurry this along. Next up, the Unspecifieds will try to add to their Intercontinental Championship by winning the Hardcore title.: Two teams built on finesse. Not a lot of power bats or arms, but defense and control pitching mainly. : Dervishes win Game 1, and they need to win just one of the next three games in order to retain the Hardcore Title. : Unspecifieds win, so they still have a chance to win the Hardcore Title.: Any time that Doug Fister can throw a complete game in the Super-League, you know that you aren't exactly facing a dominating offense, although, I think that even Beet would admit that the Dervishes aren't centered around power hitting. : Unspecifieds win again, and so it will go to Game 4 to determine who will hold the Hardcore championship. And, having been shut out by Jim Perry, you've got to wonder if the Dervishes have enough of an offense to win a Super-League Championship.: It's definitely a question worth asking at this point. A good team will find a way to score more than two runs in eighteen innings against Doug Fister and Jim Perry. : And the Unspecifieds will take the series with a third straight win! : Another complete game by an Unspecifieds' pitcher, and there has to be some conversation about the Dervishes' offense now, because this was just a miserable performance from them. Beet doesn't necessarily have to do anything, but he certainly has to think about what went wrong here. : And the Unspecifieds' win sets up a title defense against the Bloggers next week, and if the Bloggers win, I riot. Pending that result, we'll see either Unspecs-Pessimists or Bloggers-Oranges.Team Statistics       Analysis Jason Kendall, team-killer!       Analysis Having one's team led by no-power, all-contact hitters isn't exactly how you'd draw it up on a spreadsheet, but it is working.       Analysis Why can't the Imperialists hit?       Analysis Time to Nuke 'em with Newcombe!       Analysis Still having their best season in a while, even if Griffey is starting off very slowly.       Analysis Maybe you're just cursed, Warm Sarsaparilla, I mean, your teams always underperform their Pythagorean records.       Analysis Also underperforming, mainly because your new acquisitions are mired in extended slumps. You probably just have to grin and bear it, I'm afraid.       Analysis Your hitters are unanimous in their message to you, oldskoll: "gently caress off and die!" They can be mean.       Analysis 'Twas the night before Christmas, and your team still sucked...       Analysis Bangers continue to smash puny competition.       Analysis I guess CthulhuDreams was leery of Frank Smith for good reason.       Analysis IMMORTALITY! Even if Jack Morris appears to hate you.       Analysis Wow, your hitting has really bottomed out. I think Gwynn might completely collapse before the end of the season at this rate.       Analysis Pete Rose can play third. Just saying.       Analysis THREE WEEKS OF SPACE JAM POWER REMAINING!       Analysis So? Another ten million lineup changes this, right? Standings and Leaders     A. Pay with a credit card! - 2 votes B. Pay with cash! - 3 votes C. Raise a Coyotecoon skilled enough to win you $7.67 in the Coyotecoon arena! - 5 votes  : Wait! That's uh...kind of close! I demand a recount!Credit UZWorm MooseontheLoose Cash Pungry Marauder ToiletofSadness Coyotecoon Monicro Senerio CthulhuDreams FaustoanBargain kw0134 : Man, gently caress all of you.Mark Grace wanted that gyros, but cruel fate had destroyed those dreams, at least for the moment. Instead, he would have to train a coyotecoon in order to make enough money to afford a gyros. Stopping by the local forest preserve, where the coyotecoons roamed free. He would need to find a suitable critter to train into the greatest coyotecoon warrior of all-time. But, since they were all essentially the same in the wild, any of them would do. Getting his capture sack, Mark shoved one of the animals inside and then drew back the string, sealing it inside. He didn't have time for any of this bullshit, he needed a loving gyros! Driving back to his house on Earth-1, Mark opened up the sack in his basement which, presciently, he had already converted into a gym, perfect for the training of his new coyotecoon. But training the animal to fight wasn't the important part. No, the big money wouldn't come from technical skill, but from the potency of the gimmick. See, the masses found it difficult to distinguish between coyotecoons, and so, the only way to really make these fights 'pop' for them was to create distinctive mannerisms and personalities that would allow people to latch onto particular coyotecoons as their favorites. Fortunately, Mark Grace had the perfect idea. Henceforth, his coyotecoon would be known as "The Loose Coonen, li'l Brian Pillman!" You'll need to get him a little leather vest to make the look complete, though. Also, teach him how to bug out his eyes on cue. It's not going to be easy, but nothing worth doing ever is! DECISION TIME! Will Mark Grace... A. Realize that raising animals to fight each other for his own material gain is wrong and head to an Ashram in order to find some sort of spiritual redemption? B. Enter li'l Brian Pillman in the Rank D Coyotecon Tournament! C. Wait, if we're back on Earth-1, then we have money, and so can just get that gyros! VOTE...please?
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Dec 25, 2012 03:32
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 Alright gently caress two-thirds of that experiment 1. Joe Jackson RF 2. Nap Lajoie 2B 3. Eddie Murray 1B 4. Ron Santo 3B 5. Billy Williams LF 6. Tim Raines CF 7. Gary Carter C 8. Odell Hale SS P And for the obit, B.
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Dec 25, 2012 04:27
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