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Mordiceius posted:Here are some crappy blurry pictures I took with my iPhone! I really like your choice of ring and stones - congratulations in advance of the engagement! Do you have specs for the sizes of the stones? You say they're not big but they look a decent size. Eloping is starting to look extremely tempting on our end. My mother texted me today to say that my uncles, her brothers, may well turn up for the wedding. I have not given my mother leave for inviting anyone, least of all my mother's side of the family which all live in a different country an 8 hour flight away. They're all religious and would most likely expect a formal, religious, expensive event full of pomp and splendour - we're having a super casual outdoor picnic with a dozen people attending at best, and definitely non-religious (maybe even slightly medieval since we're looking into the handfasting thing). What the hell, Ma?! They'd only turn up so they can talk about me in hushed tones back in the old country about how Westernized and a godless whore their niece has turned out to be, my mother will be deeply shamed, and she'll proceed to take it out on me for the rest of my life. And before anyone says I may be overreacting early of time - I do deeply, sincerely hope none of this is the case, but 28 years of observing my mother and her side of the family has not given me encouraging evidence to the contrary. Part of the reason I'm marrying my fiance is because his family, compared to mine, is blissfully well-adjusted, normal, sane, kind, friendly and loving. Poor folks probably don't quite realise what they're getting into with him marrying me  So much for thinking I'd get away from wedding/family drama by doing this on the cheap and quiet.
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Dec 21, 2012 14:50
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Regarding non-fresh flower bouquets--there are some really lovely feather bouquets on etsy. Might be fun for something different!
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Dec 21, 2012 19:25
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benjai posted:I bought silk flowers! For me, the silk flowers were sooo much cheaper, plus getting hold of purple roses in March seemed kind of hard. But the most important factor for me, was being able to keep the bouquet. My parents had a silk bouquet when they got married, and it still sits on a shelf in a vase at their home. That's the website I was looking at! Did you like yours/feel like it was good quality? I don't want it to look tacky 
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Dec 21, 2012 22:05
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Everyone I've showed the bouquet to so far has said it's gorgeous, and I'm really, really pleased. I think it's beautiful, and the petals feel so soft to touch. They're really good quality. I'm probably going to try and find some wet look spray or something, because that's really all that's missing, the wet look fresh roses can get. I'm really, really pleased
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Dec 23, 2012 08:53
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I'm looking at buying a ring, and I'm wondering what the difference is between 9 ct and 18 ct gold. Will the 9 ct gold potentially rust? Will it look different (I'm going for white gold rather than yellow)? Any other difference I should know about?
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Dec 23, 2012 19:21
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Mordiceius posted:Here are some crappy blurry pictures I took with my iPhone! Ring looks awesome, dude, nice job. I was shopping for a ring with a similar stone setup, and the jeweler asked me if my now-fiance/then-girlfriend wore her jewelry hard, because emeralds are soft as far as precious stones go, and that they'd be easy to crack with day-to-day wear. I told her yes, my girlfriend is a force of destruction, so we decided to go with a different green stone instead, which has a great color but is significantly harder. Just something to potentially mention to your intended, since a cracked engagement ring is a real downer for all concerned.
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Dec 23, 2012 19:46
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striking-wolf posted:I'm looking at buying a ring, and I'm wondering what the difference is between 9 ct and 18 ct gold. Will the 9 ct gold potentially rust? Will it look different (I'm going for white gold rather than yellow)? Any other difference I should know about? I really don't think that any gold alloys would rust, 9ct would just be harder and less valuable. I'm no expert but I would assume cheaper alloys like 9ct would be made with nickel and whatnot, which could cause an allergic reaction in some people. Keep in mind that most gold alloys (e.g. 18k, 14k, and I assume 9k) would be rhodium plated, and as such would require re-plating to maintain their whiteness. Personally I ended up going with palladium for the engagement ring. It should be essentially the same price (or cheaper) than white gold, yet pretty much has all the important properties of platinum. No plating needed, white, durable, etc. It is, however, a little less dense and harder to manipulate, so more complex designs are difficult. The other important lesson I learned was to consider how the engagement ring will mesh with the wedding band. My fiance is interested in getting a wedding band that fits tightly to her engagement ring. Because I went with palladium, it makes it a bit tougher to find a fitted match. If you think your fiance would like a wedding band that fits with her engagement ring, choose your engagement ring design accordingly.
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Dec 24, 2012 05:08
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I asked the question, and she said yes! I usually get pretty worked up over these sorts of occasions, and I was expecting to be anxious like a motherfucker, but I went into it determined and fearless. We caught a boat taxi to Land's End, where I finally did it under the famous arch. I thought it was going to be a simple walk from the marina, but it was really rocky in some spots and that didn't seem like such a great idea. Even getting beneath the arch took some wading through the waters of the Pacific Ocean and the Sea of Cortez crashing into each other, but we made it to the spot that I had planned, and I got down on one knee right there in the water and asked. She was thrilled, and she didn't even give a poo poo about the cheapo ring. We've done some browsing for rings since we got home, and I'm sort of glad that everything fell through because I'm not so sure that the design that I made was as perfect as I thought. I think she would have been perfectly happy regardless, but some of the designs that she likes are nowhere near what I designed. Anyway, now we have all the time we need to choose something, and I feel a lot better about not having to rush it. Here's a picture of the newly engaged couple, sucking face with the landmark in the background.  
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Dec 25, 2012 00:36
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Congrats that's beautiful and glad it worked out in the end.
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Dec 25, 2012 02:45
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She didn't run away screaming and she said YES! Took a trip down to Siesta Key, FL for a "winter vacation" and surprised her one morning 12/12/12 on Turtle Beach while we were looking for shells. Told her I found a sand dollar and produced this instead:  Love the ring. We had it made at a local jeweler. We're now wedding planning and hope to get married 05/04/13 in either St Thomas or St John USVI. Does anyone have any experience with travel to or marriage at STT or STJ? We're eloping with just the two of us and then we'll have a reception back here in the states. Scrapez fucked around with this message at 14:58 on Dec 26, 2012 |
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Dec 26, 2012 14:56
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I'm sure this question has come up before, but is there any nice way to say "no kids allowed" when you're inviting a bunch of family that have small children to your wedding? My fiancee has a number of cousins with kids, and while we'd like to have them all attend it would all add up to about 30 kids for about 140 adults at our wedding, and that just seems like an awful lot of children. Problem is, it just seems kind of rude to invite the adult family members but not the kids; if I had kids and got invited to a wedding that had a no kids rule, I would seriously consider not attending. Also, these are all close family members that we see often, so I really don't want them to be upset, since we'll have ample opportunity to hear about it if they are.
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Dec 27, 2012 03:55
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Although I don't have kids myself, I think parents are probably used to getting invitations for "adult receptions." I imagine it's probably more fun for them to go to a wedding where they can enjoy themselves without kids to watch over. Another idea, which I'm probably going to do myself, is to hire a babysitter to watch all the kids.
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Dec 27, 2012 04:06
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We have already decided that No Kids Allowed is going to be a thing at our wedding, because we hate kids and it's our wedding. Simple enough. If you don't want to come because you can't bring your screaming little nightmares, well, we don't want you there anyway.
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Dec 27, 2012 05:06
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We're trying to figure out the whole kids thing for our wedding now too. The tough thing about our wedding is A. it's a destination wedding for most of the attendees and B. it's going to be at Disney World, the most kid friendly place on earth. The tough thing is there are kids we'd definitely want to attend, but there are also some that I'd probably rather not. Nothing against the kids, it's just I don't know them that well and some of them haven't even met me. The even tougher thing is it's making it even harder for us to gauge the number of people at the wedding since I'm not even sure if the people would make it or not so the guest count can swing heavily because some of them have several kids. The only positive thing is that Disney doesn't count people under 21 into the guest count for the food, though you do have to pay something for their food, not sure just how much yet.
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Dec 27, 2012 17:01
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marauderthirty posted:We have already decided that No Kids Allowed is going to be a thing at our wedding, because we hate kids and it's our wedding. Simple enough. If you don't want to come because you can't bring your screaming little nightmares, well, we don't want you there anyway. Me and my fiance share the same sentiment. We hate kids and even though the wedding is little less than 2 years out, we've already put our foot down on no kids. You can bring them to the ceremony, but they aren't getting into the reception. In addition to simply not wanting screaming, annoying kids there, our venue will likely be counting heads and we don't want to be shelling out the extra cash at the end of the night because you brought kids that weren't invited.
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Dec 27, 2012 18:24
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I won my wedding invitations in a contest, almost a year in advance. Now that I'm at the time when I should be sending out STDs, I'm wondering why I can't just send out invitations instead of getting STDs printed. What do you guys think?
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Dec 27, 2012 21:24
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rockcity posted:We're trying to figure out the whole kids thing for our wedding now too. The tough thing about our wedding is A. it's a destination wedding for most of the attendees and B. it's going to be at Disney World, the most kid friendly place on earth. The tough thing is there are kids we'd definitely want to attend, but there are also some that I'd probably rather not. Nothing against the kids, it's just I don't know them that well and some of them haven't even met me. The even tougher thing is it's making it even harder for us to gauge the number of people at the wedding since I'm not even sure if the people would make it or not so the guest count can swing heavily because some of them have several kids. The only positive thing is that Disney doesn't count people under 21 into the guest count for the food, though you do have to pay something for their food, not sure just how much yet. You are asking for a word of trouble if you try to invite some children but not others, it's pretty much an all or nothing kind of deal. Disney does offer babysitting services at their hotels. Perhaps look into what it would cost to hire out that service for the day so that people can bring their children and enjoy Disney with them, but attend your wedding without the children tagging along.
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Dec 27, 2012 21:40
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Emasculatrix posted:I won my wedding invitations in a contest, almost a year in advance. Now that I'm at the time when I should be sending out STDs, I'm wondering why I can't just send out invitations instead of getting STDs printed. What do you guys think? When is your wedding? I'm mostly in favor of the earlier the better. But too early might make your RSVPs slow to arrive and track down. "Oh sweet, Emasculatrix's wedding invite arrived! Oh it's next semester, I better wait until I have my class schedule..." and then they put it in a drawer and it gets forgotten until a week before your wedding.
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Dec 27, 2012 21:46
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No matter how polite you are in saying no kids, people will be offended. My husband and I were going to do a no kids under a certain age thing, but most of his family flipped out at the mention of it. All the family that lives close to us has kids over 6 and the family members living further with kids under 4 said they couldn't make it. So we thought ok, kids over 6 are old enough to behave, shouldn't be an issue, no need to say no kids. But suddenly, two weeks before oh we can make it! And we'll bring our toddler and baby! Plus we invited a family friend and her fiance and they decided that means their three children under the age of 5 are invited too. Luckily there was no noise during the ceremony, but during my new father in law's amazing and heartfelt speech there was a screaming baby.
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Dec 27, 2012 21:52
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PopRocks posted:When is your wedding? I'm mostly in favor of the earlier the better. But too early might make your RSVPs slow to arrive and track down. "Oh sweet, Emasculatrix's wedding invite arrived! Oh it's next semester, I better wait until I have my class schedule..." and then they put it in a drawer and it gets forgotten until a week before your wedding. It's over Labor Day. I suppose most people might lose it by then, it just feels so ridiculous to print out save the dates when I have a big box of wedding invitations sitting next to my desk.
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Dec 27, 2012 22:28
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marauderthirty posted:We have already decided that No Kids Allowed is going to be a thing at our wedding, because we hate kids and it's our wedding. Simple enough. If you don't want to come because you can't bring your screaming little nightmares, well, we don't want you there anyway. Amen. Thankfully my fiancé and I are the first in our generation of both our families to get married and neither of us have siblings/cousins with kids so we don't have any small child relatives yet that we'd be guilted into inviting. I am making ONE exception, my friend who's coming from overseas has a kid and I don't want to make her have to find a babysitter in a foreign country (plus he's a pretty cool little dude, despite my hatred of kids). If anyone bitches about that kid being invited but not theirs they can shove it. It's my wedding dammit.
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Dec 27, 2012 22:42
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I'm glad so many of you feel me on the children thing, I thought I was going to get blasted for that. Like so many of you say, it is our wedding and nobody else's, and frankly I could care less if nobody shows as a result. It is OUR wedding, we aren't doing it to entertain you and your family, we are doing it for each other. I think if anything I would be a little more keen to allow kids at the reception, because that's probably going to be a noisier event, but even then I don't see myself being ok with anyone younger than like 10. We aren't going to be spending a lot on the wedding as a whole, and the meal is no exception to that. I'm thinking a whole lotta barbecue, or something equally delicious, most likely buffet style. We have no desire to spend $25/plate or however much it normally costs for some fancy garbage that we wouldn't normally eat otherwise, so feeding a few kids isn't a huge deal I suppose. Although thinking about kids screaming through the speeches is making me consider talking to her about banning them outright.
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Dec 28, 2012 02:06
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Kitten Kisses posted:You are asking for a word of trouble if you try to invite some children but not others, it's pretty much an all or nothing kind of deal. Disney does offer babysitting services at their hotels. Perhaps look into what it would cost to hire out that service for the day so that people can bring their children and enjoy Disney with them, but attend your wedding without the children tagging along. We still plan on inviting all the kids, there's just some I probably wouldn't invite if there weren't others that have to be there. It's less the issue of kids being there and more of just the big uncertainty on guest count. We have a meeting at Disney on Jan 5th to start making some decisions and we're having a really hard time figuring out what percentage of our guest list would attend and between it being long distance for nearly the entire guest list and some of them having upwards of 4 kids it's certainly not an easy task.
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Dec 28, 2012 02:15
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marauderthirty posted:We have already decided that No Kids Allowed is going to be a thing at our wedding, because we hate kids and it's our wedding. Simple enough. If you don't want to come because you can't bring your screaming little nightmares, well, we don't want you there anyway. Us too. It has definitely caused a bit of drama but gently caress them. It isn't even the money, it is the atmosphere. In a place full of free booze and raunchy jokes I don't want to have our guests having to watch themselves in front of kids. The whole "but it is about celebrating family" thing is crap too. This is a very recent innovation. Weddings used to be adult only affairs and they damned well should have stayed that way.
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Dec 28, 2012 18:45
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I'm looking forward to having kids at my wedding. There is nothing cuter than toddlers in formal wear. I hope I get to dance and take pictures with all of them. Plus with the music going, no one can hear them throw a tantrum anyway.
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Dec 28, 2012 20:13
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marauderthirty posted:We have no desire to spend $25/plate or however much it normally costs for some fancy garbage that we wouldn't normally eat otherwise You'd be hard pressed to get fancy garbage for $25/head. I couldnt tell you how many times I've put out fancy garbage for $250/head.
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Dec 29, 2012 07:31
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Psychobabble posted:You'd be hard pressed to get fancy garbage for $25/head. I couldnt tell you how many times I've put out fancy garbage for $250/head. Mine's looking like $70/head. I looked up another place and it was $285/head. Wedding food is stupidly expensive. If I could find a non-lovely place for just $25/head I'd be all over it.
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Dec 29, 2012 17:08
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My caterer charges only $20 a head for food, but then when you add in labor, table rentals, tax, service charge, and gratuity it comes out to $60 a head. 
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Dec 29, 2012 19:17
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 That is guddamn ridiculous! I'm glad we pre-emptively decided to go the super cheap route, because holy poo poo. How can you even justify that? I mean sure, a caterer is going to have to pay a staff and travel and all that, but 250 dollars?! I spent the most money I've ever spent on a meal in my life just last week when we were in Mexico. Surf and turf, motherfucking filet mignon and lobster tail, table side flambé, on the marina, romantic as gently caress. $140 for both of us, we both got the same thing. Not only was it the most expensive meal of my life, it was also the most delicious. It was outstanding. We also had fondue for Valentines Day last year, it was about 110-120, also amazing. Yet I've never been to a wedding where I could genuinely say I enjoyed the food. $250 a head is absolute craziness.
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Dec 29, 2012 23:49
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I was able to get down to 20/head including alcohol and service by using a restaurant for catering instead of a wedding caterer. Once you tack on the word "wedding" to any service oriented business the price doubles at least.
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Dec 30, 2012 00:06
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I'm working on planning my Disney wedding and we're picking a brunchtime wedding because it has the cheapest cost minimum overall, but even that still has a $100/person food minimum. That does include anything food related so cake and alcohol can also be included to get to that minimum, but it's still pretty high. Dinnertime weddings have a $150/person minimum.
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Dec 30, 2012 00:25
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All the catering services I'm looking at are in the $15-25 per person range, and that's for pretty good food. Not filet mignon but still good. If you're paying 250 I can't imagine it could be good enough to justify that.
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Dec 30, 2012 03:36
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We are paying $85 a head for ours. That's after the cost of the venue and tax/gratuity. It's a little pricey, but the venue itself is doing the food and alcohol which pretty much guarantees they won't run out on us. We didn't do much venue shopping because we had both already decided in our heads that this is where our wedding would be. I like it for the venue itself which is beautiful. She likes the chicken cordon bleu balls.
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Dec 30, 2012 05:26
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rockcity posted:I'm working on planning my Disney wedding and we're picking a brunchtime wedding because it has the cheapest cost minimum overall, but even that still has a $100/person food minimum. That does include anything food related so cake and alcohol can also be included to get to that minimum, but it's still pretty high. Dinnertime weddings have a $150/person minimum. Well, it's Disney AND a wedding so that's like the perfect storm of price inflation. I went and visited the place I initially wanted my reception to be at and it's smaller than I remembered so I'm shopping around elsewhere. Then again going with a smaller venue will allow me to cut excess guests from my guest list with a minimum of guilt, so when my grandma wants me to invite her third cousin twice removed I can be like "nope sorry no space!" I did discover that a reception at the top of the Kennedy Center in Washington DC is surprisingly cheap (starts at just $45/head for food and space rental!) and has an amazing view of the city, but I'm super worried that if we book that we'll get pre-empted by someone who's willing to throw more money at them and be scrambling to find a new venue later. We'll also get booted if they schedule a performance for that night, which is highly likely on a Saturday in spring. Of course they're trying to get me to put down a nonrefundable deposit anyway even though they don't have their performance schedule for 2014 yet 
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Dec 30, 2012 13:00
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Ah, if the venue price is included in the number that makes a lot more sense. Ours is $2500 for the venue that we're using for the wedding and reception (two different areas in the venue,) then $25/person for the food. We plan on 100 people so that'd work out to 50/person but would include the wedding venue too. Then again we're getting married in bumfuck West Virginia so that probably brings the price down from what some of you are paying some too.
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Dec 30, 2012 18:55
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Aquatic Giraffe posted:Well, it's Disney AND a wedding so that's like the perfect storm of price inflation. Yeah, pretty much. Their price for everything involved in the wedding is pretty inflated, the only one that seems even somewhat reasonable to me is the cake pricing which from what I've heard before is not really bad. Other things however are way over the top. The biggest being any of the transportation related things, limos, carriages, etc and also a character appearance. A 30 minute character appearance is $900.
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Dec 30, 2012 23:43
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I'm starting to make up my mind about what kind of dress I'm going to wear and I'd like to wear a sash but I hate the idea of tying it in a bow. Does anyone know of places to see different types of ways to tie a sash? I've found some youtube tutorials but most of them do big poofy knots or big poofy bows. I'd like to have a small tight knot that resembles more of a necktie knot. On another note... wedding favors. Do people still do them? We're having a JP ceremony followed by a 30-person reception at a restaurant in a private room, are favors appropriate in this situation? Any really innovative and cheap ideas?
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Dec 31, 2012 10:19
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archwhore posted:On another note... wedding favors. Do people still do them? We're having a JP ceremony followed by a 30-person reception at a restaurant in a private room, are favors appropriate in this situation? Any really innovative and cheap ideas? I went to five weddings this year and two had wedding favors for what it's worth. One of them had little lavender and sea salt chocolates that had a little thank you for coming note on them. The other the groom was a homebrewer and he brewed a 200 bottle batch of beer and had a bottle for everyone who came. That one was pretty awesome and would consider doing it, but my wedding is a destination wedding and it's hard to fly with glass bottles and Disney might not let me anyway.
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Dec 31, 2012 14:33
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archwhore posted:I'm starting to make up my mind about what kind of dress I'm going to wear and I'd like to wear a sash but I hate the idea of tying it in a bow. Does anyone know of places to see different types of ways to tie a sash? I've found some youtube tutorials but most of them do big poofy knots or big poofy bows. I'd like to have a small tight knot that resembles more of a necktie knot. I'm no help on knots, but what about a decorative item to hide the knot? Like a brooch or something. Or you could probably safety-pin it in a way that just looks like it's part of the dress. Or if there are already tutorials on big poofy knots...could you just tug on those and make a better looking knot?
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Dec 31, 2012 15:17
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The last wedding had a single lottery ticket rolled up with a little ribon tied round it on each guests place mat at the meal. Everyone there thought it was a great idea.
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Dec 31, 2012 15:25
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