Andorra posted:

No man, people act just like they do in the movies. Everybody who plays football is a dumb jock.

Grand Gigas posted:

I mean, as someone who played football for seven goddamned years of my life, I'd honestly say that probably only, like, thirty percent fit under the umbrella of "dumb jock."

Not Always Right posted:

(I work at a car wash that often sees high-end vehicles such as Ferraris. In fact, we get so much people staring that we’d actually had to change our exit to the road as people always bunched up around the cars making exiting difficult. The exit is very well signed, with big white lines being drawn; not a single accident has happened. However, one day, someone in a very banged-up Volkswagen wants to save time by driving into the exit so he could get to the pump quicker, but drives straight into a brand new Ferrari.)

Volkswagen Driver: “My car! Look at what you have done to my car!”

Ferrari Driver: “Pardon me?!”

Volkswagen Driver: “Look at what you have done to my car with your s*** Lamborghini!”

Ferrari Driver: “First of all, this is a Ferrari. Secondly, I honestly can’t tell if the big dent in your car was there to begin with or not. Judging by the state of your vehicle, it must have been. But, seeing how you have damaged my vehicle, we are going to have a problem.”

Volkswagen Driver: “Pssh. Your car isn’t worth half of mine! See the audio equipment in my baby, buddy? 500 Euros!”

(The Ferrari driver gets on his phone as the Volkswagen driver continues to rant about how that ‘piece of s*** Porsche’ ruined his car. Sure enough, the police arrive and take statements. Once they take the Ferrari owner’s statement and review our security footage, the Volkswagen driver is blamed.)

Volkswagen Driver: “F*** you, a**holes!” I’m not going to pay for that wreck!”

Police Officer: “You certainly are, but we’ll discuss that on the station.”

Volkswagen Driver: “Why?!”

Police Officer: “Well, to start with, you’ve given us false details. Following that, you caused an accident and refused to settle this correctly whilst clearly being to blame. Following that, we have done a check on your vehicle and it’s uninsured. Also, you don’t have a licence and you’re wanted for two hit and runs.”

(At that moment the Volkswagen driver starts to run. His mistake is trying to run past the Ferrari driver, who has been calm and collected through the whole ordeal. Without a single second thought, the Ferrari driver takes a swing at the Volkswagen driver; who gets hit in the stomach and collapses for the police officers to arrest him. We learn that the Volkswagen driver was put in jail for four years for various offences, while the Ferrari driver was let off with a warning.)

kamcalste posted:

The "nerds vs jocks" stereotype was never really a thing at my school, either. Yeah, people got bullied and poo poo, but it was usually within their own social circles and usually not for stuff as mundane as their hobbies. I'm not saying it doesn't happen, but it seems to happen a lot less than movies/television makes it out to. It makes me wonder - did the "popular kids v.s. nerds" stereotypes ever really exist, or was it all just some media created conspiracy?

Anyways, content:

Jerry Manderbilt posted:

Well, my little brother had long hair in 7th grade and he actually got stalked by some creep who thought he was a girl

Anyway, I only found one really boring story on the Hannibal Lecture section of Troper Tales, so I looked into, uh, "reason you suck":

kamcalste posted:

The "nerds vs jocks" stereotype was never really a thing at my school, either. Yeah, people got bullied and poo poo, but it was usually within their own social circles and usually not for stuff as mundane as their hobbies. I'm not saying it doesn't happen, but it seems to happen a lot less than movies/television makes it out to. It makes me wonder - did the "popular kids v.s. nerds" stereotypes ever really exist, or was it all just some media created conspiracy?

constantIllusion posted:

Popular people being assholes to everyone and treating the school's hallways as Fashion Week runways while never having to answer to authority is only a thing in movies and on tv.

kamcalste posted:

Defeatist Elitist posted:

What's really funny is that, despite how much they hate "jocks", they have no loving clue how these people even act half the time. I mean, every time I've been playing D&D or doing some other nerdy poo poo and some someone comes up and asks what's happening, they either just go "Oh" and walk away afterward (usually), or they ask how you play.

Basically, just because you're a sociopath doesn't mean everybody else is!

kamcalste posted:

The "nerds vs jocks" stereotype was never really a thing at my school, either. Yeah, people got bullied and poo poo, but it was usually within their own social circles and usually not for stuff as mundane as their hobbies. I'm not saying it doesn't happen, but it seems to happen a lot less than movies/television makes it out to. It makes me wonder - did the "popular kids v.s. nerds" stereotypes ever really exist, or was it all just some media created conspiracy?

TyrsHTML posted:

In middle school I was made fun of for liking Star Trek. In highschool the bullies had discovered scfi and pot and just hung out with us, becuase we were not anti-social spergs, just nerdy guys who also liked scfi and pot. I cant honestly think of anyone in highschool actually on a sports team who was a brain dead jock bully. Those were usually the anti-social kids who just had hard home lives and acted out for lack of a better outlet. Poor guys. Even then it was some verbal harrasment that you ignored and moved on from. Sadly no one in my school stopped everyone by saying a movie line and then roundhouse kicking a bully though a wall. Must have gone to a boring school.

TyrsHTML posted:

In middle school I was made fun of for liking Star Trek. In highschool the bullies had discovered scfi and pot and just hung out with us, becuase we were not anti-social spergs, just nerdy guys who also liked scfi and pot. I cant honestly think of anyone in highschool actually on a sports team who was a brain dead jock bully. Those were usually the anti-social kids who just had hard home lives and acted out for lack of a better outlet. Poor guys. Even then it was some verbal harrasment that you ignored and moved on from. Sadly no one in my school stopped everyone by saying a movie line and then roundhouse kicking a bully though a wall. Must have gone to a boring school.

slingshot effect posted:

Whole lotta stuff in this thread. Goons laying down sick burns on those dumb girls

GrickleGrass posted:

Just remembered a teacher in elementary school, seventh grade I think, who refused to use the word "history" (though she taught the subject) and instead referred to it as "herstory." She told us this boldly on the first day of class, saying that history was a sexist term because it meant his story-- "It purposely excludes women's contributions to history, it's a term created by men to oppress women!"

She neglected the fact that "herstory" was just as offensive by her logic, just the other way around. Any argument that pointed this out resulted in detention. I was an argumentative little poo poo back then who didn't know how to let things slide, so she rightfully hated me. She legitimately hated men, though, not sure why-- she was engaged and previously worked at hooters according to a friends dad.

Also, there were rumours she banged Nickelback, as she supposedly "met them" and told us she could totally get us all autographs if we wanted, all we had to do was sign a sheet and she'd give it to them to personalize them all for us. I didn't sign the sheet, along with a few other kids, as (and I quote) "Nickelback sucks!" I still remember the evil eye she shot me for not signing the drat sheet. I didn't want Nickelback's lovely autograph. Turned out nobody got an autograph, and she pretended she didn't remember when a few kids who were genuinely let down confronted her at the year's end.

Worst mark I've ever received in a history class, and I love history. I argued it with the principal, bringing a couple of my female friends with me with all of our final exams to compare long-answer questions that were similar, where they'd gotten full marks and I hadn't. It resulted in a huge debacle where the principal, teacher and I all had to sit down and go through my entire year's worth of work to prove I wasn't a low seventies student. I got my mark raised fifteen percent or so, and wasn't even reprimanded for my penis-drawings and assorted other doodles in the margins of my work. The principal later apologized to me, but commented I should keep my "art" and my schoolwork separate.

I don't know why I went through all the trouble. It was elementary school, it's not like my marks mattered, but I guess I was on an angsty crusade to prove a point because I felt I was being treated unfairly and I hated that poo poo as a kid.

Gilgameshback posted:

Oh god yes, a rich vein of STDH -

Henchman of Santa posted:

Also where the hell is 7th grade considered elementary school?

Bertrand Hustle posted:

There actually are people who say poo poo like "herstory", but I think feminists and linguists alike can agree that they're idiots.

Do people who think like that even realize that there are other languages? History comes from Middle French estoire/estorie, not "his story".

slingshot effect posted:

Whole lotta stuff in this thread. Goons laying down sick burns on those dumb girls

jodai posted:

I was just thinking about Troper Tales and realized that not only have these people not been in a fight but they seem to have never seen a fight outside of the movies. Every time I saw a fight in high school, it was sloppy and awkward. No one was doing any special moves and delivering dry witticisms, it was mostly just people slapping at each other until they got bored.

Not Always Related posted:

(I am sitting in the passenger seat with my dad driving and my mom in the back seat.)

Dad: *to me* “You have adjusted the seat as if you have long legs.”

Me: “I have a short torso and long legs. My friend has a long torso and short legs.”

Mom: “I am proportionally correct.”

Me: “It’s better to have short legs and long torso as a guy. Creates nice proportion when you’re a guy.”

Dad: “No such thing.”

Mom: “I am proportionally correct.”

Me: *wags my finger to my dad* “Someone contributed too much!”

Mom: “Must be your dad.”

Dad: “Okay, okay. It’s me.”

Mom: “I am proportionally correct.”

Dad: “I was being politically correct when I said okay.”

Mom: “Agree to disagree!”

Leofish posted:

Choreography is a magical thing.

From Not Always Related, the family version of all this other poo poo.


BEEP BOOP I AM PROPORTIONALLY CORRECT. I AM FULLY FUNCTIONAL. *wags finger* Ohohohohoho!

Henchman of Santa posted:

Also where the hell is 7th grade considered elementary school?

Andorra posted:

Has the whole "Why is semen taste so salty?" story been posted in that thread yet? I'd expect that to show up as often as La-a and Orangejello show up in the terrible name thread.

Midjack posted:

High school biology teacher had 2 good ones.

When I had the class, she said that unborn babies get oxygen via inhaling amniotic fluid. I didn't feel like arguing and neither did anyone else in the class.

Four years later my brother was in her class. In addition to the above gem, they were going over a unit on sexuality and she was explaining the composition of semen.

... and then the seminal vesicles, like, pour gatorade on the sperm. That's what makes it taste sweet!

After about 5 seconds of stunned silence the classroom erupted in laughter and after a couple of feeble attempts to salvage the situation, the teacher fled the room.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

Waffleman_ posted:

I don't even get it. What's the loving point of the story?

General Panic posted:

The main point I'm getting is that the guy who wrote it can't do dialogue to save his life.

quote:

A "womens idealism on arts and art culture" class was offered as one of the compulsory credit builders at my school. None of the Credit Builders are any fun, So my friend and I chose to attend this one.
Its a pass or fail based on Attendance only, so all you need to do is show up.
My friend and I went to the Costume Store room and explained our idea to the eccentric gay man who works there who also agreed it aws hilarious.
For the rest of term my friend (male) showed up in a lounge suit while i (female) showed up in different historical outfits to serve him cookies, act as a human foot stool, or hold his pipe.
when ever the teacher would ask me a question I would look at my friend and say "Oh, I don't know about such matters, such talk is for the more educated men folk"
The final project was meant to be an artwork showing the suffering of women. a lot of the class members did really contempory bullshit artworks like gluing a leaf to a pen and hanging it from string. So I figured I could also go equally as crazy, and just give my teacher a rag with some tomato sauce on it.
I got 94% in that class
Turns out my teacher didn't realize my friend and I were loving with them. He thought we were drama students using our art to show female suffering.